Serving Barber County Since 1991

 

KWIBS - From  March 17, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

So, we’re not the only newspaper experiencing the delays of the USPS.
My friend and colleague, Dennise Andersen of the Coldwater, KS “Western Star” finally had enough and this situation struck his last nerve last week.
When I see his newspaper and a full two column personal “Star Forum - Observations,” I take note.
We have the same issues that Dennise has and the frustration is not caused by our local USPS when you get your paper weeks after we mail it. There is no logical explanation for it, but Dennise sums it up well.
“observations
by d.a.
Everybody grumbles and gripes. We kind of like to do so, I think.
Well, one of the most frequent gripes we hear around The Star office is about timely delivery of the newspaper each week. I am guessing that’s the case for most newspapers.
I have pretty much refrained from writing about the problem here — mostly because I feel our local postal crew does a good job. In addition to that, they only handle the copies of The Western Star which are delivered in Coldwater and on the Coldwater and Protection rural routes.
The rest of the copies of The Star each week go near and far, from neighboring cities, to neighboring states, and beyond. They leave here in tubs headed to Wilmore or Wichita and Kansas City. In postal facilities in Wichita and Kansas City the papers are resorted and sent on their way to each subscriber — though not without stopping at other large postal facilities along the way.
Sometimes things (nobody knows for sure why) go wrong.
We have seen it take a week for a copy of The Star to get from here to Woodward, Okla.
One lady who lived in Arizona wrote and asked if we could mail her paper the same day we do those in Coldwater so it didn’t take her so long to get the news. (Trust me, we mail them all at the same time.)
People have called and told us of getting two or three issues of The Star at the same time — or getting them out of sequence. Neither makes any sense.
« « «
What prompted the writing of this column that has been simmering just below the surface for a number of years now?
Within the last three weeks we have seen three of the most odd examples possible.
One day we received “undeliverable” messages for two subscribers. Those “undeliverables” amount to 90¢ each in postage due we have to pay.
I called the postmaster in Mannford, Okla., from which one of the papers had been returned with the note “No Mail Receptacle, Unable to Forward.” He checked and said it was a valid, deliverable address. We did nothing to change the address and Rex Anne Norris is still getting her Star each week — but we still paid 90¢ for the notice.
The other one was rather a shock to start with. The note on it said “Deceased, Unable to Forward.” I drove over to talk to Skip Herd, the father of a young subscriber in Pratt. He, too, was surprised to hear that his son Owen was deceased. He assured me that he had bought dinner for his son and eaten with him since the date of the paper which found him “deceased.” He asked for the notice we had received, thinking Owen might like it in his scrap book. Still we paid another 90¢.
As far as multiple copies of the newspaper arriving at the same time, we now have our tale to tell.
Each week we exchange newspapers with one in Bessemer, Alabama. It is also named The Western Star.
Last week we got five (count ’em ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5) issues of the Bessemer paper in our mail box at one time. That sort of takes the “news” out of the newspaper. At least those didn’t have a postage due charge involved.
« « «
Another reason that I have let this matter simmer as long as I have is fear of bringing down the wrath of the United States Postal Service on top of The Western Star.
But now I'm ready.
Bring it on.
Tell me what we are doing wrong on this end of the mailing process so we can fix it.
Several years ago an area postmaster inspected us once a year to see that our mailing process and sorting was up to snuff. He would usually find three or four addresses which had a glitch in them or papers sorted into the wrong bundle.
We would fix the problem and newspapers would get where they were headed more efficiently and quicker.
Not so since the USPS has discontinued the inspections.
This business depends on the post office to deliver 99 per cent of our papers each week.
« « «
And it usually does, but no tellin’ when.”
Shortly after reading this, I got a call from “Lisa” with the Kansas Historical Society. She gets all of the Kansas papers and in the past six months, she’s also getting the newspapers out of sequence, weeks late or, not at all. Our February 24 issue never arrived. She's in the system and we paid to send it to her.
This is where I throw up my hands in frustration.
Kansas Press Association and the National Newspaper Association have had several publisher round tables concerning this very issue. I recently sat in on one about two weeks ago via Zoom.
Someone commented, “I sure wish that someone would make the Post Office great again, maybe Elon....” No other service can have a rate increase of close to 20% and provide 20% less service at the same time and get away with it!
I am unashamed to tell people they don’t have to wait for the mail to get our newspaper. They can also save money by subscribing to our digital PDF issue.
For $31.95 annually, you can get the newspaper early Monday morning by email. We also have 6 month plans and access for 48 hours. Just go to www.gyphillpremiere.com and follow the links. It also has cool searchable archive feature!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  March 10, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

Wow! What a windy Tuesday we had.
Since I’m lazy and don’t have my own, I log into Eric Larrison’s weather station located about a half a mile away from me to check wind, pressure and measurable precipitation.
He was showing sustained winds of 20 mph and gusts up to 50 mph. Another friend near Wichita reported gusts up to 93 mph!!
The wind caused our kayaks, 100 yards away by the pond, to become projectiles, launching them in the air, one hitting my wife’s car and one hitting our house. I noticed a paper towel that was sitting on the ground next to the wood pile. It hadn’t moved and I commented on it.
I was driving a loaner vehicle while my truck was in the body shop and I went out in the wind to move it to a safer location. The kayaks had missed it, but I didn’t want to take a chance on other projectiles flying around the yard and since it was a friend’s “loaner”, I hated to take a chance that it would be damaged in the wind storm.
As I was walking back to the house, an aluminum boat took flight. I ran over and tried to flip it over and it just became a giant aluminum kite, so I set it back down and ran to the house. On my way inside I noticed the paper towel that was still sitting on the ground next to the wood pile. That must have been one secure paper towel.
I got inside and my wife said, “Don’t forget it’s trash day tomorrow.”
Trash day? Are you kidding?
Yes, that’s when I take the trash in, but I thought if it was this windy in the morning, the trash might beat me to town. It did not and Wednesday morning I had to load the trash. As I drove down the alley, I noticed that trash bins were scattered everywhere. That blows....

KWIBS - From  March 3, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

A shout out to Tom Walters and The First Christian Church for hosting a Christian concert featuring Seventh Day Slumber, Magdalene Rose, Grace Graber and Stuey Blanco last Wednesday.
It wasn’t really our style of music, but I try to keep an open mind and I love all styles of music and appreciate the performance. What we really loved was seeing the kids in our community having fun and being ministered to that night. Thank you Pastor Tom for bringing the show to town and giving Ronda and I some earplugs!
My mom is turning 82 years-young on Friday, March 7, 2018. That’s a cool accomplishment!
I could have used my space to tell funny stories about her like the time she took my sister and I to Century II in Wichita to an event. She got lost and ended up on the grounds sidewalks in our car. We kept telling her she wasn’t on a road and we were sure she was driving on the sidewalks, but she insisted she was until we ran over a garden hose.
Or the time I had friend spend the night and we ate Exlax mint gum and she had to clean up the mess we made.
There’s also the favorite dishes my sister and I used to fight over, like Teriyaki chicken wings made in the microwave, spaghetti and hotdogs and Hamburger Helper. The thought of eating that as an adult makes my stomach hurt writing about it.
I love you mom.
Happy 82nd Birthday!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  February 24, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

Twenty-seven years ago, his mother and I decided we were done having children, but God had different plans for us. What might have seemed like an "Oops" at the time, turned into one of life's greatest blessings - another son. Nick amazes me every day with his talents, his humor and his faith.
Most recently, he’s become a girl dad and he’s quite amazing at it! Mommy is pretty awesome too and her birthday is just a few days later on Friday, February 28! We love you, Nick and Nat, and hope your birthdays are as amazing as you are. :)
I'm proud of him and thank the Lord for that kid - that “Oops”. I love you Nick. I hope you had a very special 27th birthday!
I don’t know what my wife was thinking, which is fair enough, I suppose. I baffle her daily with the odd things I do, some of which can best be described as ill conceived.
Wednesday morning it was about -2 degrees outside and I thought it would be fun to video myself throwing a cup of water into the air in slow motion.
I asked Ronda, “Can you video me in slow motion throwing a cup of water into the air?”
She answered, “Well, I guess, but won’t you move so slowly that you’ll just spill the water when moving in slow motion?”
That really baffled me and I burst into laughter. Upon my response, she started laughing too, but I don’t think she knew why we were laughing!
I had to show her that on our camera settings there was a “Slow Motion” video option.... For the rest of the morning, I moved in slow motion to illustrate what that would look like.
Anyway...
My throwing the cup of water into the air trick did not work. I tried warm water and cold water. It just didn’t work. In fact, the wind blew it right back in my face and, it turns out that it was still water, and now I was even colder than I needed to be and needed a paper towel to dry off my face and glasses.
Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From  February 17, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

I never really cared about growing older until I did.
Although improving yourself takes an enormous amount of time, falling apart can happen overnight and it did to me last summer after I ended up in the hospital for over a week. Am I old? Once my metabolism got so slow it could be a special effect in a "Matrix" movie and I realized I have a good knee and a bad knee, a bad shoulder and a worse shoulder, that question became irrelevant.
I found a white hair. Well, like ten years ago. It was in my beard, hiding like the traitor it was. I figured my hair would have betrayed me like this long before now, but no, it’s also turning white and it's falling out at an alarming rate. My once long locks and ponytail seem to be like the ancient ruins of Egypt, just leaving me as a famous relic of the past.
A recent article I read told me that by sporting white, I'm joining a new hair trend. Apparently, it's now OK for people with white hair to show their age. Is the Dad Bod still in style? If so, I'm killing it and I don’t need to keep using the “Just for Men” hair coloring. Why is it just for men? Why won’t it work on women, or dogs for that matter?
Although people don't have to age naturally, there are pills and surgeries and cosmetics for that. There are some benefits to getting older.
One is, I no longer have to do strenuous work. Your buddy's moving his family across town? The snow in the driveway needs shoveled? Your wife wants to rearrange the furniture? Just say these three magic words and you'll never have to lift anything again, "My back hurts." In my case, “Sorry, everything hurts.”
As I get older, I find myself asking my grandkids, “Hey, my iPhone is jacked up, can you fix it for me?” They just roll their eyes at me.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  February 10, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

The weekend before last, I had a reminder of how old I am becoming.
Saturday Night Live celebrated 50 years of making, at least me, laugh.
I’ve been a fan since I was old enough to watch TV and I still record the show to this very day.
Saturday Night Live is one of the longest running network programs in American television history, with over 939 episodes broadcast over the span of 49 seasons. A number of the show's sketches have been developed into feature films, including The Blues Brothers, Wayne's World, A Night at the Roxbury, Superstar, Coneheads and MacGruber.
The line up of past cast members, musicians and actors was amazing and keeping with tradition, the new skits were on the edge - and often over. I caught myself laughing out loud several times.
The show has always been a launch pad for acting careers, take for instance Jimmy Fallon. Fallon became a cast member in 1998. He’s now the host of The Tonight Show. Don’t forget about some of my favorites: Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Jim Breuer, Billy Crystal, Robert Downey, Jr., Norm Macdonald, Seth Meyers, Dennis Miller, Bill Murray, Mike Myers, Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, Martin Short, Molly Shannon, David Spade. You also can’t forget the late John Belushi, Phil Hartman, Chris Farley and Gilda Radner.
Past Presidents, former Beatles, and famous athletes have graced the SNL stage along with some of the best musical performers over the past 5 decades.
It never mattered if you were Republican or Democrat, you were an easy target.
My favorite skit of all time has to be Celebrity Jeopardy. I was 6 years old when the series began. Thanks for the laughs Lorne Michaels and the cast of SNL!
Have a great week.

KWIBS - From  February 3, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

No one knows when the Lord will call us home. Sometimes we anticipate it when our loved ones grow old and frail. Other times it is just unfathomable in our minds that perfectly healthy people die in tragic accidents.
The scripture says “our days are numbered.” Psalm 90:12, reads, "So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.". This verse essentially asks God to help us recognize the limited nature of our lives and live with wisdom as a result.
The American Airlines Flight 5342 on Wednesday night claimed the lives of local Barber Countians Lori (Girard) and Bobby Shrock of Kiowa.
Lori graduated with my wife Ronda in 1987. Lori’s Dad Bernie was the first Superintendent of Schools I can remember growing up.
I was just getting out of the shower and my phone alerted to the news. I thought to myself, “oh no, that flight originated from Wichita and I could know someone on it.”
I told my wife what I had read and we turned on the news. After about an hour, it became horribly evident that there would probably be no survivors.
Several text messages early Thursday morning confirmed my fears.
I did know someone on that flight. It was Lori.
The MLHS Class of 1987 mourns another of its own. Out of 28 classmates, 5 of them are now deceased. I grew up with many of them; Lori being one of them.
Our prayers go out to the Schrock family and the friends both in Kiowa and Medicine Lodge.
Live your numbered days as if they were your last.

KWIBS - From  January 27, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

I, like so many in our area, was blessed to grow up attending Schiffters Dances.
It wasn’t just something to do, it was what you did on a weekend.
There’s so much history there, I don’t know where to begin. Marty and I have been friends for decades so when I got the news of Daryl’s passing last week, it was quite a shock. Daryl was a young 86, and in my eyes, would live forever. I spent many nights out at the Schiff’s farm and Marty and I even spent some summers working part time for John McBride, who would later marry Martina. Ronda’s Uncle Earl Wayne Meairs played guitar in the band. I was fortunate to sit in a couple of times when impromptu concerts would start up at the farm.
I had to sit on my thoughts about this great man. Last week was our conservation edition and it didn’t help that my wife came down with the flu and I followed shortly behind her.
We both missed Daryl’s service, but I was able to attend the visitation and Ronda ran into Marty and Martina at the grocery store, a place we’d usually run into their father on a weekly basis.
Thursday afternoon I got a text message from my youngest son Nicholas who was sharing Daryl’s CD with his coworkers in Hays, KS. Nobody could believe that in his early 80s Daryl, with the help of his family and some really great studio musicians, produced an amazing CD at his son-in-law’s studio in Nashville, TN. He was a legend.
Daryl lived an amazing life. He was so proud of his kids and he wasn’t afraid to talk about them! I spent more time at the cabinet shop than at my own shop in my early business years. His children loved him back too. They showered him with gifts and opportunities to perform, even at the Grand Ole Opry.
You’d think for a guy who had performed live his entire life, that performing the Grand Ole Opry would be second nature, but I remember Daryl telling me how nervous he was. You still wouldn’t believe it.
Daryl exhibited kindness to everyone he met. I tried coming up with the right words to tell Marty and Martina how special he was, but all that came out was, “Your dad was cool.” He was so very cool. God rest your soul Daryl Schiff. You will be missed.
Have a great week.

KWIBS - From  January 20, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

This edition, each year, honors the local Conservation District’s Banker’s Award Winners.
Most of those recognized are ranchers and growers. We are thankful for these folks. I think they deserve more than 1 of 52 newspapers we print each year.
Ranchers and growers, too — are my friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. I think about them because I’m thankful for them — not only for what they do but also for how they give.
I watch how hard our land tenant works taking care of his cattle and our ground and sometimes I get to help do simple things to help out like clean out a cattle guard or fix a fence that a tree fell on (I’m not really that good at fixing fence - even after being taught!) Conservation is so much more than you could ever imagine. You’ve heard it said....
“Farmers don’t just work ’til the sun goes down. They work ’til the job gets done.”
“Farmers work in acres, not in hours.”
“In winter’s chill and summer’s heat, farmers and ranchers work so the world can eat.”
“During harvest, farmers give up meals at their table so we can have meals at ours.”
“Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, a preacher, but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer.”
“It isn’t the farm that makes the farmer. It is the love, hard work, and character.”
“When tillage begins, other arts follow. The farmers, therefore, are the founders of human civilization.” (Daniel Webster)
“An industry that feeds you is an industry worth fighting for” and — my addition — worth being grateful for.
“Farmers are the only indispensable people on the face of the earth.” (Li Zhaoxing)
“If you want to find a caretaker for the earth, look no further than a farmer.” (thefarmersdaughterusa.com)
“No farmers. No food. No future.”
Thank you all and have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 13, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

Late Saturday night and early Sunday morning we got our first real taste of winter.
I was proactive enough to grab about 3 days of firewood that I stacked and covered by the front door. I told Ronda, “If I’m not back in 15 minutes know that I love you and the kids.”
I made it back. It was only like 5 feet from the front door.
Ronda was a champ and got us groceries at White’s and we hunkered down for the weekend. I even brought home a bunch of paperwork that I was behind on. I sat at our kitchen table for 2 straight days. I thought my butt was flat before, but it is really flat now.
At about 4 a.m. Sunday I awoke to the sound of sleet hitting the window. I looked out and it was sticking and was coming in harder than I thought it would. That quickly changed to snow and the wind picked up to the point that we were in blizzard condition.
Monday morning I thought I would be a genius and get the snow off the front porch before it froze really hard. I got out my leafblower and I was too late. It had set up like concrete and now it’s a challenge to see who will fall down first. I was nearly the winner on Tuesday as I was hauling the boxes of paperwork out to my truck...
For the first time in 32 years, Monday’s paper didn’t make it due to weather concerns. Ellis Mayfield had a heads up that the roads south of Hutchinson were closed until afternoon. The paper finally arrived late Monday and we were thankful to Ellis and Cherry Road Publishing for helping us out.
Although we could have made it out and into town, we didn’t go anywhere. Instead, we lit a nice warm fire, wrapped up in blankets and watched Netflix.
I did, however, manage to muster the strength to walk on the treadmill and Chuck Norris would be proud because I used my total gym like three days last week. No, it wasn’t a New Year’s Resolution. It was something I started back in October and I’ve been pretty consistent.
If you’re like most New Year’s resolution makers, you’re close to abandoning your goals for 2025 just two weeks in. It’s so common that the second Friday in January is known as Quitter’s Day. More snow is coming... I hate snow.
Don’t be a quitter! Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  January 6, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

“With each change in life, we have to find a new normal.” I won’t say who I stole that quote from, but she’s right.
The format of this newspaper has changed 4 times now in 34 years. We must adapt to each change. You’ll notice we’ve had to make some changes this week. For start, we sadly have to discontinue Days of Yore. We actually went beyond it’s life span. The equipment used to gather it is unreliable and difficult to work. I know, some of you really love Days of Yore. It may someday make a return!
Right before Christmas Mike Miller came to see us concerning Hometown Market in Kiowa. He’s the president of the board and a committed gentlemen to the success and future of the cooperatively owned grocery store and the Kiowa community.
During their annual meeting, the board announced that the store would not pay out any annual dividends, implement a hiring freeze, make cuts to salaries and unfortunately, their weekly advertisement. It came as a shock as they are one of our largest advertisers. We have had Hometown Market on our back page now since 2019 when the Zimmermans stopped publishing The Kiowa News and we began serving the entire county.
Mike was very kind and very sorry to make the announcement, but explained that sales were down at the store almost $40,000 last year and increases in operations led to the decision. That’s very alarming. It needs to be news that shakes up the community. If you don’t use it, you may lose it.
Every business in our county is vulnerable to close if not supported by the community, so we understand Hometown’s need to make a change in order to survive.
When I was a kid, we had 4 grocery stores in Medicine Lodge alone. We also had the dime store and a thriving downtown. The county actually had upwards of 5 newspapers in the county a 100 years ago and now there’s only one. There were also a dozen schools scattered around the area that eventually consolidated into two.
Things have changed. Some for better and some for worse. Ronda and I will act in accordance and make those necessary adjustments to continue serving the county, but the health of our business is a reflection of the health of our county’s business community. We want to serve those interests!
Before we went to a broadsheet and printed in color in 2012, we were a tabloid. I considered doing that again, but I can’t make all the news fit! lol.
This past year was a good year despite the last couple of months. We were notified of a 20% increase in printing costs as well as a 20% increase in postage all at once. Losing our back page advertiser only complicated the situation. We knew some kind of change was inevitable.
The postal situation has been an unwelcome problem that everyone has had to adjust to. Sorting is done in Wichita these days and it takes an extra day to get the newspaper to subscribers. It has nothing to do with our fine folks at our local USPS.
To absorb these increases we raised rates ever so slightly (our first increase since 2019). We are doing more and more online to bring you information that didn’t make it by our deadline. We’ve had an online and Facebook presence since it was available and we use it. So do many of you. We’ve see it as a compliment to our hard copy.
Sure, it might be convenient to drive to your nearest Walmart to keep more money in your pocket, but consider what life in our communities would be like if we didn’t have the vital services that White’s and Hometown provide.
Use them. Read us. Don’t lose us. Don’t lose any business in Barber County. Make a decision to support all of us in 2025!

KWIBS - From  December 30, 2025 - By Kevin Noland

2025 is quickly approaching. Things were a little hard for us in 2024. You may or may not know, but I spent about 2 weeks in ICU at two different hospitals recovering from a brain injury I received over the summer.
During that event, it was unclear what my recovery would look like and I did nearly die because of the injury, but by God’s grace, I’m here pecking out my final thoughts of the year.
I’m not completely healed and I have more doctors to see and tests to run, but I feel so much better and every day is an improvement and a blessing. I have so many to thank for where I am today. I don’t want to list them out, because I might forget someone (you all know who you are)!
I’ll just thank God above and he’ll deal with the rest of you! I’m glad to be alive. It was a scary situation. Maybe you didn’t know and that’s ok. We are somewhat private people. I am so thankful for the many prayers I received during that time and for the present time as I continue my healing journey.
What an incredible holiday. I cherished every minute of chaos in our home! We had nearly 19 people come for Christmas Eve and a total of 3 Christmas gatherings.
I saw so many of you on Facebook, sharing your photos of your families - it was a wonderful thing to see. I also shared mine.
We had most of the family during the Christmas week and we had a brand new grand-baby that came to visit us for the first time! I sure enjoyed my morning coffee and snuggles with Nevaeh. She has changed so much in the last two months.
Thursday morning I got up, made some breakfast and had coffee, anxiously awaiting the newest little girl to come up the stairs with her daddy. I waited and waited, but she didn’t come until I had to leave for work on this edition to get it to press.
Ronda was surprised as she met Nicholas holding Nevaeh in the kitchen. It was almost 11 a.m.!
Having a baby is a lot of work and you take the sleep when you can get it! It was pretty cool that the two new parents got to sleep in with a two month old baby. I think Nick and Natalie were surprised that they got that much rest!
God bless and Happy New Year!!!

KWIBS - From  December 23, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

When I was just a little kid I used to love to get the JC Penny and Sears Christmas catalogues. We would also make our requests in writing as this edition carries that tradition. This week is the “Letters to Santa.”
When we were little kids my sister and I would sit down for hours, be quiet, and dog ear the pages for the items we wanted.
Secretly, I think my mom enjoyed that too because we would spend endless hours flipping through the pages and writing down what we wanted. Mom would set her limit and a deadline and we were sure to follow it!
One of my favorite gifts was a CB radio base station. Mom got me that for Christmas one year and I strung out a cable from my bedroom, out a window and to the roof so I could communicate with truckers passing by. In today’s world that would be like giving a kid’s cell phone number out at a truck stop.... not a great idea.
I went as far as to give a pretty close description of where I was broadcasting from and asked the truckers to honk when they went by Highland Cemetery if they were traveling south on 281. Many did. More probably made note that a 10 year old boy with a CB radio was nearby..
Traditionally, we’d have our Christmas Eve around the tree and then we’d head out for the Christmas Eve service. Christmas Day, we would of course, get our gifts from Santa, who ironically picked up the tab for the things mom didn’t get for us.
Mom has like a trazillion great-grandkids now and we ask her not to buy for us anymore. She did buy for many years. It’s not that we don’t like gifts, we just didn’t want her to break the bank by buying everyone a gift.
If she taught us anything, it was the importance of celebrating the birth of our Savior and giving to our children no matter how hard or how big the family got.
Our families (mine and my sister’s) are huge now and even in our home, we have to have multiple Christmas gatherings to accommodate all of our kids’ schedules.
The story of Christmas is a beautiful love story. Remember to make Christmas about Christ in your home this special time of year.
Luke 1:30-32
And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end."
Have a Blessed Christmas!

KWIBS - From  December 16, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

America held its collective breath last week as an announcement came in the involuntary manslaughter in the second degree and negligent homicide case of Jordan Neely. Neely, a 30-year-old homeless man with a history of mental illness who threatened passengers on a New York City subway train were captured on bystander video that set off weeks of protests and drew national attention.
Many, including myself, felt the prosecution of Daniel Penny was a complete injustice. Not only should Daniel Penny not have been charged, he should have been given a medal for his bravery that day. Sadly, a person lost their life. It was tragic and showed the breakdown of our institutions that are supposed to help those with mental disabilities.
A jury acquitted Penny of criminally negligent homicide after previously deadlocking on the more serious charge of manslaughter. The judge dismissed this charge.
The case divided people in New York — and beyond — in some cases along political and racial lines. Neely was Black. Penny is white. Some people viewed Penny as heartless and his actions as criminal on the day he encountered Neely, who had been shouting and acting erratically when he boarded a subway train in Manhattan on May 1, 2023. Others contend Penny was selfless in his attempt to protect fellow passengers. He’s the same age as my youngest son at 26.
Walter 'Hawk' Newsome, who said he is Jordan Neely's uncle and supporter of Black Lives Matter, threatened Penny inside the courtroom during the chaos which immediately followed the verdict.
It’s a scary world we live in. I wish there were more Daniel Penny’s out there to look out for each other. His heroism did not go unnoticed. More than $2.9 million in defense funds against the charges of second-degree manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide were raised to help him.
The collected money that doesn't go toward legal funds, which could easily cost in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, will be donated to a mental health advocacy program in New York City, according to the fund-raising page.

KWIBS - From  December 9, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

You’ve heard of “Kids Say The Funniest Things,” right?
Well, we live that life with 8 grandkids.
Somewhere around 2016 we broke from tradition of putting up our fully decorated Christmas tree. Since Nick was our last child at home and he was entering the Navy, we decided it was too much work and we gave our ornaments to the kids.
We bought a 4 foot, prelit, pre decorated tree that we put on a table. It’s cute, we thought.
In comes Ensley, our 4-year-old granddaughter. She pointed out that our tree was too small during a recent visit to grandma and grandpa’s. She also pointed out that there were no ornaments. She was quite the Christmas tree critic at this point.
Finally she exclaimed, “Grandma, your tree has no fur on it!”
I don’t know what that means, but Ronda and I both burst out laughing.
We added a second prelit tree this past week. Ensley told me that it wasn’t a “real” tree. She is correct. In fact, it’ a wire framed, prelit outdoor decoration. It’s got cool silver balls on it and we bought it after the holidays a couple of years ago. Her keen sense and observation is appreciated though.
“The tree has no fur on it,” she said again.
Trees don't have fur, but they do have trichomes, which are thread-like growths on their leaves, buds, and roots. For example, the underside of a sycamore leaf can be so fuzzy that the trichomes can be rubbed off into balls of fluff.
She did not understand that at all, so I put my phone down and we played with refrigerator magnets.
And finally, Lennox came over for a bit last week. He’s almost two and very curious of all the Christmas decorations. He grabbed an angel off of Ronda’s display and quickly beheaded it. Thank God for super-glue. She was already missing her praying hands from a previous Lennox visit.
So, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our house!
Speaking of grandkids, we are expecting our 9th in 2025. I can’t say who is expecting, because they haven’t told everyone yet!
Have a joyous holiday season!

KWIBS - From  December 2, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I wanted to do this after the holiday. There was no reason to bring up this topic and start a fight during a Thanksgiving meal, especially over my column.
I waited for emotions to calm down, to let things sink in after what was a surprise to many of us. We needed a break.
It was an epic showdown, a battle if you will. It was the tall blondish-redhaired man against the darker-skinned foe. It was perhaps a battle between generations. Some would even say good vs. evil. This battle was a toss up. Millions, if not billions of dollars were spent promoting each person. Nobody knew who would win, but everyone would be surprised by the outcome. Most of America found out early the next morning who the champion would be.
Ronda and I waited patiently in front of the TV that night waiting for the outcome. Yes, we were one of millions of people who tuned in to see the winner, knowing that half of America would not be happy. At one point, we went to bed only to get back up to see who won.
November 15, 2024 Jake Paul brought Mike Tyson out of retirement to fight for the title of “Heavy Weight Champion.”
You silly... You thought I was writing about politics. You don’t think I have learned anything from over 30 years in the publisher’s chair?
Like most of America (65 million views), I was frustrated by the streaming services of Netflix. We were actually more interested in the Lightweight Fight between Katie Taylor and Amanda Serrano. Sadly, Netflix could not handle all of the users hitting the site at once to watch, and it crashed.
We got drawn in (suckered) by all the hype of this fight. My wife even watched every episode of “Countdown,” a Netflix special on the two prize fighters. She was totally hooked on boxing.
I had even drawn my Son Joey and Daughter Bree into the viewing of the prize fight, only to frustrate them as well. They finally went to bed too, angry they had wasted an entire evening trying to watch it!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 18, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

You think aliens could just be billionairs from other planets who are just too stuck up to make contact with us?
Love him or hate him; you can’t deny he’s had an impact! Twitter becoming X, SpaceX, Tesla, Neuralink, The Boring Company, and now Politics - Elon Musk is a man who wears many hats. He’s well-known for speaking his thoughts and having a futuristic, creative, and bold outlook. Musk’s smart and entertaining remarks have generated news for various reasons.
I find him awkwardly fascinating - the things he says and does. Let’s take a look together at some of his quotes:
“If something is important enough, even if the odds are stacked against you, you should still do it.”
“You shouldn’t do things differently just because they’re different. They need to be…better.”
“Some people don’t like change, but you need to embrace change if the alternative is a disaster.”
“It’s OK to have your eggs in one basket as long as you control what happens to that basket.”
“If you get up in the morning and think the future is going to be better, it is a bright day. Otherwise, it’s not.”
“People should pursue what they’re passionate about. That will make them happier than pretty much anything else.”
“Pay attention to negative feedback, and solicit it, particularly from friends.”
“Life is too short for long-term grudges.”
“The thing that drives me is that I want to be able to think about the future and feel good about that.”
“The future will be weird.”
“I would like to die on Mars. Just not on impact.”
“It’s very important to like the people you work with; otherwise, life and your job is gonna be quite miserable.”
“I could either watch it happen or be a part of it.”
“I’d rather be optimistic and wrong than pessimistic and right.”
Long before placing himself alongside any politician, Musk is a visionary who has made a big difference in the business and tech worlds.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 11, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Years ago I had a writer who was pretty funny. We used to play constant practical jokes on each other. Usually the joke was on me.
“Oh how the turns have tabled,” or something Michael Scott from “The Office” would famously be quoted as saying.
One of his last jokes was showing up 4 hours for work late, dressed in a suit and tie, holding a brief case and holding a glass of wine. Understand, we had a strict dress code of shorts and concert tees.
Dave Fasgold, former Editor of the Premiere, left my employment under good terms surprisingly. He has been at his current job for about 15 years. He works as a Remote Pilot for SAIC at the FAA Academy in OKC.
He basically gets paid for playing a video game. He works in simulated air traffic situations. I used to joke: He flies fake airplanes and makes fake scenarios for the FAA.
On more than one occasion, Justin Rugg and I would call down to OKC’s FAA offices and prank Dave. We even drove to OKC to see his new band play and we dressed in wrestling gear with masks and stormed the stage to Dave’s surprise while he was singing. We all were in the band DorfusCrackTractor together from 2004-2011 and we played some pretty good jokes on each other over the years. We were typically known for our parody music. We even did a bit where we were rappers. One show was done wearing bath robes, another wearing Scottish Kilts, and even one dressed as Star Wars characters. We may or may not have been any good, but we were funny!
Recently, Dave posted a job opening at the OKC location and a link to apply for a position with the SAIC and naturally, I applied..... I applied under the name “Tom O’Leary,” a fictional name for fists made by Anchorman Ron Burgandy in the movie “Anchorman.”
I don’t think he gets the paper, but I sure hope he gets the application. Justin is also applying.
I clicked the box that I wanted $250,000 or more for an annual starting salary and the highest level of security clearance available. My wife says if I get the job, I will be starting immediately and moving to OKC.
You stay classy Barber County!

KWIBS - From  November 4, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

This dates me.
I love vinyl records. I grew up in the 1970s, so when I first joined Columbia House and got my first 13 vinyl records for one cent, I was hooked.
To this day, I spare no expense on my turntable(s). Ya, I have more than one. One of them, I actually paid more for than my first car. I’m a geek.
I’ve passed on that love to my two sons. Joey and Nick are both collecting their favorite music on vinyl, only their music is terrible. Bands like “Baretooth, A Day To Remember, I Prevail,” vs. “The Eagles, Pink Floyd, The Carpenters, KISS, etc.” Sorry boys, there’s just no comparison. When your music is first released on vinyl and not digital, it’s just no contest.
Now I sound like a typical parent! Teenagers these days. Wait! One of my boys is in his 30s and the other one just had his first child. That dates me as well.
Ronda and I went to Hays, KS Monday. We needed to get that brand new grand baby fix. While in Hays, Nick and I went and got hair cuts and then off to the antique mall to check out some newly acquired vinyl. NOS (new old stock) comes in about monthly at this place and I drag Nick there when I’m in town.
I didn’t find anything for me, but I did find a “Best of Linda Ronstadt” album for Ronda. She digs vinyl too and sometimes I find her with albums spread on the floor, with one on the rosewood TEAC, rocking out to her favorites.
It is crazy to me that I spend more on an old record (vinyl) than I do for my Apple Music collection for an entire month. Many of these old records have names written on the cover and have some blemishes, but I still dig them. It just sounds better and I can’t explain it. Actually, with the help of Google, I can explain it!
Some say that vinyl records sound better than digital music because they capture the original audio without compression or translation, and the grooves on the record follow the shape of the original sound waves. Personally, I think it just reminds me of when music was great.


Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  October 28, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Joey’s birthday is today! My first born son (second child of three!) is celebrating his 32nd birthday and I hope he has a root’n toot’n good time!
I’ll never forget this photo. It was taken during Peace Treaty of 1994. We had dressed him up for the occasion and cropped out of the photo was, a slice of pizza and a coke. He had a pretty bad tummy ache that day.


We had saved up our money to buy him some Roper’s (cowboy boots) and a hat to go with his overalls. Bev McCollom was in the office signing copies of “Meandering” and suggested we give him a Coke for his tummy ache. His “binky” was nearby. It’s incredible how that was 30 years ago. He and his wife, Haley, have one of their own who experienced his first Peace Treaty this year!
We’ve been to Hays a couple of times this past week. Our third child, Nick and his wife Natalie, gave birth to their first child: Nevaeh Skye Noland. Nevaeh was right at 7 lbs and was a few weeks early! Nick and I got to go shopping for baby clothes this last weekend. We were a couple of odd looking, lost fellows in Walmart with no clue what we were doing.
As election season approaches, neighborhoods across America are transforming in more ways than just the changing colors of fall. Yards are blossoming with red, blue, and everything in between, as homeowners proudly display campaign signs, turning their lawns into political statements. This colorful display, however, isn’t just a form of expression - it’s sparking debates and, in some cases, irritation among neighbors...
Medicine Lodge has not escaped the political yard sign season. My morning drive is shaken into reality when I hit the city limits and am struck with the displays of who I should vote for.
I’m so ready for this particular election cycle to be over. I hope everyone can just get along and get back to life and find some common ground when it’s all over. Kids and grandkids have been a great distraction.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  October 21, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Only a few things can derail a newspaper week. Being in a coma earlier this summer was one. That didn’t stop the paper from coming out as we have good people surrounding us.
Early Tuesday morning we got the call that our daughter-in-law was going into labor! Nick and Natalie Noland have a healthy baby girl! They live in Hays, KS, so we had to make a trip up there to see that brand new grand-baby in person!
Nevaeh Skye Noland was born at 11:32 a.m. She was rounded up to 7 lbs. and 18” long.
We scrambled to get our bags packed because “Noodle”, as we call her, came early! She was due in early November, but God had different timing and she’s here!
We came into the office briefly to get some important stuff done before we left. The distractions were many, so if I didn’t take your call, it’s because I was putting my tee shirt on backwards..... Ya, I did that while watching my wife do a happy dance all over the house.
Congratulations to Nick and Natalie! They are going to be amazing parents! We are blessed to have “Noodle” as number 8 in our tribe!!

KWIBS - From  October 14, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

My wife’s love-hate relationship with nature should be made into a television reality show.
This struggle is real.
Several months ago, she decided to buy a bag of corn to feed the deer that were hanging around our home. This turned into feeding them produce as well. This only emoldened them, as the deer told all of their friends.
Soon two deer became ten and eventually they had relayed the food news to the area turkey.
I woke one morning to about thirty turkey and a dozen deer.
That same morning the deer had contacted their raccoon friends and soon enough, all the wildlife in northern Barber County had discovered her flowers on the front porch that they dug up or devoured.
Wow, I’ve never seen her so mad.
She demanded I do something about this situation. She had even suggested I take extreme measures. I had to remind her that I didn’t believe there was exception to deer and turkey season.
The raccoons got so thirsty from all the food, they opened bottles of water that we had placed out for Peace Treaty!
I decide to put some live traps out after the second night of carnage. While I was setting traps, Ronda was tossing out apples into the field in front of our house!
Most of you “town” folk don’t understand the raccoon mentality. Once they discover your trash cans, you have to guard against their night time raids. Once they discover you have food in them, the battle begins. You don’t never them!
Tell that to this woman from Washington State.
Sheriff’s deputies in Washington’s Kitsap County frequently get calls about animals — loose livestock, problem dogs. But the 911 call they received recently from a woman being hounded by dozens of raccoons swarming her home near Poulsbo stood out.
The woman reported having had to flee her property after 50 to 100 raccoons descended upon it and were acting aggressively, said Kevin McCarty, a spokesperson for the sheriff’s office. She told deputies she started feeding a family of raccoons decades ago and it was fine until about six weeks earlier, when the number showing up went from a handful to around 100!
See what we have to look forward to Sweety?

KWIBS - From  October 7, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

“The Peace Treaty Hangover” for the entire area began late Sunday night after the powwow was concluded.
If you are new to the area, that’s what we call the week or two weeks after a pageant year.
Kudos to The City of Medicine Lodge for their behind the scenes work during Peace Treaty. You guys are amazing and we couldn’t do it without you. There are also so many people that are essential to this event and we appreciate every person that helps this celebration to continue.
As we approach the 100th celebration of pageants, we continue to evolve as an association. I’m proud of every board member past and present. You guys all did an awesome job. Ronda and I began our week with company coming in on Wednesday, September 25th. By Sunday, we had two houses full of people here to enjoy the weekend, as well as work the weekend! Thank you Nix White from San Diego, CA for jumping into Thursday’s home football game in Medicine Lodge and again at the beginning of Saturday’s parade, then performing in the pageant. Although he had seen it several times, it was his first time to be a part of the pageant and I so enjoyed having him stand beside me in the John Brown Scene, the 34 Stars scene and the Signing Scene I also want to thank my dear friend Jamie Chism from Winfield, KS. Jamie also performed in the John Brown Scene This was his second year. He’s a gunslinger involved with the Chism Trail Shooting club and I’m grateful for his willingness to be a part of our team. Jamie and his Wife Michele (Delano) Chism, come all the way from Winfield for 5 minutes in the pageant!
National Newspaper week is October 6-12. We are proud to be a part of this industry.
We shared our story September 23, 2024 in our Peace Treaty Special Edition. Through that story, a reader discovered she is a cousin of ours! Lindsay Azure contacted her friend Bree Hernandez (our daughter) and told her she saw the story in our paper and that she was also a Copeland descendent from the Mulinville, KS area. We had to be related. Upon a little investigating on her part, she did discover that her father and my father were cousins! It’s a small world! It’s always good to find new family! Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  September 30, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Sometimes my sense of humor even cracks me up. Sometimes I do things just to see if anyone is paying attention.
Last week, I thought I’d do a funny cutline heading under a photo. It read “Worsham Windows.” It’s a little play on words as Pastor Rodney Worsham had some kids around a few weeks ago getting windows washed for Peace Treaty.
Abbi Smith noticed.... she took a picture of the cutline and photo and put it on Facebook....
I had originally put “Washing Windows For Peace Treaty.” How boring is that? When I told my wife I wished it had said, “Worsham Windows,” she laughed, so I changed it just before going to press.
Speaking of Peace Treaty....
I am writing this before the weekend has even happened. I have to do this almost ever year before Peace Treaty in anticipation of getting the paper done.
As a friend of mine would say, “I’m the best unpaid help I’ve ever had.” I know, it’s dumb, but it’s an inside joke.
Peace Treaty, for most everyone I know, is a really busy time. The unpaid, unselfish people who volunteer their time are just awesome. Speaking of one, I think there needs to be a camera crew that follows Cathy Colborn around. She starts to be quite amusing a few weeks before a pageant. I was at what was supposed to be a full dress rehearsal the 23rd and 24th, only the 24th never happened. Storms rolled in right after practice the first day, shutting down Sunday’s rehearsal. Surprisingly, Cathy kept it together! (herself and the pageant). That meant that we were going to wing it! That’s not unusual for most scenes in the pageant. Cathy keeps us in line as do our awesome scene directors.
We’ll obviously give you more of the details next week on how things went. Hopefully, we had excellent weather and a good amount of people who enjoyed themselves. I’m sure we had our share of hiccups, but that’s also normal!
Be sure to check out next week’s Premiere and our Facebook page for photos of the Peace Treaty Weekend!

KWIBS - From  September 23, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Peace Treaty. It’s here!
Inside this edition is our Peace Treaty Special Section. I agonize over this for nearly 6 months in advance. My wife can tell you that I had a few sleepless nights. It’s very hard to cover everything that happens in our small town over three days and squeeze it into the edition, a short few days before the event.
One of the most important things I do is choose a cover photo. This year Cathy Colborn graciously let me use the photo of Flint Rucker on the front. I have kept it a secret from Flint because I know he’d not want to be recognized as more important than anyone else, but it tells a story.
You can see that Flint holds the highest regard and reverence for the pageant and his job as scene director of “Flags of the Empire.” This group of riders has one of the hardest jobs leading up to and including the pageant. When I remembered the photo, I knew I had to use it. Thank you Flint for all you do.
I know how hard this board has worked to bring you this awesome production.
I also know how hard Joscelyn Nittler has worked as the current president of The Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty Association. As a past president, two terms as 1st Vice President and two terms as 2nd Vice President, I can tell you that it’s not a glamorous or easy job! The last few months before a pageant are stressful. The phone never stops ringing. Emails never stop coming. Text strings continue to flow!
“Do the best you can!” Nittler said at Monday night’s board meeting. This board does and it brought back a lot of memories for me. I have served with many of the chairman and board members for years, even decades. It’s a huge sacrifice of time and service. We are the guardians of tradition, proud members of a county that holds so much history.
Joscelyn and her team of rag-tag board members have been putting the final brush strokes of an anticipated picture perfect weekend. Now if we could just convince the Good Lord above for a nice rain a day or so before the event to settle the dust!
It’s a small town tradition that is nearing it’s 100th anniversary. It seems like yesterday (in the 1990s) that I was one of the young ones on the board. Now I’m a grandpa with more than 30 years of Peace Treaty weekends behind me.
I’m most excited to see friends. That’s a huge part of the weekend, reconnecting with those who come back.
My childhood buddy, Nix White, will be here this week and plans two amazing demonstration jumps; one at the home football game just before 7 p.m. Thursday and another on Saturday just minutes before the parade at 10 a.m. It will be amazing and I appreciate his willingness to do these jumps for the event!
Have an amazing Peace Treaty weekend and be sure to visit www.peacetreaty.org for up-to-date info on our ever evolving schedule of events!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  September 16, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Bill Musgrove was one of the greats. Since my early years in Medicine Lodge Bill Musgrove was always “Daddy Bill” to me and my family.
I really got to know Bill during my days in the band “Undercover.” I was 16 years old when started playing at “Bill’s Barn” in the Grove back in the 80s. Bill, and his soon to be Wife Helen, provided a safe place for the kids to have fun Friday and sometimes Saturday dances at his barn. Sometimes we had a cover charge and sometimes Daddy Bill just handed us cash and said, “clean up after you’re done having fun!”
We did have fun and he and Helen were so good to us kids growing up. His barn parties grew and eventually got shut down because, “It was too loud,” according to a neighbor.
Decades after those legendary parties, Daddy Bill would see me around town and bring up those days along with a request that we reunite for one more show. It never happened, but we always dreamed it would.
We always tried to pay Bill tribute around Veteran’s Day. His picture pops up in my searches of past issues. Back in 2019, I had the privilege to be at the Kansas Honor Flight welcome home ceremony at Wichita’s Dwight D. Eisenehower National Airport. It was an amzing and emotional experience for everyone who came to welcome Bill home.
Bill Musgrove was one of the guys who took the last flight of 2019 and was honored to attend with Amy Axline at his side.
Ronda and I attended several birthdays over the years that honored Bill, who seemed to never get any older with the passing of time. Billy died Sunday, September 8, 2024 at Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital, surrounded by loved ones. He was 92 years old. Due to some health issues I experienced over the summer, I wasn’t even aware that he was in the hospital. It came as such a shock. I just always assumed he would outlive us all.
 

KWIBS - From  September 9, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

A plume of invisible aromas rising from wet grass after a rain shower, the smell of a freshly baked cake, or the hint of a perfume wafting in the air can all evoke strong feelings and memories.
So can the smell of burned cookies as I found out over Labor Day weekend.
All I was really trying to do was make a stale cookie soft again. Instead, I nearly created a three alarm call after sticking one in our microwave for 1 minute.
It wasn’t smelling until I opened the door after the beep. The smell and smoke billowing out was so strong and thick, Ronda woke up from her slumber on in a panic.
“What is that smell?” she rose with concern.
It smelled like burned popcorn smothered in syrup. Our smoke detector didn’t go off. Probably because we had taken the battery out of it after Ronda burned some bacon a few weeks ago so she did not judge me.
We were ready for bed, so I just left the charred remains of the cookie on the burned paper plate on the counter. I should have taken it outside, but it would have alerted every beast of the kingdom to come and dig through our trash, or it would have repelled them. It’s too late to find out now.
We went to bed, but the smell was so strong neither of us slept. I even dreamt that Ronda was up cleaning all night to rid our home of the smell.
I rolled over at 4:40 a.m. and looked at the weather on my phone app. It was 60 degrees outside. I wanted to get up, open the door and some windows to air out the smell, but it was just too cold outside and I’m not ready to do the A/C vs. heater match up yet.
I finally felt Ronda get up at around 6:30 a.m. I was refreshed knowing the aroma of freshly brewed coffee would overtake our bedroom and guide me into the living room for the news.
No such luck. I got up shortly to find that she had made it, but it was just no match for the burned cookie smell that is now engraved in my sensory neurons forever.
Smell ya later cookies...

KWIBS - From  September 2, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Blackfoot Willie.
That’s what we called him. He was a part of our staff for almost 20 years.
He passed away August 24 unexpectedly.
“What the hey,” he’d say enthusiastically each day that he rolled in to work on his amazing art work and cartoon for the paper.
“Willie” as we called him was a talented artist who used to joke that he wouldn’t be famous until he was gone from this life. I disagree, his art work has been all over the place for decades, including our banner on the front page.
I met Willie in 1992 when Ronda and I started the newspaper. He was a former carnie and we would get him to do his carnie voice for our kids while they were growing up at the newspaper. They got a kick out of him.
He came up with an idea one day and hit me up about doing a cartoon called “Yep-N-Howdy. It was about a couple of opinionated characters who were always hanging out at the truck stop drinking coffee and cussing and discussing current events. They were a hit. We used to spend hours trying to come up with a caption for them each week while he doodled them out on my desk.
One Peace Treaty he actually made Yep-N-Howdy rubber masks that his son and my daughter wore. I used an old boat from the ranch and retrofitted it on a go-kart for the parade. It was a complete hit and we even won a prize for best float. The kids drove around waiving at the crowd and acted like they were fishing from it. Willie was full of ideas, amongst other things rhyming with “hit!”
To know him was to love him. You could not win an argument with him because he would just extend the argument to a point at which you would become exhausted trying to win and quit!
“Willie” was a good father, grandfather, born again Christian and friend. He last lived in Kingman and twice this year I ran into him at White’s in Kingman. We always picked up right where we left off. God speed Blackfoot.

KWIBS - From  August 26, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Politics, whether on a local or national level, have become so well scripted I’m surprised they don’t charge for it like a Netflix docu-series.
Both presidential candidates have turned to mini-Hollywood like productions to get their messages out.
Since they are so scripted, they are able to edit out much of the meat and potatoes and give you the candidate they want you to see. Sadly, what you see, might not be what you get.
From Trump’s “I’m a better looking person than Kamala,” statement - to Kamala’s economic plan of price fixing and taxation, this is going to be a wild ride to November.
I have had a past tendency to vote independent simply out of protest, but RFK’s obsession with road kill meat and dumping a dead bear in Central Park has me pinching my nose about voting for him. (I did vote for Gary Johnson in 2016 after he pretended to have a heart attack at a forum.) It’s still funny to this day.
How are we to take anyone running for president seriously these days? Kamala is bringing back the pant suit as part of her redesign. That’s a felony fashion statement right there. If we’ve learned anything from Hillary, you don’t wear pant suits and if you go for a walk in the forest, just keep walking.
I did watch some of the DNC. Each party’s convention show cased exactly what they wanted you to hear. I think it’s up to America to make the right decision. It may not be the decision you or I would agree upon, but we have to remember (as my Government Teacher Mr. Hubka would say) it’s just one branch of our government that is a balance of three.
The other thing that I’d like to write about, but have limited space available, is the running mate Vice Presidential candidate for each party.
We didn’t used to put as much emphasis on the running mate as we do now. Now each party attacks the other’s VP nominee as though on day one, the VP might be the president. Bring on the debates!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  August 19, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

When you think things are going badly, you can always find worse things going on in the world.
Take for example the Boeing Starliner Crew Mission. It’s kind of like “Lost in Space” meets “Gilligan’s Island” at this point.
I now compare everything to this.
Burned dinner? “Well, at least it’s not as bad as the Boeing Starliner Crew Mission.”
Got a cold? “Well, at least it’s not as bad as the Boeing Starliner Crew Mission.”
Missed your flight? “Well....” Wait. That’s way better than being a part of Boeing’s Starliner Crew Mission.
The mission launched on June 5th with some problems. They announced on June 22nd, over a week after their arrival to the International Space Station that they, “weren’t stranded,” but did not have a return date.
The Starliner is broken....
Officials said they had several return scenarios they are considering if Starliner is deemed unsafe to bring Williams and Wilmore home.
One option is to launch a planned SpaceX Crew Dragon mission, Crew-9, with two astronauts on board instead of four. That would leave two seats empty for Williams and Wilmore to occupy on the Crew-9 flight home, but that would also make the astronauts part of the overall Crew-9 rotation on the International Space Station. That means Williams and Wilmore would remain on the station for an additional six months — the length of a routine mission to the ISS — pushing their return to at least February 2025. Talk about flying “standby.”
In the meantime Williams and Wilmore are integrating with the ISS’s current crew and picking up duties that both are highly trained for.
They’ll be doing routine space walks, fixing everything (except the Boeing Starliner), doing some scientific experiments (like figuring out how to make Suni’s hair look more natural in space) and I imagine drinking Tang. Lots of Tang.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  August 12, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

The elections are over for now, so I take a pause to revisit the modern-day, great philosopher Steven Wright.
This comedian has been around for as long as I can remember and always brings me a smile when I read his quotes. I thought I’d give the elections and politics a break this week. Be it known, this is not a simple search, copy and paste. This is more of a hunt, cut and insert below....
Steven Wright Quotes
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, "Where the heck is my roof?"
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?"
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
And one of my favorites: It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  August 5, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

A simple Google search can give you the answer you’re looking for, as long as you ask the question the way you want the answer.
And if you are a mega tech company like Google or Facebook, you can simply filter out the questions that you don’t want to give an answer to.
Take for consideration the recent attempt on Donald J. Trump’s life. If you try to Google search that, don’t expect the normal auto completion to take over your keyboard.
According to the Associated Press, Google attributed the situation to existing protections against autocomplete predictions associated with political violence, noting that “no manual action was taken” to suppress information about Trump.
That’s a mouthful of ca-ca....
As an old school newspaper publisher, I can tell you with all confidence that we do our best to present both sides of an issue. I will also admit that I don’t want to make my neighbors mad by printing something they may disagree with.
Every 4 years, during local elections, I nearly bite my tongue off when I read what candidates say about issues that might have relevance to the office they are seeking. Most of the time, they are just wrong! (That’s my opinion) or they actually contradict what they are saying within sentences of each other. We have candidate one doing that on a regular basis on Facebook (where you can report your own news) and it’s all I can do not to comment on their posts.
We are all human and we all have our opinions on matters. More times than not, I don’t express enough of my own opinion on local matters (Maybe you disagree!) just to avoid the conflict, but I do have my opinions as my wife will tell you. She’s like my personal editor. I think over the course of 32 years, she’s pulled a half a dozen of my columns before the paper is printed, and rightly so.
My dad always said, “Put your thoughts on paper, wait 12 hours or sleep on it, and read what you wrote again.” You’d be surprised how much you’ve changed your mind in that short amount of time.
Have a great week! Don’t forget to vote and be educated about who you vote for. Even if I disagree with you, I thank you for running for office. It’s not easy being a public servant.

KWIBS - From  July 29, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I called it.
Ronda asked me the Thursday before last, “Do you think Biden will drop out?”
I said, “Definitely, and he will before the end of the weekend.”
It was Sunday and then the unproven, untested and unacceptable Kamala Harris stepped in. She’s not won a single caucus, primary or gotten one single vote by a delegate on her own. In fact, she was the first to suspend her campaign in 2019.
It was a crazy news cycle last week. Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle was grilled before Congress last Monday about her incompetence. Tuesday morning she finally resigned, 9 days too late in my opinion.
And what about that failed attempt to assassinate Donald Trump? Some on the left at the hearings turned the inquiry into a gun control talking point. The gunman was referred to as a “Gun Nut.” It was ridiculous.
So many questions were left after Cheatle testified, but why did the failed Trump-killer use an AR as opposed to a precision rifle, like a .308 or 7.62? The left media told him the AR is the weapon of choice for everything. I stated during the initial investigation that it couldn’t be an AR, but according to the FBI, it was. A precision rifle is a more appropriate tool for the given task. The choice of rifle alone tells you he wasn't a ‘gun nut’.
Josh Brueggen elaborated on this last point - “The great downfall of the American Left is that they live in a bubble of their own making, and truly believe their own BS with little or no attempt at critical thought. The American left has been told the AR15 is a mighty weapon of war, the most powerful, accurate, deadly weapon of war ever conceived by the mind of man. This, of course, is not the truth but they believe unquestionably and so the AR15 is chosen for the attempt when many other weapons would have been far superior. The stupidity of the American Left is why Trump exists, and why he remains alive to this day.
That all said, from 130 yards an AR15 would be an acceptable weapon for the attack. The real question here is how the Secret Service managed to have a rooftop barely more than 100 yards from their protectee left wide open and not even surveilled. This performance by the security detail was so bad one could wonder if it wasn’t actually purposeful.”
 

KWIBS - From  July 22, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

“Let me get my shoes. Let me get my shoes.”
I get it. I shop for shoes once a year and I buy the same pair, usually two pair, at a time. I wear Skechers because I’m flat footed and my back hurts when I wear any other pair. I’ve even found Skechers with steel toes. I also wear Skechers’ sandals for the heal support.
So, when Former President Trump took a bullet to the ear and his first remarks were, “Let me get my shoes,” I got him. I instantly knew he was going to be ok. Secret Service hit him so hard he was knocked out of his shoes, which he probably paid more for than I paid for my Skechers.
It was one of the craziest days I can remember for quite sometime. I had just gotten home and was starting dinner Saturday when Ronda called and said, “Turn on the news, Trump just got shot.”
I was in shock like most of America. How could this happen? I don’t care what your party affiliation is, this was just the truest attack on Democracy that I can remember in my lifetime.
Instantly the left’s media said it was time to, “tone it down,” this just a day after President Biden said, "I have one job, and that’s to beat Donald Trump. I’m absolutely certain I’m the best person to be able to do that. So, we’re done talking about the debate, it’s time to put Trump in a bullseye."
It’s just disgusting and it’s too little too late. It highlights the division in our country. The party that so desperately wants to remain in power has shown their hand.
If this had been a Democratic Presidential candidate who’s life was nearly taken, there would have been rioting in the streets on Sunday, but instead Republicans went back to their homes, mowed their lawns, BBQ’d and continued to lead quiet lives, although worrying about inflation, the boarder, wars that we should not be in and how to pay for basic essentials that President Biden’s policies have made nearly impossible for the working class to afford.
I know I am pandering to the people who live in the rural areas of America and read their local paper, but I am tired of seeing this behavior from our politicians on both sides of the isle. Let’s truly tone it down and quietly be the voice of reason at the November election. God bless America.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  July 22, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I love photography. I’ve been shooting for decades. I’ve also had the amazing experience of black and white darkroom days, C41 color developing, on into the digital era.
I’ve shot sports, weddings and even one funeral (by request). That’s probably the weirdest request I’ve ever had.
Some of my friends in the hobby have turned photography into a business and actually made money at it. For me, it’s just been part of my job and goes hand in hand with the newspaper.
Back in the late 80s and early 90s I would spend 8-10 hours a week in the dark room. Ronda would help me wind film into canisters and develop film and paper prints.
One Saturday we spent a long time in the darkroom. It’s called a darkroom because, well, it’s almost completely dark – apart from a red light called a “safe light”. This is really important because it allows you to handle the light-sensitive materials necessary to make traditional darkroom prints.
Anyway....
After several hours we came out and our employees starting clapping and cheering. We didn’t get it. There’s really nothing that exciting going on in the .... wait..... now I get it.
That wasn’t what was going on in there. We were developing film. That’s not even what the kids are calling it now.
So my job in the family has been to photograph all the important events and holidays. At least it had been until I completely dropped the ball.
Over the 4th of July weekend, I sort of forgot to take pictures of my grandkids and kids enjoying fireworks. Instead of taking photos, I actually watched them.
That was new.
It was the first time in years that I missed an important holiday. Unlike the old days of paper prints, everything is now digital. On my phone and in the “could” are 18,973 photos and 1,990 videos. I probably have enough. I catch myself going through them and getting a few hundred photos in, deleting about half before I get tired of looking at them!

KWIBS - From  July 8, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I’m a little behind commenting on the presidential debate. 8
Somehow — contrary to expectations, our current President was able to physically walk onstage, unassisted, and find his place at one of the podiums, for a debate with his challenger, former President Donald Trump.
It’s not clear that it was a smart idea on President Biden’s part, however. But it provided many comedians some priceless comedy material.
The President had reportedly sequestered himself at Camp David for a full week, to prepare for Thursday’s debate, rehearsing his answers, and participating in mock debates, with his personal lawyer, Bob Bauer, playing the part of Trump. Oh, and some 16 debate experts.
Every topic he was asked about Thursday, he had prepared answers for.
Apparently, a week, wasted, although it prepared him to stand for 90 minutes.
To be completely honest, I didn’t have time to watch the entire Presidential debate on Thursday. I had some important things to do. For example, my toenails needed trimming. I had a broken one.
Now that I think about it, I think I actually wanted a reason to miss the debate, because I imagined how I would feel afterwards.
But the next day, I felt bad about missing it. I view myself as a good citizen, and I normally take my civic responsibilities seriously… one of which is voting for President every four years. You’d think something that happened only every four years would be less agonizing than a similarly painful occurrence that happens, say, every day, or every week. But for some reason, civic responsibility is especially painful this year.
Anyway, on Friday morning, with my toenail freshly trimmed — I did a search on YouTube for “after the debate” commentaries. Preferably by comedians.
You have to laugh about politics, in 2024, to keep from crying, or breaking something over your own head.

KWIBS - From  July 1, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

So much to do, so little energy to do it!
The heat has been insane and for those of you who work out in it full time, I salute you and caution you to keep drinking water.
Normally, I am working part time outdoors and part time indoors, but due to recent circumstances, I am relying on the good will of others to help me get my work done.
There are still too many people to thank for helping me get things done at the ranch and office, but know I appreciate you all!
About all I was up for was bringing our help some water. I ventured out on Saturday with a thermos of ice water and two Dixie Cups. Ronda drove and we parked in the shade. My sunburned friend Jamie and Son-in-law Miguel were both excited to see us. It’s amazing how good water tastes when it’s 100+ degrees outside. I was shot after about 10 minutes.
I must be feeling better because the guilt is setting in. I know I have been slow to respond to my emails and phone calls, but it has been overwhelming.
My attention has shifted to my daughter and her family. She had scheduled surgery for Tuesday, June 25th (well before I had my two hospital stays). She will be down a few weeks. My super human wife has stepped up to take care of two of the grand kids and is still caring for me as well. She is at home resting under the care of her amazing husband, Miguel, who has also been stepping up and doing some of my work at the lake and ranch.
I have to admit that I am going a little stir crazy. I realize my limitations, but my world revolves around 1,800 sq/ft of my home and my office for a few hours a day while I play catch up.
I am considering free-lancing as a critic/reviewer for Netflix. I’ve seen about every new series that interests me. I might start small with reviews on my Facebook page.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  June 24, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

OK, there’s something to be said about being in a coma. It isn’t great.
After being in a drug induced coma for almost ten straight days, I read in the news that Graceland had filed an emergency injunction because it had a lien against it. It’s a true story.
I’d like to just shout out to everyone who took the time to send out prayers for me and Ronda Noland during our my episode, that I have little memory of. Although, I remember some of you coming to visit me in the hospital, those memories are very scattered. I had hundreds of emails, voicemails, texts, Facebook posts and instant messenger requests that I simply could not keep up with.
I have a long recovery and have not met with my neurologist to see how we move foreword. I’m sorry that I haven’t reached back out to everyone who reached out to me, but it has been overwhelming to keep up.
I am just grateful for the opportunity to still be around for right now! Please continue to pray so we receive answer as to what’s going on inside my head. I want to thank the good Lord above for my wife, who has taken a lot of time to care for me. I’m not the best patient, nor do I have much patience!
Thank You Ronda, Doris Sorg, Tammy Lonker and Tim for publishing the last three issues in my absence! Tammy did an exception job of figuring out PageMaker (the program we use to build pages). It’s not an easy program, but she is so intelligent and always up for a challenge.
When life throws you a curve ball... BUNT! That’s about all we could do the last few weeks. Fortunately, there are people surrounding me that care about community journalism. I’m trying to slow down and show people why it is that I do things the way I do them. I am a horrible teacher. I like to just take charge and get things done.
Ecclesiastes 4:9: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:
Ecclesiastes 4:10:10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up! Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  May 27, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I’d like to make a bold, assumption about the death of Iran’s President Ebrahim Raisi.
Early Monday morning, last week, I read the news about the “hard landing” that the President of Iran, also known as “The Butcher of Tehran” and some of his cabinet were involved in.
I told my wife Monday afternoon, when he was confirmed dead, “The [Supreme Leader] Ayatollah Ali Khamenei had him killed.”
What? I’ll explain.
Raisi, who died in that helicopter crash Sunday, was seen as a prime candidate to succeed the 85-year-old supreme leader, and his death makes it more likely that the job could eventually go to Khamenei’s son.
The supreme leader appoints half of the 12-member Guardian Council, a clerical body that vets candidates for president, parliament and the Assembly of Experts, an elected body of jurists in charge of choosing the supreme leader.
After Raisi’s death, in accordance with Iran’s constitution, Vice President Mohammad Mokhber, a relative unknown, became acting president, with elections mandated within 50 days. That vote will likely be carefully managed to produce a president who maintains the status quo.
On April 1, an Israeli air strike on the Iranian consulate in Damascus killed seven Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps commanders, including two generals. Two weeks later, Iran retaliated with a barrage of drones and missiles, almost all of which were intercepted. Israel swiftly responded with its own drone and missile attack on an airbase in Iran that destroyed part of an S-300 long-range air defense system.
It was an embarrassment to the Iranian leadership and I believe, they had Raisi killed for it. Call me a “tin foil hat” conspiracy nut, but it makes perfect sense, at least to me.
Israel made a surgical strike against an attack on its soil by a country who has supported a proxy war by Hamas and other bad characters in the Middle East for decades. It was a clear message to her enemies, don’t mess with Israel. I believe Iran just did a “house keeping” mission.

KWIBS - From  May 20, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

RIP ducks.
Yep, the day after my column came out, our last two ducks lost their lives to the raccoon Mafia.
I was sitting on the couch watching the news when I decided to go feed them and put them up for the night.
Feathers everywhere.
Like I said, they weren’t very smart, in fact, ducks might be the dumbest creatures on the planet.
But I loved them.
I felt like John Wick after the Russian gangsters killed his puppy.
I was ready to take my revenge. The current score was ducks - 0 Raccoons - 5. I had managed to catch one raccoon, a possum and a skunk.
The skunk surprised me. I gently euthanized it in the cage using an M&P AR15. I grabbed the cage to dump it right before a weekend trip we were taking to go see friends in Winfield.
The skunk wasn’t dead. I had not euthanized it. I had made it really, really mad. He sprayed me.
We were all packed and ready to go. I peeled off my clothes and shoes on the front porch and ran in to change. Then I called our friends and told them we were going to be about an hour later than we expected. I had to “freshen up a bit.”
All the way there Ronda kept looking at me and pinching her nose. By this time, I could not smell myself. When we pulled into the driveway of our friends’ house, Ronda convinced me to “air out a little” in my buddy’s garage.
Now, if you are thinking that I am some crazy animal person, well I might be, but my friend Jamie is crazier. He’s had pet possums in his house and recently rescued a baby soft-shell turtle that is now a full sized turtle in a 100 gallon fish tank in his living room. He also found a smashed turtle in the road, bought fiber glass and repaired his shell. He nursed it back to health and after a few weeks, released it back into the wild.
I should get a pet turtle....

KWIBS - From  May 13, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Several weeks ago, my grandsons walked to Tractor Supply and bought ducks and chicken hens.
They carefully raised them (and overfed them). They grew into beautiful pooping machines that drove my daughter crazy.
I had joked, mind you, joked, that they could raise the ducks and when they were tired of them, they could bring them to our pond and release them into nature.
Little did I know they would be loading them in the back of my son-in-laws trucks a couple of weeks ago and dumping them off with a bag of duck food. We were now duck farmers.
They were funny, curious and really, really dumb. They couldn’t swim either. We tried throwing them in the pond, but they nearly drowned, freaked out and ran back up on the shore. I picked out the leader. He was a big white aggressive duck who wanted fed constantly. He was a fat bird.
He was also the first to die. We started with 5 ducks and after the first night, the duck club was without its leader. Thankfully, another big fat white duck stepped up to the plate and took over as leader.
We knew we had to provide them shelter from the raccoons. The kids brought out their pen the next day and we herded our remaining ducks inside before dark. The “coons” are crafty little jerks and unlike ducks, are very smart. The coons kept coming at us, night after night with their fence hammers, wire cutters and torches to dismantle the ducks’ pen. Each evening, they were getting more and more aggressive and were beginning to tear away at the cage.
Finally Monday morning, we went out to feed the ducks and walked up to what was an obvious crime scene. There were feathers and some blood everywhere. All the remaining ducks were gone. Or where they?
We went to get in the truck to head to work and we found two hiding in front of our car and up against the garage. The coons had taken one black duck and the other white (former) leader. They saw us and started honking at us. I had translated this into their story about how the trash pandas had returned and killed their friends and they no longer felt safe over there, evident by them not wanting to go back to the pen and their persistent honking.
I got out the staple gun and repaired the pen that looked like it was built by a preschool shop class. We were expecting big storms and I was really worried that if the coons didn’t get them, the storm might. I devised a plan to fix all the holes and put an aluminum boat on top of the pen and parked my tractor with the bucket on top of that to keep it from blowing off in the event of inclement weather.
That night we managed to dodge the storms, but the raccoons were back and they brought reinforcements. I had a little surprise for them though! I had my gun by the door and grabbed it and picked off the biggest one standing on top of the wood pile. Everyone else fled. The ducks cheered with joy, or it sounded that way to me.
The coons came back the next night and the next. I put live traps out, but they were too big to get caught in them. I sat on the porch with my gun for half the night only firing 4 warning shots.
As of this writing, we still have two ducks. I don’t know for how long, but I’m doing all I can to protect them. I don’t know why! Ronda says that I’m their leader now.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  May 6, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

It’s been over 35 years since I walked across the stage at MLHS to receive my diploma from Principal Bud Moore.
Since that time, I’ve reported on at least two generations of graduates from Barber County Schools. What an honor it is to graduate from high school.
Seniors, there will be times when the road seems bumpy, but never give up. Stay the course and the destination will be even sweeter. I know you can do it!
Congratulations to all of our graduates for accomplishing one of many great things to come in your lives!
Take a read on the front page story about “Chris” Goering. What an amazing success story from one of our local grads. I’d like to take partial credit for his success, but that’s me being silly. Chris earned it. He used to work for us at the newspaper back in the 1990s. He’s a prodigy, a true success story and I still consider him a great friend.

KWIBS - From  April 29, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Fun Fact....
The Constitution is very clear on Impeachment. To impeach someone requires both houses of Congress to act independently of the other. The House of Representatives, based upon the number of people living within each state, is the people’s representative; the Senate, limited to only two representatives regardless of population, represents the state. The House alone—therefore the people—formulates the impeachable offenses. When the House delivers the impeachable offenses the accused is impeached. In the case against Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas two articles of impeachable were delivered: one Mayorkas’s “Willful and systemic refusal to comply with the law,” and two his, “breach of public trust.” Mayorkas perjured himself with many false statements under oath to Congress.
The Senate must then try the accused on only these two offenses either convicting or acquitting him. President Trump was impeached twice by the House and acquitted twice by the Senate. But Senate Democrats unanimously in each article voted not to follow the Constitution. They voted not to try Mayorkas. This is not an acquittal. Nowhere in the Constitution is a trial optional. The people spoke when the articles were delivered to the Senate. The Senate’s only option is to try the accused. Both houses are conjoined in this function: one accuses, one tries.
The border is not secure.
Undocumented (illegals) are being turned loose into our country. Many have court dates that are years away and most likely won’t show up.
Many of the people coming across the border are smuggling Carfentanil that are killing our citizens and is being manufactured by cartel with China’s help. They are also sex trafficing women and children. Some are tied to terrorism.
We impeach over a phone call, but not when we are being invaded by foreign countries.

KWIBS - From  April 22, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
I’m not sure who was the first person to say it, but it was true this week.
On Monday, we paid our taxes. On Tuesday, we lost a friend and classmate. MLHS 1988 graduate Terry Bryan passed away after a short battle with cancer. He was the son of Jerry and Nora Bryan.
Our class is a close group of people that have stuck together through thick and thin. When we heard Terry was sick, I reached out to his Aunt and Uncle Steve and Suellen Bryan. They confirmed what we were all fearing. That Terry had a very short time left. Cancer treatments had stopped and he was dying.
I went up to the hospice center in Wichita on April 1st. It was the longest walk of my life. Seriously, it was on the other side of St. Francis and on the 8th floor. I took the wrong elevator.
I found Terry and his girlfriend and her family, and I was welcomed in to say my good-byes. I was really praying to see a miracle, but the news was not good and Terry had accepted that. We laughed, cried and prayed together.
We were just kids not long ago. I spent 13 years in our public school system with him. When I look at my classmates, I still see them as silly kids still trying to grow up.
One of my fondest and funniest memories of Terry was from our junior year in high school. Terry, Nix White, me and my future wife Ronda (Vick) were all a part of the high school play “Bye Bye Birdie”. Nix and Ronda had the leads and a duet together. I was working the stage crew and I don’t even remember what Terry was doing there, other than distracting my girlfriend at the time.
Off of the stage was a small room where Terry and Ronda decided to try their luck at throwing and catching crackers in their mouths from across the room. They got pretty good at it. So good, Ronda missed her cue and ended up leaving Nix on stage with no singing partner. We’ve laughed about that for years. Rest easy my friend. No more pain. No more suffering. Our prayers go out for his family during this time of loss.

KWIBS - From  April 15, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

As a professed nerd, I did pause last Monday, April 8th for the eclipse.
This was a solar eclipse, not a lunar.
While solar eclipses happen during new Moon, lunar eclipses occur when the Moon is full, so it aligns opposite the Sun in our sky. The Moon passes through Earth's shadow. In a total eclipse, the entire lunar disk turns orange or red. In a partial eclipse, Earth's inner shadow covers only a portion of the Moon. When the sun moves between the Earth and our Moon, well, we would all die.
While an average of two solar eclipses happen every year, a particular spot on Earth is only in the path of totality every 375 years on average, some astronomer reported. I did not fact check him or her.
“The View” co-host Sunny Hostin blamed Monday's solar eclipse, the previous Friday's earthquake in New York and the expected cicada breeding season on “climate change.” “All those things together would maybe lead one to believe that either climate change exists or something is really going on,” she said Monday. Shortly after that, she spontaneously combusted on national TV as a result of her pants catching on fire; most likely due to climate change, but more likely her being a big fat liar.
If it were 200 years ago, an earthquake followed by an eclipse would have been the perfect time to accuse her of being a witch.
I ordered my glasses back in January, in anticipation of a run on them towards the date. I learned later that there were many pair available around town, but in 2017, I was in line to buy the last pair and the person in front of me bought them. I wasn’t going to be caught off guard 7 years later when I couldn’t find the ones I finally got in 2017.
2017 turned into a really fun event when our UPS guy, Cory, showed up to deliver a package. We kidnapped him for a bit and gave him a pair of glasses to watch. I happened to see him the Thursday before this year’s eclipse and invited him out. He shot me a text about 20 minutes before the start of it and couldn’t come because of obligatory deliveries. I’m betting a bunch of solar eclipse glasses were on his truck.
My Cousin Michelle (Noland) Houpt lives in Fort Worth, TX. I had texted her over the weekend asking if she was going to watch it. She had little idea of what she was about to see. During the eclipse she texted, “That was so awesome! It got so dark here!”
A fun part of experiencing an eclipse can be watching the people around you. They may yell, they scream, they cry, they hug each other, and that’s because it’s such an amazingly beautiful event. Everyone should see at least one in their life, because they’re just so spectacular. They are emotion-evoking natural events.
Some people even planned their weddings around it! Towns in Ohio and Arkansas located within the path of totality hosted mass wedding ceremonies for couples who wanted to seize the moment and wed during the eclipse.
Nobody else in my family really cares about the eclipse. It happened that my sister-in-law was still in town from Albuquerque, NM and she seemed somewhat interested. My daughter and my wife were moderately impressed. I was a cosmic kid in a space candy store. If only I had bought Moon Pies.....
I had already prepared my Apple Music playlist. It was mostly Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon.” From 12:35 p.m. - 2 p.m. I wrestled my wife and daughter over the volume level at which I wanted to listen to, all the while hearing, “It’s too loud. We can’t talk.” - Which was the entire reason for the music being so loud!
“Play Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler,” one family begged.
NO!
I had to remind them that it was not a total eclipse and I didn’t like Bonnie Tyler, and it was MY eclipse party. I got to choose the music. Then, before it was finished, everyone wanted to leave “MY” eclipse party! The nerve!
My boy called me and asked, “Dad, can you explain the eclipse to me?” I said, “no sun.”
It was a spectacular event to see, although we were not in the path of totality (closer to 85%) and won’t see another event like this until 2044, I’m already planning for the event and will probably go somewhere, alone, to see it!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 8, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

After over 100 calls, texts, messengers, Facebook comments and phone calls, I survived April 1, 2024.
No lynch mob (probably thought up by Doris Sorg) came to string me up. I only had one or two angry people that didn’t find my April Fools joke funny.
If you missed it, I had a story on last week’s front page that Donald Trump was coming to Medicine Lodge to do a 30 minute rally at the Lincoln Library.
People actually fell for it, even though in my column on the next page explained it was an April Fools joke. When I say people fell for it, I mean really fell for it.
My apologies to Yvonne Miller of the Alva Newsgram who wanted to be a part of the “press pool” for the event. She called Doris at my suggestion, to see if there would be room for her. Doris had not seen the newspaper yet and had no idea what she was talking about.
“You got me. Happy April Fools day,” was her reply after she figured it out.
I had written another story originally. This story was to inform everyone in Medicine Lodge to flush their toilets during the noon whistle to assist in helping flush the city’s sewer system out.
I pulled it when I thought about what kind of damage that might cause the city’s sewer system!
I love a good prank on April Fools, but I certainly don’t want to hurt anyone or damage anything. So here’s a list of those I wish to apologize to:
Obviously, Doris Sorg. My wife said I should send her flowers. She worked for us for 17 1/2 years, so I’m sure after she calms down we’ll have a good laugh about this and all the other pranks I played on her for years.
Emergency Management and local law enforcement. “We have to get ahead of this. I don’t know why the secret service did not call us. We need to prepare for civil unrest and possible riots,” stated one individual who called me and texted me multiple times before I finally told him to get more information on page 2 (my column explaining it was all just a joke).
To the Sharon Coop coffee crew. I’m glad you all didn’t come early and stand in line for hours to see “45”.
To an old friend who drove almost two hours before he figured out it was a joke, but later texted me and said, “You owe me a tank of gas.”
To my Dear friend Leroy. I’m sorry I got you excited and you drove all the way in to town only to find out, I was pranking everyone. He reminded me about “paybacks”.
And to all the “48 Hour” online subscriptions I got last week at $2.99. I hope you enjoyed your short time with us! I made enough money to take my wife out for dinner!
Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From  April 1, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

As President Abraham Lincoln stated, “Don’t believe everything you read on the internet or in our newspaper.”
April 1st may come around every year, but it only falls on a Monday a few times in the past 32 years we’ve been in business.
I love a good April fools joke. Pete Meador and I lived for this day. God rest his soul. Knowing Pete, he would have prearranged a joke for me before his passing last year.
It’s been a long time since my last major “fake news” story on the front page. In fact Xie Gallagher was still living and working at the Treasurer’s office during my last major joke.
I had written a story of a time capsule that was discovered when they tore out the parking lot at the courthouse and were preparing to repave it.
I had photo shopped some neat items including the original name of the county seat, “Medicine Log”, named after wood found along the Medicine River that was believed to have healing properties, first discovered by Native Americans.
I had written that the time capsule was on display in the courthouse and several people actually went to see the spectacle. Xie was furiously running all over the courthouse putting up signs that the capsule at been moved to our office, but we had a sign on the door that said it was moved to the county road and bridge office.
I had one sweet older lady come in and slap my hand after she realized she had been driving all over town looking for the fake time capsule, when I finally got the feeling back in my hand, I explained it was an “April Fools” joke.
I’ve done others, like print a page upside down, fake ads for things for sale, dirt cheap, at Pete Meador’s house, but today, I decided to Make Medicine Lodge Great Again!
As a precaution, I will remain hidden for a few days because Doris Sorg is going to kill me.
I hope by now, you’ve figured out that I’m pranking everyone with a front page article.
Happy April Fools

KWIBS - From  March 25, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Through the years, I have written about 1,700 columns. I find that people are curious about the writing process. So, this week be a regular KWIBS columns; it will be a column about humor. Here are some of the most common questions I get.
Do you write about things that really happened, or do you make all this stuff up?
You know how sometimes a movie begins with this phrase, inspired by a true story? That’s pretty much like my column. The idea is always based on something real. Last week I read that Richard Simmons wrote he was dying. One day after concerning fans with a startling social media post in which he said he was "dying," Richard Simmons revealed he's been diagnosed with skin cancer. He’s probably not dying of that, in fact he said, ‘actually, we’re all dying’, but the irony was, I had the same type of skin cancer removed from my hand last week. Well, that was just disturbing. I went home, dug out an old VCR and sweat to the oldies while I waited for my lab results.

Have people ever been angry at you for a column you wrote? Yes. Here’s an example:
Several years ago, I wrote about why my wife never mows the lawn. She has twice over the years and both times she caught the yard on fire, and once, even my Mustang. I wrote about it and she got angry and made me delete it. Once upon a time.
I also made the postman mad once because I used the phrase in my column, “..... and I about went postal on him.”

You make fun of your wife, Ronda. Is she OK with that?
The truth is that in most of my columns, I make fun of myself, not her. She does edit my columns.

Do you ever run out of funny ideas?
I did this week. That’s why you are reading this column.

KWIBS - From  March 18, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

You can’t make this up...
Male workers at a Japanese telecommunication firm have been given the rare opportunity to experience simulated menstrual pain.
The pain was generated through a “perionoid” device that sent electric signals via pads placed in the lower abdominal region, to induce the cramping sensation experienced by women during their period.
“It hurts. Oh my goodness!” 26-year-old Exeo employee Masaya Shibasaki exclaims in a video of the experiment, as he winces in pain.
The device was jointly developed by researchers at Nara Women’s University and start-up Osaka Heat Cool.
Well of course it was made by women. Men make dumb stuff too though, but not to purposely cause pain. For example: The Snuggie, antenna balls, fuzzy dice, the Pocket Fisherman and My Pillow, My Slippers, MY ANYTHING - those are painful commercials to watch. I could go on, but back to male period pain.
“I couldn’t move. It hurt to the point where I couldn’t stand,” Mr Shibasaki said afterwards. “I now understand women have to work while fighting this pain every month. It’s actually amazing how women can do that. I really respect them.”
You know that guy’s wife was within earshot.
"We hope those who experienced [menstrual pain] today go back to their workplace and speak about how they felt, and spread their understanding," said Exeo public relations officer Maki Ogura.
Listen ladies, we know you’re in pain and speaking for all men, I don’t want to know what your period feels like. If men actually had them, we’d call them exclamation points, not periods because we are week creatures and have to make a bigger statement when in pain.
Woman are strong and that’s whey they have periods, babies, giant purses with stuff in them and long, razor-sharp fingernails to inflict great pain on men!
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  March 11, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

You’ve heard it said that things these days cost an arm and a leg?
Prices of goods and services have just gotten ridiculous in the past four years (not saying who’s policies have caused this so as to not offend any of my readers.)
I don’t think I’d want to pay with an arm or a leg. I’m sort of using those. Maybe a baby toe or my appendix would be something I’d pay with, but it would have to be something really important that I could not afford to pay cash for.
I need my arms and legs. If I sold an arm and a leg, I wouldn’t be able to sell pictures of my feet on the internet. Now, you might be wondering, how great are my feet that people are willing to pay for pictures of them? They’re not — they’re actually pretty gross. But some people are into that and I have to keep that option open in case I get desperate someday and have to resort to it.
Have you ever stopped and noticed the product you bought a while ago being smaller now than it was before? Well, perhaps you weren’t dreaming when you thought that. It’s obvious with recent inflation that has touched nearly everything you buy.
Shrinkflation is a new term being floated around different media sources created by the guy who said to “get off my lawn.” I know this is true and is happening. The other day I opened a packet of lime salt and there was nothing in it. I’m not kidding.
I actually read complaints from consumers about things being smaller. One even showed his Big Mac that had a thicker pickle on it than the beef, or whatever is in there.
So, things are costing about an “arm and a leg” these days.
I recently did a bond (if you didn’t know, I have been a bondsman for 20 years) and this guy asked me, “Is this going to cost me an arm and a leg?”
I told him probably not. He said, “That’s good, because I only have one leg.”
He was telling me the truth about that. So I took a kidney instead and it’s still in my freezer. (I’m kidding. I got $40k for it on the internet....)

KWIBS - From  March 4, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Maybe I’m no rocket scientist, but I am fascinated at watching rocket launches.
As you can imagine I watched SpaceX launch the Houston-based Intuitive Machines' lander. It is now the first commercial spacecraft to ever land on the surface of the moon, and the first American craft to do so since NASA's final Apollo mission in 1972.
For the first time in more than five decades, Americans have returned to the moon.
Well, American robots, at least.
There’s only one problem. It didn’t land like it was supposed to. In fact, like a scared goat, it tipped over on its side.
The lunar landing is the first by an American-built spacecraft since NASA's final Apollo mission in 1972.
The Odysseus luner lander has six legs. One tripped over a rock and fell over. In January, Pittsburgh-based aerospace company Astrobotic sent its Peregrine lander on a doomed mission to the moon that ended with the spacecraft burning up in Earth's atmosphere days later.
Let’s go back to the Apollo mission. The Apollo 17, U.S. crewed spaceflight to the moon, launched on December 7, 1972, and successfully concluded on December 19, 1972. It was the final flight of the Apollo program, and Apollo 17 astronauts Eugene Cernan and Harrison Schmitt were the last humans to walk on the moon.
Or so we are supposed to believe! Now, I’ve never been a conspiracy nut, but how the heck can humans pull this off, but robots can’t?
The moon landings were faked. Apollo 11 didn't happen. Humans never set foot on the moon. Heard all this before?
The moon landings were not a hoax. Apollo 11 did happen. Humans really did set foot on the moon. We have countless images, videos, lunar samples and scientific data to prove it.
In fact, if I were a resident of the moon, I’d be mad about all the trash we’ve left up there. Nobody is picking up after us and, a few other countries that shot crap to the moon. Let’s be good stewards of the moon and send a garbage truck up there.

KWIBS - From  February 26, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t really care if you like him, or hate him, Trump seems to be a brilliant mind.
Last week 45 released his own sneaker line.
Nobody actually knows who manufactures his shoes, but the first 1,000 pair of the shoes, called "The Never Surrender High-Top Sneaker," sold out for $399 a pair. They were released last week at “Sneaker Con”. It’s like Comic Con, but funnier.
I’m sure Trump isn’t back in the shed sewing these himself, but I don’t own any shoes that cost me more than $100.
I’m not knocking his ideas. He’s iconically known for his branding abilities. I’m sure he could sell Trump igloos to Eskimos. At least 10 of the gold sneakers were "randomly autographed by Trump," according to the website. Due to global warming Trump’s igloo line will not have autographs, less they melt away.
For clarification, Trump Sneakers are not designed, manufactured, distributed or sold by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of their respective affiliates or principals," it notes.
So the simple math is, the shoes grossed about $400,000. It’s still nothing to pinch your nose over, unless he jogged in every pair barefoot.
These shoes are already being sold on the secondary market and places like ebay fetching up to $7,500 a pair. Folks, that’s a used car price!
Let’s face it, if you’ve seen these, they are hideous. Gold sides, laces, red soles and red, white and blue high tops are not a good look unless you’ll also be wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants and sporting a cape.
If you’re wondering, no, I did not buy a pair. I would have though! It sounds like people want them and will pay a high price for them. I once went into a thrift shop in Hays, KS and found an AR-15, 30 Round “Trump” magazine that was perfect for $15. I’ve already had a $100 offer on it. Seems like for many it was a golden opportunity of a purchase!

KWIBS - From  February 19, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

My dad has been gone for ten years now, but I learned so much from him. It’s only later in life that things pop into my head.
I can take apart a carburetor, clean it and put it back on just about anything I’ve tried to take a carburetor off of. I’ve passed that on to at least one of my sons.
One of my dad’s favorite sayings was, “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” It’s a quote by Oscar Wilde.
That happened recently and was reported back to me. I’ve had many opportunities to respond, lash out, correct the misinformation, turn it around and point out that they are wrong in so many aspects.
I had the opportunity to do that in a story in our own newspaper, but I did not. My dad also said, “you don’t (explosive) where you eat.” If you can’t figure that out, give me a shout.
At the gentle nudge of my lovely wife, I haven’t responded. I consider some of these people my friends and colleagues, but it’s probably better left unsaid, unless they want to hear it. lol...
Another quote I love is from Thomas Jefferson, “Were it left to me to decide if we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.”
I’m in no way of advocating getting rid of government, but I do feel that government is getting too big and too intrusive into our lives.
I believe the first ten amendments to our constitution were carefully crafted by the founders. In recent years the 1st (freedom of religion, speech and the press, right to protest and assemble PEACEFULLY) and 2nd (the right of the people to keep and bear arms) have been viciously challenged. Without those first two, the rest go to the wayside.
I’m a registered Republican, but consider myself a Libertarian, meaning basically the idea of individual liberties, responsibility/self-ownership, and free choice. The government should have less control over me and you and should let us be responsible for ourselves without the involvement of the government.

KWIBS - From  February 12, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I always joke that Valentine’s Day is a made up holiday by the greeting card and chocolate companies.
Valentine’s Day which is an Honoring of Saint Valentine actually dates back to 3rd century Rome. He is also a patron saint of Terni, epilepsy and beekeepers. He was executed and considered a martyr.... That doesn’t sound romantic, but whatever....
So there’s nothing wrong with honoring the one you love on Valentine’s Day. I would not recommend getting that special someone bees or wishing epilepsy on them, but chocolates and greeting cards are very acceptable.
There are some very famous quotes and sayings revolving around Valentine’s Day.
Grouch Marx said, “I was married by a judge. I should’ve asked for a jury.”
Roseanne Barr was quoted saying, "You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you’re married to a couch that burps."
Concerning love in general, Ralphie May said, "As a man in a relationship, you have two choices: You can be right, or you can be happy." I would add, “You have the right to remain silent,” but that never worked for me.
It’s rumored that Socrates said, "By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
I didn’t do enough research to tell you why we often give the symbol of a heart for love at Valentines. I mean, here's an idea: Let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all!
Though all of this is just for fun, I do have a special Valentine. She’s been mine for 37 years and given me three amazing children and in turn, seven beautiful grandchildren and hopefully, many more. I love you Ronda. Happy Valentine’s Day or as we refer to it as, “steak and......”
Ya, no way, I’m going there....
 

KWIBS - From  February 5, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

In our 35 yeras of publication, this issue was the most difficult to produce.
I was without a computer for the better part of the week while my IT guy got me something up and running to get me by for this issue. A new computer should be up and running sometime this week, but it will be like starting over, again.
The worst part is, I have no spell check installed. Believe it or not, I’m not a good speller! So, if you find a bunch of mistakes in this paper, please just laugh to yourself and move on!
The death of my last computer also meant that our last online post at www.gyphillpremiere.com vanished and if you sent me an email between January 25 - February 1, there’s a chance it got overlooked, lost or simply deleted by the gremlins in the machine.
Computers are a necessary evil in my business, but I’m probably going to use my old machine as target practice after my new one comes in! In the meantime, I’m doing my best at being careful what I spell!

KWIBS - From  January 29, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve done a decent job over the years staying up with technology.
That’s about to end, I fear.
I’m finding that even in my early 50s, I’m having to have help learning new things and keeping up with the ever changing technology like smart phones and TVs.
Twenty years ago, TVs were giant and heavy. You had to either have several friends help you move your console TV or be a body builder. For those of you who don’t know what a console TV was, use your smart phone and look them up. Some were so big they were considered furniture with built in 8 track, turn tables and AM/FM radio. Again, those who don’t know what those are, look them up on your smart phone. Now TVs as large as 80” can be easily carried by two people, or one guy with a wing span of a Pterodactyl.
Technology has got thinner, lighter, more portable and more accessible. The problem is it's also made us lazier and in most cases fatter too. Technology shrinks as we increase in belt sizes.
Speaking of smart phones, my first cellular phone was a bag phone that weighed about 14 pounds and had a long cable with a giant magnetic antenna that you stuck out your window and smacked it to the top of the roof of your car. If you were lucky, you could make a phone call at about a buck a minute.
Now you can buy a new cell phone that cost more than my first car and it will do everything you never wanted it to do and sometimes you can actually make a phone call with it!
We recently ditched Satellite TV for streaming. It’s been a couple of months now and when we get home from work, it usually takes us as long to find the news as it does to fix dinner.
Don’t even get me started on computers. I used to sell and service them before I stopped keeping up with all the new software. Every time I get a new computer (usually every 5 years), I find out my software won’t work on it and I have to “trick” the computer to operate it. Yes, I’m still trying to figure out Office 2000.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  January 22, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

One of my best friends in the whole world has been a California resident since he left Medicine Lodge in 1988.
That’s about to change, thanks to the ridiculously high tax rates, crime, immigration policies and governmental interference in his family’s life and his business.
Where’s he going? Texas. Business and all.
California is a beautiful state full of crazy laws. They are even considering banning tackle football for kids under 12 years old, but will allow them to have gender reassignment without consent of their parents. That’s just one crazy thing.
Here’s some crazy laws that are on the books:
If you’re a lady planning on running some early-morning errands in California, make sure you’re fully dressed before you leave the house. Throughout the state of California, it’s illegal for women to drive while wearing housecoats. Men remain free to venture out in whatever attire best suits them. Also, if you’re a prostitute, you can just “hang” out near schools now freely without fear of being arrested.
The people of Blythe, California, take the concept of cowboy boots very seriously. It’s illegal to wear cowboy boots unless you own at least two cows. After all, they’re not called “cute with a sundress boots,” people! One work around would be to keep two full cows in your freezer(s) I guess.
Homeowners who have Christmas lights on their houses past February 2 may be subject to a fine of up to $250. I think it should also be illegal for Hobby Lobby to have Christmas decorations out before November 1st and no Christmas music can be played until after Thanksgiving.
In Los Angeles, it is not legal to wash your neighbor’s car if you have not gotten their permission. Who does this and why would anyone want to stop them? I think I would support anyone breaking this law by washing my truck.
In Glendale, it is against the law to jump into or out of a moving vehicle. It is also illegal to drive in reverse in Glendale. “That law was drawn up by a woman,” said a sexist.
Have a great week!
 


KWIBS - From  January 15, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Winter is my least favorite month(s). Every time I hear someone say they love snow, I want to tell them to put on their coveralls, grab your hat, gloves and boots and join me for a day of snow removal.
A little over a week ago, our 2nd snow hit. One actually hit back in November before Winter even started. Although we need the rain, living in the country has it’s advantages, and then there’s just snow....
Last week we got hit three times with snow. The first one had me out most of the day with the backhoe digging everyone out. A day or two later, we got hit again with blizzard winds. Before I was even out of bed and it had stopped snowing, I was getting calls of vehicles stuck, blocking people in.
Fortunately, the office could wait. A lot of places in town were closed, so I put on all my snow gear, fired up the hoe and headed up to where the vehicles were stuck. Man, they were really stuck and abandoned at this point. I made a few calls to the owners with no luck and decided they were going to be dragged out of my way so I could clear the area. After about 4 hours of digging and climbing under vehicles, I almost had them safely out of my way when I heard a “pop” and felt the backhoe sink. I had popped a tire off the rim and was about a mile from home. I called my wife. Several times. She didn’t answer. I grabbed my coffee and started walking. The blowing snow had finally stopped and I could at least see where I was walking. She finally called and I gave her directions to a safe spot where I was getting close to and she arrived minutes later to pick me up.
I want to give a shout out to Earl’s Mobile Truck Service or “Earl VanRanken,” as we all know him. He slipped on his warm clothes and met me in town. We ventured back out to the backhoe and he had me back on the road in short order.
Several people were stranded north of Sawyer and west of Pratt during this snow storm. The best advice I can give is to stay home and wait until it’s safe to get out in that stuff. You put yourself and others in danger when you try to travel in blizzard conditions.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 8, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

United Airlines is eating crow from frustrated passengers who were promised a flight that would send them back in time so they could celebrate the new year twice.
The flight experienced a significant delay from Guam to Honolulu and caused the dreams of time travel to crumble.
I read this headline several times and United’s promise on X: "You only live once, but you can celebrate New Year's Eve twice!"
The flight was supposed to leave at 7:35 a.m. on January 1, 2024 and land in Honolulu at 6:50 p.m. on December 31, 2023. Well, they didn’t make it until 1:10 a.m. on January 1, 2024.
Confusing? To say the least.....
"I booked this flight specifically so I could do this," another person wrote. "I got a delay notification and we aren't scheduled to get in until 1/1. This Tweet is aging poorly now and I'm dissatisfied with how this was promoted but not being delivered."
They’ll just have to try again next year... or this year?
 

KWIBS - From  January 1, 2024 - By Kevin Noland

Sometimes families get together during the holidays and argue about politics.
Our family gets together and argues about Christmas music.
I must be getting old because my play list and my youngest son Nick’s playlist are miles apart. I like Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, Nat King Cole, the classics....
Nick’s selection was something like, “This is terrible”, “I don’t like this,” Who is strangling the cat?” And the list goes on and on.... We don’t like each other’s music. I can tolerate most of his, but not much.
I always liked my parent’s selection in music. In fact, I’m an old soul who still listens to Jim Croce, Mac Davis, The Eagles, The Who, Pink Floyd, Steve Miller, Peter Frampton, etc...
So I was trying to get things cleaned up at the ranch for Christmas traffic. It was somewhat futile with the intermittent rains and even some snow and I was jamming out to the classics and my phone rang. It was my granddaughter Baylee. She wanted to ride on the road grader with me.
Now this old 1969 grader has no heat, sometimes the doors wont’ stay shut, has no brakes at all and takes about 3 hands to operate. Baylee is destined to be a heavy machine operator someday. Grandma brought her to where I was and she climbed aboard. I put my headphones on her to protect her hearing. Mine is already shot and I only had about another hour of operating, so her ears were more important than mine.
The first thing out of her mouth was, “Grandpa, your music sux!”
Let me hook my phone up to it,” she begged.
I had to explain that wasn’t going to happen because I won’t know when my phone rings. So I heard, “Grandpa, you got a text.” “Grandpa someone is snapping you.” Grandpa, your phone is ringing.
It was a deluxe album of Fleetwood Mac’s greatest hits. I said, “Hey now, give it a chance.”
I ended up taking the headphones back. I think I’ll buy her her very own pair. Have a great week!

December 25, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

2023 is almost gone! This is officially the last edition of the year and keeping with over 30 years of tradition, here is your “year in review”.
We did a little getaway with Nix and Wendy White from San Diego last week for Christmas. We went back to New Orleans so I could pack on a few pounds before the holidays. Unless my scale is a big fat liar and Ronda shrunk my pants, then eating crawfish etoufee 2-3 times a day is a guaranteed way to put on some weight!
I saw my first (and last) ballet! Well, maybe not last, but I did the good husband thing and took my wife to the Nutcracker since I always drag her to football games. I found out that, unlike sports, when a dancer at a ballet falls down and gets back up, it is not ok to clap.... I thought I was being polite.
The highlight of the year has to be the birth of our most recent grandson, Lennox! Every year our family grows and God continues to bless us with more little people!

Happy New Year! Cheers!

December 18, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Our next issue actually falls on Christmas Day. It will be available in stores and mailed on Tuesday, December 26, 2023, marking our last edition of 2023!
The last two papers of the year are my favorite. This week, we print the letters to Santa Claus from the Barber County schools. Next week, we take a look back at the entire year of what made the news.
I love the letters to Santa and we’ve been printing them now for 32 years! They never fail to make us laugh and remember that we were once kids, anxiously waiting to see what Santa brought us on Christmas Day.
I’m still a big kid at heart. I’d like to include my letter to Santa:
Dear Santa, I keep dropping the hint that I want the Kimber Micro 9, 9mm pistol. My old Smith and Wesson is showing some wear. Since my wife isn’t getting you this message, I’ll just drop it right here!
I tried to be good, but you know... things happen!
Kevin
Christmas is about Christ! I don’t really need another pistol, but we all need Jesus and whether or not you believe he was born this time of the year, He was born, He lived and died for our sins. The story of Christmas is a beautiful love story. Remember to make Christmas about Christ in your home this special time of year.
Luke 1:30-32
And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end."
Have a Blessed Christmas!
 

KWIBS - From  December 11, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

My wife found a storage container filled with old VCR tapes from the early 1990s recently.
We even found a brand new VCR/DVD player in the basement that had never been used. It worked perfectly.
On one of the VCRs was the birth of my son Joey. Also on that tape was one of our favorite videos. It was of my daughter Breeann and her Barbie Jeep.
Since Joey was a new born and needed the extra attention, I became super dad by buying her a Barbie Jeep. She took to it quite naturally, driving her baby around (in a carrier even), and taking her favorite cat for a ride.
Yes, a cat.
Remember, we live in the country and about every can we’ve ever owned, actually just owned us. Most of them, we can’t even touch. They only come to the porch and cry when they want fed. Lazy, unsocial cats....
For some reason this cat was pretty chill, or maybe it was drugged, but she was able to grab this thing anywhere, including the tail, and not be shredded to pieces. Mind you she was 3--years-old, but the cat didn’t know that. This was a pretty big Tom and probably weighed half of what she weighed.
The “chill” part ended after about 30 minutes of me videoing and laughing quietly at what I was seeing. Sometimes Breeann had her hands on the wheel. Sometimes she had one on the wheel and the other choke holding the cat. Sometimes the cat was trying desperately to get out of the Jeep, but Bree had it by the tail, which allowed the cat to jump in the back, on the hood and generally race around trying to escape her clutches.
Finally the tape ends when Breeann goes full speed, the cat climbs over the windshield while she has it by the tail. The cat inches its way over the hood and then.... the cat ends up under the front tire for a few feet and then is run over by both the front and rear tires before Breeann let it loose.
The cat then licks it’s pause and the tape ends.
I can’t wait to see what else is on these tapes!

KWIBS - From  December 4, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Can someone let Winter know it’s still Fall?
We managed to get a 5 day weekend during the Thanksgiving holiday. It was a time of celebration and shoveling snow....
My wife started with the leaf blower and then went with the traditional snow shovel.
Now, you’re thinking, “You made your wife shovel snow?”
No. She did that on her own. My snow shovel is a Case Backhoe. Both our backs are sore. I just had a heater and it took me six hours to dig out.
It looks like we got around 8” Saturday. That’s about 7.5” more than I like, but I know it was a great thing for those who have just planted their wheat.
I would rather have had 1” of rain, but I do enjoy when the kids get to go sledding and build snowmen. I even made one. Well, it was just a huge pile of snow that I shoved into a pile, stuck three balls of mud for eyes and a mouth and inserted two tree branches for arms and called him, “Winter Jabba The Hut.” (See The Gyp Hill Premiere’s Facebook page).
When I got home the house was all decorated for Christmas, less the Christmas tree. I reread last year’s KWIBS at this time and I had just written that I bought a new one this time last year.
Where did it go?
Last Monday Ronda had a body bag in the kitchen and said it needed loaded up in her car. I wondered who was in there as I put it in the back seat, but knew better than to ask. I imagined a few people as heavy as it was.
So I came in from clearing off roads and asked where the tree was.
“You loaded up the tree in the back of my car and I took it to our daughter’s house,” she said.
What?!? I just bought that tree. She reminded me that we bought two trees last year and we didn’t need two trees. I was relieved there was nobody in that bag.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 27, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

If you plan on writing a weekly column, let me give you some advice.
It’s not always as easy as it looks.
First, if you plan to write a column, you will need to know what the subject of your column is going to be. As a seasoned journalist, I have discovered that ideas for columns are everywhere. The problem is that not all of these ideas are suitable for column subjectsor even turn into one.
But I thought of something that I remember as a young parent. Flying with children. I remember going through Atlanta’s airport with a baby, a six year old and a 9 year old. I kept my head down and held on to the two oldest children to not lose them on the conveyor walk ways to our next flight. A woman fell in front of me and I was forced to lift both kids off the ground and hurdle her. Ronda was able to jump over her with a carry on and a baby.
This week, our youngest grandson took his first airplane flight. He just turned 8 months old. It was only from Wichita to Denver, so it wasn’t a long flight, but I imagine it might have been long for his parents and maybe even other passengers. Actually, he’s a good baby, but when you’re 8 months, traveling at 400 mph at 35,000 feet, sometimes you just don’t like it. Sometimes you can be 54 years old and not like it.
We’ve all been there. You’re on a plane. You’ve secured your things in the overhead compartment. You’ve found a nice 3 seat row with a window. You and your spouse hold hands and get ready for your gettaway and then you both gasp.
A woman and a baby are coming down the isle, staring down your empty seat. I did learn you are allowed to change seats if you are sitting next to a crying baby, unless it’s your baby.....
Behind her is the dad and two other small children in tow and you realize that the entire row behind you is also empty.
Now you are faced with the possibilities of a crying child next to you and two toddlers kicking your seat from behind.
Fortunately, I remember being those parents and have great compassion. If you ever want to know what it feels like to wear the scarlet ‘A’, board a plane with 3 kids. On the bright side, you are giving all the people on that plane a hard lesson in birth control! I can’t wait to hear how it went!
 

KWIBS - From  November 20, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Just a question, where do they put all the Presidential-Pardoned-Turkeys?
Is there some sort of turkey retirement community that nobody but the federal government knows about?
Enter the Internet....
After 1981, the practice of sending the presentation turkey to a farm became the norm under President Ronald Reagan. The turkey ceremony also became a source of satire and humor for reporters. The formalities of pardoning a turkey gelled by 1989, when President George H. W. Bush, with animal rights activists picketing nearby, quipped, "But let me assure you, and this fine tom turkey, that he will not end up on anyone's dinner table, not this guy -- he's granted a Presidential pardon as of right now -- and allow him to live out his days on a children's farm not far from here.”
A children’s farm. I had to look that one up too. Why didn’t I think about that? You mean I could have put all my kids out to pasture when they were little?
Or is it a farm where turkey’s take care of and raise the children?
Turns out a children’s farm is like a petting zoo.
So the pardoned turkeys are actually commuted to a life sentence of having kids trying to pet them all day long.
They probably wish for death.
Haha! It’s all just in good fun! I wish you and your family a truly blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy “How to Cook a Turkey” by our county’s finest young chef’s in this week’s paper!

KWIBS - From  November 13, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Did you know that the Pilgrims failed at “share the wealth” or socialism?
William Bradford, Plymouth colony’s governor its first 30 years, wrote of the agreement between the 102 Pilgrim Mayflower passengers and the financial “Adventurers” in his book Of Plymouth Plantation. He noted that the seven-year contract signed July 1, 1620, before leaving England, stipulated that the Pilgrims were to pool, for common benefit, “all profits and benefits that are got by trade, traffic, trucking, working, fishing, or any other means of any person or persons…” It further noted “that at the end of the seven years, the capital and profits, viz. the houses, lands, goods and chattels, be equally divided betwixt the Adventurers and Planters...”
It doesn’t get more socialistic than this because the government divided out the goods and freeloaders received the same as those who worked. The result: in the first two years they experienced shortages and starvation. Half the colonists died. In other words, socialism made people lazy.
After two years of failure, the Pilgrims abandoned the incentive killing socialist contract in favor of the free market.
The effects were almost immediate. A delighted Governor Bradford wrote: “This had very good success, for it made all hands very industrious, so as much more corn was planted than otherwise would have been by any means the Governor … could use, and saved him a great deal of trouble, and gave far better content....”
In other words, the free market (capitalism) is a much greater stimulus than governmental force. The Pilgrims now wished to work because they got to keep the benefits of their labor.
I fear that we are, again, trying the social experiment and we see the fruits in our colleges and lack of a strong labor force in America. I hope we change our ways before we have nothing left to be thankful for.

KWIBS - From  November 6, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

We were friends.
If you are a GenX-er, you were exposed at some point to the show “Friends” that aired from 1994-2004.
Starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer, the show revolved around six friends in their 20s and 30s who lived in Manhattan.
Rachel, Monica, Pheobe, Joey, Ross and Chandler came into our house once a week and we couldn’t wait.
Saturday, October 28, 2023, we lost one of our friends. Matthew Perry who played Chandler, a sarcastic, self-depreciating data processor on “Friends” passed away at age 54.
Perry was 40 days older than me and was born about 50 miles away from where I was hatched. I was born in Providence, RI and Perry in Williamstown, MA in 1969.
Reading about Perry’s death really made me feel like I’d lost a friend. He made us laugh over the years, but I read further that Perry suffered from addiction and had several serious health issues that most likely contributed to his early death.
As of right now, it’s been ruled an accidental drowning after he was found in his hot tub.
His real friends had nothing but praise and compassion to say about their departed friend.
From the cast of Friends: “We are all so utterly devastated by the loss of Matthew. We were more than just castmates. We are a family. There is so much to say, but right now we're going to take a moment to grieve and process this unfathomable loss. In time we will say more, as and when we are able. For now, our thoughts and our love are with Matty's family, his friends, and everyone who loved him around the world.”
Have a great week friends.

KWIBS - From  October 30, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

If you see my beautiful wife this week, be sure and wish her a very happy birthday on Friday, November 3, 2023.
I won’t tell you her age, but it used to be the speed limit on most highways! Oh, Sammy Hagar says happy birthday!
I love you sweety! Hope you have a great birthday!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  October 23, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

What in the world?
The Harvard Undergraduate Palestine Solidarity Committee issued a letter on October 7, co-signed by 33 other Harvard student organizations, stating: 'We, the undersigned student organizations, hold the Israeli regime entirely responsible for all unfolding violence.'
A letter from more than 30 Harvard student groups was sent on the day of the attacks, which saw Hamas terrorists stage a dawn raid from Gaza on a music festival near the border and villages nearby. Women and children were murdered in their beds, and an estimated 200 people have been taken hostage.
Since the raid, 1,500 Israelis have been killed. Who knows how many more will be by the time my column is in print.
In response, many community leaders and professionals are calling them out for supporting terrorism and threatening not to hire them.
Harvard's Arab Alumni Association has appealed for donations to help students' mental health after they were subjected to 'relentless bullying and intimidation' for blaming Israel for the Hamas terror attacks.
They claim Israel’s response was not proportionate and it’s all their fault.
Proportionate? World leaders, including our own, are telling Israel to be proportionate in retaliation to Hamas terror attacks. Since when do you wage war to have a draw? You wage war to win. Innocent lives are at stake on both sides. Many terrorist groups want to see Israel defeated. So why protest Israel’s response? If you are, you’ve chosen your side and should be there, in those tunnels with those kidnapped, raped, tortured and killed.
Is that the proportionate response they should take?
God’s Word contains a clear and absolute, timeless promise relative to the Abrahamic promise of Genesis 12:3, "And I will bless those who bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse.” May the USA bless Israel.

KWIBS - From  October 16, 2023 - By Kevin Noland
 

Being a bondsman, having blonde cousin and loving a good joke, I had to share this one.
The Blonde Prison Break
Three women escaped from prison. One was a redhead, one was a brunette, and one was a blonde. They ran for miles until they came upon an old barn where they decided to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climbed up, they found three large gunnysacks and decided to climb into them for camouflage.
About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy came into the barn. The sheriff told his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw and the deputy yelled back, "Just three gunnysacks." The sheriff told him to find out what was in them, so the deputy kicked the first sack, which had the redhead in it. She went, "Bow-wow," so the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in it.
Then he kicked the sack with the brunette in it. She went, "Meow," so the deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in it.
Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it, and there was no sound at all. So he kicked it again, and finally the blonde said, "Potatoes."
I had a similar instance happen several years ago when a young man ran and hid from me after I attempted to arrest him and bring him back to jail.
I entered the home of his, then, girlfriend, and identified myself and asked if she had seen him.
She said, “No, she had not seen or heard from him.”
All the while I was interviewing the girlfriend, a lump of sheets was moving behind her on the bed.
I called out his name, but nobody answered. I poked the sheets with my taser, but no response.
Not knowing if he had a weapon and knowing it was him by the look on her face, I kicked the lump of sheets and he said, “OUCH.” Long story short, he surrendered with bruised ribs.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  October 9, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Last week was National Newspaper Week. I didn’t purposely forget, but we felt the daycare closure in Medicine Lodge was the lead.
I do want to share this great column that was shared in our Kansas Press Zoom conference on Friday. We appreciate being in this business for as long as we have been and look forward to having the opportunity to continue to serve our county.
Americans depend on newspapers to stay informed about their communities
By Benjy Hamm
Director, Institute for Rural Journalism, University of Kentucky
Nearly 220 million American adults turn to their local newspapers regularly for news and information they need to stay informed, feel more connected to their neighbors and improve their lives and communities.
That readership number is based on a recent national study by independent research firm Coda Ventures for the America’s Newspapers organization.
Most likely, the number of readers is higher. Many people who say they receive news on their phone or from social media instead of newspapers fail to understand that the sources for those stories are often journalists at U.S. newspapers.
We sometimes take the work of journalists for granted, but those who work at newspapers are filling an important role in the health of our communities and country.
Everyone, even nonreaders, benefits from the work of journalists. News coverage has led to improvements in food safety, decreases in traffic and plane fatalities, better care for veterans and nursing home patients, support for victims of natural disasters, and exposure of all sorts of wrongdoing.
I have long loved this quotation by Frank Batten Sr., a media visionary and former chairman of Landmark Communications, who said about journalists and newspapers: “Our calling was never more important. We have the capacity to inform, to enlighten, to awaken and to inspire. We have the opportunity to enrich the lives of thousands of people every day.”
Across the United States, journalists and other newspaper employees are serving their communities and democracy every day by informing, enlightening, awakening and inspiring millions of readers.
The news they provide is accessed in many forms. Many people still use the word newspaper as the all-encompassing term for those various forms, but now news is delivered news through websites, social media, electronic editions, email alerts and newsletters, in addition to the traditional printed paper.
Those delivery methods have changed significantly in recent years. But one thing remains constant: Americans depend on the trusted news coverage provided by newspapers.
The study by Coda Ventures, based on surveys of 5,000 people, revealed that respondents ranked local newspapers and their websites as the most accurate sources of original news reporting. The results also listed the top five reasons Americans seek out local news – to stay informed, feel connected in the community, decide where they stand on local issues, find places and things to do, and talk to other people about community news.
Survey respondents consistently said they prefer newspapers in print and digital formats over TV, radio and social media as their main source for news and information important to them.
They like the fact that newspapers use different ways to deliver their news stories to various audiences. The survey showed that people who are 39 and younger listed social media as the No. 1 way they prefer to access news, though they also like news websites and email alerts. People in the 40 to 74 age group ranked news websites as their top choice, followed by email alerts and the printed newspaper. Those 75 and older prefer the print edition but also like news websites and email alerts.
Based on the frequent reports of struggles within the news business, many people might be surprised to learn that newspapers and their digital offerings reach so many readers. Those struggles, primarily financial, are real and affect many media companies, not just newspapers. But the new ways of delivering news allow newspapers to reach even larger audiences.
Frank Batten might not have anticipated the widespread use of the internet and social media when he first made his comments in the 1980s, but his words remain true today.
Newspapers and their dedicated employees continue to inform, enlighten, awaken and inspire – enriching their communities and the lives of millions of people who benefit from their work every day.
Thank you! Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  October 2, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Last week two big news stories caught my attention.
The first story was about an alligator that ate a homeless woman in Florida. The second was about Taylor Swift being invited by Travis Kelce to Kansas City to watch the Chief’s play the Bears. The entire world has gone bananas over their new “relationship.” Sounds like another break up story is in the making.
Those two stories would have been more interesting if the woman eaten by the alligator had been dining at a Cajun place eating alligator and a bear and an alligator had eaten both Kelce and Swift, swiftly... or if Kelce had broken up with Swift at the game to date the alligator or ANYTHING OTHER THAN TAYLOR SWIFT DATING SOMEONE.
Could this just be the NFL promoting an elaborate fake relationship to try and grow their brand among women?
Taylor Swift was reached for comment by The Gyp Hill Premiere. She stated, “Oh my God, football is awesome! One guy lines up behind another guy and puts his hands against his butt while bent over and then you hear him grunt audibly until the ball goes back and everyone runs around and guys hit each other.”
Travis Kelce also reached out to The Gyp Hill Premiere and stated, “I begged my guys to let me score one in front of Taylor Swift.....” He continued, “We’re working on mashing our names. Ones we are considering are Tayvis, Travlor or Traylor?”
I just can’t get over the situation Kelce has gotten himself into. He’s faced with getting destroyed lyrically; getting called a distraction for the team, millions of women turning on him or absolute glory, if it all works out...
The part about the alligator story that kept me interested is, in every article, they stated, “The alligator was humanely killed.” So was the woman alligatorly killed? I don’t know. And yes, I read several articles. Both stories were sad.

KWIBS - From  September 25, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I have a love-hate relationship with Fall. It’s leaning more towards the hate side lately.
My favorite part about Fall is being able to watch NFL games, some live, but mostly on TV. For some reason, starting last year, the NFL’s channel choice is anyone’s guess and some of it even revolves around streaming platforms.
Not a fan.
I’ve watched a few games and no matter what, the quality just isn’t the same and if you are lucky, you’ll only have a few glitches that usually occur in the best parts of the game and not the commercials.
40 years ago, you just adjusted your rabbit ears on your TV and you had the game. If you didn’t have a TV, you grabbed your AM/FM Radio Shack radio, put on your headphones and listened to the game.
I can remember my Grandpa Joe sitting in his chair watching a baseball game on TV and listening to another on his radio. Now, if I wanted to, I could put it on TV, stream on another smart TV and watch feeds on my iPad.
But I don’t want to pay for all of that anymore. I may just have to stick to my grandson’s middle school football games.
I play fantasy football, so all of these changes have me a “little left out of the game,” so to speak.
Many of us watched the mega media debut of Rodgers as a New York Jets quarterback. His move from Green Bay after 18 seasons, gave new life to the Jets. In his first football game on the fourth play, Rodger’s Achilles heel tendon was torn during the play. The injury requires surgery and the rest of the season to rehabilitate.
It’s heartbreaking for any NFL fan and Unfortunately, Rodger’s injury goes along with the game of football and can happen in most any sport. People can and do get hurt. I hope he recovers and returns to the game.
Get well Aaron and have a great week!

KWIBS - From  September 11, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

September 11, 2001, Ronda and I watched in horror as terrorists killed nearly 3,000 Americans in New York City, Washington, D.C., and Shanksville, Pennsylvania.
An overwhelming amount of Americans who are old enough to remember the day, remember exactly what they were doing when they heard the news or actually watched it live.
Yet a growing number of Americans have no personal memory of the day because they were either too young or not even born yet.
9/11 brought our country together, although briefly, in that spirit of sadness and patriotism. We rallied behind going after those responsible for such a horrific attack on our soil. We took the combat to them and many paid the ultimate sacrifice.
Today we see the massive fumble that was our exit from Afghanistan. I have many friends who served our country on that soil. It breaks their hearts and mine to know that the freedoms we help bring to so many are now gone as the Taliban have retaken control of the country. Many of those extremists who planned the attacks of 9/11 are still out there, planning their next move against our country.
Do we remember? Are we still honoring those to died that day, 22 years ago? What about all the military people who were injured and killed in the global war on terrorism? Do we tell our children in our schools about what extremists did and attempted to do to our country or is it not important anymore?
In a 1948 speech to the British House of Commons, Winston Churchill said, “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
Today is “Patriot Day.” It is observed as the National Day of Service and Remembrance on September 11th every year in memory of the 2,996 people killed in the September 11, 2001 attacks. It’s never become a national holiday, but it should be.
Our country needs to come together again, but I pray that it is not over another event like September 11, 2001.

KWIBS - From  September 4, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Think twice before anyone starts telling you to mask up again.
A recent study revealed that disposable face masks, including medical-grade N95 masks, released eight times the recommended U.S. limit of toxic volatile organic compounds (TVOCs). Inhaling TVOCs has been linked to health issues like headaches and nausea, while prolonged and repeated exposure has been linked to organ damage and even cancer.
“Measuring the Quantity of Harmful Volatile Organic Compounds Inhaled Through Masks” was published in April and shared by the National Institutes of Health. Researchers from Jeonbuk National University in South Korea looked at two types of disposable medical-grade KF94 masks made of polypropylene and polyurethane nylon as well as several reusable cotton masks. KF94 are the South Korean equivalent of the KN95 masks used in the United States.
The Environmental Protection Agency recommends keeping TVOC levels below 0.5 parts per million in indoor air. The mask sample with the highest amount of TVOCs had 4,808 cubic meters per microgram, which is about 4.8 parts per million. That means more than eight times the recommended limit.
According to the American Lung Association, TVOCs have been shown to irritate the eyes, nose, and throat, cause difficulty breathing and nausea, and damage the central nervous system and organs like the liver. Other types of products that release TVOCs are paint, caulks, cleaners/disinfectants, pesticides, and even tobacco smoke.
Another new study by German researchers has concluded that wearing face masks can cause carbon dioxide poisoning when worn even for short periods and may have contributed significantly to stillbirths, testicular dysfunction, cognitive decline in children, among other destructive health issues.
The research, published in the journal Heliyon, comprises a review of 43 previously published studies and notes that even short-term exposure to concentrations of carbon dioxide as low as 0.3 percent caused brain damage, increased anxiety, and impaired memory in both pregnant rats and young mice in one study. In another, when male mice were exposed to 2.5 percent carbon dioxide for four hours, testicular cells and sperm were destroyed. The equivalent amount for humans would be 0.5 percent of carbon dioxide over the same time period.
Another study discovered that stillbirth and birth defects occurred in pregnant rats that were exposed to just three percent carbon dioxide, which would be equal to 0.8 percent for humans. The study also points to research that found just five minutes of mask wearing resulted in carbon dioxide levels increasing to between 1.4 percent and 3.2 percent.
In addition, there are hundreds of scientific studies and medical articles that confirm that wearing face masks are not effective at reducing the transmission of COVID-19 and are harmful to people’s health in at least 68 ways.

KWIBS - From  August 28, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I love summer, but not when it’s this hot. You know it’s hot for our family when we decide it’s too hot to go to the lake and ski. And it was that hot for several days.
The scorching heat is no joke anymore, but my collective anguish has driven me to cling to a key life asset: humor. Although I may be suffering on the inside, we all know that humor can help to soothe those burns and it seems everything I touch outside burns me!
All summer long, we’ve been searching for an affordable pontoon boat. We just wanted something we could put out into the middle of the lake, anchor it and jump off to stay cool. We’ve travelled hundreds of miles to look at boats only to be disappointed in the shape they are in or the price they were asking.
At last we found a deal and we struck out to get our new boat last Friday. They say the two best days of a boat owner’s life are: the day they buy a boat and the day they sell the same boat.
My first day of buying a boat was neither. In fact, when we arrived, at first look we loved the boat! The interior was good, it had an aluminum vs. wood floor, a ladder and a decent motor size.
I asked the owner to put on the water muffs and “let’s hear that engine roar!” (Boat stands for: Bust Out Another Thousand.)
Nothing and again, more nothing. The boat wouldn’t start.
We’d met at my buddy’s house in Winfield that day. Long story short, he left with my money, only about $2,000 less than he was hoping for. I had now bought a broken boat.
No matter how hard we tried, we couldn’t get it started or once we did, keep it running, so instead of working anymore on the boat in the heat, we grabbed some adult fluids and hit his pool and cooled off while the girls went shopping.
I did get her going on Saturday and made it about 1/4 way around the lake before it had to be towed back in.....
Monday, we took the boat to an actual boat mechanic who at least confirmed what I thought was wrong with it and assured me I got a good deal on the boat. Hopefully, we’ll be able to use it yet this summer! Stay cool and have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  August 21, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Well, just when you thought it couldn’t happen in Kansas, but only places like Washington, our first amendment and civil rights got trampled on in a raid of a local Kansas newspaper office.
Police stage ‘chilling’ raid on Marion County newspaper, seizing computers, records and cellphones
By: Sherman Smith, Sam Bailey, Rachel Mipro and Tim Carpenter -
MARION, KS — In an unprecedented raid Friday (8-11-23), local law enforcement seized computers, cellphones and reporting materials from the Marion County Record office, the newspaper’s reporters, and the publisher’s home.
Eric Meyer, owner and publisher of the newspaper, said police were motivated by a confidential source who leaked sensitive documents to the newspaper, and the message was clear: “Mind your own business or we’re going to step on you.”
The city’s entire five-officer police force and two sheriff’s deputies took “everything we have,” Meyer said, and it wasn’t clear how the newspaper staff would take the weekly publication to press Tuesday night.
The raid followed news stories about a restaurant owner who kicked reporters out of a meeting last week with U.S. Rep. Jake LaTurner, and revelations about the restaurant owner’s lack of a driver’s license and conviction for drunken driving.
Meyer said he had never heard of police raiding a newspaper office during his 20 years at the Milwaukee Journal or 26 years teaching journalism at the University of Illinois.
“It’s going to have a chilling effect on us even tackling issues,” Meyer said, as well as “a chilling effect on people giving us information.”
The search warrant, signed by Marion County District Court Magistrate Judge Laura Viar, appears to violate federal law that provides protections against searching and seizing materials from journalists. The law requires law enforcement to subpoena materials instead. Viar didn’t respond to a request to comment for this story or explain why she would authorize a potentially illegal raid.
Emily Bradbury, executive director of the Kansas Press Association, said the police raid is unprecedented in Kansas.
“An attack on a newspaper office through an illegal search is not just an infringement on the rights of journalists but an assault on the very foundation of democracy and the public’s right to know,” Bradbury said. “This cannot be allowed to stand.”
Meyer reported last week that Marion restaurant owner Kari Newell had kicked newspaper staff out of a public forum with LaTurner, whose staff was apologetic. Newell responded to Meyer’s reporting with hostile comments on her personal Facebook page.
A confidential source contacted the newspaper, Meyer said, and provided evidence that Newell had been convicted of drunken driving and continued to use her vehicle without a driver’s license. The criminal record could jeopardize her efforts to obtain a liquor license for her catering business.
A reporter with the Marion Record used a state website to verify the information provided by the source. But Meyer suspected the source was relaying information from Newell’s husband, who had filed for divorce. Meyer decided not to publish a story about the information, and he alerted police to the situation.
“We thought we were being set up,” Meyer said.
Police notified Newell, who then complained at a city council meeting that the newspaper had illegally obtained and disseminated sensitive documents, which isn’t true. Her public comments prompted the newspaper to set the record straight in a story published Thursday.
Sometime before 11 a.m. Friday, officers showed up simultaneously at Meyer’s home and the newspaper office. They presented a search warrant that alleges identity theft and unlawful use of a computer.
The search warrant identifies two pages worth of items that law enforcement officers were allowed to seize, including computer software and hardware, digital communications, cellular networks, servers and hard drives, items with passwords, utility records, and all documents and records pertaining to Newell. The warrant specifically targeted ownership of computers capable of being used to “participate in the identity theft of Kari Newell.”
Officers injured a reporter’s finger by grabbing her cellphone out of her hand, Meyer said. Officers at his home took photos of his bank account information.
He said officers told him the computers, cellphones and other devices would be sent to a lab.
“I don’t know when they’ll get it back to us,” Meyer said. “They won’t tell us.”
The seized computers, server and backup hard drive include advertisements and legal notices that were supposed to appear in the next edition of the newspaper.
“I don’t know what we’re going to do,” he said. “We will publish something.”
Newell, writing Friday under a changed name on her personal Facebook account, said she “foolishly” received a DUI in 2008 and “knowingly operated a vehicle without a license out of necessity.”
“Journalists have become the dirty politicians of today, twisting narrative for bias agendas, full of muddied half-truths,” Newell wrote. “We rarely get facts that aren’t baited with misleading insinuations.”
She said the “entire debacle was brought forth in an attempt to smear my name, jeopardize my licensing through ABC (state Alcoholic Beverage Control Division), harm my business, seek retaliation, and for personal leverage in an ongoing domestic court battle.”
At the law enforcement center in Marion, a staff member said only Police Chief Gideon Cody could answer questions for this story, and that Cody had gone home for the day and could not be reached by phone. The office of Attorney General Kris Kobach wasn’t available to comment on the legal controversy in Marion, which is north of Wichita in central Kansas.
Melissa Underwood, communications director of the Kansas Bureau of Investigation, replied by email to a question about whether the KBI was involved in the case.
“At the request of the Marion Police Department, on Tuesday, Aug. 8, we began an investigation into allegations of criminal wrongdoing in Marion, Kansas. The investigation is ongoing,” Underwood said.
Meyer, whose father worked at the newspaper from 1948 until he retired, bought the Marion County Record in 1998, preventing a sale to a corporate newspaper chain.
As a journalism professor in Illinois, Meyer said, he had graduate students from Egypt who talked about how people would come into the newspaper office and seize everything so they couldn’t publish. Those students presented a scholarly paper at a conference in Toronto about what it has done to journalism there.
“That’s basically what they’re trying to do here,” Meyer said. “The intervention is just like that repressive government of Egypt. I didn’t think it could happen in America.”
UPDATE: Sadly, one day after the raid Joan Meyer, Eric Meyer’s mother, died suddenly at the home that was raided the day before. Her son stated that she had not been able to eat or sleep. Eric Meyer stated that he believed the traumatic experience resulted in his mother’s death.
UPDATE in Marion County Investigation
MARION COUNTY – The Kansas Bureau of Investigation (KBI) released an update on the criminal investigation occurring in Marion County related to the Marion County Record.
At present time this investigation remains open, however, we have determined in collaboration with the Marion County Attorney, that the investigation will proceed independently, and without review or examination of any of the evidence seized on Friday, Aug. 11.
We will work with the Marion County Record, or their representative, to coordinate the prompt return of all seized items.
Once our investigation concludes we will present findings to the Marion County Attorney for review.
The Marion County Attorney withdrew the warrant that served as the basis for the raidof the Marion County Record by the Marion Police Department last Friday. As part of withdrawing the warrant, Bernie Rhodes, the attorney representing the newspaper, says all items that were seized as part of the raid have been released back to the attorney representing the newspaper.

KWIBS - From  August 14, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve solved the transgender and women’s sports problem. That’s right. Your local newspaper publisher has done it without passing any laws.
Take for example the WNBA (Women’s National Basketball Association.) I don’t know of really anyone that watches this unless you are forced to while eating dinner at a sports bar, but let’s help them out!
It will take the entire country to get behind a “go-fund-me” site to take care of the athletes’ pay and legal fees for a period of time, but it can work and it goes along with capitalism by creating a new entity.
Once that’s in place, everyone quit. I mean the athletes and the fans. Just stop them in their tracks and give the sport to every guy who wants to be a woman. It’s their league now and we’ll see how their sponsorships go and how the fans like it. It would basically become a drag league.
Then we create a new league that specifically denies transgenders to compete in that league by commission rules. Let them sue the new league, we’ll keep pouring money into the “go-fund-me” page to keep them at bay.
If they (transgenders) sued for a right to play in this new league, they would really just be admitting they want to beat on girls and we won’t stand for that anymore. You’re a biological male and have greater physical advantages over women, but want to be one... Then just play each other. That seems logical and fair to me.
My wife wants to leave it alone and start placing bets on people like Lia Thomas because “he” always wins. The New York Post states that Riley Gaines ( a real woman athlete) quoted, “Lia Thomas is so ‘well-endowed’ I had to ‘refrain from looking.’”
This is just ridiculous and we have to stop sports insanity. What’s next, men competing in women’s football leagues, wrestling, boxing, etc?
Stop the madness and stop supporting this.

KWIBS - From  August 7, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Whoever said, “all good things must come to an end,” must have been referring to area cellular coverage.
Don’t act like you don’t know what I mean.
Ronda and I were loyal Pioneer Cellular customers for 20 years and Kansas Cellular and then Verizon before that. Once we made the switch from Verizon to Pioneer, we were very pleased with the coverage.
We were recently referred back to Verizon when Pioneer stopped services. I remember why we switched.
Ya, so we have nice phones and pay three times as much for them, but we have terrible service. It reminds me of the days when I had to drive up on a hill, get out my Radio Shack bag phone and mount the antenna on the roof with a magnet.
Some of the equipment we use requires a cellular connection. That’s fine, if you can get signal.
Everyone has experienced the “Elm Mills drop off.” That’s when you were on a call, went down the hill going north or south on 281 and your service just drops off. Well, you didn’t if you had Pioneer.
Reaching someone at Verizon is like trying to make a phone call to the moon and it be transferred to Mars. They probably speak better English on Mars too.
After getting cut off 7 times Tuesday trying to press “5” for customer service, I finally took a different route and pressed the “1” button to activate new service. That worked. I got a live person.
After explaining the problem to 7 different people (on 7 different planets), I was told a technician would contact me and come do signal tests.
Oh goody. I’m taking this tech on a joy ride around the ranch and near 99 Springs to show him how terrible our service is.
If you are one of these people having issues with Verizon, I encourage you to call and complain. We pay a lot for this service and it’s crap. We deserve better and we won’t get it unless we speak up.

KWIBS - From  July 31, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

One way to get some fame in your life is to pretend you were kidnapped after seeing a toddler in a diaper on the side of the road late at night.
Carlee Russell revealed she made the up kidnapping and seeing a toddler on the side of an Alabama interstate after over a week of lies. Several news agencies picked up the story and desperate pleas from her family for her safe return hit the air waves and internet.
Carlee was found to be lying after traffic-camera footage of the night when Carlethia "Carlee" Russell went missing for days last week before returning home shows her car pulling off the I-459. The 25-year-old had called 911 about a toddler walking alone on the side of the interstate.
The video comes from Traffic Cam Archive, an online company that captures, catalogs, archives, and sells high-quality traffic camera footage, according to its website.
It shows the Alabama woman's car, a red Mercedes, driving slowly on the shoulder lane of I-459 in Hoover on Thursday night with her flashers on before coming to a stop. The car can be seen remaining at the same spot for several minutes in the video, still with her lights flashing. Police confirmed the vehicle to be Russell's.
The story gets wilder from Russell’s account, but the cameras don’t lie. Nobody saw a diaper-wearing-toddler and her story just didn’t add up, so she confessed she made the whole thing up.
Cameras are everywhere these days, with exception of the west wing of the Whitehouse where a bag of cocaine was recently found and a quick investigation revealed there was no way to know who put it there. Seriously?
We use cameras at our office, I know they have assisted local law enforcement on two occassions with solving crimminal activity. Apparently, good ol’ Barber County has better technology than the federal government and the most “secure” house in the country.
 

KWIBS - From  July 24, 2023 - By Kevin Noland
 

This was a pretty good opportunity to share how conniving I was as a child.
Around the 4th of July, I would hustle people, by selling them things they didn’t want, but felt sorry for me and bought them anyway, I mowed lawns, delivered papers and swept the floor at The Index and over at Raymond Eaton’s gas station - all so I could buy more bottle rockets than the rest of the kids in our neighborhood.
We never claimed to be the smartest kids, but we had fun. Many of us would form teams to fire bottle rockets at each other until one team gave up and ran home.
Obviously, besides this being dangerous, the person or team with the most ammunition would be victorious. That was always my goal; to overwhelm the opponents, sort of a past “shock and awe” technique.
Well, one year in the early 80s, bottle rockets got outlawed in Kansas. Our competition had gone into Oklahoma to get some. Oklahoma became an arms dealer for Kansas back in the day.
I was sweeping Raymond’s floor and moping about the situation when he asked what was wrong. I told him my dilemma and he said, “I can fly you down to one of the biggest fireworks places north of Oklahoma City, if it’s OK with your parents.”
I was all in! I ran across the street and said, “Dad, is it OK that I go down to Oklahoma and buy some bottle rockets with Raymond?”
I totally left off the “flying” part. He gave me the nod and I went back across the street and proudly said, “let’s go!”
Raymond flew me down to Oklahoma and I spent every dime I had on bottle rockets and again was the winner of the neighborhood battle. We were gone and back in a couple of hours.
It was some years later that my story slipped in front of my mom and dad that I had flown down there with Raymond. I was too old to ground, but I am pretty sure my dad had a visit with Raymond because he gave me a good scolding!

KWIBS - From  July 17, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Local columnist and historian Roger Ringer passed away last Sunday.
His brother called us that evening to let Ronda and I know that he had died after having a stroke.
Roger and the Ringer family were our neighbors for many years. They were the former owners of the Bunkhouse at Wildfire Ranch, an outstanding bed and breakfast that the family ran for many years. We sent a ton of our friends to stay there and they all commented on the “view,” the accommodations and especially the food.
You either loved “View From The Hills” or you hated it. Either way, Roger was entertaining and he would make up words like “Demoncrat or “Confuser” (computer). He left no ambiguous thoughts that he was anything other than a very conservative Republican.
Roger believed he stood for what was right and spoke out against what was wrong. He did it unashamed.
I wrote him a few weeks ago because I didn’t have his column and had left a space for him. He wrote back after a week and attached a column that was titled “Not A Good-bye, Yet.” In his column he detailed his decline health and his attempt at rehabilitation. He made no qualms about him being “... a big boy...”
In his second to last column, he thanked so many people who helped him after he fell ill and needed special care. His care was so good at one hospital that he asked if he could stay another day or two. I chuckled over that. He also bragged about how good the food was. I can’t imagine it being better than Charlotte Ringer’s cooking, but Roger was satisfied enough.
“Be ready for a full blast in coming columns,” he stated, admitting he was behind on getting his next book submitted to his editor. Sadly, that won’t happen now.
One of his final comments in the newspaper was, “To wrap this up, I want to say thank you to the Lord and to all of the people that have been so kind to me the last two weeks and all of you, my readers.”
Rest in Peace Roger. Hope your view is even better.
 

KWIBS - From  July 10, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Just when you thought you’d seen it all from Washington, last Sunday the White House was evacuated after a white powdery substance was found in the West Wing.
Turns out it was just cocaine....
For reference, the West Wing is reserved for the president, vice president, White House chief of staff, the counselor to the president, the senior advisor to the president, the White House press secretary, and their support staffs. Adjoining the press secretary's office, in the colonnade between the West Wing and the Executive Residence, is the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room, along with workspace for the White House press corps. The West Wing also contains the Oval Office, the Cabinet Room, the Situation Room, and the Roosevelt Room (the powder room.... kidding!).
The media has been giving us a “blow by blow probe of this situation.”
According to a report from the Secret Service, the substance was initially found in the West Wing of the White House by a member of the Secret Service, which sparked an evacuation of the building and emergency response. A test was then conducted on the substance, which came back positive for cocaine.
President Biden was at Camp David at the time of the discovery of the substance. The president's son, Hunter, who is a recovered crack cocaine addict, was also at Camp David at the time of discovery.
But hey, it could have been anyone’s cocaine, so don’t jump to judgment that it’s Hunter’s. It’s too on the nose, or in the nose...
Change the occupant of the white house and this is the only story that would be talked about. They wouldn't makes jokes about it either. It would be the "worst assault on democracy in the history of assaulting democracy." Impeachment would be the next thing....
This “blows” me away....

KWIBS - From  July 10, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Happy Independence Day friends! Also, Happy Birthday to Aubry Bolton and my friend, and son’s father-in-law, Robert Bare!
I hope your weekend and the next few days bring you a sense of how precious our freedoms are and what great sacrifices have been made throughout our history to keep them secure.
Everyone loves a parade!
As a kid, I didn’t give it much thought, but as an adult, I find it cool that I have seen our nation’s longest annual 4th of July parade. It’s in Bristol, RI.
My mom’s side of the family are all New-Englanders, so we spent a lot of time in Rhode Island growing up. We’d make our annual pilgrimage there and go to places like that and even Plymouth Rock.
Bristol’s Annual Fourth of July Celebration, established in 1785, is the oldest continuous celebration of its kind in the United States. It’s celebrated every year in Bristol since that date, although the parade itself was canceled several times. On years when July 4 falls on a Sunday, the parade is held on Monday the 5th.
I remember going one year. It was hot, there were a lot of people and it was long! I recently watched some YouTube videos and was very impressed with the history of the event.
The festivities officially start on June 14, Flag Day, beginning a period of outdoor concerts, soap-box races and a firefighters' muster at Independence Park. The celebration climaxes on July 4 with the oldest annual parade in the United States, "The Military, Civic and Firemen's Parade", an event that draws over 200,000 people from Rhode Island and around the world. These elaborate celebrations give Bristol its nickname, "America's most patriotic town".
It’s only fitting that our smallest state in the union has the longest running and best 4th of July parade. Good job, Bristol.
Happy 4th of July!

KWIBS - From  June 26, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Slowly “butt” surely, we are losing our ever loving minds.
Climate change protesters dropped their pants at the Massachusetts Statehouse during a debate on a proposed tax relief package Thursday to bring attention to what they say is the need for swifter action against the use of fossil fuels.
About 1 p.m., protesters stood, turned their backs to the Senate chamber and lowered their pants to reveal letters that spelled out STOP PASSING GAS! on their bare backsides.
The protesters were all wearing pink thongs.
The eight protesters were chanting and disrupting the Senate session, according to state police investigators. Just before 2 p.m., the protesters were told that the public gallery was closed.
After being warned that they were subject to arrest, the protesters refused to leave and were placed under arrest and escorted out of the chamber, investigators said. They were charged with trespassing on state property, disorderly conduct and indecent exposure.
I’d bet money, they were transported to jail in a good ole fossil fuel powered patrol car or multiples thereof.
Now for some serious stuff....
As almost everyone knows, Dr. R.W. “Pete” Meador passed away on May 13, 2023.
Pete was one of my closest friends and was our family’s doctor for over 40 years. He could always find humor in everything and never failed to bring out a laugh. One of my favorite things he used to do on vacation was play “where am I?” He would take a photo of some place he was and text it to his friends and family and we’d all try to guess, with some off the wall responses. We recently played that game with his family and friends on our trip to Colorado last week celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary. The answers were a complete hoot!
A Celebration of Life for Pete (come and go) will be held at the First Christian Church of Medicine Lodge, Family Life Center on Friday, June 30, 2023, from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Memorials may be made to the Medicine Lodge Golf Course or the First Christian Church of Medicine Lodge, in care of Larrison Funeral Home, 120 E. Lincoln, Medicine Lodge, KS 67104. Show some love.

KWIBS - From  June 19, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

A recent survey shows Americans are more unhappy with the customer service they're getting than ever.
I’m not kidding. Last week Ronda and I together tallied over 4 hours of being on hold with different companies. Nothing frustrates a person more than to have to push a thousand buttons to finally speak to a live person.
Then that person’s first language is not English....
Some blame the customer service problems on the pandemic, but it already was terrible before COVID.
74% of Americans say they've had product or service problems in the past year, according to the 10th edition of the National Customer Rage Survey, which tracks satisfaction and incivility. The incidence of problems has more than doubled since 1976.
Yes, there is a “Customer Rage Survey Study,” probably paid for by, you guessed it, your tax dollars. If you are not outraged by that, then continue on with your wine or scotch.
I’ve been on both ends of this. Sometimes we get it wrong and I am the fall guy. I can take a good tongue lashing, but I can give one too when it is merited.
Being on hold is the worst, but you can multi-task by leaving it on speaker. Enjoy listening to the elevator music classics while being interrupted by, “Please stay on the line. Your call is very important to us.” I bet that lady made a fortune to record that line. Cut your nails, pull annoying ear hairs or pick your teeth while you wait.
With AI (artificial intelligence) being so fearfully discussed, I want to think we could use it to speed up costumer service. Make AI great again! Teach that computer how to fix a simple problem that takes being transferred 5 times to 3 different continents.
It would probably just teach itself to speak with an Indian accent.
Wait, AI is probably bad and will end up like “Terminator,” so I take that all back and issue an apology to computers everywhere. To have a great week, please press 1 now....
 

KWIBS - From  June 12, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I will be celebrating June as "Pride in Traditional Family Values".
"The moral and ethical principles traditionally upheld and passed on within a family, as fidelity, honesty, truth, and faith. Values especially of a traditional or conservative kind which are held to promote the sound functioning of the family and to strengthen the fabric of society."
I won’t be marching in the streets. I won’t protest Bud Light or Target. I don’t care for beer and I rarely shop at Target. I’m just as proud to be a heterosexual as some are to be LGBTQ-LMNOP (threw that last one in there to see if you were paying attention.
News flash: I have gay and lesbian friends and family. Say it ain’t so! It’s so.... That’s their business.
The reason that I also pick June to celebrate my PRIDE is because this June (17th) marks our 35th wedding anniversary! That’s right. Ronda gets some kind of medal for loving and caring for me for 35 years! Congratulations baby. I love you.
From those years together, we can say we have three amazing children; all married to amazing spouses of their own. We also have 7 grandkids now; one in particular is our very first “Noland” baby boy! We love our family dearly and thank God for them.
Traditionally, the 35th wedding anniversary is marked with a gift of coral, however as this is now endangered, and usually poisonous to the touch, often the colour coral is substituted instead. It’s also illegal to sneak it back through customs.
Coral is the symbol chosen for the 35th wedding anniversary. This unique marine species plays a vital role in maintaining the delicate equilibrium of the ocean's ecosystem, making it a fitting tribute to the balance required in a successful marriage. Much like a 35-year-long union, coral takes time to form and needs protection in order to thrive. Ronda and I were avid SCUBA divers years ago and have seen it’s beauty up close.
I love you Ronda. Thank you for 35 years!

KWIBS - From  June 5, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Summer is almost here. That season and I have a love-hate relationship.
First off, I love warm weather, sunshine, the lake and just hanging out with friends and family.
Then there’s this whole, keep up with the mowing. It’s maddening and I can never get enough help. God bless my son-in-law for all his hard work. Thank you Miguel!
It’s not like we just have to mow the backyard. We have nearly 30-50 acres of recreation area, roadways, spillways, dams and other areas we have to mow. When we finish, it literally starts over again and ends sometime in September.
I once heard it said, “A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
That’s not the case with me. We have 3 commercial mowers that we keep running round the clock. The last one we just traded off had over 1,800 hours of mowing on it and it was still ready for more.
I hate winter, but there's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbors'.
I saw a funny Facebook post from Marsha Hoagland Reddick. A sign in a cemetery on Memorial Day had a “For Sale” sign on one plot. That makes you wonder if someone changed their mind about dying or being buried next to whoever bought the other plot!

KWIBS - From  May 29, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

A lady walked up to me while in Tulsa at LIV Golf and saw my credentials, “Frog-X Parachute Team.”
“Oh! What do you do,” she asked?
I told her I catch the Parachute Team if their chutes don’t open....
Nix White had called and asked if we wanted to come watch him and his team jump into LIV Golf. I said sure, “What’s LIV Golf?”
Well, it’s like Caddy Shack meets, Happy Gilmore, meets Disney World, meets the PGA. That’s really how I can describe it. All I knew was, if Nix was involved, it would be pretty cool.
We’re not big into golf. I play a little, but am horrible at it, so the most interesting part was watching Nix’s skydiving team jump in all three days. They are an amazing crew!

Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  May 22, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

“Just cut my cast off so I can hold my baby girl,” I said to my friend Dr. Pete Meador.
It was 1989. I fell off a roof and three weeks later, my wife gave birth to our first child.
He said it wasn’t healed and I would have issues for life, maybe even surgery. He was right, as he most always was.
The years went by and we became more than just patient and doctor, we were friends, buddies and even family. There were daily lunches, dinners Christmas gatherings, Thanksgivings, Halloween parties, birthday parties, the 4th of July, vacations, trips to casinos and pool parties.
I spent the last 4 weeks of Pete’s life going from hospital to hospital and I watched this once powerful, strong man start to fail and grow weaker by the day. It broke my heart.
I could not write the feature story about Pete. I asked Tammy to and she did it perfectly. I still have not come to terms with losing my friend. I talked to him nearly every day.
Pete made the decision to stop all treatments. He joked that he had more specialists than anyone in the world for every ailment. He said, “I’m tired. I’m ready to go.”
He came home and entered Hospice care. I saw my friend every day until I had to leave for Tulsa Thursday. I got the text from his family shortly after 4 a.m. on Saturday that he had passed away. I had lost one of my dearest, closest friends.
Pete ended every conversation with, “I love you.” He told Ronda and I he loved us before we left Thursday afternoon.
I love you Pete. I will miss you Old Snicklebaum.

Me, Bree and Pete, October 3, 1989 at 11:37 p.m. We were much younger!

 

KWIBS - From  May 15, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I love a glass of iced tea when it’s hot out. Last Monday was 90 degrees! I had a stay at home (trophy husband) sort of day.
It started with me working on our prehistoric road grader. I’m not kidding. This thing probably came with square stone tires when it came out. I always joke that I use more in hydraulic oil than it takes in diesel, but when I do get it to move, it’s a great help after a rain.
I also did some updates to a data base, hauled off some tree limbs, visited with a gopher trapper we hired and met with some engineers out at the lake.
Ronda got to just be grandma for the day and stayed at Joey and Haley’s to watch Lennox.
I was thirsty. A glass of tea sounded awesome!
Since I wasn’t in town, I was going to have to make tea. Believe it or not, I had no clue how to accomplish this, so I texted my wife, “How do I brew iced tea like yours?”
I waited and typed “Hey!” “Ding!”
Finally I got a response, “On stove. Water in big stew pot. 3/4 big yea (tea) bags.”
I looked and found the “yea” bags. There were 4 left.
I took a picture and said, “Hey, go to White’s and buy more yea!”
She was like, “Yea?” I had to point out her auto correct.
So I filled up the pan and put the tea bags in and set it on the stove like I’d seen her do it. It was about 4 p.m.
I really didn’t know what to do then, so I decided to heat it up. I’m pretty sure that’s how she does it.
Tada! The water boiled, it smelled good and I turned off the burner.
I also fired up the electric oven (also known as our indoor smoker and smoke detector tester after stuff drips all over our burner) and I stuck a pork loin in there.
Man, was I domesticated or what!?
I did have to call her to ask how to do that. I found out it was pretty easy, all but the math part of 350 degrees, 20-30 minutes per pound. It was 2.3 lbs. I ended up splitting the difference and just said, “meh, an hour.”
Ronda rolled in about 6:30 p.m. She had stopped by the grocery store and brought me more tea and a couple of side dishes that were microwavable. We had agreed on that and some grilled onions for our pork loin.
The microwave beeped. The oven beeped. Ronda got up and said, “Hey, how long has your tea been brewing?”
“I dunno... since like 4 p.m.?”
“You just bring it to a boil and take it off and put it in a pitcher and stick it in the fridge,” she sort of snapped at me.
So I reread her text. Nope, that was not in there. Not even the boil part. I did that.
It was still hot, so I scooped out the tea bags and took a sip. WOW! That was some powerful tea. I mixed it with water, like you would 2 stroke oil in gasoline. It was perfect!
I reminded her of the onions. She had already sat down for a rest before dinner and she asked, “Would you make those?”
“I made the pork loin,” I said, and quietly giggled.
She got up to grab a pan, either to cook the onions or hit me with. I had already gone to the pantry for the onions and a knife. When I came out she also had a knife. She pointed it at me and I pointed mine at her. It was a stand off. She asked, “Did you just say you MADE the pork loin?”
“I worked as hard on that pork loin as you did warming up those mashed potatoes and broccoli in the microwave!” I put my knife behind my back and she did the same.
I cut the onion, she sauteed the onion (in the pan she was about to hit me with) and we both laughed, drank tea and had great evening. Nobody got hurt.
My tea was just as amazing as her tea. All was right with the world.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  May 8, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I laughed when I heard there was a writer’s strike for several late-night talk show hosts.
The best part is, I don’t watch any of them. I was surprised to find out, they can’t write their own material and rely on writers to make their show’s jokes.
So what I have seen makes me ask, “They actually have writers?” I thought they had a room full of monkeys with typewriters and that’s how they put these shows on.
The Tonight Show, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, The Late Show, and The Late Late Show will all take a hiatus until the industry comes to an agreement with the Writers Guild of America. Until they reach that agreement, viewers will continue to tune in else where and not care.
Remember when late night was funny? I always loved Johnny Carson and Jay Leno. My favorite was Jay Leno’s headlines. I used to let me kids stay up late on Monday to watch “Headlines”.
I wish they’d bring that back. I’m always hunting for funny headlines. Here’s a few. Yes, they are real!
- A nuclear explosion would be a disaster
- Rooms with broken air conditions are hot
- Zoo separates 5 Parrots after birds were caught encouraging each other to swear at guests
- Murderer says detective ruined his reputation
- Campus students playing hide and seek not found by police
- Surgical castration still waits for first inmate volunteer
- Death is nation’s top killer
- Pork found in moose lasagna
- Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive
- Kayaking is hard when the water is frozen
- Survey finds fewer deer after hunting season
- Children invited to eat pizza with Pooh
- Cash is the key to ending financial woes
Don’t you feel smarter for reading?
 

KWIBS - From  May 1, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Robots.
They are taking over. You may just not realize it yet.
A couple of weeks ago we stayed at a really nice hotel in downtown Wichita and met up with some friends for a concert. I had a cup that I needed to throw away, so I looked around and spotted a really nice looking trash can. (It was a really nice hotel). I walked over to it and it had a display on top that instantly displayed “Welcome” when I walked up to it.
I looked for the lid and couldn’t find one. I looked for the fancy foot pedal and couldn’t find one. Then the trash can spoke to me, “Please place your orders at the counter.”
What?
I won’t lie and say I had not had an adult beverage. I mean, we were going to a concert, with friends, but I was sure that this trash can was talking to me.
I went and sat down with my wife and friends and told them. They all laughed until the trash can started moving and then went to the elevator.
Everyone was in shock. The elevator opened and in drove the “trash can.” We’ll call it R2Trash2 or C3GarbageO.


I walked to the guest check in and asked, “What the heck just happened to that trash can? Did it just go up the elevator?” The concierge (yes, I had to look that spelling up) said, “Sir, that’s a butler robot.”
I should have recognized it was a butler. The trash can had a bow tie and vest painted on the front of it.
So this robot actually is “room service” for the fancy hotel. You place an order in your room, and an actual person has to make your food and load it into the butler robot, for now, until the robots learn to cook. Give them time. They will learn. Then the actual people load it in the robot and send it to your room.
Now I had all sorts of questions and concerns.
First off, nobody told me this was a robot hotel. What if I am allergic to robots, like I am pets? I don’t want a robot near me. Then, what if someone inputs the wrong room and the robot shows up at my door? I assume it knocks. If I had not been told that there were robots running around and one mistakenly knocked on my door, I would have probably kicked it across the hall way and screamed like a little girl. Or I would have screamed like a little girl and then kicked it across the hallway.
We ate dinner at the hotel that night. They had one guy who waited on us, cooked the food and then delivered it late and incorrectly to our table.
It dawned on me that this hotel needed more wait staff, not more robots.
Because the hotel had a robot, they must have thought they needed less humans.
So while butler robots keep banging into walls and tripping over curbs, if a guest wanted to sleep in late, too bad.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 24, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

It’s nearing the end of April and I’ve already given up on my yard.
This drought is terrible. I’m seeing the County’s Wheat Tour is coming up. That’s sort of ironic since there’s not much wheat out there. We should just have a County Weed Tour instead.
If it wasn’t for weeds, I wouldn’t have anything green in my yard. I jokingly told my wife I was going to spray vegetation killer on the entire place and go to Brad Forsyth and order indoor/outdoor green carpet and cover the entire front and back yard.
We need rain. It will come eventually. My friend Flint Rucker says, “Every drought ends with a good rain.”
God’s word promises us:
“For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams.” Isaiah 44:3-4 (NIV).
We can only trust and wait.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 17, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I’m totally ripping off a story from the babylonbee, but it’s so appropriate.
As you know, we became grandparents again about a month ago. The little guy is growing fast, putting on weight and getting all bright eyed on us. He changes a little every day and he’s such a blessing to our growing family.
Momma Haley seems to have a great handle on parenthood. Joey is doing just fine too and sending hilarious SnapChats using google eyes filters on little “Nox”.
A few weeks ago he got pretty frustrated about installing a car seat and I came across this hilarious story, so I am “borrowing” it and replacing the names.
A local father has run into a problem familiar to other dads across the country, as by the time he had finished installing a new car seat for his young child, the child had already outgrown it.
"It's the darndest thing," Joey Noland said, shaking his head. "We got a new car seat for our son, Lennox, but it turns out he had a growth spurt right during the three and a half hours I was installing it in the car. Unreal. I guess it's back to square one!"
Child car seat manufacturers, looking to capitalize on this common trend, are now specially designing car seat straps to allow no room for a child's growth whatsoever. "It's a genius new design," said car seat designer Graham Walker. "As soon as the child eats a large meal, the parents are forced to buy a new car seat. Really innovative stuff!"
At publishing time, as his wife Haley prepared to order a new car seat on Amazon, Joey Noland was brainstorming new methods, including just tying his son to the roof rack.
Oh, to be new parents! Love you guys!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 10, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I got canceled.
I was quite surprised when I had asked Tammy to do an interview with a local Barber County native that has done really well for herself. I won’t mention any names, but she declined stating, “ I did some research, and decided this isn’t something I’m interested in doing. Any publication that compares January 6 to MLK’s March on Washington isn’t journalism.”
I scratched my head for a bit, did my own research and then found my column from January 17, 2022. It was a stretch to assume I was comparing the two.
However, life moves on, no hard feelings. I love her family and she’s made Barber County proud.
A personal opinion doesn’t define a business. I have that right under the constitution and I believe strongly in the right to free speech, so much I have allowed criticism of my own column to be printed freely in this very newspaper.
Others who have written here have also come under attack for their religious beliefs and their political party affiliations. Sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I don’t. I can respond or I can bite my tongue.
Years ago, a western Barber County native canceled her subscription because she hated one of our columnists. She was so complimentary of several of our stories, The Days of Yore and news of record. I was sort of confused. We had a pretty good discussion with her and asked her what satellite service she watched. When we found out we asked her if there were any channels she refused to watch. Of course she listed a lot of channels, so we asked, “Did you cancel your TV?”
Well, no.... she didn’t. She ended up not canceling her subscription either.
I don’t know what’s happening to the world. People are much less understanding or even rude. “Polarized” seems to be the catch phrase these days when it comes to talking about our country.
I sincerely believe that social media platforms are hurting relationships. I hate communicating that way. I prefer face to face.
Interestingly, I had stopped by my son and daughter in law’s house last week and a neighbor stopped by to give their new baby a gift. This guy has been a friend of mine for many years. We’re pretty close to the same age and we started talking about how much life has changed since we were kids.
Ya, we had Atari, but we didn’t have XBox, the internet, email, texting, TicTok, Facebook, etc... We spent our time entertaining each other. We played outside and had large circles of friends that we ran the streets with.
Today’s world seems to have forgotten that connection to people from their past. Sometimes they leave Barber County, make new friends, adopt new beliefs and then assume new identities, so to speak. I still care about those folks and I suppose I can appreciate that they don’t want to be “from here” anymore, but they still are whether they like it or not. Or whether or not they like me! :)
 

KWIBS - From  April 3, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Well, I just found out that April is National Stress Awareness Month, but I missed National Stress Awareness Day on November 1st.
Man, that stresses me out. I didn’t even send myself flowers.
They say that laughter is the best medicine, unless you have a hernia. Humor apparently is the number one stress relief.
Well, then I’m healed.
A friend of mine has recently had some issues with his diabetes. That’s a sad deal and I am sure it’s stressful. Recently, it has been affecting his vision and his wife has had to drive him to work for a while until his vision clears up.
I asked her, “You want to do something funny to your husband?”
She listened as I said, “Drop him off somewhere other than work!”
We both got a good laugh, but then realized he could lose his job, so we scrapped that idea.
This time of year stresses me out. I love Spring, but with it comes all of the craziness that starts another year of taking care of the resort. It starts with a dam inspection (I left out the “n” on purpose). The state this time only gave me a 45 day heads up for an inspection. Finding an engineer qualified to do that is stressful enough, but when you do and he gives you a time table that’s less than what the state gives you, that’s really stressful.
It’s a long dam story, but many generations ago Ronda’s grandma and grandpa built Lake Arrowhead. Years later a bunch of retired engineers from the water office got together and thought it would be a good idea to force property owners with certain types of “potentially hazardous dams” to have them inspected..... at the owner’s expense.
You basically pay thousands of dollars to get a few pages of the report switched out from the previous report.
Ok, they do walk around and look at the dam and take pictures and they have to drive here from timbuktu, but it’s a silly (stressful) amount of money.
So I also have to do some maintenance before the inspection. Mostly clearing up the area so the engineer can inspect. My tree guy only had one weekend open and it was last weekend. That cut my time table to about two weeks less. I’m probably either even more stressed when you read this, or I died. Hopefully, KWIBS will return next week and I’ll just be really sore.
I forgot to mention that I only had the previous weekend to work on getting ready for the tree guy. Thank you Miguel for helping me get that going. I was also trying to burn 4 of 7 brush piles and bring in some dirt for the spillway area when I blew a tire on my backhoe. The work on the dam came to a screeching halt. Thank you Earl for getting me some new front tires in a hurry, but I ran out of time to get anything done because Ronda and I had to go to our annual continuing education classes for bonding and bail enforcement. These classes aren’t stressful. They are boring. Which is stressful to me. I sat through those classes thinking, “I could be moving dirt, clearing brush, mowing sideboards, etc....” No.... I’m sitting in class that’s reminding me how stressful my job can be.
Thanks a lot April. You kind of stink as a month. I kept hoping when I got home Saturday, someone would yell, “APRIL FOOLS!” No, they did not.
Have a stress-free week!

KWIBS - From  March 27, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

There are several things that send me into a panic. Perhaps the biggest is getting a new cell phone.
Being a creature of habbit, I get a new cell phone when the one I’m using is no longer supported! My wife’s phone was an iPhone 6S. I think it still had a rotary dial on it. Mine was an iPhone XR10, which was pretty modern and came out about 3 years ago.
We received a letter last week that Pioneer Cellular was discontinuing cellular services sometime in June and encouraged us to find another carrier.
Since we’ve been with Pioneer for about 19 years and usually when Ronda’s phone dies, I give her mine and I get the new phone. Sounds selfish, but she usually forgets where her’s is. Now that she has a 10XR, she’s in the modern world and is actually using the features that I love about iPhones, like bluetooth, airdrop and all the apps it will store.
But back to panicing....
My phone has about 17,000 photos, videos and contacts. Ronda and I share a cloud so that in the event my phone and business contacts are lost, they are also on her phone and in the cloud, wherever that is.
I’m not a super patient person. Monday I left to go to Verizon and get new phones. I made it about 100 yards and “DING” my dash alerted me that I had a low tire. So I went down to our shed to discover that my air chuck was missing. I’m pretty sure it’s in the pocket of another jacket.
I had a good 27 pounds of air in the tire and just drove in to The Sawyer Coop to fill it up. That’s when I noticed a large chunk of steal in my tire and I could hear the air coming out.
So I rushed into Pratt, told the lady what I needed and before I knew it, I had already been there for two hours. Remember, I’m not patient and my truck tire was losing air.
Then I got the bombshell. No wonder why Pioneer was going out of business with cellular. We were paying about $85 a month for two phones of unlimited talk, text and data. For the same service with Verizon, it was going to be $205 a month. That was a kick to the wallet!
So I left both of our cell phones there and went to the tire store, where they were pretty backed up. After an hour of waiting on that, I still had about an hour to kill, so I stopped by Verizon’s and told the lady I was going to get a snack at the Club D’Est while waiting.
I was there for about an hour and Verizon called the Club D’Est and asked for me. My phones were ready! I got there to find out, they were ready, but we were still downloading apps, data, contacts, photos and videos. That took another hour. Remember, I’m not patient. Finally, it was done and I paid. She asked me to log into my apps..... I could not remember any of my passwords. She’s like, “There’s an app on your phone that will store your passwords.”
I did not realize that. However, that app also requires a password to store your passwords. That seems dumb.
If there had been room on her counter, I would have started banging my head against it. In a few short minutes, we had figured out my passwords and I left, frazzled and tired.
The fun started all over again when I had to show my wife how to use her new (my old) cell phone. I was trying to figure out mine at the same time, so I’m pretty sure I was not patient then either.
Sometime around 1 a.m., I was satisfied that I had gotten my phone back to where I wanted it and could find and log into everything. I went to bed.
At 6 a.m. both our phones’ alarms went off at a volume I did not realize a phone could reach. We both jumped up and shut them off. I’ve fixed Ronda’s volume level and turned off her alarm. Mine is still loud, but at least I can say that ordeal is over, for now.

KWIBS - From  March 20, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. (Psalm 127:3-5).
One more filled our quiver last week. The first “Baby Noland” since 1998. Lennox Joseph is the brand new baby boy of Joey and Haley Noland. They kept his sex and name a secret until we got the call at 5:45 a.m. on Tuesday.
We stayed up all night getting updates on momma and baby and the news of “it’s a boy” filled our hearts with joy. Congratulations Joey and Haley! Welcome to the family “Nox.”

KWIBS - From  March 13, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

This past week I felt like I was at a four-way-stop sign and I was driving all four vehicles.
It started last weekend. My mom turned 80! My sister put on a surprise party for her, and talk about a surprise!
We arrived at my sister’s at noon on Saturday. There were about 25-30 people there. I knew about everyone I could see. People were scattered all through the house. My brother-in-law said, “Hey, I want to show you something.”
So I took off my coat and followed him. A man got up from his seat. He was wearing sunglasses, a cowboy hat and a bandanna. I was like, “either they got mom a stripper or a rodeo clown!”
Then he took off his mask.
I was visibly and physically shaken by who was standing in front of me. It was my Uncle Mike Amaral, my mom’s only living sibling from New Hampshire! I had not seen him in 13 years, but he looked exactly the same and I probably squeezed all of the air out of him hugging him. Then I saw my Aunt Laurie standing in the corner and I grabbed her for a hug too!
They had been in Alaska seeing their son, old neighbors and doing some skiing. Then they went to Washington to see my recently discovered cousin Jessica (that’s another story!)
On their way back across their long trek home, they secretly planned a visit to see mom for her birthday.
A few minutes later my mom walked in and the stage had already been reset.
The look of surprise was probably the same one I had, but I loved the expression on her face!
Nice job, sis! That was one for the books.
Happy Birthday Mom! Now we’re on “Noland Baby Watch!” By the time this is printed, we’ll hopefully be grandparents again! Good luck Joey and Haley and “Baby Noland!”

KWIBS - From  March 6, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

We had good intentions.
For the past couple of weeks, Ronda and I have been a little under the weather with head and chest colds. We finally felt better by Sunday.
By Monday, we had some serious cabin fever and decided that we were going in to Wichita to see “The Jesus Revolution.”
Well, timing is everything. Apparently I read the time wrong and by the time we got there, they were 30 minutes into the movie.
So I looked around and saw “Cocain Bear” was starting and bought two tickets.
We hadn’t been to the movies since before COVID, so we weren’t surprised that there were only 4 of us in the entire movie theater, but what did surprise me was how terrible this movie was. I had simply read it was based on a true story.
Upon reading closer, it was “loosely based on a true story.”
The true story behind “Cocaine Bear” started in September 1985, when convicted drug smuggler Andrew Thornton died after a parachuting accident. The working theory is that Thornton was traveling in a plane with 880 pounds of cocaine and thought the Feds were trailing him, so he decided to throw some of the stash out of the plane and take some more with him when he parachuted out. His plan went awry.
A bear did not enter the picture until four months later. The New York Times reported in December 1985 that a 175-pound black bear “died of an overdose of cocaine after discovering a batch of the drug.” The bear was found dead in Chattahoochee National Forest.
“The cocaine was apparently dropped from a plane piloted by Andrew Thornton, a convicted drug smuggler who died Sept. 11 in Knoxville, Tenn., because he was carrying too heavy a load while parachuting,” read the United Press International report in The Times. “The bureau said the bear was found Friday in northern Georgia among 40 opened plastic containers with traces of cocaine.”
An autopsy on the bear found that it had three or four grams of cocaine in its blood stream, although the bear could have consumed even more. It had an overdose and died. It never killed anyone. Don’t go see it. It’s two hours and $25 I’ll never get back.
The bear is currently on display at the Kentucky for Kentucky Fun Mall in Lexington, Kentucky,which named the creature "Cocaine Bear" in 2015.
A far cry from “The Jesus Revolution” that I wished I had seen.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  February 27, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I have temporarily cancelled all newspaper delivery by balloon or trains indefinitely....
Two of the strangest forms (at least for me) of transportation, balloons and trains, have had some bad press recently.
After China’s “weather monitoring” balloon shoot down, we were also watching the aftermath of East Palestine’s railroad disaster and another derailment happened at Gothenburg, Nebraska on Monday night.
But nobody is mentioning the disaster that occurred a few months ago in central Oklahoma. On September 16, 2022, semitrailer hauling sex toys and lubricant overturned on an Oklahoma highway, spilling its load all over the place ... leaving reporters' and anchors' mouths agape.
The indecent exposure happened on I-40 on the outskirts of Oklahoma City, where the 18-wheeler got into an accident with another truck ... leaving boxes of “stuff” scattered all over the road. Thankfully, the accident resulted in no injuries. Several lanes of the highway were closed while authorities worked to clean the mess up.
The jokes just write themselves. Can you imagine using that as an excuse for being late for work?
“Ya, uh, hey boss. Well, I’m going to be late for work because there’s been a sex toy disaster on I-40!”
Ok. You’re now fired.
But this is a supply chain issue! Just ask Pete Buttigieg. He couldn’t make it to Ohio for almost three weeks, but took an F35 to Oklahoma within the hour....
Several women were seen renting U-Hauls and racing to the area to assist in clean up! My wife is just going to kill me, but it’s news. It really happened.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  February 20, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Humans having been having human babies for as far back as recorded in the Old Testament. Adam and Eve probably had the same struggles that new parents these days have. What do you name your baby?
Some people have interesting traditional names that carry on through generations. We have lot’s of “Joe’s, Joseph’s and Joey’s,” on our side of the family.
Joey and Haley Noland are about to become parents in the next few weeks or sooner! We’re all getting excited because nobody knows whether it’s a boy or a girl. This will be so much fun!
Joey was in the office last week and they’ve come up with some ideas for a girl’s name, but have yet to settle on a name if they have a boy.
They have a few simple rules. 1) It can’t end in the letter “N.” Joey’s example was using my name, “Kevin Noland.” When said fast, Joey explained, “was that Kevi Noland or Kevin Oland?”
Rule number 2) It can’t rhyme. So “Roland Noland” is out.
Rule number 3) It can’t be a boy’s name and a girl’s name, like “Pat.” That’s an old Saturday Night Live reference for those of you who are old enough to remember when Saturday Night Live was actually funny.
Whatever this baby is, he, or she, will be amazing because that little baby has amazing parents. I’ll also add a sling of cousins, aunts, uncles and of course grandparents.
Be on the lookout for “Baby” Noland, a first of it’s kind since 1998. The last one was Nick Noland. Nick turns 25 on the 25th! Happy Birthday and Happy Birthday to the newest Noland!

KWIBS - From  February 13, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Well, give credit where credit is due.
I watched the State of the Union Address Tuesday evening. My bet was that I would stay awake longer than our president, but he actually won.
I was not surprised that Biden opened his speech with a gaffe, incorrectly calling Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer the "minority leader." Then he praised Nancy Pelosi and her hammer-head husband. Pun intended.
I must have been dreaming and imagined the President said, "Two years ago, our economy was reeling," the president said. "As I stand here tonight, we have created a record 12 million new jobs, more jobs created in two years than any president has ever created in four years."
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), however, the economy under Biden has only added 2.7 million overall jobs.
Biden renewed his call to ban so-called "assault weapons" during his address, obviously getting a standing ovation from his party and a thumbs down from the other side.
"Ban assault weapons now. Ban them now, once and for all," he said.
Someone should read him the second amendment.
The president made the declaration after talking about the gunman who allegedly used a handgun to kill 11 people celebrating the Lunar New Year at a ballroom near Los Angeles.
The gun was reportedly a semiautomatic pistol with a magazine larger than 10 rounds.
Biden did not elaborate on what type of firearm classified as an "assault weapon."
Someone should also tell him about assault stoves, HAMMERS, cars, knives, etc....
He got this sort of right, but mostly wrong when saying, “In the last two years, my administration has cut the deficit by more than $1.7 trillion – the largest deficit reduction in American history.”
Well.... it is highly questionable how much credit Biden deserves for this reduction. Biden did not mention that the primary reason the deficit fell so substantially was that it had skyrocketed to a record high under then-President Donald Trump in 2020 because of bipartisan emergency pandemic relief spending, then fell as expected when the spending expired as planned.
He also took credit for lowering gas prices by $1.50 since their peak, but he didn’t mention, however, that gas prices are still significantly higher today than they were when he took office.
“Instead of making the wealthy pay their fair share, some Republicans, some Republicans want Medicare and Social Security to sunset. … You know it means – if Congress doesn’t keep the programs the way they are, they would go away.”
That got some jeers and boos from Republicans. Biden was referring to Florida GOP Sen. Rick Scott, who last year issued “An 11 Point Plan to Rescue America.” It got little to no support and was quickly dismissed by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell who said that the GOP will not include in its agenda a bill that sunsets Social Security and Medicare within five years.
"Liar!" Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., shouted.
Biden backtracked saying, "I'm not saying it's a majority of you. I don't even think it's even a significant.....”
So keep scaring our elderly Mr. Elderly. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy also reiterated in remarks on Monday before the SOTU that “cuts to Medicare and Social Security are off the table” in the debt ceiling discussions.
President Biden bragged on his decision to shoot down a suspected Chinese spy balloon as evidence that his administration will “act to protect our country” against threats from Beijing during his State of the Union address on Tuesday evening. He failed to mention that it floated around our country for 5 days.... Spying.....
Let’s just be honest. The second that balloon entered our sovereign air space, we should have shot it down. No excuses. Crashing somewhere in Alaska or Montana would have done no harm as nobody lives there... Besides, the Chinese don’t need balloons to spy on us. They have satellites that can count the freckles on your face, just like we do. Some, not me, still have TicTok on their phones after being warned time and time again of its risks and have no idea what data it’s harvesting to the Chinese. The “balloongate” was a test by China to see our reaction and we failed the test. Shooting it down on it’s way out is like flipping somebody the bird after they’ve already left. Oh, and China is demanding the balloon back. I say fill it with candy and launch it.
Then finally, Biden addressed America's fentanyl problem, which prompted some lawmakers to yell "border!" in the House chamber to indicate he should close the southern border, and one Republican to shout, "It's your fault."
When Republicans indicated Biden needs to close the border, Biden replied, "You got it," but didn't follow up with any details.
All in all, it was a typical speech given by any other president, making promises to work together, bring unity and prosperity. In other words, boring... I recorded it and watched the parts I missed over a glass of wine, pausing occasionally to ask the TV about the Biden laptop cover-up and all the money Biden’s have made off of foreign deals. I got no answers....
So in closing, the weirdest thing I saw all night was First Lady Jill Biden and Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff sharing a kiss on the lips ahead of Biden’s speech. What the????
Have a great week America

KWIBS - From  February 6, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

What a great championship game in Kansas City, sending the Chiefs back to the superbowl!!!
So they will face the Eagles in Phoenix February 12, 2023! Monday morning I was reading my facebook newsfeed and one friend commented something like, “The Chiefs got this wrapped up since the Eagles lost Glenn Frey...”
If you’re old enough to get that joke, thank you for reading.
Ronda and I were excited to spend some time in Kansas City during the first divisional game; the Chiefs played vs. the Jacksonville, Jaguars. Thanks to my buddy Jim for helping us get together with our friends Nix and Wendy White. Nix and Wendy flew out from San Diego on Friday, we ate dinner, went to bed, got up and drove to Arrowhead to watch the win! When it was over, we went back to the hotel, ate a late dinner and said out good-byes, as they left shortly after 4 a.m. the next day to catch a flight home.
Those have been some of our greatest moments. We’ve seen a bunch of NFL games together and maybe someday we’ll get the master bucket list: THE SUPERBOWL!!
In the meantime, we’ll keep playing mean tricks on eachother. Shorty before the divisionals in KC, the Cowboys got beaten by the Bengals, bringing “my team” to a season’s end. I had bragged about hoping that Dak Prescott would get a superbowl ring. Nix thought that was funny and just a day before we left for KC, I got a facetime phone call from him while sitting at my desk. I answered and looked at the screen. It was a superbowl ring sitting on a picnic table. I looked closely and it was a Saint’s ring. The phone flipped around and it was former Saint’s Quarter Back Drew Brees! He said, “Dak can’t have this. He’ll have to earn his own.” Then Nix came barking in with laughter. Nix and Drew have been friends for many years and we’ve gotten to meet him. He’s a really cool, normal guy, unlike Nix or me.
Joke was on Drew though.... I said, “Hey Drew, check this out,” and I backed away from the camera a bit. I was wearing Drew’s jersey that day. It was by coincidence, but Drew questioned Nix after the phone call. He thought we set him up! Way too funny.
Let’s go Chiefs!

Our dear friends Nix and Wendy White with me and my lovely cheerleader-worthy wife Ronda at Arrowhead!

 

KWIBS - From  January 30, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Why so serious? Let’s have a couple of laughs....
A blonde walked into an electronics store and said to the salesmen: "I want that tv."
The salesperson shook his head and said, "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So the blonde left and came back with her hair dyed brown and said: "I'll take that tv."
Again the salesman said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
So she left again and came back with her hair dyed black and said: "I want that tv."
But the salesman still said: "No, we don't sell to blondes."
Finally the blonde got fed up and said, "That's it! How'd you know I was a blonde?!" she asked.
The salesman answered: "Cause that's a microwave."
and....
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.” Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!'
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 23, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

I had run out of space last week and had written about assault gas stoves now being a threat to Americans, but then got this week’s Tom Purcell column and he sort of covered it.
I don’t want to look like a copy-cat, but Ronda can attest to my desire to put in a gas stove in our home. Ironically, the one that I really want was almost twice as expensive as the brand new electric one we settled for. I will say that they have made leaps and bounds since the last electric stove we bought in 1999.
We love our beef, pork and poultry and I’d prefer cooking over a flame, but I’ve also discovered the magic of pellet grills. It’s a slower process to smoke and slow cook, but the food tastes amazing. I’m sure we’ll never have a pellet grill inside, but ours sits right by our front door and we cook on it year-round.
I ditched the propane gas grill for a pellet grill over ten years ago, but there are times I wish I still had one. The instant heat of gas out-does the slow warming up of pellets any day of the week, but you still don’t quite get the flavor you get when cooking with cherry or apple pellets. The pros outweighed the cons.
When the environmentalists start seeing the billowing clouds of smoke rising from my front porch, there’s sure to be trouble. There’s nothing Vegan about it either.
Are they going to come after my “wood burning” grill next? They will have to pry it out of my greasy, BBQ covered hands, chin and fingers.
Besides, I can’t take a young, dumb, drunk senator seriously when she defends her actions and concerns about gas stoves and their health dangers.
Have a “Grate” week! Cookin’ with gas!
 

KWIBS - From  January 16, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

Well, sometimes I get enough space to make a comment, sometimes I don’t. I have much to say about a lot of issues, but, you’ll have to wait another week to hear from me! I do want to wish my Grandson Kycen a belated Happy 13th Birthday (1-11-23)! I love you kiddo and hope you get a chance to read the paper!

KWIBS - From  January 9, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

It’s officially a new year and this column is actually the first column I wrote in 2023, so I officially haven’t made anyone mad by my opinions this year. You have to count last week as a 2022 column because I wrote it on the 29th of December....
I have a few predictions for 2023. I’m going to try as hard as possible to be a “glass half full” kind of guy, but in reality, the world is a mess. So is my sense of humor.
1) My first prediction, that many happen to agree with, is President Biden will visit the border and see the crisis himself. Sadly, he has to find it first and we hope it’s not near Niagra Falls. Someone get Joe a map or an Uber.
2) Elon Musk will not run for president. He can’t. He’s South African. Tesla will rebound, Twitter will be just fine and SpaceX will eventually make it to Mars where Elon will drop off Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters on their home planet.
3) Donald Trump will abandon his idea to run for president and take my advice and endorse Mike Pompeo for President and Tulsi Gabbard as his running mate. Ok, it’s not a prediction, but I think this would be a smart move.
4) People will finally understand that it’s ok to wear shorts to work. They will be accepted as formal work attire. UPS, FedX and the USPS are way ahead of the curve on this. Socks and underwear will become optional and sandals and flip flops are ok. One tragedy will stem from the Great Shorts Awakening. As the masses are more consistently exposed to my chicken-leg calves, hundreds of American men and women will die of laughter. I will mourn them, but not apologize. These legs were not my choice. They were a gift/curse from God.
5) Along with TicTok, Soccer will be banned in the United States or at least on ESPN. Thousands of grown a__ed adults will have to actually work and kids will be forced outside to play. Oh the humanity!
6) With the help of the world, the Ukrainian military will knock the Borscht out of the Russians so badly that President Vladimir Putin will be tossed out of office. Russian oligarchs will briefly consider installing their new resident, Hunter Biden, as a puppet president, but will change their minds when they realize how embarrassing it would be to do that, considering it was actually Biden, not Trump, that was influenced by Russia, China and Ukrain. The dirt will come out, but nobody will care because CNN goes out of business after the last 10 viewers stop watching at the airport.
7) Elon Musk and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) will fall in love and marry. The pretend fights they have on Twitter will be turned into a made for TV reality show.
8) 87,000 new IRS agents will require bids for chairs that will be bought on Etsy or Amazon, all made in China by small children. The reviews from these purchases will temporarily crash the internet. These new IRS hires will cost almost $80 Billion and they will audit everyone, increasing revenues by $10,000 a year, proving that it was a great idea as part of the “Inflation Reduction Act.”
9) Car dealerships will take eggs on trade for new cars.
10) Pipelines once used for transporting petroleum, will be turned into transportation tubes for Washington Bureaucrats.
11) The NYSE will be renamed the YOYO. Everyone will pull their Crypto currency stock causing mass panic and a run on thin air....
So, those are a few of my predictions. Here’s some predictions from 100 years ago in 1923 about the year 2023:
“By 2023 there'll be no mail between New York and San Francisco. Pittsburgh and London concerns will record, on talking films, orders from merchants in Peking, and 1,000-mile-an-hour freighters will make deliveries of goods before sunset. Watch-size radio telephones will keep everybody in communication with the ends of the earth.
No More Hard Work by 2023!
DR. CHARLES P. STEIN- METZ, the electrical expert, believes that the time is coming when there will be no long drudgery and that people will toil not more than four hours a day, owing to the work of electricity. He visualizes an amazing transformation in life in 2023. Every city will be a ‘spotless town.’ That is to be the work of electricity, also. (So their is hope for Detroit and San Fransisco).
Everyone will be disease-free and beautiful, and we might all live until we’re 300. Cancer would also be a thing of the past.”
One prediction that was eerily accurate was that the United States would have a population of 300 million. As it stands currently, there are nearly 332 million people living in the US.
However, the person who thought that there would be 100 million Canadians in a hundred years was wrong: right now, there are just over 38 million people living in Canada.
If Trump gets reelected, that number could rise!
“It is now predicted that by the year 2023 - only a mere little stretch of a century ahead - women will probably be shaving their heads! And the men will be wearing curls. Also the maidens may pronounce it the height of style in personal primping to blacken their teeth. Won't we be pretty?” - Savannah News.
From the 1923 Minneapolis Journal: “It is an attractive prophecy that Glenn Curtiss, the airplane authority, gives of airflight. He predicts that by the year 2023 gasoline as a motive power will have been replaced by radio, and that the skies will be filled with myriad craft sailing over well-defined routes.”
You mean like flying cars? Hey 1923, we were supposed to have those in 2015.
Maybe we can put that on a list for 2123.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 2, 2023 - By Kevin Noland

And just like that... It’s 2023. I’m betting you mess up a few checks and documents over the next month. I know I will.
The best thing about a new year, is getting my new Farm Bureau Calendar.
Tuesday, I ran a couple doors north and grabbed my calendar. I didn’t submit anything this year and hadn’t for about 3 years, but was in awe of the awesome scenes! Bruce Montgomery shot one of my favorite scenes for my birthday month in October! It’s a goose about to land on the Barber County State Lake. It is fantastic!
It got me all excited to look through my SD card on my Canon camera. I keep it in my truck with me, ever handy for those “in the moment” shots. I also carry a drone with me most days. You’d think it was just a toy, but it is quite amazing with 4K video as well. It did have a little learning curve to it. You are doing a lot of multi-tasking while flying it and you definitely want to make sure you’re over the height of your tallest obstructions!
I’m also the guy who never deletes anything. That’s probably why I’m on the “no fly list.” Kidding, but I am probably on a list of some-sorts. I had taken over 3,000 photos in 2022. It took me a good 2 hours Tuesday to just relive the year, and I’m glad I did.
I want to thank Zel at Farm Bureau for working on this calendar project for so many years. It truly is the highlight of the new year to get this calendar.
My New Year’s Resolution will be to participate again! I just built me a new folder of “the best of 2023!”
Have a Happy 2023!

KWIBS - From  December 26, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

2022. You can probably relate that you’re ready for a new year, hopefully, a better one.
The world has been a crazy place this year and it’s a blessing to live in Barber County’s bubble.
Our year started off like any other normal year, but on March 9th, 2022, our year took an awful turn. Ronda’s Dad, Don Vick, was in a horrible car accident. He nearly died, but thankfully God wasn’t done with him and He healed Don with amazing surgeons in Wichita and then recovered at MLMH. We can’t say enough good things about the care he received here. Without the special attention and physical therapy, he would probably be in a wheelchair, but he was determined to get well and he has. We celebrated his 80th birthday just a few days ago!
We rolled on for a few more months of healing and then we got more sad news. Our daughter-in-law, Haley Noland, lost her daddy to dementia. A couple of days after his death, Joey and Haley found out they were going to be parents! They are due in March and we couldn’t be more excited to add baby “who” to the family.
Our other kids, Nick and Natalie, took new positions in Hays, KS. Nick is a warehouse manager for Sherwin Williams and Natalie is a Pharmacy Tech and so is Joey! Joey recently passed his national boards.
My son-in-law Miguel got a big promotion and raise recently. He’s now an operator for Sterling Drilling. He’s got his own rig now! Bree juggles life with 6 kids and is an amazing mom!
Sadly, I’m ending the year with the flu. I hope to be fully recovered by the turn of the calendar, but it seems like I’ve had my fair share of illness in 2022. I’ve had Covid, a head and chest cold and now the flu. Oh well, 2023 has to start better than 2022 ended!

KWIBS - From  December 19, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Keep learning. You might find that something that used to be objective to you, now has a different meaning than you thought.
Did you ever get your Christmas Stocking all in a twist during the season just the way someone says “Happy Holidays” or simply writes, “Merry Xmas?” I have, until I read about these traditions.
Assuming most Americans celebrate and observe Christmas, you’re right; a 2019 Gallup poll showed that 93 percent of Americans observe Christmas. However, did you know that “Happy Holidays” has Christian origins?
I used to think that the “holidays” in “Happy Holidays” referred to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Day. While the modern meaning does align with this thinking, “Happy Holidays” originally referred to the Advent season, which was comprised of four Sundays that range from late November to late December.
So, I’m slightly less offended. Let’s hear some more.....
Many churches also celebrate the Christian feast day of Epiphany, which is in early January each year. You can see how the original Christian holiday season fits right in with our modern time period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
Originally, when someone wished you “Happy Holidays,” they most likely meant “Happy Advent season, which will culminate in the celebration of Christmas and subsequently the Epiphany of Christ.” It just so happens that Hanukkah and Kwanzaa align with this time period as well.
As Christmas has become more commercialized and less religious (in general), “Happy Holidays” has come to mean a catch-all term for the time period between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
Of course, the term “holiday” comes from an Old English word that literally meant “holy day.” The term only applied to special days on the Christian calendar.
On top of “Happy Holidays” rubbing some the wrong way, writing or saying “Xmas” bothers many people. However, this term is rooted in church traditions as well.
“Xmas” shows up in writing as early as the 1500s. The “X” stands for the Greek letter “chi,” which is the first letter in “Christ” in Greek. “X” was used as an abbreviation for “Christ” because the word was so widely used at the time. I used it once and I had an angry subscriber call me.
You won’t be surprised to learn that the “-mas” in “Xmas” means “mass.” The “mass of Christ.” Therefore, “Xmas” does not belittle or remove the “Christ” from “Christmas.”
I’ve found the more I learn, the less I’m offended. Both “Happy Holidays” and “Xmas” have deep theological roots. Instead of berating people who use them, allow the terms to enrich your devotion to your faith tradition.
If either are said to me, I respond happily with “and Merry Christmas to you and yours.”
Anyway you say it, it’s still about the birth of Jesus, Our Lord and Saviour.
Luke 1:30-32
And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to Him the throne of His father David, and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end."
Have a Blessed
Christmas!
 

KWIBS - From  December 12, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I have a Twitter account. One of my kids set it up for me like 5-10 years ago.
I might have made one post, but I really didn’t understand its usefulness. Now that Elon Musk owns it, I might have to jump back on that abandoned ban(d)-wagon.
I guess maybe I don’t have the free time others have to read tweets. I just looked at my app and I have like 2,014 unopened posts. I don’t even know what that means. I don’t even know my password or how to use it, but I started researching it on the internet and discovered I can waste time there as well!
Here’s what I learned: People are nuts. Here’s some of the tweets that I did find interesting or funny!
- Email was a mistake. We shouldn’t be able to communicate this quickly. If my husband died at Gettysburg, that's not my business until next spring.
- You don't see a lot of brown cars anymore. When I was a kid it was just doodoo brown Oldsmobiles all over.
- Guy on Jeopardy was just introduced as a “stay at home uncle.”
- For the past 20 years I’ve received a Valentines card from the same secret admirer. So I was pretty upset when I didn’t get one this year. First my granny dies and now this.
- I wonder if the planet Earth teases other planets for having no life.
- I asked my girlfriend what she wanted for her birthday, and she replied "Nothing would make me happier than diamonds." So I got her nothing.
- In a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
- To the guy who stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now!
Have a great tweet or week.
 

KWIBS - From  December 5, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

For 34 years Ronda and I keep saying, “Hey, when Christmas is over, we really need to buy a new, nicer, Christmas Tree.”
That statement has come and gone over 3 decades. We do end up buying a tree, but it’s usually a cheap tree from China that barely makes it through the Christmas season.
The pre-lit trees are pretty cool, but when one bulb goes out, it seems like half the tree’s lights go with it and it takes a Ph.D. from MIT to find that bulb and get your tree going again.
This year was no different. First I couldn’t even find our tree. Ronda was already in bed when I decided to hunt it down. I couldn’t find it.
I got up the next morning and the tree was up! It was like some Christmas Fairy came in and set up our tree in the middle of the night, only it was actually my wife who gets up almost two hours before I do.
The tree was half lit, or half unlit whether your an optimist or a pessimist.
No worries though. We’d just patch that spot up with a short string of lights and get through until after Christmas and buy a new, nicer, Christmas Tree after the holidays.
Let’s be honest. That’s not going to happen. Besides, the short 10’ light string I put on was like 10,000x brighter than the prelit lights on the tree, so it looked really stupid. Stupid Christmas Tree.
So, I whipped out my iPhone and typed in “Christmas Trees, Fiber, LED, Best.”
I had over 50 matches, so I got overwhelmed and picked the first one.
I flashed the screen at Ronda, she shrugged and said “order it” and I did. Now as of this writing, the tree should be here for the weekend. Let it begin with Christmas! Notice, I did not define what “it” was!

KWIBS - From  November 28, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

We are officially into the holiday season!
Last week, as I was building this week’s paper, (it’s very confusing living in the future), I stumbled across an article written by Harold Pease, Ph.D. Dr. Pease is an expert on the United States Constitution. He has dedicated his career to studying the writings of the Founding Fathers and applying that knowledge to current events. He taught history and political science from this perspective for over 30 years.
I frequently read his columns and asked for permission to share this one because I thought it so perfectly explained our country.
I’m certainly not trying to start an argument, but I have said for years, “We’re not a Democracy. We are a Republic.” That confuses so many people, but our Founding Fathers thought this process through. It’s not something that only applies in 1776, but it is a timeless application for us to this day. I hope you enjoy this article and please send your hate mail to him.
Sorry Dems, Founders
Actually Rejected Democracy
By Harold Pease, Ph.D.
Democrats never use the word republic to describe our political system and Republicans rarely use it, both preferring to use the word democracy. Consequently most people ignorantly refer to our political system as a democracy and have to be reminded that this word is not in the Declaration of Independence, U.S. Constitution, Bill of Rights, or any other document given to us by our Founding Fathers. Our Pledge of Allegiance to the flag identifies our form of government as a republic. In the 2022 midterms the Democrat’s principle campaign slogan was saving democracy which is the antithesis of our republic. Why would we save that which our Founders clearly rejected?
Benjamin Franklin wrote in 1759, “Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote.” A republic has seven major components necessary for liberty listed below. Necessary to democracy is majority rules.
First, the importance of majority rules is recognized but limited. Is the majority always right? No! Mother made this point when her teenager asked to smoke marijuana on the basis that everyone was doing it. She asked, “If everyone jumped off a bridge would you?” The Electoral College and Bill of Rights are based upon the recognition that the majority is not always right.
Second, minority rights (less than 50%) are protected FROM the majority in a republic. In Franklin’s analogy the lamb had the right to exist even if the majority, the wolves, disagreed. A lynch mob is a democracy, everyone votes but the one being hanged. Even if caught in the act of a crime the accused is entitled to the presumption of innocence: protection of law, a judge, jury, witnesses for his defense, and a lawyer to argue his innocence; all necessary in a republic, even expensive. Then, if found guilty, hanged. Because democracy only considers majority rules it is much less expensive and decidedly faster. A rope tossed over a tree limb will do.
Third, a republic is based upon natural inalienable rights from God; first acknowledged in the Declaration of Independence. This document asserted to the world that we acknowledge that humans have rights from a source higher than mere man. A reference to deity is mentioned five times. If there is no God there can be no inalienable rights coming from Him and we are left with man as God. What man is good enough?
Fourth, a republic emphasizes individual differences, democracy absolute equality. We are not equal, even from the womb, and never will be if equality means sameness. An infant with a cleft pallet may need three operations to look normal. Some come out of the womb with a laptop, others with a basketball, and the real tough deliveries are from those bringing their golf clubs. One of my first great insights in life was that everyone was better at everything than I. A second, was that life is not fair and never will be. A third, free men are not equal and equal men are not free. Genetics makes one fat, another bald, and gives yet another terminal cancer in his youth.
Nor is monetary equality possible. Should I bestow my students each with a million dollars in exchange for everything they now own, shave their heads, and give them identical uniforms, to approximate sameness as much as possible, with the only requirement that they return in five years with some ledger of net worth. Would they be the same in what was left of the million? No! Work ethic and talent differ. Why does government try so hard to do that which is impossible? A republic looks upon our differences as assets ultimately benefiting everyone as was the invention of the automobile or computer. This is decidedly not the base of democracy.
Fifth, limited government is also a major aspect of a republic. Centralized government is good so long as it remembers that when it oversteps its bounds it becomes the greatest threat to liberty as it pulls decision-making power away from the individual. Excessive government, as the cause of the American Revolution, must never be forgotten. The Constitution as created, handcuffed the government from dominating our lives, thus the powers of the federal government were listed (Article I, Section 8). The Founders understood that the more government at the top the less at the bottom and that was the essence of freedom.
Sixth, a republic has frequent elections with options. Frequent elections happen in some socialist countries, so this alone does not ensure liberty. In fact, it may be somewhat deceiving as it fosters the notion that we choose, thus deserve, our elected officers. It also assumes that the people are correctly informed, which assumes a free press and equal access to ALL information. The part of the phrase “with options” is the part that ensures liberty. Elections under socialism provided choices but often no options as all participants are from the same party or ideology.
Seventh, in a republic exists a healthy fear of the emotion of the masses and of its potential to destabilize natural law upon which real freedom is based, as for example the notion that another’s wealth belongs to them through excessive taxation. Such destroys freedom as it had in Athens and Rome. We need a caring, sensitive, compassionate government but emotion must not be allowed to overwhelm reason and time-tested natural law constants. Aristotle taught that the poor will always envy the rich and that the rich will always have contempt for the poor. A republic will not allow the poor to destroy the rich in their quest for the wealth of the rich, but does incentivize the poor to increase their wealth thus becoming the middle class, which, in time, become the largest body.
As explained, democracy does not protect liberty and in time could become its enemy. In Ben Franklin’s analogy it would have allowed the wolves to have eaten the lamb simply because the lamb had been outvoted. No wonder our Founders rejected democracy in favor of a republic, something we too are obliged to do today to protect our liberty.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  November 21, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I love this time of year and appreciate, so much, the efforts that our area school teachers put into getting us letters from students on “How to Cook a Turkey.”
This year was probably the funniest list I’ve ever read.
WARNING: The Gyp Hill Premiere and its owners are not responsible if you follow any of these recipes. For those that do, your wait time at the ER may be longer than expected!
This was one of my favorites:
“Preheat the oven to 20 degrees. Stuff the turkey with ham, syrup, and mashed potatoes. Dress the turkey with potatoes. Cook the turkey for 3 minutes. For best results, serve the turkey with a plate, legs, and hands to hold it.
- Kimber”
Well, Kimber, since we are sharing recipes, here’s mine:
Set the alarm for 6 a.m. and make sure your wife gets up. Have her put the turkey in the roaster pan and put seasoning on it.
Have her wake you up no later than 11 a.m. to carve it up. Invite people over to your house who are good at making stuffing, pies, mashed potatoes and anything else you might like. Have them bring it by noon!
Turn on the football game and wait for the rest of the food, I mean people, to get here and then stuff yourself with it. Be done first, so you don’t lose your recliner chair in front of the TV. Send home all those who are not watching the football game, or if the weather is nice, send them outside.
By this time, you should be feeling sleepy and you need a nap. When you wake up, it’s time to eat again and watch more football!
Happy Thanksgiving, Kimber, and Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

KWIBS - From  November 14, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. Raise your hand if you are glad to have your TV, newspaper and internet feeds free of political advertisements!
So, it’s not every day that someone comes into your office and asks if they can look around, take pictures and ask a few questions about your newspaper.
That’s what happened to me Wednesday. I was working on the paper and Jeremiah Ariaz stopped by. Ariaz is originally from Great Bend, KS. He’s now an Associate Professor at the Louisana State University.
Ariaz is traveling Kansas photo-documenting newspapers for a future project. Since I was all dressed up in a suit and tie, I let him take my photo in front of the office. Wait, that didn’t happen. I was wearing a concert T-shirt and my camo work pants. He instead really wanted photos of some of our old type set and our archives room. He also took some photos of the front of the building and was making his way towards Harper County. He’s been zigzagging around the state for about 2 years and showed me some of his photos. It was really cool!
My apologies for not having more election coverage and Veterans’ Day photos. Ronda and I were both out of town on Friday in different states and had to wrap things up quickly to get to our different destinations. It’s one of only a few times in our lives we’ve been apart. She probably needed a break from me!
Thank you to all of our veterans! I still think fondly of all of our area vets, past and present. My son Nick served his country from 2016-2020 in Okinawa attached to the Marine Air Wing 172 (MWSS-172). He was Green Side Navy working as an RP3 (Religious Program Specialist Petty Officer 3rd Class).
He took the entire week off since it was the Marine Corps birthday and Veterans Day! Well deserved!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 7, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

President Biden (Grandpa Joe), had some interesting gaffes these past few weeks as his handlers seem to be losing control over him. You don’t believe me?
We’ve all seen the videos of him wandering around shaking hands with people who aren’t there. We watched him crash a bicycle. We watched him call out for Representative Jackie Walorski, several times at an event. She had passed away in a car accident almost two months ago.
This past week must have been rapid fire gaffe mode for President Biden as he claims inflation is high due to Iraq war and said his son died in Iraq. In fact, Beau Biden, a military lawyer in the Delaware Army National Guard, served for a year in Iraq. He returned home in 2009 and died of brain cancer in the United States in 2015.
Biden, as he wished a happy birthday to Vice President Kamala Harris last Monday, called her a "great president." He later called Harris the "highest ranking black Indian, with Indian background, woman, in American history to be Vice President." That same day, Biden botched United Kingdom Prime Minister Rishi Sunak's name. One day prior, “NowThis” posted an interview with the president where he falsely described his executive order on college debt forgiveness as a bill that "passed by a vote or two."
And if you like an incoherent president, how about we throw in a Senator who just had a serious stroke.
Folks, I’m not making fun of signs of dementia and/or stroke. I’ve watched family members suffer through these diseases. The difference was, they weren’t trying to run the country and create policy for us as citizens. Our family didn’t encourage them to either.
We are in serious trouble when we sweep these problems under the rug just to maintain power.
Happy Voting!

KWIBS - From  October 24, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

The on again, off again, and back on again purchase of Twitter by Billionaire Elon Musk has been quite entertaining.
This week employees at Twitter started circulating an open letter protesting Elon Musk’s plan to fire as much as 75% of the company’s workforce, as the deadline for him to complete his $44 billion acquisition of the company looms.
That’s not that many people. Twitter only has about 7,500 employees and from the sounds of things, most of them work in sweat pants from their living room couches.
This is such a “I don’t care” story, that I just have to bring it up. If Elon has $44 billion to buy Twitter, then he can do whatever he wants with the company. Will several thousands be looking for work? Yep. That’s how restructuring works.
In their letter, employees “demand” things like:
“Respect: We demand leadership to respect the platform and the workers who maintain it by committing to preserving the current headcount.”
I guess that means, even if there’s too many people doing nothing for the company in Elon’s evaluation.
Safety: We demand that leadership does not discriminate against workers on the basis of their race, gender, disability, sexual orientation, or political beliefs. We also demand safety for workers on visas, who will be forced to leave the country they work in if they are laid off.
Protection: We demand Elon Musk explicitly commit to preserve our benefits, those both listed in the merger agreement and not (e.g. remote work). We demand leadership to establish and ensure fair severance policies for all workers before and after any change in ownership.
Dignity: We demand transparent, prompt and thoughtful communication around our working conditions. We demand to be treated with dignity, and to not be treated as mere pawns in a game played by billionaires.
Sincerely,
Twitter workers”
Ronda and I are no where near billionaires, but we are business owners who have had many employees who have made “demands.” As you can imagine, there are other jobs you may be able to find that fit your “demands.”
As a “Tweep” (what workers at Twitter refer to themselves), you may find out Elon is a great guy to work for and weeding out bad employees and replacing them with good ones will make for a great working environment.
If not, then quit (or get off your couch and put on some pants).
I’m going to start referring to us here at the paper as “Premies” and I demand you keep reading KWIBS!
Please....

KWIBS - From  October 31, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I have a lot of friends who consider themselves “Democrats.” These friends actually share many of the same values that I share, so was it a big shock to them to hear that Tulsi Gabbard said farewell to the Democratic Party?
“Well, she was always a Republican,” one friend said.
For 20 years?
In her own words:
"I can no longer remain in today's Democratic party," she said on an episode of her podcast. "It's now under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers, driven by cowardly wokeness..."
Gabbard additionally accused the party of "stoking anti-white racism," being contemptuous toward religion and police and driving the country closer to nuclear war.
I’ve always liked Gabbard and I had a dream team for 2020 by putting her and Trump on a ticket together. That’s right, a republican and a democrat! God forgive me!
I wouldn’t have that same vision today. She has declared herself an independent, which is really what I consider myself, but I have a new dream team for 2024: Mike Pompeo and Tulsi Gabbard. I’ve met Pompeo on two occassions in my office.
How cool does that sound?
Pompeo: A master of foreign policy as Secretary of State, a law degree from Harvard, a graduate from the United States Military Academy, CIA Director, a U.S. House of Representatives member and a Kansan on top of that!
Gabbard: A member of Congress, Samoan-American, a 2020 presidential candidate, an Army Military Police Platoon Leader and veteran who was stationed in Kuwait (still serving her country).
I could go on and on, or you can vote Biden-Harris. Biden: doesn’t have a clue where he is and Harris is a cackling wind bag of do-nothing. Send hate mail to: myvote@2024.com.
 

KWIBS - From  October 17, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Spontaneous.
That’s what we are. Ronda and I either do months of planning before leaving home, or we are spontaneous to the point we don’t know exactly where we are going or what we are doing, but we always manage to do this with Nix and Wendy White from San Diego, CA.
You all know Nix: FrogX Jump Team Owner, former MLHS Class of 1988 turned Special Operator/ Navy SEAL (retired). Well, we’ve been pencilling off every weekend in October to go see them in San Diego. Last week, it looked like we were flying out on Friday and then I finally got a response from Nix, “Hey, won’t be in California. I’m jumping into an event in Fort Worth, TX. CALL ME!”
So I did. It was 11:27 p.m. on Wednesday. He apologized. You have to remember, he really has no idea when these last minute jobs will pop up and he has to jump a flight to... jump out of a flight.
I was like, “Hey, no worries, we’ll just drive to Fort Worth!” So, we locked up early, loaded up and headed south not knowing what or where we were going.
On the way down, I got us a hotel and Nix sent us a map of the landing zone and it was in the middle of the Stockyards. I thought it was odd, but rolled with it. We got there and found Wendy in a parking lot. They were driving longhorns down the street and there was a big PBR event. Nix was jumping in for the Texas Rattlers with their flag. They ended up winning.
Right on time, he landed 25 feet from us, walked over and gave us a hug and our weekend of spontaneity began!
Saturday evening, I was wearing my “Texas Rattler’s” team shirt and a cowboy limped over to the bar and said I needed a new shirt. Turns out, his team, sponsored by Bad Boy Mowers, came in second. His manager joined us for drinks and in Nix’s weird way, he discovered they knew some of the same people out in California that own a resturaunt. The limping cowboy texted us after he got to his room and said he was not coming back down with my new shirt, but the manager swears he’s sending them to Nix and I’m sure Nix will send them to me!
To say we had a “large time” in Texas was an understatement. These trips are always the funnest and make the best memories. I was even fortunate enough to have a late lunch with my cousins and see my Aunt Millie on the way home.
Be spontaneous every once in a while. You’ll thank me.
Have a great week!

At the Stockyards, Ft. Worth, TX with with the Whites!

KWIBS - From  October 10, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Thanks to cell phones and the internet, you can’t have a productive day on your birthday!
Seriously though, it was great getting all the birthday wishes last week. Bree and I have birthdays one day apart; her’s on the 3rd and mine on the 4th.
My first “happy birthday” came at 6:50 a.m. Obviously, this isn’t someone who knows me very well. I’m not a morning person and he did not start my day out happy, especially since I got called out on two bonds the night before and got home late. Just another 30 minutes of sleep would have been a great gift, but NO.... lol
It’s all good. No matter how under the radar I tried to stay, I got many special birthday wishes and I am so thankful to everyone who reached out.
Thank the good Lord I’m not a big cake eater. Those candles would have had to be lit outside with a fire extinguisher on hand. Besides, we’re in a burn ban.
I’m guilty of the same thing. The first thing I do every morning is check to see who’s birthday I’m about to miss.... Kidding... I usually try and send my friends birthday greetings too. Here are some funny ones if you need something other than “Happy Birthday _______!”
I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I'm returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
A wise man once said, "Forget about your past - you cannot change it." I'd like to add: "Forget about your present - I didn't get you one."
You might be prehistoric, but at least you're not extinct!
Congratulations, you've finally reached the wonder years... wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  September 26, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

While checking pastures last week, I really paid attention to the grass in the pasture where my friend Flint winters his cattle on our north east side. It looks terrible, but on my way to town I passed his home and there were nearly 100 round bales all ready and neatly in a row.
It reminded me of the story of the Aesop Fable, “The Ant and the Grasshopper.” Flint is definately the Ant, but more humble, if I might say. I looked the fable up and found a modern version that made me chuckle from the “Daily News” in Greensburg, IN.
“This one is a little different; two different versions, two different morals. Here’s the old version: The ant works hard in the withering heat and rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. The moral of the old story: Be responsible for yourself! Modern version: The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The insect kingdom is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in an ant community of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green ...’
“A group called ‘Occupy the Anthill’ stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the Reverend Al Sharpton and a group of grasshoppers kneeling down to pray for the grasshopper while he damns the ants. He later appears on MSNBC to complain that rich ants do not care about those insects less fortunate. Former President Obama condemns the ants and blames Donald Trump, President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper’s plight. Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer exclaim in an interview on The View that the ants had gotten rich off the backs of the poor grasshoppers, and both call for an immediate tax hike on ants to make them pay their fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Grasshopper Czar and given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading grasshopper friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government-owned ant house he is in, which, as you’ll recall, just happens to be the ant’s old home, the house crumbles around them because the grasshoppers don’t maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead from starvation, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once prosperous and peaceful ant neighborhood. The moral of the modern version of the story: Be careful how you vote in 2022.”
Actually, I think this is a pretty clever adaptation of the classic ant and grasshopper story.
Interestingly enough, the original story is from Aesop’s Fables and it’s really quite an ancient tale, at least the first version. Aesop lived from approximately 620 to 564 BC. He is described as a storyteller who lived around the same time as Aristotle, Herodotus, and Plutarch. Not much is known about his life, but his fables remain popular even today, some 2,500 years after they were written.
Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the fable: “The story has been used to teach the virtues of hard work and the perils of improvidence. Some versions state a moral at the end along the lines of ‘Idleness brings want,’ ‘To work today is to eat tomorrow,’ ‘Beware of winter before it comes.’”
Although there have been some interpretations of the fable that suggest that the ant is being selfish, however, “…the point of view in most retellings of the fable is supportive of the ant.” But since the 18th century the grasshopper “has been seen as [a] type of artist and the question of [his] place…in society has also been included” in various interpretations of the fable. Now, we’re on our way to something approaching the second version of the fable!
Is the ant just being greedy and selfish? That’s a spin that has been put on this ancient fable about the role of the arts in society. Remember, the grasshopper “dances and plays the summer away.” And if the arts have a place in society, shouldn’t society provide the basic necessities to the artist so he can continue to dance and play, (play, in this fable has to do with playing music on a fiddle, not just playing as a child would.) This is an even closer interpretation to the second version of the fable written above.
Needless to say, the more liberal interpretation of the ancient fable probably isn’t what Aesop intended. I can’t imagine Aesop suggesting a tax on the ants for redistribution to indolent grasshoppers.

KWIBS - From  September 19, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Let the fury of hate mail against gun owners begin. Oh, for the irony though....
Progressive Congresswoman Karen Bass, who is also running for mayor of Los Angeles, announced that her home was burglarized during the evening hours on Friday, September 9th.
“Cash, electronics and other valuables were not. It’s unnerving and, unfortunately, it’s something that far too many Angelenos have faced.”
According to other reports, based off the statement Bass made, it sounds like the thief new Bass and/or Bass knew the thief since only her two firearms were stolen, which she claims were “safely and securely stored.” (As reported by Law Enforcement Today).
In addition to that, another odd thing about the announcement of her house being burglarized is that the Democrat politician is a supporter of Fidel Castro and is a gun owner.
History shows that Bass has voted against every major legislation supporting gun rights and gun ownership. Below is a rundown of Bass’ voting record on Second Amendment rights:
Bass supports restricting gun purchase and possession;
She supported the Project Vote Smart (PVS) survey question on gun restrictions, which summarizes candidates stances on gun issues and whether or not they support restrictions on purchases and possession of guns;
Bass supports banning large-capacity ammunition and she co-sponsored the Large Capacity Ammunition Feeding Device Act;
She was a proponent of amending the Brandy Handgun Violence Prevention Act, which included details like prohibiting the transfer or possession of a large capacity ammunition feeding device; and
She wanted to repeal the “stand-your-ground-laws and she co-sponsored a Resolution on Gun Violence, which in a congressional summary indicated that the bill urged Congress to enact legislation based on the President’s recommendations to reduce gun violence as well as push states to repeal enacted stand-your-ground-laws and condemn gun violence.
So she thinks the rules should only apply to us common folk, not the elite and people often say dumb things in the heated passion of political debate.
And in the new era of gun control regulations, inflaming emotions rather than engaging in a rational discussion has become all too common.
Have a great week and keep those guns locked away.
 

KWIBS - From  September 12, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

So, you’ve probably noticed one of the most entertaining sections of the newspaper is the dispatch news. All credit to Kristine Landwehr. She works hard and gives you a chance to catch up on the latest happenings in Barber County. These dispatch calls remind me of the days that Charles DeGeer used to do the news.
I’ve been in law enforcement with bonding and bounty hunting since 2004. I love some of the excuses I get for either not showing up for court, or why I should just take their word for it, that it was a misunderstanding. Some are just overly honest and some lie through their teeth. Which made me laugh when I read this story:
One night four college students were out partying late at night and didn’t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning, they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look dirty with grease and dirt.
Then they went to the Dean and said they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their way back the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back. So they were in no condition to take the test.
The Dean thought for a minute and said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day, they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of only 2 questions with the total of 100 Points:
1) Your Name? __________ (1 Point)
2) Which tire burst? __________ (99 Points)
Options – (a) Front Left (b) Front Right (c) Back Left (d) Back Right.
 

KWIBS - From  September 5, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Folks, the threat from China is real. They have waged a war against the U.S. in trade in infiltration of our businesses, transportation of goods, interference in our government and now this....
Man solves three Rubik's cubes while juggling in under 3 1/2 minutes.
Aug. 29 (UPI) -- A Chinese puzzle enthusiast broke a Guinness World Record by solving three Rubik's cubes in 3 minutes and 29.29 seconds while juggling the puzzles.
Guinness World Records announced Li Zhihao broke the record for fastest time to solve three rotating puzzle cubes while juggling during an attempt in Xiamen, Fujian.
Li solved the three puzzles while juggling in 3 minutes and 29.29 seconds.
Li previously earned Guinness World Records titles for most rotating puzzle cubes solved whilst suspended upside down, 195; most rotating puzzle cubes solved using one hand while suspended upside down, 104; fastest time to solve a rotating puzzle cube by a team of two, 12.59 seconds; and fastest time to solve a rotating puzzle cube by a team of two under water, 18.93 seconds.
I’m not usually an alarmistist.
This is all pretty frightening since I can sometimes get two sides done in about 30 minutes and most Americans can’t get one side for as long as you allow them to play with it.
Really what I’m getting at is this; the Chinese are smart and they have a long term plan to win whatever game they want to play with America. While we sit back and allow our children to be gender confused, have men competing in women’s sports, have crime running rampant, China is secretly buying up land, industry, our media, food and medical supplies - such as penicillin. 97 percent of all antibiotics and 80 percent of all active ingredients in American pharmaceuticals come from China. In 2017 alone, the United States imported a whopping $4.6 billion in foodstuffs from the People’s Republic of China.
Oh, and get rid of TicTok.

KWIBS - From  August 22, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

My morning ritual begins with me convincing myself to roll out of bed..... at some point.
Between newspaper, bonding, bail enforcement and the ranch, I can have some pretty long days, as was the case last week.
When I do finally get up, I go for the caffeine machine and then read the news on-line. I could sit blankly in front of the TV, but I still enjoy reading the news from several perspectives. Then I visit Faceplant where people go to vent.
One of the best and worst ideas from several news sources is having a place at the bottom to make comments and give opinions. This is where the real trolls come out of the woodwork.
An internet troll is a person who posts inflammatory, insincere, digressive, snarky, condescending, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as social media Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc.).
The newspaper can find itself being trolled on Faceplant over the simplest things like an incorrect headline, but the fact of the matter is, if you don’t have the courage to just pick up the phone and call and inform us of the error and ask for a correction, but choose to put on your keyboard armor, you can expect for me to respond in kind, right here.
We don’t claim to be perfect, we don’t always hear everything that’s said, barely above a whisper at a meeting, but we are human beings who care about our communities and want to present information to the public in the most accurate manner possible.
Any entity funded by tax payer dollars should be able to provide clear information about what’s being shared. Never assume that we all know everything. That’s being transparent. We’ll always do our best to cover these meetings accurately, but we will make a mistake every now and then.
Speak up. Clearly explain and treat us online like you’d treat us face to face. Be an adult. And we’ll do the same.

KWIBS - From  August 15, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

My wife is pretty.
Only she gets that little inside joke before I begin.
Acronyms can be hilarious, especially if you don’t use them correctly.
My wife had a hilarious slip this past weekend. As most of you know, we manage a lake resort north of Medicine Lodge. We’re watercraft and boat people and have been for the better part of 30 years. We’ve seen it all.
Our cousins are also watercraft and boat people. They have unusually bad luck. They just replaced two engines in their boat this past year. I thought we were doing so much better, but two months after my warranty expired, an engine blew in one of our jetskis. Replacing it cost almost half of buying a new one.
They say the two greatest days of a boat owner’s life is the day they buy a boat and the day they sell it.
As our cousin was limping his boat back to the dock this weekend Ronda declares, “Well, you know what ‘BOAT’ stands for? ‘Bust Out More Money.”
We all just looked at her and then started laughing.
“Babe,” I said, “It’s Bust Out Another Thousand.”
We all had a good laugh and even asked her if she wanted to go on another BOMM ride?
Here’s some other funny acronyms that I like:
BOOK - Brainy Object Of Knowledge
MAID - Mother Actually In Disguise
STRESS - Stuff To Remember Every Single Second
BEACH - Best Escape Anyone Can Have
MALL - Money Accepted, Long Lines
FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily (or Found On Road Dead)
DODGE - Drains Or Drops Grease Everywhere (or Dead On Day Guarantee Expires)
PORSCHE - Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
Just laugh. You know you want to.
KWIBS - From  August 1, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

John and Martina McBride and her brother Marty gave the ulitimate gift to their father Daryl Schiff by having a “Schiffter’s” reunion a little over a week ago.
The smiles on Daryl’s face said it all. He’s very proud of his kids and they are very proud of him. It was a great act of love to do that and it was a really fun evening, despite the 106 degree heat we sat in! I was moved to tears several times watching Daryl up there still being the awesome entertainer that he’s always been with his family beside him. That Saturday night, he felt the love of several generations and he gave it right back to them!
But the love didn’t stop there. Our entire family came to the show and for the entire evening my son and daughter-in-law (Joey and Haley) had kept a secret to tell Ronda and I. They are expecting their first child!
I was distracted and was hanging out with some friends when Joey was trying to get my attention. Then I saw my wife running up to me with a white object in her hand and she said, “We’ve been trying to get you over here for the past 30 minutes and you’re not answering your phone!”
Well, my phone was dead and I did blow off Joey when he came to the fenced in area behind the stage and yelled for me.
When Ronda handed me the white cloth I said, “What are you guys so excited about? Did you catch Daryl’s sweat rag or something?” I thought that was pretty funny, until I unrolled the white cloth and read the tiny baby shirt that said, “You can stop asking now!”
My jaw dropped and I stared at this shirt for what seemed like an eternity and my heart was racing.
“We’re going to have a baby,” I said to Flint Rucker!
Flint said, “Yep, I knew before you did because your wife was running around the fair showing everyone!”
We both just laughed.
After the show, we went to say our thanks to Daryl, Marty and Martina and they signed the little tiny baby shirt and we tried to give it back to Joey and Haley, but they wanted us to keep it.
What’s so very special to us all is that Haley got to tell her mom and family in person in California. She found out they were pregnant just three days after her dad passed away. While at Haley’s dad’s celebration of life ceremony, they made their announcement and now celebrate a new life - and we are so happy for them!
Like I said, I was in shock and my hands were trembling, so this photo is a little blurry. Haley can attest that when I get excited my photos turn out terrible!

KWIBS - From  July 25, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Sometimes if it’s bad luck, it’s at least some kind of luck!
These blistering temperatures are rapidly moving us into a fire danger situation again. Not that many are burning, but I believe a burn ban is in order again.
Last weekend I started my day looking for my septic tank. Keep in mind, I was there when it was installed in 1999, but hadn’t seen it since. I was pretty sure I knew the location and that it was pretty deep. The ground is basically concrete, so I called my local septic guy and we assessed the situation.
Both of us decided that hand digging was out of the question, but I just happened to have a backhoe in my front yard. We dug several holes over a couple of hours with no luck. I finally called a service with a camera and locator and discovered I was about 15’ off.
Unfortunately, I had turned my front yard and drive way into a war zone, so after I fixed all the holes, we planted some quick cover grass and began watering and watering and now it looks like I have buried bodies in my front yard! Maybe a few are? Maybe this is just a cover story!
Anyway, the toilets are flushing and all was right with the world by Saturday afternoon.
We had the grandkids out, so we had plenty of distractions and didn’t notice that it was getting hotter and hotter in our house.
I woke up Sunday morning and checked the thermostat and it read 80. It was set on 73. I slipped on my sandals and went out to the unit which wasn’t running. I’m not an a/c repairman, but I know when a capacitor goes bad. Those cheap little devices can stop your cooling without warning and mine did.
Now it’s Sunday and we have no air. It was Tim Winter to the rescue. It was no surprise that we were already his third call of the day. He had us fixed up before breakfast!
Thanks to all those guys who work out in the heat to help those in need!

KWIBS - From  July 18, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

If you are a nerdy type person, like me, I’d like to introduce you to www.quora.com
Quora is a place you can go ask a question and then some smarty pants guy or girl answers you. But it gets even better. 100s of other smarty pants people can then share their knowledge on the subject in questions.
Most of the time it’s military stuff that people have questions about. I find those the most interesting, but this one caught my eye last week.
Steven Haddock had the answer to this question: If a single atom was split, would a nuclear explosion occur?
Well, someone actually did that.
Some Germans who later won a Nobel Prize were trying to create a new element by firing helium nuclei at a sample of uranium.
Instead they got a weird mix of lighter elements (always the same ones) and a minor amount of energy off the sample.
One of them asked for help from a German physicist living in England. She worked out what happened - they had split the uranium into lighter elements and the energy was the result of the difference in mass between the uranium going in and the other elements coming out.
Instead of building a new atom they had, quite by accident, done what everyone had said couldn’t be done - they had split an atom.
And, luckily for the scientists, no nuclear explosion either. The energy was measurable, but not significant. They got the Nobel Prize for demonstrating atom splitting, except for the lady who did the actual math to prove they did it.
Einstein was kind of pleased because it proved his theory E=mc^2. He already had a Nobel Prize.
But the whole nuclear explosion thing had to wait for a Hungarian Jew waiting for a traffic light in London realizing that if you had a lot of Uranium-235 that the neutrons thrown off by some of the atoms undergoing radioactive decay would cause other atoms to split and give off neutrons and it would be self sustaining. No Nobel Prize for him either. Also, everyone who knew him said the story was a lie - he never waited for traffic lights at any time in his entire life.
Which an Italian in Chicago first demonstrated by making a “nuclear pile”. He won a Nobel Prize for that.
And a young bongo playing grad student with a talent for safecracking later worked out how much Uranium-235 or Plutonium you needed in a place called Los Alamos. He won a Nobel Prize for something else.
I discovered that a lawnmower seat placed strategically in the sun on a 110 degree day will melt your rear end in a few seconds if you just hop on it without thinking. No atoms to split, no dangerous uranium to handle, just good old sun. I was working on putting new belts on one machine and every tool, every cover, every screw was like 2,500 degrees.
Nobody gave me a Nobel Prize for that little discovery!
So, if you’re bored with the mainstream media, check out the Quora website to have all your questions answered that you’ve never thought of asking. You might find it as interesting as I do, but remember to read the comments. Those are the best.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  July 11, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I get frequently asked to download “TikTok” by a law enforcement friend of mine and I keep telling him how bad it is.
TikTok collects information from your messages. So you may want to consider that when using the app to chat with friends. Further, the platform doesn't have end-to-end encryption for messages. That means it isn't as secure as some other messaging apps which do have that extra layer of security built in.
TikTok knows the device you are using, your location, IP address, search history, the content of your messages, what you're viewing and for how long. It also collects device identifiers to track your interactions with advertisers.
Over the past few years, security researchers found multiple security vulnerabilities within the app. And since TikTok has access to a lot of personal information, it became the favorite route for many hackers. Apple developers testing its next operating system, iOS 14, recently found that the TikTok app could access clipboard data on its iPhones. iPhone users sometimes use the clipboard feature to copy sensitive information like passwords. That means TikTok could also access and potentially collect the data.
It also requests access to your phone's model, screen resolution, current OS, phone number, email address, location, keystroke patterns, and even contact lists. None of that seems important if you just want to watch 15-second clips.
It's no exaggeration to say that TikTok is a danger to your privacy.
Multiple studies have shown that too much TikTok can also be bad for the brain. With more than 689 million active users worldwide, TikTok users spend more than ten hours per week on the platform. Tiktok videos have also been linked to decreased attention spans after being on the app for more than ninety minutes.

KWIBS - From  July 4, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Saturday our family and friends celebrated Independence Day. That was perfect considering that the vote for actual independence by the 2nd Continental Congress actually happened on July 2nd. It was ratified on July 4th 1776 and called the Declaration of Independence.
After the revolutionary war we truly became free, united and independent states.
For all that is going on in our world, The United States of America is still the greatest nation in history. If that were not true, people would not be caravaning through the most dangerous places to get here and more citizens who claim they want to leave for another country would have done so (insert Whoopi Goldberg’s name here).
In the Bill of Rights (The first 10 Amendments of our Constitution), in the first amendment it states: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
The second amendment guarantees the first: The right to bear arms. “A well-regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.”
This amazing document protects your basic freedoms.
One of my favorite quotes on the 2nd amendment:
“The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.” - Jeff Cooper, Art of the Rifle
Happy Independence Day!
 

KWIBS - From  June 27, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

What I wouldn’t give to have a mean tweeting president right now.
You know it’s bad when CNN starts distancing themselves and calling a spade a spade.
A CNN poll released last Wednesday shows that the President's repeated efforts to highlight undeniably strong aspects of the economy's post-pandemic rebound and to offset blame for its bad spots aren't working.
I’m sorry if you disagree, but every one of my Democrat and Republican friends agree. Biden is not up for the job.
House and Senate Dems are not helping by focusing on January 6 hearings, The Supreme Court’s pending decision on Roe V. Wade and trying to reinvent the wheel with more gun legislation. Americans appear to be smart enough to ask questions, but the party seems stuck in a dangerous political position of insisting the economy is doing well while voters think it's in the tank.
The CNN poll, conducted by SSRS from April 28 to May 1, showed that a majority of Americans think Biden's policies have hurt the economy, while 8 in 10 say the government is not doing enough to combat inflation. It was released on the same day the Federal Reserve made its biggest swing against the rising cost of living in 22 years.
Are the days of 30 year mortgages under 3% in the past? In the 1980s, mortgages were close to 15%, so it’s not unfathomable to think we haven’t hit near the ceiling that we could.
And stop telling us that “we’re doing all that we can.” Just two years ago we were a major energy and commodities exporter. What changed? Policy changed and Biden owns it.
The good news is, Americans are resourceful and have bounced back a number of times, even in my lifetime.
But it's hard to see how things get better quickly -- or anywhere near in time to make a difference to Biden before the midterms. It’s about the economy, stupid. - James Carville.

KWIBS - From  June 20, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I let out an audible gasp last week as my tank received $100.29 of the cheapest gas in Goddard, Kansas last week.
This was a “had to” trip. I needed a part for one of our mowers at the lake and out of 4 dealerships, Goddard had the part I needed.
At the same time my wife, back home, filled up her car at $81.00. We had to go back to Wichita on Tuesday to take our kids to the airport.
Things are getting tight with inflation. Many believe we are entering a recession. As a business, that’s a frightening word. It means: a period of temporary economic decline during which trade and industrial activity are reduced, generally identified by a fall in GDP in two successive quarters.
Nobody wants to see a recession happen in our country, especially in our county. You do have some control. Shop at home and support your local businesses where you can. I realize nobody in Barber County has a rectifier for a XL850 Kawasaki engine that I can just go in and buy, but as an example, I needed twelve, 2 1/2” PVC end caps. I stopped in Home Lumber and saw Chris and he scratched his head for a bit. We both knew it was an odd size and he didn’t have them. Amazon did for $15-$21 a cap vs. Chris’s $1.98 for a 2” cap. I appreciated that he looked and was sorry it ended up being a no-sale, but he mentioned Jayhawk Oilfield Supply.
I stopped in and, behold! They had them!
We all love to get out of town occasionally, but our local businesses need your support through these difficult periods.
Our local grocery stores, might be higher than the big box stores, but $5 a gallon gas should make you think twice about shopping with people who support your community with their taxes and employment. Give Barber County businesses a chance and you’ll be surprised at what you can find and how hard our merchants will work to get you what you need.
We might have our ups and downs, but we can make a difference in our own small economies. For example, I’m a big fan of a good steak and I won’t lie, I often leave the county to get it served to me, but recently decided to stop at the Plumb Thicket in Kiowa where Sue Becker cooked us the most amazing steaks. It was so good, we went back a week later.
There is so much this county has to offer, so don’t drive 60 miles or more to save yourself a fraction of what you spend in fuel and wear and tear on your vehicles, but if you must leave town, buy your fuel, tires and have your local mechanics do the work. It’s the very least you can do.
Congratulations to Dr. David Chacko for the ground breaking of the Medicine Lodge Meat Company! I was supposed to attend this event, but we had a family emergency and had to fly our kids to Denver. This was a near and dear project to me. There was a lot of behind the scenes action taken to get this project off the ground. Mayor Anthony Farrar, City Administrator Jeff Porter, Barber County Development’s Jim Rowland, myself, Henry Hudson, Shon Fields and, of course, the tireless Marcine Moldenhaur, were all partners in getting this new business off the ground. There were many others including former Mayor Bob Stutler and Tom Carr of the ML Planning Commission. Teamwork. Sorry if I left your name out!
Finally, I am apologizing to Papa Vick. I missed wishing him a happy Father’s Day in last week’s column. Don Vick is an amazing man who recently had a life changing car accident on March 9th. He spent just over two months in the hospital and was cleared last week to put weight on his leg. It’s been a journey to see his determination to heal and get back to life. You’re an inspiration to your family “Papa” and we love you dearly and are thankful the Lord gave you more time to be with us.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  June 13, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Life is an adventure. I’m blessed to have a wife of 34 years who loves me and deals with all my quirks with such grace and beauty.
That goes both ways. Oh, the stories I could tell that would completely ruin this column!
Ronda is not just my wife. She’s my best friend. We get to be together every day. It’s a fairy tale (at least for me!) Of course, we too ride the roller-coaster that is life, but we do it with our hands in the air most of the time.
June 17, 1988, two 18-19 year old kids said “I do,” and it was off to the races. To that union three amazing children, two daughter-in-laws, a son-in-law and 6 grand kids have entered our world. 32 of those 34 years have been spent building a home, raising a family and building a business together.
I am a blessed man. I love you, Ronda. Happy Anniversary!

Our engagement photo from 1988

 

KWIBS - From  June 6, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

We finally got around to recognizing our law enforcement community in Barber County.
Our original plan was to have a group photo, but the logistics were impossible.
The story on the front page lists those on the front lines as well as those who are behind the scenes. One person I would like to take a moment to thank is Dispatch Manager Kristine Landwehr.
Kristine recently took over the dispatch news and it now, more closely than ever, represents the hard work our LEO and EMS do each day. Read it on pages 4 and 5.
I’ve worked with most all of those named in the article. This year marks my 18th year as a bondsman and bail enforcement agent in Kansas and I love working with these people.
There are others in court services and those who are part of the judicial system that are really, really behind the scenes, but play equally important roles in keeping our community safe.
Also on the front page is the progress of the mural at the corner of Main and Kansas. This is going to be a great addition to the art that is already present in both the north and south parts of the county. I am enjoying watching the progress.
And finally.....
We just had another birthday! Today’s issue marks 31 years of publication! It has been our honor to serve Barber County.
We can’t do it without you! Our readers and tipsters around the community help bring you news of what’s happening. I encourage you to reach out with your stories and share your happenings with us and all who love our communities.
Ronda and I have spent 31 years of our 36+ years together, working side by side and it’s easy when you love what you do and love who you do it with.
So many years ago, we were the youngest publishers in the State of Kansas. Now we’re a little older, maybe wiser, but we’re still here - thanks to you!

KWIBS - From  May 30, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I love to brag on my buddy Nix White. He and his Wife, Wendy, went to Trump International last week and Nix’s FrogX team jumped into the event.
Nix also got to meet our 45th President, eat at the Trump’s table and mingle with his kids and their spouses.
Trump made small talk with Nix and asked, “Do you get nervous before you jump?”
Nix, in classic form said, “No. I get nervous about landing. I would sure hate to eat it in front of a former president.”
The Whites and Trumps had a fun afternoon at the famous Golf Club in West Palm Beach, FLA. Good thing too!
Ronda and I were planning a surprise trip to see them. I was about to click “buy” for the tickets when I heard back from Wendy that they weren’t home!

KWIBS - From  May 23, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I’m back, whether you like it or not! That’s a little joke. I got pretty backed up last week and had to give up my space.
There’s a lost art when it comes to writing letters. Nothing means more to me than to get a hand written letter or card in the mail. My wife will tell you that I’m a hoarder when it comes to keeping cards and letters. I have a stack of them next to my monitor. That sort of makes it sound like I get a lot, but in actuality, it’s about a 30 year collection.
The younger generation just send texts or instant messages. If you’re lucky, you get a legible email. My kids send emojis after I carefully hunt and peck out a text message.
I got a real nice letter in this past week and I wanted to give a shout out to James W. Graves. The letter meant a lot to me because it’s not every day that someone takes the time to hand write a compliment. So, thank you Mr. Graves. You made my day.
The world seems to be short on supply of everything. Baby formula is the newest toilet paper. You just can’t get it and people need it. You can’t get it unless you cross our southern border illegally and then you can get as much as you want.
That’s a pretty sad state of affairs if you ask me. I don’t know who to blame, but it’s not just formula. I paid $7.49 for a bolt and drove 60 miles at $4/gal last week to get it.
While there (not naming names), I tried again to buy our resort a new lawn mower. The ones we use just don’t exist anywhere. I was told, like the 6th time, it will be November before I can get a new mower.
I don’t need a mower in November. I need it now. I started looking back in October and couldn’t get one. Waiting until November of this year for a lawn mower is like waiting to buy snow shoes in July.
Mayor Pete needs to spend less time trying to act like a mom and fix supply chain issues. I wonder if he can get formula or if he’s breast feeding?

KWIBS - From  May 9, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I believe we are truly living in bizaro world.
President Biden’s administration is still talking about student loan forgiveness.
I’ve got a few questions.
First, when will we stop the madness of student loan forgiveness and focus on colleges who have billions of dollars in endowments and pay some extremely high salaries to administrators?
Second, who will be paying off these debts and how?
Third, does anyone teach economics anymore or is it just AOC?
$10,000 or $50,000?
According to CNBC, Canceling $50,000 for all would cost around $900 billion, and leave 80% of current federal student loan holders with no balance, according to a recent study by The Federal Reserve Bank of New York.
At the moment, the main point of contention among student loan forgiveness proponents is over how much debt should be scrapped.
I have the answer: NONE. You borrowed it. You pay it back just like we did.
If Uncle Joe is opening this door, I want reparations for things like my student loans, the items I bought to start my business, my vehicle loans because without them, I can’t get to work! Let’s not forget mortgages. Those are such a burden and unfair. While we’re at it, let’s stop paying so much to the IRS! Forgive those debts, Joe.
Instead of teaching our children the importance of borrowing and paying, we are teaching them to be dependent on the government for everything.
There’s no such thing as a free ride. Somebody has to pay back this debt. This is a bribe for votes.

KWIBS - From  May 2, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Everyone on the left seemed to have a meltdown last week when entrepreneur and billionaire Elon Musk bought Twitter, except me, I guess. I lost interest in Twitter after Trump got canned for “mean tweeting,” which basically is what Twitter is all about.
Another lesser-billionaire and tech savvy guy, who just happens to own the Washington Post, spoke out against Musk’s take over of Twitter, agreeing with the pundits that it would crush free speech. That was Jeff Bezo. That was his right to say under the 1st Amendment. Nobody censored him.
So you’ve got two billionaires who like to fly rockets, arguing over free speech. Both claim to be “protectors of the 1st Amendment,” which protects five basic freedoms: speech, religion, press, assembly, and the right to petition the government. Together, these five guaranteed freedoms make the people of the United States of America the freest in the world.
But only a handful of people at Twitter decide who gets to speak and who doesn’t and which topics are acceptable and which are not. In most cases, these censorships have just happened to lean in the favor of the left.
Musk has been clear on his intentions to make Twitter an open source and fair platform stating, “By “free speech”, I simply mean that which matches the law. I am against censorship that goes far beyond the law. If people want less free speech, they will ask government to pass laws to that effect. Therefore, going beyond the law is contrary to the will of the people.”
In response, the White House announced Thursday that the Biden administration will create a ‘Disinformation Governance Board’ to combat disinformation in the 2022 midterms.
Wouldn’t that have been a handy board to have when all of Hunter’s laptop stories were suppressed by Twitter in the 2020 elections? The thought police are not finished here.
Have a great week (unless that’s disinformation).

KWIBS - From  April 25, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

“Let’s go see Foreigner,” I said over five months ago.
Ronda was all in. It’s one of our favorite groups, even though Mick Jones never comes to the smaller venues anymore.
So we bought a bunch of tickets and a couple of weeks ago we realized it was on Easter weekend.... Oops.
We had to cancel our Easter weekend festivities with our family, so we could spend it with our friends.
Jesus, forgive us.
We are now trying to reorganize and have Easter on May 1st.
The weekend with our classmates and spouses did not disappoint, but I am still trying to catch up on sleep.
Nix and Wendy White flew in from San Diego Friday night. If you don’t know Nix, you might have seen him sky dive into Main Street during Peace Treaty for the past 4 events. Nix, Wendy, Ronda and I never miss a chance to cram as much into a three-day-weekend as possible. We’ve been doing mini-get-aways for 30 years now. We even flew home from San Diego the day they gave birth to one of their daughters!
We picked up Jamie and Michelle (Delano) Chism, another classmate, Saturday afternoon and we all headed down to Newkirk for the concert.
The MLHS Class of 1988 is a tight class. We all pretty much keep in touch and we get together regularly to see each other.
This short trip didn’t allow enough time for us to organize a bigger get together, but it will happen.
Many of you can relate, as you get older, you grow fonder of your friends from your high school years. I’m no different. I believe those bonds are strong and even though we hold dear to those memories, we are always looking to make new ones.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 18, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

True Grit.
It’s the name of a couple of western power thrillers (one with John Wayne), fitness and strength training equipment.
None of my younger readers will even understand this, but as a kid, I sold “Grit” newspapers to about 60 customers in town. Grit displayed news and features aimed at rural America.
A person with true grit has passion and perseverance. Goals are set and followed through. A person who works really hard to follow through on commitments has true grit. It is not a word you hear very often anymore.
But I know a guy..
My father-in-law, Don Vick, is the perfect example of someone who demonstrates “True Grit.”
On March 9th, he nearly lost his life in a terrible car accident. He remembers nothing of the accident, but he’s been in the hospital since then. Thankfully, he and the other driver survived, but not without life-changing injuries.
With the help of skilled surgeons, his left arm and right leg are now plated and screwed back together. Just within the last few weeks, he’s been able to slowly stand on his good leg with the help of nurses and therapists.
Every day he gets a little stronger. I saw him stand for the first time just under three weeks ago. He shook like a baby calf for about 10 seconds and then had to be helped back down.
Today, he can use a walker to “hop” about as far as they will let him go and if we are lucky, he’s about to go home!
Our family would like to say a special thank you to our local hospital. You think of hospitals as a place to go when you’re sick, but in Don’s case, it was to recover. They have been so great in all areas from getting him here, pain management, transportation to and from Wichita, and their PT/OT is probably the best in the state. Without their help, Don would not be where he is today. Look for him to be writing and golfing very soon!

KWIBS - From  April 4, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t think I’ve ever watched the Oscar’s, but if Will Smith or anyone else is going to make habit of punching Chris Rock in the face, I might consider watching…
During the ceremony on Sunday, Rock apparently made a joke at the expense of Jada Pinkett Smith, Smith’s wife. Smith strode onto the stage, struck Rock across the face and returned to his front-row seat, where he twice yelled, “Keep my wife’s name out your f---ing mouth.”
Even though I am not a fan of the Oscars, Chris Rock or random acts of violence, this story did interest me. It was made for TV “black on black violence”. If a white actor would have gone up and slapped Chris Rock, there would have been a SWAT team repel from the ceiling, grabbing the offender and locking him up for a lifetime.
One of my buddies said, “Well, at least Chris Rock didn’t make a joke about Alex Baldwin’s wife....”
According to new polling, 3 in 5 Americans disapprove of Will Smith’s slapping of Chris Rock. The other two must have thought he should have used a closed fist I guess.
The only polling I ever remember seeing on TV was the commercial for Colgate where “4 out of 5 Dentists approve using Colgate toothpaste. I never understood what the other guy was thinking. Maybe he had dentures.
In a world of hypersensitivity, comics and the ultra famous elite, something like this was bound to happen. I feel bad for both Chris Rock and for Will Smith. Smith has been one of my favorite actors and Rock, well, he obviously has a strong chin.
Two things are for sure: Chris Rock made a bad joke and isn’t that funny, and Will Smith should have waited in the parking lot for him after the Oscars to slap him, like a real man.
It was Chris Rock’s job to be a comedian, presenter and host, not Will Smith’s. Both of them are probably having regrets for the evening. The rest of Americans continue to yawn.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  March 28, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

When you hear that inflation is up 7.9% in the last 12 months, don’t believe it. It’s much higher than they are reporting.
Pricing for gasoline is a major category used by U.S. Labor Department's Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) in calculating inflation but their volatility is also why they are excluded when the agency calculates core inflation rates.
So, a 38% increase in fuel isn’t calculated? Well, yes, it is when it comes to shipping, which translates into higher costs of goods and services.
This 7.9% number still doesn’t make sense to me. It’s like common core math for Department of Labor I guess. When a can of freon (R-410A) costs me 3x as much as it did a year ago, that’s not 7.9%. When fuel is 38% higher, that’s not 7.9%. When most food has seen a 20-30% increase, that’s not 7.9%.
According to the Internet here’s how you calculate CPI: “You will subtract the starting price (A) from the later price (B), and divide it by the starting date (A). Then multiply the result by 100 to get the inflation rate percentage.”
Well, that was simple now wasn’t it?
I believe our inflation is a direct result of bad policy on energy. Pipelines don’t “produce” oil and gas, but they transport it cheaper than truck and train. Nearly every pipeline application has been turned down by the current administration and the average American is paying a lot more than a 7.9% increase in the cost of living.
It’s a supply and demand issue when it comes to oil and since we are no longer the world’s leading producer, we will bow down to those that are. So instead of creating this commodity that puts people back to work and drives down energy prices, we are now looking to Venezuela, Iran, Saudi Arabia and Russia to help us with supply issues.
Somebody write a letter to the editor if you have a different view on this, to help us all understand.

KWIBS - From  March 21, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Because we were gone last week, I was out of the loop on a few things. A gentlemen came into my office to tell me my friend and fellow Publisher of the Coldwater Western Star was in the hospital at St. Francis and had a quadruple bypass last week.
It dawned on me, we were all at St. Francis at the same time and I could have visited him, but did not realize his situation, so I called him.
He answered the phone, “Western Star,” with a drawl that he’s famous for.
I asked him if he was still in the hospital and he said, “Nope, I’m behind my building, getting ready to jump in the car and go home for a nap, but I’m back.”
I read his paper. His one staff member, the publisher of the Protection Press and friends from Spearville, KS, all joined forces to put his newspaper out in his absence.
I can tell you from similar experience, that is a publisher’s worst nightmare: not being able to put the paper out. We are held to a minimum of 50 newspapers a year to keep our postal permits and to publish and be “official city, county, school and governing bodies,” newspapers in Kansas.
The headline on his front page was, “It Ain’t Pretty, But It Reads Well.”
Dennies Andersen has been a friend for more than 40 years and was one of the people we turned to when we started our newspaper over 31 years ago. We rib each other pretty hard, so I want to do it again in my column.
Dennies, you’re rag has never been pretty and has never read well, but you’re the best Coldwater has, so I guess you’ll just have to do!
Seriously, he’s taught me a lot over the years and he’s a good guy who likes to joke around. I’m glad he’s recovering well and that the “news” continues in small town Kansas!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  March 14, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Two families’ lives changed at 9:15 a.m. Wednesday morning.
My Father-in-Law Don Vick was in a really bad car accident this Wednesday south west of Wichita on 42 and 135th. A young 19-year-old girl didn’t stop at the stop sign and Don hit her passenger side with no chance of braking. She underwent multiple surgeries and was in critical/stable condition. We don’t know how that family is doing.
Don was admitted as serious and stable, although the Kansas Highway Patrol said “critical” on their report. Both were taken to St. Francis. He has broken ribs, his right leg is broken, his left arm is broken, he has staples in his head and his right hand is stitched up. He received a unit of blood and after CTs and stabilizing him, they scheduled him for surgery at 7 a.m. the next morning. He’s full of metal now, but is stable.
Because his blood pressure is low and they couldn’t give him much pain medication, he was very uncomfortable.
When we got the call, we shut the office down, picked up his wife Linda and left for Wichita, not really knowing much. The KHP was wonderful! *47 on your phone. They directed me to where his car was towed and they were able to give us some details about the accident.
Don was awake when we got there and was concerned about two things: the food in the back seat and his golf balls. We knew he would be ok since he was concerned about his golf balls!
We went to the salvage yard and got everything we could. The impact was so hard that it broke his key off in the ignition. I’ve seen some pretty terrible accidents, but I’ve never seen anyone live through an accident like that.
Don was concerned about the three meetings he covered last Monday. He wasn’t going to get them into us. I told him not to worry and that “he was fired.” He squeezed out a painful laugh. Since he probably can’t get us those stories, he made the front page this week. I expect he has months of recovery ahead of him, but we are thanking the good Lord for being with both of them.

KWIBS - From  March 7, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

If you don’t think the Russian’s war against Ukraine isn’t important or worthy of American intervention, you’re wrong. It is proof that freedom could be lost for millions of people because good people did nothing.
“Captain Ukraine,” President Volodymyr Zelensky, a former TV comedian, in the past few days, has become a global symbol for democracy. He has become the face of Ukrainian resilience. Zelensky is a leader that has truly united people across the globe.
His courageous response to an offer of evacuation by America was exactly what this nation was founded on. He said, “The fight is here; I need ammunition, not a ride.”
As our government works so hard to take guns out of the hands of many law abiding citizens, 70,000-100,000 rifles were distributed to civilians in Ukraine in a single day last week.
We take our liberties for granted. America’s elite want to remove our constitutional freedoms, like speech and our right to bear arms. President Abraham Lincoln probably captured it best when he said, “Freedom is the last, best hope of earth.” It is something we should cherish rather than take for granted.
It’s easy to do, really, since most of us can’t ever recall a time in our lives when we weren’t free. Ukraine understands this better than any of us, since they are such a young “free” country. The freedom that President Lincoln spoke so eloquently about is something we’ve grown accustomed to, something that comes as naturally, and is as expected, as having air to breathe and food to eat.
In the coming days, the air they breath and the food they eat will be choked off as the Russian military squeezes their capitol. Imagine this happening to America.
President Reagan (a WW2 Veteran) once said “no arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.”
God Bless Ukraine
 

KWIBS - From  February 28, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

The class of 1988 was Bud Moore’s first class he had when he became Principal of MLHS in 1984. That’s my class.
As you know, Bud passed away last Tuesday after battling a number of health issues for many years. He fought the good fight and is now at rest. It was a very emotional event for our class, not to mention the community and his wonderful family.
As sad as I am of his passing, memories of him have flooded my mind. My last text message on my phone to him was from January 23rd. I had heard he was taken to the KS Heart Hospital and I wanted him to know I and our class had him in our thoughts and prayers.
Bud and I had a friendship that lasted from the moment I met him as a Freshman. I had the unfortunate luck of landing myself in detention for three days. It was one of the worst experiences of my life and after graduation Bud and I talked about it and to this day, we were still laughing about it.
I got placed in an advanced P.E. class due to scheduling. This class was full of juniors and seniors and was labeled “Jock Class.” I was not a jock. In fact, I was the exact opposite at 110 lbs dripping wet. I was picked on and bullied something fierce.
One day ‘coach’ took us out to the football field. There was this one upper classmate, who I won’t embarrass, who relentlessly picked on and bullied me. On this day I had been shoved to the ground by this near 275 lb. gorilla several times. The last straw was a smack on the back of my head with a football he threw from about 10 yards away.
I turned into the 110 lb. version of the Incredible Hulk. I was angry and was ready to murder my classmate. I kicked an old beat up desk that was used by the gate and ticket takers at the football field, grabbed the biggest piece I could carry and went after the gorilla. I was going to crush his skull, but ‘coach’ grabbed me first and took us both to ‘Mr. Moore’s’ office.
The gorilla went in first. He was in there a long time and when he came out, he exited, through the front door after being suspended, out of school, for 3 days for the assault. Then it was my turn. I was sweating bullets.
“Come on back Mr. Noland,” said Bud. I was trembling.
I was also in there for a long time. I can’t remember a thing he said to me except, “You’re getting three days of in-school suspension.”
I was super torked about that, since I never took a swing or did anything to provoke the situation. Those three days in a room, by myself with an octagon plate where a clock used to be, were horrible. I only saw Bud about twice a day when he’d pop in with work assignments and my lunch. I was in Bud prison and it sucked.
Fast forward to 1988. I graduated and often came back to socialize with teachers and Bud. One day I finally worked up the courage to tell Bud how mad I was for getting in-school suspension for fighting back in 1985 and he laughed and said, “Dude, I didn’t suspend you for fighting. I suspended you for damaging school property!”
We both started busting out laughing.
Ten years later I was back in Bud’s office. He had called me and a new teacher in after the new teacher, Dale McCurdy, and I had a disagreement on some computer issues I was working on at the school. Basically, each of us was about to damage school property and beat each other with the pieces. Bud calmed us down and, ironically, Dale became one of my dearest friends.
Fast forward to near-present day. After 30 some years of friendship, Bud and I had a few beers together in his garage. We talked about the old days and we schemed. During Peace Treaty, Bud played the part of the Southern General Robert E. Lee. I played the Northern General Ulysses S. Grant. For a long time we both held these parts and I always looked forward to Bud surrendering his sword to me after a brief Civil War portion of the pageant. On Friday’s performance in 2018 I put my hand out and said, “Give me your sword.... loser.” We always trash talked each other through that scene, but that’s when the teacher part of Bud came out.
It’s an enduring myth of the Civil War: Robert E. Lee surrendered his sword to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox, and his Union counterpart refused the traditional gesture of surrender.
“Lee never offered it, and Grant never asked for it,” said Patrick Schroeder, historian at Appomattox Courthouse National Historical Park. Bud being Bud said, “I did a little research and you don’t get my sword, ‘General,’” he said sarcastically.
There we stood in this awkward stand off; me with my hands out and Bud defiantly refusing to give me his sword, and he chuckled all the way through the narration.
Bud was also in the signing scene with us. I never understood why a Confederate Soldier was at the signing of the peace treaty of 1867. The war ended in 1865, but Bud somehow slipped in our scene and I didn’t catch it until I became the President of the association in late 2018 and Cathy Colborn brought it up. Bud and I had a good laugh at that too. I missed standing with him during the 2021 performance. Bud’s health was declining.
There are so many memories of that guy, that I could fill this entire newspaper with them.
He was so influential on so many kids’ lives. He even encouraged my son going into the Navy. Bud served in the Navy and on more than one occasion told me the story when he got caught smoking in boot camp, so the drill instructor had him put a mop bucket over his head and finish off the pack of cigarettes!
Bud was a respected teacher, coach, principal, veteran, community and school board member. He was here for so long that 3 generations of my family had him in their lives in one way or another through our school district. I love and respect “Mr. Moore.” He was and always will be my “Bud”.
God bless to his family for sharing him with us. I am a better person because of him and I will miss him dearly.
Rest in Peace “Bud”
 

KWIBS - From  February 21, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Well, I might have missed a Valentine’s Day card, but at least I remembered my wife’s birthday, with an actual birthday card.
We went out to dinner with friends Monday to celebrate our love for our spouses. Traditionally, Ronda doesn’t like me to buy cards or flowers, so I didn’t, but my buddy bought his wife a card.
Only it was a birthday card. Her birthday is in September by the way.
I totally understand the dilemma. I recently got my eyes checked and got new lenses. Now I start my day off feeling drunk and wobbly until my eyeballs adjust.
I can’t see anything close up with my glasses on and absolutely nothing far away with them off.
“Oh, heck no! I don’t need bifocals,” I said.
I need bifocals.
My doctor wasn’t pushy about it. He did remind me that I’m in my 50s and lots of people have bifocals and get colonoscopies at my age.
I really don’t understand how a colonoscopy will help my vision. That seems like the wrong and long way to my eyeballs, but he’s a doctor and I’m not.
So when I’m dialing my phone my glasses come off. When I’m driving, they are on, or should be, or you should avoid me.
When the Super Bowl half time show came on, I took off my glasses. It didn’t help, so I turned down the volume, which is strange because I was told I needed hearing aids. I don’t think that would have helped me listen to the half time show. To each his own on entertainment.
My buddy needs bifocals too because he read several cards, put the ones back he didn’t like and selected a lovely “Happy Birthday” card for his Valentine.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  February 14, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

His obituary, written by himself, says “Charlie would like to be remembered as a quiet guy; who kept to himself a lot.”
Well, I’m going to tell you that’s just not true!
Charlie DeGeer (don’t misspell his name, or he’ll write you a long letter to the editor), passed away last Thursday. He was “the Midnight Voice of the Barber County Sheriff.”
I worked with Charlie for over a decade as a bondsman. I would go in during the way night shift and there would be this awful Cajun music playing at almost unbearable decibels coming from his station.
I was greeted with an insult and a joke several times a week and was a huge fan of how he made dispatching interesting and almost entertaining. After he retired a few years back, I tossed my scanner in the closet.
Every April 1st, Charlie would put an entry into the dispatch report of something like “Barber County Sheriff responded to a UFO crash on River Road.”
Years later, I attended several burns with Charlie and Vaughn and I took a lot of abuse from Charlie for wearing shorts to burn pastures.
I remember one time back in about 1994. I had purchased a green Chevy S10 pickup from Bowe’s and was proudly driving it up Main Street when I apparently ran a light. I was in the back alley of my building and he pulled up, honked and yelled, “Nice red truck!”
At first I didn’t get it, but then his dry humor set in and I realized he was referring to me not knowing what my colors were. I had those stop lights torn out about 20 years later just because of him (kidding.... but that’s what I told him).
To know Charlie, was to love him. I hated the day he retired from the Sheriff’s Office. That day was a punch in the gut. I will miss that voice even more now than when it was just on the scanner.
Rest in peace Charlie
 

KWIBS - From  February 7, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Got up Wednesday morning to snow.
I hate snow.
I hate winter.
I hate being cold.
Enough of my frigid rage, I’m taking it out on Punxsatawney Phil. That stupid rodent saw his shadow and declares 6 more weeks of winter.
Several years ago I put out a hit on Phil. I used this dude named Mayor de Blasio and he totally messed up the hit. He was in Staten Island and dropped “Staten Island Chuck,” who at the time, also predicted 6 more weeks of winter in 2014.
He hit the wrong groundhog.
“I tried it, it didn’t end well, I won’t be back,” de Blasio said with a hearty laugh, joking that the event is the “highlight” of his year.
De Blasio infamously dropped Staten Island Chuck – played by a 10-month-old female groundhog named Charlotte – several feet during the 2014 proceedings when she crawled up his glove-clad arm. She died of “internal injuries” a week later.
How could he have messed it up so badly. Needless to say, I didn’t pay him and cut off all ties when he pulled the push to ban large sugary drinks in New York City.
Anyway, back to Phil. Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow Wednesday, meaning that if you believe in a groundhog's ability to predict the weather -- we're in for six more weeks of winter. I didn’t really need to know because I ran into Jim Colborn at Red Dirt Jack’s on Tuesday we were casually speaking about the weather. I asked him if it was going to snow and he put it simply, “count on it.” He’s more accurate than the National Weather Service.
Though Phil has no meteorology degree, every year on February 2, the United States, except for me, tunes in for his prediction. I usually don’t get up early enough for that event. It’s not even in my top 100 things I’d like to attend.
You’re probably (not) wondering, what is in your top 100 bucket list events you’d attend Kevin?
So, Google, Emma Crawford Coffin Races and Festival. I know, drastic switch in topics, but every October in Manitou Springs, CO, people dress up like the dead or Emma herself and race coffins down nearby Red Mountain.
Emma Crawford came to Manitou Springs in 1889 searching for a cure for her tuberculosis in the area’s famed cold-water mineral springs. Her dying wish was to be buried on top of Red Mountain. Unfortunately, Emma succumbed to her illness in 1891. Her boyfriend, with the help of eleven other townspeople, carried Emma’s coffin up the 7,200 foot slope and buried her near the summit of Red Mountain.
In 1929, after years of harsh winters and spring rains, Emma and her coffin came racing down the mountain side. The young children who happened upon her remains found only the casket handles, a nameplate, and a few bones.
We talked about going in 2021, but the COVID cancelled the event.
Maybe this year?
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 31, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Did I miss something?
Voter-ID laws continue to get a lot of attention, and proponents of the law are being drowned out by opponents claiming the laws discriminate against certain voters.
Rather than getting IDs to the people who are supposedly disenfranchised, opponents spend their efforts trying to end the laws, even though polls consistently show overwhelming majorities of voters approve of the laws.
Below are just some of the examples of things you need to prove your identity for:
1. Purchase alcohol
2 Purchase cigarettes and vapes
3. Opening a bank account
4. Apply for food stamps
5. Apply for welfare
6. Apply for Medicaid/Social Security
7. Apply for unemployment or a job
8. Rent a house or apply for a mortgage to buy one
9. Drive/buy/rent a car
10. Get on an airplane
11. Get married
12. Purchase a gun
13. Adopt a pet
14. Rent a hotel room
15. Apply for a hunting license
16. Apply for a fishing license
17. Buy a cell phone
18. Go to a casino
19. Pick up a prescription
20. Hold a rally or protest
21. Donate blood
22. Purchase a “Mature” rated video game
23. Purchase nail polish at CVS
24. Purchase certain cold medicines
So, so many more..... But not to vote???
 

KWIBS - From  January 17, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

Well, I called it and exactly one year later, we’re still talking about it like it was something so horrible that our country was nearly destroyed and Democracy lost forever.
The great January 6th Insurrection. Or as I like to call it: just another January 6th, but with Trump supporters.
But if you use the Google machine, you’ll read that it was an “armed insurrection, an attempted Coup of our Government, worse than the civil war, as bad as 9-11 and a day that will live in infamy, ”
Seriously, this was like Pearl Harbor, the Civil War and 9-11 the II?
One year ago, I wrote a column about how ridiculous this was and one year later, we’re still watching and hearing about it. Shut up and move on. There was a peaceful transfer of power and now we have a vegetable in the White House.
When Trump won, people marched in the streets screaming, disrupting business and the flow of traffic in major cities, some wearing hats that looked like vaginas. Nobody called it an insurrection. Most called it stupid, as was January 6, 2021.
Sorry to get political, but we often just need a dose of reality and I have friends who are Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians and simply A-Political in nature, but I think Dr. James Veltmeyer said it best in a column he wrote on January 12, 2022.
“The Democrats will not let go of Jan. 6 because it now appears to be the High Holy Day of their secular religion which carries an obsession with the 45th president of the United States that rivals praying to Mecca multiple times during the day. It can be safely stated that if “January 6” and “Donald Trump” were removed from the vocabulary of the Democrat Party, they would have as little to say as senile Joe Biden at a news conference.”
But, CNN reported (by the way, their viewership fell by 80% from one year ago), “Violent attacks by Trump supporters,” and “A dangerous and volatile situation caused by Trump radicals,” and “Insurrection.” One person was arrested for carrying an unlicensed gun and six people were charged with assault, including one for assaulting a police officer. No one ever asked or reported what party affiliation they were from, but even CNN’s footage of people inside the Capitol showed many people who didn’t have any “Trump” attire on. Some wore masks and there was obvious damage and at least one woman shot and died, why, we still don’t know. Don’t forget her name - Ashli Babbitt.
It’s a fact that Federal prosecutors have charged more than 700 people in more than 45 states with participating in the Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol, and arrests continue almost daily. Some have still not gotten a day in court. The majority of those arrested have been charged with assaulting police officers with flag poles and trespassing - things that you’re released for without bail in NYC.
A man named Devlyn Thompson got 46 months in prison for his actions that day.
Thompson took part in the rioting for nearly three hours on Jan. 6, during which time he assaulted a police officer with a metal baton. He also tried to throw a speaker at the police, but missed and ended up injuring another rioter.
Thompson later pleaded guilty to assault with a dangerous weapon. In December, Federal District Court Judge Royce Lamberth sentenced the 28-year-old Thompson to 46 months in prison with credit for time served, along with 36 months of supervised release and a required payment of $2,000 in restitution.
Looking back, we certainly don’t see much evidence of any kind of an armed revolt against the duly-constituted government and how does a good revolt get off the ground without arms? There were no tanks or armored personnel carriers on Capitol Hill that day. I don’t recall seeing F-16 fighters circling the sky or missiles being fired at the Capitol dome. I certainly didn’t see an organized army storm the building, guns blazing. If this was an insurrection along the lines of what we have seen in other countries at various times, it was the weakest in world history.
Trump did not ask or direct anyone to crash Congress. He called on them to march “peacefully and patriotically” to protest, which is every American’s right under the Constitution. Martin Luther King also marched on Washington in 1963 and anti-Vietnam War demonstrators marched multiple times in the late 1960s and early 1970s, not to mention the famous Million Man March of 1995.
You know what I did observe over the summer of 2020 in cities like Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles and New York? Violence and chaos, no order, even deaths. Police largely let these things happen under the orders of many liberal city mayors. CNN reported that those protests were, “mostly peaceful,” as buildings were on fire in the background.
There was a lot of order in dispersing that crowd of supporters of the protest against counting the electoral votes. Did you see that happen over the summer 2020 during riots?
We’re also still talking about voter fraud and integrity. We want to “federalize” that process now. Well, not all of us want that, but those in power want to stay in power, so that just makes me shake my head.
From my column one year ago: “Many media outlets hold to their headlines that there was no voter fraud, yet you’ll see evidence long after Trump leaves office. We have seen that evidence and we keep seeing more. I know someone personally who is registered in Kansas, but flew to Arizona to vote as well. She voted absentee here. This person even bragged about how easy it was.
Would there have been a different result? I doubt it. I said a year ago that I don’t even really care. I do care - more than ever.
I said, “ I’m not excited about a Biden-Harris administration, I will wait and see before I judge it.”
Well, I’ve judged it and it is terrible. More people have died of Covid under Biden than Trump, inflation is off the charts, the border is a serious crisis, our energy independence was destroyed over night, crime is up and news conferences are down, oh and Afghanistan is in shambles. I’m running out of space, but you get it, even if you voted for him. Just be honest. I was. I did not vote for Trump in 2016, but I did in 2020.
Of course, no president is entirely responsible for what happens in America, but for a team that touted unity from their basement bunkers, a bolstered economy, a basic understanding of foreign policy, and “building back” what’s been lost, Biden’s first year was as bad as I thought — if not worse. But hey, we got rid of the mean tweeting orange hair guy.
Don’t cancel your subscription. We can have an honest discussion. Your letters to the paper are welcome if you can defend this administration with a straight face.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 10, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

For a variety of reasons, mainly the “C” word, we had to cancel our New Years plans with friends. We opted instead, to sit on the couch and binge watch Netflix. The day before it was 64 degrees and we played outside and then Saturday brought a new year, wind and freezing cold temperatures.
I was deep into a movie (code for sleeping) when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was Tom Walters. Tom never calls me and so I thought, I wonder who is in jail that Tom knows or is TOM in jail?
No, Tom nor anyone else was in trouble, he just had a story to tell me. He and Melody were flying home when the airlines had the holiday meltdown and thousands of flights were cancelled. Tom and Melody had split up on different flights and she had made it home earlier than Tom, but while waiting for a flight to Wichita in Dallas, Tom ran into someone I knew, Paul Rhodes, Publisher of the TSnews and longtime colleague in the newspaper business.
As we all know Tom, he wasted no time making friends at the gate. He met Paul and Kim and probably hundreds of others. He even gave up his seat so that Paul and Wife Kim could sit together.
I need a Tom every time I fly because I either lose a bag, have a flight delay, have flights cancelled and end up in a sleazy part of Houston or, my favorite, get tossed into a tent with TSA agents. That’s another column. Anyway, I usually have a bad experience when flying, like the time my uvula swelled up after a food allergy and I could literally spit it out into my hand. That’s also another column. Simply put, it’s always good to have a Tom around when you’re away from home and there is uncertainty in the world. Tom is a comforting person to talk or listen to, unless he’s in the announcer’s box at the football field cheering for the away team, but he’s just that polite!
Paul is a traveler. I know this because I read about all the places he and Kim fly to and wonder how he puts out a newspaper in between vacations (just kidding Paul, that’s just jealousy sneaking its way into my column). He’s used to canceled flights and missing luggage, or in Tom’s case: missing luggage and wife, but the story has a happy ending.
Melody was waiting for Tom at the airport in her van and Melody, Tom, Paul and Kim all jumped in, only missing one checked bag.
Yep, Paul and Kim jumped in the car with perfect strangers (emphasis on “perfect”). Since Paul and Kim had missed their original flight, they also lost their ride back to Goddard.
So Tom was just excited to call me to tell me about meeting Paul and living in such a small world. I told him, “You’ll make the TSnews this week.”
I was right. The headline for Paul’s column was “A big world made small by flight cancellations.”
In his column he describes his encounter with Tom and then with Tom and Melody and then how this news would eventually reach me and then Medicine Lodge. We shared a couple of emails and I told him I would wait for his column to come out and hit my desk on Thursday and would follow suit by writing about it too.
Yes, it’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.
- Steven Wright, Comedian

KWIBS - From  January 3, 2022 - By Kevin Noland

I hope you all enjoyed Christmas and had a happy new year!
Our holiday got off to a little bit of a rough start. One of our kids and his spouse picked up COVID right before they were to travel to Denver.
Both of them were disappointed, but not seriously ill, thankfully. Christmas day was just beautiful outside, so we had them come and sit outside at our picnic table and we brought them presents and made them Christmas lunch..... to go of course!
So, our family Christmas photo is a little weird this year, but you should not expect the normal from our family.
My poor Mom called a day later and had taken a COVID test and it came back positive. A couple of days later, Ronda began feeling ill. Two negative COVID tests later, she must have just had a bad cold or a mild flu. Either way, she was pretty miserable and I did my best at being her nurse, but I’m never as good as she is.
After everyone thinned out, my son-in-law and I grabbed our waders and went to set beaver traps. The day before we had broken down one dam to release some of the backed up water . It was pretty deep the day before, but was about knee high Saturday. I got half way across a creek holding a loaded trap and suddenly lost my balance in the mud and fell. I had enough sense to not trust all the safety latches and squeezed the trap in a way it couldn’t go off on my hand.
Miguel helped me up, very cold water had rushed in over my waders and now my socks were soaked. It wasn’t such a nice day out afterwards. I eventually warmed up and we finished up.
Some of our kids’, nieces’ and nephew’s gifts got mixed up in the bags. Little do they know they got someone else’s gifts. We’re not saying which ones. I just kept looking at Ronda and laughing through the exchange.
My favorite line from the day before from her was, “I just hate wrapping gifts.”
I looked at the tree and said, “You didn’t wrap any dear. They’re all in sacks.”
She grabbed my arm and dragged me to the one gift under the tree that she had wrapped. In all fairness, it used to be my job to wrap the gifts and I’ve somehow passed that off to her.
 

KWIBS - From  December 27, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

This is it! The final edition of 2021 Barber County news.
Despite COVID still lingering, our county has had a good year.
My person of the year is very unique. She’s one of the smartest people I know and I could not have left the leadership of Peace Treaty in better hands.
Joscelyn Nittler is my choice for “Premiere’s Person of the Year.” Nittler is a life-long resident of Barber County, but for her years of college and short stay in the Big Apple while her husband showed off his wears, or lack there of (Sorry Joscelyn. I could not resist. You’ve made plenty of jokes about me.)
She is a business woman in the community for more than 15 years, highly respected, involved in her church and the community, the project manager for Barber County Cares Recovery Fund, the representative of South Central Kansas Leadership League. And she loves Peace Treaty!
She represents the next generation of leaders in our community. I’m happy to call her my friend.
? ? ? ?
2021 was a special year for The Gyp Hill Premiere. What was started in the kitchen of our farm house, has grown to be a product that Ronda and I are proud to own and operate. The Gyp Hill Premiere turned 30 years old in June. I’ve had many people help us along the way and our only wish is to represent the county in the best way we can.
Thank you to my wife, Ronda, for keeping this office organized. Thank you Aimee for bringing your talents to the editorial staff. Thank you to my mom, Joyce, for being the eyes that see our mistakes. Thank you to my father-in-law, Don, for covering meetings. Thank you to my sweet daughter, Breeann, who juggles six children and still makes sure the paper is mailed out each week. Finally, thank you to my oldest and longest serving employee, Ellis Mayfield! Now in his 90s, he began driving the newspaper for us when he was in his late 60s! Ellis is the best and never lets us, or you, down when it comes to delivering the paper each week. Thank you all and thank you, readers, for your support! Have a great 2022!
 

KWIBS - From  December 20, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

We are nearing the end of 2021. It was a good year and a bad year. That sounded like a Charles Dickens’ rip off, but it wasn’t.
I’m actually looking forward to the holidays, but are the holidays looking forward to me? That’s deep.
Because I think Christ was actually born in the spring, I’m disappointed that we have to celebrate in generally cold conditions. I think baby Jesus would have loved to play in the lake and creeks, ride jetskis and fish. I know he had a thing for fishermen.
I’m not trying to make light of birth of our Lord and Savior. I’m just believing that He was a lot more like us than we give Him credit for. Yes, He is God in man and he carried those attributes with Him to His death on the cross.
He was born of a virgin. He was a baby. Jesus is both human and God at the same time. I suppose that statement implies that he was also once a child since, after all, all human beings once were. This means that Jesus was once both a child and a powerful God-being. I don’t know about you, but I doubt things would turn out well if any child in present times were given the capacity to bend the rules of nature.
With that kind of power, why would they listen to anyone?
Tantrums would turn into ultimatums, and backyard scuffles could have lethal consequences. Maybe this is why the Bible makes little to no mention of Jesus’s childhood?
The most detailed story we get about young Jesus in the current Bible is him ditching his parents to go to the temple. He’s later found conversing with scholars about all things religious. It gave his parents a little scare, but it wasn’t anything obnoxious for a boy his age.
So at Christmas time, think of how good God is to us. Be patient with your children and grandchildren (that was mostly for me).
Most importantly, have a Merry Christmas and include Jesus because we are celebrating Him, even if I think He was born in June. Merry Christmas friends!

KWIBS - From  December 13, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Every year about this time I say to my wife, “I need a hobby.”
Winter is not my friend. Cold weather is meant for penguins and polar bears, not me.
Each year, I have heavily relied on my good buddy Jeff Clarke to come and trap beavers on our ponds. It’s a ridiculously busy job (as in busy as a beaver) to trap these amazing, yet destructive creatures.
This year has been the worst year for beaver damage in the 30+ years we’ve lived out on the ranch. Fields and Sons just temporarily fixed a dam for us last week and in years past, Roger Simpson has saved us from dam-doom on many of our ponds. To say, “I’m dam tired of this,” is putting it mildly.
I’ve used and abused my buddy Jeff and I owe him big time for all of his hard work he has done in trapping. This year though, I decided that maybe YouTube could teach me and my son-in-law Miguel how to trap.
What looks easy, is not.... I bought the right traps and Miguel and I didn’t lose any digits setting the traps, but learned after a few tries that there was a special tool for $30 that takes all the work out of setting the traps. I also bought Miguel waders. I tried to buy myself some, but they don’t make a size short and fat, so I ended up with leg waders that leaves your bottom exposed. I learned not to squat down or you get a cold, wet bum.
In 5 days, we caught three beavers weighing in at 32 lbs, 38 lbs and a 45 lb’er that I nicknamed chubs. He was so big, I don’t know how he got in the trap.
So, I guess we have a new hobby. It’s one that I hope stops soon, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a yearly event. I love wildlife and I don’t hunt, but now I do trap and I’m finding it very therapeutic.

KWIBS - From  December 6, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Last Monday it was 80 degrees outside! I love global warming.
I grabbed Ronda, loaded her up in the Polaris and took her to the outback to check some beaver traps. We didn’t find anything in our traps, so after tromping around in the dirt and streams, we headed back and sat on the dock of our pond. It was just a beautiful day.
At about 3 p.m. Ronda declared, “Road trip!”
I was all in. We loaded up in the truck and headed north. As soon as we hit the Elm Mills road, I went about another 100 yards and turned around. We had never been to Elm Mills. Yes, we manage one of the three lake resorts in Barber County, but had only been to our own and to our neighbors at 99 Springs.
Ronda reminded me Elm Mills was also gated and I told her I had a plan. I picked up my phone and called my friend Mike. I know he likes a good warm day too and chances are, he was out there at his cabin, and as I suspected, he was.
Mike took us on the tour starting with his cabin. Of course Ronda was interested in the homes and the surroundings. I was interested in the engineering of this cool little slice of heaven. We can relate, because we live on our own little slice.
The place was constructed in the late 1800s and was mostly a destination from people in Pratt. Times have changed and there are about 20 cabins/homes there with owners all over the place. Each resort in Barber County has its specialty. Lake Arrowhead is known for boating, skiing and awesome crappie fishing. It’s one of the most remote resorts in the county and requires private membership and home ownership. 99 Springs, also a private membership organization, originally had a golf course in the early 1900s. Now it has great fishing and recreation and lots of room for large gatherings. Elm Mills has a small lake and a swimming area. It even has a famous rope swing and water slide. It too had a large area for public gatherings.
One thing almost all three of these places have in common, is there low profile. None of them advertise, almost every house is occupied (I only know of one house at all three resorts that is even for sale.) Another thing we all have in common is that the appraiser’s office loves to visit us! :)
Factually, Lake Arrowhead is the largest and costly resort at 83 acres of surface water and 300+ total acres of recreation area it has the highest price yearly membership of about $1,200. 99 Springs has the most members and the cheapest memberships at around $600 a year. Elm Mills was only around $750 a year. I would say it has true community spirit. They have no care taker. They all just pitch in and help keep the place nice. Both 99 Springs and Elm Mills are HOAs with boards. Our resort is privately owned since 1966.
All display the beauty of Barber County.

KWIBS - From  November 29, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

It’s always been my intention to do a Christmas card. We seem to talk about it, plan it and then never execute.
In our defense, try working around 14 people’s schedules. The last time we had an actual family photo was back in June of this year at Joey and Haley’s wedding. That was almost 6 months ago and little Ensley was only 6 months old. She just turned a year old last week. A lot changes in 6 months, so we just haven’t scheduled a “family photo.”
Long gone are the times when you could buy a hundred of identical Christmas cards from the bargain bin, scribble a quick generic message inside and be satisfied that you have played your part in spreading the Christmas spirit and seasons greetings to neighbors and friends.
These days the possibilities are endless, and the bar for personalized Christmas cards has been set high. Nowadays, nobody enjoys anything generic, so the popularity of family photos seems to have gone through the roof.
Several years ago, we actually did try to do a family photo. I had set up a shoot with a local photographer. She did an amazing job on our outdoor shots. We decided one more shot by the Christmas Tree would do it for a Christmas Card. As our photographer was helping adjust everything, she got snagged in our Christmas Tree and it came crashing to the ground, scattering ornaments all over the living room and forcing laughter on everyone after a tiring day of photography.
We never mailed out a single Christmas card though. I do so appreciate those who do and I hope they understand, we’re just not that family!

KWIBS - From  November 22, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t want to mislead anyone, but it’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed Thanksgiving.
Let me explain. Owning a weekly newspaper is complicated. It’s further complicated when a holiday falls on our deadline day. It doesn’t mean a day off of work. It means shoving that work out an extra day.
My family will tell you, I’m sort of a grump at Thanksgiving.
I’m going to do better this year! After suffering from the two week flu, I’m getting stronger, but I’m also behind on about everything I do. This year is special though. This year, my son Joey and his wife Haley are doing the heavy lifting. They’ll be hosting and we just have to bring a side, a chair, an appetite and as Haley reminded me, “A grateful heart.”
I needed that reminder.
In a not so certain world, with so many problems, it’s incredibly hard to see the blessings right in front of me. Haley’s text message reminded me of that. All of our children now are married off and we have 6 grandkids. Both Ronda and I are blessed to each have a parent left (Great-Grandparents!). Our kids are all working and healthy. Our family is growing and we are blessed beyond belief.
Life might be complicated for a lot of us right now, but we have so much as Americans. It’s too easy for us to lose sight of that.
Thanksgiving will be a time for us to reflect and give thanks for all that God has given us.
Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

KWIBS - From  November 15, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

The greatest generation.
I was fortunate to know many of Barber County’s WWII veterans. Sadly, most of them are gone now.
Approximately 240,329 of the 16 million Americans who served in World War II are still alive, but we are losing them quickly. Many in their late 90s will be gone in a few short years.
Ronda and I watched the movie Midway this past weekend. One of Japan’s main goals during World War II was to remove the United States as a Pacific power in order to gain territory in east Asia and the southwest Pacific islands. Japan hoped to defeat the US Pacific Fleet and use Midway as a base to attack Pearl Harbor, securing dominance in the region and then eventually securing surrender from Japan.
June 4-5, 1942 US troops at sea and on Midway continued their attacks, forcing the Japanese to abandon the battle and retreat. The Japanese lost approximately 3,057 men, four carriers, one cruiser, and hundreds of aircraft, while the United States lost approximately 362 men, one carrier, one destroyer, and 144 aircraft. This critical US victory stopped the growth of Japan in the Pacific and put the United States in a position to begin shrinking the Japanese empire through a years-long series of island-hopping invasions and several even larger naval battles.
My son Nick has been home from Okinawa for 1 year now. He was able to attend his first Veterans Day program put on by the schools. It’s finally sinking in how significant his service was. We still have bases in Japan and on Okinawa’s islands. Nick spent 3 1/2 years there. That time passed very quickly and our family is so thankful that he’s home now.

KWIBS - From  November 8, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

You can’t be serious... Opossum Part III.
I was laying in bed Monday when my phone rang.
I’m pretty sure I had a conversation with Stephanie Marshall, but I was on my 6th day of flu and fever, the kind of flu that rocks your world. Four days of fever at 103, trembling, sweating, not eating and so many trips to the bathroom that I hadn’t cracked a smile for fear I would lose control of all orifices at once.
It’s the hardest way to lose 15 pounds and drop to your last notch on your belt in one week. I don’t recommend this diet program at all. The food is terrible: pudding, jello, Ensure, scrambled eggs and chicken noodle soup.
Back to that phone call...
Stephanie was, well, sort of livid in a fun way? I don’t really know, but it was about the opossum that had escaped my clutches the Friday before in front of Daryl Schiff and Martina McBride. The little critter climbed its own tail and bit me before I dropped it. I was wearing leather gloves, so I wasn’t hurt, but startled. Then that little guy or girl, I didn’t check, shot across the street towards Rick Swayden’s office before it disappeared under Stephanie’s truck.
I walked over and looked and didn’t see it, so I assumed it had sprinted up the sidewalk and went around the alley.
But I was wrong.
Daryl Schiff had offered to rehome the rascal out near Sharon before I lost him.
Thankfully, it did get rehomed. Only, it got rehomed somewhere on the undercarriage of Stephanie’s truck.
With my limited recollection of the conversation, I think this is a pretty close account as to what happened.
Stephanie left work sometime Friday afternoon and unknowingly to her, she had a stowaway. When she got home, she pulled her truck into the garage and probably did woman stuff after that. I’d have to ask Tim for sure.
Over the weekend she was tending to the yard and opened the garage to find some sort of rake or shovel, that part I can’t remember, and she saw the little opossum run across her floor. Being the farm woman she is, I believe she screamed out in fear and went and found Tim, but I don’t really remember.
Maybe a day went by? I can’t remember that either. I’m sure the entire family was sleeping from suspended ceiling beds or hammocks in their homes in fear that he would climb up and eat them, but probably not. That’s probably not how it went. I think she saw it again the next day, grabbed a piece of firewood and pinned it to the ground, grabbing it and launching it out of her garage and out to freedom!
I’m thinking as she is ranting, “how did she know this was my opossum and not another one?” Then it hit me. Oh ya, I wrote about that in my column last week.
So, I owned it. “Yes, that was probably, inconclusively, our pest problem.”
“Well,” she said, “You could have at least come over and told me that it was under there!” There were some inaudible noise and perhaps cursing in that part of the story, but we are a PG paper, so I won’t repeat. (It’s all good. She was laughing and I was laughing.)
In all fairness, I did walk over, got down on my hands and knees and NO OPOSSUM here, so I went back to my conversation with Daryl and Martina and then went back to the office.
So, sorry about that Marshalls, but they are excellent for the ecosystem and will eat up all the ticks around your house.
And....
If it comforts you to know. We now have the smell of something decomposing in our office and we’ve torn the building apart looking for the cause. This story could turn out to be a made for TV special before it’s all over.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 1, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Opossum: Part Deux
As you read last week, we caught a baby opossum in our office.
Later in the week, we got a panicked phone call from my mom who had just had another baby opossum run across her feet in the composing room.
So I came to the office and started the search. After moving an old copy machine, there he was staring at me and hissing. I held him to the floor with a broom and then grabbed him by the tail and decided to go release him, but first I wanted to march him over to the bank where my Daughter-In-Law Haley works. I didn’t let her see it until I got to the window and said, “I need to make a deposit,” holding the little dude up.
Despite the fact that she was behind, what is most likely bullet proof glass, she must have thought the opossum could scratch a hole through it and attack her.
I said, “Haley, open the drawer or I will put him in the tube and shoot him inside!”
Dale Lonker was watching, and like the bank Ninja she is, Haley reached up and sucked the cartridge back inside before I could even get over there. It was impressive. She should be commended for thinking on her feet like that.
Little did I know, Daryl Schiff and Martina McBride were coming through the drive through as I was teasing Haley with this critter. I got out to Kansas Street and Martina yelled at me and said, “What is that?”
I calmly responded and asked, “Don’t newspaper publishers in Nashville wander the streets with baby opossums where you live?”
Just about that time, the little dude climbed his own tail and bit me on the palm of my hand, but I had gloves on. It startled me and I dropped him. He promptly started heading over to Rick Swayden’s office when Daryl said, “Oh, just grab him and put him in my truck and I will take him towards Sharon.”
Despite my efforts, I was unsuccessful and now comes a confession.
Stephanie Marshall’s truck was in front of Rick’s office and it went under the truck and scaled a front tire into the engine compartment.
Since I figured there was no way that thing was going to make it out as far as she lives, I just didn’t say anything to her. There was no need to cause panic!
When I got back to the office, we did a room to room sweep and then I did some research on the internet. Did you know a momma opossum can have up to 20 babies at one time? Gulp!
Would I be finding these critters all over the place over the next days, weeks, months and maybe years? Did my office just become a habitat for opossums?
I have a friend named Jamie Chism who caught two baby opossums and raised them, so I took a photo and sent it to him. He begged me to keep it and raise it, but we don’t do pets anymore, especially ugly, wild ones!
Nope, this guy had to go and hopefully, Stephanie has given him a good home, whether she knows it or not!

KWIBS - From  October 25, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Only a few critters give me cause for alarm and make me want to jump on a chair and scream like a little girl.
Spiders are one of those critters. I was grading roads at the ranch the other day when one decided to drop out of the top of the cab and onto my chest. I nearly beat myself to death and then I had to stop the tractor quickly and exit it and remove my shirt and jump around shaking it in the air. After careful examination, I found that little sucker’s remains on the seat of the tractor. I found a stick and some toilet paper and cleaned up and interred him in the dirt on the ground.
I’m also not a fan of being startled by bees, mud dobbers and yellow jackets, mostly because of my memory reflexes telling me that those actually hurt and they attack. I’ve never heard of attack spiders, but that would be horrible.
Snakes don’t bother me, as long as I’m not surprised to see them. In fact, I accidentally grabbed a good sized bull snake while trying to find the light switch in our shed this summer. I ran my hand across a 2x4 that felt a little off, maybe too soft. When I got to the light switch, I saw her relaxing, all stretched out, with her head pointing the other direction. I’m sure I would have been more terrified if I had brushed the other end.
This time of year, the critters are looking to get in. I caught the biggest pack rat I think I’d ever seen on my porch a few nights ago and he put up a fight even with his head stuck in the trap.
Apparently, we now had one in our office that both my wife and daughter saw. They either just left to go buy some rat traps or gasoline - to burn the place to the ground...
So it’s Wednesday and the girls are freaking out about this giant rat when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I think the rat was now in my office.
This rat looked pretty mangy and moved kind of slow for a rat, so I got up and followed him down the hallway and into the kids’ play room. That’s when I realized, he wasn’t a rat at all. He was a baby opossum!

KWIBS - From  October 18, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Great work President Biden!
Inflation was up 5.4% over last year in September – the highest rate in 13 years. Prices rose 0.4% in Sept, up from 0.3% in August. Gas, food and goods continue to be key drivers of inflation. Used car prices fell slightly but remain 24% higher than last year. But that’s probably Trump’s fault, somehow.
Raise your hand if this is what you voted for when you filled in the circle next to Biden-Harris names on the ballot.
Most troubling for me was during an interview this past week White House reporters questioned the matter and our President turned his back and walked away ending the press conference.
Good for Biden, things are about to get even worse. The world's delicate supply chains are under extreme stress.
The "weakest link" may be the shortage of truck drivers — an issue that has contributed to congestion at ports and caused gas stations to run dry.
We’ve also become energy dependent again. We bow to OPEC instead of using our natural resources. We close down our supply pipelines and give our blessings to Russia to put in their own and we wonder why things are gloomy?
I didn’t start out a Trump fan, but I would take him and his nasty Tweets every day of the week over watching staged press conferences where our president insists that we can’t control our own bodies, unless it is for the purpose of aborting a child.
My rant is done, for now, but surely I’m not the only one that feels this way. Darn, ran out of space to talk about the border crisis..... Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  October 11, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

So I tried desperately not to draw attention to the fact that my birthday was last Monday.
I stopped posts from appearing (unless tagged) on my Facebook page and took the day off to actually do some work around the house. We cleaned out three garages over the weekend and we took our jetskis out of the water and took them to Wichita for service.
Since my friends couldn’t post on Facebook, they called me instead. One particular friend said, “Did you know you broke Facebook today?”
I had no idea what he was talking about.
Facebook experienced another outage. I love that!
The outage started just before noon ET and took nearly six hours before it was resolved. This is the worst outage for Facebook since a 2019 incident took its site offline for more than 24 hours, as the downtime hit hardest on the small businesses and creators who rely on these services for their income.
You know what doesn’t experience an outage? Your newspaper. We work tirelessly to print your news, sometimes to my frustration, everyone is their own reporter now and wants to make sure it’s on facebook. Well, you just can’t always rely on the digital world, but for 300 years, newspapers keep you informed, but it takes a partnership with our readers to stay alive. Small town newspapers have taken a beating since the conception of social media, but we keep chugging along. Remember that post from 2004 about your daughter’s game? Neither do we because it’s gone......

KWIBS - From  October 4, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Another Peace Treaty is in the books!
The past Monday I went to roll out of bed and realized every bone in my body hurt.
After working the week before Peace Treaty and then being on my feet for as long as 24 hours on one of those days, my body said, “Hey Kevin, let’s just lay back down for a while!”
Who’s going to argue with that recommendation?
So that’s what I did, until about 11 a.m. and then I was loading up trailers and working on mowers at the ranch. By 3:30 p.m. it was 100 degrees and even after a 32 oz. iced tea, I was ready for another nap.
So again, that’s what I did!
Tuesday started out better. I put most things away that I had dragged out for Peace Treaty. For some reason, I decided to put about 500 lbs of chain in my truck that all had to be hung back up in the shed, so by noon I was a dripping, sweaty mess with a sore back and ribs and had a window to go get my back worked on before I was to meet 4 semis with 100 tons of rock to spread with my grader.
My trip to get my back worked on was met with hitting something in the highway near Kingman and poking a hole in my tire that was leaking at an alarming rate. No one in Kingman could fix it, or had a tire to replace it. I tried in Goddard to the same results and I finally hit a car parts place that had one of those plug kits. That’s how I made it home, but it’s by no means a professional patch job.
I made it back just as the semis were turning onto the ranch. I fired up the grader and was done in about another 4 hours. So for now, life is back to somewhat normal. I hope it is for many of you after such an amazing weekend!

KWIBS - From  September 27, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Happy Birthday Bree!
My daughter turns another page on the calendar of life on Sunday.
She’s had a pretty amazing year and blessed us with #6 grandchild Ensley!
Growing up out in the country, she spent her early years riding dirt bikes and go karts, going jetskiing, swimming and boating at the lake. She is our first child to bring another generation of kids to the ranch and lake to play, which makes our hearts happy!
So, Happy Birthday to my first kid!
? ? ? ?
Peace Treaty is wrapped up by the time you’ve read this. We call this week the “Peace Treaty Hangover.” Not that anyone actually drank too much, the whole town is just exhausted. Now the work starts putting everything away, finding out how things went financially, what events did well and what events need work. I can tell you that after nearly 30 years involvement with Peace Treaty, no other board has worked so hard to make such a successful event.
With that in mind, THANK YOU for coming, donating your time, energy and talents, for forgiving us where we had short staff or maybe not the answers you were looking for. We did our very best. The board handled the event with so much professionalism. I have thanked each of them personally, but in the coming weeks, I will be naming names! One great team we had was The City of Medicine Lodge Crew. You guys rocked it!
Our hope is, that you enjoyed your time and that more and more people will step up to help keep this event alive in our community. I can’t tell you how many people volunteered, but it was well over 1,000 in one way or another who did donate materials, machinery, money and time and you are all appreciated!

KWIBS - From  September 20, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

This letter is one I wrote for the program of the upcoming Peace Treaty. I didn’t even know I had to write one until I was on my way home from Wichita last week, so I read Rick Swayden’s letter from 2018. It was powerful and professional. I had already started my column for this week and grabbed my notes off of my phone. I’m not scooping the program, but since I’m both president and publisher, naturally, this was on my mind this week.
I thought long and hard how to relay my thoughts and after many back-space, replace and more deletes, I hope I did the president’s letter justice.
This year’s pageant and commemoration of the signing of the treaty of the 5 tribes of the plains and the U.S. government could not happen without the hard work put in by so many people.
I’d like to thank our board and chair people who have dedicated their talents, time and sometimes sanity, to continue this event.
I’d also like to thank our Native American friends who have blessed us in so many ways and taught us the value of their history and customs. They graciously come to Peace Treaty which, wasn’t really peace at all, but a change to their way of life forever.
The treaty of 1867 represents promises made and promises broken.
Our board acknowledges that there was a great deal of misery during this time in history.
“History is Written by Victors.” The quote gets attributed to Winston Churchill, but its origins are unknown. It implies that history is not grounded in facts, rather it's the winners' interpretation of them that prevails. It’s narratives continued influencing many opinions, even being reinforced by Hollywood Westerns.
As a kid, I still remember playing Cowboys and Indians, not Explorers, Expansionists and Natives. It is a new era and we believe we have made great strides over the past decades to honor the Native American participants. We are so excited about the new Powwow Arena at Memorial Peace Park. Credit for this amazing structure goes to the David Colborn family, his committee, those who donated their labor and materials, our fantastic sponsors and volunteers. We hope it will become a place for families of the descendants of the five tribes of the plains to fellowship, dance and to keep their traditions alive on the very grounds their ancestors danced on more than 150 years ago.
You’ll look around and see many improvements that have been made around town and at Memorial Peace Park. These improvements have all been the fruits of money raised by our sponsors and the hard work of so many people. Those names are scattered throughout the program and I’m sure we may have missed a few, but please know how much we appreciate your continued support.
To every board member, chair person, volunteer, the hundreds of participants in the pageant, the powwow participants and head staff, night show actors and dancers, our local museums, craft fair and food vendors, the contestants in the Kansas Championship Ranch Rodeo, its staff and chair-people, the judges and assistants, and our Bulls and Broncs riders, I want to personally thank you for being here and for all you do.
I especially want to thank YOU for attending the 26th reenactment of the signing of the Treaty Of Medicine Lodge and the more than 300 years of history it represents.
We do this with humble hearts and thoughtful consideration to accurately represent our community’s rich history. With that in mind, expect some extra “bangs” and some corny moments during the weekend.
We are glad you are here. Whether it’s your first Peace Treaty or one of many, welcome to Medicine Lodge and Barber County!
Kevin Noland, Publisher
MLPTA President

KWIBS - From  September 13, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Can you feel the excitement building?
Medicine Lodge will once again commemorate the signing of the Treaty with the 5 Tribes of the Plains in just under two weeks!
A LOT of work has gone into this year’s event, possibly more than any other year. There are so many new things to experience, you will want to bring your family for three days of food, rodeos, kids attractions, street dances, the night show reencactments, a brand new Powwow Arena at Memorial Peace Park, wagon rides, parades, a craftfair, muzzle loaders encampments, the Stockade and Carry Nation Home will be packed with events, alumni tent, helicopter rides, a sky diver into Saturday’s parade (weather permitting) and all we need is you, your family and friends!
I can’t even begin to tell you how much has gone into this year’s pageant and festival. Everything at Memorial Peace Park has been transformed into something amazing. If you haven’t been out to see the improvements, go see for yourself.
To stop any rumors, things are still happening on Main Street. The only differences are moving the Powwow to Memorial Peace Park and on Friday night, when the street dance will be held at the rodeo grounds.
We’ve also made this a value added event. For adults - all three days of as many events as you want to take in costs only $35 for a bracelet, children 7-17 pay $15 for a bracelet and children 6 and younger are free!
I just went to www.peacetreaty.org and got my tickets! You should do the same!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  September 6, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

The greatest travesty about our recent removal of troops in Afghanistan is giving a country 20 years of freedom and then just taking it away.
According to our government, in the early days of the evacuation effort, thousands of Afghans crowded Kabul’s airport seeking a way to flee the country. Some made it through without paperwork, while American citizens and visa applicants were unable to enter.
While hundreds of Americans are still trapped inside the Taliban ruled nation, the majority of interpreters and other U.S. Visa applicants were left behind.
In July - among other things the US military left were tens of thousands of bottles of water and energy drinks, as well as meals ready-to-eat, or MREs, the AP reported. There were also some personal items, like a guitar. You wouldn’t want to be caught with that. Troops left thousands of civilian vehicles, including many that no longer had keys, and hundreds of armored military vehicles, such as Mine Resistant Ambush Protected vehicles, or MRAPs, Over 200 winged and helicopter aircraft US forces also left ammunition and weaponry, though most of the heavy weapons were taken by the departing troops or destroyed, the AP has reported, but I don’t believe that. The Pentagon acknowledged that some vehicles were left, but denied that weapons had been left behind. We know now that we did in fact leave enough equipment behind to make the Taliban in the top 85% of an armed country. We’re being told that the majority of the weapons will never function again, but I’m not so sure.
 

KWIBS - From  August 30, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

As September 11 grows nearer, our thoughts should now be with the survivors, the victims’ families, our military and now, more than ever the Afghan people.
Over the past 20 years the mission has never been extremely clear, other than we did not ever want to leave a safe haven for terrorists in Afghanistan. We never wanted to see another 9/11.
I have several friends and family who have served in Afghanistan. I’ve visited with almost all of them about how they feel about our exit and all of them are feeling a sense of remorse, confusion about why we are doing it the way we are and most importantly, they worry about those they left behind.
One particular friend worked with translators. He first volunteered to go there just months after our country was attacked. He was the first person I called after seeing our withdraw going badly. Most of his translators eventually ended up in the United States and have become citizens. Sadly, most of them had family left behind that are now in extreme danger from the Taliban. There was one translator that he was in communication with up until last week. His fate is unknown.
Under our protection and leadership, Afghanistan moved forward 2,000 years. We spent billions of dollars, lost high tech equipment and lost thousands of American lives, for what?
That’s the question that should haunt us. Yes, we needed to end that war and occupation, but the humanitarian crisis we leave behind will endure. Pray for Afghanistan and Americans who have been stranded there. Pray for wisdom for our leaders to do what is necessary to secure their safety and bring them home. Pray for those who now have to live under the Taliban. God forgive us for not leaving in a way that secured the freedoms that we brought their country.

KWIBS - From  August 23, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

I think almost half the county got hair cuts last week.
Every kid around seemed so well groomed and then I remembered - school was about to start.
I remember the days when the all important hair cut set the tone for the new school year. Just before leaving for school, your parents drag you out on the front porch so they can take your pictures for your first day of school.
It always felt like a hostage situation for me, likewise for my kids. They all hated the “first day of school” photo.
Several years ago, many of our friends were posting photos of their kids’ first day photos. Ronda and I decided to take a picture of the two of us holding a bottle of wine with a caption that read, “First day of no more kids in school!”
It got both cheers and sneers.
All of the county’s parents let out a collective cheer this week when their kids started school. I’m hoping it’s the best year of school for all of them.
Many kids, including my neice, didn’t get that perfect prom or graduation last year because of COVID restrictions. Although many adjusted well, many fell behind and being back in the classroom is the only real way they will learn.
If you are a teacher or staff member of our school districts, you are heroes to hundreds of parents, and grandparents, I might add.
Thank you for caring for the little ones and for teaching them to be, not just book smart, but kind, caring and good people.
Have a great school year!

KWIBS - From  August 16, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

So, I rarely ever cheer for cooler weather, but this past week has had me rethinking.
Jumping into my truck Tuesday afternoon, my thermometer flashed 111 degrees. It eventually dropped to 103 as I was driving towards Pratt to pick up parts for a mower.
I noticed I wasn’t getting cool even though I had the a/c down to 60 degrees and my air conditioned seats were on full blast.
I’d been hot all day. I got up early and was putting a new belt on one of our mowers and at one point water began dripping from my forehead. Then I could feel it running down my back, and before I knew it, I was drenched in sweat.
It seemed to never let up and my lack of a/c in my truck left me in a constant state of dampness.
Don’t pity me though. I drove past countless farmers, ranchers and oil field guys doing their work in the heat of the day. These are the heroes that keep our lights on and food on the table. I’m just a guy who was trying to make sure we could cut the grass.
I thought about how hard they work and how easy most of us have it inside in the a/c. I usually get to work inside Wednesday and Thursday all day and Friday morning. The rest of the time, I’m working at the ranch. Luckily, the tractors have a/c. It’s not great, but it’s better than nothing.
One trick that I’ve found to work, is to take a dishcloth or hand cloth and keep it in a cooler of ice water. Grab it and wrap it around your neck or head. When it dries out, rinse and repeat. Sounds old fashioned, but it works for me!

KWIBS - From  August 9, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

In our target market, there are 19 full and part time jobs being offered. Many of these jobs have been advertised for weeks on end.
Facebook is also flooded asking people to fill out applications. I would guess if you are a living, breathing human being wanting work, it’s out there for you. Many of these advertised positions are very good paying jobs.
We don’t have a job shortage. We have a worker shortage. We are not alone. Across the country you’ll see HELP WANTED signs everywhere.
It is true that a sliver of people would rather stay home for a few months making as much, or more, from unemployment than they would defrosting meat patties or answering phones.
It’s a concern shared by independent business owners worried that their efforts to bump wages and increase benefits aren’t luring in the workers they need as Covid-19 restrictions fall and consumer spending soars. We’re seeing that same trend in Barber County as sales tax figures show spending is up.
But we’re not filling jobs.
Good things are happening here on the economic front, but without skilled workers, we may find ourselves in a pickle.
If we do attract workers we boost our own economy in so many ways: Properties are purchased or rented; our schools’ enrollments increase; sales tax is generated from local purchases and our local hospitals see more patients.
The U.S. Census Bureau’s Household Pulse Survey, finds that roughly 10 million people who rely on jobless benefits will lose them on Sept. 6. And another 10 million will see those benefits drop by $300 per week if Congress allows the Federal Pandemic Unemployment Compensation program to expire.
I say, let it expire. Get people back to work.

KWIBS - From  August 2, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I were spending our last day in Denver after our son and daughter-in-law’s wedding when we met an interesting young lady who works for the “Denverite” as a free-lance columnist and writer.
I heard her ask the bar tender where the women’s bathroom was and I said, “Follow me,” which is kind of a weird way to start a conversation, but Ronda had just gone there and I was on my way to her after tabbing out.
Since we were both in the business of journalism, we struck up a conversation and I quickly learned she was very liberal in her thoughts and writing. I had no problem with this and actually enjoyed the lively conversations. She also seemed to enjoy meeting a conservative to ask questions of.
“Rebecca” mostly worked on stories that involved gun violence. Even though she is only 23, she has travelled the world and was quite intellectual. She was quite surprised that I am a licensed Surety Agent and Bail Enforcement Officer in Kansas. She had recently reported on police reforms in Denver and the rising use of fire arms by both law enforcement and criminals.
Bail reform was a high priority for her. I shared statistically how catch and release programs are leading to higher crime rates in many cities across the country. Even crimes involving felons with weapons were being released on no bail situations.
At that point in our conversation she asked me how many guns I owned and I was honest with her. My answer surprised her and she asked, “why so many? You can’t possibly shoot all of those or need them to protect yourself.”
I asked her, “how many pairs of shoes do you own?”
She smiled and knew exactly where the conversation was heading.
Her investigative reporting uncovered at least five fatal shootings since May by Denver Police Officers. More than 25 officers were either suspended or on desk duty while investigations continue. George Floyd protests last summer stirred “mostly” peaceful protests in her city. Although an oversight citizen driven committee was formed, it had no leader and gun crime was still on the rise.
Our subject later turned to the legalization of recreational marijuana in Colorado and how it had affected Denver’s homeless population. On almost every street corner you find a dispensary and at least one person holding a sign that reads, “Need money for weed.” Some were at least trying to play a musical instrument and take tips, but most just wanted free weed!
A friend of mine recently moved back from Colorado to Kansas because of the liberal policies that are overwhelming the state’s resources and the rise in crime.
Near an art district in downtown Denver also shares a location of a make shift homeless city that was once a beautiful park. Tarps, tents and trash littered the streets just within sight of nice restaurants and bars. In speaking with a bellhop at our hotel, he warned us not to go past the block to our east. He said just the day before there was a shooting and he frequently sees people having sex in the park, out in the open.
These things just blow my mind and make me so thankful that I live in a place that is usually peaceful, but we have our problems too. It was a pleasant conversation and I am a fan of her writing, even if I don’t share her views.
She probably has too many shoes and I probably have too many guns, but we did agree that we all have much work to do to unify us.
It was a step outside my comfort zone, but I’m glad I took it.
 

KWIBS - From  July 26, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I are big western TV fans. We both grew up on Bonanza and in our early marriage, we grew fond of the TV series “The Young Riders,” a show about the early years of the Pony Express. The show, fictional in story, but fairly accurate historically expresses the hardships of both the Native Americans and the Settlers looking for a better way of life.
I’ve know for years that I have ancestry linking to the Cherokee and Osage tribes.
I learned recently that my great-great-great-great grandmother Nancy Beaver, Weddle, Lewellen was full blood Cherokee. She married Alexander Weddle, “the half-breed” son of a white trader and an Osage Indian mother. Alexander was killed in battle during the Civil War leaving Nancy with three small children. (“half-breed” was how he referred to by his family.)
Backing up, The “Removal Act” of 1830 empowered the United States to forcibly relocate Indians from states wishing to do so, to the West of the Mississippi River. This lead to the “Trail of Tears.” During 1838-1839 4,000 men, women and children from a group of 15,000 died and were left on the trail as they were herded like live stock to Oklahoma where many later starved because no food was provided for them.
Nancy Beaver’s family (and others) escaped the “Trail of Tears,” fleeing into the wilderness where Nancy’s mother soon gave birth to Nancy somewhere in Georgia in 1832. They made their way to Chillocothe, Ohio area.
After Alexander’s death, Nancy remarried Alexander’s Army Commander; a man named Felix Lewellen. Felix’s wife had also died recently and he had children at home also. He moved Nancy and the girls to his home and they eventually married.
The war was hard on Felix, a native Virginian. Slavery was coming to an end in Virginia. So Felix picked up the family and his slaves and moved to Missouri, but shortly after that, Felix had a meltdown and was committed to the Asylum at Nevada, MO where he remained until his death.
Our family journals talk about Felix never getting over “losing” the war.
A newspaper article confirmed, “Anticipating greater troubles, Jacob Beaver (Nancy’s father) decided to move his family to Missouri to make a new home away from the white settlers. This decision spared the family the indignities and hardship of the force removal of the sourthern tribes by the government in 1837 on the “Trail of Tears.”
It would be another 30 years and dozens more treaties before the 5 tribes of the plains Indians would sign the 1867 Treaty of Medicine Lodge. Even this treaty did not end all wars and conflicts between the Native Americans and the Settlers.
We call our event “Peace Treaty.” Most everyone knows the beginnings of our “Peace Treaty.”
In 1926, the newly formed Medicine Lodge Indian Peace Council Treaty Memorial Association invited Kiowa Chief
I-See-O to Medicine Lodge to locate the exact spot of the signing of the 1867 Peace Treaty. I-See-O was 18 years old at the time of the Medicine Lodge Peace Council. He located the exact spot where the treaties were signed, one-fourth to one-half mile south of Medicine Lodge just below where the Medicine River and Elm Creek intersect. Thus began plans for the first ever Medicine Lodge Indian Peace Treaty Pageant.
Index Editor and Owner J.C. Hinshaw described the town’s excitement by saying, “As time nears, it is evident that everybody in Medicine Lodge and surrounding country will be afire with enthusiasm concerning the celebration.”
Presently, “celebration” isn’t a term we refer to when talking about our communities event and rich history. We do speak of our Native American friends, and in many cases, family, with the utmost respect for their culture and participation.
I’m sure it wasn’t always that way, but the boards I have served on for nearly 30 years have worked hard to repair relationships with those who were here before we were.
On Sept. 29, 1927, Editor Hinshaw printed the first ever Peace Treaty Special Edition. Though long before modern technology, Hinshaw managed to publish a 32 page edition and had to turn some advertisers away. There and then, he set a precedent that is still being followed today.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  July 19, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

So I did something out of character a few weeks ago.
I got a haircut.
To the average person, that’s just something they do, but for the majority of my life, I’ve had long hair, usually pulled back in a pony tail.
It’s never really been about a statement - having long hair. It’s actually because I was too lazy to go to the salon and get a hair cut. Maybe lazy isn’t the right word. Busy sounds better to me.
I had cut it off in my 30s for a period of time out of necessity. I had slid under a vehicle I was changing oil on and got my hair wrapped up in the creeper wheel. I was alone and stuck to the floor and my option was a pocket knife, so I sawed it off and then went and got it trimmed.
I grew it back.
A few years later it was long again and one summer I was riding the jetski and it was wet and tangled up and I couldn’t even get a brush through it, so I cut it off again, but this time I just used the hair clippers I was cutting my kids’ hair with.
I kept it short for about 10 years and then for Peace Treaty 2018, I grew it back out and put it back in a pony tail and that’s the way it was until 3 weeks ago.
Joey and Haley were about to be married and I wanted to look like a respectable grown up, so when Ronda slipped out of the office, so did I.... to the hair salon.
Aubrey Bolton was like, “Are you absolutely sure Ronda wants you to do this?”
I assured her it was fine and I left the office only telling Aimee that, “I was running an errand.”
Ronda came back and must have had some women’s intuition because we had ridden in together and my truck was here. She knew I hadn’t gone far because I’ve had a persistent back injury. She looked up and down the street until she saw Aubrey’s car and walked in and caught me.
Haley and Joey had already left for Colorado, so when I arrived, it was a surprise. I have to admit, it feels really good not to have to mess with it in the morning and I use a lot less shampoo!

KWIBS - From  July 12, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

A couple of weeks ago our entire family attended Joey and Haley’s wedding in Denver.
The venue was actually in Golden, but Ronda and I chose to stay at the Historic Brown Palace in downtown Denver at the suggestion of Steve and Suellen Bryan.
I can’t tell you how amazing this old building was.
I can’t tell you how weird Denver is.....
Please understand, that if you live in Denver, I mean no offense towards your city, but the traffic is horrible at about any time of day. Going 4.8 miles took us 45 minutes one evening.
Every time we got in the car, it was white knuckle driving. Ronda did all of the driving, as I injured my lower back about a week before we left. She was a trooper though. Between her and Siri, we found our way around, but the night before we left, we decided to just ditch the car in the parking garage and go on foot.
Within a block, we saw beautiful hotels and buildings, homeless people with signs that said, “need money for pot,” marijuana dispensaries and spas and oh, it was “Pride Week.”
Pride week is a celebration of the gay and LGBT community. I missed that on my calendar and I guess Medicine Lodge didn’t celebrate, but I don’t want to ramble about it and be seen as a bigot.
As we pulled out of Denver the next morning, we could smell the pot growing farms from inside our car at 75 mph going on I-70. When traffic thinned and the mountains were gone, it was just flat open roads. We both took a deep breath and realized that there’s no place like home.
I like my fish bowl in Barber County. I like the fact that when I leave work, I pass through 2 stop signs and I get to our ranch in about 10 minutes. Denver is weird, but I’m sure they think we are weird too!
 

KWIBS - From  July 5, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Back in the early 1990s, we joined a cooperative to bring Internet to several rural communities across Kansas. I knew nothing about the Internet, accept that Al Gore had invented it and he must have known it was going to be big based on his projections about global warming and such, so we jumped in.
One thing I did was register multiple domain names, thinking they would be hot commodities one day. At one time I had like 20 “www” addresses floating around. I still have like 7 of them left and 8 email addresses, which is totally ridiculous, but trying to wean off of a couple, but I occasionally find that people are still sending me importing emails to them like, “Russian women want to meet you; Help is here for your ED problem; Health and Horoscopes; and Can you really carry 40 languages in your pocket?”
All these are mixed in with actual important things like legal publications and actual news content. Then there things I’ve set up like Amazon Prime, Netflix and Apple Music that are all on different accounts, why, I have no idea, so I’m helplessly trapped with multiple email accounts. I feel like Hillary Clinton, except, less sinister and I don’t smash my Blackberry with a hammer or have my hard drives wiped clean. I may want to consider that with the whole “Russian woman want to meet you” emails I get.
The days of people walking in the door with news has dwindled since email. That’s good and bad. I enjoy visiting with folks, but it’s also nice to have things emailed to you so you don’t have to retype it!
Having 7 email accounts means that I usually don’t get any actual work done until I filter through like 300 emails a day. I’ve gotten pretty fast at deleting the garbage that my spam filter misses, but I occasionally delete something I need, like my flight passes last Friday for our son’s wedding! Glad I took a screen shot before I hit delete!

KWIBS - From  June 28, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Right about the time some of you are reading this, Ronda and I are traveling home from Denver.
Our last son was married off to Mrs. Haley Nicole (Gomes) Noland on Saturday, in what I can only imagine of this writing, to be the perfect wedding in Golden, CO.
Since we had to get the paper done so early, I full court pressed Aimee and her awesome writing skills. I rushed Ronda. I begged for things to come in early. I even stayed late at the office and graded roads at the ranch after dark with the headlights on.
Trying to predict how to do a newspaper in the future is no easy task. Of course, Joey and Haley gave us an entire year’s notice, but still, you just don’t know what will happen the week of a newspaper, and as my wife will tell you. We don’t miss deadlines unless we are dead....
One time I was in the Kansas Heart Hospital and Ronda was nervously waiting for me to recover from a stent surgery. She finally checked me out early. My cardiologist was not impressed and we had to sign a bunch of paperwork, but we made our deadline.
Rewinding from this planning stage, our original plan was to get the paper done on Thursday evening, get it to the press, get the online edition done, get the digital subscriptions done, postal reports, and all the other stuff you don’t really care about - you just want your paper!
So we sent our car out with Ronda’s dad to leave at the airport, Deb Kolb acted as Uber for us and took us to the airport and if all went well, we made our flight, got to Denver, checked into our hotel and drove to Highland Ranch for the rehearsal dinner, just in time to meet everyone before Saturday’s big day.
See how hard it is to write about something that hasn’t happened yet? It could end up being an entirely different column next week. I could be telling you we missed our flight, the dinner and drove a rental car all the way to Denver all night long.
The good news is, we have a new daughter-in-law and a happy son. Life is good.
Have a great week and a great 4th!

KWIBS - From  June 21, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Well, this is the BIG week for my son Joey and his Fiance’ Haley. They are getting married in Golden, CO on Saturday.
Because of this, our office will be closed Thursday-Tuesday as most of our staff is family and we’ll all be making the Trek out there towards the end of the week.
Joey and Haley share the cutest love story, as I would tell it.
Joey had completed round one or two of FHSU and had gone back to work for the White’s family grocery stores. He came to Ronda and I after a year off of school and said he wanted to go back.
Joey admitted to his mother and I that although he wasn’t the greatest student in the world, he needed to go back and, in his words, “find a wife.”
Secretly, he had already picked one out, he just hadn’t told her yet. Joey and Haley had become friends after meeting in church.
They would “happen” to run into each other at the Church Coffee Shop on a regular basis where Haley volunteered some of her time working and Joey just loves a good cup of “Joe,” thus his name. (Yes, we named him after coffee and in honor of Jo Meador and my Grandpa Joe).
There was only one flaw in this soon-to-be fairy tale: Neither of them had the courage to tell the other one they liked each other in, “that way.”
This went on for an unseemly long time. We even gathered some family and friends and took Joey out to dinner to have pep talk to encourage him to tell the girl!!!
He finally did, and she felt the same. As of the next writing of KWIBS, we’ll have a new daughter, sister, aunt and Joey will have a wife and student debt to prove it!
As, I joke, I also am so blessed to know how these two will be an amazing couple who will bless Ronda and I with grandkids: 4 boys and 2 girls. Wait, that’s what I want, maybe not what they want!
Joey and Haley, I love you and I pray your marriage is as wonderful as ours. Congratulations!

KWIBS - From  June 14, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

June 17, 2021 marks our 33rd anniversary!
Not many can say they’ve been married 32 years when they got married at 18 and 19. I was just one month out of high school. We’ve been blessed with three children and, so far, 6 grandkids. Now in just two weeks, my oldest son will take the hand of his bride to be.
So what’s the secret to a successful marriage?
I would say, keep your mouth from outrunning your brain. That’s a joke. I would actually say, laugh a lot, love a lot more and remember Proverbs 5:18: May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
Ronda is not just my wife. She’s my best friend. We get to be together every day. It’s a fairy tale (at least for me!)
I am a blessed man. I love you, Ronda. Happy Anniversary!
 

Our engagement photo from 1988

 

KWIBS - From  June 7, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

30 years ago Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere in our living room and dining room of our 3 bedroom farm house.
Thank God we had two living rooms because one was set up as a print shop. Our basement had a darkroom set up.
There wasn’t a plan. I had just resigned from the Index two weeks before that to pursue our printing business, but a persuasive group of businessmen convinced us to start a local newspaper to the community.
So between the bank and a loan from Ronda’s Grandma, we knocked out the first actual edition in July of 1991. Through the years the original volumes and issues system failed us and we got off on our numbering, but who is counting? Well, we are. This is Volume 30, Issue 1 (probably closer to Volume 29, Issue 48).
Not many people get to say they were the youngest newspaper publishers in the State of Kansas’ history, but we were. I was 20 and Ronda was 21.
Over the years, I got my experience growing up in my grandpa’s, uncle’s and dad’s print shops. I was not interested in the newspaper business, instead I was a printing press operator.
I had actually had a lot of experience in all areas of newspaper and commercial printing. It wasn’t until 1990 that after my dad had moved away and sold the Index that I was thrust into the business unexpectedly.
Some of the people who helped us over the years that were behind the scenes were people like Coldwater Publisher Dennise Andersen; Kingman Publisher Bob McQuin, Protection Publisher Bob Greer, Kiowa Publisher Rex Zimmerman, Belle Plain News Publisher Sam Clester and camera and darkroom guru Dave Gerstner of Dave’s Pizza Oven in Coldwater. Later on Ellis Mayfield became our driver and still is to this day! He was 69 years old when he took the job!
Dave, Rex and Dennise are all that are left after 30 years. We’re thankful for these folks who helped us get to where we are today.
No other newspaper cares more about Barber County than we do. We are fully invested along side you and through medical conditions, births of children and grandchildren, inclement weather, break downs and lack of help. Not once did we not print a newspaper.
There were some really long days that faded into each other over the years when we were still doing dark room work.
As Aimee interviewed us, we reminisced about all the amazing people we’ve had working for us. My mom has been a typesetter and proofreader (a darn good one) for our entire life of The Gyp Hill Premiere.
Our friend and now Library Director Doris Sorg stuck it out for 17.5 years without killing me.
I think of the antics of hiding in trash cans and jumping out to scare her, or constantly blowing an air horn when she’d come into my office. I think about my cattle sorting stick that sits next to my desk, just waiting for people to miss deadlines and I go casually poke them and ask them to speed it up!
After doing all of that to her, Doris still gave me like a 3 month notice that she was moving on.
Then there was my friend Dave Fasgold who was almost always late and one day decided to show up to work wearing a 3 piece suit and holding a glass of wine in one hand and a brief case in the other at 11 a.m. on deadline day.
He also quietly would sneak into my office and blow a trombone in to the back of my head for kicks. Come to think of it. I should have fired that guy!
Practical jokes are a part of being in this office. Eric Larrison lent my father-in-law a life sized Trump cut out and he was famous for being in the bathroom with the light off waiting to surprise the next user. It was usually Ronda.
In 30 years of publishing the news in Barber County we’ve seen the good, the bad and the ugly, but our goal is to always show and report the good, cover the bad and report the ugly when it happens.
We look forward to many more years of service in Barber County and we thank our readership for staying with us and growing with us!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  May 31, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

If you are reading this on publication day, it’s Memorial Day.
This day of remembrance happens on the last Monday of May when we honor the men and women who died while serving the United States military. Interestingly, it was called Decoration Day as it originated following the Civil War and only became a federal holiday in 1971.
Many Americans observe Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades. Unofficially, it marks the beginning of the summer season, or in my case this past week: monsoon season.
We have three important summer holidays at Lake Arrowhead: Memorial Day, Independence Day and Labor Day. Every good day is a holiday at Lake Arrowhead. These are just the ones that I can usually count on: rain, equipment breaking down and me being exhausted the week of and after.
As predicted by the weather people, we had a 0-100% chance of me getting behind because of lack of cooperation by mother nature. She let me have it about 6 days in a row and, as anticipated, two of our three mowers decided they were having a holiday. I’m thinking of having a memorial service for at least one of them very soon.
The actual Memorial Day is a special day for us to remember our loved ones, those who served and those who did not, but are no longer with us.
It’s holiday to honor the service of men and women who have passed away. Thankfully, I have two veterans still in my life: My Son Nick and Father-In-Law Don Vick. My dad has passed away, but was also a Navy Veteran.
Nick recently completed 3.5 years of his 4 year service with the Navy on one of the most important islands captured by the Americans in WWII. 12,500 men and women died in the Battle for Okinawa. The Okinawa campaign lasted 82 days, ending on June 22, 1945 and witnessed some of the highest casualty rates of the war, across both combatants and civilians.
Never forget the sacrifice of so many throughout so much war.
 

KWIBS - From  May 24, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Doctors in India have urged people not to smear themselves with cow poo in an effort to ward off coronavirus. Medical officials said there is no scientific evidence behind the practice and warned that it risks spreading other diseases.
In the western state of Gujarat, some people have turned to cow shelters to cover their bodies in cow dung and urine once a week, in the hope that it will boost their immunity or help them recover from the virus. Cows are considered sacred in India, with the animal a symbol of life and the earth in the Hindu faith. For centuries, Hindus have used cow dung to clean their homes and for prayer rituals, believing it has therapeutic and antiseptic properties.
As people wait for the poo and urine mixture on their bodies to dry, they hug or honor the cows at the shelter, and practice yoga to boost energy levels. The mixture is then washed off with milk or buttermilk.
This past week, I finally got around to teaching my granddaughter Baylee how to ride her little gas powered Yamaha 4 Wheeler. This very same motorbike was her mothers when she was about the same age. After sitting for years, I had to replace the seat and the carburetor and battery to get her to spin up. She runs like a finely tuned sewing machine and coming in at 80cc, it will actually take my butt up the hill!
After begging for hours to take the little 4 wheeler out of our yard, I gave in and we all took separate vehicles down to the shed. I worked on a lawn mower and Ronda watched the kids playing where our children used to play growing up near our farm house.
After a few minutes of racing through the pasture, Baylee came in to the shed crying. She had gone through a pretty fresh pile of cow patty that flicked up all over her green tennis shoes, legs and all over the freshly cleaned up 4 wheeler.
I got her calmed down and rinsed off and I told her, she no longer has to worry about coronavirus!

KWIBS - From  May 17, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

I love DIY projects and hacks found on YouTube.
For almost two years I’ve had an issue with a Honda engine that shuts itself off when it’s not perfectly level. It’s a silly thing to have when it’s on a spray rig on the back of a UTV. I have to get off and start it so many times after it stalls, that I had to replace the recoil on the motor. Which is another DIY story... gone bad, but I will get there.
So I look up how to bypass the low oil shut off on the GX160 and a nice young man, who posted a 7 minute video, explained how to unplug it. I seriously think he could have done it in about 30 seconds, but Honda had to throw a commercial in there and he really wanted that air time on simply unplugging or clipping the wire.
The recoil was a different story. Imagine breaking your rope to start your lawnmower and ordering one to replace it. You get the box and the pieces don’t look anything like what you just took off. What do you do? Well, you go to YouTube and type it “Honda GX160 Recoil Replacement.”
This dude’s part looked just like the one I took off, but the new one didn’t fit at all, even with a hammer. I fought it and fought it and then finally realized, I only needed the rope. So I pulled the rope out and put it on my old recoil. Then I realized I spent $40 for a piece of rope.
Everything seemed fine until I went out to Jeff Clarke’s to burn the next day and after my second stall, I pulled the rope, the engine started, but the rope didn’t go back in. That’s ok. I had a 10 mm wrench and popped it off to rewind it, but it was then that I discovered my spring had broken.
A couple of us tried unsuccessfully to take it apart, but ended up breaking 3 screwdrivers in the process.
So while in Wichita this week, I stopped where I bought it and asked for another one. They didn’t have it, but they had a display model and I convinced the guy to let me take it off. I even told him what wrench I needed. I got to the front counter and was charged $96!!! They told me that it was a Honda OEM price. By the way, it’s garbage and I will be lucky if it lasts me the rest of the season!

KWIBS - From  May 3, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

The struggle is real!
After having bail bonds classes last week, we jumped into our billing week. We also remembered it was the Graduating Senior Edition, which is nearly the most difficult paper to make for the entire year.
If not for the preparation work by Cheri Dohrmann at MLHS and Meagan Henry at SBHS, we’d never get this done! Thank you ladies for all your hard work in helping us recognize and congratulate the 2021 graduating classes in Barber County!
Since this is our 3rd year to cover South Barber, I’m getting to know the names of these future leaders from both the north and south parts of the county. I’m a firm believer that the old “line” does not exist for my generation. I have so many friends from all over the county, that I believe we are all friends and family.
Good things are happening all over the county. I hope this entices some of these graduates to consider coming home once they complete their secondary education choices. I read every single graduates’ profiles and we have impressive kids in this county.
Congratulations to the classes of 2021 and best wishes for your futures!
You’ll also notice that the Medicine Lodge Planning and Zoning Commission has approved Dr. Chacko’s micro-processing beef plant. This is a big win for Barber County and there are so many people that worked to see this to fruition. I attended the meeting and was surprised by the support given for this project, considering the first hearing was a disaster. I believe they have chosen the right spot and Dr. Chacko and his consultant Marcine Moldenhauer are a welcome addition to our community and we are very excited to see the plant being built, once the Medicine Lodge City Council approves it.
So expect big things in Barber County. Things are happening in Kiowa and in Medicine Lodge as well as all of the communities of our county that we call home!

KWIBS - From  April 19, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

It was almost exactly one year ago last week I attempted to run a chain saw through my left hand.
I was doing maintenance to all of our saws and weed eaters at the ranch in preparation for spring and I had set a pole saw on my tail gate and started it. As it was running (at full blast), I bent down to start another chain saw on the ground. As soon as it started I looked up to see that my pole saw was falling off the tail gate. It hit the ground and came towards my face.
Instinctively, I put my left hand up catching the spinning chain blade and swatting it to the side. I knew I was hurt almost instantly and made a tight fist that didn’t feel right. I called my wife to tell her I had an accident and was pretty sure I needed to go to the ER. I grabbed some clean shop rags and opened my fist. It was pretty awful. I could see my tendons and I was bleeding pretty badly, so I wrapped it up and started walking back towards our house, a 1/4 mile away. Ronda met me at the top of the hill from the shed and we called ahead to MLMH.
I ended up with 14 stitches and the nurses and the doctor on call did all they could to try and get me into a hand surgeon. Nobody would see me. The good news was - all my fingers were still attached. The bad news was - I couldn’t feel half my hand and could barely move my index finger and thumb.
Today, I still can’t feel the top side of my finger from the nail down. That finger still throbs and my thumb is still numb and tingly. I get shooting pain from nerves that were severed that go from the tip of my finger down my elbow. Thankfully, I have found a medication that decreases the effects of my accident.
Two weeks later, I took out my own stitches and did the best I could to clean up the scar tissue. It really looks pretty amazing and I might have missed my calling as a cosmetic hand surgeon. Nobody would want to use me because I have three tools: a chainsaw, a cuticle trimmer and tweezers. If you need anything beyond that, you’ll need to see a professional. In fact, just go see a professional.
I did finally get in to see a hand surgeon almost 8 weeks later due to COVID. The surgeon said, “I probably would have been able to do something more if you had gotten here sooner.”
I did remind him that his office cancelled two appointments. The doctor was impressed with me removing my own stitches.
His diagnosis was grim. He probably had a slim chance of fixing my issues, but even with that surgery, I would have been in a cast for 8 weeks minimum and had a 20% chance of it being successful . Since I sort of need to use that hand, I passed on the surgery.
Over the past year, I have had to learn to type again and make do with the three fingers that still do work. I can’t play my guitar and bass much anymore either becaues I can’t feel the strings and I push too hard or too softly.
Things like grabbing cups and touching things that vibrate are very uncomfortable. For example. I can’t put my left hand on top of the steering wheel while driving because the road vibration is painful. The mere sound of a chain saw or weed eater running sends me into a panic, yet there are so many areas that I need to clean up.
My son Nick sent me photos of a bunch of new items that Home Lumber is carrying. In the photo was a Milwaukee battery powered chain saw with an anti-vibration handle. Ronda’s new rule as of April 11, 2020 was, “Kevin is not allowed to use the chain saw anymore.”
So when I walked into Home Lumber on Tuesday, I asked to see the saw and surprisingly, my wife bought it for me. My hope is I can use it without much pain to clean up around the yard. I know I’m never going to go out and cut a pickup bed full of firewood again, but this is at least a start!
So I grabbed the manual when I got back to the office to learn about the new tool I had. Lots of safety reminders were scattered throughout the book and then this one photo caught my eye. In the picture below, it appears as though one dude is cutting down a tree and another guy, who obviously should not be there (I could tell by the circle with the slash through it), appears to be running and missing part of his right arm!



So, duh... don’t run near a guy who’s cutting down a tree or you could end up losing your right arm at the very least!
This safety tip brought to you by Captain Obvious, because I’m no one to give safety advice when using chain saws.

KWIBS - From  April 12, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Most news media exists online these days, which is a shame. There's something beautiful about the experience of reading a print newspaper; the fresh ink on your fingers, the smell of newsprint, and of course, the occasional bizarre and (unintentionally) funny newspaper headlines.
Jay Leno used to do “Headlines” on Monday nights, back when late night was funny.
I love these!
- Forecasters call for weather on Monday
The folks at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette make no promises about Tuesday. Enjoy the weather on Monday while you have it because the rest of the week could contain no atmosphere whatsoever.
- Cows lose their jobs as milk prices drop
- Miracle cure kills fifth patient
- Man accused of killing lawyer receives a new attorney
- State population to double by 2040, babies to blame
Is it too late to stop this nefarious plot by babies? They may be small, but they're sneaky.
- Missippi's literacy program shows improvement
This supposed improvement doesn't include being able to correctly spell the state where they live.
- Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive
And in other news, eating, drinking and sleeping helps too.
- Bridge closure date: Thursday or October
Is this like when the cable company says, “we’ll be there between 8 a.m. - 4 p.m.?
- Most Earthquake Damage is Caused by Shaking
Well, that's weird, I thought most of the damage was caused by hurtful sarcasm. You know how mean-spirited earthquakes can be.
- Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop, Find Weapons
- Safety meeting ends in accident
Next time maybe you should have an accident meeting. It's the only way to keep people safe.
- Muddy Creek Problem: It's too muddy
Now if we could just harness the properties of the Medicine River....
- Murderer says detective ruined his reputation
He was a respected member of his community who occasionally murdered people until that meddling lawyer came along.
- Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison
Hold on, let's hear them out. Give us one good reason not to take poison and we'll consider it.
- Students Cook & Serve Grandparents
- Alton attorney accidentally sues himself
It almost renews your faith in our legal system, doesn't it?
- Museums full of history
That’s a great idea for a museum! We should put old stuff in there!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 5, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

“Biden dog poops on White House floor”
That was the headline I saw when I logged on Thursday morning.
Where are the cries for impeachment?
Do you rub the dog’s nose in it and throw him out on the lawn or the President’s?
It’s obvious he can’t handle the crap on the border, but now he can’t control crap in the White House.
The Bidens have two dogs - Major and Champ. President Biden’s dog Major on Monday afternoon bit another employee, who then required medical attention. That’s right, “another employee.”
The incident was the second time Major, a three-year-old German Shepherd, bit someone at the White House in less than a month. On March 8, Major sank his teeth into a Secret Service employee, who also required attention from the White House medical unit. Psaki referred to that incident as "minor."
I’m sure she’ll “circle back” to that.....
First Lady Jill Biden’s press secretary Michael de Rosa confirmed the "nip" in a statement to Fox News. "Major is still adjusting to his new surroundings and he nipped someone while on a walk. Out of an abundance of caution, the individual was seen by medics and then returned to work without injury."
Major did his biting on the White House South Lawn Monday and one of the two dogs did their business on the floor in the White House. CNN first reported the bite, adding that the employee worked for the National Park Service.
It’s unclear who did the pooping. It’s also unclear who had to clean up the mess.
It really doesn’t matter. Lots of crap is coming out of Washington these days. We just stepped in about $4 Trillion of new debt in less than Biden’s first 100 days in office. Our grandchildren will be cleaning up that mess. Get ready for a bunch of new taxes that will cause most of us to yell “Sh__!”
 

KWIBS - From  March 29, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

This past week saw an explosion of mass shootings across our country and is now creating a rehashed dialogue about gun control, assault rifle bans and new (more) laws.
I’m extremely pro 2nd amendment. So, if that upsets you, the number to cancel your subscription is 620-886-5654..... I hope you're open enough to have respect for differing opinions.
I began carrying as soon as Kansas allowed concealed carry. I’ve kept up on my license and have even gone further with additional fire arm training. It has been a strong “suggestion” by my parent company that as a bondsman, I do carry for my protection. I also carry special insurance to carry. My guns are registered and I hold a license from the Attorney General’s Office as a practicing Bail Enforcement Agent in Kansas.
In 2016 my son Nick had a Navy Deployment meeting and I had to meet my house arrest equipment supplier “Alex” in West Wichita. She and I met up in a parking lot. We parked our vehicles along side each other so I could move boxes from her car to my truck. Our doors were opened when I heard the sound of squealing tires on pavement.
I looked up to see a silver Chevy Silverado racing across the parking lot towards us. It stopped about 100 yards out and a young man jumped out and started sprinting towards us. Alex was already in her car and I told her to lock the doors. As the young man got closer, my hand went to my hip as his hand went down the front of his baggy pants.
I pulled my weapon. I drew down on him with my 9 mm and placed my hand on the trigger guard and yelled, “Stop! Put your hands where I can see them!”
The young man did stop. He took his hand out from in front of his pants and then turned and ran towards the silver truck, who was already backing up as well. What I did that day, was actually a crime. It is not legal to make a threat with a deadly weapon. However, I did not know what his plans were and I was ready to fire if I saw his weapon. I never did.
To this day, Alex and I do not know what his intentions were. I grabbed the rest of the equipment and told Alex I would follow her part way to her office to make sure she was ok.
Two things went through my mind that day. a) I could have shot and killed someone that day. I thank God that did not happen. b) I or Alex could have been shot or robbed that day. Thankfully that did not happen either.
I believe criminals or deranged assailants look for soft targets. They don’t want to be met with resistance. It has been my experience that when being met with force, making the playing field level, is something that can save lives and deters violence. Without a gun, my only option that day would have been to reason with this person. I’ve received “de-escalation training,” self defense and take down courses, taser training and several other law enforcement type education. None of it actually prepares you for what you will do. I was always taught that if you point a weapon at someone, you’d better have a good reason not to shoot, but if you do or don’t, be prepared to answer to the local law enforcement jurisdiction.
Law enforcement, and our legal system, is entirely reactive, not proactive. There is almost nothing law enforcement can do until a crime has been committed. There is very little the government can do to prevent gun crime because criminals don’t obey the laws already on the books and won’t obey new ones. The one person ultimately responsible for your safety is YOU. And if you’re an honest, law-abiding citizen and want to personally do something to protect yourself and reduce gun crime --- carry a gun.
Do I think everyone should carry a gun? Absolutely not. I have seen several people, who I would not let carry a stick, take the Kansas Concealed Carry Classes. That’s not my call though. That’s the class instructor or local sheriff’s job to determine.
When people are armed, they are referred to as citizens. When the government takes fire arms away, they become subjects. Our first and second amendments have been under attack for a long time. Without either of these rights, we do become subjects. I find it ironic that the government wants to take away these rights to protect ourselves, while busily writing legislation behind fencing and razor wire, all while being protected by people with guns.
And don’t even get me started on the ,”well, we don’t need military style weapons.” We don’t have military style weapons. It takes a special, higher license to even own such a weapon. The same bullet fires in a Remmington 223 deer rifle that is fired from an AR 15. Just because they look different, they function nearly the same way. In fact, the deer rifle is probably equipped with better optics and is more accurate in most cases.
There’s one thing that gun crime is strongly related to: crime. This is a fact that is true almost everywhere in the country, in a way that appears to be unconnected with each area’s gun laws, and Chicago is a prime example.
The city has some of the tightest gun-control laws in the country. Illinois as a whole is one of seven states to require a license to buy any gun, one of only five with mandatory waiting periods and was the last state to allow concealed carry. In addition, Cook County has an assault weapons ban and, until it was ruled unconstitutional, Chicago banned all handguns in city limits.
These laws haven’t slowed down gun crime, though. A large part of the reason why is because the laws traditionally associated with gun-control have relatively little direct effect on the issue of crime itself.
In the instance of the grocery store shooting in Boulder, CO last week, I wondered how many people inside that store were carrying a weapon? Colorado has a concealed carry permit law, but cities like Denver have banned conceal carry. The state of Colorado already has strict gun laws including Universal Background checks; Red Flag gun seizure laws, “Hi-Capacity” magazine bans and has received a passing gun-control grade from Gifford’s Courage.
God bless our law enforcement and first responders. Prayers go out to the victims’ families and friends and for the life that Officer Eric Talley gave in the line of duty.
Pray for our country to get a handle on crime and to be reasonable about gun laws.

KWIBS - From  March 22, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Like most Americans, I have a pent up cabin fever that began about a year ago when COVID began shutting things down.
We are social people. We have friends all over the country and we enjoy getting time off to see them. We actually didn’t miss too many offers to travel last year, but I can tell you that traveling with COVID restrictions was not pleasant.
One such trip involved me and Ronda having to wear a mask for 9 hours straight, unless eating or drinking. We ate a lot and drank a lot on that flight.
I still get frustrated that you have to put a mask on to walk six feet to a table and then you can take your mask off when ordering food and drinks at the cigar bar in Wichita. Like the virus knows that you can only be infected or infect others when you’re standing, but not sitting. Who comes up with this science?
I got up to go to the bathroom, which was just a few feet from our table and a waitress said, “Sir, help keep our business open by wearing your mask.”
I told her my cigars and drinks orders, pointing at our full table, was what was helping to keep their business open. So like a good sheeple I put the mask on, opened the bathroom door, shut it and took it off.
There’s hope on the horizon! Many states are lifting restrictions now that vaccinations are happening and better treatments for the virus are coming out.
Cabin fever will do weird things to you, so will the time change (Daylight Savings Time). Wednesday night, Ronda opened the garage door to find me cleaning our old oven.
“It’s 11:30 p.m. What the heck are you doing out here,” she asked?
Well, I was cleaning it up and taking photos of it to put it on Facebook to sell it. I wasn’t tired, so there I was, in the garage, cleaning an oven. I had been in the garage almost all day, working on my kids’ and grandkids’ 4-wheelers and motorcycles. With spring just around the corner, they’ll all want to play on the “toys.”
With storms keeping me inside a lot this week, I just needed something to keep me from parking my ever growing behind in front of the TV watching garbage.
 

KWIBS - From  March 15, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

There are 26 bones in each foot. That's 52 bones in both feet, out of 206 total bones in your whole body, which is more than 25 percent. It may sound crazy at first, but think about it: Your feet support your weight and allow you to jump, run, and climb. Those bones and joints also allow your feet to absorb and release energy efficiently.
It’s also a fact that when you stub the tiniest of these bones, you’ll scream the loudest.
These days I wear a steel-toed work shoe. I am famous for dropping things on my feet or stubbing a toe, so now my closet is fully stocked with sneakers and boots that have steel toe protection. I hate being a spokesperson, but Skechers makes the most comfortable steel-toed shoes on the planet. Check them out.
Another random fact....
If you got into your car, turned on the ignition and drove up to the sky at 60 mph, it would take just one hour to get to outer space, according to astronomer Fred Hoyle. Of course, this is purely a theoretical, but it sure is fun to think about!
I’m pretty sure a road to outer space was part of the recent COVID-19 Stimulus package. $1.9 Trillion in relief spending is in motion for us to get a $1,400 stimulus check. The COVID-19 relief bill that has very little to do with the pandemic, and we all know it. Congress should admit as much.
This bill is a steaming pile of government handouts and special interest giveaways.
About the only COVID-19 relief that most Americans might need right now comes in a syringe. Once we hit a critical mass of immunity from vaccinations, and state and local governments lift economic lockdowns, the stimulus will happen without any help from Congress.
Using the pandemic as an excuse for a spending free-for-all when the country is $28 trillion in debt is beyond irresponsible. And trying to pass off this bloated list of politically motivated handouts as essential to America's public health is dishonest and cowardly.

KWIBS - From  March 8, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

The cancel culture is the new thing that makes me angry every time I turn on TV or read the news.
Over the last few weeks, there have been attempts to cancel Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head and now even removing Dr. Suess books.
Did anyone consider what The Potato Heads wanted? We’ve been shoving things in their butts for years and our concern is the Mr. and Mrs. in their name? Clearly, no one asked the Potato family what made them feel most uncomfortable.
If you think about it, The Potato Heads are the only toys you can change the parts on and make into whatever you want.
You want to cancel something? Cancel Legos. Or at least make them less painful when you step on them.
At the direction of President Biden, Read Across America totally left out Dr. Suess’s (Theodor Geisel’s) work. Shortly after that, an announcement came from the foundation of the Dr. Seuss Enterprise that 6 children’s books he wrote would be taken off the shelves because they depict insensitive and racial imagery.
Explaining the decision to stop the publication of the six books, the company said: 'These books portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong.'
Let me call you a “waaaambulance.” Big babies...
In 'And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street,' an Asian person is portrayed wearing a conical hat, holding chopsticks, and eating from a bowl. 'If I Ran the Zoo' includes a drawing of two barefooted African men wearing what appear to be grass skirts with their hair tied above their heads. To think!?!
What the flip are we doing America? We’re tearing down monuments, rewriting our history (even trying to change our constitution), taking our kids’ toys away or trying to rearrange their anatomy and we are going to forever ruin the fun and crush the imagination of children for generations to come.
If you don’t like the book, don’t read it. If you don’t like the toy, don’t play with it, but stop shoving this garbage down our throats. I don’t like it and I hope you don’t either.

KWIBS - From  March 1, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Is there any genre of humor more satisfying than a dad joke? I don’t think so. Because dad jokes aren’t like regular jokes. They’re multifaceted and complex. They’re funny because they’re so desperately uncool that you’re not even sure whether to laugh or grimace. Yup, a dad joke is loosely defined as a groaner so corny that you basically need to own a pair of white Sketcher sneakers, a cellphone belt clip, fanny pack and a coffee mug emblazoned with the phrase "World's Best Father" to actually find it funny.
My Grandson Kycen loves corny jokes and I love to print out pages for him to read. Usually, they are thought provoking jokes, but some are simple.
My Grandpa Joe was the king of Dad Jokes. He always had one. I’m pretty sure I get my sense of humor from him. So in his honor and for my grandson, I present to you these terrible Dad Jokes!
What rock group has four men that don’t sing? Mount Rushmore.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, “How long have you suffered from that condition?” The guy tells him, “Since next Monday.”
What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!
What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe!
What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!
Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.
A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere!
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory!
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it!
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it!
I was really angry at my friend Mark for stealing my dictionary. I told him, “Mark, my words!”
How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
I’m starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate.
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Good thymes.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
“Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.”
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  February 22, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Thank you Lord for warmer weather! And thank you Southern Pioneer Electric for doing all that you could to keep the lights on!
If you’re reading this, you survived one of the coldest snaps since 1971. I don’t think I remember that one, but I am sure I was double diapered.
My cousin Michelle and husband Jeff live in Fort Worth. They went several days without power and run Confederate Park Farms. Michelle is my biological cousin. She’s been riding and training horses and teaching equestrian riding for as long as I can remember.
This winter was especially hard on their operations, as they board many of their customers’ horses. They lost power for several days, wells froze and they had to haul in water and string up extension cords to keep things going.
Here in Kansas, things weren’t much different, except for the fact that we don’t have as many issues driving in snow and ice. Texans seem to lose their ability to drive when the roads get slick.
Our State did a great job in preparing and clearing roads off. I didn’t really have an excuse for not coming to town on Monday other than I didn’t want to take off my warm pajamas and go outside.
Our city crews also deserve a big thank you for keeping water going even when meters were freezing all over town. You all are awesome!
Those of you folks that do work out in this weather, my hat’s off to you, but only for a second or my bald spot gets cold. Seriously, our oil and gas people, delivery folks and our awesome power company deserve a round of applause for keeping things going in the most miserable conditions that I can remember in my life time.
Have a great and warmer week!

KWIBS - From  February 15, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Ok, somebody shut the front door!
This has been an unprecedented week of cold weather we’ve had.
It’s been especially hard on farmers and ranchers trying to keep cattle fed and water from freezing.
I looked out my window Tuesday morning as I was doing paperwork and had a good view of my pond. At around 9:30 a.m. there were ducks on the pond. At 11:30 a.m. the entire 2 1/2 acre spring fed pond, was frozen over. The pond south of our house was also nearly frozen over.
This usually takes days to freeze over because of the volume of water that runs through them, but at 12 degrees, it only took a partial day.
The weekend was scheduled to bring even more snow, ice and cold air. I was not particularly pleased that I had to get out in it a couple of times. This chart explains Wind Chill and how long it takes to get frost bite in these temperatures.
 




Not only is it bitterly cold out, it’s also very dangerous. My wife fell twice this week on icy patches around town as she was running errands. I threatened to buy her a life alert button if she continued to fall. The lumber yard had completely run out of salt Tuesday morning.
Speaking of dangerous, Hypothermia (abnormally low body temperature) and frostbite are both dangerous conditions that can happen when a person is exposed to extremely cold temperatures. If you have to be outside, please consider:
What is hypothermia?
Hypothermia is caused by prolonged exposures to very cold temperatures. When exposed to cold temperatures, your body begins to lose heat faster than it’s produced. Lengthy exposures will eventually use up your body’s stored energy, which leads to lower body temperature.
Body temperature that is too low affects the brain, making the victim unable to think clearly or move well. This makes hypothermia especially dangerous, because a person may not know that it’s happening and won’t be able to do anything about it.
While hypothermia is most likely at very cold temperatures, it can occur even at cool temperatures (above 40°F) if a person becomes chilled from rain, sweat, or submersion in cold water.
What is frostbite?
Frostbite is a type of injury caused by freezing. It leads to a loss of feeling and color in the areas it affects, usually extremities such as the nose, ears, cheeks, chin, fingers, and toes. Frostbite can permanently damage the body, and severe cases can lead to amputation (removing the affected body part).
If you must be outside during the extreme cold, please bundle up and keep bare skin from being exposed to the wind and elements.
I hated to turn my light hearted column into a public service announcement, but this is really dangerous weather we are coming out of and I know some people think they are invincible, but please take precautions. Check on your family members and friends.
 

KWIBS - From  February 8, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

People are generally very friendly when I meet them on the road either coming to or from work each day.
The majority are the same people I see every day. Most of them have a feed truck and are off to tend to some hungry cattle. They almost always wave. I wave first many times too. It’s just a way of life in rural Kansas.
Wednesday was a particularly beautiful day for being the day after Groundhog Day. That stupid, giant rat says 6 more weeks of Winter, but he’s been wrong and dropped before, so if Punxsutawney Phil knows what’s good for him, he’ll stop leaning that direction.
But for a Wednesday in early February, people were REALLY friendly. Everybody had a big wave. I never even had the chance to return the wave in most cases. Then I stopped to talk to a buddy who was grabbing a bale with his grandson. As I was standing at his truck and looking at mine, I could see what the commotion was all about.
My work gloves were tossed on the dash in a way that it made it look like I was permanently giving the peace sign! That’s why everyone was waving.
I put it on facebook, where another friend jokingly suggested, “test your theory by reconfiguring the fingers.”
I’ll take the high road on this one and either leave the glove as it is, or just do a manual wave!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  February 1, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

Not many realize this, but COVID struck again, shutting down an annual event that is extremely important to our agriculture community.
The Bankers Award Winners’ Annual Banquet was cancelled due to the virus and potential spread.
We struggled with ideas to replace our edition dedicated to the award winners and decided an edition to honor agriculture would be appropriate.
In our tight knit communities, we seldom think or appreciate the people who put food on our tables. Only in recent years of observing and friending farmers and ranchers have I learned how important they are to our financial well being, not to mention what an incredibly hard job it is.
It’s not easy in today’s climate to make a living in this industry, but I admire those who stick it out and continue family traditions of taking care of the land, raising our crops and growing our beef, sheep, pigs, etc.
Every morning I wake up and hear cows mooing and it makes me happy. They aren’t even our cattle, but I know how hard my friend works to keep them fed and healthy. I also appreciate this same friend who takes care of fences, cattle guards and burning pastures each year.
I’m no where near being a farmer or rancher, but I sure appreciate the hard work it takes to be one.
That friend, by the way, is Flint Rucker. I could not ask for a better person to take care of our ranch. He treats it like it was his own and over the past several years has helped me and Ronda realize how much more we appreciate it.
We love the land of Barber County. We pray God’s blessing over the harvest and we honor those in the Agriculture Community.
Have a great week and thank a Farmer!

KWIBS - From  January 25, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

We’ve all lost someone we love - maybe a brother, mother or father.
Every year on 01-11, my grandson Kycen turns another year older and on that day when Kycen turned 3, my dad passed away in 2013 from a long battle with dementia.
Many of you remember my dad. He was the life of the party in most situations (if you know what I mean).
My dad, “Ronnie” grew up in Logan, KS and attended Phillips County Schools, later graduating high school from Kinsley, KS in 1964. He went on to college in Emporia, which he always told me he was not quite ready to do. Instead, he left school and joined the Navy in 1965, serving as a Sonar Technician. After he got out of the service, I was born in 1969. Shortly after that, my mom and my dad moved us to Kinsley where he helped my grandpa run the Mercury. My grandmother Ethelyn was very sick with cancer and died in 1972. After she passed, my mom and dad moved to Medicine Lodge to run the Index, one of several papers my Grandpa Bill owned and my Uncle Gary had managed until my dad came in to run it. So from 1972 to 1990, my dad was the local newspaperman.
That 18 years went by quickly. In 1990 he sold the Index. I worked there for just another year before I left and Ronda and I started the Gyp Hill Premiere in 1991.
To me, my dad’s long life as a publisher in Medicine Lodge seems like yesterday until I realize that in June, it will be 30 years that Ronda and I have been publishing the newspaper. Now we’re not just Medicine Lodge, but of Barber County. It’s a proud feeling, but like my dad and my uncle and my grandpa, it’s all I’ve really ever known how to do, besides being a bail bondsman. That’s another story.
Dad’s birthday came and went. I remembered on the day, then my sister sent me a picture of him and I and I relived some great days with him before he became too ill and eventually died.

KWIBS - From  January 18, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

In 50 years, long after COVID and whatever else the Chinese throw at us is gone, we’ll have some pretty odd archived newspaper photos to look through.
Each day I place photos in the paper, many in the photo are wearing masks. I don’t have a problem with wearing a mask (properly), but you can barely tell who are in the photos!
? ? ? ?
This year will mark 30 years of The Gyp Hill Premiere being in publication. I remember working on the first copy in our living room at the farm house on our ranch. I had one thing that drove me more than anything. I always wanted our newspaper to be a place where people’s opinions were not censored. Now, we do have a letter policy, but in the 30 years we’ve been in business, I can only think of three letters we refused to print. The reasons were all different: 1) didn’t want to put their name to it. You can’t be a tough anonymous person. Own it or I won’t print it. 2) The information was just not relevant to our communities. 3) The information was liable and slanderous and they provided no truth to the contrary.
Our policy is on our website if you care to read it.
Since the beginnings of social media, our letters to the editor have fallen off. It’s so much easier to be a keyboard warrior online, that is, if you follow the tech giants’ rules.
On Monday, the social platform “Parler” was taken down from Amazon Servers and Apple Apps because they said it promoted and encouraged violent content.
I had only been a member for about three months and not once did I read something violent.
On Monday, I found more than 11 specific threats towards our government and the president on Facebook, but that’s ok.
Our first amendment rights are under attack and I am sure that it won’t be long before our second amendment rights are right behind them. I hope I’m wrong.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 11, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

How do you know for weeks that a massive amount of people are heading to Capital Hill and not be prepared for it?
First you start by simply shutting down everything in the community to anyone wanting to come in. No hotels or restaurants were open. Most businesses closed on January 6th in anticipation for a rally of Trump supporters during the counting of electoral votes.
Keep in mind the vast majority of people gathered peacefully. In fact, many of the trouble makers have been proven to be Antifa radicals. Sure, there were some bad apples there in the name of Trump, but I knew a lot of people who were there only to protest and assemble peacefully. They sent photos throughout the day. I heard singing in the background during a phone call. It was our National Anthem. Throughout the day
CNN reported, “Violent attacks by Trump supporters,” and “A dangerous and volatile situation caused by Trump radicals,” and “Insurrection.” One person was arrested for carrying an unlicensed gun and six people were charged with assault, including one for assaulting a police officer. No one ever asked or reported what party affiliation they were from, but even CNN’s footage of people inside the Capitol showed many people who didn’t have any “Trump” attire on. Some wore masks and there was obvious damage and at least one woman shot and died, why, we don’t yet know.
I never saw police cars being tipped over. I never saw buildings and vehicles set on fire. I never saw businesses being destroyed and looted.
I did see those things happening over the summer in Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles and New York. Police largely let these things happen under the orders of many city mayors. CNN reported that those protests were, “mostly peaceful,” as buildings were on fire in the background.
There was a lot of order in dispersing this crowd of supporters of the protest against counting the electoral votes. Did you see that happen over the summer during riots?
Many media outlets hold to their headlines that there was no voter fraud, yet you’ll see evidence long after Trump leaves office. I even know someone personally who is registered in Kansas, but flew to Arizona to vote. This person even bragged about how easy it was.
Would there have been a different result? I don’t know. I don’t even really care. What I do care about is election integrity. I saw enough and heard enough that I have my doubts about the fairness of this election and many others.
Elections are the basis of our republic. No matter what your party affiliation is, you should love the constitution and the process. A peaceful transfer of power has happened in this country for over 200 years. With any luck, we’ll last another 200 years.
I’m a registered Republican, but feel as though I am a Libertarian in my beliefs. The two party system is tearing apart our country, not to mention friendships and even families.
Although I’m not excited about a Biden-Harris administration, I will wait and see before I judge it. Some of the left’s ideas could break our fragile republic. I pray level heads prevail.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 4, 2021 - By Kevin Noland

What a wonderful Christmas. Thank you to all the family for all of the food that now requires me using all of those gift cards for looser fitting pants!
All of the gifts were so appreciated. I always tell my kids, “don’t buy me anything. Just take care of the kids. It’s about them and not about an old fart that doesn’t need anything.”
My kids went above and beyond this year. Each of them giving from the heart.
Friday we stood together and said grace. It was a time for us to honor the birth of Jesus. God became man. It was an amazing day.
To top it off, all of my NFL teams gave me several wins! Chiefs, Saints and Cowboys all won and are either easily in the playoffs or in the hunt.
It was hard coming back to work after so much time off, but I’m glad I did because my email was jammed up with a lot of things that needed to make this newspaper!
I ran across my “clean” funnies list that I subscribe to when I got in the office. It’s full of jokes sent in from pastors across the country. This poem cracked me up and I thought I would share it with you. The author is unknown (except for by Santa).

Twas the Night After Christmas

'Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer,
The beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler.
The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys
And I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.

The kids they weren't talking to me or my wife,
The worst Christmas they said they'd had in their life.
My wife couldn't argue and neither could I,
So I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.

When out in the yard the dog started barkin',
I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin.
He yelled, "Roy, I am sworn to uphold the laws
And I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."

I said, "Claus, I don't know nobody named Claus,
And you ain't taking me in without probable cause."
Then the Sheriff, he said, "The man was shot at last night."
I said, "That might have been me, just what's he look like."

The Sheriff replied, "Well he's a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly,
That shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly.
He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry."
I said, "Sheriff, that sounds like my wife's sister Sherri."

"It's no time for jokes, Roy" the Sheriff he said.
"The man I'm describing is dressed all in red.
I'm here for the truth now, it's time to come clean.
Tell me what you've done, tell me what you've seen."

Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell,
It wouldn't have been the first time I've spent New Years in jail.
I said, "Sheriff, it happened last night about ten,
And I thought that my wife had been drinking again."

When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost.
I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO's.
But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head,
And stopped on the roof of our good neighbor Red.

Well, I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder,
A freezer full of venison standing right on Red's gutter.
Well my hands were a shakin' as I grabbed up my gun,
When outta Red's chimney this feller did run.

And slung on his back was this bag overflowin'.
I thought he'd stolen Red's stuff while old Red was out bowling'.
So I yelled, "Drop, fat boy, hands in the air!"
But he went about his business like he hadn't a care.

So I popped a warning shot over his head.
Well he dropped that bag and jumped in that sled.
And as he flew off I heard him extort,
"That's assault with intent, Roy, I'll see ya in court."

So that gave me a chuckle and an idea. I thought I would share this photo and share a little poem of my own. I’m not real good at it, but if you know Miguel, then you know this might go right over his head.

The children gathered Christmas day to give from the heart.
A pair of socks for Miguel, sort of seemed kind of smart.

He slid them on with grace
With a smile on his face

The socks don’t lie, because to this day, no one has ever heard him fart!

 

KWIBS - From  December 14, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

A classmate of mine, his wife and my wife have made this strange tradition for the past few years that we attend an NFL game together around Christmas.
Nix White, a 1988 MLHS graduate and retired Navy Seal and his wife Wendy are our “travel buddies.”
Nix loves to see his name in The Gyp Hill Premiere!
In past trips, it started out in New Orleans. Then it moved to Kansas City and last year it was from Kansas City to New Orleans in 3 days.
Usually, our trips occur in mid-November, but for some reason, it’s falling right before Christmas this year, but I’m not complaining. Ronda and I both realize that when we get home, we’ll have just a small amount of time and a mountain of work to finish out the year and get things ready for Christmas, but we get to hang out with Nix and Wendy and we know there will be belly laughing, food and drinks involved.
This year, with COVID, we are just going to New Orleans, doing a little shopping and sight-seeing and taking in the Chiefs vs. Saints game on Sunday. This will be EPIC! Think about this: We will watch one of the youngest Superbowl Champs, play against one of the oldest, most respected Superbowl Champs. It is sports history in the making. Last year, Drew Brees broke the all time passing record for touchdowns while we were there.
And what did I say to him after the game?
“Hey, I was going to wear a sports coat and a tee shirt, but my wife said I would look stupid.”
That is exactly what Drew was wearing. We didn’t even call and coordinate that. My wife recovered quickly with, “Ya, but he can pull it off!”
Ronda and I feel pretty safe since we’ve been over the virus for about a month now. When you’re a retired Navy Seal, you just sneak up on the virus and kill it quietly and move on.
When Nix called and asked if we were up to it again, I was like, “Sure! Why not?!?”
The planning began and later this week, we’ll take another adventure with the Whites. These adventures date back to 1999 when we took our family to San Diego, traveled up the coast and took in Disney with our children.
We are excited to continue our adventures with Nix and Wendy!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  December 7, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Many of you knew Mike Shinkle. Let me tell you, he was a great man.
Mike had passion for Jesus and he was unashamed to share it. In fact, if you met him even once, you were sure to get the Gospel!
I met Mike at the Christian Church when I was about 10 years old. He and I shared a strange talent. We could both speak Donald Duck.... fluently. We did a couple of skits together. When we did these discussions in Donald’s voice, it was almost a competition to see who could keep it up without cracking up first. I think Mike was the best at it. I’m pretty good, but he was a Donald Duck Jedi Master.
Everything about him made you want to laugh and smile. Mike and his family were a huge part of our early lives together. Mike and Kim weren’t just friends, they were family. They took care of our children and we took care of theirs.
We still talk about “Nanna Jana.” Jana was Mike and Kim’s first daughter and at the moment she was ready and her parents said it was ok, we took her everywhere. She was part big sister and part indentured servant! We took her on all of our family vacations. I remember taking her to both Disneys in Florida and in California within months of each other. During the day, we’d all go to the parks. Jana would help with the kids. At night, Ronda and I would leave Jana with the kids and go check out the night life.
In Medicine Lodge, the Shinkles watched our kids during the summers. They would beg to go to Mike and Kim’s house. There were board games, singing, laughing and a home full of love.
The last time I saw Mike was at Bob Christensen’s funeral. We both made the comment that it wasn’t the end and we would see Bob again one day. I hugged Mike so many times that day. He had been such a blessing for the 40 years I have known him.
Mike died the Friday after Thanksgiving from complications of COVID. It was a punch in the gut. All his friends are hurting, but also have hope, knowing we’ll see him again and get the best hug a person can get.

A man of God, on his hotrod. RIP my brother.

KWIBS - From  November 30, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I’m never thankful about Thanksgiving falling on a Thursday.
Thursday is our deadline day, which means we either hump it up and get most of it done on Wednesday or we end up working a long Friday and Saturday.
It never seems fair.
I propose we make all holidays fall on a Monday! Nobody likes Mondays anyway. All of our holidays would then be three day weekends!
I’m a genius.
Moving on.....
? ? ? ?
All of those wonderful things that were going to happen to us have happened! If you remember, I wrote in early October that Nick would be coming home from Okinawa. He’s home and has a new job at Home Lumber! It’s been fun to hear how surprised he is when he sees someone he hasn’t seen in 4 years. I think he’s really enjoying it and enjoying being a part of the community.
We had another grand baby! Right on time and as expected, Ensley made her perfect little appearance and making her the #6 grandchild. I hate bragging, but she is the most beautiful baby in the whole world.
Lastly, Joey became a home owner! The interesting part about this is that the home belonged to one of my classmates and his sister after their father passed away. The home has always been “The Fincher Home.” The first house you come to in the Forsyth’s Addition to the west. Brett and Joey made a deal this summer and with Joey becoming the new store manager and his fiance’ recently joining Citizens Bank of Kansas, this home will be the perfect home for them.
Thanks to Brett, I can once again get up in the morning with little to no clothing on and get a cup of coffee! Sadly, Haley’s coffee is pretty amazing. I’m sure she’s glad to have a place of their own!
Brett kindly wrote on Facebook, “Today was bittersweet. I finally sold my dad’s home. After 2.5 years of driving 3 hours almost every weekend to take care of it.. it was finally time. I’m beyond exhausted.... beyond words... but I also am proud of the owners that God brought forward. I’m excited for Joey Noland and his fiance’ Haley Gomes. What a great young couple moving into the Lodge. I hope this house gives you many memories like it did for my family. My dad was always proud of the “Fincher house “ at 101 Leslie for over 35 years . Good luck now to the new Noland house!”
I called Brett right after the closing. It was an emotional time for him. Brett and I went to school together from preschool to graduation. His dad was my friend and was always being a prankster.
We were in high school when Brett lived there. We shot pool in the basement and shared many good times with old ornery Ron Fincher.
I’m so happy for Joey and Haley and for Brett and Kim.
So even though I hate that Thanksgiving always falls on a Thursday, I’m thankful I get to stay late on Wednesday and write this column about my kids all growing up and doing great things.
In these days and times, it’s hard to find the good in the world. For me, I just look around me: Beautiful wife, children, grandchildren and family all around us.
I hope you and your family had a great Thanksgiving too.

KWIBS - From  November 23, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I won’t mention the “C” word this week, but once again, it got in the way of life.
That life entered the world Monday morning at Pratt Regional Medical Center. Ensley Alaia Hernandez entered the world weighing 6 lbs. 9.5 oz.
We could not go in and see her, but that did not stop us from trying. Ronda had to make an “emergency” run to Pratt to bring our daughter a toothbrush and toothpaste. I was like eye rolling world champion that day.
She got there and got her temp taken and the lady stuck a sticker on her and pointed her towards the elevator. Ronda went to the 4th floor expecting to meet a nurse, but my son-in-law, carrying Ensley met her at the door and opened it.
Immediately alarms went off. Ronda handed him the bag of mouth products and ran out the door. We later heard that the Pratt Police Department and Sheriff’s Department responded to the alarm.
The best part was, I had to go to Pratt County following Ronda’s return, to bond out a defendant from jail. While there, I heard the story of the alarm going off at the hospital and said, “Oh, that was my wife. she’s now a fugitive from justice. What’s her bond amount?” lol,.....
No charges were filed against the grandma and I got a chance to be the weird grandpa. I showed up in the parking lot with binoculars and the kids held Ensley up to the window so I could see her.
Yes, I carry around binoculars. I’m a bondsman and bail enforcement agent. You wouldn’t believe the things I carry around in my truck.
Ensley and family came home Wednesday and I rushed over to stand in line to hold her. I was third in line.
When it was my turn, I snatched Ensley up in my arms. She got really rigid and then let out the biggest grunt and filled her diaper. She took her first dookie on her grandpa at her own house within ten minutes of coming home. Needless to say, the ladies worked on changing the diaper and I went back to work all smiles.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 16, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Today, Ronda and I are celebrating our 6th grandchild!
By the time you are reading this, we hope and pray that our daughter Breeann had a successful C-Section and delivered a healthy baby girl! Ensley Alaia Hernandez and her mommy will be welcomed home by their five siblings Baylee, Ashley, Eric, Miguel and Kycen and daddy Miguel.
That reminds me: Christmas has just been cancelled. Just kidding, but I may be that grandpa who slips a $5 bill in an envelope for birthdays and Christmas if we keep reproducing!
The pressure is now on Nick and Natalie! Very soon the pressure will be on Joey and Haley. We could have a small army of grandchildren very soon. The first things this army will be equipped with are lawnmowers and weedeaters! Just kidding, but wow, that would be awesome.
Babies are cool and all, but I like them better when you don’t have to change their diapers anymore. I feel like I shouldn’t have to change anymore diapers. In fact, I’m probably closer to having my own diaper changed at this point in life.
I love the pre-talking, pre-walking stage. When they cry, give them back to their parents. When they start walking, you have to practically put a helmet on them, so it’s better they just roll around for a while. Crawling starts the scary phase. It’s just a matter of time before they are walking and then running. We used to call our youngest child Nicholas “Baby Scar Face” when he was little. That kid could fall into a pile of pillows and scratch his face all up.
Of course with COVID still lingering around, we can’t be there for the birth. That’s a new first for us. I’ll be glad for the day that I no longer have to write a column that includes the COVID word.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 9, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I sat out of the game on the bench most of the last couple of weeks because of COVID.
Like many of you, Ronda and I came down with it within about 12 hours of each other.
I spent most of that time catching up on TV shows and flipping through pictures on my phone. Since we have iCloud, we have nearly 20,000 photos of the past 10 years floating around in cyberspace.
Remember the days when we would drag out the photo albums and slip those 4x6” pictures into plastic sleeves. Then we’d look at those until the binders wore off our photo albums? Those days seem to be gone now that we all carry phones in our pockets that have more memory than the first Apollo Mission Control had.
I stumbled across photos of concerts. Many, many concerts. Oh my God how I miss live concerts! COVID wrecked me seeing several shows this year including The Foo Fighters, Perfect Circle and Foreigner, amongst many more, I am sure.
One thing almost all of these photos had in common was this one guy in a shot with me. Steve Green has been a friend for over 20 years. We met back when our band used to play clubs in Wichita. He was a sound engineer and his crew did light and sound for several of our shows. Any time Ronda and I go to a concert, we almost always run into Steve and his wife Joni and take a photo.
I picked up the phone and called him. We chatted it up for almost an hour and then he called back a few days later just to check up on our recovery. It reminded me, no matter what our country may be going through, we’re going through it together. It was good to hear his voice and to talk about our favorite thing: music. Steve is still in a band and chances are you’ve seen them or met him. “Lucky People” has played Peace Treaty like three times now. Steve’s company “Eardrum Entertainment” does the sound for Peace Treaty’s Pageant and night show. He and his crew are good people and I was reminded of that just by flipping through my phone last week.
Stay healthy and have a great week!

KWIBS - From  November 2, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

An alarming number of Barber County residents learned they have contracted COVID-19 in the past several weeks. It’s gotten to the point that our County Commissioners and Public Health Officials have put a mask mandate into effect.
If you read it, you might have noticed the same thing I did. There’s no teeth to it. There are no fines or penalties for not wearing one. It’s basically a strong suggestion.
I, like many, have been exposed, more than once now, to someone with COVID-19.
A doctor explained it to me like this, “It’s not if you get COVID, it’s when you get COVID.”
That resonates with me. Although, I’m not one who likes to be told what to do, I am doing better at wearing a mask in the event I have been exposed - doing so is an attempt at not spreading to someone at high risk from the virus.
The same doctor told me, “80% of those who get COVID may never even have a symptom.”
That sounds comforting.
However, someone I know who had it recently said, “I’ve had worse hangovers than this.” Yet another good friend said, “I taught my children how to unlock my phone and call 911 because I thought I was going to die.”
His entire family came down with it. It was only their father did not suffer the worst symptoms, yet was at the highest risk.
It’s all very confusing. Doctors will tell you, they still don’t understand this disease, but they learn a little more every day. A treatment is out there, but you either have to be the President of the United States, or on your death bed, to get it. There is a man in Barber County who is getting that treatment and I pray he is doing well. Remember, people die of the flu too and we are also in that season.
I will say, when in doubt, wear a mask, especially if you are not feeling well. Now that it’s cold, it’s not as hard to do. Mine sort of helps keep my face warm.
I believe we will see a higher number of cases and that will happen because of increased testing. It does make me wonder why we haven’t been doing this for years with the flu. At some point, we’ll stop testing because everyone will have had it.
Stay healthy friends

KWIBS - From  October 26, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

COVID has robbed a lot of people of joy. I know of birthday parties cancelled, funerals that were only held with limited mourners, sporting events postponed, schools, graduations and classes cancelled. The list goes on and on.
My grandson is a straight A student. He was sent home after being in close contact with another student who tested positive. As of this writing, he and his buddy are both doing fine. With any luck, Kycen will dodge COVID and return to school on Wednesday.
Ronda and Joey’s birthdays are this week. We haven’t planned much, but I’m sure there will be the family dinner. In the past, we’ve all gone to Wichita to a movie or out to see a concert. It seems those days are in our past.
I love you two so much and wish you both a happy birthday.
I heard recently that the schools will be canceling the Veterans’ Day Program. I understand why, but I am also so crushed that we won’t be paying respect to our community’s heroes.
One of those heroes returned home Friday at 2 p.m. We gathered with our masks and waited for him to walk into the airport from the terminals. It didn’t feel like the welcome home I wished for him, but I am grateful that my son, Nick, is back.


 

Nick will tell you that he didn’t do anything that important in the four years that he served with the Navy and Marines. I admire his modesty, but he did great things. A three year overseas deployment is hard and the time did not go by quickly for any of us. I’m happy that he got to spend the last 15 months with his wife Natalie by his side.
My son Joey’s Fiance’, Haley Gomes, has moved to Medicine Lodge. They will tie the knot in Colorado in June. Her early arrival is also due to COVID. The business she worked for closed suddenly.
Lastly, this feels like an early Christmas letter, my daughter Breeann and her husband Miguel will be celebrating the arrival of their newest family member in just a few more weeks.
COVID may be stealing some joy, but if you look closely, you can find joy all around you. Don’t be afraid, be encouraged and be thankful for those around you. Isaiah 41:13
Stay healthy and have a great week!

KWIBS - From  October 19, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

What I hope to be the final chapter of the horrific events of July 21, 2018 has been written.
I did not get to attend the sentencing hearing for Ora Munger on Wednesday, but I did get to watch the proceedings via ZOOM.
I wished I could have been there in person. I commend our local Court Clerk Ann McNett and Judge Meisenhiemer for setting up and giving the community a chance to watch. The Judge was fair to Munger and I was impressed with how the sentencing went.
Gary and Emmajo Rucker’s daughter Jody Cushenbery asked the question, “Do you remember what you were doing on July 21, 2018?”
I gasped.
I remember exactly what I was doing. Ronda and I had finished up some yard work and had sat down at the patio of our lake house and marveled at how beautiful it was outside - not too warm, but just a great day to be outside and to be relaxing.
Little did we know of the evil that was occurring to our friends just a few miles south of us. Their granddaughter Leah called us that afternoon as we were lounging and told us that her dad and grandparents had been viciously attacked and beaten, but her dad had stopped by with a watermelon and wrestled the gun away from Ora Munger. She had little time to talk.
I called Flint’s phone, but got no answer. I called his wife Donna and she picked up.
She gave me a short recap of what had happened and told me that EMS and the hospital were checking everyone out and it looked like they would all be ok.
I was furious that someone would do this to anyone, especially the Rucker family. There couldn’t be nicer people in Barber County.
Flint came in my office the following Wednesday and carefully told me what happened over that two hour period. Some of it was so horrific, I never wrote about it.
For longer than two years, I covered this story. I’m glad that I may never have to type Munger’s name again. That this monster is going away for a long time and will never hurt another person or family.
My admiration for my friend Flint has never changed. He’s always been a hero to me. Flint is by definition a Christian man. He gets this from his loving parents who gave him and his brothers and sisters so much love. They live by their example and are some of the best people you could ever know.
God bless you all for what you went through and for the courage to continue to live with such incredible grace and mercy for a man who could have ended your lives.
I do absolutely remember what I was doing that day.

KWIBS - From  October 12, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

The following article comes from Jim Rowland, Barber County Economic Development.
WHY SHOP LOCAL?
You’ve seen the phrase and the commercials, and we even have a day dedicated to shop local but what does shop local really mean?
First and foremost, we keep sales tax dollars in OUR community. Sales taxes collected from local sales go toward streets, sidewalks, police, and all the things that make our community an appealing place to live and raise our families. When we travel to Wichita, Pratt or Alva to purchase products or services, we’re building that communities’ sidewalks and streets.
Next when we shop local, we invest in entrepreneurship. Creativity and entrepreneurship are the foundation of our local economy. If we want a sustainable economy, then we need to shop local. To shop local means more money stays in our community.
By encouraging entrepreneurs, our community becomes a destination. The more interesting and unique we become, the more we will attract visitors, guests and new neighbors. We are already blessed with an incredible natural landscape that draws many to the area. Visitgyphills.com was born out of that desire to draw folks into the best kept secret in Kansas.
Shop local means helping businesses that help the community. They’re the ones we go to repeatedly throughout the year asking for donations for every possible activity and group. They are our neighbors; they know us, and we know them. Let’s create an environment where we can give them honest feedback about products or services that we’d like to see, honest, constructive feedback when they fall short or praise when they exceed our expectations.
Lastly, to shop local means to create local jobs. Putting money in the pocket of local businesses means they are able to employ people from our community. Also remember that the sales taxes collected locally means jobs for essential local workers, think city/county employees that deliver services we desperately need to ensure a higher quality of life.
 

KWIBS - From  October 5, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Extortion has certainly been used as a political tactic through out history, but never in America, until now.
We have been witnessing a very ugly attack on American traditional values and institutions in general, and Trump supporters in particular. Conservatives are routinely threatened and openly harassed in public by the radical left of the Democrat Party.
Joe Biden has said nothing to condemn this behavior until a few weeks ago when the polls began showing that people are getting fed up with it. He now claims that Donald Trump is the cause of all this unrest and that he, if elected, can stop it. Nice try Joe.
First of all, I don’t think that Biden can control this anarchists mob, that would take a strong law and order president. Second, I don’t think it’s Trump’s fault that these America-hating socialists are trying to stir-up racial strife as a way to overthrow our Constitutional form of government. He simply brings out the true character of these people for all to see, and it’s not pretty.
President Trump has done more to help blacks through criminal justice reform and job growth than Obama and Biden ever thought about doing, and more blacks are waking up to that fact.
Biden is telling people to vote for him if you want the violence to stop. That’s nothing short of extortion. I don’t know about you, but I don’t respond well to extortion and threats. I think I’ll vote for Trump.
 

KWIBS - From  September 28, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Happy Birthday to my oldest child October 3rd!
Breeann, as her given name on her birth certificate states, prefers to be called “Bree.” So Bree is turning the calendar page on Saturday.
Many of you know, or maybe you don’t, Bree is expecting! A little girl will be delivered in November!
Another daughter should be delivered by the time this newspaper is in your hands. If all went as planned Natalie Noland left Japan Sunday (Saturday our time), dropped her husband Nick off in Seattle and made her way back to Kansas! Welcome home Natalie!
? ? ? ?
Let us all rejoice with prerecorded applause that the NFL is back on. At the same time, let us all roll our eyes when one of the players or an entire team protests our National Anthem.
It is so very weird to see little to no fans in the stadium. I read an article that producers are using three levels of prerecorded crowd response for effect at the games. We’ve turned the NFL into a sitcom. (Insert laughter here). Oh well, as of this writing my fantacy football team is 2-0. (Insert crowd roaring here).
Although some teams are permitting reduced capacity attendance at their stadium when the season starts on 10th September, the pre-recorded crowd noise is being made available to all NFL franchises to play on a continuous loop via their PA systems.
The league has, however, laid out strict guidelines around the use of the artificial crowd noise. In a memo issued to all teams, the NFL stipulates that any club attempting to manipulate the crowd noise will be subject to fines, suspensions or potential lost draft picks.
The audio must not be played at 70 decibels (dB), no higher or lower, and start from kick off. Noise levels will be monitored by the NFL throughout the game to ensure that crowd noise does not go above or below that level.
Going above could break some records for loudest stadiums (like the Browns’) in the NFL, but that would be cheating, like deflating a football.
? ? ? ?
In last week’s Premiere’s Board of Education article, we inadvertantly reported, with the pounding of the “0” key, that the cost of repairs and enhancements to area school facilities is estimated to be $23 billion! It should have read $23 million. I’m trying not to find this funny, but it sort of is. My father-in-law reported the meeting and was late turning it in. I take full credit for missing the extra “0s” causing some to consider packing up and leaving the county. Please don’t, it was just an error and we are extremely sorry!
? ? ? ?
while Joey is back in Medicine Lodge and the new manager of White’s Foodliner, it’s been fun to observe the ways he entertains himself when he’s not working. Mostly he sleeps! lol
The other night he was out in the front yard. My first thought was, “he’s out hitting golf balls over our pond,” a favorite pastime at our house.
I ran outside to grab a club only to find him digging around in my garage.
“Where’s your handsaw,” he asked?
I don’t normally give out that information to anyone, especially a tired family member, so I honestly told him that I didn’t have one. I really don’t...
I instead handed him a Millwaukee sawsall, the mother of all saws!
“What are you building,” I asked?
“A bow and arrow,” he said with a straight face.
My son is a YouTube, do-it-yourself, but leave the garage door open and tools left out for someone else to pick up, kind of guy.
Well, you know I couldn’t not help him, so we started sawing and splitting cedar for his bow.
Part of Joey’s job is to make promotional videos for his store. I can just see a customer now, with an apple on his head, Joey with his bow, taking steady aim. Wait. No. Don’t do that Joey.
It didn’t take long and I was bored with the project and suggested he just go online and buy a bow and arrow set. He was out until dark. I’m not sure how this is going to turn out.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  September 21, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I read an article I wrote about Peace Treaty in 2003. That was 5 Peace Treaties ago.
In the article, I wrote about my buddy Nix coming from San Diego with his son. I remember we decked out a couple of Harley Davidsons to look like horses and we took our sons Nick and Zane, who were roughly the same age, through the three days of parades. It was a blast.
The kids would have been close to 4 or 5 at that time. They played together. They had met once before, but were just little bitty buddies on the beach of San Diego, CA.
Add 17 years and both our kids are now serving their country. Zane joined the Marines and Nick went into the Navy, just like Nix had done. Zane dreamed of being sent over seas and Nick dreamed of being state side during his duty. Neither got what they wanted. Nick ended up in Okinawa, 7,500 miles from home, and Zane ended up at Pendleton about 30 miles from his folks near San Diego. Nix and I have had a few laughs over that one.
This is the final KWIBS in 4 years of talking about Nick being overseas (Joscelyn Nittler has got to be thrilled)! Friday of this week (Thursday their time), Nick and Natalie Noland begin their journey home. It’s not as easy as just jumping on a plane and flying back. Nick has had endless hours of separation classes and will have to quarantine in Seattle when they arrive. Natalie will come on back to her family in Kansas and we can’t wait to see her. Nick will have an additional two weeks of classes and paper work to do before he can join his wife.
They both leave behind almost ALL of their belongings. Because Nick didn’t get his orders in time, he could not schedule the movers until three days after they will have left. Thank the Lord that they leave many friends behind in Okinawa to meet the movers after Nick and Natalie will already be home in the states. They will help the movers pack and load all of their belongings to arrive sometime..... who knows when?
There’s some pretty excited people ready to welcome them home!
 

KWIBS - From  September 14, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I spent the better part of three weeks trying to replace a columnist who’s been making appearances in The Gyp Hill Premiere since 2006. Jason Offutt “Ended Transmission” last week with his final syndication. We grew to be friends and we will miss his whacky, practical sense of humor.
So I began searching and made calls to a few other syndications, but before I did, I ordered three of the spiciest tacos I’ve ever consumed from Cancun’s.
My daughter brought it back and I took bites between phone calls. It became apparent that these were the type of tacos that burn twice. If I have to explain it, you shouldn’t be reading my column.
After an urgent visit to the “little publisher’s room,” I discovered that my roof is still leaking. It is relaxing to listen to a gentle water fall while doing your business, but since it’s in the mechanic’s room near all of the electrical, I got my business done and got out of there. There’s a lot of ways a person checks out of this world and being electrocuted on the toilet is not even on my top ten list.
I broke my promise to not watch the news anymore last week. It was easy enough to keep that promise when I was getting up and going to work and not getting home until dark. Then winter showed up on Tuesday out of no where and what’s a person to do? When I did turn back on the TV, I discovered there are still two old men arguing about the presidency. One is funny and yet insulting, the other seems to be wandering around looking for his car keys that his family took away from him several years ago.
Oh, and there are riots over social injustices. Before I stopped watching TV it was racial injustice, but they must have figured out it was not just about one race. Good job TV people. Somebody tell the NBA.
Looks like COVID-19 will have a safe cure by early 2021, just after pharmaceutical company AstraZeneca on Tuesday put a hold on its experimental coronavirus vaccine study in America, after a participant in the United Kingdom faced an apparent serious adverse reaction.
I think I will go back to work outside and leave the TV off.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  September 7, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Well, it’s officially September. Normally, I’m so excited about football, I can’t come up with anything to write about in my column, but this is a special month. This will be the last month you have to endure me talking about my Son Nick, who is in Okinawa (In case Joscelyn Nittler didn’t know - inside joke -). You know what to do Joscelyn....
I have to relive a few of my favorite conversations I had with Nick in the past 3.5 years of his deployment.
“Good Lord Dad. It’s hot here. I mean, you really don’t understand. It’s like you turn on the weather channel and the guy says, ‘looks like another day of swamp butt here on the island’.”
“We slept outside last nighy as part of our jungle training. Oh, did I mention it was during a typhoon? Me and Chap Jones moved to higher ground to try and stay dry and the Marines all slept in the mud. When I woke up, I was alone. Chaps was sleeping in his car.”
“Dad, I bought a soccer mom van for $500! It’s made of crushed beer cans and goes about 45 mph, which is like 200 kph or something like that.”
Later...
“We’re selling the soccer mom van for scrap. The scrap yard guy said he’d give us $500 for it. That saves me time crushing beer cans. Oh, and I got my money back out of it.”
“Natalie and I bought birds and named them Soko and Monga. We named them after our favorite bar.”
Later from Natalie...
“All I do all day long is clean up bird poop.”
Later from Nick...
“It’s been a rough day. We had to give the birds away before we come home. I’m pretty sad.”
Later that same day from Natalie...
“I don’t know what to do with all of my free time. Thank God Nick doesn’t fly around the house pooping on all the furniture.”
“Dad, I spent $30 on a Pokemon card that’s worth $1,200. I’m not sure if that’s American or Japanese money....”
I said, “Probably Monopoly money.”

KWIBS - From  August 31, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

The community was heartbroken to hear the news that Rex Bugbee had passed away Tuesday.
I had been following his accident and condition all week. It was just such a shock that the accident occurred one week after we had done a feature on the Pickup Man.
I struggled to remember the exact conversation I last had with him. It was about a week after the last Peace Treaty and he said something like, “So, are you ready to be the President of Peace Treaty?”
I answered him pretty honestly, “Well, not really. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I love this event and all the people who are in it.”
He went on to tell me, that all I had to do was love it and I’d figure it out.
Those were always the short types of conversations I would have when I’d see Rex around town. Short, but good.
Over the years, I shot dozens of pictures of him in Peace Treaty. He was in about half the Peace Treaty Pageant, riding, driving a team and helping in any way he could.
“Now, there’s a real cowboy,” I’d always say to myself. It was true. It wasn’t until recently that I realized Rex was in his early 60s and was still a Pickup Man. I’m barely in my 50s and I have trouble climbing in my truck, let alone getting on a horse, nearly daily, and doing the kind of work Rex did, but he loved it. He was a real cowboy. I only personally know a few like Rex that I could approach and visit with without feeling completely intimidated. I know there are a ton of them around Barber County. Guys like John Clarke and Flint Rucker come to mind.
This community lost a legend and hero on Tuesday. Everyone was pulling for him to recover and it appeared that he would for a while.
The Lord had other plans though and he went home Tuesday. I pray for peace for Teri, Josh, Jay and their families. I also pray that there are rodeos in Heaven and that the best Pickup Man just arrived on the scene. Rest in Peace Rex.

KWIBS - From  August 24, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Speedy Morris
Speedy Morris was the basketball coach at LaSalle and they were having a pretty good season. One morning he was shaving and the phone rang. His wife answered it and called out to him that Sports Illustrated wanted to talk to him. Coach Morris was excited that his team was apparently about to receive national recognition in this famous sports magazine. As a matter of fact, he was so excited that he cut himself with his razor. Covered with blood and shaving lather and running downstairs to the phone, he tripped and fell down the stairs. Finally, bleeding and bruised, he crawled to the phone and breathlessly said, "Hello?"
The voice on the other end asked, "Is your name Speedy Morris?"
"Yes," he replied.
Then the voice continued, "Mr. Morris, for just seventy-five cents an issue, we can give you a one-year subscription to Sports Illustrated."
Which brings me to an actual story that happened last week. I got a call from “Audrey,” who is a producer for the History Channel’s “Pawn Stars.” Pawn Stars is set in Las Vegas, NV. Rick Harrison had taken an interest in an item that I had sent to the producer’s email about exactly one year ago.
“Hi Kevin, this is Audrey from Pawn Stars,” she said as I was driving down the road. My first thought was, which one of my friends is pranking me? She then reminded me of my 2019 email. “Rick Harrison would like you to come on the show with your item.”
We had made plans to go to Vegas for my 50th birthday with Derrick and Shanda Swinehart back in 2019. I thought it would be fun to visit the pawn shop and maybe try and get on the show, but I got no response, so we just went anyway.
So imagine my surprise when she called me and asked if I would be interested in traveling to Vegas for two days of filming. After several minutes on the phone, we negotiated a price for the item and then got down to travel arrangements. Due to COVID, the show is not flying people to Vegas, but instead reimbursing their mileage to drive there.
“That’s a 17 hour, 1,105 mile trip,” I told her. I did the math and I could fly for about $195. If I had the trime to drive it, I would be looking at $1,215.50. I don’t have time to drive it, so I politely told her the math doesn’t work and I wouldn’t be able to take off that much time.
“That not a problem,” Audrey said. “Rick said you could ship the item and we’d find someone to play your part on the show!” My jaw about hit the floor. Who would play me? I instantly thought Harrison Ford, Keanu Reeves, William Shatner (he might be too old). Then I thought. Well, what a load of crap that is. I thought this show was about people with interesting items that the shop wanted to feature from interesting people. I’m interesting! That’s what my wife says.
Plans are on hold for a moment while I decide if I am flying or driving. I’m definitely not having someone else play me, unless it’s Vin Diesel.....

KWIBS - From  August 17, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I’m just going to leave this right here. Please don’t blow up my email with hate mail. I’m simply pointing out something that I read, found interesting and decided to pass it along for you to draw your own conclusion.
In the recent days, weeks and months, more advertising about wearing masks and #alonetogether is being shoved down my throat at every turn.

"If masks don't work, then why do surgeons wear them?"
A response to people who use the classic fallacious argument, "Well, if masks don't work, then why do surgeons wear them?"
By Jim Meehan, MD
I'm a surgeon that has performed over 10,000 surgical procedures wearing a surgical mask. However, that fact alone doesn't really qualify me as an expert on the matter. More importantly, I am a former editor of a medical journal. I know how to read the medical literature, distinguish good science from bad, and fact from fiction. Believe me, the medical literature is filled with bad fiction masquerading as medical science. It is very easy to be deceived by bad science.
Since the beginning of the pandemic I've read hundreds of studies on the science of medical masks. Based on extensive review and analysis, there is no question in my mind that healthy people should not be wearing surgical or cloth masks. Nor should we be recommending universal masking of all members of the population. That recommendation is not supported by the highest level of scientific evidence.
First, let's be clear. The premise that surgeons wearing masks serves as evidence that "masks must work to prevent viral transmission" is a logical fallacy that I would classify as an argument of false equivalence, or comparing "apples to oranges."
Although surgeons do wear masks to prevent their respiratory droplets from contaminating the surgical field and the exposed internal tissues of our surgical patients, that is about as far as the analogy extends. Obviously, surgeons cannot "socially distance" from their surgical patients (unless we use robotic surgical devices, in which case, I would definitely not wear a mask).
The CoVID-19 pandemic is about viral transmission. Surgical and cloth masks do nothing to prevent viral transmission. We should all realize by now that face masks have never been shown to prevent or protect against viral transmission. Which is exactly why they have never been recommended for use during the seasonal flu outbreak, epidemics, or previous pandemics.
The failure of the scientific literature to support medical masks for influenza and all other viruses, is also why Fauci, the US Surgeon General, the CDC, WHO, and pretty much every infectious disease expert stated that wearing masks won't prevent transmission of SARS CoV-2. Although the public health "authorities" flipped, flopped, and later changed their recommendations, the science did not change, nor did new science appear that supported the wearing of masks in public. In fact, the most recent systemic analysis once again confirms that masks are ineffective in preventing the transmission of viruses like CoVID-19: https://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/26/5/19-0994_article (I did read this article and although, some see Jim Meehan, MD as radical and out of touch, government data suggests that masks are not effective.)
If a surgeon were sick, especially with a viral infection, they would not perform surgery as they know the virus would NOT be stopped by their surgical mask.
Another area of "false equivalence" has to do with the environment in which the masks are worn. The environments in which surgeons wear masks minimize the adverse effects surgical masks have on their wearers.
Unlike the public wearing masks in the community, surgeons work in sterile surgical suites equipped with heavy duty air exchange systems that maintain positive pressures, exchange and filter the room air at a very high level, and increase the oxygen content of the room air. These conditions limit the negative effects of masks on the surgeon and operating room staff. And yet despite these extreme climate control conditions, clinical studies demonstrate the negative effects (lowering arterial oxygen and carbon dioxide re-breathing) of surgical masks on surgeon physiology and performance.
Surgeons and operating room personnel are well trained, experienced, and meticulous about maintaining sterility. We only wear fresh sterile masks. We don the mask in a sterile fashion. We wear the mask for short periods of time and change it out at the first signs of the excessive moisture build up that we know degrades mask effectiveness and increases their negative effects. Surgeons NEVER re-use surgical masks, nor do we ever wear cloth masks.
The public is being told to wear masks for which they have not been trained in the proper techniques. As a result, they are mishandling, frequently touching, and constantly reusing masks in a way that increase contamination and are more likely than not to increase transmission of disease.
Just go watch people at the grocery story or Walmart and tell me what you think about the effectiveness of masks in the community.
If you can't help but believe and trust the weak retrospective observational studies and confused public health "authorities" lying to you about the benefits and completely ignoring the risks of medical masks, then you should at least reject the illogical anti-science recommendation to block only 2 of the 3 ports of entry for viral diseases. Masks only cover the mouth and nose. They do not protect the eyes.
Give it some thought. It at least made me think.

KWIBS - From  August 10, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

So people retire.
Sometimes they are admired and are enamored with gifts, such as a watch or a cool plaque. Sometimes they get the heav-ho and cupcakes. Some get to slip off quietly into the sunset and others go kicking and screaming.
Jason Offutt has been a columnist for The Premiere since 2004. We were both a little younger then, lighter, better looking and probably had more hair back then. One fun fact about Jason’s photo to the right: I am pretty sure it’s the same one we’ve used since he started writing for us 16 years ago.
Jason told me before Christmast last year that he was retiring in August of 2020. So, I’ve known it was coming.
I was like, “wait, you’re the same age as I am! You don’t get to retire!” At least not on what I was paying him.
He told me his focus would now be on his novels, which by the way, are great! If you’ve enjoyed his columns, you would really like his novels.
So before the beginning of our venture together, former Editor David Fasgold, discovered Jason’s columns and we were instantly hooked on his humor. One day I reached out to Jason and asked him if he would syndicate with a small weekly paper. He agreed to do it for $10 a month. Most columnists of his caliber are several thousands of dollars a year, so I gladly wrote him a check.
The rest is history.... and so is Jason after 4 more weeks.
But wait, you say. His column wasn’t in last week’s paper, but is back now.
Well, that was my bad and his. You see, I couldn’t remember if he was retiring the first of August or the last of August and when I didn’t see his columns, I just thought he was done! Well, he sent them late on Friday and I was already out on the ranch working, so we get another 4 weeks of Jason!
Best of luck to my friend Jason on his new venture. We will miss “As I Was Saying.”

KWIBS - From  August 3, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

As crazy as the world is these days, you can only count on me to make fun of the headlines. Ready?
Every player and coach on the Yankees & Nationals took a knee before the national anthem the other night in D.C
But to be fair, maybe they were ducking in case Dr. Fauci threw out another first ball!
Princess Beatrice got hitched in a private ceremony
Her dad, Prince Andrew, didn’t give away the bride… instead he traded her for two bridesmaids and flower girl to be named later.
Trump claims people need more water pressure in their bathrooms
Welp, what do you expect after eating all those cans of Goya beans?
Mark Zuckerberg surfboards in Hawaii with way too much sunscreen
No, he actually is that white.
Taylor Swift drops new album, ‘Folklore,’ she did while in self quarantine
I still haven’t decided whether to go with alphabetical or size to organize my spice rack…
Happy 97th birthday, Bob Dole
Bob Dole says thank you to all who wished Bob Dole a ‘happy birthday’ on Bob Dole’s birthday.
Seattle Kraken is new name for Seattle’s NHL franchise
No word if their new arena will be known as the Krackhouse.
White House touts coming executive order on healthcare, saying it will “have teeth”
But, ironically, no dental.
House Republicans lash out at Liz Cheney over Trump criticism
Cheney is one step away from offering her fellow GOP Congress people free hunting trips with her Dad.
Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin became first human beings to land on moon, 51 years ago.
And they still haven’t been able to get their luggage.

KWIBS - From  July 27, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I wrote the headline on the front page. “Joey is the new ‘Norm’ at White’s.”
I couldn’t resist the play on words. I don’t know that anyone could actually become the new “Norm,” but Joey will be as close as one could strive to be. He’ll be “normal.” (He’ll be better than that)!
It’s been quite a whirlwind and emotional couple of weeks for us. Originally the White’s family offered Joey a store in Phillipsburg, KS. Joey had accepted that three weeks before Norm Clouse made his announcement that he was leaving the store and buying a local business. Joey and his fiance’ Haley had even gone house shopping in “P-Burg.”
It was a long way away from all of us, but we were excited for Joey. That was where Joey was up until 2017, so he knew many of the employees and people in the community. Everyone was excited for him to come back to “P-Burg”.
But, things changed!
Joey started out, just like Norm, working for the Whites in high school. Joey worked for Norm and helped set the new store in Medicine Lodge back in 2011, way back when the store was on Main Street. It was in 2017 that the Whites offered Joey an opportunity for his own store in St. John, KS. Joey got to set his own store along with Jordan White.
Norm got to spend a lot of time in St. John helping Joey and was always available to answer his questions. The two of them would often meet in Pratt to exchange store items and have a quick lunch. I jumped in with Norm one Tuesday and surprised Joey in the old Alco parking lot.
Although a shock to hear that Norm was leaving the store, we can be excited about his family’s newest adventure and business opportunity. Most of you already know, but we’ll wait for him to officially announce it. In the meantime, he and his family are on a much needed vacation.
Congratulations Norm, Joey (welcome home) and thank you to the Whites for always creating opportunities for others.

KWIBS - From  July 20, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Sorry about this column, but my inner 13-year-old boy took over my keyboard this week.
This story is true and was posted on July 9th. I don’t know how I could have missed it last week, but it squeaked by me until I caught it this week.
Being a bondsman and a Bail Enforcement Agent, this story made me giggle. I’ve had some really good “hiders” in my day, most recently a guy hid under a pile of clothes in his baby daughter’s room. He blended right in and I searched that room three times before I finally found him.
Here’s the best story though:
Law enforcement officers in Missouri managed to capture a man wanted for possession of a controlled substance after he gave away his position in an unorthodox way.
He farted. Loudly. Or, at least, with enough volume to get the attention of the police officers looking for him.
"If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a [poop emoji] day," the Clay County Sheriff's Office wrote in a Facebook post, which included the hashtag "#ItHappened."
A local TV station requested more information on the case and the sheriff's office responded on Facebook with, "the person was arrested over the weekend on a Clay County warrant for Possession of a Controlled Substance. We’ve gotta give props to Liberty (Missouri) PD for using their senses to sniff him out!"
The official Twitter account of the City of Liberty also had some fun with the incident.
"The Liberty Police Department was surprised to see this incident slip out, which stinks for the arrestee," the city wrote in a post on Twitter. "Fortunately, no one was injured during his arrest."
The city also thanked the sheriff's department for "airing out a wanted person's dirty laundry and fanning the flames."

KWIBS - From  July 13, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Our lives are full of decisions. Some are big decisions and some are like what to order for lunch.
Decisions shape our destiny. The wrong decisions can lead you down the wrong path, whereas the right decisions can lead you down the right path. Learn from your bad decisions and improve upon them, as your daily decisions determine the life that you will live.
The hardest decisions in life are the ones you have no control over. Maybe you have to choose what to do after you lose a job or career. Maybe you preside over an organization that has to make a difficult decision. Maybe you have to make a decision about your health. Maybe you have to watch one of your children make a choice - and maybe you disagree, but it’s their choice.
Sometimes you actually have no choice. You are in the passenger seat and someone else is driving, but you still decided to get into that car!
My week has been through a roller-coaster of decisions. I don’t always make the best decisions, but I always try to “sleep on things,” before making them and “never rush them,” as my dad would say.
A friend told me, “Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.” There’s a whole lot of truth in that statement.
I guess in the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take and the decisions we waited to make. It feels like the hardest thing and the right thing are the same, but they are completely opposite. So, I leave this column, written for someone who won’t probably even read it:
“Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that’s for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they’d just had the courage to leap.” Doe Zantamata

KWIBS - From  July 6, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I hope you had a wonderful Independence Day!
I want to thank my son-in-law Miguel Hernandez for helping us get the lake all spiffy for the celebration. He is one hard worker! Thank you Miguel!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  June 29, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Have a Happy 4th of July!!!

KWIBS - From  June 22, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

If you see a fire fighter or dispatcher this week, thank them!
Several fires broke out across the county and area during harvest last week.
It was our 32nd wedding anniversary and Ronda and I decided to take a trip to tour a new company called “Restore.com”.
On our way there, we passed through a fire line that was about 10 miles long between Kingman and Cheney. Several structures were in danger.
The fires must have just started because not many rescue and fire vehicles were there yet. It was long after we had passed Cheney that we saw a line of heroes heading that way.
I’ve done controlled burns, but never been a fire fighter. I’ve always admired my friends who will drop everything to go and help a neighbor in that way.
It’s also a good feeling to know that our local volunteers are well trained and have pretty modern equipment to work with. You can sleep well at night knowing that they will be there when you need them.
So back to restore.com. This is a wellness service started by our cousins Amanda and Andy Roy and partners. Amanda is a former resident of Medicine Lodge. The facility offers a variety of wellness treatments like cryotherapy, compression, IV drip, vitamin injections and many other services that I don’t quite understand.
Ronda tried the full cryotherapy. She got in this machine that looked like the one that froze Han Solo in carbonite in Star Wars.
I watched as the temperature went to -159 and looked through the glass as Ronda fought to stay in for the full time, which she did! She came out with a roll of smoky liquid nitrogen and said it was like being stabbed with a thousand needles. Soon after, she felt like a million bucks! I did some local cryo treatments on my hand and shoulders. No, I didn’t chicken out. I couldn’t pass the medical because I have heart stents.
I did get the vitamin B12 and complex shot and felt amazing on Thursday morning. If you want to learn more about this, visit their website!

KWIBS - From  June 15, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

June 17, 2020 marks our 32nd anniversary! I’m talking about me and Ronda. Not many can say they’ve been married 32 years when they got married at 18 and 19. I was just one month out of high school.
So what’s the secret to a successful marriage?
I would say, keep your mouth from outrunning your brain. That’s a joke. I would actually say, laugh a lot, love a lot more and remember Proverbs 5:18: May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
I am a blessed man. I love you Ronda. Happy Anniversary!
 

Our engagement photo from 1988

KWIBS - From  June 8, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

When I hear someone say, “I just enjoy mowing the grass,” it makes me want to throw a sucker punch.
I love summer. I love everything about summer, except one thing: mowing the grass.
The weird thing is, I don’t mow my own grass, but every week I mow around 20 acres of roadways, spillways and a dam that is 1/4 mile long at up to a 29 degree angle. My son-in-law mows my grass and two other houses at our ranch. He also mows about three days straight at the lake.
I only have to mow this dam grass a few times a year, but it pencils off at least two days of my life each time it occurs. I wasn’t cursing there by the way.
I will admit, most of the time, I’m sitting in an air conditioned cab of a tractor, but when it is in the upper 90s, the air conditioner button is just a knob that I touch with hopes to stop the continuous sweating that the tiny 4x4 cab creates like a green house. The windows and doors do not open (yes, the doors open so you can get in and out, but you can’t leave them safely open while driving). The back window opens a crack, but when open, it throws dirt and debris inside the cab defeating the purpose of opening the window for a little bit of fresh air.
The best part about mowing the dam grass is my lovely wife will usually bring me lunch and we have a picnic overlooking the water.
The worst part about my mowing job is that, one wrong move, one twitch or turn of the wheel, I either end up falling 60’ to the ground to the south or trapped under water if I tip over to the North. The steepest angle I mow is around 30 degrees, which the manual reminds me, is over the maximum.
Thank you Lord for NAPA in Medicine Lodge for carrying R-34a coolant! I’m even more thankful that the owner lives nearby and I can usually call him for parts and he will run them out after work! Hope you are enjoying your summer!

KWIBS - From  June 1, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I was so excited last Christmas when my “gift” to myself came in.
You see, I have a problem with shopping online. Yes, I admit, I’m drawn in by social media advertising and I often buy things like fly catchers, steel toe tennis shoes, the “useless box” (stop in and it’s on my desk), playing cards, a Star Trek Communicator, mugs and cups and other items that are completely unnecessary, but I just can’t help myself.
The Star Trek Communicator was just too cool and I had to have it. Aaron Traffas eat your heart out.
I find myself trolling Facebook just before bed and I’m bombarded with things that I just have to have! I didn’t even know I needed them until I got online and saw them.
But this item was king of them all when it came to “I NEED THIS!”
I even called my buddy Derrick Swinehart and told him the news. Although this item would only be used in the summer at the lake, he also agreed that I needed it!!
So what was it? The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?
Before I tell you, I ordered this item right at the end of summer and sort of forgot that I bought it. It just showed up from China like three months later and I was like, “Oh ya, I bought that!”
The item was a giant magnet with about 30 feet of rope! This magnet was to be thrown off your boat and dragged across the bottom of the lake.
In the advertising video, a man is seen dragging things in like bicycles, chairs, rings and even a gun!
I couldn’t wait to try it!!!!
Finally, Memorial Day weekend we cast it out, over and over and over.
We never pulled in one thing.
I’m not giving up. If it is strong enough that Ronda can’t pull it off of the fridge, then I will find something cool!
 

KWIBS - From  May 25, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Every day is a countdown to a few special events in our lives.
In October our Son Nick and his Wife Natalie will return state side from Okinawa. Nick has had a very long, three-year tour stationed on the tiny tropical island. Although beautiful, it’s challenges include blistering hot and humid days and typhoons. He’s currently just coming out of a typhoon this week.
Also, in October, we are proud to announce the pending arrival of our newest grandchild! Bree and Miguel Hernandez and their brothers Erick, “lil’ Miguel, Erick, Ashley, Kycen and Baylee will wecome home a new brother or sister.
I’m hoping for another grandson.
Last week, all the boys and Baylee picked up fence posts and dragged them about 70 yards and put them in a pile for me. We paid them .30 each for every log. When it was all over, we just paid them all whether or not they worked that hard. They were great help and I couldn’t help but ponder how much I could get done with this kind of work force! lol....
Over the soggy Memorial Day weekend, my Son Joey announced who he picked for his best man and groomsman. Next July he plans to marry his love, Ms. Haley Gomes, from just outside of Denver.
I’m so very proud of Joey. He’s been with the White’s Family Foodliner now for almost 11 years. He manages the store in St. John, KS
So every day, I mark off a day representing something that’s going to brighten our future on the calendar, anticipating a grand family reunion like we’ve not had in almost 4 years!
I hope your Memorial Day was special. It certainly was a busy one for us and it was a day to remember those that our family wished farewell. We may honor them with flowers on graves, but they are forever in our hearts.

KWIBS - From  May 18, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I’m an excellent planner. I’m just a terrible weatherman.
I started putting in phone calls a couple of weeks ago to some folks out at the lake. I had reached out to a company in South Dakota for some ski slips. These things aren’t cheap, so the more you buy, the cheaper they get and shipping and installing them goes way down when you have a big order.
Well, it took me about two days and I had 7 slips ordered. The owner of the company offered me a sales position and I laughed and reminded him that this was probably a one time deal.
All the arrangements were made, they left South Dakota on Tuesday, made it to Kansas City on Thursday for more material and then headed our way. Well, we had about 1.5” of rain that week.
Anyway, it made for a sloppy mess, but we got it all done!
Also last week, I made arrangements to have someone come and quote us on some new fences on the ranch. These fences are nearly 80 years old and were in bad need of repair and replacement. I’ve been piecing them back together for three decades and even burned right through one section last year. We have cows everywhere, except for where they are supposed to be at times.
Remember, we had 1.5” of rain.
When Nute and Flint Rucker arrived to talk fence, they were dressed appropriately with coats and muck boots. I had just slipped on some tennis shoes and jeans and we headed out for a little walk across the muddiest earth on the planet.
Needless to say, the excursion cost me my tennis shoes, socks and jeans. Somehow my wife will get them clean. I don’t know how she does it. I think it’s some sort of black magic. Flint and Nute looked completely clean when they got into their truck.
It also cost me another shower for the day, but I managed to get presentable enough to make it to work by 1 p.m. Thank you for the rain Lord. I’ll try to incorporate that into my next planning process.

KWIBS - From  May 11, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Governor Kelly continues the needless agony
– Dane Hicks is publisher of The Anderson County Review in Garnett, Kansas.
Governor Laura Kelly’s one-size-fits-all approach to the reopening of Kansas after the Covid-19 shutdown further damages the bureaucracy-hammered Kansas economy, and puts her in the running with her friend and former Governor Kathleen Sebelius for the title of most economically damaging governor in state history.
Last week Kelly laid out a three-phase blanket plan for the reopening of Kansas that leaned fully on top-down administration and centralized authorization. Its mandates were based on the assumption that every county, city, neighborhood, nook and cranny of the state was at equal risk from a resurgence of Covid-19. Every restaurant, car dealership, hair salon, bank, livestock sales and auction company, insurance office, and other potential commercial or recreational gathering place was ladled with another helping of state-mandated restrictions, which in reality varied only slightly from the rules in place prior to May 3 and which will extend through at least May 18.
That, despite a continuing confirmation of the ratio between infections and population which has chronicled the outbreak from the beginning: heavier concentrations of population have shown themselves to be consistently more at risk.
Case in point from Saturday’s Covid-10 report from Kansas Department of Health and Environment: of Kansas’ 105 counties, 23 had recorded no cases of people sick with the virus since public health officials began counting, and 57 counties had fewer than 10 cases. Those case counts began when the beginning of the “crisis” was broadly recognized in mid-March and they don’t account for the individuals who have since recovered from the bug.
Still, under both the initial shutdown mandate and even the reopening order from the Governor’s office, the Cactus Club Restaurant in Ness County where no cases were ever recorded was torpedoed with the same executive fervor as was J. Gilberts in Johnson County, where nearly 600 residents tested positive.
Kelly’s carpet bombing order of the Kansas economy is evidenced by state tax revenue figures for April which are less than half the $1.18 billion Kansas took in during April 2019. March unemployment claims skyrocketed as well in the state to more than 20 times the most recent weekly average.
What’s worse, Kelly’s phasing in of a reopening plan that treats the whole state with the same precautions needed where the virus is more present – Johnson and Wyandotte counties for instance – ensures a continuing erosion of the state’s economic might.
This level of damage wasn’t necessary.
Had Kelly the foresight to see past the need for government to seize the roll as sole protector of the populace, she might have judged the legitimate but measured health concerns in view of the more global damage to be done by such all-encompassing orders. Governors of states like South Dakota, Nebraska, Arkansas and others made recommendations and set guidelines for their populations and their commercial sectors, then trusted in the logic and judgment of their citizenry. They were never under shutdown orders, and their economies saw less damage and have better prospects moving forward. By population, demographics and geography, they are greatly similar to Kansas.
In Kansas the tally of the carnage is yet incomplete, but Kelly’s debacle will most certainly approach that of her friend and cohort Kathleen Sebelius in the latter’s derailing of a $3 billion private investment to expand a coal-fired electric generating plant at Holcomb some years back. Sebelius’ embrace of green principles was intended to put her on President Obama’s political short list for bigger things. Indeed, her appointment to the cabinet post of director of Health and Human Services during the roll out of Obamacare left much to be desired. For her floundering ambition, the Kansas economy paid a historic price.
Kelly’s reopening plan should have stair-stepped its phase restrictions based on the documented impact to date of Covid-19 in individual counties, instead of stamping all of Kansas’ communities like the same bottle cap. Her over-governance has hurt Kansas through the days of Covid-19, and will make a longer road back than need be.

KWIBS - From  May 4, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

You are the class of perseverance. You were the class who didn’t get their senior prom, senior breakfast, spring sports and missed out on all of the things that make you a senior in high school. For that, I am sorry, but I know that this experience will forever change you in a good way.
You have learned that in a blink of an eye, your lives can forever change. Sadly, it is at the expense of all of those things that you should have experienced.
Class of 2020, South Barber and Medicine Lodge. You are unique in so many ways. Just to throw out that, “you are our future” is so cliche. You are the first class in my lifetime that was robbed of all of the joys that a senior should have in their final year of schooling.
I can tell you that your communities stand behind you. We are still just as proud of you even when your year was abruptly cancelled because of a pandemic like none we’ve ever experienced.
This newspaper is dedicated to you. Please know that Ronda and I, Aimee, Bree, Ellis, Don and Joyce all congratulate you on the accomplishments of graduating from High School in your respected communities. We also are sad that our newspaper was not able to feature your track meets, baseball games, afterproms and those important moments when your graduation ceremonies were held. We miss your after graduation parties and celebrations, your invites that we proudly display on our counter in our front office and the stories of all of your accomplishments.
The good news is, life will go on through COVID-19 and you will do more great things in your lives that will be as notable, if not more, than graduating from high school. Most all of you will go out into the world and make names for yourselves. You’ll be the pride and joy of our county as we remember “that time” when things got weird in the world and all was turned upside down.
Just know, we are proud of you and we’re going to have all the memories of you from the time you began school, to the time it abruptly stopped for you. Your caps and gowns are treasures that will one day tell a story of when things changed. We all hope this is temporary, but until we get a true “all clear,” we all understand that it has to be this way. YOU ARE THE FUTURE! We hope many of you will return to our communities and live, work and raise the next generation of Indians and Chieftains. Congratulations classes of 2020 in Barber County! We are proud of you all!
I’d also like to thank Rex Zimmerman for FINALLY allowing us to recognize the 40 years of service he has given to Kiowa and Barber County. Getting him to tell his story was harder than Chinese calculus, but Aimee finally convinced him.. He’s been a long time friend and colleague. His story is on page 5 of this week’s paper. I can’t believe it’s already been a year. Time’s fun when you’re having flies. Rex always said he was a dinosaur. Maybe so, but he’s mentored me, the next generation of dinosaurs. I’m not far behind you old friend.

Have a great week. Stay well and Congratulations Classes of 2020!
 

KWIBS - From  April 27, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Raise your hand if you are tired of COVID-19 and what it is doing to our country. Raise your other hand if you are ready to be over it and ready to be back to normal.
Now reach down and pick up your newspaper.
I believe we are almost over the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. We are very close to meeting the “curve” that the stay at home order was designed to do. People have been slowly learning the 6’ rule and many are doing their part by wearing masks and gloves.
Obviously, we don’t want to live this way forever. We have to overcome fear and responsibly open up for business as usual. This comes with many challenges. We can’t afford any mistakes. A mistake could cost a life.
We are looking at “soft” reopenings across the country, state by state, county by county. I know many people who are working to get factual information in front of those making the decisions to get back to work.
This is not an easy task. There is so much confusing data on COVID-19. There is also so very little known about COVID-19. What is known is that it spreads more rapidly than the common flu, but is generally no more deadly.
As of Wednesday last week of 1,816 cases, 432 required hospitalization. That’s nearly 1 out of every 4 cases. Moving too quickly could change this number. More frightening is the damage being done to our local economy. State income tax figures missed the mark by almost $1.5 million this last quarter.
If we go back to work and life as we knew it, we could risk lives. If we don’t go back to work and life as we knew it, we risk our livelihoods and our American way of life. I pray for those having to make these difficult decisions.

KWIBS - From  April 20, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

By the looks of things, thirty days of staying at home is making almost everyone crazy!
I’ve been fortunate (?) enough to be in an essential service, so we’ve continued working. Aimee and Bree are working from home. Ronda and I are working the office and building the newspaper. Email and cell phones are how we’ve done business. We’ve worked through those challenges to, what I believe, resulted in the printing some of the best editions of our newspaper in history.
That doesn’t excuse the fact that we are all suffering some mental meltdowns during our social distancing because of COVID-19..
Your emails, calls, instant messages, tweets and remarks on Facebook keep me from completely losing my sanity.
In the last month, I’ve laughed at funny COVID-19 jokes and memes, cried from learning a friend and a family member who have contracted the virus and are both fighting it hard with success so far.
It’s to find a channel on TV that doesn’t at some point mention the pandemic. Sometimes I just want to shut my mind off and watch brainless television.
We happened to run across a game show where people have to eat extremely hot chicken wings and then answer questions to move on. The Game Show, hosted by Sean Evans, is currently on truTV. On Hot Ones: The Game Show, two teams of two go head-to-head through three rounds, answering pop-culture trivia questions while eating chicken wings doused in brutally hot sauce.
These people were sweating and running around like they were on fire. It was pretty brainless and provided us a little entertainment. I suggest you watch it if you are as bored as we are at times!

KWIBS - From  April 13, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I’m starting to miss people; some people anyway.
Through this crisis, I’m still being reminded that my car warranty has expired, at least 4 times a day.
I’ve read reports that pollution is down in the cities because people are staying home. That’s great, but then the KDHE is telling farmers and ranchers not to burn their pastures because of potential health risks from inhaling smoke. I guess they are more afraid of inhaling smoke than they are burning alive in an uncontrolled wildfire.
Not much in the world is making sense. We were told not to wear masks, now we’re told it might be ok.
The internet erupted last week with the news that Barber County had its first COVID-19 case. The responses were interesting. If you follow us on Facebook, check out some of the conversations.
I do so want to thank our hospitals, health department and emergency management people who have been placed into a situation like we’ve never seen before. I am glad that officials are working around the clock to make sure we are safe. I hate the stay at home order, but I get it. We are all at risk of either getting the virus or being asymptomatic and possibly spreading it to those who could get it and possibly die.
Our lifeline is our business community. Last week several eating establishments closed their doors out of caution. This broke my heart. I know how hard this is becoming on everyone, but we have to keep our chins up (from six feet away).
A ray of sunshine broke last week. Both of our local banks and Barber County Development started reaching out to businesses to offer SBA assistance in the form of forgivable loans for the PPP (Paycheck Protection Program).
We applied and got just a little help, but we’re grateful for that. Both banks were very helpful and acted quickly to assist our local businesses.
We intend on continuing to grow our county when this all gets resolved. Keep praying for our communities, our country and the world. Wash your hands often and don’t touch your face. Stay 6 feet away and make your essential outings short and sweet and to the point. Let’s all work together!
 

KWIBS - From  April 6, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

In this time of crisis, the last thing I want to do is raise more alarm, but this release came into our office last week. I can’t even believe it was considered:
“April 1, 2020 -- Today, The Kansas Department of Health and Environment held a press conference announcing the use of a GPS program to track residents’ locations through their cell phones. Department head of KDHE, Dr. Lee Norman, announced at the press conference that such measures are necessary to track the measures of social distancing in counties across Kansas.
Kansas Justice Institute, a public-interest litigation firm specializing in the protection of constitutional freedoms, sent a letter to Kansas Governor Laura Kelly, expressing serious legal concerns with this action.
The wholesale, warrantless collection of cellular data raises significant privacy issues, even during a pandemic.”, warns general counsel and litigation director of KJI, Samuel MacRoberts.
Kansas Justice Institute strongly urges Gov. Kelly to make public the details of the tracking program as well as provide a thorough legal justification for this program that impacts the privacy of Kansas cell phone carriers.
“The COVID-19 pandemic does not justify warrantless data searches of Kansas residents, and it certainly does not justify the lack of transparency. Although the Kansas Legislature has provided broad executive powers during emergencies, they are not absolute,” says Sam MacRoberts.
This, on top of overlooking some KORA and KOMA requirements, has me concerned we still have a consitution and we are forgetting to live by it.
Hold our government officials accountable to uphold the constitution. We need to make sure that short term measures do not become the norm when we are “all clear.”

KWIBS - From  March 30, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

During this time of crisis, I want to give some pats on the back to our local merchants who are doing their absolute best, above and beyond, to keep our community alive.
No doubt this will be a defistating impact on the businesses in Barber County, but the acts of kindness I’ve witnessed and the extra time people are taking to make their customers feel safe and secure is amazing.
Thank you especially to White’s Foodliner for keeping the community’s food supply in tact. What a blessing it is to have such a store in our town. Norm and his crew are doing an amazing job. I know it might feel thankless, but I am grateful that Pat and Tonya White chose Medicine Lodge to have such a fine store with great selections. I’m obviously partial. My son is the manager in St. John’s White’s Foodliner. I know how tired he is, but I also know how committed he is to serving his community.
Hometown Market is tryng to get their shelves filled as quickly as they are emptied. They are super dedicated to serve Kiowa and the surrounding area. Hibbards has been amazing at getting scripts filled. Marci is doing all she can to provide to go orders at the coffee shop. Most of our food services are happy to offer curb side, so please keep ordering from them! Farm Bureau has been most helpful with things over the phone and through email. Both banks are still taking care of business, although not face to face for the most part. Every business is doing its part. Thank you Barber County!
You all are amazing and I pray for our little piece of heaven on earth that we call Barber County. It will take a village to keep us alive after much of this is over. It will be over, but we are no where near out of the woods. Everyone should follow a stay at home policy when possible. It helps the most vulnerable people we have and those with underlying conditions.

KWIBS - From  March 23, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Wow.
Things changed drastically this past week with a declaration of a national emergency.
Our county was ahead of the curve when Dr. Pete Meador notified local schools that they should close for a minimum of two weeks. This created multiple reactions throughout the county. Some were positive, some were negative, but I applaud him for being proactive. One day after his announcement, Governor Laura Kelly followed shutting down all schools in Kansas for the remainder of the school year to slow the spread of COVID-19.
The saddest thing about cancelling school is knowing that our seniors in Kiowa and Medicine Lodge will miss some important mile stones like prom, baseball and softball, track, state events, music programs; all of which would be their last as students in Barber County Schools. It breaks my heart to know that we probably won’t be able to put together senior pages to honor them at this time.
It’s important we stop the spread of COVID-19. Even if fewer people die from this than the flu, it could quickly overwhelm our medical services and put more lives at risk, especially the elderly and those with underlying medical conditions.
Throughout the coming weeks, we will print the news and we will keep you updated through our Facebook page. If you just don’t want to get out to buy a paper, we understand and encourage you to subscribe to our PDF viewer, which is the entire newspaper online. Visit www.gyphillpremiere.com.
We are trying diligently to share vital information with you multiple times a day through Facebook and as we are open for business, we are not doing unscheduled appointments with the public. Please see page 3 for all contact information for our offices during this “cooling down period.”
Stay well friends.

KWIBS - From  March 16, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. - Charles Dickens
Ya, I didn’t write that. Last week my column was about not freaking out over the latest virus. I’m trying hard to follow that advice.
Dickens sounds like he wrote a story about Coronavirus (COVID-19).
In two short weeks, we’ve cracked jokes about this nasty virus that has now shut down international travel, sporting events, college classes and crushed thousands of points of gain on the stock market. Before the virus, the economy was growing and stocks were continuing to climb. Probably most alarming is the price of oil.
What may reflect as a great deal to fill up your gas tank at the pump actually means that our local oil producers are suffering and many could find themselves without work.
The now Pandemic has creeped into every aspect of our lives. Stores are out of hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, even toilet paper. Many mass gatherings have been cancelled.
There will be an end to this and some of the fear is unfounded, caused by the necessary precautions to stop the spread of this virus.
Social distancing.... don’t shake hands, don’t hug, don’t touch your face, wash your hands frequently, use hand sanitizer cough into your arm.
Have a great week! (Hope I didn’t ruin it for you)

KWIBS - From  March 9, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Everything in the last 20+ years has pointed to the end of the world.
It all started with Y2K. Then in 2001 we had the attack on the Twin Towers and an Anthrax scare. Al Qaeda was going to kill us too; Global warming were going to kill us; In 2002 it was West Nile Virus that was going to kill us; 2003 SARS was going to kill us; 2005 Bird Flu was going to kill us; 2006 E. Coli was going to kill us.
Then the world about came to an end when the stock market went south in 2008. We managed to survive that somehow and it has more than rebounded. But wait, now “Climate Change” was going to kill us.
Don’t forget in 2009 Swine Flu was going to kill us; 2010 BP Oil spills were going to kill the ocean and all of us along with it; in 2011 Obamacare was going to kill us. It killed my insurance, but I’m still typing.
2012 was the big one. The Mayan Calendar was certain to be the end of the world. It wasn’t. Later in 2013 it was North Korea that was going to kill us; 2014 Ebola was going to kill us; 2015 Measles and ISIS were going to kill us (they may have been colluding, but I can’t prove that; 2016 Zika was going to kill us.
Starting in 2017 we were all going to die according to the “fake news”; Migrant Caravans were coming to kill all of us in 2018; and the Measles made another run at us in 2019.
Now it looks like we’re going to all die from Coronavirus. Seriously though, we need to stop panicking about everything. Something has to kill us eventually, but probably not Coronavirus.
Take a deep breath (not too deep and cover your face). We’re going to be all right.

KWIBS - From  March 2, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Jack of all trades - master of none.
That’s me.
I’m really decent at cooking, grilling and eating. I’m ok at some musical instruments like guitar, bass and drums. I’m also a pretty good singer. I can say that confidently as I get positive affirmation from my wife and have been in several bands over the past 25 years.
You may not know this, but I actually went to school for carpentry, woodworking and interior design. I spent a few years at that. I even helped build three houses, including my own.
In addition to newspaper publishing, I’m also a decent heavy equipment operator. I can run backhoes, graders, most tractors and skid steers with a little instruction.
When it comes to mechanicing, I’m all over the map. I can do the old change “service” on most of the farm equipment. I can almost always take things apart. I just don’t always remember how they go back together.
I would say that I’m better with small engines than larger ones. I can tear into a motorcycle and 90% of the time, I can fix what’s wrong or at least diagnose it.
Boat and jetski motors are a mystery to me. I usually end up messing those up. They end up needing more work when I’m done tinkering with them than when I started.
So I took on a 1970 T500 Galion road grader water pump project last week. Water pump - 1; Kevin - 0. I had to call in a favor from my friend Rick F. Rick has helped me with my tractor repairs in the past. I managed to break off two bolts and he only broke one, but with any luck, this machine will be conquered and back in service. I have faith in Rick.
At least I’m hoping it will be fixed because I need to grade some roads after several days of rain and snow!
I’m ready for warm weather. How about you?

KWIBS - From  February 24, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

Although I did fall asleep through part of it, I did attempt to watch the Democrat Debate in Nevada last week.
My official party affiliation is Republican, but I lean Libertarian and was once a Democrat myself. I did not vote for Trump in 2016 because I never thought he could beat Hillary, but I will in 2020. It’s not that I like the guy as a person, but he’s getting things done and the Democrats seem to be completely off the rails, only looking to get him out of office, anyway possible.
The debate was a disaster for Bloomberg.
MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” played a montage of Bloomberg’s “worst moment” and Mika Brzezinski said he was “hard to watch," Lawrence O’Donnell said the billionaire suffered "the worst blows" of the evening and an NBC News article co-bylined by Chuck Todd, Mark Murray and Melissa Holzberg said "the biggest individual news from the debate was Michael Bloomberg struggling to defend his stop-and-frisk record as New York City mayor, as well as the non-disclosure agreements his company settled with women."
“For a guy who is worth $55 billion and says he could run the world, he couldn't even run his own microphone last night," Joe Scarborough said.
CNN’s Van Jones declared the debate a “disaster” for Bloomberg and the liberal news organization published a roundup of opinions headlined “It's unanimous: a horrible night for Bloomberg.”
I took to Twitter to see the comments and found my all time favorite.
Brian Fallon said, “This debate has been a NASCAR race and Bloomberg wrecked on pretty much the first lap.
That made me laugh out loud.

KWIBS - From  February 17, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

There was a collective sadness last week when we heard the news that Deven Leis lost his battle with cancer.
“No one fights alone,” was the motto as our community rallied to support Deven through his cancer treatments. #52 was on everyone’s wrist.
It felt weird wearing that bracelet while standing next to a sidelined football player that was about 6 inches taller than me. During his treatments, Deven didn’t play football that season, but was still right there with his tribe. We spent a lot of time walking up and down the sidelines.
We’d chit chat about the game, do a little arm chair quarter backing together and joked around. He was a pleasant kid trying to tackle life.
We didn’t win every game. In fact, it was a tough year for the Indians with Deven not playing. Deven fought and played hard on the field, on the court and in life, until the end.
We lose people, but when it’s someone so young, it leaves a great sadness in our hearts. Deven was just a few years younger than my son Nick. They played football in high school together. The news of his passing came Monday while I was at work. I sent Nick a text to tell him, but it was 12 hours difference in time, so he woke up to the news he had lost a classmate and teammate.
It floors me how fast kids grow up, as I grow older. As far back as our digital archives go, Deven was mentioned in the newspaper over 30 times.
Prayers for the Leis family, our schools and the community as we remember a great kid.
#52

KWIBS - From  February 3, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I like stability, normalcy, tradition, etc. That’s why I had a melt down last week when my wife wanted to paint our kitchen a different color.
She’s quite the same when it comes to moving or rearranging furniture. Nothing sparks a lively discussion in our house than painting or rearranging furniture.
So after her kitchen project, I pointed out some not so contrasting colors leading into our living room. That was a huge mistake. She came home the next day with sample paints for the fireplace and wanted to paint the oak mantle I had built and sanded and stained and labored over for days, the color “white.” She also wanted to paint the angled wall that the fireplace sits in. I love this woman, but did I mention I hate painting?
After some discussion, that included me saying, “If you paint that wall, you’ll be chasing colors all over the living room until you get to the stairwell and I told you 12 years ago that it would be that color until I died or we left the house.”
I nearly died the last time we painted that wall.
I also DID NOT under any circumstances, want to move the furniture, take down the TV, stereo, Grandfather Clock, etc. My head was spinning at the thought of my future back pain.
I left the house, as I had planned, to go work on the tractor. That tractor got so much work done, it’s like a new tractor.
I expected to come home to drop cloths and the smells of more fresh paint. Instead, I came home 3 hours later to the sad face and limited conversation. I felt badly.
Karma..... For my reward, I caught some sort of Influenza A-Z, SARS, Ebola or Coronavirus. Maybe it was just a cold. Whatever it was, it kicked my rear end and kept me down for most of the week. It also kept my wife from painting the living room because she caught it too. I do have to admit, the kitchen looks great!
I wonder if you serve lime with Coronavirus?
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  January 27, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I’m at a loss for words this week in expressing my grief and condolences for the death of Trey Orr.
There are so many emotions, mostly sadness in our community, when they speak Trey’s name. Four years ago his wife Sherrill passed away. She was obviously the love of his life and he was never quite the same after she died. Trey remained someone you could talk to, get good advice from, be encouraged by, shoot a round of golf with and have a beer with. He was a normal guy, but he had pain that he expressed with very few people around him.
I choose to remember him as the coach, high school counselor and all-around good guy in our community. His death reminds me to be keenly aware of how, no matter how one looks on the outside, we never really know what’s going on inside.
Tell your friends you care about them. I’m going to try and do better about that. Life sometimes gets in the in the way of remembering to care.
 

Friends are far, friends are near.
Friends will be there to lend an ear.
They listen, laugh, and care,
But most of all, they're always there.

Through thick and thin, up and down,
Your true friends are always around.
For treats, hugs, and real big smiles,
They'll travel to you from several miles.

They'll always be there to hold you tight.
Anytime, no matter if it's day or night.
You really know when your friends are sincere
When they always show up to lend their ear.


God bless the family of Trey Orr “Three Paddles”

KWIBS - From  January 20, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve been printing Conservation Editions for more than 30 years. It was in 2006 that I actually started reading the articles. Frankly, before that, I had no knowledge or desire to know what it was all about.
That changed when my wife and I took over her grandmother’s ranch. Over the last 14 years, I can’t think of a year that I did not use the services of NCRS. I’ve found the resources to be endless when it comes to helping me find solutions to problems.
I’ve not signed us up for a single program, but they have been so gracious in giving advice and providing services.
It was through their offices that I was introduced to The Gyp Hills Burn Association and what they did. Through that introduction, I have met an amazing group of men and women committed to controlled burning and property improvement programs.
Instrumental in helping Ronda and I do our first major burn were the Alexanders. Ted and his son Brian went beyond friendship and being neighborly, to literally helping with every aspect of getting our property prepared. They introduced us to a burn plan specialist, helped write a burn plan, provided equipment and helped round up more than 50 other farmers, ranchers and friends and an army of equipment to ensure we had a safe and productive burn of 600 acres, nearly half the ranch!
Although I’ve only been a member for 1 year, I have a history of about 5 years of participating in controlled burns. I am by no means an expert, but have learned so much from folks like Tom Carr, the Alexanders, Robert Larson, Keith and Eva Yearout, Jeff Clarke and countless others.
Taking care of your property transforms you into a lover of the land and it all starts with conservation, especially when you have the help of your local conservation district.
Congratulations to all the Bankers Award Winners and to all who have helped me and Ronda over the years.

KWIBS - From  January 13, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

We live out in the country and have since 1989. We’re used to critters.
When I was a kid, animals were featured in just about every cartoon I watched. They were funny and cute! They are nothing like that in real life.
Bugs Bunny? We’ve got him. He’s the reason we can’t have nice things like flowers and gardens.
Tom and Jerry? We’ve got Jerry for sure. We can’t seem to make Tom stay around. Jerry doesn’t grab 2x4s and hit me in the feet while I’m setting traps. Contrary, he dies at the end of nearly every episode at my house.
Daffy Duck? We have two ponds very close to our house, so Daffy sometimes comes around and does his business on my front porch. Not cool Daffy, not cool.
Pepé Le Pew? He’s French, he stinks and if he gets too close to the house, he gets dead. I don’t care how charming he was in the cartoons. You don’t seduce me at all. Penelope was right to avoid relations with you.
Bambi? Oh Bambi. You are cute until I’m traveling 60 mph and you run out in front of me or my wife’s vehicle. Thousands of dollars that Bambi and family have cost us over the years.
Charlotte’s Web? Charlotte has been teaching me how to be a drunk Ninja for most of my adult life, setting up little traps for me to walk through on the front porch at about mouth or forehead height.
Starting last week we thought we had someone knocking on the door that never appeared to be there. We actually got alarmed. I went to the door with a gun at one point in my underwear. The annoying knocking was interrupting our sleep and intimate times. I was getting very frustrated at our ghost knocker!
Introducing the newest cast member to our country living: Woody Woodpecker. Woody showed up last week.
When he’s not knocking, his theme song is rolling around in my head. When he is knocking I’ve been known to throw boxes of kleenex at the window to scare him off. That laugh..... ugh.
 

KWIBS - From  January 6, 2020 - By Kevin Noland

The most noticeable thing about the holidays are that my clothes keep shrinking.
I am pretty sure my wife is doing this to me, but I can’t prove it.
We normally eat pretty well in our house. By that I mean healthy portions of food. Our refrigerator currently looks like we are feeding a family of 10 instead of 2, but that’s the aftermath of the holidays.
Also a casualty of the holidays is my wallet.... We have 3 kids plus a daughter-in-law, son-in-law, fiance’ and 5 grandkids now. No problems fitting my wallet in my pocket the last week or so.
One thing that I believe is a right of passage, is to buy annoying gifts for my grandkids. This year, I bought them all Nerf Guns. These aren’t the Nerf Guns of my youth. These are near fully automatic, hard hitting, bruise making weapons in the hands of children. Great minds must think alike because their aunt and uncle also bought them, so now I have three heavily armed grandsons.
I did announce at the opening of the gifts, “These gifts are for your house and not to be opened or brought here.”
I did that with an evil smile on my face. My wife wasn’t pleased and thought they should be able to open (fire) these presents and I reminded her that the last time we had these in our house, the picture on our TV never looked the same and we’re still finding darts 20 years later under furniture.
Friday night was our last Christmas (we had three). It started out with rain all day. We live on 4 miles of rough dirt roads that quickly became chocolate pudding. First to get stuck was my son Joey. We got him pulled out and turned around facing the highway. Second to get stuck were my in-laws. After everyone was gone, I had created additional laundry for my wife and gotten mud all over the inside of my truck. It was a regular Christmas I guess. Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  December 30, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

 

So, this is not our normal type of newspaper. It’s a look back. 2019 is soon to be a part of history for all of us.
It was a year of challenges, joy and great sorrow.
We began our year with a trip to Oklahoma City where we picked up Nix and Wendy White at the airport for a night of rock and roll with KISS! Nix is friends with Gene Simmon’s manager and he finagled us back stage passes where we got to take pictures with the band. This was Ronda’s first KISS concert. I had gone with Nix back in 2016 and spent an interesting afternoon behind the scenes of one of history’s greatest rock bands and the legendary Gene Simmons.
Right after we finished up being rock stars we began planning a wedding for our youngest son Nick who serves with The United States Navy and Marines in Okinawa. His bride, Natalie Bare, waited patiently to get married and eventually moved to Okinawa where they will be living until the end of 2020. We got to spend about 14 days with Nick this year. Most of that time was last minute preparations for their wedding, but I can’t tell you how good it was to see him. It could be January of 2021 before he’s out of the service and back in Kansas.
But right before that joyous occasion, tragedy struck our community and we heard the news that we had lost Bob Christensen, a friend to so many. Without intention, Bob’s death sparked a “Be Like Bob” movement. Bob was kind to everyone he met and was an example of living like Christ. His death has left a void for so many in our community. Nick was home for his wedding and we attended Bob’s memorial service as a family. We’ll always remember him.
Also in April, with the overwhelming help of many friends, we did a large controlled burn of our families’ ranch north of Medicine Lodge, better known as “Lake Arrowhead Resort.” It was very challenging and stressful and incredibly successful! Thank you to my burn buddies; especially Brian Alexander and Robert Larson for helping us blaze the way to better land management. The Gyp Hills Burn Association is an amazing organization to belong to. We have a lot yet to learn and a long way to go, but we understand the passion for taking care of our property and making it safe for the residents who are surrounded by prairie grasses that were nearly 6’ tall.
In May The Gyp Hill Premiere and The Kiowa News combined to bring coverage to Barber County. The Kiowa News was a staple in our area for 126 years. Rex Zimmerman and his wife Diann decided it was time for retirement. We have loved getting to cover the entire county and we still hear from Rex every now and then!
Our dear friend Doris Sorg got the nod from the Lincoln Library board to become the new Director. She is so worthy of this position and we are so happy for her. Doris was our rock at the Premiere for 17 1/2 years! That’s commitment!
Not long after Nick’s wedding, my daughter announced that she too was getting married! She and Miguel Hernandez tied the knot in August. Miguel was a dear friend of Bob Christensen’s and we wished he could have been there for the special occasion. We now have three more grandkids: Ashley, Miguel and Eric! Welcome to our crazy family!
We had a retooling of our non-pageant year Peace Treaty Celebration in September. We took a leap of faith after consulting with Jim Rowland of Barber County Development. He helped us retool everything from advertising and sponsorships to the way we marketed ourselves. Thank you to my board and to Jim for helping us achieve a very successful Peace Treaty Celebration in 2019.
As the year moved on, my 40s moved on with it. I turned half-a-century old on October 4th, 2019. I always thought 50 was old, but then I proved it was after a boating accident in September that left me limping to this day, but I haven’t let it slow me down much! For the celebration, Derrick and Shanda Swinehart joined us for a trip to Vegas that we’ll never forget.
As summer slipped away and the trees turned, our attention turned to football. We enjoyed watching the Indians play football, this time as an 8-man squad. They did quite well and we enjoyed watching the season. I also got familiar with The Chieftains, who have amazing talent and went into post season play this year.
What can I say about November? My wife had a birthday. She doesn’t want me to write about that. Thanksgiving was about the high light of the month - great food and festivities.
Now when December hit, that’s when things got crazy. Crazy in a good way. We made a trip to Kansas City a couple of weeks ago and watched the Chiefs play the Broncos. My Son Joey asked Haley Gnomes to be his wife and she said yes! We met up with great friends Nix and Wendy White again; and then the four of us joined some fellow classmates in New Orleans the next day and watched Drew Brees break the touchdown pass record. To top that off, we got to hang out with him and the team after the game!
And just like that, it was Christmas! We enjoyed seeing Ronda’s brother and sister-in-law over the holidays. They drove in from Albuquerque, NM with our Niece Lily and Nephew Sam. Joey was able to take a little time away from his grocery store in St. John, KS and join us and his sister and family for a great holiday!
We don’t know yet what 2020 has in store for us, but I pray it’s blessings, health and joy for you all.
From our family to yours, we wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  December 23, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I had the pleasure of doing a marathon of NFL games last weekend. It started in snowy Kansas City watching the Chiefs beat the Broncos and ended in New Orleans watching Drew Brees and the Saints, beating the Colts. Drew Brees made history Monday night at the Superdome, becoming the NFL’s touchdown-pass king.
A bunch of 50 year old classmates from the MLHS Class of 1988 decided to meet up in New Orleans and watch the record get set in person. Cheryl (Doman) and Steve Ellis, Nix and Wendy White and Ronda and I went to the game in New Orleans and spent a day laughing together. After the game, we got another chance to hang out with Drew and Brittany Brees.


Ronda and I did this exact same trip last November with Nix and Wendy. Nix and Drew are long time friends from when Drew was Quarter Back for the Chargers. Since Nix is always doing these fun trips and including us, Ronda and I invited him to join us on Sunday in Kansas City for the game.
While at the game, I got to introduce Nix and Wendy to 6-time Pro Bowler and retired free safety Deron Cherry.


Kansas City turned white while we were there. Fortunately, we had inside seating, but we did end up leaving early to get to the airport in the blizzard conditions. Sadly, we could have stayed at the game as our flight was delayed almost 3 hours.
This story hops around a bunch, but we went to Kansas City on Saturday with my Son Joey and his girlfriend Haley, who is from Denver. It was her first ever NFL game watching her Broncos get destroyed by Kansas City. Saturday night Joey popped the question at Union Station and now Haley is no longer the girlfriend, but is now the fiance’!!! We were glad she didn’t decide to break off the engagement after the horrific loss. Those poor kids got stuck in the parking lot waiting on a cab for over two hours as chaos erupted after the game. 5” of snow made everyone’s cars look exactly the same and made for an even slower exit from Arrowhead Stadium back to our car at the hotel, which Joey graciously drove back to Wichita and left it at the airport for us.
We finally got in to New Orleans at about midnight and went to bed, but Ronda and I didn’t hold to the “let’s sleep in” suggestion and woke up early ready to eat some crawfish and meet up with Cheryl and Steve. We messed around on Bourbon Street and by noon, Nix and Wendy joined us at the Hard Rock Cafe for lunch. Then we all went to Manning’s for another lunch and more laughs.
The journey to the Superdome is always a fun experience. Tail gaters line up the French Quarter and it’s one big party. We were being pretty responsible adults (for once) that evening, but somehow Cheryl managed to trip and fall in the street, spilling her drink. She was ok, but we made sure she felt the love of her classmates all the way there with jokes about how she’s 50 now and balancing is a hard thing to do.
Before the game, Nix got us all field passes and we watched the team warm up. When Drew tied the record we all were on our feet. When he broke it, the stadium went absolutely nuts. Drew and the Saints easily handled the Colts, 34-7. Drew Brees threw 4 touch down passes for the night, completing 29/30 passes and 307 yards! To say this was an incredible experience is an understatement. It’s now NFL history.
After the game, Drew was kind enough to speak to my Son Nick and his Chaplain’s group in Okinawa. He also was kind enough to take us from the hospitality room down on to the field for some pictures. I can’t thank Nix and Wendy enough for always sharing in the adventures of life with us. After 30+ years, all of us reforged our friendships (Cheryl’s in some blood on her hand and knees from her fall)!
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas. Normally my column would be about that, but I could not hardly wait to thank our friends for such a fun trip.
 

KWIBS - From  December 9, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

I’d like to offer an apology and give a shout out to some hard working guys at the State HWY Department. But first I want to rip a big box chain for their terrible customer service.
Tuesday, I ran into Wichita to grab a TV we had found on Monday. To our amazement, the TV would not fit in the back of my wife’s car, so I had to drive back with my truck to get it.
The entire situation was a mess. On Monday we went to Best Buy and got the last TV they had on sale. They just “held it” for me and expected me on Tuesday. I showed up just before noon and they said that the TV was out of stock. I walked the sales associate over to the box that was scanned the day before and said, “here it is.”
“Well, this is for another customer who ordered online,” said the sales associate.
That’s when I asked for the manager. Within a couple of minutes of me explaining how far I drove and who helped me the night before, he had someone loading up the TV in my truck in a flash.
When I got part way home, I was thinking about my total on the receipt and thought that it was high, so I pulled it out and looked. I was charged an extra $100 for the TV.
I didn’t have any internet service to search for the store information, so I called my wife to get the number to the Maize Road store. I was almost past Cheney by that point and wasn’t turning around. She texted it to me and I called. My first call was 40 minutes on hold of the same Christmas music over and over and then someone picked up and hung up. My second call was near Cunningham. I was on hold until Isabel (almost 30 minutes) and finally got a live person on the phone.
This sales associate took my information and informed me that the price had gone up. The sale was over at midnight on Monday night. The lady I had dealt with on Monday assured me she would honor the price and hold the TV, but this sales associate wasn’t budging. I asked for her manager.
“Click.” She hung up on me.
I met my wife at the house and she helped me unload the TV. She could tell I was not pleased. I headed back to town to the office to get some work done and see if someone else with Best Buy could help me.
In our new technological day and age, you no longer get to speak with real people. When you call, you go through a series of questions that are supposed to help you with customer service issues. After about 20 minutes of that, I gave up and did live chat on the Internet.
The overly friendly representative took my information and my receipt information and basically said, “So sorry, too bad, but is there anything else I can do for you?”
“How about some customer service training,” I asked?
I got no response from that so I asked for in store credit. I shop there a lot.
“Well, we just can’t do that in this situation sir,” he said.
I read from their policy that if I was not satisfied with my purchase that it could be returned within 7 business days and that according to their website, I could print out a shipping label at their expense and they would have to pick the TV up. That seemed to surprise him.
“Surely it will cost you more than $100 to come get this giant TV,” I said politely.
That sort of stumped him, but he agreed. It was a bluff. There was no way I was going to try and pack that TV back in the box to ship back to them.
I requested the transcript of our conversation. He said, “Sure, I will send that right over!”
I never got it and I never got offered my $100 back. They’ll never get $1 out of me ever again. Remember you read my horror experience with Best Buy. That’s BEST BUY. I give them a “no star” rating at this point.
? ? ? ?
Tuesday night after we had the TV set up, I had to run back to town and decided I would load up the trash and take it to the office. Even the empty box weighed a ton and I struggled to get it into the back of my truck. It was a very tight fit and I could barely get the tailgate shut.
I headed to town and pulled into the back of the office. The box was gone.
Now keep in mind, this box was the size of a queen mattress and it was heavy!
In a panic I called the Sheriff’s Office to let them know that there could be a large box in the road north of Medicine Lodge somewhere between town and mile marker 32.
“Oh yes,” said the dispatcher, “someone has already called that in.”
I was so embarrassed and told her that I would be heading north and would pick up the mess.
I headed home, slowly, squinting in the dark for what I thought would be easy to find. I never saw it. So when I got home I called the Sheriff’s Office again to let them know I couldn’t find it in the dark and would look again in the morning.
Wednesday morning, I rolled out and started my search for the giant TV box. Dispatch had told me that it was just south of the Resort Road turn off. Taking my time, I scanned the ditch until I came up on a State dump truck. Suddenly a large plastic sack came flying out of the back of it, narrowly missing me. I pulled over, jumped out and grabbed the sack. I hopped back into my truck and followed the State’s truck back to the HWY Department.
Two guys were getting out of the truck and I asked, “Hey, you guys didn’t happen to find a large TV box on the HWY did you?”
“Sure did,” one answered.
I apologized and explained that I had lost it the night before.
“We’re just going to throw it away,” he said, “unless you want it back.”
I laughed and said I didn’t, but I was sorry to make them go get that.
The other guy said, “No worries Kevin. We call that job security!”
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  December 2, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

My wife is more awesome than your wife.
You need proof?
For years, we have tried, usually ending in failure, to get our ‘Christmas on’ or nearest to, the weekend of Thanksgiving.
Last week (Friday before Thanksgiving) she was bound and determined to get everything in order for Christmas decorating. This could have been spurred by our frantic online shopping spree for our kids Nick and Natalie Noland who are living in Okinawa. We needed their gifts to ship out before Thanksgiving, so that they would have our Christmas gifts in time.
Once the gifts arrived, were wrapped and shipped, she went into full Christmas mode. I woke up on Saturday morning and it looked like Christmas had thrown a frat party in our living room and kitchen. Boxes were everywhere and I was a little freaked out when I saw the mess.
“You go to work and when you get home, I promise, everything will be done,” she assured me.
I rolled in around 4 p.m. to promises kept. The house looked amazing and I stopped being a “Karen” for the moment and went back into “Kevin” mode, which is similar to “Karen,” but not as panicked.
Karen definition: A Karen is a kind of person who is unhappy when little things don’t go their way. They are a, “Can I speak to your manager?” kind of gal. The cranky soccer mom of her friend group that nobody likes.
“Do you see her over there? She’s such a Karen.”
“Hi! You put meat on my son’s turkey sandwich, when he is STRICTLY VEGETARIAN. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll direct your manager over to me right away.”
“Hey, it’s not Christmas. It’s not even December and you’re putting up Christmas decorations?”
Ok, that last one was me, but it really is nice having that part done. Just note that she takes everything down, usually Christmas Day!
 

KWIBS - From  November 11, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

First, I missed his birthday; then I forgot to mail my letter to him for “mail call”. I wasn’t about to miss his homecoming.
Last week was Veterans Day. I skipped my column because, to be honest, the day has a new meaning to me.
My dad passed away back in 2013. He served in the United States Navy from 1965-1969. After he passed away, my youngest son, Nick, chose to follow in his grandpa’s shoes and he too joined the Navy in 2016.
I get pretty emotional around this holiday. I was thinking about my dad and my son last week as I stared blankly at my screen where my column goes.
I couldn’t type a word.
Two days before that, I had the privilege to be at the Kansas Honor Flight welcome home ceremony at Wichita’s Dwight D. Eisnehower National Airport. It was the only thing I thought of all week.
Bill Musgrove was one of the guys who took the last flight of 2019 and was honored to attend with Amy Axline at his side.


It was worth the quick trip up and back to see how Kansas honors its veterans and my way of saying thanks to Bill. Thank you to all our veterans.
Please donate to this great cause: kansashonorflight.org

KWIBS - From  November 11, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Thank you Veterans!

KWIBS - From  November 4, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Anger, frustration, wild accusations, inflated claims, genuine needs and thoughtful consideration.
All of these things are true when we are talking about tomorrow’s bond election. We all love our school district, our faculty and our students. Social media has brought out the best and worst in many of us over discussion of a bond issue(s).
20-some years ago, I laid my neck out on a chopping block and joined a steering committee to make improvements to our school district. I watched at least two bonds fail. I stayed on the committee to watch the last one pass, which I did not vote for because it did not really address the needs of the district and forced us to pay for improvements on a building we eventually, partially vacated.
It’s been long enough ago and I don’t have time to research it, but we dumped a lot of money into the old middle school. We continued to pay on a bond for those improvements long after we left it.
I’m not going to bore you with the facts, but I do have to admit my reservations about this project. My obvious concern is the indebtedness payment responsibility being asked of property owners. Obviously, if your property has little value, you’ll see little increase in your taxes. If you don’t own any property, you might even think you’re off the hook.
If you are one of the lucky (sarcastically) small farm and ranch operations like we are, grab ahold of something because you could be strapped with the majority of the financial burden in paying off a 25 year bond committment - if you live that long and can keep your operation afloat.
No one would ever say improving our schools is not necessary. That’s just nonsense, but we have to be careful to balance those needs and not break small property owners, farmers and ranchers in the process.
Whatever happens tomorrow, I still love my friends and neighbors who support the bond(s) and I certainly love our teachers, faculty and students. I’m a proud Indian alumni - Class of 1988!
Fail or pass. Our kids should always come first.

KWIBS - From  October 28, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

My son serving in Okinawa, Japan is reaching his 1 year exit from the military.
A lot can happen in a year, but when you’ve been away from home for the past 3 years and in a foreign country, you start planning your exit about now, which is completely normal.
We talk a few times a week. His plans change daily, but his dreams do not. Now that he’s married, he’s thinking about his future. With no question, he has his college paid for. He just doesn’t know what to major in. His wife has a plan to become a part of a radiology program and they both are looking at Fort Hays State University for their education.
I remember being 21 years old and not know what I was going to do, so I went to Pratt Community College until something just landed at my feet. It was a chance to own a newspaper and printing company.
For Nick, he has so many interests he doesn’t know what he wants to do. A friend of mine emailed him with some thoughts. In it he said, “Don’t rush it. Let it happen naturally.” I think this is great advice.
I entertain everything he’s interested in. I think it’s good to be a dreamer. All he’s known is structure and military for the past three years. He’s ready to make a change back to “normal” or “civilian” life. With any luck, he won’t be broke when he gets home, has an idea what he wants, already knows that he has full support of both sets of parents and will always have a place to call home.
We would love to see him stay in another 4 years, earn that degree on the military’s dime, maybe have a couple of grandkids with his insurance he has with the Navy. He would be state side for the next 4 years, but Nick says he’s ready to have a change of pace. I can only be proud of him for what he’s already done and encourage him to follow his dreams.
Today is a special day for my other son! Mr. Joey Noland is 27 today. He’s working hard as the manager of White’s Foodliner in St. John, KS. Happy Birthday Buddy!!!!
I’m proud of all of my kiddos! It’s a good feeling to know they are all doing just fine as young adults!

KWIBS - From  October 21, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

A malapropism (also called a malaprop or Dogberryism) is the use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, sometimes humorous utterance.
So when my science teacher in high school said, “orgasmic” instead of “organic,” you can only imagine that I laughed like I was a seventeen-year-old kid; because I was a seventeen-year-old kid.
These days with all of our technology, Dogberryism happens much more frequently in my life with my iPhone. I try to not use the voice to text feature on my phone because either my phone doesn’t understand me, or I am speaking part English / Part Dutch. When you send a text message, it checks spelling mistakes and corrects your writing. Like Siri, iPhone autocorrect has a good sense of humor and often replaces original phases with funny, epic or even scandalous expressions.
These are a few real (funny) autocorrects logged by iPhone users:
* Wife: Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to dead husband! Happy Birthday to you!
Husband: Thanks. I assume you meant “dear”.
Wife: Yes!!! I mean that is a crazy autocorrect! Sorry babe.
* Boy 1: How was the date? Did you? You know?
Boy 2: Not quite. First date we went to dinner and then I killed her in the woods outside her house and left.
Boy 1: Killing her seems a bit harsh.
Boy 2: KISSED, OMG!
* Employee: Very Cool! Mind if I pump you later then?
Boss: Um, excuse me?!
Employee: Oh god, I’m so sorry. I meant, is it cool if I pimp you later? *join (not pump or pimp). Are you going to fire me?
The iPhone autocorrect especially has gained a reputation for making very poor guesses that have led text senders into some very awkward places.
Autocorrect fails never fail to entertain.
Have a Greek Week! I mean Great....
 

KWIBS - From  October 14, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Jo Meador passed away July 10, 1996. A very dear friend to us, Jo was a surrogate mom to my wife Ronda. Ronda’s mom fought cancer for many years and had passed away in 1988. Those following years, Jo was there for Ronda. She even took my oldest son in for his circumcision after he was born because we just couldn’t do it.
Jo’s daughters Halee and Kelsey taught all of our children how to swim. We spent countless days at their house watching movies, eating and swimming.
Jo was an inspiration to everyone who knew her and knew her battle with cancer. She was especially important to us and we still feel the pain of her loss to this day.
20-some years later, Jo’s youngest daughter is battling breast cancer. Halee had just watched her sister go through the same thing not many years before. Both of these girls are family to us and it was heartbreaking news to learn that Halee too had to go through this. Her story is on the front page this week. I’m so thankful that she is sharing her story.
Halee has been sharing her journey through her treatments on social media. If you are a friend of hers, you know what is happening. She’s been very open and very brave through this process.
We love Halee and her family very much. It’s been so hard to watch her go through this, but I am so grateful that she is sharing her story with us during the month of October. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Halee is “fighting breast cancer like a boss.”
If you don’t know this young woman, find her on Facebook and follow her. You won’t find a tougher girl out there. Halee and I have so many inside jokes that we share. Those can’t be printed, but this is for her:
867-5309
You got this girl. God bless you Halee and thank you for sharing your story.
 

KWIBS - From  October 7, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

There’s a very special place in my heart for the rich history of Barber County.
Just a short while back, Medicine Lodge held its annual Peace Treaty Festival which included the Intertribal Powwow and Ranch Rodeo. Both of these events capitalize on our area’s history, along with the Peace Treaty Pageant held every three years. Kiowa also has such a rich history and celebrates the Cherokee Strip and their now 80-year-old Labor Day celebration.
Tourism in Kansas is growing and it’s not something we should take for granted. People enjoy coming to our county to discover history. We have to capture this audience. Get on your internet machine and look up visitgyphills.com - that should help you understand why I’m pressuring everyone to see things differently.
Obviously, I know a whole lot about Medicine Lodge’s history. I came here with my family in 1972, so it’s sort of beat into me. But I am learning about Kiowa.
I’ve been reading about “Old Kiowa” and W.E. Campbell who settled there after the Civil War. Our very own Carry Nation went to Kiowa armed with a brick and threw it through the window of a local bar, probably starting that whole north vs south thing!
So Bob(s), Hays and Cox, this is sort of for you. Sorry to call you out, but I hear nothing but amazing things about you and hope this invitation (although a little pushy), finds you well and possibly excited about this.
I’m looking for a Kiowa history buff. What I am really seeking is something to add to our “Days of Yore” that represents your community. Maybe it’s something simple like an old photo with the cutline or maybe it’s a weekly column. Whatever it is, I really want it!
Our history is what unites us. We are all Barber County. Let’s embrace and share with the next generation.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  September 30, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

We were on our way to Jed and Erin Hill’s wedding when I got a call from my friend Brian Alexander.
He was 5 minutes out of Sawyer, heading towards our ranch with a friend he had met at a grass conference in California earlier this year.
We never made it to the wedding.
“Robert” is from Germany, living in Switzerland and is a chemical engineer who worked at a chocolate factory.
What was so unusual about “Robert” was his height. He measured about 6’8”. To put that in perspective, I’m about 5’7”, Ronda is about 5’ even, I’m guessing Tonia Gerstner is about as tall as Ronda and Brian Alexander is a good 5’10”.
Needless to say, “Robert” stood above the crowd.


“Robert” was shadowing Brian last week (pun intended), learning about soil and grasses in Kansas. While they were out and around the county, we got the opportunity to show “Robert” our little slice of heaven and learn about his interest in farming in America.
We had a large time..... (pun intended).
During the tour some heads turned as people drove by all of us relatively short people, standing next to this bearded giant.
I can’t help but think that all you need to be a good producer is a big weird hat and a crazy beard. It seems to work for Brian and he seems to attract others like him, only taller.
I learned a lot, we sampled local beef and talked about the future of agriculture in our county, country and in “Robert’s” country.
On a side note: Congratulations to Jed and Erin. We are terribly sorry we missed your wedding and hope you had a blessed event!
Have a great big week ya’ll!

KWIBS - From  September 23, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

So I went to the fair last week. I was very proud of myself. For the first time in three years, I spent less than $15,000 at the fair. No joke.
I normally go to the fair for one thing - equipment for the ranch and lake. I wait until the fair rolls around because you can literally save thousands on your purchases.
Well, this year we didn’t need any equipment, so I was reserved to not go to the fair.
My wife had other plans.
Ronda arranged for her and I to go to the fair along with her dad and stepmother. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go with them. I just didn’t want to go to the fair, but I did because I’m an awesome husband and favorite son-in-law (I’m the only son-in-law).
The ladies took us straight from one stop at the beer garden to the infomercial buildings, as I call them. My father-in-law and I roamed from chair to bench, back to chairs again. He begged a few times to go back to the beer garden. I said nothing, but agreed even though a beer was like $9.00 a can and I don’t even like beer.
At least I would get to go look at farm and ranch equipment. I have this weird fetish for tractors, implements and lawn mowers that my wife does not share with me.
Somehow, we wandered through booths of make up, purses, belts and bed sheets and never ended up near a tractor or a lawn mower. My father-in-law used his super powers to get us back to the beer garden before we finally worked our way to the last stop - the grand stand. There we would be cat called to buy everything from more make up to roasted nuts.
I was about to get out unscathed when this Greek guy caught my wife’s attention. This muscular, good-looking dude lured her in with the promise to make her wrinkles disappear. Well, the sales pitch worked and the product works too, but I’m pretty sure it was the accent that cost me $100. At least it was less than $15,000.

KWIBS - From  September 16, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Taxation without representation is the act of being taxed by an authority without the benefit of having elected representatives or a vote. The term became part of an anti-British slogan when the original 13 American colonies aimed to revolt against the British Empire.
Would it seem reasonable or fair that a person from, let’s say Derby, KS, who has ownership of land in Barber County, cannot vote on issues that have a direct impact on what he pays in property taxes?
Would it also seem reasonable or fair that a person from Medicine Lodge who owns no personal property, but rents a house, has a bigger voice on issues that affect the individual I described above?
Would it surprise you that an average house is already costing over $800 a year in personal property taxes in our county, while a small ranch of 1,500 acres pays $6,000 or more?
It’s not new. It happens all of the time. We have interest in some property in Texas that we don’t control the taxes on. In fact, we’ve been taxed far more than we’ve ever earned on the property, but we hope that one day that changes.
In the meantime, we have no say-so on their local issues.
Some say, that’s the cost of ownership. Others see it as taxation without representation. It’s a little bit of both.
Would it be reasonable to say that if the guy above, from Derby, has his taxes raised, say by $2,500 a year, that he would pass that cost on to his renter? You bet he would. How would that affect the small farmer or rancher who is trying to build a herd of cattle? That’s the price of at least a couple of cows or calves. By the way, if you are the renter in the second example I gave, would it be reasonable that your rent will increase?
Fast forward a few years after taxes increase drastically. You know what happens? Property values fall because it becomes a buyer’s market. Land sells to more people from out of county who have no say-so on local issues - Businesses fail - Jobs are lost - People move - Populations decrease even further.
Want an example? Visit our property in the panhandle of Texas. Once a thriving area, is now full of ghost towns and high taxes.
 

KWIBS - From  September 9, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Wednesday, September 11 is called “Patriot Day.”
If you are like me, you remember it as the day that 19 terrorists associated with the Islamic extremist group al-Qaida hijacked four airplanes and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon just outside Washington, D.C., and the fourth plane crashed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. Almost 3,000 people were killed during the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
I was drinking coffee and watching the news when it broke. I thought the first plane was just a horrific accident. Ronda was in the shower and I ran in to tell her as the second plane struck the towers.
We didn’t go to work right away as more news about more hijackings kept coming in. I was 31 years old. Ronda was 32. We remember like it was yesterday.
Two of my friends, Nate and Dale, stepped up to serve their country and volunteered to fight the terrorists on their soil. Thankfully, they both returned home to their families, certainly changed by their experiences, but viewed by me as heroes who stood against terrorism.
So much of the world has changed since then. The way we fly, the way we get our news and the way we view people who are of a different culture. It changed us.
We can not ever forget the deaths of those Americans on that day and the thousands who have died fighting, who were injured and who continue to fight America’s longest war in history.
Take a moment Wednesday morning to remember that on September 11, 2001, at 8:45 a.m. on a clear Tuesday morning we began our day in sorrow as we watched in horror people jumping from windows of our burning Twin Towers of the World Trade Center.
Never forget.

KWIBS - From  September 2, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

The Green New Deal is already turning into the Old Brown Steamer in Georgetown, Texas – population 75,000. It was to be the new poster child of the green movement.
Last October, while the green dream was still in full flower, the city applied for a $1 million grant from former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s nonprofit, Bloomberg Philanthropies, and won it. The grant’s only real requirement was that the city serve as a public relations platform in Bloomberg’s push to convince Americas to abandon affordable fossil fuels and switch to more costly renewable energy.
Georgetown’s electric bills went up as more wind and solar power displaced cheaper natural gas in the power portfolio of the Georgetown’s municipal utility. Politicians scrambled for cover. And the bloom came off Georgetown’s renewable rose.
Now, largely embarrassed members of the City Council are trying to figure out how to unwind the renewable mess they and their predecessors voted themselves into.
With their municipal utility facing a $7 million shortfall – money that has to be made up by the city residents through higher electricity costs – the City Council voted 5-1 in July to instruct the staff to figure out how to wriggle out of the Bloomberg PR deal.
On Aug. 13 the Council voted 5-0 to officially kill the deal. The city is also raising property taxes.
In Georgetown’s case, for it to truly go 100 percent renewable energy using today’s state-of-the-art mass-produced batteries from Tesla’s Gigafactory, the city would need a $400 million battery farm weighing some 20,000 tons to avoid a blackout on a quiet winter night. And, after spending $15,600 for each household to build such a battery farm, its backup power would be drained in 12 hours, with a second windless winter night leaving residents shivering in the dark.

KWIBS - From  August 26, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Agree to disagree I guess.
We got a phone call right after lunch on Tuesday from a lady in Kiowa who wanted to cancel her subscription because we were a “right leaning” newspaper.
My wife was like, “what”?
Ronda asked for examples, but the lady on the phone could only site “some pastor”. Mike Henry will be happy to know he is the reason we lost a subscriber. Kidding Mike!
I grabbed the paper and tried to find other examples of “right leaning” articles. Maybe Roger Ringer every once in a while and sometimes I have a soapbox, but the front had stories like:
* Oldest Cattlemen’s Tour in Kansas
* Kiowa Police Department and City Council agree to take salary cuts to make budget work
* USD# 254 approves 2019-20 budget
* New bleachers for South Barber High School
* Horns move Red Dirt Repair to new location
I didn’t see anything “right leaning” about any of those.
My column was about my daughter getting married; Jason Offutt wrote about having the Summer flu; Days of Yore was about stuff that happened as long as 110 years ago; The Lincoln Library News didn’t make any comments politically; The Leisure Time Center surely didn’t offend anyone; the news of record doesn’t care what party affiliation you are if you’re speeding or breaking the law; there was no mention of whether or not the people that died and were in our obituary section were Democrats or Republicans; Roger Ringer was just Roger Ringer this week and wrote about work ethic and attitude; my daughter’s upcoming wedding didn’t mention anything political (in fact, it was probably the most diversified article we had this week); the article about Jo Johnson wasn’t right leaning or left leaning. It was just about an amazing lady; the South Barber dancers and FFA kids didn’t make any political waves; Kiowa’s schools being recognized with a civic award barely touched on instruction in government, history, law and democracy.
Could that have been it? No, I doubt that could offend the staunchest of Democrats.
Was it the Kiowa Senior Center news or Tim Marshall completing Ag Lending School that set this lady and her son off?
I don’t know, but what I do know is there’s a lot of things on TV and in magazines that I don’t like or don’t agree with. I just skip those channels or articles and move on. I don’t cancel my DirecTV because of the LOGO channel. I don’t stop reading CNN, but I skip their editorial department.
I really thought the divisiveness over politics had skipped over our tight communities, but I suppose I am too naive to think that my neighbors could think differently about politics and I could still like them.
So here’s where I will get political. Drop your subscription. You hadn’t started paying for it yet anyway. Also, let me point out that you are a part of the “tolerant party.” Yet you can’t tolerate one or two articles out of 30-40. Your hatred for Trump, Republicans, Martians, Mike Henry, or whatever trips you, tells me what kind of people you really are.
As long as a person agrees 100% with you, then you can accept them, but disagree and you are the enemy.
I also liked the fact that this woman made the phone call while her adult son was in the background telling her what to say. What a great big man you are sir. Your mom actually sounded very polite when she called. It was the noise in the background that changed her tone when Ronda asked for examples of what you all were offended by.
Notice I didn’t use your name, share your address, telephone number and encourage people in our county to bother you at the store or scream obscenities at you in the street or stand outside your home in protest?
By the way, I am a registered Republican. I was a Democrat for a while and then an Independent and then a Republican again. I have actually considered the Libertarian Party. I think my views line up more with that party than any. Regardless, I have many friends and family members with different views about politics. I still love them. We try to just agree to disagree and get along. I hope you’re reading. If not, that’s ok, maybe someone will read it to you slowly. One last thing: My wife was about to offer you a spot in our paper to express your political views, but you hung up on her before she had the chance...
We don’t consider ourselves a “political publication” of any sort. I would never silence someone’s local opinion as long as it was done in decency and written respectfully.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  August 19, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

In a few days, we will be celebrating the marriage of our Daughter Breeann to her fiance’ Miguel Hernandez.
The announcement came, as no surprise, to us about a month ago.
Most of you in the area know who my daughter is. She’s the one you usually meet first when you walk into our office. A lot of you also know Miguel. Miguel has been a familiar face in Medicine Lodge for many years.
Together they will be a blended family of 7 and we instantly became grandparents to 5 kids ranging in age from 6-13.
I’m not going to lie. It’s been fun watching the chaos. That might sound mean, but it’s not meant to be. These are two loving adults loving a lot of kids at once. It won’t be easy on them, but it will be worth it for the sake of love.
I’m happy for Bree and Miguel and I congratulate them and love them all.
They will be married on Saturday, August 24th with family and friends present. A reception is planned afterwards. My only disappointment is that my son, her brother Nick and his wife Natalie, won’t be able to attend the wedding. They are in Okinawa, between typhoons, and with such short notice, they can’t be in attendance. I’m hoping to facetime them the ceremony as it will be 9 a.m. Sunday their time and 7 p.m. Saturday our time.
One more congratulations goes out to Doris Sorg. She’s been appointed the new director of the Lincoln Library. She’s the perfect choice! Doris was with us for 17.5 years before she left us for greener pastures. Ronda and I are so proud of her and cherish her friendship! Congrats Doris!!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  August 12, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

I hope you’ve all been keeping up on the articles concerning the upcoming Peace Treaty Festival and our attempt to consolidate and brand the event “Peace Treaty” forevermore.
I know it’s been confusing because since I was old enough to remember, Peace Treaty means there’s a pageant. But we all know there are so many aspects to Peace Treaty and that there has always been a “non-pageant” event on the off years (I’m making air quotes for my board’s sake).
Since we’re trying to make this event grow and evolve, our board (who somehow elected me as president) has really gotten excited about this concept. We are rejoining forces with Ranch Rodeo and the Powwow to bring an added value to an already great time. We just want it to be yearly and not every three years that you think of coming home and visiting Medicine Lodge and Barber County.
Some of the changes will barely be recognizable, but others will be and as the articles evolve, you’ll understand the evolution of the festival.
You can’t even begin to understand the magnitude of what we’d like to accomplish. It might be ambitious beyond our time frame, but we are working towards a common goal
There have been some critical comments on Facebook, where everyone with a computer becomes an expert on everything, even if they don’t have the facts. I can tell you that there isn’t a harder working, more caring group of people trying to preserve our heritage. There is no attempt to do any harm and we understand that change is hard. Trust me, no one understands that more than we do.
I remember a sign I saw one time that sort of fits us: “Please excuse our mess as we progress.”
Keep reading and join us September 27-29, 2019.

KWIBS - From  July 29, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

One of my favorite artists and guitarists of all times is Joe Walsh.
I’ve been a fan since I was very, very young. I think one of my very first albums was James Gang Thirds, which featured “Walk Away.”
In my youth, I was a Columbia House Music member. I was big into vinyl and 8-track tapes. These days, it’s just easier to subscribe to a service such as Apple Music to store all of my favorite music; and you can bet, there’s a lot of Joe Walsh by himself, the Eagles and James Gang.
Many Ordinary Average Guys don’t realize that Walsh is a native of Wichita, KS. I had always hoped I would meet him one day. In conversation with Ginger Goering, she mentioned she had met him on an elevator in Wichita years ago. That makes me very jealous!
But Seriously Folks, Joe Walsh is one of the greatest talents of my generation. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1998.
Joe is not a fan of today’s music. We share that in common. The digital age has taken away raw musical talent and replaced it with computers, voice, pitch and tone correction, processed drums and instruments that are near perfectly recorded with little human emotion. I’m still a purest at heart when it comes to music. Give me a live performance any day of the week over a recorded version. Most bands today can’t pull off sounding anywhere near their albums.
In an interview from 2012 Live From Daryl’s House, Joe says, “There’s no mojo, there’s nobody testifying. There’s not the magic of human performance, which is never perfect and the magic of human performance is what we all know and love in the old records.”
Life’s Been Good To Me So Far..... Keep going Joe!

KWIBS - From  July 22, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Monday, July 15, 2019 was a wild and crazy day for me. My first call came shortly after 5 a.m. I had to be in Harper County, Barber County and then Pratt County and back in time to make supper before our Peace Treaty Board meeting.
Ronda’s was no better. She made the mistake of saying, “I’ve got nothing on my schedule today.”
With that statement, I attached our broke down jetski to the back of her Tahoe and sent her to Wichita.
She was freaked out about pulling a trailer and possibly having to back it up. I told her that she only had to turn corners and pull up in front of Marine World and they would do the rest! And they did!
I had laid out some steaks that Mike cut down at White’s. These are just fabulous ribeyes and I really want to compliment how well his meat department does.
It’s easier for us to eat steak now that the kids are all grown and out of the house. We couldn’t afford it when they lived with us. Feeding three teenagers was like, well, feeding teenagers. You get it.
We usually just split a steak anymore. It used to be we would have left overs and make steak tacos the next night.
As we were rushing to eat and make it to our meeting Ronda said, “Oh my gosh. It was one year ago today that Hyde died.”
Hyde was our 15 year old German Shepherd.
It was an incredibly somber moment, as the “left overs” were always diced up into small pieces that I would make him do tricks for. Hyde could stand up, sit down, roll over, run in circles in both directions and catch a ball, frisbee or a piece of food as far as 50’ away. I miss my best friend, but have great memories of his long life with us.
We’ve said we’d never get another pet. There was none like Hyde. He passed peacefully in our arms and is buried in our front yard under a tree by the pond. He died almost one month after our youngest left home again for Okinawa and I’m glad I made him say good-bye to his old friend.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  July 15, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

My grand kids are in the office a lot during the summer.
It’s cute. It’s distracting. It’s sometimes frustrating.
My granddaughter is an abstract artist. She’s constantly making slime out of hand sanitizer and glue, using up all the white out, stealing all of the colored pens and shredding paper, straws or whatever she can cut with scissors.
But it’s cute, because she’s 6 and it’s hard to get mad at a 6-year-old.
Ronda was looking for the pitcher to water the plants in the window the other day and finally found it in the “kids’ conference room.”
It was covered in strapping tape, trash bag ties, popsicle sticks and a smaller vase was trapped inside of it.
It was an interesting piece.


 

Ronda stared at it for a long time. I took a photo and then Ronda spent 30 minutes disassembling it.
“That could have been worth hundreds of dollars,” I said.
Later that day, we found a second pitcher.
As I was taking Baylee’s picture with her latest piece of art, Norm Clouse walked in. He thought it was fabulous!
I offered it to him for $300. He’s thinking about my offer.
Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From  July 8, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

I’m doing a sneak peak of a snippet from Days of Yore that is supposed to be printed next week, but the article caught my attention and I thought I would share it with you. I’ve spoken with local historian John Nixon who could not confirm this information, but also found it interesting.
From The Barber County Index, July 21, 1909:
The Peoples State Bank of this city has on exhibition an old Indian Sharp Carbine rifle. It was found by C. M. Johnson one day last week on what investigation proves to be an old Indian burying ground. The gun protruded out of the embankment which was gradually washed away by the rains and storms of a half century and in the stock of the odd-shaped gun were these notes: “Carried by Geronimo bodyguard. Killed in assault on Medicine Lodge stockade Nov. 21, 1865.” Except for rust and some defects in the wood, the gun is in a fair state of preservation. The barrel is filled with sand and clay which is as impenetrable as the metal itself and, of course, could not be put in working order. The trigger work is rusted out entirely. The note which was found in the stock was in an air-tight metallic box 1 1/2x2 inches and this box was concealed in the stock by means of a metal clasp. It is believed that the finding of this weapon has some connection with the Custer affair that took place here before civilization and an effort is being made to get some reliable data.
The gun will be photographed and the weapon itself is being preserved for historical purposes. The gun is much shorter than rifles of today and works on complexed principles.
Numerous small bones were unearthed in and around where the gun was found and several were large enough to show clearly that an Indian was buried there. The location corresponds exactly to notes made by the first settlers of “The Medicine Lodge Indian Burying Ground.”
A few things that spiked my interest in this story was the note, “Carried by Geronimo bodyguard. Killed in assault on Medicine Lodge stockade Nov. 21, 1865.” The stockade around Medicine Lodge was built after that date, but there could have been a settlement in the area. Another interesting note was that the Peoples State Bank in 1909 is today’s Taco Tico / Simple Simon’s. I was interested in what happened to this gun. According to the Stockade Museum, they don’t have it. So where did it go?
I’m hoping to have something to report back to on this in the near future. I’ve reached out to the Kansas Historical Society for more information, but for now, it’s a mystery. If you have any information on this, please contact me at knoland@gyphillpremiere.com
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From  July 1, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Whether I need it or not, once every 7-10 years I break down and buy a new computer.
Remember, I come from a long line of newspaper people who never thought we’d see the end of linotypes.
This was my week. My friend and best IT guy around, Tim Wortman, got me my new gear and set me up. He knows what I do about as well as I know what I do, so I always trust him to put all my programs and files back on my new computer.
Surprisingly, we only had a few issues, but those issues were major when considering I couldn’t send the newspaper file to the printing plant, couldn’t edit photos and couldn’t see the icons because my screen resolution was set for someone in their early 20s that doesn’t wear bifocals.
With a little patience and some prescription medication for anxiety, Tim was able to get me going again. Now I can either stress about the next 7-10 years of look for a retirement opportunity or stay up to date with technology!
I really hate change. Most of us do. Changing operating systems for me is like learning Russian in a matter of days. You’re going to think I’m a cave man, but we were still running Windows XP. I think Microsoft stopped supporting it a decade ago, but I was going to keep running it until it wouldn’t run anymore and the end was near.
When it takes 45 minutes for your computer to boot up, you know it’s time for a new one.
One thing we are still struggling with is our website updates. We are working on that and should have that issue resolved, maybe by the time this goes to press!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  June 24, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

I can be serious. I can be sarcastic. I can be seriously sarcastic. You get that way in any line of work.
Mondays are usually a day I get sarcastic. It’s usually slap-happiness after an incredibly busy weekend and first part of the week. In my line of work, my easy days are usually Tuesday. That’s a day I often take off to get personal things in order, whether at home or at the ranch. I’m usually not slammed at the office.


Monday is a different story. For years we’ve kept the office closed on Monday. Don’t worry, we’re here working. We just limit the contact with the public and the phones and focus on getting ready for the next week’s news. On top of that, I’m a bondsman and it’s supposed to be the day when my defendants check in and I do reports for the companies I represent for bonding, house arrests and chemical and alcohol monitoring.
Each week I have close to 75-90 people who call and check in with me to let me know they haven’t forgotten about court, have stayed out of trouble and that they know when their next hearing is. Some folks set their phones to remind them. I know this because they call at the exact same time every week. Others forget and after two weeks of no contact, I contact them.

That’s usually not a good thing.

I get all kinds of excuses for being late on checkins. Generally, people have very ill grandparents. You grandparents should take better care of yourselves. People also seem to get very sick right before court sentencing hearings. I have one lady who has been in ICU three times in the last three months. Some are just honest and say they forgot to check in. Those are the ones I usually just say, “Hey, no problem. Try again next
week to be on time.”


I’ve heard it all. Every excuse in the book has been used on me, until last Monday when “JS” to protect his identity texted me late after check in. He writes: “Had a weird past couple of days since my girlfriend and I rescued a kitten from Sonic here in ______, but I am so sorry I forgot to check in with you today.”


I wrote back, “No problem.”


But I also shared it with some of my law enforcement friends and other bondsmen for a good laugh and added some narration, “I bet you guys are still recovering from the stress of rescuing that kitten. The PTS must be awful. I personally can feel the tense situation concerning the rescue. What a scary moment it must have
been when you finally got the kitten away from those .99 cent corn dogs. I’m hearing that EMS and Fire are planning on awarding you a plaque for your great deed. Also the local lumber store is donating a 16’ ladder to you so that anytime a cat gets caught in a tree, you can quickly and safely rescue it! I’m even hearing that the local courts are dropping all felony charges against you and clearing your name. In other news, the local Chinese restaurant just raised the price of their buffet by $1.”


I’m bad. I know it....
 

? ? ? ?
 

Ronda and I were able to slip away Monday afternoon and enjoy our 31st anniversary. Being the romantic that I am, I got on my handy movie app on my iPhone and booked us two tickets to see the new John Wick movie. Seriously, what could be more romantic than watching, by my count 154 people die violently by knife, sword,
books, gun fire, car accidents, motorcycle crashes and explosions!?!?!
Right?


Ronda will never admit she likes this series, but she did it for me because she knows I love it - and she loves me! I did return the favor and took her to her favorite place to eat that evening. :)
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  June 17, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Today is our 31st wedding anniversary. I’m writing this in advance of printing the paper, so I hope we’re out doing something really cool!

If I had to guess, I’m probably working and if the weather is nice, I will probably be mowing the grass later. Ronda will be busy cleaning house and doing laundry because it’s Monday.

The good news is, we are still going strong at 31 years. The grass gets mowed, the house gets cleaned, the laundry gets done and so much more! We’ve been blessed with three children, grandchildren and so many friends.

I recently looked at photos from my son’s wedding and saw how much our family has changed since June 17, 1988. All of the kids have significant others now and the third generationers are stacking up nicely.

Ronda and I were 19 and 18 when we tied the knot. I had only been out of high school for one month. I love you, Ronda. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. There’s nothing I would change about our lives together. We truly are blessed in our lives. Don’t think it’s all been easy, but we’ve managed to overcome many difficult things through our marriage.

Now, thinking about my son and his new wife Natalie, they are 21 and 20 and they will begin their new lives together in just over a week as Natalie and her family, along with Ronda and I, are preparing her to leave for Okinawa to be with Nick through the end of his deployment in December of next year.

They are young and about to see the world rarely like kids their age ever get to do. One of their bucket lists is to go to the Tokyo Olympics in the spring of 2020. Nick has already planned several trips to islands in the area to show Natalie the beauty of the South Pacific.

? ? ? ?

"It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it." This phrase is credited to one of my favorite comedians - Steve Wright.

It’s true though.

Early Wednesday morning at 4 a.m. my son Nick starts messaging me from Okinawa. It was bout 7 p.m. his time.

"Dad! I bought a car!"

He was pretty excited and it only cost him $500. He sent me some photos and I was actually impressed. It’s a standard transmission 5 seat mini-van with captains chairs, only everything is backwards and they drive on the wrong side of the road over there. I don’t think it has power windows, locks, a/c, cruise, a radio or any other modern creature-comforts, but he had a car! Nick had waited two long years to achieve the rank of Petty Officer so he was allowed to get his driver’s license, purchased insurance, registration and a $500 car. Come to find out, these cars sell new for about $1,200. I’m guessing they’re made from crushed aluminum cans, but it beats paying for a taxi every day and when he’s done there, they have like a Craig’s List to advertise these cars for sale and it’s almost always the same kind of boxy car for $500. He claims our Polaris could beat this car in a drag race.

So Nick decided to go driving around base in his new "mom car," as he calls it. "Plenty of room for grandkids," he joked. He stopped and asked several people if they needed a ride. That’s another common courtesy to younger marines and sailors on the island. He dropped off a couple of people and saw two Marines standing out in front of a shopping center.

He tells the story: "So you know how I just got my car? Well, today was the first day that after work I just drove around and was giving people rides so they didn’t have to pay for a taxi or walk, and I kid you not, I pulled up to one of the shoppers and I asked these two guys if they needed a ride. One was like ‘no, we’re good. Thanks man!’ and I looked closer and I’m like.... Sheldon?? And he was like, Nick??" It was Sheldon Hart from Medicine Lodge, son of Becky and Justin Hart!

Sheldon had just finished up on some training in Florida, Georgia and California before he received his orders for Okinawa. I had heard he was going there and reached out to his sister Justine. We thought it would be cool if Nick and Sheldon were to run into each other. It’s not likely given the number of Marines, Airforce and Sailors on the island, but it’s a tiny island. Who would have thought that Sheldon only being there for two days and Nick just getting his first car there would cause this meeting to happen 7,500 miles away from their home?

Sheldon had literally been there for two days and Nick just happened to run into him. Hart was in JRC, which is a processing department transitioning him into how life works on base. They spoke for a few minutes and agreed to get together some time. Nick offered to show him around the island and see some attractions after Hart is able to go off base.

I found this to be one of those, one in a million, encounters. It’s pretty cool that two MLHS grads from our county are serving their country together in Okinawa. I’m not sure how long Sheldon will be there, but Nick has been there for two years and exits in December of 2020. Nick will have the opportunity to show a former classmate around the historical island of Okinawa. I’m proud of all of our local military kids for their sacrifice and my hearts go out to their parents who miss them daily. I’m sure they will be able to see each other from time to time and have some great stories to share with us one day!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From  June 10, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Years ago, many Medicine Lodge residents were up in arms over increasing water rates to support new infrastructure and improvements to existing water lines in our community.

It was not a pretty time in our history and there were hard feelings and hateful things said about those who were trying to make the improvements.

Kiowa is currently well into a project for a treatment facility. It should come as no surprise that these things cost money and is paid for by the users of the water systems.

Recently the city of Anthony announced a rate increase after they discovered they were operating in the red in their water department fund.

It’s only a matter of time before all communities our size will face the inevitable decision to increase rates for one reason or another. As we decline in size, we share the cost with fewer customers. And if we ever want a shot at growth, water is one of the most important factors to consider. Clean water.

I commend the past and present council members, city administrator(s) and mayor of Medicine Lodge who had the foresight to make the difficult decision to upgrade our water system. There were a lot of folks that did not like the changes in the billing structure, but if we had done nothing, we would be in the same position as many of our neighboring communities are soon to be in. I commend Kiowa for thinking about their future water needs as well. As the two largest cities in the county, we have to lead the way.

Progress is not easy. Change is rarely welcomed. If we do nothing, we get nothing in return. Sometimes by making the difficult decisions, we are giving future generations a shot at growth. Maybe it will happen in our lifetimes. Maybe it won’t.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  June 3, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

As you age, injuries become more significant. I could fall down 10 years ago and rub some dirt in the wound and shake it off.

Now, at almost 50, injuries are a gamble. Over Memorial Day weekend, I was working on a spillway and needed some metal pipe. I went down to the shed and grabbed my sawzall and found exactly the pipe I needed (almost, or I wouldn’t have needed the sawzall).

I climbed over a mound of rusty metal and found my pipe. As I was climbing back out, I scraped my leg against a rusty piece of metal. It didn’t hurt, but when I got to the other side, I was pretty bloody and it looked fatal. I still went into the pond and fixed my spillway.

I’ll call it a flesh wound, but my doctor buddy took a look and asked, "When was your last tetanus shot?"

I thought for a minute and answered, "Oh, like 1981."

He didn’t make me get another one. I probably needed a stitch or two, but a few strips of bandages and some rubbing alcohol and I was good as new.

Then we had more storms on Saturday. One of my wife’s glass vases blew over and shattered on the front porch. I was told it was all cleaned up, but my foot discovered a nice sliver of glass that lodged itself into my heal.

That wound resulted in a bloody shoe and a sore foot. Thankfully, both cuts were on the same leg, so if I have to have it amputated, at least I have one good leg left.

None of these wounds would be serious if I were in my 20s and I wasn’t taking blood thinners because I have had heart issues in my recent past.

I can only be thankful that I am aging gracefully and am still well enough to write this column I guess!

 

KWIBS - From  May 27, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

As promised, I have returned this week.

My last couple of weeks were spent on a tractor and road grader trying to repair damage we received after the latest rounds of rain and flooding.

It couldn’t have happened at a worse time. My ranch foreman, Dave, and his wife, Mary, who also works for us, went to Hawaii for two weeks. That left me and my trusted friend Leroy Weber to get things mowed and roads repaired.

It was a long week of hauling rock, digging out culverts, fixing deep washouts and getting the grass mowed. We have about 150 acres of recreation area we maintain.

Friday evening of last week, we had everything done and caught up for Dave’s return on Monday. It was perfect and I felt a real sense of satisfaction until I was driving down my own driveway, fixing the last of things and saw rain hitting the windshield.

Saturday, it poured. Pretty much everything I had fixed, had washed away and more puddles formed. At first, I was really distressed, but then I remembered 4 years ago when the ground was so hard you couldn’t even dig a hole.

Well, those days seem to be behind us and more rain is in the forecast, as I write this.

On Monday, Ronda and I were invited to the Barber County Annex to meet with area FEMA representatives to discuss damages we received.

We’re not a city, but we have 42 homes located in the middle of our ranch on a resort known as Lake Arrowhead. It is our hope that someone in Washington will recognize us as tax paying citizens who could use a little help with funding for repairs to roads and culverts, spillways and dams. It’s a long shot, but one we will pursue. I do know that Barber County is in FEMA’s crosshairs and we should get some relief.

Stay dry my friends!

KWIBS - From  May 13, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

About 4 years ago, my mens’ Bible Study group prayed for months for it to rain and for the drought to end.

I wish someone would pray for my bank account that hard - with as much success!

Up in the north part of the county, we are saturated. I know the entire county has received a good amount of rain, so you can relate..

It affects us in a unique way. When we receive too much rain in a short amount of time, we become "hydrologically inadequate" when it comes to moving water. With the current spring rains, higher water table and complete saturation, we have a lot of water with nowhere for it to go.

It seemed we got rain every day last week. So much at one point, that we went over our emergency spillways at Lake Arrowhead. Whenever this happens, we turn to our EAP (Emergency Action Plan). It’s sort of silly, but the Kansas Water Office requires we have one, so when the water comes rushing over, I make one call to the sheriff’s office or to Rick Wesley to let him know basically, "here it comes!"

And within a couple of hours, the East side of Medicine Lodge including all of the city park was underwater.

Rick came out and watched Elm Creek rise at Resort Road. That night, I went out and measured 22" of water that had made a new river across our main entrance to the lake. Several folks couldn’t get home on Tuesday night. Several more couldn’t get out, but eventually, we started to drain off. My phone rang several times that night with concerned folks who had heard that our dam burst. That simply was nowhere near true. Our dam is good and strong and will outlive everyone reading this.

Wednesday morning, I went out and surveyed the damage. We have some road issues that I’ll work on over the weekend, provided it stays dry long enough for me to run a road grader. The funniest thing was seeing about 40, 15-30 lb grass carp nearly 1/4 mile away from the lake, flopping around in the middle of the road! Truly a fish out of water experience. I even found one crappie still alive.

Ronda and I went down to meet folks in Kiowa last week. We enjoyed running into people who we have known for years and meeting a few new folks for the first time.

I will say this about Kiowa. You guys have a lot of community and school pride. We have been overwhelmed with calls of encouragement and support in covering your town.

We’ll be trying hard over the next few weeks at making new connections and getting all your news and advertising in the paper. Many of you have already reached out to us and we appreciate it. We are short staffed, overworked, underpaid, but SUPER EXCITED to be a part of covering you.

I’m still going to bug Rex Zimmerman about telling his story to all of our readers. He has been so helpful the past week in getting us information to help us build the paper.

We want your news! Send us everything you can to news@gyphillpremiere.com !

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From  May 6, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

It seems weird to me, but I have to use my column this week to introduce myself and my wife to some who might not know us.

As you can see by our reboot and reformat this week, we and The Kiowa News have come together to make one paper. It’s sort of strange how quickly it all happened, but it was. Rex and Diann were ready to retire.

Rex Zimmerman and I have known each other for many years. We share a long history of newspaper in our blood. He started in the St. John area in his teens in the 1970s, maybe earlier, but I don’t want to embarrass him. I worked as a third generation pressman and newspaper man in Medicine Lodge since the early 1980s. Rex and I have always respected each other’s areas and not stepped on each other’s toes; to the point where we even shared the yearly appointment of official county paper with no disputes or hard feelings. We and our families have felt an obligation to our county to bring the news to the citizens. I’ve written stories for them and they’ve written stories for us. I have always had good feelings about Rex and his wife Diann. They devoted 40 years to the Kiowa area and South Barber. When I say "devoted", you can’t understand this commitment unless you’ve experienced 52 deadlines a year for decades. We’ve both had that dedication and feeling of responsibility to our respected communities for most of our lives.

So when we began talking about a merger-acquisition, I was at first hesitant, but interested. Ronda and I are still in the business for the long haul. Rex and Diann were ready to retire. It was a good fit. We just didn’t have a good game plan in place and I was hoping for a few months to get one. As you’ve read, that didn’t’ transpire, but we were able to start the process last week.

My biggest concern was giving Kiowa and the readers in our county the same service as Rex did. Ronda and I have quite a few strange commitments going on in our lives. Not only are we newspaper owners, but we have a ranch we take care of north of Medicine Lodge (with a lake resort, I might add); we are grandparents; we still handle some operations for an internet company; I’m a bail bondsman and enforcement agent; I do house arrest and monitoring for a company from Wichita and we are both deeply involved and love The Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty Association as well as Barber County Development.

So, ya, we’re a little invested in the county, to say the least.

I have many friends in South Barber (I hate that term). I believe we are one county and we share the common struggle of surviving in rural America. We are unique in the respect that we adapt and change when that need arises. We have to. "North and South" sounds so territorial.

As I said, we want to serve the Kiowa and South Barber area with the same passion as the Zimmermans. We can tell you that we can only do this with the cooperation of those who live in our communities. It was common practice 20 years ago for folks to submit articles and news to the area papers. These days, people like instant gratification of social media and often forget the importance of community journalism and keeping a record of events. A perfect example and proof that newspapers are still a viable industry is to, "Look at Facebook and tell me what happened 75 years ago."

Newspapers are a way to preserve the history of our community in a "hard copy" form of media. We’re in your schools and libraries, at your city, and county meetings. We’re a part of your anniversaries, birthdays and even deaths of your friends and family. Facebook may be instant, but we’re in it for the long haul.

Ronda and I need your help. We’ll print just about any news item you send us. We want to. We aren’t psychic and we can’t be everywhere at once, so that’s where you come in and help us report your news. We love to know what’s happening in our communities. I actually read about 20 newspapers a week around our area. I enjoy seeing how we stack up against other communities. We’re doing well, by the way. Even though we are experiencing a slow down in our economics, I believe the future is bright. It can be brighter with your help. Over the coming weeks, we’ll be wanting to include more of your news, photos and advertising into The Gyp Hill Premiere.

Ronda and I look further than just retail business support and subscribers. We understand the delicate balance of agriculture and the natural resources we rely upon in Barber County with our oil industry. If you’ve been around long enough, you’re probably like us, this is our third or fourth oil recession we’ve experienced. Things are looking better, but these booms come and go and we can only hope to take temporary advantage. The most important thing is that we don’t lose hope or vision.

I will say something controversial about Barber County: I don’t believe in the north and south division. I’ve always had dear friends from all over the county: north, south, east or west. And I’ve always been envious of the community pride that Kiowa has shown over the years. It really is time to erase that line and become a united county. Many of us have already done that.

We are overwhelmed with Kiowa’s response to us coming in. I can’t tell you how excited and scared we are, all at the same time. You all deserve a good newspaper. We can do that, with your support, so please contact us with your news and thank you to all who have already.

If you are new to our paper, you’ll see some things you haven’t seen before. Some things that the Zimmermans did, are only what they could do because of their long commitment to your community. I know there are more like them out there. We just have to connect with them. We have some obvious differences that I hope you’ll find valuable like our features, comics, puzzles and columnists.

This week has been the hardest and longest week of our lives. This transition will take months of fine tuning and building relationships with you, but I know it will be worth it, so bear with us as we work out the kinks. There will be many. Call us or email us anytime. Everything you need to know about Ronda and I and The Gyp Hill Premiere are available at www.gyphillpremiere.com.

This is a positive move forward in our communities. Thank you Rex and Diann for being so gracious and entrusting us to carry the torch forward. We wish you a fantastic retirement and we thank you for your selfless commitment to our county. We hope to share the Zimmerman’s story with you very soon.

Have a great week! We look forward to working with you.

 

KWIBS - From  April 29, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

This is a tough week for our family. We’ve been celebrating since late March, when Nick finally came back stateside and married Natalie.

This week, we said our good-byes. Friday, Nick began his long journey back to Okinawa. He will be there only a few days before he is deployed on two different operations in the Asian theater. By the first of June, he should be settled back in at his new job at 1st Marine Aircraft Wing Group 36. It’s a ton more responsibility and I believe he’s up to the challenge. Nick has worked very hard on training other RPs on protecting their Chaplains in combat situations. His procedures will be incorporated into future A-Schooling for all Religious Program Specialists.

His new bride should arrive in Okinawa sometime in June, provided all the paperwork is done.

We might be seeing Natalie in the Spring of 2020 for her sister’s graduation, but we may not see Nick again until December 2020 when his deployment ends.

It has been wonderful having him home. These past few weeks have been a flood of emotions for our family. We’ve done some really fun things as a family that we won’t get to experience again for almost two years. That’s a bitter pill to swallow, but I stand as a proud parent of a fine young man who is serving our country and making a huge sacrifice by being so far away from home.

We don’t yet know exactly what Nick and Natalie’s future plans will be. Nick says that he is out at the end of his contract, but then ponders another 4 years - and then changes his mind again. It’s ok with us, whatever his decision will be. He’s already proven to us that he is capable of handling whatever life throws at him and he’ll either breeze through the rest of his deployment and then college, or he’ll re-up and serve stateside for another 4 years and then get out of the military. Either option is just fine with us. One thing is for certain - he will be back in the United States at the end of next year.

All I want is for him and his new wife to be happy, healthy and safe as they make their way around the world together.

One exciting thing they plan to do is attend the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo!

While Nick was home, we took a lot of photos. We haven’t even seen the wedding photos yet!

This photo was my favorite of Nick and Natalie. It was taken by Natalie’s maid of honor outside of The Gyp Hills Guest Ranch during the night of rehearsal.

Nick didn’t want to wear his uniform while on leave, but I begged him to wear it for photos with Natalie. He thinks I take way too many pictures, and I probably do, but it’s these moments that bring fond memories to mind and tears to my eyes.

We’re so excited to have Natalie as a part of our family. She’s the first new Noland since 1998! (Nick was the most current Noland before that!)

We love you Nick and Nat!

Have a great week.

 

KWIBS - From  April 22, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

It’s like someone let the wind out of my sails; more like the air out of my tires.

After 50 years Slinkard Oil is history. Bill made the announcement nearly a month ago, signs went up to sell his building and he eventually got a contract pending.

I’m dating myself here, but I used to sneak down the alleys on my mini-bike behind our house on A-Way to go buy gas from Bill. He would pump it or Bob Smith would. It usually cost me about 30 cents to fill up my 1/2 gallon gas tank on my Honda 50. Occasionally, it cost me a stern speech from Chief Monte Rickard, when he could catch me.

Over the years, Bill stopped pumping gas, but kept the business going. We used him to service Ronda’s car and grandma’s car since we could start driving. He fixed half a million flats for me.

Bill was so detail oriented when it came to servicing a vehicle and he wasn’t shy about telling you to take it somewhere else if he wasn’t qualified to fix it.

I remember hanging out on his lot as a kid. We were safe there and there was one of the last pay phones in town if we needed to call home.

I’ll miss watching him put a fresh coat of paint on that place before it ever needed it.

I’ll also miss the free air. I could always count on that compressor to be on 24-7, 365 days a year.

Mostly, I’ll miss his friendly smile behind his old-school desk at his classic gas station. I wish you the best, Bill, in your well deserved retirement.

? ? ? ?

Congratulations to Mr. and Mrs Nicholas Noland! We welcomed Natalie to our family, officially, on Saturday, April 13, 2019. Nick goes back to Okinawa later this week for about 2 more years. It will be sad to see him go, but I know he will soon be joined by his new bride.

 

KWIBS - From  April 15, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

For the past 4 years, just one year before the Anderson Creek Fire, I started going on some controlled burns with some friends. I was trying to learn the importance of prescribed burning.

This year, Ronda and I joined the Gyp Hills Prescribed Burn Association. I knew most of the members and had burned and learned from many of them. It seemed only right to offer my help and resources. Those resources were less than outstanding. I have two UTVs with 50 gallon sprayers, one old F350 with a 350 gallon tank and pump and one drip torch.

My first official burn with the association was on the Cook Ranch north of Hardtner two weeks ago. We started at around 11 a.m. and the 360+ acres were contained by 1:30 p.m. It was a great burn. Everyone went home full and bored. I only used 10 gallons of water all day.

I have limited knowledge on this topic, so forgive me if I speak out of turn, but if you use just a little water and things go good, that’s a good burn. Someone did their preparation work.

We set a pin on the date of Monday, April 8, 2019 to burn just under 600 acres on our ranch. Wind direction was not critical because we had professional management help us with a burn plan that covered any direction (that’s another benefit of belonging to this amazing organization). Ideally, we needed a north or west wind. God provided us a mostly west and north west wind for the day.

That’s not all He provided.

My phone and email started blowing up with people I didn’t even really know, offering to help. We welcomed it all. Our burn was unique. They all are in their own way. We had two priorities. Firstly - regain grassland and replenish. Unlike most ranches though, our ranch has a resort with 42 homes in the middle of it. That created a safety challenge and extra help was necessary to contain and fires that broke out of our fire lines. And they did.

I hadn’t slept in about 24 hours by burn day. We had a lot of last minute preparations removing cedar trees from the fire line and the thought of lighting this fire kept me awake for several nights. Cedars are like nature’s Roman Candles. When they go up, they throw fire and create little tornadoes that can set off fires thousands of yards away from the controlled burn. It was our intention to keep our residents safe and our neighbors safe.

I was up early the morning of the burn. I went down and put coolers of water, dish soap for water tanks, torch fuel, maps and burn plans. I got a text around 9:30 a.m. that a caravan of people were heading our way. I had no idea.....

At about 9:50 a.m. there were more than 50 people, 20 water trucks, a 6x6 forestry truck, 9,000+ gallons of tank water, 11 UTVs, a forestry fire expert, our county emergency management director, and neighbors and friends with more than 1,000 combined years of burning experience; all staged at our dam at Lake Arrowhead. I actually had to slip out and regain my composure. I was overwhelmed with everyone who came.

Their pay for the day: A successful burn, no injuries, full bellies and some boredom and seeing half the ranch go up in smoke. By 2:30 p.m., we had released several people. Some stayed a few more hours; a couple of us stayed all night and throughout the next day and a half.

I can’t name everyone to thank, but I will hit some highlights. Flint Rucker, his sister Jodi and son Cory came to help. Mark Dugan, Flint and I, did the preparation work. Brian Alexander was my burn boss. Robert Larson was my team leader with David Colborn, Jeff Clarke and Pat Bedwell on our back fire team. Jess Crockford (prescribed burn expert) was there lighting things up. Keith and Eva Yearout from Z-Bar brought a giant fire truck and Eva must have walked 8 miles with a drip torch that day. Ted Alexander came with radio communication and his wisdom; of course his son Brian Alexander and I have been friends for quite a while and he is teaching us more about ranching than our minds can contain. The local NCRS and Cheryl and Wyatt at the office hooked us up with some storage tanks and pumps, several of our residents at Lake Arrowhead volunteered to help.

My wife did some walking along with a drip torch. She was tired and fried at the end of the day, but we were more than happy with the results.

The people of GHPBA are amazing and I can’t thank them enough. Tom Carr is the president of this great association and provided organization and his personal assistance on the day of the burn.

The most important thing I learned that day was that we have to take care of this land. There is an invasion of cedars and grasses that put us in danger and reduce our profitability in raising food to feed the world.

Ronda and I are excited to be a part of this group and we look forward to helping our neighbors, just like they have helped us.

Next week, we will have an article that Jess Crockford is writing to help educate the area on the importance of controlled and prescribed burning. Have a great week!

KWIBS - From  April 8, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

He’s home and he’s marrying the girl this weekend!

Nick arrived safely on Saturday, March 30th in Wichita after about 30 hours of traveling from Okinawa.

The girl, Natalie Bare, from Pratt, KS is already a part of the family. They’ve dated for three years and kept a two year engagement. Saturday, April 13th, 2019 is the big day and we couldn’t be prouder and happier for them.

I want to share some wisdom and advice for a successful marriage.

Nick, your big day is upon us all. You have chosen wisely. Natalie is smart and beautiful and comes from a great family. You are blessed to have found such a person. I’m blessed in the same way and I’m so excited at the path you’re on.

Treat her well. Always open the door for her. Treat her like the queen that she is. Keep the romance alive.

May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

Remember - it won’t always be easy, but it will always be worth it. Never let the sun go down while angry with each other. Forgive quickly. Tuck her in bed every night you can. Hug, kiss, hold hands and grow old together as friends.

I’m proud of the man you have become. Your time in the Navy has changed you in a good way. I see how mature you have become. Stay the course.

A few scriptures I would share with you:

Ephesians 4:2-3: "With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Ecclesiastes 4:9: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?"

God bless you and your new wife. I love you.

 

KWIBS - From  April 1, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a stress zit.

Now raise your hand if you’re a liar because you didn’t raise your hand the first time.

I’ve been a little stressed lately. If you ask my wife, she’d probably say more than a little.

I woke up on Wednesday morning and I had this giant zit on my neck. I’m sure it was from stress, being filthy dirty for the better part of a week working on equipment, and my stellar healthy living. For about 6 weeks, I’ve been out mowing fence lines and helping burn pastures.

Spring means, it’s time to get things done at the ranch before the busy lake season starts.

I had forgotten about the zit until I went for a hair cut. My stylist was like, "Oh my God. You have like a third nipple, only on your neck!"

A third nipple. That always fascinated me. Supernumerary nipples, in the case of multiple nipples is a condition in which you have one or more extra nipples on your body.

I actually have three friends with third nipples. How ironic is that? I won’t name them, but I always wondered what that would be like. Apparently, I now know.

I’m just glad it’s temporary. At least I hope it is. I have this wedding thing coming up and I don’t want to have to turn my head for pictures.

So my stylist had fun with it. She actually tried to squeeze it, but it only made it bigger and sore.

"Oh! Here’s another one," she exclaimed!

It was like she’d found a diamond mine.

It was a weird experience that turned into her straightening my hair at 360 degrees with some flat iron contraption.

I don’t even know why this column is happening, but happy April Fools! You know I am one....

 

KWIBS - From March 25, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

A normal pregnancy usually lasts about 40 weeks, counting from the first day of a woman's last menstrual period, which is about two weeks before conception actually occurs. Pregnancy is divided into three trimesters. Each of these periods lasts between 12 and 13 weeks.

Aren’t you glad to know that?

So it takes about 9 months to get your baby.

In our situation, it’s taking about 10 months.

The baby of the family, Nicholas Noland, RP3, USN, will make his voyage home from Okinawa starting Thursday and arriving Saturday morning to a host of family, friends and most importantly, his anxious bride-to-be, Natalie Bare.

This is the longest we’ve gone without seeing him. His recent promotion has also complicated our communication, so we can’t begin to explain how excited we are to have him home and to be a part of their wedding on April 13, 2019. It will be his longest visit home - nearly 30 days of leave.

In the middle of him coming home, we’re working feverishly to prepare to burn about 700 acres of pasture and prepare for our resort season. I apologize for not getting back with several people last week. It took me about three days to catch up on emails.

As I do enjoy being outdoors and out of the office, I find myself in a panic when I’ve been gone for three days. Things begin to pile up on my desk and the second I walk in the door, the sticky notes begin to get removed one by one as I catch up.

If I missed you last week, try me again. If it’s an emergency, you are always welcome to call my cell at 620-886-0630. The rest of March and most of April will be super hectic for Ronda and I and the entire family as we welcome home our son and prepare for an awesome wedding!

Have a great week!!

 

KWIBS - From March 18, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Last week, we rushed around to finish up our mock up of the paper so that I could leave town early for some mandatory continuing education classes for my bail bond and enforcement business. Keep in mind, this legislation was passed back in 2016 by a small group of big-city bonding companies after, what I feel, was a failed attempt at convincing people like me to join their association.

The sales pitch was, "You should join, so that you’ll be kept up on legislation in our industry."

The cost to join at that time was $500. I did not see the value in it, but soon learned of legislation that affected my industry. The Kansas Bail Agent Association lobbied our Kansas legislatures to pass HB 2056.

In May of 2016, Governor Brownback signed HB 2056 into law; laying the groundwork for Continuing Education requirements for Kansas Bail Agents and Kansas Bail Enforcement Agents. A double-sided bill, one side of HB 2056 explains the new regulations and requirements for all Kansas Bail Agents in regards to Continuing Education requirements for both Surety and Property Bonding Agents. I dread it each year.

The catch: Only the Kansas Bail Agent Association could teach the class at a cost of $250 a year per person; half of the original membership I was quoted. Nice play KSBAA.

Imagine being a painter and being approached by an association claiming to represent you and your industry and then telling you that joining will help you fight against legislation that affects your business, but you refuse to join and then suddenly, you can’t paint anymore unless you take a class on how to do it. Imagine you’ve done it for almost 15 years. Do you think that you should be forced to pay for a class?

Well, if you’re like me, our state representatives don’t think too much about passing bills and how they will affect those who fall under the law. For me, the closest class each year is Park City or Hays. I have to take off on a Thursday, get a hotel room, drive up and sit through about 8 hours of watching paint dry. This was intended on being a pun about the painter association doing something like that.

I belong to several organizations of my own free will. Kansas Press Association is one of those groups. Can you imagine if they lobbied to make a law that I could not publish a newspaper without continuing education classes first?

For the past three years, I’ve grudgingly, missed work, tossed them a check, sat through these boring classes, grumbled through the speakers that have nothing to do with my work, stood in line and received a worthless piece of paper that says I was there.

Topeka is full of BS like this and lobbyist have too much power to force issues just like this.

The same Attorney and special prosecutor who took 6 months to attempt to charge our former Sheriff with domestic battery (that could never be proven because the spouse/victim and witnesses said it never happened) was the morning speaker. Remember, that cost Barber County tens of thousands of dollars and man-time to investigate and in my opinion, was a political hack job.

He used much of his time advertising his services to his "captive" audience at a reduced rate if we only, "paid a little more for a full blown membership."

Officers of the KSBAA used their time to also encourage us to join, using the same sales pitch - that if we aren’t involved, more legislation could come down the pipe affecting us. Maybe true...

The very definition of a crime I have bonded people out of jail from reads: Extortion - the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats.

The force: take the class and pay $250. It’s mandatory. The threat: if you don’t, you can’t practice your trade anymore, no matter how long or how well you’ve done it.

Most of the afternoon session with judges present from Sedgwick County’s court system had nothing to do with how the 30th district handles bonds that I work. So I was forced to sit through almost two hours of complaints from local bondsmen about how poorly the Sedgwick County Jail operates. I really don’t care. I was there to be "taught" something useful to my business.

Now, I do see value in these classes for new agents entering the bonding business. We were handed booklets at the beginning of the day that were basically the same that we’ve received three years in a row (sponsored by the Attorney who wants us to join and use his services at 1/2 the rate), with the legislation on why we have to take this class. I can read. I don’t need it read to me for $250.

I’m frustrated with Topeka on many levels. I spoke with Representative Hoffman about this issue many times with no resolution. He either sees value in the classes or simply doesn’t care. I even invited him to take the class last year. He didn’t. I sent him a short video of the attorney giving away drink coozies and T-Shirts like it was a rock concert. How does that educate me to be a better bondsman?

At this point, I would rather just join the association for $200 a year and do away with the training since my total expenses for the classes were over $600, plus what I lost in a days worth of work at my real job, but that’s not an option.

On the bright side, there was a break out session on Kansas Gun Laws that was given by a gentleman who I have known for a couple of years. The irony was, I ran into him at a gun show last year and told him he would actually be an "interesting" speaker at a continuing education class. Low and behold, he was the only speaker that I had any interest in, but still, since I already use his product and training, I had no real benefit of hearing it again.

Topeka should get back to fixing our state’s problems and stay out of our businesses. There is absolutely no evidence that I benefited from this class, taken three times now, except that I am helping fund a lobbyist to look after "my industry’s interests."

It’s not all bad. I understand we need a voice in Topeka, but convince me of that and earn my membership. Don’t force it upon me and my industry. My time is valuable and I don’t like it wasted.

Are you listening Topeka?

Have a great week.

 

KWIBS - From March 11, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

After two weeks of firing my .45 pistol, a KISS concert in OKC and a Metallica concert Monday, my ears have had it.

For the first time in my life, I had to wear ear plugs to go listen to music.

Monday we drove to Wichita to see the metal band that started it all: Metallica. They aren’t exactly what I put in my playlist, but the concert was significant because it marked 34 years of a shared love for concerts and music that Ronda and I have together.

Our first out of town date was in mid-December 1985 when I took her to see Ozzy Ozborne with a brand new opening act called "Metallica". Little did we know then that we were seeing history in the making. They were weird, loud and in our opinion, terrible. The entire Kansas Colosseum agreed and they got a "boo" from the crowd.

A Rolling Stone article reflected their experience. Lead singer James Hetfield said he’d never perform there again. For their 25th anniversary tour, they decided to come back to Wichita to kick off the tour to a different tune. Their strange speed-thrash metal caught on and they became the staple of the metal music industry and on January 14, 2009, it was announced that Metallica would be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

There’s about a dozen Metallica songs I really like and about 100 I really hate, but for us, it’s about production and entertainment. Everyone has their thing. Ours is music. I can listen to just about everything except modern country and rap music. Some people don’t see the talent in playing the type of music that Metallica plays, but they have a unique talent for authentic speed with music.

I reached out to a friend on Valentine’s Day of last year and using my Jedi mind control, convinced her to let me prepurchase 4 front row tickets. The tickets went on sale to the general public the next day and sold out Intrust Bank Arena, making it the largest event in the arena’s history. Metallica’s Monday-night crowd of 15,690 was the biggest the downtown arena has seen in its nine year-history, and it busted the previous record held by country legend George Strait, who drew 14,680 fans in 2014.

The arena was somewhat prepared for the crowd, the city’s parking was not. We took some friends with us, ate a quick dinner and then spent the next 45 minutes trying to find parking. We ended up parking under the 54/400 overpass off of Emporia, three blocks away. I’m not even sure if we were legally parked, but we didn’t get towed away!

This concert was loud in a way I can’t describe, but my sound techy friend "Steve" met up with us to explain it all. Steve is a great sound man who works a lot of venues in and around Wichita. He is also owns the sound company that Peace Treaty uses.

Steve explained, "Metallica owns subs (woofers) that were designed by the military as sonic weapons. They used the subs for a total of three minutes off and on because the sound waves can actually cause people to become ill and disoriented."

He added, "This sound set up was such a harmful frequency that they use a cancelling system that changes the frequency of the bass on stage and cancels out that signal so the bass player (who complained his feet would go numb) and most in the audience don’t become ill because of the low frequency."

There was so much science and technology that went into this concert, but all I can say is, it was loud. VERY LOUD!

A little heavy metal does me some good, now and then!

 

Remembering my friend Michael Walker

Back in late 2004 and early 2005, we were introduced to a band named Aranda, made up of brothers Dameon and Gabe Aranda, Chad Roper and Michael Walker. Mike was a music instructor in Oklahoma City and one of the neatest guys we’ve ever met. Over the next 15 years, we would go to more than a 100 shows in 4 states and we’ve become great friends with everyone that has come in and out of Aranda’s band over those years.

Tragically, Monday morning, March 4th, Mike and his wife Rachael were both murdered in the early morning hours at their home in Edmond, OK.

If this wasn’t sad enough, the crime was committed by their eldest son "Eli". Eli, 19, had a long history of mental illness and was having a difficult time in his life. Whatever drove him to kill his parents is something I will never understand and it will haunt me forever.

Please pray for the Walker’s children during these difficult days.

This group of people are near and dear to us. When not touring across the country, you would find members of Aranda at LifeChurch in the Oklahoma City metro area doing worship services.

These guys are the real deal and they are all hurting over the tragic loss of their drummer and friend. Here’s a photo of me and Mike in Austin, TX in 2013.

Mike was a great man. He was an amazingly talented musician and teacher. He was soft spoken - but hilarious at just the right moment. He was sensitive to those around him. He was gracious in nature. He had rhythm and soul to his core. He was blessed with countless friends, fans and family and he knew God's mercy.

He could be sweaty at times, but worth hugging after a show! We are trusting God to heal many hearts in the days, weeks, months and years to come without Michael Walker and wife Rachael.

 

Heaven gained the greatest percussionist ever.

 

KWIBS - From March 4, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

You know how deep a friendship runs when your buddy and his wife will hop on different planes from cities in California, meet up in Las Vegas and fly into Oklahoma City to spend less than 24 hours with you and your wife for a KISS concert.

Nix and Wendy made the trip our direction on Tuesday. Ronda and I drove down and we picked them up at the airport and then stopped by to say hi to a couple of classmates from the MLHS Class of 1988 that live in OKC.

Jim Tedrow and Tina (Littlechild) King both work north of Will Roger’s Airport and when they heard we would be passing through they started blowing up my cell phone.

In fact, they called so many times that it interrupted our GPS directions and we missed our exit. Thanks Tina and Jim!

After a quick visit, we hit the hotel, which was completely not prepared for the crowd of people who came to see KISS on their "end of the road" tour.

I had gone and seen KISS with Nix a couple of years ago and got to meet the band and see the behind the scenes action. I begged Ronda to come this time and she said, "Yes, as long as Wendy is going." Well, Wendy came!

Ronda and I are not really big KISS fans, but we are huge Nix and Wendy fans, so when Nix begins a conversation with, "What are you guys doing.....?" We usually perk up to see what he has in mind.

It was a blast and here’s our latest fun photo!

 

This marked 4 adventures in 10 calendar months that we’ve seen them and we always have a great laugh or two!

And Happy Birthday Mom!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 25, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

When my kids each turned 21, we celebrated with a cold one.

I remember when Joey turned 21. We drove all the way to Hays so we could have a beer together. It’s like a right of passage and an entrance to true adulthood. It’s second in importance only to hitting retirement age.

Today is my youngest’s 21st birthday. We won’t be celebrating with a beer because he’s 7,500 miles away on a tiny island and a Marine base south of Japan.

Over there, he’s been able to buy himself a drink since he was 20, so this is really no big deal to him, but it’s important to me. It’s that whole, "now son, do these things in life and not these things," kind of moment.

So, I’m a little sad that today (yesterday for him) we won’t be having that special bonding experience.

The good news is, he’ll be home in 34 days and on leave for 29 days. During that time, he’ll be busy preparing for his marriage to Ms. Natalie Bare of Pratt!

It’s been 10 long months since we last saw him. Actually, the longest we’ve gone without seeing our son. For Natalie, it’s only been a couple of months. She got to go to Okinawa over Christmas and New Years to visit Nick.

And speaking of birthdays, and Ms. Natalie, her birthday is Thursday, February 28th. She’ll be the big 2-0! Happy birthday Natalie!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 18, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

I found this article interesting on many levels:

Marijuana smokers find tiger in vacant Houston home

Police said a group of people broke into an abandoned Houston home to smoke marijuana and quickly discovered they weren't alone -- there was a tiger in the house.

The Houston Police Department said the people called the 311 non-emergency line Monday when they broke into the southeast Houston home, which was believed to be unoccupied, and discovered a tiger in a cage.

A BARC Animal Shelter crew responded to the home with the Houston police's Major Offender Animal Cruelty Unit and tranquilized the tiger, nicknamed "Tyson" by rescuers after the famous scene in The Hangover featuring boxer Mike Tyson's tiger.

Police said the tiger, which appeared well fed and in good health, is being taken to an undisclosed animal sanctuary.

Investigators said it is legal to own a tiger in Texas with the proper wildlife permits, but it is not legal to keep such an animal in the city of Houston.

What the article didn’t clarify is, what happened to the mariuanna smokers? They broke into a house to smoke marijuanna and the only mention of a crime was having a tiger in the city limits?

Can you imagine that buzz kill and conversation? I think it would go like this.

"Hey, let’s smoke some pot and laugh and eat Cheez-its."

"Dude, is that a tiger?"

"No man, we have to be trippin’."

"Seriously man, that’s a tiger."

"Should we call 911?"

"I don’t know the number man."

"Well, we could call 411 and get the number."

"How about we just dial 311 and report it as a ‘non-emergency’ and finish smoking."

"You’re so brilliant. Let’s do that."

"Hey, hand me that box of Cheez-its."

"Sorry, I fed them to the tiger dude."

"Dang...."

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From February 11, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Valentine’s Day is coming in a few days and I wanted to share with you a love story.

Sounds so mushy. You might be thinking, "oh Lord, coming from Kevin this could be worse than "50 Shades of Gray."

Don’t worry, this is Rated G and family friendly.

In the late 1970s and early 1980s, I worked for several people around town. Luke Chapin was one of my employers. I did a lot of mowing for him at the motel and at his lake home north of Medicine Lodge.

My favorite time working for him was out at Lake Arrowhead. He had a pretty snazzy Snapper lawn mower and I felt pretty important when mowing out there. When I’d finish mowing, he’d let me wax his boat. That sounds awful, but it meant I could jump in the lake and I got to spend a lot of time riding his three wheeler all over creation.

On one such adventure, I saw a cute little redhead riding on a Honda trail bike. I smiled and waved, she waved back. Several summers went by and I would see her.

One summer I was riding Luke’s three wheeler back on the ranch and a big red Thunderbird came screaming up behind me with the horn honking. I stopped and this lady jumped out and proceeded to give me the butt chewing of a lifetime. I did not realize at that time that she would one day become my grandmother-in-law.

Late in 1985, a beautiful girl moved to town. She was a grade ahead of me in school, but I was smitten when I saw her. I had no clue that she was the little redheaded girl that I waved at several summers as a kid.

One day the entire school had an assembly. It was sponsored by the Cosmosphere and was all about NASA. We all gathered in the gym and sat on the floor. This beautiful new girl sat right beside me and we started talking. I wasted no time in asking her if she’d like to hang out. She said yes. A few weeks later she asked me to the Christmas dance and I said yes!

Then there were more dates, meeting the parents, proms and this week, I count 34 times that she’s been my Valentine.

This love story has so many chapters and so many adventures, they are almost unbelievable at times.

Through good times and difficult times, the love of my life has stood by my side. She has comforted and cared for me; given me three beautiful children, was with me as we started businesses together; we work side by side every day and seldom do we get angry with each other. She’s patient and kind - everything that is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. She gets more beautiful as she grows older and accepts that I get balder and fatter with every year. She is strong, honest and is the best help mate that God could have ever provided me. I can type this column and it could take up the entire newspaper to tell you all of our adventures. We’ve traveled all over, have hundreds of friends. We love the same music, movies.

Finally, we make each other laugh, even when we need to cry. In my mind, there has never been a better love story than ours.

That beautiful redheaded girl is my soul mate. I say that I don’t deserve her and I can’t figure out what she saw in me that day that she said "yes". I love her and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Proverbs 30:18-19: "There are three things that amaze me—no, four things that I don't understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman."

Happy Valentine’s Day Ronda. I love you and thank God for you every day.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 4, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Forget about it!

That’s so easy for me. You see, I’m an amazing multitasking human being, as long as I do one thing at a time, in order.

I operate off of two things: A piece of paper clipped to my Farm Bureau desk calendar and my cell phone’s appointment calendar. If it’s not on either of those, I might have emailed myself to remind myself to do a certain task or put that certain task on one of my calendar reminders! The only bad thing about that is that I have 7 email accounts and the message has to go to the correct account for me to do the task. If it’s a ranch task, I need it to go to my ranch email account on my phone. If it’s a task for the newspaper, I need it to go to my gyphillpremiere.com account at the office. If it’s bail bonds related, it needs to go to my attica.net account. If it’s Lake Arrowhead related, it needs to go to my Lake Arrowhead account. I keep a couple of old email addresses to steer junk mail to and talk to old friends on. I (they) hate when I get a message from a friend on my business account and then I don’t respond.

My office can tell you that I get the job done, as long as I have written out what I need to get done! And when I get it done, I cross it off my list and forget about it.

Sticky notes are my friends too. If it gets late in the day and I know I didn’t accomplish something, it turns into a sticky note task that gets stuck to my monitor. I can’t possibly start the next day without seeing it.

The two things that never (NEVER) work for me are: handing me something and asking me to bring it to the office to give to someone else, or messaging me on Facebook about work related issues. If you message me on Facebook, it probably dies right there. If you hand me something and ask me to take it to the office or give it to Ronda, expect it to take as long or longer than if you had mailed it around the world first.

Last summer a tenant gave me a check for several thousands of dollars and said, "Hey, would you give this to your wife?"

I told him that I’m not real good at that, but he insisted. Two months later...... Ronda said to me, "I never got that rent check. I’m going to call him and find out why he hasn’t brought it by."

I told her that was not necessary. It was up in my visor.

Things go there to die as well.

Another example of my forgetfulness happened a few years ago. My tag was about to expire. My sweet bride paid the bill and put my new registration on my desk along with my new insurance cards. It had been raining that day, or she would have stuck the sticker on and put all of the documentation in my truck. The tags expired in August. After about a week of her reminding me, I took the registration card to my truck.

My buddy, who is a Sheriff’s Deputy, noticed in December that my tag was expired and asked me about it. I showed him I had it up in my visor and he said, "well, you really need to put that on and display it properly or you could get cited for that."

The next year in March.... I was driving to church up in Pratt one Sunday and got pulled over. I was wondering why in the world I was getting stopped. The nice police lady (cough-cough) gave me a $427 ticket for improper registration (and no proof of insurance because the one that Ronda gave me was still on my desk). Even though I showed her that I had the registration in my visor, she still wrote me the ticket. Fortunately, the municipal judge was kind and dropped the ticket when I showed I had complied and did have insurance.

Over the years, dozens of ads and articles have probably been left out of your local newspaper and checks have been cancelled and rewritten because I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. I do apologize. Every-once-in-a-while, I remember, but in most situations, not so much!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 28, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Short week. I’ll be back. PS: Dear Santa, Christmas is over. Take your house down or put up a Hobby Lobby.......

KWIBS - From January 21, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Here’s a creative idea: tax people when they leave your country.

It’s a real deal.

Japan recently implemented such a "tax."

As of January 7, 2019, the Government of Japan (GOJ) is implementing a 1,000 Yen "International Tourist Tax" when departing Japan.

You read that correctly because I had to read it twice. I would have never cared except we fly our son home a couple of times a year, so unless it’s exempt by order of the military, we’ll be paying the fee for him to "leave" Japan.

In The Eagles’ song "Hotel California," Don Henley sings, "You can check out anytime you’d like, but you can never leave."

So you can’t leave Japan unless you pay the 1,000 Yen. At first I was like "YIKES!" Then I looked up how much that was in American currency. It’s about $9.20, so I’m not getting too worked up about it yet.

But I got to thinking that this could be a pretty cool tool to raise money for tourism in Barber County.

What if we had a "Barber County Tourist Tax?" You could come into our county free of charge, but we tax you to leave! Maybe you’d just stay! It’s just like "Hotel California," but we’ll let you leave for $10.00!

As my future daughter-in-law recently discovered, the Japanese culture is full of funny things. They have a very difficult time translating their squiggles into our English.

Natalie went to see Nick during Christmas and we had dinner with her after picking her up from the airport. She showed us photos of funny things she read there. I did some checking and the Japanese are almost hilarious when trying to accommodate for Americans. These are real signs in Japan:

"For Restrooms, go back towards your behind."

" Please keep chair on position and keep table cleaned after dying. Thanks for your corporation!"

"Building asks a smoked visitor in the outside smoking section that you cannot smoke in."

In a bathroom: "You lady will push this button before leaving."

"Back to school special: Eat Kids FREE!"

"Toilet. One Place One Dream."

"Only for women. Capsule Room. (Keep Out, Man)."

"Please urinate with precision and elegance."

"Shoplifters will be prostituted!"

On Stairs: "Beware of Missing Foot!"

At a shopping mall: "We can help you with our pleasure!"

At a park: "Beware, this plant wears very sharp prickles."

In a hotel: "Please refrain from taking a bath when you are dead drunk."

On a menu: "Meat muscle and stupid bean sprouts."

While in Okinawa, Natalie shot some photos of things that cracked her up and shared them with us when she got home. Enjoy and have a great week!

I forget a lot of things. Thanks car door!

 

Just in case you haven't used one before....

By the way, "Moking" is also bad for you.

 

KWIBS - From January 14, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

I know we’re already a couple of weeks into a new year, but I wanted to reflect on 2018.

Years ago, I used to journal every day. I did it when my dad became sick with dementia. I wanted to document a really difficult time in my life. It was somewhat of a stress-relief, but turned into something I enjoyed doing and intended on leaving it for my children to read someday.

When my dad passed away, I stopped. It’s something I have wanted to start doing again, but just don’t have the motivation.

I did sit down with my iPad the other night and reflected on 2018. Our family had a lot of ups and downs, some very personal, but I’m usually an open book and not afraid to share in our triumphs and our disappointments. Those difficult times in life are learning and teaching experiences.

In 2018....

All my children were here at the beginning of the year. Nick was home from Okinawa on leave. Joey had a short time off from work in Phillipsburg, KS and we all got to celebrate together before Nick left again.

Ronda and I are huge music fans. We saw the Eagles, Peter Frampton twice, STYX, REO Speedwagon, Don Felder, The Steve Miller Band and a few other concerts during the year.

We discovered an amazing woman named Bat-Or Kalo from Israel. She’s a blues guitarist and singer-song writer. We loved her and her band so much, we hired her to play at our 30th wedding anniversary over the summer in June. To top off that wonderful celebration, Nick flew home from Japan and surprised us with a certificate from his command. We were honored to pin him as an E3. He finished the year as a Third Class Petty Officer.

Joey has been with the White’s Foodliner family for almost 10 years now and he was given the opportunity to manage a new store in St. John, KS. He’d been in Phillipsburg for a year working, learning produce. We are so proud of him and wish the best for the Whites for their endeavors. We also got to meet Joey’s girlfriend Haley! We love her and are excited about her being a part of our family.

During the summer we enjoyed our time with our kids and grandkids at the lake. It’s sometimes hard for us to unwind. Summer is busy for us running a resort, a newspaper and being a bail bondsman, but we made a lot of memories. It was an exceptionally wet year and things were so green, which meant a lot of mowing, but we found time to relax in the evenings and weekends. I did, however, take a fall and hurt my shoulder and am still recovering.

Our class celebrated our 30th reunion. Brett Fincher always organizes and does such a great job putting these on and he did it just weeks after losing his dad, Ron Fincher, a staple in our community.

I lost a friend. His name was Mike Pickens and we shared a love of music together. He was my age and died suddenly. Many of you heard his handy work, as he was part of the sound crew for Peace Treaty events over the years.

Sadly, we too had to bury a family member. Our German Shepherd, Hyde, was two weeks shy of his 15th birthday. He lived a long life and we loved him dearly. It was one of the saddest days of my life to lay him to rest on the ranch. The hardest part was telling my son who was half a world away and spent the majority of his life with that dog. We’ll probably never have another pet again because of how much it hurt when he died.

As stressful as this event can be, we had a great Peace Treaty. Ronda and I have been on the board for many years and you cannot find a better group of people. The Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty Association is passionate about our area’s rich history and works tirelessly to put on events for the community. We had almost decided it was our time to step down, but I ended up being elected President and Ronda went from Treasurer to Secretary. I learned so much from people like Rick and Betty Jo Swayden, Sarah Whelan, Robert Larson, Steve Bryan, Richard Raleigh, David Colborn, Joscelyn Nittler, Aaron Traffas, Mike Roe, Cathy Colborn, Kaye Kuhn, Kyle Thomas, Deb Kolb and Danielle Farr and so many other great folks. I want to thank them all for trusting us to lead this exceptional group of people. I always say there is not one person on that board that we can do without. They are amazing and we are truly honored to continue to be a part of it.

Ronda and I both turned a year older. She hit the half century mark, I’m not far behind her. For her birthday, our friends Nix and Wendy White from California, took us on an amazing trip to New Orleans where we got to tour the city, enjoy the culture and attend a New Orleans Saints’ game vs. The Philadelphia Eagles. After the game, Nix arranged an introduction to Quarterback Drew Brees and his family. We got a real VIP experience that we’ll never forget.

Throughout the last part of the year, we had sorrow again after my daughter and her husband divorced after 8 years. We also lost a friend at Lake Arrowhead. Byron Hummon died. He was a part of our lake family and we will miss him.

Christmas was different for us this year. It was hard because we didn’t have our traditional family Christmas. Nick was unable to come home due to leave time, money and his upcoming wedding in April, so we all chipped in and sent his fiance’ to Okinawa. We missed them both at our gatherings, but we enjoyed all the photos and facetimes with them as they celebrated Christmas and the New Year!

I’m looking forward to 2019. I know there will be ups and downs. That’s how life goes, but I am looking forward to Nick and Natalie’s upcoming wedding in April; Joey is going on another mission’s trip to Haiti; Breeann has a new friend in her life; we have another spring and summer to look forward to (notice I left out fall and winter!); there’s a lot to do on the ranch that we love; our grandkids are growing up; our friends are getting older, as are we.

Life’s cycle continues and I hope 2019 is a great year for us and for you. Thanks for reading, happy 2019 and may God bless you all.

 

KWIBS - From January 7, 2019 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I were the victims of a home invasion last Tuesday evening.

I had started home around 6 p.m., it was getting dark and I was driving an unfamiliar vehicle to me and the owner was with me. The unfamiliar truck ran out of gas about a mile from my house. Fortunately, a nice young man passing by picked me up and brought me to the shed, where Ronda was already waiting for me. I left the owner of the vehicle standing on the side of the road while I found a gas can and filled up.

Obviously, we were not home, but our door alarm went off, so we hurried to the house. We were just a short distance away, on the ranch, when the alarm went off.

As we were coming around the back side of our home, we could see a white van leaving our house and heading south on Resort Road. We had to make a decision; do we check on our home or do we chase after the mystery van?

We chose to check on our home and call the Sheriff’s Department if needed. I left Ronda in the truck and ran in the door and looked around. Nothing was out of place. I decided they weren’t far ahead of us and I could probably catch them. I turned around and saw the evidence left behind and chuckled to myself.

One of our neighbors up at the lake had brought us a plate of cookies and a Christmas card. Since we weren’t home, they just placed the cookies on the table and left. It set off the silent alarm on our door, but fortunately, the audible alarm was not armed. I passed Ronda’s vehicle as I walked out the door and told her everything was all right and to meet me at the gas tank. She pulled up. I gassed up my can and jumped back in.

"Was everything ok in the house," she asked?

"Yes, I figured it out, but let’s get back to that truck and get it off the side of the road," I said.

Ronda was left confused. I was developing a plan to keep the cookies to myself. I just had to beat her back to the house and hide them.

We got back to the truck on the side of the road and my friend was standing there waiting on us. He was holding a plate of cookies.....

My wife was like, "Hey, where did you get those cookies?"

He was about to blow my cover.

"Some nice people in a white van just stopped to see if I was ok and I told them I was with you guys and they handed me this plate of cookies, they said ‘Happy New Year’ and drove off," he said.

Now my cover was seriously blown.

Ronda figured out quickly that it was Brendon and Rachel Wray and their children who had set off our door alarm and now there was no way I was hiding those cookies from her.

We raced home and gorged ourselves on the plate of cookies in a friendly family feud.

Happy New Year!

 

KWIBS - From December 24, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

It’s Christmas Eve!

I have to be honest, Christmas is sometimes not my favorite holiday. It’s not Christmas’s fault - it’s mine.

My heart and my head forget what a great day we are celebrating; the birth of Jesus.

The world tells us that it’s about gifts, food, drinks and ugly sweaters. The simplicity of God becoming man in the form of a helpless baby actually becomes this complicated and confusing situation where the meaning is lost.

The Bible is a love story. It’s God’s love for his creation, no matter how horrible it chooses to be. If you celebrate Christmas for the right reason, you know how difficult this season can be on your spirit. The Devil loves to contort and cause us to fall off the rails during this time of remembrance and celebration. I know I’m sounding really preachy, but this column is as much for me as it is for anyone reading it.

We have a good God and we have a willing Savior in Jesus. Santa did not die on the cross and the elf on the shelf did not rise as the first of all who believe in the scriptures. The book of Isaiah was written nearly 700 years before the birth of Jesus. It goes into great detail of the prophecy of his birth and his death. It’s undeniably one of the most fascinating books of the Bible.

As a believer, I have to be ashamed of myself for not being in the Christmas spirit EVERY DAY! What makes it so difficult for me, or you, to not experience the joy of Christmas every day of our lives?

We’re all born and we all die. The birth of Jesus is the celebration of life. It’s a promise from our God that we too will live forever in Him; a simple, yet so complicated thing to believe (or have faith) in.

Despite every distraction in life, I choose this Christmas to simply thank God for loving me. Historically, our dates are probably off on the official "birthday" of Jesus, but we have that one day to celebrate and remember that, even though I am a sinner, God loved me enough to send his Son into this world to die for my sins.

With that truth, should come joy!

Remember when we were all just kids ready to open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas day? That simple excitement should be how we feel about what we are really celebrating. We’ve received the greatest gift that a person can get - life!

I’m thankful that I can write to you and tell you how I feel about Christmas. I’m glad you are reading this.

Ronda and I and our families want to thank you for supporting us all of these years. It is my honor to wish you and your families a Merry Christmas!

Whatever is going on in your life, good or bad, stop for a moment to think about what Christmas is about and I leave you with a different Christmas scripture that maybe you’ve read a hundred times, but consider the context during this season of celebration:

John 1:14

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

Merry Christmas

 

KWIBS - From December 17, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Plans change.

Sunday afternoon I was making plans to go and do a fugitive recovery for Monday in Wichita. My hopes were to find my guy quickly, get him booked back into Sedgwick County and then go see Byron Hummon who had been sick and in the hospital. I also was wanting to check on my neighbor John Nixon, who was also in the hospital in Wichita.

Sunday night, my contact did not respond with an address, so I postponed my trip. Sadly, Byron passed away early the next day. I felt like I didn’t get to say good-bye.

Byron and Carolyn have a home at Lake Arrowhead and they’ve been a part of the family out there for many years. We’ve spent many a Friday in the summer, having a drink and discussing life at "Party Cove" with our lake family. Byron was wise and I cherished our friendship.

Byron was a generous man to many people with his time and his money. He was humble and always cheerful around Ronda and I. We will miss him at "Party Cove" this spring when the weather gets nicer and we all meet again.

I missed John too. Thankfully, he is recovering and getting better every day.

It seems like our neighborhood goes into hibernation during the colder months. Living between two lake resorts makes us appreciate the warmer days. Unlike living in town, there’s literally nothing to do where we live when the weather turns. Days get shorter and we hide in our warm homes, longing for the warm days, playing at the lake, riding our cycles, shooting fireworks and fishing. I pray John will be up for that really soon.

Tell your friends you love them while you can. It’s really easy, but we forget that we live on borrowed time. Prayers for Carolyn and family during this time of loss that we all feel.

 

KWIBS - From December 10, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

I remember registering to vote on my 18th birthday in 1988. A presidential race was heating up between George H.W. Bush and Michael Dukakis.

It was my first time to vote and I voted for George H.W. Bush. He won. I felt like I had won something too.

Although Bush was a one-term president, I learned a lot about Government and history during his presidency. It was a scary time as a young adult. The Gulf War was ramping up, Saddam was going to launch us into WWIII. Bush was a capable leader, a veteran himself, that would lead the way to remove the tyrant from Kuwait.

President Bush formed a true coalition of willing nations that easily sent Saddam back from Kuwait to Iraq with his tail between his legs. He made life safe for my generation. Many of my friends fought in Desert Storm.

Again in 1992, I voted for President Bush. This time he lost to Bill Clinton. I noted how graceful the peaceful transfer of power happened from Bush to Clinton. We seemed friendlier to each other in those days.

I loved seeing what life after president was for Bush. He embraced life, loved his family and continued to serve his country, even doing it along side Bill Clinton.

At the time of his wife Barbara’s death on April 17, 2018, George H. W. had been married to Barbara for 73 years; theirs was the longest presidential marriage in American history.

41 passed away on Friday night, November 30th, 2018. My iPhone "dinged" with the AP report of his passing. I watched his funeral on Wednesday and Thursday. It was a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man and a great statesman.

"Die young, as old as possible," - George H.W. Bush.

God Bless George H.W. Bush and his family.

 

KWIBS - From December 3, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Years ago former teacher Dale McCurdy taught me the value of time management and scheduling.

We would go on trips together and he would actually send me a spreadsheet that mapped out our vacation.

He would start every trip out with "backwards planning."

This backwards planning intrigued me. What was it? How did it work?

Dale explained, "Take the time you wish to arrive, subtract travel, subtract estimated fuel stops, bathroom breaks and then leave 30 minutes earlier than that."

It’s a pretty clever way to get to things on time.

So two weeks ago when we traveled to New Orleans, our trip home was carefully orchestrated using Dale’s "backwards planning" method.

Ronda and I had a Peace Treaty Board meeting in Medicine Lodge at 7 p.m. that we had to be at, so our story begins at 7 p.m.

Leaving from New Orleans at 10 a.m. would have put us back in Oklahoma City at 1:20 p.m. Grabbing our bags and finding our car (add 30 minutes), consider a bathroom and fuel break (add 30 minutes), and road time (add 3:30 minutes), meant that we would arrive just before 5 p.m., leaving us plenty of time to clean up, eat and make it to our meeting.

Everything started out smoothly. We arrived and boarded our flight and that’s the last time that day that we stayed on schedule....

"Hello and welcome to Southwest to Houston," the captain said. "We’ve got some bumpy weather ahead and our approach would be determined by Houston. We could be delayed by as much as an hour."

We had 1 hour and 20 minutes layover. That would be tight, but we would be ok.

As expected, we landed an hour late in Houston and it was pouring down rain. We entered at gate 45 and our connecting flight was at gate 4 on the other side of the terminal.

We hauled butt, stopping to use the bathroom and grabbing some to go food and literally made it to board the next flight.

We got our seats, got comfortable and prepared to take off when the captain said, "Welcome aboard Southwest to Oklahoma City, we will be delayed a few minutes while we wait on two passengers from a connecting flight as well as waiting on their baggage. We should be exiting and cleared for take off in a few minutes.

A few minutes turned into about an hour and then we took off.

"We’ve got clear skies today and we’re going to bump this up and get you folks to Oklahoma City as close to on time as possible," the captain stated.

We did land only about 20 minutes late. Ronda and I got off the plane and went to baggage claim.

Three flights landed at the same time and the carousel was crammed with folks looking for baggage.

It seemed like a long time, but our baggage eventually arrived. I grabbed it, noting how heavy it felt.

I must have lost muscle tone over the weekend of playing football with Drew Brees and Nix White, or maybe not.

We hurried to our truck, which we had forgotten what floor we had parked on. Once we found it, I heaved our bag in and Ronda got us out on the interstate.

I noted the time.

"We’re going to be tight," I told Ronda. It was 3:15 p.m.

Ronda exceeded the recommended interstate travel speed and we hit Blackwell, OK with enough time to fuel up, grab a snack and take a bathroom break.

Then I got a bond call from an inmate in Barber County....

The calling inmate’s employer lived in Kiowa, had the money and would co-sign. We had to make a detour and we had a 20 minute buffer.

Ronda took off towards Kiowa.

I decided since we were not going to make it home in time to change, that I would grab my sports coat, a nice shirt and some cleaner pants from the luggage.

I had flown from New Orleans in a concert shirt and ripped up blue jeans. The only thing I had to change into was the nicer clothes that I wore to dinner on Saturday night. They weren’t dirty, we just ate dinner and went back to the hotel.

While trusting my wife’s driving, I took off my seatbelt and unzipped the bag.

She instantly slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting farm equipment that pulled out in front of us. I was tossed onto the console and we laughed while I went back to trying to find clothes.

That’s when I discovered why our bag was so heavy. Everything inside of it was soaking wet.

Our bags must have sat out on the tarmac in Houston during the rain.

I carefully pulled out my coat, which was wet; my pants, which were wet; my socks, which were really wet and my shirt, which was wet and wrinkled.

I put everything on and turned my heated seats up full blast. I also pointed all the vents at me and turned up the fan. By the time we reached Kiowa, I was just moist, but exhausted.

We got our signatures and money and agreed to meet up with our defendant after the Peace Treaty board meeting, which was in 30 minutes.

We left Kiowa and hit Medicine Lodge at 6:50 p.m. We pulled into the office. Ronda touched up her makeup and we shared a road taco that was now almost 3 hours old.

It was 7:01 p.m. when we walked into the meeting. We were fashionably late and I was dryer than I was at Blackwell, or Kiowa, but still a little damp.

The "backwards planning" had sort of worked. We made it almost in time.

So thanks Dale, for the lesson on time management!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 26, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

"It’s not, what you know, it’s who you know."

I’m not sure who first said this, but I’ve repeated it several times in my life. It’s really a true statement. I’ve met some very educated people that don’t go far in life and I’ve met some goofballs that dream big, reach for the stars and actually grab a few.

That’s Nix White, long-time buddy, 1988 graduate of MLHS, retired Navy SEAL and owner of FrogX Parachute. You probably know this guy if you’ve been to a Peace Treaty in the last decade. He jumps out of a helicopter and lands in the middle of Main Street during the parade. It’s pretty amazing.

Nix is a regular guy that’s had a larger-than-life-real-life. He’s been all over the world as a SEAL. He’s met presidents and all sorts of celebrities. He just knows a lot of people. I should say, he knows a lot of important people.

When he called me three weeks ago and asked what my November and December schedule looked like, I asked him what did he have in mind?

Nix always has an adventure in mind.

Back in 1999 he invited us out to San Diego. Nix and his wife Wendy took us to Tijuana, MX. That’s a column in itself.

In 2016 he called me up while I was in Amarillo, TX and asked me to pick him up at the airport in Wichita the next day. He had a surprise for me. He took me and a friend to see KISS. We didn’t just see them, we met them and hung out with them for an afternoon because Nix knew their tour manager.

So you can only imagine how peaked my interest was for what he had in mind this time.

"Want to meet up and go to New Orleans," he asked?

So I had to know more specifics. First, a date would be handy. He simply said, "I’ll get back with you."

The next thing I knew, it was two weeks later and he had my flight and Ronda’s flight confirmed and hotel accommodations made. The big news: We were going to the New Orleans Saints’ game vs. the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday!

Oh, it gets way better.

Through the years, Nix had become personal friends with Drew Brees and his wife Brittany.

Using Google as my friend, since joining the Saints in 2006 as Quarterback, Brees has led all NFL quarterbacks in touchdowns, passing yards, and 300-yard games. Brees holds the NFL records for career pass completions, career completion percentage and career passing yards and Nix asked him if he could bring a couple of friends to New Orleans to go to the game and meet him afterwards.

So Ronda and I booked out of here on a Friday and made it, just in time, for our flight out of Oklahoma City. We had a short stop in Houston and made it to the hotel at 10 p.m.

The concierge met us at this very luxurious hotel called "The Windsor Courts." The place was "swanky" as I like to say. He informed us our bags would be up shortly and we were in for a real surprise.

That was an understatement. Our suite on the 17th floor was beyond description. It was adjoined to another suite. We hadn’t noticed that until we walked in and saw that we had a welcome note from Nix and Wendy, which included chocolates and my favorite bourbon (to be sipped on Bourbon Street) later that night.

The next thing I knew was Nix burst through the door to welcome us to New Orleans. Their rooms and our rooms were at the end of the long hallway. We had a private balcony that overlooked the French Quarter. We were completely blown away.

Of course this was another, "I know a guy," story from Nix. He knew the general manager of the hotel.

So we went out, listened to jazz music, walked Bourbon Street all night and slept until noon on Saturday before touring the cemeteries and French Quarter. We ate everything we could and saw as much as we could stand until we dropped from exhaustion.

Again, we slept in until noon on Sunday and then ventured to the Mercedes Benz Superdome. Now keep in mind that Ronda and I are Dallas Cowboys fans. We cheer for the Saints, as long as they aren’t playing the Cowboys.

Before we left for the game, there was a knock at the door. It was Nix carrying Saints’ jerseys for me and Ronda.

"You can’t go to the game without wearing Drew’s number," he told me.

And just like that, we were at the game, but Nix had more surprises. We walked in, showed them a special pass and bam! We were on the field for pregame. Nix walked us over where we stood by a tunnel and out came the Saints and out came Drew Brees.

After they warmed up, we went back up and took our seats and watched the Saints whoop the 2018 Superbowl Champs.

After the game, Nix handed us new passes and said to follow him. We went into a hospitality area and had some drinks and eats and watched Drew do his post game interview. The Brees family greeted us warmly. Just after seeing Drew leave the television screen, he walked in to the room, hugged his family and came over to see us.

Meeting Drew Brees was going to be awesome, but I had another plan. I had my son, Nick, in my pocket.... I had facetimed him in Japan and he had a bunch of marines and sailors waiting to see Drew Brees.

After a quick introduction, I told Drew about Nick and Nix added that he was serving in Japan. Drew’s grandfather had stormed the beaches in Okinawa in WWII.

I asked, "Would you say hi to my son?"

Drew grabbed my phone and started having a conversation with Nick. It was priceless.

Nix had given Nick a signed Drew Brees jersey after he had won the superbowl back in 2010, so Nick was pretty excited to talk to this football legend.

After the conversation ended, Drew asked, "Hey, you guys want to go and hang out on the field for a while?"

You know that there was no hesitation. We all crammed into an elevator and walked out on to the field in the now empty Superdome.

There is no way to describe how incredible this was, but it keeps getting better.

Nix and I have always had this tradition where we stunt some hilarious photo. At least we think we are hilarious. Nix asked Drew if he would play along and he set the scene. Nix and I were on the line and Drew was calling out the plays. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in my life. Ronda took the photo.

Imagine this: Here we were, on the Saint’s 10 yard line (with horrible stance), with Drew Brees behind us calling out the plays. It took a few shots, but we have a winner!

So it’s not what you know, it’s who you know and I know Nix.

The best part of the weekend was just hanging out with Nix and Wendy. They are cool people, both veterans and great friends.

Nix and I broke out cigars Sunday night before we left. That’s another tradition. At least I remembered to bring cigars!

Thanks Whites, for the weekend of a lifetime that we’ll never forget! We can’t wait for the next adventure!

Have a great week!

 

 

KWIBS - From November 12, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

There’s a place for everything and everything in its place.

This was something that Ronda’s mother taught her at a very young age.

If it would have come out of my mouth, it would have sounded more like everything goes on the kitchen table or on the floor by the door.

Ronda’s mother was wise, neat and orderly. She got that from her mother Mildred Meairs. Mildred, Barbara and Ronda all keep a clean home. I would also say that in 30 years, Ronda has trained me pretty well to keep my things put away. The consequences of not putting my things away is that she’ll put them where she thinks they go. That’s not necessarily a bad thing unless she forgets where she put whatever I left out. For instance, I probably own 30 hammers. I know where 3 are. The other 27 got "put away."

There are times where our philosophies on where things go clash. She has her usual go-to places for things I leave laying around if it’s missing because I left it out, I start with my bathroom counter. From there I go to my closet. Finally, if I can’t find it, I look in the garage.

At first glance, my garage looks pretty unorganized. I know where about 90% of the things are that I need, but that other 10%; that’s anyone’s guess.

To further complicate matters, as we both get older we swear we know exactly where we put things, when we actually don’t.

I swore when I got home last Monday, I put my jacket on a chair at the kitchen table. When I didn’t find it there, I went to my bathroom. It wasn’t there, so I looked in my closet. I was pretty baffled when I couldn’t find it, because I had just worn it like 30 minutes before I lost it and I knew it wasn’t in the garage. When Ronda asked what I was looking for, I sheepishly told her I couldn’t find my jacket. She lowered her head and said look on the chair in front of your closet. She has a new go-to place.....

My closet is full.

KWIBS - From November 5, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

We will celebrate Veterans Day on Friday. This special holiday has so much meaning to my family. The actual holiday falls on a Sunday this year, but MLHS will honor veterans at a program at 1:45 p.m. on November 9th.

I’m deeply moved by the service that people give to their country in the armed forces. Although I did not serve, I have the utmost respect for those who did and are serving. My dad was in the Navy during Viet Nam. His service actually had him in and around Cuba during a tense time with Russia. He later did joint missions with many countries in South America. He was a radio technician on a mine sweeper.

His Navy career is the reason I am now here writing this column. My dad was a Kansas native who met my mother in Rhode Island at a YMCA dance. As a result of that meeting, and later a marriage, I was born in 1969 in Providence, RI. When my dad’s time in the Navy was finished, we moved back to Kansas and I’ve never lived anywhere else.

It came full circle two years later when my son graduated from MLHS and went into the Navy, a decision that I am very proud of. He is approaching his second year of service and is now stationed with the Marines on a base in Okinawa as an RP (Religious Program Specialist).

His duties as a Religious Program Specialist might seem sort of unimportant, but after boot camp and his "A" schooling, Nick went through 14 weeks of Marine Combat Training that he described as "worst thing ever". Now he treasures the memories. He switched from "Blue" side Navy to "Green" side Navy. He is considered by his fellow Marines as one of their own. He trains, eats, sleeps and is in all practical measures, a Marine. In just a few months he’ll have his FMF pin.

The United States Fleet Marine Forces (FMF) are combined general and special purpose forces within the United States Department of the Navy that perform offensive amphibious or expeditionary warfare and defensive maritime employment. The Fleet Marine Forces provide the National Command Authority (NCA) with a responsive force that can conduct operations in any spectrum of conflict around the globe.

So, he’s not really just an assistant to a Chaplain. He’s a combatant. Sometimes I joke with him that he’s an armed librarian and secretary, but he does own the phrase, "We fight tonight." I pray that he never does.

All kidding aside, Nick is an awesome shot. According to Chaplain Jones, Nick earned the "expert marskmanship" ribbon with a broken rifle in Okinawa.

During the past year, Nick has served with the Marine Wing Support Squadron - 172 "Firebirds" at Camp Foster, Okinawa. They are the "Tip of the Spear" in the event of a deployment in the South Pacific. It’s taken me an entire year to study up and learn about what they do and just when I thought I learned enough to understand what they do, Nick is about to advance to the command building after his promotion to Third Class Petty Officer (hopefully in December). So dad has a new learning curve.

Thank God for the internet and Wikipedia! From what I’ve seen from pictures Nick has sent me, he’s near a lot of carriers with attack helicopters. There are a bunch of amphibious assault vehicles and tanks and other attack ships. Nick doesn’t tell me much more than that. The kid who graduated from MLHS in 2016 who talked nonstop and had never seen the ocean, is now the kid who seems to be keeping a tight lip on what he does and where he’s at, but he’s almost always at the beach, surrounded by ocean!

I know he’s participated in several operations. One of those operations was a U.S. - Philippine mission back in April or May. He also made a quick trip into South Korea that I can’t even share what I do know, which isn’t very much.

What I do know is that I am extremely proud of my son. He takes his job very seriously - most of the time. Nick has seen and done more in his 2 short years after high school than most of us get to do in a lifetime. I’m glad he made the decision to serve our great nation and to be a part of something bigger than just himself.

His immediate plans are to marry his sweetheart Natalie Bare in April and move her over to Okinawa as soon as possible! He says he wants to share the beauty of the island with her as he finishes his tour which will be sometime after 2021. As for continuing his service, Nick’s mind changes from day to day. No matter what his decision, I know he will never regret his time of service in the Navy with the Marines.

Thank you to every veteran who has served our country. From a combatant to support staff, each member of our military is necessary to maintain peace in our crazy world. Thank you for your service and for your sacrifice to keep us free. You all have my deepest admiration.

Thank you to my son for serving. I know it’s hard being so far away from home, but you are doing something incredible and we are so proud of you!

Chaplain Marquis Jones’ uncle said about the photo below with Nick, "You preach heaven in them and he shoots the hell out of them."

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 29, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

My first experience of vertigo was in 1983 while being a passenger in my dad’s Piper 210 airplane.

The instructor did a climb and stall and then rolled out of it. I remember the sensation of just being lost and not in the right place.

I wasn’t exactly a roller coaster rider as a kid. As a grown up, I’ve ridden every roller coaster I can find. It’s a great thrill, but I always experience vertigo. I haven’t been on a roller coaster in about 5 years, so I had forgotten the sensation until Wednesday of last week.

Ronda was driving me to a doctor’s appointment in Wichita. We left the driveway and my attention was on paperwork in my lap. We hadn’t gone very far down the road, when I had a sensation that just being lost and not in the right place. When I looked up, the terrain was wrong and my brain got more confused.

"Where are we," I asked?

Ronda said, "The township road. Why do you ask?"

That’s when I said, "Umm.... we are going the wrong direction!"

Ronda had turned south like we do every morning to go to town and go to work. Wichita was the other direction. We laughed and then we turned around.

The vertigo stayed with us the rest of the day. We decided to see George Palmer after his hip surgery. He sent me a text and said he was on North Ridge Road. That was perfect, since my appointment was also on North Ridge. We drove up and down Ridge, but couldn’t find the recovery center where George said he was at.

As it turned out, George was on Webb Road, way out East. We missed two exits on the way. When we finally found him, almost an hour later, we all had a good laugh.

Happy Birthday to my bride of 30 years!!! She’s celebrating a milestone on November 3rd!! I love you Ronda!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 22, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Do you ever have days that you feel like your significant other (in this case, my wife) is angry with you? We’ve been married for 30+ years now and we can read each other pretty well. I could tell she was frustrated about something. I just didn’t know what it was.

Several months ago I had an accident and injured my shoulder. I’ve been in a significant amount of pain and discomfort and haven’t been sleeping well. While I’m waiting to see a surgeon, I’m slowly getting more mobility and for the first time in almost two months, I had a great night’s sleep Wednesday night into Thursday morning! In fact, I went to bed shortly before midnight and slept until 9:15 a.m. the next day. It was some kind of adult sleeping record for me.

Unfortunately, my great night of sleep must have translated into a terrible night’s sleep for my wife. From what she tells me, I snored. Loudly. Like one of the seven trumpets blowing from the book of Revelation.

So Thursday, I was all bubbly and bouncy and busy, but Ronda was a zombie, and might I say, a slightly grumpy zombie. I could tell something was wrong, but for the life of me, I could not remember what I had or hadn’t done to make her mad. To top that off, I was incredibly busy, running in several directions.

It wasn’t until the end of the day that I asked her what was wrong and she told me it was the snoring that kept her up all night. I feel really badly about that.

I probably feel worse about telling her that sometimes she snores too and keeps me awake.

I probably just should have kept that to myself.

I was setting myself up to be Lucy and Desi Arnaz from "I Love Lucy."

They were married in real life, but slept in separate bedrooms on the series. Some claim that "The Musters’ Herman and Lily were the first couple to be portrayed sleeping in the same bed on television. The eligibility of this one as a valid claim to rights is sometimes questioned because the Munsters weren’t exactly a "human" couple.

Fred and Wilma bunked together on their rock bed in The Flintstones from 1960-66 (but their eligibility is also questioned because despite being human in character, they were cartoons and not real actors). I remember several times Fred snored through episodes when he and Wilma were sleeping. I think Wilma was just fine and obviously humanity continued and evolved, at least in cartoon world.

Yes, this may have all taken place in the "early days," but even as late as 1969-74 series "The Brady Bunch", six children shared a single bathroom that lacked even a toilet.

I’m sorry, I regress and I apologize to Ronda for keeping her up all night with my snoring.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 15, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Joey Noland and Tonya White

Small town rural America can not survive without people like Pat and Tonya White and their children: Jordan and Julia White, Brennan White and Karly White. For more than 65 years this family has invested in small towns in Kansas with grocery stores.

I’ve enjoyed getting to know this family over the years after they purchased Parker’s IGA back in the early 1990s. It was nearly the same time that Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere.

Since that time, two of my children worked in their store in Medicine Lodge. Both Joey and Nicholas stocked shelves in high school.

I want to brag and gush over this family. Joey Noland has worked for the White’s Family Grocery store for almost ten years. They have taught him so much and now given him the opportunity to be a store manager. Although he’s still in training, I watched him from a distance at the grand opening of the St. John White’s Foodliner last Wednesday and thought about all the opportunities that he’s been given by the Whites. I hope he makes them as proud of Joey as I am. He loves the community of St John and he loves White’s family.

I’m so proud of his work ethic and enthusiasm. It was so much fun to sit back and watch the community of St John get a new grocery store on that day and listen to speeches given by their economic development group and Pat White.

We were so happy to be a part of the celebration. The Whites get little recognition for all they do for their communities. Many people don’t realize that they were one of the largest sponsors for the 2018 Peace Treaty. There were no giant checks or big stories about them in the newspaper. Not because we didn’t appreciate their support, but they were super busy getting ready for the wedding of their son Jordan to his lovely wife Julia during that week.

They didn’t make those donations for the publicity. They did it because they truly care about the communities they serve.

Pat and Tonya are good people and they’ve raised some great kids. Ronda and I appreciate their friendship and for them giving Joey a chance to do something big.

Seeing Joey grow and succeed is a blessing to his mother and I. Thank you Pat and Tonya White, Jordan and Julia White, Brennan White and Norm Clouse for mentoring him. I’m biased, but I think you’ve got one great young man working for you.

Congratulations to the city of St. John and all of the organizations that worked so hard to convince the Whites to come to town. You will never regret asking them to put in that store.

I was very impressed with the warm reception they were given. There was even a marching band present at the ribbon cutting.

Small towns like Medicine Lodge and St. John should be thankful for families like the Whites who are willing to make huge investments in the communities they serve.

In an age where box stores take over and run out the mom and pop businesses that are the heart and soul of rural America, the Whites take a chance and provide a service that’s very challenging.

Also deserving of some praise is Lance and Sloan Freeman. They are young and motivated people who call our area home and they are growing their business and have placed a pharmacy inside. It was fun seeing them on Wednesday.

Congratulations to you all!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 8, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

We have a snapshot of how Peace Treaty 2018 went and tonight The Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty Board will meet to discuss what we already know to be true.

Attendance to our Pageant productions over the three day weekends are on a steady decline, similar to preceding pageants up until 2012 when it nearly became the last pageant.

The hard truth is, every Peace Treaty could be the last. It brings in a huge crowd to Medicine Lodge. The crowds just don’t translate into numbers of tickets sold to the pageant and that is the Association’s main bread and butter to continue the celebration.

I hear two main excuses of why people don’t attend and none of them are legitimate.

"I’ve seen it already." - Well great. I watched it 5 times in 9 days this year between rehearsal and performances and participated in many scenes. I love it each time I see it. It is breathtaking to watch the skill of our community’s riders. I am in awe of the history of our area and would personally not change much of how it is presented. "It’s too expensive." - Seriously? $30? I could never pull that excuse off. Going to a movie costs close to $10 a person without ordering food. Going to dinner at a nice place is closer to $20 a person. Going to a concert is closer to $100. This event is 2 hours of action and history packed into a beautiful amphitheater with over 400 actors. It’s cheap!!

Most who come to town only go to the free events. Those free events can’t happen without good attendance to the pageants or we come up with a new way to raise money. Help us keep History Alive in Medicine Lodge. Support future Peace Treaties!

I want to thank my buddy Pete Meador for being such a great supporter of Peace Treaty. We always try to get a photo together after our signing scene. I’ll leave you with a smile, but consider what I wrote above and have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 1, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Another Peace Treaty weekend is in the books. I can tell you, as a board member, we don’t have numbers yet. That will take us a little while to gather.

I’ve also had to write this before the event actually even started. We’ve felt really good about all the work that’s gone into this year’s celebration. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, I love serving with the people on Peace Treaty board.

It was just 23 minutes from my 20th birthday and my wife was delivering our first born child.

It was 1989. We’d been married just over a year and all I could say was, "Hold it in!" The baby could be born on my birthday if you can just hold it in!"

The fact that I referred to my daughter as "it" or the request to stop being in labor for 27 more minutes didn’t stop us from having two more children, but it resonates with my wife when we talk about Breeann’s birth.

On October 3rd my baby girl will be 29 years old and the very next day, you can add 20 years to that and figure out my age!

 

KWIBS - From September 24, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

We are at the finish line. It’s Peace Treaty 2018 week. Are you ready?

Inside this issue is our Special Edition, all about the history of our little town.

Let us take you back 150 years to a time when our town was just a settlement with a stockade. Our community has grown into what it is today and now we look back and acknowledge the historic events that took place, shaping not only Medicine Lodge, but the expansion of the west in the United States.

The weekend celebration takes so many volunteers that they are impossible to list. We have a cast of character’s page on 4 and 5 and inside the Peace Treaty Edition, you can meet the Peace Treaty’s board. This is only a tiny fraction of those who make this weekend possible. We also rely heavily on The City of Medicine Lodge Crew and are so thankful for all of the things they do to help us prepare for this event.

You’ve probably seen all of the help around town from our youth and from adults. We’ve seen them out painting and cleaning up the community. We appreciate you!

Thank you to our Native American friends for coming and being a part of this weekend.

Beginning today, you’ll start seeing streets closing, guests arriving and horses and wagons going down the street. That’s what Peace Treaty does!

Many of us are Peace Treaty Crazy at the moment. It’s a ton of work to serve on the board and as 1st Vice President, I want to thank everyone who has selflessly served on this board and volunteered to help. We don’t always agree, but we have a common goal. We love this community and the Peace Treaty and our mission is to keep it going for generations.

Now it’s up to you to make it a success. With you, and God’s blessing on the weekend, the 25th reenactment of the signing of the 1867 Peace Treaty with the Five Tribes of the Plains will happen in a few short days.

Have a great weekend!

 

KWIBS - From September 17, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

This is a pretty cool edition for us this week.

I have the pleasure of printing articles of three young men who are doing outstanding things in our community.

Andrew Bell made a post last Sunday while Ronda and I were attending the Kansas State Fair in Hutchinson. Andrew posted on Facebook: "If you're at the Kansas State Fair, come say hi. I'll be here all week! My booth is at 123 Cottonwood Avenue just north of the outdoor arena."

I called him on his cell to make sure he was still there and he was! I’ve known Andrew since he was just a little kid and have always thought highly of him. He has created a fire fighting rig called "The Minuteman" that easily fits into the back of a pickup quickly to fight fires. This idea came after his family’s home was destroyed in the Anderson Creek fire over two years ago.

We stopped to see this invention and I was very impressed. He also had several fair-goers stop by to look at his product and it seems like there is a lot of interest in it. The product is well constructed and has some really cool features. Andrew and his product are featured on today’s front page.

Pake McNally is one of the most creative artists and people I have enjoyed meeting. He also has created a product: a hand-welded workout mace called the "WarClub" under the name Become Stronger, Industries. In addition to this invention, he is a brown belt in Jiu Jitsu and creates works of art from metal. He has a brilliant mind and I am excited to see his business evolve.

Finally, Aaron Traffas has released a new EP. I consider Aaron a dear friend. We are on polar opposite ends of the political spectrum, but we can talk and disagree without yelling and screaming. For this, I have hope. Liberals and Conservatives can have conversations and strive towards common goals.

Aaron is a talented song writer, musician and sound technician. We have a lot of the same interests, we just disagree about politics. Again, I think it’s cool that I consider him a friend even though we have different beliefs.

I see great things in the future of Medicine Lodge and Barber County with the creative minds in these three young men.

It is very humbling to be able to complement these young men. There are many young men and women in our community who are the new "movers and shakers." I first heard that phrase when Ronda and I started our newspaper in 1991.

I remember how kind people like Bill Forsyth, Steve Bryan, Ron Fincher, John Nixon, Pete Meador, Myrlen and Ann Bell, Alan Goering and Dub Rickard (to name just a few) were to us when we ventured out on our own.

You guys are making history. Keep up the good work. Keep dreaming and congratulations!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 10, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

We are just a few weeks away from Peace Treaty 2018!

Every day from here until pageant time, there is some important task to complete in preparation for Peace Treaty. As board members, Ronda and I know first hand the work that goes into putting on a pageant year production.

Thousands of man hours go into preparing for Peace Treaty. It is all volunteer and each and every one of you who donate your time and resources are so greatly appreciated. Serving with the Peace Treaty Association is one of the most rewarding things I’ve had the honor of doing.

Over the next couple of weeks, we will finish up our Peace Treaty Special Edition. We will publish it with our Monday, September 24 newspaper. This edition highlights just a fraction of the people who make Peace Treaty happen.

I would like to encourage and challenge you to do something very important to keeping our heritage alive and keeping Peace Treaty solvent. Buy a ticket to the pageant.

I hear people say, "Oh, I already saw it back in 2000." I also saw it and performed in 4 scenes.

It’s Peace Treaty’s life blood. Sales to the pageant and generous donations from sponsors are what keeps this event alive.

Years ago, word got out that 2011’s pageant could be the last one. The truth is, every pageant could be the last one without ticket sales.

Help spread the word to your friends and family this year and go see the 2018 Peace Treaty Pageant.

We have an amazing community with a rich history. Our story will continue to be told in the future with your support. Let’s never hear, "This may be the last pageant," ever again.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 3, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

A long time friend of mine passed away suddenly last week. I had known him for 14 years.

If you had ever been to a concert at the Cotillion in Wichita or any club that offered live music, you were probably hearing his work. He wasn’t someone that craved the limelight, but he was a rock star in his own way. My friend Mike even worked in Medicine Lodge during Indian Summer Days and the last Peace Treaty as a sound technician.

Mike Pickens was pretty close to my age. I first met him at a club called Loft 150 above River City Brewery in Wichita, KS. He was the house sound technician and a very good one at that. I’m not a great bass player, but he made me sound like one. That was always our little joke.

Over the years Mike went on tour with several bands and became one of the most in demand people for tour management and sound engineering around. You could say Mike was a little odd, but it comes with the territory. You don’t eat well, you don’t’ sleep much and you’re under a lot of stress to please a whole lot of people, but Mike always pulled it off and then blew off steam by playing 18 holes of golf wherever he was on tour.

On at least 5 occasions in four different states, I had run into Mike at music events. He was working and was always happy to see a familiar face in the crowd. At one event in Oklahoma City, Mike came up to me at the venue and asked if I could give him a ride home to Wichita after the show. I had to explain to him that we didn’t go through there to get to Medicine Lodge. He was cool with that. In fact, he would have just come home with us and tried to catch a ride back to Wichita! I finally drew him a map and convinced him that he was as close to home in OKC as he would be at my house. Mike didn’t have a car at the time. He owned a moped, some music gear and had a cat. He ended up finding a ride home the next day.

At a show in Wichita at the Cotillion two years ago Mike spotted me and came over to me and Ronda and yelled in my ear, "How’s it sound?"

I yelled back, jokingly, "A little loud, distorted and tinny!"

Mike looked like I had just parked my truck on the 18th hole’s green or slammed his cat’s tail in the door. He ran over to his console, threw on his headset and started listening to his mix. I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He took off his headset and I yelled back, "Hey man, I was just kidding. It sounds great!"

He threw a little awkward, fun punch at me and looked at me with a silly grin through his thick round glasses. "You jerk," he smirked.

He recently married the love of his life, Amy. They were scheduled to marry late winter earlier this year and Ronda and I had planned on making the trip to Kingman for the ceremony. Bad weather rolled in and he sent out a Facebook message saying the wedding was off for the moment. A week later, he posted they were married and one of the photos had a mutual friend in it that he had as his best man. I was bummed out that we didn’t get notified and fired him off a text. He said, nobody came except our mutual friend Gabe and a couple of family members. It was just a spur of the moment wedding at the courthouse before the next round of bad weather rolled in.

Mike came off tour on the road two weeks ago and hadn’t been feeling well. He was dehydrated and worn out from his last trip across country. He went in for treatment and then went home. His wife found him unresponsive the next day and he was revived and placed on a ventilator.

Mike was taken off of life support on Tuesday of last week after several doctors gave bad reports of his condition. He died at 2:49 p.m. Wednesday. Our mutual friend Gabe called me to tell me the sad news.

I was out on the tractor mowing when the call came. We shared some memories and I put on one of Mike’s favorite bands, "Aranda." Our mutual friend Gabe is the lead singer. I’m glad I got the news from Gabe and didn’t see it on Facebook until later in the day.

Mike was supposed to be here on Wednesday, September 26, 2018 to help with sound for Peace Treaty. There are many other sound technicians coming, but I was most excited to see Mike. He will be missed by so many people. Some that didn’t even know him or why he was here. They didn’t even realize how important he was to what they were hearing.

If you get a job when you go to Heaven, Mike would be in charge of making the Angels sound more awesome than they already do.

 

KWIBS - From August 27, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Wednesday moring my wife sighed and said, "Our office is a newspaper again."

I was like, "huh?"

"Well, we’ve been a daycare-slime factory for the last three months," she explained.

Yes, school is back in session and our office manager is starting her kindergarten year. All day Kindergarten. Thank you USD#254.

Our cute Grandkids Kycen and Baylee!

 

KWIBS - From August 20, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

A friend is someone who is there to catch you when you fall or at least put your dislocated shoulder back in after you take a stupid-stumble.

A stupid-stumble is similar to a regular stumble, but involves you doing something stupid in the process of the stumble. I don’t need to go into great detail, but my stumble was a classic stupid-stumble.

My friend just happens to be very skilled in fixing this type of injury. He also had a side kick that night who found my predicament quite amusing. Apparently, she thinks I should look down before stepping. I’ve done a lot of painful things in my lifetime, but dislocating an arm/shoulder, is right up at the top of the list.

After a visit to our x-ray department at Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital, it looks like nothing is broken, but my left arm and shoulder are reminding me daily that I am not as young as I used to be. I will be sporting a sling for the unforseeable future, which is really putting a kink in things like: trying to write this column, working on anything requiring two hands, putting on clothes, driving, texting (not texting and driving) and clapping.

I’m also convinced this is a career ending injury for me as a quarter back for any NFL football team. It would also end it as a concert pianist, brain surgeon or astronaut. Thank God I can’t play piano.

I was fortunate enough to have my friends to help me and a box full of slings from other stumbles, stupid or not. The one I’m wearing is kind of special because it was my son’s. Nick tore his shoulder in one of his last high school football games before joining the Navy.

 

KWIBS - From August 13, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

If you know me well at all, you know I am crazy about music. Ronda and I are always finding a concert we want to see and last week we managed to break our own record. We scored 2 front row, centerstage seats to Peter Frampton at the Kansas Star Casino.

What makes it a record breaker is that we’ve only made it on the front row twice in 33 years of concerts. The really cool part is that both times, it was Peter Frampton!

 

 

KWIBS - From July 30, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

The story about the Ruckers on the front page this week, is the hardest story I have ever had to write in my 30+ years in the newspaper business.

Fortunately, it had a happy ending.

The reason it was so hard to write, is because I care so much for this family. Emma Jo and Gary Rucker are the sweetest couple you could ever meet. We’ve featured them several times over the years and I always love hearing Gary ask me, "How are things up the creek?" at church.

To hear that they were terrorized in their own home saddened and angered me. What you don’t know about this story, is that Gary and Emma Jo prayed for the man who was hurting them and robbing them. They witnessed about the love, grace and mercy of Jesus to this man. That’s just the kind of people they are. Their son Flint said it best when he told me that they were "the best parents in the world."

I was on FaceTime with my son in Okinawa when we saw the helicopter fly over our ranch. The very ranch where Flint keeps a herd of cattle. Little did we know, that helicopter was flown in to transport the man who had just assaulted the Ruckers. I turned my phone around and showed Nick. He wasn’t that impressed, reminding me that he lived on a base full of helicopters. When I heard the news later that night, I texted Nick back and we shared in the shock of what had happened.

I texted Flint the next morning, but wanted to give him a few days before I spoke with him. I knew that he was being bombarded with questions and I hated to be that one more reporter guy that called. So finally on Wednesday, Flint stopped in and sat down for the better part of an hour to tell me what had happened.

I was in complete shock.

For most of my life, I have idolized Flint Rucker. He’s a man’s man. Tough as nails, with a heart of gold. I consider him one of the greatest friends and men in my life. He has been encouraging to me, shared in good times and bad and has always been there when I needed him. We’ve laughed together and cried together. I want him to know that he is special to me and my family and loved by this community.

Flint is so humble. He would not want the recognition or mention, but he is a hero who gives credit where credit is due. This was a God thing that he was able to overpower that would-be thief and killer.

Things could have ended so differently for the Ruckers that night. I’m thanking the Lord that it turned out the way it did. Flint is a man who has always had strong faith in God. This can only reinforce his beliefs.

I’m so thankful that he was right where he needed to be that Saturday when Ora Munger decided to try and make victims of his family.

I pray that Emma Jo and Gary and Flint and Donna and all the huge Rucker family heal emotionally and physically from this event. I know they are strong people and they love each other and their community.

When I think of what Flint did and what could have happened, I get goosebumps, but it reminds me of some scripture that I believe is a perfect example of how Flint lives his life.

John 15:13 - Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends (family in the case).

God bless the Ruckers!

 

KWIBS - From July 23, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

A young Nicholas and a young Hyde.

There’s a special bond we form with our pets. You don’t even realize it’s happened until one day they are gone.

We lost our loyal friend of almost 15 years last weekend. Hyde was a smart and kind German Shepherd that was just a natural part of our family.

Ronda and I found an advertisement from a family selling German Shepherd puppies over by Augusta back in 2004. We had just lost our friend "Beau" who was hit while chasing a truck. We had said we would never get another dog, but our hearts were so broken and empty.

We brought our new puppy home and named him "Hyde." He wasted no time in becoming our new buddy.

As our kids all grew up and left the nest, it was just me, Ronda and Hyde. For about the past two years, Hyde didn’t come out and play with us much. We could get him to go on a walk on his good days, when his hips weren’t bothering him. We slowly watched him grow from a puppy to an old man.

In his younger years, Hyde could jump higher than your head for a frisbie or ball, he could catch a treat in his mouth from more than 25 yards away. He knew multiple commands and would do some of the funniest tricks like spinning in circles until he got his treat. Hyde loved to ride in my truck, in the back. With the "load up" command, he would literally jump into anything that had wheels.

He went everywhere with me. If I had a town errand, he came with me. He’d sit patiently in the truck when I ran into the grocery store. He came to the office for the first few years of his life until he just got too big and was too nervous of all the traffic. He also got a little too protective when customers came in and we took him home to be on the ranch. He was a farm boy. He liked the peace of the country and being close to his pond in the front yard where you’d often find him cooling off on a hot summer day. He would go on long walks with Ronda and I and occasionally spot a deer and take off running. He would be gone for hours and always returned tired.

As a member of the family, he joined us for our first Christmas photo back in 2004. Looking back, he was in graduation photos, birthday photos and about every holiday occasion we had.

We’ve known our time with him was getting shorter and when Nick came home on leave from Okinawa last month, I told him that it was close and Hyde was struggling. Nick needed to say his good-byes because I was sure he wasn’t going to make it to April of 2019 - Nick’s next leave. Hyde couldn’t see well anymore, had lost most of his hearing and struggled to stand and walk. He never acted as though he were in pain and would still come out occasionally and sit on the porch with us for dinner. I knew he hurt though.

Last Sunday he just didn’t have the strength to pull himself out of his dog house. I took it apart and tried to gently bring him to his food and water. He drank, but soon laid down and seemed like he’d had enough of it all. I could see it in his eyes.

I called Joey to let him know that Hyde was going to be gone that day. He was in Denver and I hated to ruin his weekend, but he understood. He wished he could have been there with us. I sent Nick a message, knowing it was late in Japan, but wanted him to know that we were about to lose his first dog. He wrote back and said, "don’t tell me."

Moments later Nick flooded Facebook with photos and this message: "There's so many hard things about being over seas. Constantly missing friends and family. But the hardest part is losing someone and not being able to say good-bye. Hyde was truly the best dog I could have asked for. I remember sitting in the garage talking to him and pretending that we had full conversations with each other without needing to say a word. There's no love like a love for your dog. But it makes my heart easy knowing he's not in pain anymore. God got the goodest boy today."

He may be United States Navy stationed with Marines and hardened by his training, but his heart is soft and I knew it was broken.

Ronda and I sat quietly on the ground and brushed him out and said our good-byes. We shed a lot of tears for our friend and furry child of 15 years. We held his head in our lap as Dr. Lynch showed such amazing compassion as she reassured us we were doing the right thing.

We laid him to rest in our yard, overlooking the pond he would swim in. I imagine Hyde being able to run and jump and play again, like when he was a puppy.

Everyday we get up and look out the window where his kennel is. We remember every bark, whether it was to warn us or just to say "hey!" when we pulled in the drive way each day.

We say now we won’t replace our friend Hyde, it’s just too hard to say good-bye.

You can only hope that one day our compassionate God would allow us to see our pets again. The Bible isn’t clear on this, but my heart would feel so much better if I knew I would get a big slobbery kiss from him when my time comes.

You were a good dog, Hyde. Good boy!

Have a great week and love your dog!

 

KWIBS - From July 16, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

A Texas man who plead guilty to stealing more than $1.2 million in fajitas while acting as a public servant has been sentenced to 50 years in prison.

Gilberto Escamilla, 53, was employed at the Darrel B. Hester Juvenile Detention Center in San Benito, Texas, until August 2017 — when it was discovered that he had been placing orders for fajitas using county funds and then selling them for his own profit since December 2008, according to Cameron County Court filings.

When sentenced on Friday, Escamilla was also served with the maximum fine of $10,000 on top of the $1,251,578.72 he was ordered to pay back for the cost of the fajitas, officials said.

According to The Brownsville Herald, Escamilla's scheme unraveled last August after a delivery driver with Labatt Food Service phoned the detention center to give kitchen employees a heads up that an 800-pound delivery of fajitas had arrived.

Employees immediately thought the delivery to be suspicious as minors at the detention center are not served fajitas, however the delivery driver insisted that had been delivering fajitas to the detention center's kitchen for the past nine years.

After being fired and arrested, Escamilla's house was searched by police, who found packages of the fajitas in his refrigerator.

"It was selfish. It started small and got bigger and out of control," Escamilla said during court testimony, according to the Herald. "It got to the point where I couldn't control it anymore."

Texas State District Judge J. Manuel Banales, who handed down the sentence, dismissed an additional theft charge as part of an earlier plea deal made by Escamilla. Because Escamilla stole more than $200,000 worth of goods, Texas law considers the crime to be a first degree felony and allows for a sentencing of up to 99 years in prison. It also allows for a more severe punishment if the defendant commits a crime while acting as a public servant.

And that’s the news!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 9, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

There are a lot of positive and negatives when a holiday falls in the middle of a work week.

For us, it was mostly negative. Our scheduling got tight with deadlines and it was harder for us to get things written and placed in the paper.

On the positive side, nobody knew which weekend to do fireworks shows, so we saw one on June 30th at 99 Springs, one on Tuesday night at Dr. Meador’s house and then had a great show provided by Derrick and Shanda Swinehart at Lake Arrowhead on Saturday night. I appreciate all of those folks who light up the sky in honor or our Independence Day.

Speaking of the holiday.... It’s always been a tradition for me to find a funny 4th of July shirt to wear. Last year, I bought Joey and I shirts. Mine had President Trump riding an American Eagle and holding a machine gun on it. Joey’s was of President Bush standing on two sharks shooting a machine gun. They both said "Freedom" on them. They were hilarous. One year I had Chuck Norris holding a pair of machine guns and it said, "Undefeated World War Champions."

This year, I found a shirt that said, "Happy Treason Day - Ungreatful Colonists." It had a Brittish Flag in the middle of it. I got some laughs from a few people. Many didn’t even notice what it said.

The 4th of July wasn’t quite the same for one of my family members. Nick spent it on base in Okinawa in his room for the most part as a Typhoon rolled over the island for a few days. It was the first time he admitted to being home sick in a long time.

? ? ? ?

Our first Weird Beard contestent was named this week. It goes out to my buddy Andrew Meador. Keep those photos coming! See Andrew’s photo on the right, page three and see if you can top that!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 2, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

A friend came to visit me this week. We come from opposite ends of the political spectrum, but we are most often in agreement on topics.

Our discussion turned to the ongoing spotlight the media has placed on immigration. It’s not a new topic for our country. As old as I am, I can’t remember a time that immigration wasn’t a topic of discussion, especially close to election time.

No one I know believes we don’t have some sort of immigration problem in our country. Dealing with the issue generally stirs up a lot of opinion.

The most recent discussion, rightly so, has been on the subject of separating children from family at the border. It’s a heartbreaking issue that is impossible not to be emotional about.

The images of children sleeping in cages and crying for their parents does make you sick, but the zero tolerance policy is an enforcement of laws that have been on the books for quite some time.

I applaud the president for reversing his decision to separate children from family. At the same time, I am a firm believer in secure borders. Those seeking asylum in our country are simply trying to escape from the hardships they are experiencing in their own countries. The dreams of freedom America has to offer would make anyone from a third world nation want to come here. My personal feelings are that I welcome all who want to come to our country and live productive and fruitful lives.

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

Most all of us here today come from lineage of refugees or immigrants. Our country was built on these principles, but before you think I’ve become some bleeding liberal, I also believe that there is a need to vet these people, now more than ever. Our country is a country of law and order. People wanting to enter into this country, must do so legally and orderly, not through porous holes in our southern border.

In today’s world, borders are sad, but needed to secure our country. Thousands of people enter illegally and many commit heinous crimes against citizens of The United States. We can sing the lyrics to "Imagine" by John Lennon until we’re blue in the face, but the reality is that if you cross the border illegally into Mexico, you’re going to be separated from your child, if you brought one with you, and you’re not going to be treated very well.

As many of you know, I also work as a surety agent. That’s a fancy word for bail bondsman. I deal with a number of Hispanic defendants, normally very good people simply trying to better themselves by coming to our country. They work harder than most of us, but they so often circumvent our system. When arrested, they become extremely difficult to bond. Many have aliases, prior convictions and a large percentage of them abscond from their responsibility to answer to our courts for their crimes. It’s a real problem that I experience first hand.

My highest rate of absconding comes from illegal immigrants. One of my largest lost bonds was on a drug smuggler from Poland who worked for the Mexican Cartel. She overstayed her visa, committed several felonies and then fled the country. Thankfully, she will never return. If she does, she will be sent to prison for a very long time. Folks, these are scary people, doing scary things. People associated with them, lost their lives. They were American citizens.

Last week the president addressed the media concerning victims of illegal immigration. President Trump highlighted "American victims of illegal immigration" on Friday, hosting families of people killed by people who immigrated to the U.S. illegally to tell their stories and hitting back at critics of his rescinded policy that separated some children from their parents who crossed the border illegally.

"These are the American citizens permanently separated from their loved ones," Mr. Trump said at the White House. "These are the families the media ignores. These are the stories that Democrats and people that are weak on immigration don’t want to discuss."

I watched family member after family member holding photos of their lost loved ones and listening to their stories. It was heartbreaking.

We have to embrace the fact that we do have an immigration problem and stop turning it into a talking point for elections. The president ran on the issue of fixing our nation’s immigration issues. I say we at least let him try or offer up a better solution that still keeps Americans safe. We need to stop taking a side and start thinking constructively, yet compassionately. I don’t want to see photos of children in cages and I don’t want to see pictures of lost loved ones.

Before you fix your leaking water line in your house, you do one simple thing: you shut off the water. Before you change a receptacle in your house, you shut off the breaker. You do this so you don’t create a mess, or worse, cause injury. Our border should be treated the same.

KWIBS - From June 25, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

A sixth branch of the military, in space no less, could be in our near future. Unless congress launches that idea into the sun (see older columns for reference to shooting things into the sun).

Last week President Trump announced "Space Force." Man, if that doesn’t take your mind off of hookers, Russia and inappropriate things he’s said, then nothing will.

I guess it’s all in the delivery.

"We must have American dominance in space. Very importantly, I'm hereby directing the Department of Defense and Pentagon to immediately begin the process necessary to establish the Space Force as the sixth branch of the armed forces. That's a big step," he said in the White House East Room during a meeting of his National Space Council Monday.

"We are going to have the Air Force and we are going to have the Space Force: separate but equal, it is going to be something so important," he said.

I suppose that’s logical and probably important, but what about the uniforms for the troops? I think it would be so cool to have them modeled after Storm Troopers from Star Wars movies. Let’s face it. Those guys are super intimidating.

Obviously, Space Force Generals would dress like Darth Vader.

All joking aside, space is an important place to be dominant. You must consider that our satellite technology is of the utmost priority in the event of a war. If space is secure, then our troops on the ground have a better chance of winning battles. All communications and targeting systems come from space, so it’s not that far fetched to dedicate a branch of our military to space.

Sorry to my lib friends. I think Trump is on to something here. Space: The final frontier....

 

KWIBS - From June 18, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I have been empty-nesters for about two years now.

Don’t let anyone tell you that it isn’t awesome.

Of course we were sad when our youngest son left for the Navy, but we discovered quickly that it wasn’t all that bad. No offense to my kids, but I am glad they are out of the house and on their own.

Of course, they’re never really on there own. They are always your kids and always come home.

And they all did.

Last weekend we had all three of our kids home. This is pretty tough to manage considering one of them lives 7,147 miles away.

They may all be adults now, but when they come home, they pick up right where they left off. They make a mess!

When you are just two people, it’s easy to cook and keep things in order. When you are 40 people, you are just crazy.

Yep, we had about 40 family members show up over the weekend. It was our 30th wedding anniversary and aunts and uncles and sisters and brothers and cousins and extended family all came to celebrate with us. We had more than 40, but the 40 I’m speaking of needed food, water and shelter. That’s a lot of work, but well worth it!!

We did decided that our next big anniversary, we’re probably taking a cruise, because it will be cheaper. *kidding*

I’m grateful for the time we got to spend with everyone. It’s never enough time. It’s been so amazing having Nick home and getting Joey home for a couple of days during that time.

The next time we all will be together will be in April of 2019 when Nick and Natalie get married! It takes my breath away a little bit to think it will be that long before we see him again.

Thanks to everyone who came. We are blessed.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 11, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

She is my better half.

Happy Anniversary Ronda!

This weekend, Father’s Day, is our 30th wedding anniversary.

Two high school sweethearts tied the knot on June 17, 1988 just one month after I graduated from high school.

There were groans from family and friends when we announced we were getting married. They said we were too young. We were, but all we had was each other and we did it.

We have so many stories from 30 years. We’ve been places and done things that a lot of people never get to experience. We’ve experienced much joy and many sorrows. We’ve raised three amazing children, one giving us two grandchildren. We’ve lost parents, a cousin, friends, grandparents and aunts and uncles.

Father’s Day this year will be the most incredible day for us. Not only does it mark our 30th, we will have all of our children home. Bree never strayed far from home, but our son, Joey, lives in Phillipsburg, KS and is working for the White’s family grocery stores. He’ll soon be moving to St. John. Nicholas of course is in the Navy based with the Marines in Okinawa. He’s made the 22 hour journey home to spend this special day with us! He did it while being promoted! He’ll actually have his pinning ceremony once he goes back.

There will be so much to celebrate. It will be the last time we’ll all be together until at least April of 2019 when Nick and his fiance’ Natalie get married. This will be a bittersweet gathering for us.

I’m a blessed man and I know it. How Ronda has ever put up with me, I will never know.

There has never been another love in my life as I have found in you Ronda. You are my wife, my best friend, my business partner and so much more.

I love you!

Happy 30th!

 

KWIBS - From June 4, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

This is a huge week for us!

Nick is coming home for 14 days of leave starting Friday.

We were last together at Christmas, which just seems like yesterday. This trip home comes after a short deployment to South Korea and the Philippines. Nick is still in Okinawa with the Marine Wing Support Squadron 172, but his job now has him traveling more of the South Pacific.

When he came home in December, I warned him that it was cold here in Kansas. He said, "Dad, it’s cold here too. It was like 65 degrees."

That’s considered cold in Okinawa.

When I talked to him last week, I warned him it was hot and humid here. He said, "Dad, I live near the Equator. You don’t know what hot and humid is."

One of my favorite things about Nick coming home is his menu requests. His mother and I always love fixing him his favorite meals - those meals that we fixed all the time when he was in high school that we didn’t even know were his favorite. After eating MRE’s (meals ready to eat) and what I call "poodles and noodles," he’s ready for some "normal" food. I would imagine I could grill hamburgers every night and he would be fine with that.

I realize that we have to share him with someone very special to him, his fiance Natalie Bare. They will be making plans for their April 2019 wedding. Natalie will be going with Ronda and I on Friday to pick him up. She’ll get the first hugs and kisses and then we’ll get ours. :)

Speaking of weddings...

Congratulations to my Nephew Ronnie Landwehr and my new Niece-In-Law Morgan Landwehr on their marriage this last weekend! We’re so happy for you guys!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 28, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Today is Memorial Day. It didn’t change much for us at the paper, other than we have to mail the newspaper to subscribers on Tuesday.

It’s always hard for me to slow down and really get to appreciate Memorial Day. This year was particularly hard because I was very short handed at Lake Arrowhead Resort. My go-to-guy (AKA: Mower man) Dave Gilbert, took a much needed vacation to Alaska for two weeks.

He’d prepared me a month in advance, but I didn’t get the dates until a week before he left, which just happened to be, historically, our biggest and busiest weekend of the year.

I could handle it though and I had a great offer from my former go-to-guy Leroy Weber to help out with some mowing. I took him up on it and I am glad I did!

Friday before: Main mower had charging issues. I thought I had this fixed before Dave left. Nope. I loaded it up and took it to Stucky Repair in Kingman. I had burned up a wiring harness and rather than keep replacing the wire, we just replaced the entire service bulletin advisement for a kit that was to solve the problem once and for all. I also discovered the seat bracket was broken.

Saturday before: Graded all the roads and one hour later, we got 1" of rain....

I was beginning to see a trend.

Monday before: (less than one week to get it all done). The road grader started leaking coolant. My solution? Carry two jugs of water on the back of the grader. I regraded the roads and stopped frequently to give her a drink.

Tuesday before: The main mower is not done, so I mowed all day with a bush hog and the tractor. The tractor kept overheating and then it wouldn’t shift into 2nd gear. I managed to mow in 1st gear.

As it was getting dark, I realized that I had missed a dinner with friends in town.

Wednesday before: I finally had to actually go to my real job, but I broke my glasses and am having issues seeing. The parts won’t be in until Wednesday after Memorial Day. I’m so thankful that Bree and Ronda kept the office organized.

The main mower is fixed, now I had to run to Kingman to get it. I ran home and hooked up my trailer and noticed that my fender was shoved into the tire. I thought that was strange. As soon as I moved it, I realized it was more serious than that. I had broken a leaf spring and the axle had slid back. The trailer was toast. So I had to use my car trailer to haul the mower home. I joked that I could have pulled home about 6 mowers.

I made it back safely and started mowing again. I finished up at 6:30 p.m. before we got about an inch of rain later that night. I’m out of time to blade the roads again, so I hope they dry out.

Thursday before: I came to realize that I am spread too thin and am thanking the good Lord above that Leroy is still helping! Josh Ybarra also came out and helped do some trimming before the big weekend.

Ronda left to go help our son move out of his appartment in Hays and helped his girlfriend move into her new appartment.

I finally had to stop mowing so I could go cheer on the Lady Indians in Pratt!

Friday before: We finished up the majority of the newspaper by noon and I went back out to mow the dam and spillways. This should be the end of mowing for the week.

So, it was a memorable week getting ready for Memorial Day weekend. I appreciate all the things that Dave does and I would have been out there working whether he was here or not. Having Leroy and Josh around was such a blessing. That’s just how weeks before holiday weekends go in the summertime.

Although, I didn’t make it to the final resting places of my loved ones, I will remember them and will make memories with my family!

Happy Memorial Day to you all!

 

KWIBS - From May 21, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Just a couple of months ago, we lost a great friend. Ron Fincher passed away at the Kansas Heart Hospital after complications from open heart surgery.

A quote on my desk reads, "If we can’t find it, you don’t need it." It’s a Ron Fincher quote.

His son, Brett Fincher, has been a life long friend. So, when he called saying he had been having some pain in his chest and was going in for a stress test, we all got pretty concerned about him. He went to the same surgeon his dad had gone to.

Last week, Brett underwent a heart cath at the Kansas Heart Hospital. Obviously scared of what this experience was going to be like, I offered up my experience with it and assured him that he was going to be just fine. I’ve had three caths, five stents. Brett insisted that he was probably going to be all plugged up and needed several stents because of his genetics. Keep in mind, Brett works out hard every day and jokingly we call him a "thoroughbred."

Ronda and I drove up last Wednesday for Brett’s procedure. When we got there we ran into an old friend and classmate who was also there for support. Doug Hamm was a 1988 graduate of MLHS. I hadn’t seen him since our 10 year reunion. We caught up in the lobby and waited for news on Brett.

Doug had lived in the house I grew up in and later in life, we did some horse trading on cars. It was really good to see him and great to hear about his missions work in India.

The surgeon came out and asked for the Fincher family. Well, that was Doug, Ronda and me. He announced, "Brett is just fine. We didn’t find any blockage."

That was great news. We went to Brett’s room for a couple of hours and he was released. God answered prayers for Brett and now he has the peace of mind knowing that he’s going to be ok!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 14, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

I always feel bad when I make a mistake in the paper. Last week I thought we had a phone number wrong in an ad, but it turns out the phone was just messed up for a day.

It caused a little confusion, but former resident Barb Keltner got it straightened out for me and we discovered we hadn’t actually made a mistake at all!

To make me feel better Barb sent this gem of a poster hanging on a restaurant window, I assume in the Kansas City area. It gave me a good chuckle.

Thanks Barb! I just realized that it was one year ago that you and Mike moved away. We miss you guys and we’re glad you’re keeping us on our toes and made coffee run out my nose!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 7, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

All week long. I get in my truck and rev the engine up a few times, put it in gear with my foot on the brake and gas and when I take off, I go as fast as I can... until I hit the speed limit.

Before our busy season begins at the lake, Ronda and I have been itching to experience new things and take mini road trips on the weekends. When Derrick and Shanda Swinehart and their daughter Aubrey invited us to watch them race their cars in Great Bend last weekend, we took them up on it.

Keep in mind, I hadn’t been to the "drag races" since I was a kid. Ronda used to go to Texas Speedway as a little girl with her family and we both discovered, we weren’t that interested in it when we were little, but this was a unique opportunity to watch a father and daughter race alongside their Grandpa Gordy Myers. Three generations of local people seemed like a historical event that we should go see.

So our tour started out with me doing some investigative work on a bond skip I had last week in Pratt County. I didn’t find my person, but we had left plenty early enough to drive around and take a tour of St. John, KS. The White’s are opening a grocery store there. It’s really a nice little community. We stopped and visited with a couple of locals before moving on down the road. At this point, I had not yet developed my "need for speed."

We rolled into Great Bend about 45 minutes before the races began and found the Swineharts. Although I wanted to ask 40,000 questions, I knew they were all getting ready for their races. Shanda was quite informative and gracious enough to explain what was going on to me and Ronda.

First up to race was their daughter Aubrey. Aubrey has been racing since she was old enough to drive a car. She was running low 12 second quarters in her 1963 Nova. We walked to the line as she drove her car into position. I really didn’t know what to expect. Here’s a girl who had not raced in almost three years, in a hotrod, racing guys...... The lights lit up on the tree and when it hit green, Aubrey had gunned it. The earth shook, my ears hurt and the next thing I knew Aubrey was flying down the track. She won her race. I think she drove across the line going about 112 mph.

We were instantly hooked! Our team had just won a race! Like we had anything to do with this team. Haha.

I was given a sneak preview of the behind the scenes of this sport by Derrick a week before. He had showed me two of his three race cars. One was a dragster fueled by alcohol and nitrox. As a complete novice, I just thought two cars pull up, the lights go to green and you race down the track and the first one to cross the finish line wins. Not so.... I can’t even explain all of the science and math behind this sport, but it is not the redneck event I was planning on attending. Those who take this sport seriously have a lot invested, including computers and weather stations to help calculate their times. They sort of compete with themselves and the other car in the lane next to them. It made my brain hurt a little bit.

The races aren’t just for "race cars" we saw several normal vehicles competing. One was a 2004 Jeep Cherokee. I’m pretty sure my truck was faster, but that’s not what this sport is really about. We saw Vetts, Camaros, Trucks and even motorcycles racing that day.

So, by this time we are pretty hooked after Aubrey’s race and excited to watch Derrick in his dragster. Here’s a car that does close to 190 mph! This is the real deal with the parachute that pops out the back and everything. I was pretty excited when I saw Derrick shoe horn himself inside the cockpit of this miniature rocket and put his helmet on. We walked over and did the same routine with following him to the line. Before the race, the drivers pull up to an area that is wet so they can do a quick burnout to get the tires hot and sticky for the launch at the starting line. When Derrick’s car started spinning the tires, I capped both my ears. Dear God, there is a lot of power in one of these cars! This was twice as loud and earth shattering than Aubrey’s car.

Derrick’s race didn’t end like Aubrey’s, but Derrick wasn’t finished. There was a buy back. During that intermission, we watched Gordy Myers win one and lose one. We also ran into Troy Wells from Medicine Lodge. Although I only got to see him race one time, it wasn’t his day either.

During Aubrey’s last race of the evening, Ronda got a chance to ride to the line with her in her car. That’s a grin I will remember for a long time and I’m sure she will too!

At the end of the evening, all our Medicine Lodge people had been eliminated, but this was a great experience and probably one of our funnest mini-road trips we had taken in quite sometime.

As we were leaving, I power braked my truck and got the tires to break lose on the pavement, doing what I thought was a pretty impressive burn out. After being scolded for doing that, I still pulled away with a huge grin on my face!

Thank you to the Myers and the Swineharts for letting us hang out with you all and see an unusual and entertaining family bond! Good luck on the rest of your season!

Aubrey and her race car!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 30, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Two years ago, I was filled with emotion as my last child graduated from MLHS.

So I know too well how many of you parents are feeling this week. The thought of your child, whether first one, or the last one, or the middle one graduating just makes you about spin out of control.

Their world is about to change in an amazing way. There will be new freedom and the ability for them to choose their paths. There will be some mistakes made and some will face struggles, but I’m confident that they will find their way.

My confidence comes from knowing many of you parents and knowing the faculty and staff of MLHS. We live in a blessed little community with great people looking after our children.

For you seniors, take nothing for granted. Your experiences at MLHS will be the launching point for life. Remember the values that you were taught, not just algebra and science. Remember your relationships with your classmates. Remember the successes and failures of your sports teams, your coaches and teammates. Remember your time at MLHS.

These will be some of the best memories of your life. The new memories you are about to make will also be great experiences.

This is a very special class to me. My Nephew Riston Landwehr is graduating, top of his class! Congratulations Riston and the class of 2018. I’m proud to welcome you into the world of alumni! You’ll always be an Indian no matter where you go. I wish you the best of luck in all of your endeavors.

These things I leave with you as advice from an old MLHS graduate: Don’t be afraid of good-byes; push yourself outside your comfort zone; trust your gut; be crazy, but not too crazy; and it’s ok to cry (That’s for mom and dad)!

Congratulations Class of 2018!

KWIBS - From April 23, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Barbara . Bush turned to her doctor in the last few days of her life. "You want to know why George W. is the way he is?" she asked.

The doctor looked a little surprised when she answered, "Because I drank and smoked when I was pregnant with him."

I’ve always admired the class of this woman and her family. She died at her home in Houston on Tuesday surrounded by the ones she loved.

George W. Bush said on Wednesday that he spoke with Mrs. Bush by telephone shortly before her death to tell her he loved her, and she replied that she loved him too.

The Bushes had celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary in January, making them the longest-married couple in presidential history.

As the wife of the 41st president and the mother of the 43rd, George W. Bush, Mrs. Bush was only the second woman in American history to have a son of hers follow his father to the White House. (Abigail Adams, wife of John Adams and mother of John Quincy Adams, was the first.)

She was born Barbara Pierce on June 8, 1925, at a maternity hospital in New York City run by the Salvation Army principally for unwed mothers. The family obstetrician practiced there one month a year, and that month happened to be June. She was the third child of the former Pauline Robinson and Marvin Pierce. Her father was in the publishing business and eventually became president of the McCall publishing company. Her mother, the daughter of an Ohio Supreme Court justice, was active in civic affairs in Rye, N.Y., the New York City suburb where the family lived.

One of Mrs. Bush’s distant relatives was Franklin Pierce, the 14th president of the United States.

Can you imagine being the first lady and the mother of a former president? Her life was so interesting and she carried herself so well. God rest her soul.

 

KWIBS - From April 16, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Some days you’re hot, some days you’re not. I’m talking about Spring.

In a short week we’ve seen temperatures ranging from a low of 17 degrees to a high of 95 degrees!

I know that I am growing older when I get concerned about my pear and peach trees. One day they had beautiful blooms on them, the next day they were gone.

I sort of jumped the gun on spring and spring made sure she told me who was boss. Saturday evening I noticed that we were dropping below freezing. I ran around and unscrewed garden hoses and attempted to drain out some pumps I had prepared for some controlled burns I was helping with. Somehow in the late night hours, I missed one drain plug.

On the day before we were going to burn some brush piles, I went and fired up the pump. As soon as it started, I knew something was terribly wrong. I was soaking wet and was getting wetter. When I realized my pump casing was broken and spraying me with water, I shut it down.

? ? ? ?

Thursday’s forecast was 94 degrees!!! I’m pretty sure it got there and in preparation for it, I ditched my socks and put on my lake shoes that morning.

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I can’t stand shoes and wearing socks. I think I only own like three pairs of socks and two pairs have holes in them. I don’t know why I hate wearing shoes, but I always say, "my toes freak out." I also hate wearing pants. That sounds strange, but I am more comfortable in a pair of shorts! Thursday afternoon was my first official day back in shorts!

By Saturday, my disappointed toes were back in socks as the weather plummeted into the 40s. I also had to put my pants back on.....

 

KWIBS - From April 9, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

"What’s your password grandpa?"

My Granddaughter Baylee asked me that question on Tuesday.

I was busy making an ad for a customer and I nearly blurted it out.

I told her I couldn’t tell her what my password was. That’s always a mistake because it leaves the conversation wide open.

She asked, "Well, why not?"

I explained that it was a secret and I could not tell her. I didn’t even know what password she wanted. It could have been to my Snapchat or Facebook account. Heck, it could have been nuclear codes. It didn’t matter. I was in a full-blown conversation about security with a five-year-old.

There are sticky notes all over my desk with log-ins and passwords to different accounts. It’s probably good that she can’t read or comprehend what I am doing or the entire newspaper could be jeopardized.

Then it was, "What’s this gray box?"

Might as well make a column out of this.

It was my computer.... Now she is staring at the screen as I write this column. It’s sort of entertaining for me to watch her watch me do this. She seems really interested. Maybe she’ll be the future editor.

Nope. Now she’s digging in my trash as I write.

She grabbed the trash and said, "I am going to work on this in my office," and she darted out.

One thing is for darned sure. She’s very distracting. I mean cute and entertaining. She wasn’t gone but a few seconds.

The next question was, "What time is it, grandpa?"

I almost answered, "Time to get out of my office," but instead I told her it was 3:10 p.m.

"Oh! That’s when I have to go to work," she exclaimed!

And that’s when I said it.

"Then get your butt to work," I said firmly.

This conversation ended with her looking at me and saying, "You’re not the boss. Grandma is the boss!"

 

KWIBS - From April 2, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Anyone that knows Ronda and I very well, know that we love live music. Our first official date was at a concert in 1985. It was Metallica and Ozzy Ozborne!

A guy I met recently posed a question to me and asked, "Who is a band you haven’t seen yet that you would say would be a bucket-list item?"

I had a really tough time answering that question. We’ve seen so many concerts in the last 30 years that my bucket-list is full! My favorite band of all time has to be the Eagles.

This band brings back memories of my childhood. You’ve got that one band that you always turn up the radio when they come on. This one is mine. It might sound silly, but if you love music like I do, you know how it moves the soul. I love all kinds of music from bluegrass to heavy metal. It’s all good except for rap music. I just can’t do it. It’s painful to listen to. I must be getting old because I have caught myself telling my kids their rap music is terrible, too loud and to turn it off.

I always watch the upcoming concert alerts for anything from Kansas City to Dallas to see if there’s a concert sneaking up that I want to reserve seats for. Back in December of last year, I saw that former Eagle Don Felder, REO Speedwagon, and STYX were performing at Hartman arena. One of Ronda’s favorite bands is REO Speedwagon, so I bought us tickets for the March 25th show in Park City. Keep in mind, we buy tickets early to get the best seats possible.

A few weeks back some friends called and said they had two extra tickets to the Eagles at Sprint Center in Kansas City for Monday, March 19. Even though it was a week night, I could not pass up seeing my favorite band and jumped at the chance, sort of forgetting I had the March 25th show already booked.

If you grew up in the 60s-80s, you probably know the words to most every famous Eagles’ song written. At least I do. My parents listened to the Eagles and I fell in love with them from a very early age. We’ve seen them 4 times in the last 24 years. A lot of people don’t realize that the most recent line up is not the original band. Only Don Henley and Glenn Frey were original members up until Frey’s death in 2016. You still have the familiar Joe Walsh on guitar and vocals and Timothy B. Schmidt on bass and vocals, but this line up only performed together for two years before breaking up in 1980 for 14 years. It was then that they put differences aside and reformed that line up. Earlier performers included Bernie Leadon, Randy Meisner and Don Felder, who was famous for his song "Hotel California" along with over 17 tracks he contributed during his time with the Eagles.

Glenn Frey and Don Felder had had enough of each other in 1980. At a concert in Long Beach, California for Senator Alan Cranston on July 31, 1980, known as the "Long Night at Wrong Beach", things hit breaking point when the animosity between Felder and Frey boiled over before the show even began. Felder recalls Frey telling him during "Best of My Love," "I'm gonna kick your a** when we get off the stage." After the concert, Felder smashed, according to Frey, "his cheapest guitar". The Eagles disbanded shortly thereafter.

In 2016, the day after Frey's death, Felder told the Associated Press that he felt an "unbelievable sorrow" when he learned about Frey's death. "I had always hoped somewhere along the line, he and I would have dinner together, talking about old times and letting it go with a handshake and a hug."

Joining the Eagles in Kansas City was Glenn Frey’s son, Deacon. This kid sounds just like his dad and is only 22 years old. Also joining the Eagles was one of my all-time favorite guitarist and vocalist Vince Gill.

If you were paying attention to my long and drawn out Eagles’ history lesson, we went to see the Eagles on Monday and then saw Don Felder the following Sunday with REO and Styx. We got a double dose of the Eagles. I was in music heaven!!

I did not realize that Don Felder would basically do most of The Hotel California album at this concert. I assumed I would be subjected to music that I had never heard from his post Eagles career. I was pleasantly surprised that I was wrong.

I believe we witnessed rock and roll history last week. I didn’t even tell you how good REO Speedwagon and STYX were.

So, I really don’t have a bucket-list for concerts anymore. I just have the same old desire to see the ones I love.

An interesting side note: the Eagles play in Tulsa on June 17. That’s our 30th anniversary. We can’t make it though because we have one of our new favorite bands playing for our anniversary! I also bought us tickets to Metallica for March of 2019!

"Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." - Plato

 

KWIBS - From March 26, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

It’s interesting to note that our newspaper has a few famous "subscribers."

One such subscriber is Former Kansas Congressman Mike Pompeo. Mr. Pompeo’s career has really blasted off in the past few years. After President Trump was elected, Pompeo rose the ranks of director of the Central Intelligence Agency. Recently, he’s President Trump’s pick for replacing Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State.

I met Mike Pompeo at the Grand Hotel several years ago and then he stopped into our office shortly after that. I kind of wished I had taken a photo with him now. A few weeks after that visit he subscribed to the newspaper.

Now I doubt he probably has time to read this, but I did note that Mr. Pompeo was a very interesting person. He graduated first in his class from the United States Military Academy at West Point. He was also a Gulf War veteran with the 2nd Squadron, 7th Cavalry in the 4th Infantry Division. That’s impressive. I found him polite and intelligent. I also remember after meeting him that I forgot to ask his party affiliation. It didn’t seem important to me at the time. I liked him and I liked what he had to say about rural America and he had my vote.

He’s obviously had the same impression on our president and is being trusted as one of the top people in his administration.

If by some crazy chance Mr. Pompeo is reading my newspaper, I want to congratulate him and thank him for serving his country in this capacity. I would think Secretary of State would be the hardest job you could ever have, next to President of the United States.

Somehow, I don’t quite picture him with his feet up on his desk with The Gyp Hill Premiere spread open.

From my limited knowledge of him and first impressions, I believe Mr. Pompeo will do the right thing for our country in these perilous times. I trust him to make decisions to keep us safe and to promote America’s interests throughout the world.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 19, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

The community woke Saturday morning to the sad news of Ron Fincher’s passing.

I ran into the office and pulled my column off the page, so that at the very least, we could share our condolences with Brett and Kim and all the folks at Finchers Findings. We don’t yet know when his services will be, but we will try to update everyone on Facebook.

Ron was a friend to all of us in town and he will be greatly missed.

KWIBS - From March 12, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

While the kids were growing up, I did the typical dad thing (relived my childhood through them). Ronda was the nurturer and often nurse. I was the, "hey, let’s buy the kids gokarts, motorcycles and BB-guns!" kind of dad.

Both Breeann and Joey had multiple motorcycle and gokart injuries. By the time Nicholas was born, I was no longer able to play with the children per mom-orders.

I watched once as Joey drove his first motorcycle through a 2 railed, 2"x6" fence at 30 mph.

The most interesting part of that story is that he was 4-years-old. I had taught him how to balance on a bike, rolling down a hill without training wheels just 1 week earlier. Any good dad knows that that is enough experience to put an engine under him and let him ride. Right?

You think I’m that irresponsible? Come on.

I put a helmet on him, gloves and a leather coat and even some goggles over his eyes. There. Feel better about me now?

My mission was to do the same as I had with his older sister: Tie a rope around the motorcycle and let him go slowly at first until he got the hang of it.

I remember how mad my wife was at me when I came home with this motorcycle. I had rolled through Mullinville, KS on my way home from a job one day and some guy was selling these motorcycles on the side of the road, so naturally I stopped.

After I threw my money at him and he helped me load it up in my truck, I drove home with visions of my "father of the year trophy" all shiny on my desk.

I got it home and unloaded it. I polished it up as my wife stood there shaking her head and telling me how bad of an idea this was.

What did she know about "fathering"?

Now here we were. Father and his son were about to make history. It was like Evel Knievel’s first jump over 30 buses. I explained the brakes, the gas, the inner-workings of compression and torque to my 4-year-old and said, "When you’re ready, squeeze the gas and I’ll be right behind you."

So I thought.

This kid took off like a pro-motocross racer from the gate and ripped the rope right out of my hand. I busted after him at my slightly-slower than Olympic running speed, screaming, "Let off the gas!"

That’s 4-year-old language for "give it more gas" apparently, as he went shooting towards a barbed wire fence at the end of our yard. He was a good 20 yards in front of me. I was yelling, "Stop! Brakes! Jump off! Jesus, this is a good time for the rapture!" along with other explicits, when suddenly he took a sharp left hand turn and plowed through the wooden fence along our driveway.

It was over in about 10 seconds and he was on the ground with the motorcycle on top of him, still running, back wheel spinning. He still had the throttle gunned.

I ran over, shut off the bike and lifted it off of him. I could see his wide-eyed stare through his fogged up goggles. He was breathing. I picked him up gently and asked him if he was ok and that’s when the tears machine turned on. He started crying. I was like, "sssshhhh, you’re ok, you’re fine. Don’t alert your mom..."

Too late. She was out the door and sprinting towards us. It looked like she was investigating the crash scene, but I think she was actually looking for broken parts of the motorcycle to pick up and hit me with.

The motorcycle was broken. There was a fender a few yards away, a couple of broken boards that Chuck Norris couldn’t have Karate kicked through any better, and the front wheel was now smashed into the engine of the new motorcycle that had less than 5 minutes of run time on it.

I nervously said, "I bet the warranty doesn’t cover that!"

My wife was not having it. She took Joey inside to clean him up. He amazingly didn’t have a scratch on him.

I took the bike down to the shed and heated up the frame and forks and got it bent back into riding condition.

Although I was told that I could not let him ride it again until he was older and ready, Joey was ready to try again within a few days. I had a better understanding of how tight to hold the rope and he had a better understanding of the throttle control. In time, he became an excellent rider and this first crash prepared him for many more to come.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 5, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

I sat patiently with Bree on Saturday morning as she learned how to do corrections and the final stages of the newspaper before it went to press.

"Grandma finds all these mistakes?" she asked.

I explained that there has probably never been a more thorough person as a "copy editor" for any small town newspaper the size of ours.

My mom has always been a huge part of the newspaper making process. Most people don’t even realize that before you get the paper, she’s already read it from top to bottom.

Of course, with a crew like this one, she can’t possibly catch every mistake. I bet she’s pretty darn close to perfection. Many of the mistakes you might find happened after she had proofed the newspaper. They were usually last minute changes.

Now it might seem weird to honor her for her birthday with a story like that, but my mom has been a bigger part of my adult business life, than my childhood - at this age and stage of the game.

And there is no way to hide a birthday greeting from my mom (unless I don’t have it proofread)!

My mom is turning 75 years-young on Wednesday, March 7, 2018. That’s a cool accomplishment!

I could have used my space to tell funny stories about her like the time she took my sister and I to Century II in Wichita to an event. She got lost and ended up on the grounds sidewalks in our car. We kept telling her she wasn’t on a road and we were sure she was driving on the sidewalks, but she insisted she was until we ran over a garden hose.

I love you mom. Thanks for always being here to help me.

Happy 75th Birthday!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 26, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Quietly and with little to no fanfare, my youngest son left the age of teenager and turned 20 years old on Sunday, February 25.

For him, it’s kind of a big deal. He’s serving his country in Okinawa with the Marine Wing Support Squadron 172. In Okinawa, you only have to be 20 years old to buy an alcoholic drink, unlike being 21 in the states. I haven’t talked to him about it, but I bet he went out with some buddies and bought himself a drink because that’s sort of what Navy and Marine guys do.

This is Nick’s first birthday overseas. He spent his last birthday in training in South Carolina preparing to head to North Carolina for 14 weeks of Marine Combat Training. Oh what a difference a year makes.

As a dad, I wanted to be the one to buy him his first drink, but we’ve known for sometime that this would not be possible. I remember buying Joey his first beer on his birthday. We met in Great Bend, KS. Joey was going to school in Hays at the time. Nick and I can’t even meet half way for that first beer. Half way would be somewhere off the coast of Alaska in the Pacific Ocean.

Now, I’m not naive either. I know that I didn’t buy any of my kids their first drink, but I wish I could have ceremonially at least.

Instead, I bought him a guitar and shipped it to him. I expected it to take 4 weeks, but it took less than a week, so he got it a little early!

The funny thing is, the next time I see Nick, he still won’t be old enough for me to buy him a drink! That’s kind of funny.

Happy Birthday Nick! It’s a day late in print and probably three weeks before you’ll even read this, but know that I love you, I’m proud of you and hope you have the best birthday ever!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 19, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

I’m not a real man. I’m just a big baby. That’s how I felt while suffering through the latest plague to strike our area. It was just the flu, but it felt like much worse than H1NDeath-whatever-it-was....

I kept waiting for a cart to roll by my house with a driver wrapped up in linens and a mask shouting, "Bring out your dead!"

Well, I didn’t die. I wanted to a couple of times. I thought maybe Ronda was going to put a pillow over my head, but she didn’t want to be anywhere near me.

For the record, I know she loves me and takes the entire "in sickness and in health" to heart, but I’m a better caretaker than she is.

When she’s sick, I take charge. I cook, attempt at cleaning (no where near her standards), bring her drinks, soup, medicine, take her temperature, place ice packs on her head, etc.

When I’m sick she’s like, "I’m going to Wichita today shopping with my cousin and let you rest!"

No kidding, but sort of kidding.

She’d had about enough of me and my coughing and moaning and she did go shopping and have a girls’ day so I could "rest" as she put it. She did deserve to get away from me for a little while. This stuff was on its 5th day by the time she needed to get out of the toxic relationship. By toxic, I meant contagious.

I surprised her with a nice dinner though. I actually got up, grilled some steak and made jalopeno poppers wrapped in bacon and even roasted sweet potatoes.

By Sunday morning, I was feeling like I was over the hump. I wasn’t really ready to go to church or back to work, but I could at least bend over and pick up my own tissues off the floor.

We decided that a good way to pass the rest of that day was to watch some movie on Netflix. I didn’t really care and started flipping until she yelled, "Beauty and the Beast!"

I figured, meh, ok. I clicked it and expected to be asleep within a few minutes. It was a 2 hour movie redone recently on the basis of the Disney cartoon that from 1987-2008 I had watched more than 100 times with my daughter Breeann. I had also cut my teeth on VHS repair during those years when the machine had eaten the movie and my daughter would break out into tears.

Well, I didn’t sleep because I knew the words to every song, "Be our guest! Be our guest! Put our service to the test!"

"No one's slick as Gaston. No one's quick as Gaston. No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's. For there's no man in town half as manly. Perfect, a pure paragon! You can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley. And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on..." and so-on.

This was ridiculous.

At one point Belle had to leave the Beast and rescue her father. I was like, "Am I crying?"

Dear God, this is not a sensitive moment I’m having is it? It had to be the Robitussin.

Maybe it was a combination of both, but I was choked up and sobbing a few times. It wasn’t the movie. It was the thought that I still had 1 hour and 45 minutes of this to go!

Seriously, I thought about how cute Breeann was as a little girl always wanting to watch Beauty and the Beast or The Little Mermaid. It brought back some great memories.

I’m such a baby....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 12, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

It’s a dance that nobody likes to dance to, or likes the song. It’s only interesting to watch others "dance".

It might be a terrible analogy, but that’s what happens in our court systems. The back and forth of motions, responses, petitions and the grueling slow grind of the legal wheel is often maddening.... but entirely necessary.

Our society has one of the finest judicial systems in the world, if not the best. If not understood, on the outside, it looks like a cluster of unorganized chaos. All of it has purpose for fairness and accountability for each side, whether it be for the plaintiff or the defendant.

I’ve had the miserable honor of covering the events of the Steven Myers’ death on October 6, 2017. With each court filing, I try my best to put it into plain English so that you can process it.

Every motion, memorandum or rulings are just small pieces of a complex process that our community must go through to get to the end.

My heart breaks when I think about what everyone has gone through in this difficult situation: The family and friends of Steven Myers, The Sheriff’s Department and all of the deputies, the EMS crews and the people of Sun City and Barber County - all wanting answers.

I wear so many hats at times: newspaper, bondsman, lawn mower, janitor.... Today my job is simply to present you with the most current information, without inserting my opinion. I hope I do that, while honoring this process of law.

My hope is that we soon heal as a county and community; that we are safe and that there is justice - in what form, I do not know.

KWIBS - From February 5, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

She’s been one of my kids over the past year and it is sad to see her go, but I’m happy for her.

Jessica Wright is moving to greener pastures - or hallways of chaos, either way you look at it.

Jess is going to the Grade School to work as a Para. It goes along well with her decision to go back to school and get a degree in teaching.

I’m super-proud of the work she did for us for almost a year now. Next to me, she’s probably one of the fastest at assimilating information for exportation (from her pen to your eyes).

What will I miss most about Jessica? My morning greetings. I can’t write about them, but she totally understands what I’m talking about.

When I say she’s like one of my own kids, I mean it and she has been. I’ve had to give fatherly advice, which just like my real kids is taken with a grain of salt; I’ve had to criticize her work, getting the too often eye-roll; and I’ve had to call her occassionally to ask, "Where are you?" She knew just how hard and how much to push my buttons before I would either snap or laugh.

But seriously folks, Jess has been great to work with and I wish her the best of luck!

? ? ? ?

Breeann (AKA Bree) comes to us as green as green can be. She’s not written anything that I can remember since her, "I will be home by my curfew" story, which was actually just a sentence written 30x on a piece of notebook paper in high school.

So far, she’s picking things up and is figuring out the routine. I don’t expect her to get a Pulitzer anytime soon, but with some practice, she’s going to be a great addition to The Gyp Hill Premiere. She will introduce herself next week.

Along with Bree, we get our Granddaughter Baylee for half the day in the office. Baylee is currently finishing her degree in pres-school, so she only goes half days. Her afternoon office is across the hallway from mine, so every few minutes she brings me her "work." I get yards of adding machine tape with random numbers on them. I usually fantasize that it’s my bank account balance. I also get lots of drawings of bunnies, sunshine and trees - refreshing for this time of year.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 29, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

One Tuesday afternoon back in early 1989, my dad took a trip to Missouri and left a space-filler for his column that said, "Will Return."

I was working as the pressman during those days and saw an opportunity to test my writing skills. They were pretty terrible and my dad was pretty mad when he came back and saw that I had written KWICK KWIBS, Jr. as a guest writer.

He let me continue to write, but then eventually sold the newspaper and moved to Missouri. I hope that wasn’t an indicator at how badly my first columns were, but I was able to keep the column for another six months or so, before it got axed by the new owners of the Index. I continued working there for about another couple of months before Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere.

I was always involved in the newspaper business. I had my diapers changed there, I grew up and played there. I swept the floors there and eventually ran a press there. I miss those days at the Index and I miss those folks I worked with.

A fun little history lesson about this column.

One day several years ago Doris found a snippet my dad wrote in February of 1976, "I have been toying with the idea of starting a personal column for the Index for the past three years," he wrote.

Dad was also "toying around" with the title KWICK KWIBS, Jr.

When we started our newspaper in 1991, my early columns were terrible, even worse than today. I know, you can’t believe it. I brought the name with me when Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere. Many people over the years have asked me, where the name came from.

Now, the column name "KWICK KWIBS, Jr" by my dad, Ron Noland, came from his father (my Grandpa Bill). In 1946 my Grandpa Bill bought his first newspaper, the Logan Republican. He started a column called "KWICK KWIBS".

Well, I’ve read some of my grandpa’s and dad’s early columns and I am glad to say that I come from a long line of some terrible writers! Seriously though, some of these columns were very well done and made me smile to think how far back my heritage in the newspaper business goes.

It dawned on me last week that my grandpa wrote KWICK KWIBS for 24 years. My dad wrote KWICK KWIBS, Jr. for 12 years and I have written KWIBS for over 27 years now. I’m the winner. Of what, I do not know.....

KWIBS, of some form, has been a part of Kansas newspaper history for close to 75 years now, with a few years of gaps in between. Possibly, there are over 3,000 columns with the name "KWIBS" on them.

So over the course of the last week, Jessica Wright has given Ronda and I notice that she’ll be leaving for a position at the grade school. She’s been great help and I have agonized over what to do to replace her. Jessica has a natural gift for writing and has really evolved over the last year.

It’s a struggle every business has - keeping employees for the long haul. Not everyone is a Doris Sorg who can put up with me for 17.5 years and then give several months notice that she was leaving. Only one other woman has chosen a longer path in life.... my wife! So far, she has not given me notice she is leaving!

I’m rambling here, but I will eventually get to my point.

We’re a small family owned newspaper. We’re a rarity by today’s standards. Most small town newspapers have been gobbled up by larger corporations and conglomerations of small chains. I’ve always dreaded that happening to a community, but finding the right person in a small town is really hard. Sometimes sharing those resources in a centralized location in rural Kansas makes sense. Don’t worry, we’re not heading there any time soon as far as I am aware. I have been actively seeking an employee. I had some excellent applications. Two of which I really wanted to hire, but for various reasons, I could not make a decision.

It takes a person who loves their community to write about it. It’s easy to write the controversial news. It’s a lot harder to cover the good news. Human nature makes it that way. More people want to read about crime and chaos than the successes and accomplishments of a community. Let’s be honest, we all turn to the courthouse news first and then go back and read the other parts of the newspaper.

It's been a mission statement for us to, "Report the good news about our community."

I always dreamed of one of my boys running the newspaper one day. That would make us 4 generations deep. I had floated that by Joey one day last summer and he said, "You’re job looks boring. No thanks." Personally, I think it’s a very interesting business, but I was not offended.

I’ve read many things that Nicholas has written over the years and he’s a very good writer, but the commute from Okinawa would be a deal-killer. If I paid 50 cents per mile it would be something like $7,500 a week in travel expenses, so he’s out. Maybe one day, like my father, he’ll return home from his service in the Navy and decide he wants to be in the business, but for now, he’s got a job near a beach, also near a crazy dictator that we’re all keeping an eye on.

It never occurred to me that Breeann might be interested. The thought of working with a family member who is so opinionated and stubborn and hard headed and moody, probably prevented her from ever asking me. Truthfully, we’re both very stubborn people who can be difficult to be around. We can get pretty frustrated with each other at times.

I mentioned, jokingly, to her that she should work her way into the family business. She was actually interested. I think for a split second, I was scared I had mentioned it, but then I thought back to when my dad let me write that second column. He probably didn’t want to at the time. Can she write? Well, probably as well as I did when I first started. She might be even better. I had her write me a little story about something she knew about and she did a pretty good job. It’s writing about things you know nothing about that is harder.

We’re about to find out. I think it’s time. Her children are older and in school. She’s been a stay-at-home mom with only brief moments of employment, but a lifetime of being in the community. She’s smart and, hopefully, trainable. If she’s not, I know several choke holds. This will be a challenge for sure, but I think with a little time, she can be a great addition to our family newspaper. I hope you’ll encourage her in this endeavor. Please be patient with us while we work through the process of getting her involved and please pray for patience for me! Thank you to everyone who applied and expressed interest.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 22, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

Where do I begin?

As if adulting wasn’t hard enough, there’s also parenting.

Parenting, you’d think, would be the toughest, but Grandparenting is even more difficult.

Sunday morning I worked Pratt County for some bonding business and then grabbed some lunch. While at lunch, I got two more bonding calls out of Barber County. Then we got a phone call from our daughter needing a sitter for the grandkids that night.

As it worked out, I dropped off Ronda at the house and went in to assist some folks out of the Barber County Crossbar Hotel, as one of the defendants called it. Ronda suggested I pick up the grandkids on my way home.

Piece of cake.

The grandkids were excited to see grandpa. They grabbed what I thought was warm clothing and we headed out to the truck. By the time we got to grandma and grandpa’s I had discovered that one of my grandkids only had on a sweatshirt and the other had on cowboy boots, missing one sock.

Close enough.

By the time I had gotten home, I had answered about 178 questions ranging from, "why do turkeys make that sound" to what is "DNA"? I had an easier time explaining DNA.

When I pulled into the drive way, my granddaughter was asleep and missing one cowboy boot. I found the boot under the back seat, slipped it back on her naked foot and after I got her awake and stable, set her on the ground. I just wanted to get inside, get warm and get fed. I was exhausted from the 7 mile trip home.

The grandkids won’t eat anything at our house that isn’t either 100% sugar or simply chicken.

We were having steak, but I know to call it "chicken" no matter what we’re eating. I can still trick them into eating about anything if I just call it chicken.

"We’re having chicken tonight!" No, that’s chili, but they don’t seem to know the difference yet.

I have been known to put a tub of ice cream on the floor and two spoons and say, "get it" in place of actual food. I am told this is alright if you are a grandparent. Parents are not allowed to do this.

So we ate and still had a couple of hours to burn. I know what to do. Get balloons. Let’s of balloons!

Watching them blow them up and turn bright red in the face is wonderful. I know they are getting plenty of oxygen and working their lungs. It’s also a great cardio workout for them to run around and bop balloons in the air.

I don’t know about those two, but grandpa slept pretty good that night.

? ? ? ?

Monday both Ronda and Jess came down with a bug, leaving me the only healthy person in the office.

I told Jess to stay home, Ronda insisted on working. She lasted about two hours and left me in charge.

Alone. Sorry if you called and I didn’t answer. It was hectic.

I was chugging along pretty well. We were busy since Monday was a holiday and everyone seemed to not mind braving the cold weather. It was an unusually busy Tuesday.

Before Ronda left at noon she asked me to make the deposit. I thought that would be easy enough. She did all the work. All I had to do was walk it over to the bank.

After 3 hours of customers and phones ringing, I finally made it to the bank, but I think I missed the cut off. Thankfully, I think I had enough in there to cover checks. If not, I’m probably going to get fired.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 15, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t know who’s in charge, but I was promised global warming which included polar ice caps melting and Manhattan underwater by 2014. It’s cold and I don’t like it.

Congratulations to the Conservation District Bankers Award Winners! We appreciate all you do!

KWIBS - From January 8, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

I made what seemed like the longest trip to town I’ve made in decades Tuesday morning. It was the end of "Christmas Break" for Ronda and I.

We still had a few days left with Nick before he left for Japan on Friday morning.

We were pretty quiet driving in. We were not really looking forward to going back to work, not even knowing where to begin 2018. We might have even been a little grumpy.

Ronda started laughing when we got to the Assembly of God sign. It read, "Don’t be mean in 2018."

It made me laugh too and then I started in.

"I will also not be green or a bean. I hope to be lean, but not have a lien. I keep my motor clean in my full steam space machine. I’m trying to be less obscene since I’m not longer a preteen or even sixteen. Speaking of, did I mention my home economics teacher in high school was named Charlene? I’ll try to remember this summer to use sunscreen unless they come out with some crazy anti-sunburn vaccine. I was hoping to jump on a trampoline inside a submarine dressed as a wolverine. I am also wanting to keep my spleen at least until Halloween - all in 2018!"

Thanks Rodney for being our local sign comedian and turning me into "Dr. Seuss" last Tuesday morning.

? ? ? ?

So I want to give a big shout out and a big thank you to a couple of guys who have served this city well for several years. Norm Clouse and Mike Roe take their city council seats for one last moment tonight and then ride off into the sunset. Well, maybe not, but they are leaving the council. These guys were original movers and shakers. They took part in some unpopular, but necessary actions to improve the functionality of our city government. I applaud them for sticking it out and seeing things through. You guys are appreciated and we hope to be interviewing them soon as civilians!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 1, 2018 - By Kevin Noland

KWIBS - From December 25, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Wow! Today is Christmas, but you probably are reading this on Tuesday, December 26th or even later.

The holidays will sort of mess up our delivery schedules, but we will publish our weekly newspapers through the holidays.

I hope you had a Merry Christmas! It’s difficult to write about something that hasn’t happened yet and that you’ll read after the fact, but it is my wish that you had a joyful celebration with family and friends. .

I know of so many in our community that have experienced loss of family members around the holidays and it is my prayer that the Lord gives you peace, hope and love during this time of year. No one is immune to loss. In the last few years, our family has lost several family members. Within the last year we lost two uncles. In recent years we’ve lost Ronda’s grandma and my dad.

Ronda and I enjoyed looking through old family Christmas decorations a few weeks ago. She used them to decorate for our Christmas this year. It reflects over 30 years of Christmas together. The memories are the gifts that those who have passed leave us.

If it all worked out, we had our entire family together for Christmas this year. It would be the first time since 2015 since we were all home for the holidays.

I love getting Christmas cards with family photos. I’m terrible at sending them, but know that I enjoy seeing your families as they grow over the years. I’m planning on taking a good family Christmas photo this year and with any luck, I’ll make Christmas cards for next year!

Next week will be a recap of 2017. It will be an issue about our community’s successes and struggles. I love to reflect and find the positives in life during this time of year. I hope you will take time to remember 2017. My prayer for our little town is that 2018 is the best year yet!

Have a blessed holiday and see you next year!

 

KWIBS - From December 18, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

In a few short days, my Christmas present to myself and my family will be here.

Yes, it’s selfish to buy yourself a gift, but this one is a doozy!

Our Son Nick is coming home from Okinawa, Japan for a couple of weeks! Perfect timing and much luck has made this trip possible. Nick is stationed with the Marine Air Wing 172 Firebirds there and serves with the ministry team as a Religious Program Specialist.

As it turns out, Nick’s current Chaplain is retiring and there will be a change in command that occurs over the holiday. The gap in between offered Nick the opportunity to come home, if all goes as planned. (Keep it down Rocketman).

If it all goes well, he’ll take the 20+ hour flight home beginning Thursday our time and arriving sometime Friday afternoon. He will actually leave on Friday morning, his time, and arrive Friday afternoon, our time. It’s confusing.

For the past six months, we had believed we wouldn’t see Nick until maybe Peace Treaty of 2018. So, needless to say, WE ARE EXCITED!!

Nick spent his last Christmas in Great Lakes, IL in bootcamp. It was not a special occasion for him or for us, but we are so grateful to have our entire family back together for Christmas this year.

Because of this special visit, our office hours will be somewhat sporadic over the holidays and for the week in between. We will be receiving our mail and checking our voice mail system and we have a drop slot in our door for you to drop things by over the holidays.

Thank you in advance for your patience!! We don’t plan any deadline changes, however, we will be in stores on Tuesday, December 26th and Tuesday, January 2nd due to the holidays falling on a Monday this year.

And we are at my favorite edition of the year! This is our Christmas newspaper and we always love sharing the kids’ letters to Santa each year. The kids are just too funny. I hope you enjoy them as much as we have.

And because of the season:

Matthew 1:20-23

Behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you will call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins."

Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: "Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Emanuel," which is translated, "God with us."

From our family to your family, we wish you a blessed Christmas. Love and cherish the time you spend with your family and friends and remember the true meaning of Christmas.

Merry Christmas Friends!

 

KWIBS - From December 11, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I’m going to weigh in on the news in my own special way this week.

John Conyers announced his retirement from Congress after several women came forward with sexual harassment charges against him. He’s 88 years old and the longest serving Representative in Congress. He’s endorsed his son to replace him.

The younger, Conyers, 27, would be a first-time political candidate. But he has already been connected to an ethics issue, according to the Detroit Free Press. In 2010, the congressman had to reimburse the Treasury Department $5,682 for his son’s misuse of a taxpayer-funded Cadillac Escalade, the paper reports. It seems to me, he’s perfect for the job, if he was able to use a Cadillac Escalade for $5,682..... The younger Conyers’s wife, Monica Conyers, was sentenced to more than three years in prison for taking cash in 2010, as a Detroit council member, to support a Houston company’s sludge contract with the city.

North Korea is still rattling a saber at us by launching more ICBMs into the sea of Japan. Normally, it would just be another day, but each time he does it, it makes me sick to my stomach because my son is attached to the Marines there and they will be the first to deploy in the event of a war.

Nick says, "I don’t care as long as I get to come home for Christmas. We can’t go to war until January 5th, 2018."

Of course he’s kidding. No one wants war. I’m proposing a simple solution to the issue.

The 2018 Winter Olympics are scheduled to be held in South Korea. I think we should have a competitive javelin toss between North and South Korea. At each other....

Speaking of the Olympics.... The Russian Olympic Committee was suspended on Tuesday from the 2018 Winter Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea over the 2014 Sochi doping scandal. I propose that we have a special competition just for the Russians. "Vodka Shots!"

And finally....

The Supreme Court wrestled with a clash between religious freedom and LGBT rights on Tuesday as it heard arguments from a Colorado baker who refused to make a cake to celebrate a same-sex couple's marriage because he believes that God designed marriage to be between a man and a woman..

While I agree with the baker, I also understand that you can’t discriminate in the market place. However, you can make an awful cake.....

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 27, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

People get pretty "bold" when it comes to Facebook and comments. With the recent updates in information concerning the officer involved shooting in Sun City on October 6, 2017, many folks have taken to the internet to express their anger and opinions over the death of Steven Myers - Mostly towards law enforcement, but even towards how we reported last week’s court motions and responses.

The facts will come out. It’s a long process. We printed the story on the motion and response in last Monday’s Gyp Hill Premiere. I did not, however, pull quotes about statements that were heard on the videos.

In my opinion, it’s far too early and irresponsible to quote a civil attorney for the family on what he interprets after watching the videos and then going on all the TV news stations to blast our local law enforcement, but this is just not a good situation. Someone died and it tarnishes the respect we need to have for law enforcement. Don’t take this as being insensitive, but we’ve sort of forgotten that this all started with a person who became drunk, went and got a shotgun, and made threats.

Please don’t think in any way that I support use of force as the only option in dealing with Mr. Myers, but be careful believing 100% of what a lawyer wants you to know in the very early stages of an investigation, especially when you know he’s preparing a multi-million-dollar lawsuit against our county and that will line his pockets. I wasn’t there. The attorney wasn’t there and as far as I know, most of you were not there either.

What we need to remember is Myers leaves behind people that cared about him. Appropriate care should be given to his family if there is fault found. I express my condolences. It’s very sad and I wish I didn’t even have to address it, but I hate seeing this play out on Facebook news feeds. Myers’ death is already being commercialized in a sickening way.

We also need to remember our actions from the past in situations that involve investigating of the actions of law enforcement. We’ve forgotten that within days of an accusation, a special prosecutor was appointed by our county to investigate Sheriff Justin Rugg for allegedly committing domestic battery against his wife in December of last year.

The same has been done for this case and the Attorney General’s Office is investigating this issue.

I’m very qualified and unafraid to bring this up because I know Justin and his wife very well. The nearly 8 month long investigation cost Sheriff Rugg the election and tarnished his wife’s reputation at her job. It also cost our county a good deal of money investigating it.

I believe it is important to investigate this incident as rigorously as we did an alleged domestic battery - which resulted in no charges being filed. In the end, hopefully, the truth will be known and justice will be served. I also believe it is important to let investigators and prosecutors do their jobs, unimpeded by public opinion - including mine. We will do our very best to be fair in reporting on this story, which has been forced into the spotlight by what appears to be an inevitable lawsuit.

 

KWIBS - From November 13, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Wednesday morning we received notice of the winners of the write-in campaign for city council.

By as much as a 5-1 margin, Matt Forsyth, Elisa Stone and Ron James will take a seat at the City Council in January.

It was a particularly interesting election given that voters had to write-in their names. With a 26% voter turn out, it was a nail biting evening on Tuesday. No information was available until mid-morning on Wednesday and my phone was blowing up.

I want to thank Amy Sill for keeping me up to speed on the progress at the Clerk’s Office.

Now we can move on to something that hasn’t been discussed much since the write-in campaign started. Mike Roe and Norm Clouse have served the city of Medicine Lodge for 8 years on the council. They will be leaving with little fanfare.

Their decision to serve in the first place came with great sacrifice and whether or not you like what they’ve done during their terms, they have both served the city honorably. If you see either one of these guys, don’t forget to thank them for their many years of service to our community. They’re not done!

If anything, the election sparked more interest in our city government. Several who made last minute runs will hopefully keep themselves informed on what is happening in Medicine Lodge. I got to visit with at least one other write in who did not win and I believe this person has a genuine interest. My hope is that instead of watching Facebook for fake news and information about our town, they will, in fact, educate themselves on issues concerning the operations of the city.

I can be biased in this situation, because I do get involved and I can provide factual information. Our city operates on the up and up and we have good, honest people at the helm. Thank you all for voting and doing your part to keep Medicine Lodge alive and well.

KWIBS - From November 6, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

In the 1970s, I grew up in a country that referred to Viet Nam as a "conflict". It was taught in school and ingrained in our studies. It was later in my life that Viet Nam was called what it actually was, a "war". It was fought by brave men and women who were not remembered like the veterans of WWI or WWII.

People had grown tired of war by the 1960s. Some were simply cowards who did not love our country enough to fight for it, whether there was a draft or not. They directed their hatred towards those who served.

It breaks my heart to hear of accounts of disrespect towards the men and women who served our country during this era. Some were wounded more severely by their own countrymen upon their return home than in the battle field.

We will celebrate Veterans Day on Friday. I’ve always felt this was one of the most important times of the year. I’m deeply moved by the service that people give to their country in the armed forces. Although I did not serve, I have the utmost respect for those who did and are serving. My dad was in the Navy during Viet Nam. His service actually had him in and around Cuba during a tense time with Russia. He later did joint missions with many countries in South America. He was a radio technician on a mine sweeper.

His Navy career is the reason I am now here writing this column. My dad was a Kansas native who met my mother in Rhode Island at a YMCA dance. As a result of that meeting, and later a marriage, I was born in 1969 in Providence, RI. When my dad’s time in the Navy was finished, we moved back to Kansas and I’ve never lived anywhere else.

It came full circle last year when my son graduated from MLHS and went into the Navy, a decision that I am very proud of. He is approaching his first year of service and is now stationed with the Marines on a base in Okinawa as an RP (Religious Program Specialist). His duties as a Religious Program Specialist might seem sort of unimportant, but after boot camp, Nick went through Marine Combat Training. He switched from "Blue" side Navy to "Green" side Navy. He is considered by his fellow Marines as one of their own. He trains, eats, sleeps and is in all practical measures, a Marine. In about a year he’ll have his FMF pin. The United States Fleet Marine Forces (FMF) are combined general and special purpose forces within the United States Department of the Navy that perform offensive amphibious or expeditionary warfare and defensive maritime employment. The Fleet Marine Forces provide the National Command Authority (NCA) with a responsive force that can conduct operations in any spectrum of conflict around the globe.

So, he’s not really just an assistant to a Chaplain. He’s a combatant. He owns the phrase, "We fight tonight." I pray that he never does.

On an average day when RPSA Nicholas T. Noland leaves the confines of his base heading to another, he is faced with protesters who spit, curse and throw things at his vehicle. When he first told me this, I couldn’t hardly believe him. Then he slipped me a video one day and I saw it for myself. The protesters are paid by China to harass our troops in Japan. It’s a poor attempt to demoralize our soldiers serving there. The irony of it to me is that if we weren’t there, the economy of Okinawa would collapse. I didn’t even mention how unstable the region is. Imagine if we left? The people of Okinawa rely on jobs on our bases and money that flows from our soldiers to local businesses. Japan relies on us to protect them from some of the craziest leaders in the world like the one from North Korea.

My point is pretty simple. Men and women who serve this great country deserve great respect, especially in their own country. I really feel obligated give honor to those who served in an "unpopular war" such as Viet Nam, but what war is popular?

Each Veterans Day our school district does a wonderful job honoring veterans in our community. They usually focus on honoring one era and this year is the Viet Nam war veterans.

We struggled this year to find a Viet Nam veteran who wanted to talk about their experience with the newspaper. Two actually cancelled and I totally understand. We’ve been honored in the past to hear Gary Dyke’s accounts of the war. He’s a wonderful man and a friend.

So since we’ve done Gary and we were turned down a couple of times, I turned to someone who I greatly respect, but I knew he would decline. I believe him to be one of the most honorable people I have had the privilege of meeting in my adult life. Major Bob Stutler agreed to share some of his thoughts about Viet Nam. I will tell you that he did turn me down at first. After he thought about it for a day, he agreed to write his own accounts. I sat in my office last Thursday and read his perspective on Viet Nam. Keep in mind, I’ve known Major Stutler for 10 years. I’ve heard his story. What he’s shared with the newspaper is just a glimpse of some of the things this man has seen and done. He didn’t write about all of the medals he’s received, including several Purple Hearts. I’ve seen his passion for our country. I’ve also seen his wounds and heard how he got them.

Take a moment to read his perspective on the front page.

Thank you Bob for sharing your perspectives on Viet Nam. Thank you to each and every veteran who made the choice to serve our country during peaceful times and during times of conflict and war. Thank you to my son, whom I miss every day with every fiber of my being. Thank you to my dad, who I miss and think about every day since he’s been gone; and especially on Veterans Day.

My hope is that there will never be another Viet Nam-like homecoming for our soldiers. I know that my children and my grandchildren will honor those who serve our country because of what they learn at school in our community. I can never imagine a protest against someone like my son, or like my dad, or like Bob.

I have many people who I consider friends that served in Viet Nam. I hope they know now that we honor them and thank them today and forever. We are not the America you came home to after the war and I pray we never are again. I have many friends who served in Iraq, Afghanistan and on bases in the United States and around the world. They are heroes and worthy of our respect and thanks.

Please attend the Veterans program at MLHS on Friday. Take a moment to thank these and all veterans for their service. We live free because of their what they’ve done in service.

Happy Veterans Day

 

KWIBS - From October 30, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda ran into my office last Tuesday with a 20 year old KWIBS column from November 3, 1997.

She had the evidence needed to close the case and accusations that we did not carve pumpkins with our children when they were young.

I probably lost you there, but last week our oldest son Joey did some "pumpkin carving" with friends and stated to me that, "It was my first time to carve pumpkins because we only painted pumpkins when we were young."

I knew we had carved pumpkins and we had also painted them. I remember making the switch to painting after we had an incident with a family of raccoons (that’s another column).

We also had one other issue after carving or painting. It has been resolved, but also verified. We had an issue with disposal of the pumpkins after Halloween. It seemed like the pumpkins sat around for a little too long after the holiday. Is Valentine’s Day too long to continue to display a pumpkin?

I regress....

Joey claimed it was his first time. He was mistaken. Here is the evidence.

From November 3, 1997’s edition of The Gyp Hill Premiere:

It was the scariest thing we had ever seen...

Last Wednesday evening Ronda and I brought home pumpkins for the kids to carve and decorate.

We started our project shortly after dinner. I carved out the faces with the careful guidance of our children Joey and Breeann (this was Pre-Nicholas. He was still in incubation and not born until February of 1998...). I made them "gut" the pumpkins. Traditionally, it’s the parent’s job to do the carving and clean up, not the actual "gutting". This job is designated for tiny hands that aren’t grossed out to have sticky stuff crammed up their fingernails.

It took the kids 20 minutes or so to completely get their pumpkins cleaned out and ready for the title of "jack-lanterns", but they just weren’t ready to be done with the traditional pumpkin carving. That’s when I had a great idea (at the time it was a great idea). Why not paint the pumpkins?!? This would add an artistic flair to an ancient tradition. They could paint faces and mustaches, eyelashes, lips or even beards on them. We got the paints down from the cupboards and gave the kids brushes and water and they went after it.

It was time to relax. The kids were being entertained and Ronda and I could enjoy some quality television. We had no interruptions for nearly an hour. This was pure bliss. Never before had I had such an innovative idea to keep the children busy with a fun project.

Then the true horror of Halloween hit our home.....

Joey came out of the kitchen (15 feet from where we were sitting) with paint from the tips of his fingers to his elbows and all over his school clothes.

I said, "don’t touch a thing!" I picked him up and took him straight to the bathroom. Whew! That was a close call. It wasn’t 30 seconds later that Breeann came out of the kitchen in the same condition.

I said, "don’t touch a thing!" I guided her in the direction of the bathroom. Children seem to need directions to the bath tub when they are so filthy they risk completely destroying a home environment.

After getting the children in a safe place we approached the pumpkin projects in the kitchen.

"OH MY GOD," we both shouted in terror!

The kids not only painted their pumpkins (entirely from bottom to top, including the stem), but they also got paint on the table, the wall, the chairs, the pictures on the walls, the ceiling, the refrigerator, the floor, the carpet, the dishwasher, the stove, a stained glass window, all of the vitamins on the counter, the lamp, the light, the back door, the sink (which is a good 15 feet away from where they were painting), the cabinets and cereal boxes.

Apparently they went VanGough on us. Instead of painting with brush strokes, they took a more modern splatter technique. They mixed every color together, which you realize makes black....

Ronda and I spent an hour mopping the floors and the ceilings (yes, we used the mop on the ceiling as well). It was quite difficult to get off, even though it was water soluble.

The entire time we were cleaning up the horrible mess we were laughing hysterically! How could we have been so stupid? That’s when Ronda reminded me that it was my idea to get the paints out and let the children be creative after carving pumpkins.

I put the painted/carved pumpkins out on the front walk that evening. It rained overnight. The pumpkins ended up a bright, shiny, clean orange the next morning....

Case closed Joey!

KWIBS - From October 23, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

It was "A Day to Remember," although it wasn’t. Well.. sort of..

Wednesday our oldest son Joey called and said he would be in Wichita that evening if we wanted to hook up for dinner. We were all about seeing him. Joey moved to Phillpsburg, KS a few months ago to work at one of the White’s Foodliner stores.

That’s a pretty far and away place, so we haven’t seen him much. Getting to meet up with him in Wichita was a great idea. It turned out that Joey and a friend had tickets to a concert for a band called "A Day to Remember."

Well, it was a day to remember, but not for the right reasons. On the way up, I was called to stop and write a bond in Kingman. It was a large bond and I spent a couple of hours writing it only to have the whole deal fall apart after some confusion between attorneys.

I called Joey to let him know we were running late because of the fiasco with the bond I was writing. It wasn’t a problem because he was about an hour behind too and would have to just meet us at the concert. Ronda and I pulled into Wichita and had enough time to grab a bite to eat and head to the Cotillion. We were just a few minutes late and called Joey from the parking lot. He and his friend met us at the box office.

When we walked in, an enormous sign read, "SOLD OUT." We waited around outside the show hoping that someone would be selling a pair of tickets, but finally left after an hour and a half. There was one nice kid who had one ticket that he was willing to give us, but we politely declined after not being able to figure out which one of us was going in and which one was staying in the parking lot! We had driven three hours to basically give our son a hug and then drive home.

It was worth it. It was a day to remember.

KWIBS - From October 16, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Well, it happened, most unexpectedly.

It started Monday and took me completely by surprise and I broke on Tuesday.

I had to put on pants.

Fall has arrived and the temperatures fell Monday afternoon. I’m just not a fan of cold weather. I want it to be 80-100 degrees all year long. That’s where I’m most comfortable, and in my shorts. I will stay in them as long as possible, but at some point the weather always wins.

Yes, I folded up my shorts and put them away...... for a about three days. I can handle being in shorts at 60 degrees and up, but any lower, and I break down.

If you see me in the summer wearing pants, it’s bad. Someone has died and I’m going to their funeral. There is no other reason for me to be wearing pants during that season.

Come to think of it, the Grim Reaper doesn’t wear pants at any time of the year. He’s probably got shorts on under that black robe, if anything at all.

Worse than having to put on pants, I had to put on socks too. I have CCFS (Chronic Claustrophobic Foot Syndrome) and my toes like to roam free inside my shoes or be barefoot, rather than be restricted by a knitted boot on my foot. I don’t know if that really is a chronic syndrome, but it should be and it sounds real.

My wife simply calls it being "crazy".

I can’t really explain in words why I freak out wearing socks, but if you’ve ever put tape on cats’ feet, that’s sort of how I feel for the first few days wearing socks. If you haven’t done the tape on the cat’s feet experiment, do it now and report back to me. If your cat has not been declawed, look it up on youtube.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 9, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

When I was a kid, all of my rock and roll idols were immortal. My first experience with losing one was when Elvis died. in 1977. I think I was in second grade when Brett Fincher came to school crying. When I heard the news, I think I cried too.

Since I’m a grown up now (jury is still out on this statement), I’ve experienced the loss of several of my favorite rock and roll artists. Half of the band of Lynyrd Skynyrd died in a plane accident in the same year that Elvis died. Keith Moon of The Who died a year later; Bon Scott of AC/DC in 1980; John Bonham of Led Zeppelin and John Lennon of the Beatles also died in 1980; Bob Marley in 1981; Randy Rhoads of Quiet Riot in 1982; Andy Gibb of the Bee Gees in 1988; Stevie Ray Vaughan in 1990; Freddie Mercury of Queen in 1991; Jerry Garcia of The Greatful Dead in 1995; another Bee Gee, Maurice Gibb in 2003; Johnny Cash in 2003; Ray Charles in 2004; Richard Wright of Pink Floyd in 2008; Michael Jackson in 2009; Lou Reed in 2013; David Bowie, Prince, and Glenn Frey of the Eagles in 2016. There were many more when I searched the internet. These just stood out to me.

Last week, we lost Tom Petty. I grew up on his music. The very first song I learned to play on guitar and sing was a Tom Petty song. For years I wanted to see him live. Before I could, my son Joey stumbled upon a concert at Madison Square Garden where he and a friend bought scalped tickets to Tom Petty. He ended up sitting very close to the stage and I was so jealous. It was just a few years ago, Ronda and I finally got to go see him play in Wichita. Sadly, he was in a sour mood after having much of his valuable guitar collections stolen a few days before his tour started.

Rest in Peace Tom and thank you for the music.

 

KWIBS - From October 2, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

If NFL players can’t come up with a better way to promote attention to "injustice" other than taking a knee during the National Anthem, then I can’t watch any more.

I won’t go on and on about being patriotic, but there is a time and a place for everything. Surely there is a better way for players to get their message out. Never before have I read so many divisive comments on social media concerning the flag and National Anthem.

Yes, America has its problems, but do you think this is drawing attention to those problems or creating more division among Americans? Have you been to another country with more freedoms?

Do I agree with President Trump’s statement concerning the NFL? No, I do not.... and just when you thought I was a Trump supporter....

At a political rally Friday in Alabama, Trump challenged NFL owners to fire any player who takes a knee during the National Anthem, saying owners should say, "Get that son of a … off the field right now. Out! He’s fired!"

That’s not a statement a sitting president should make about any subject. Teach by example. The NFL can whine about what the president said, or they can take a closer look in the mirror and remember a man named Tim Tebow.

His kneeling was considered a clash of faith vs. football. It had no place on the field according to many in the media and in Hollywood. That event caused a full blown national debate about religion and its place in sports.

The League has also had no problems in the past giving the thumbs down to activities that it feels are harmful to the NFL.

Back in August of 2016, Dallas police officers were shot and killed execution-style. The Cowboys wanted to honor them with a decal on their helmets. The NFL said no. They added that "there are so many wonderful, wonderful causes, the league has to be careful," - a statement by executive vice president Stephen Jones.

So, the NFL has no problem squashing someone’s freedom of speech when it comes to supporting fallen police officers, but they won’t stop a protest at their games during the National Anthem. I’m surprised they just don’t stop doing the National Anthem all together. It’s so divisive....

Justin Houston of the Kansas City Chiefs may have had the only logical reason to kneel before the game (but still during the National Anthem).

"People are complaining about kneeling and standing, but I feel like it’s pointless because it’s not changing anything," Houston said. "I feel like prayer changes everything, so I was praying before the game that we come together as one.

"What are we kneeling for? What is that going to change? It’s not going to solve anything. Prayer is power. So I believe if we pray together, the more we come together as one and we can make a change."

When I hear the National Anthem played, I think of soldiers protecting our country around the world. I think of my son serving with the marines. I think of the freedoms that I have because of people who were willing to serve their country, some of them sacrificing their very lives so that players can take a knee during the anthem at a NFL game.

Is it too much for us to teach our kids respect for one another? For the country? For our men and women in uniform? For the flag?

I don’t want politics in sports. When I’m choosing sides, it’s because of the teams playing. I’m not an insensitive deplorable. I’m an American trying to watch a football game. There’s nothing political about standing, taking off your hat and honoring our country for two minutes.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 25, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

It was a breath of fresh air to read all the positive comments on social media about the Community Improvement District project on Main Street and 281/160.

It is really looking sharp and I commend everyone who has had a part in this project. The new street lights, benches and points of interest markers look really sharp and very much accent our community’s rich history.

We’re fortunate to have so many things going on at once. If you look around town, several businesses, including The Gyp Hill Premiere, have taken advantage of Barber County Development’s Facade Grant Program. There is still time to make improvements and receive up to $1,000 in assistance to give your business a face lift.

Both the CID and the Facade Program came about from Barber County Development. I’d like to thank Jim Rowland for his leadership role in getting these projects off the ground.

The City of Medicine Lodge also deserves a big thank you! The new lights on Main Street also include a new sound system that will benefit the entire community for events like Peace Treaty and Junefest.

Jeff Porter gave me the tour of the sound system Tuesday afternoon before Indian Summer Days. I am impressed! For the past 26 years, the downtown sound system was located in my office and for each and every parade, David Colborn and I would run all over town trying to make things work. It was a patched up mess for years and without David’s help, I could have never kept it going. It was bitter sweet to see it come down (and leave my office!).

Finally, thank you Brett Edwards and crew for the terrific job on the front of the Premiere building!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 18, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

A few weeks ago, I was forced to endure an 8 hour continuing education class on being a bail bondsman.

Keep in mind, I’ve been doing this pretty successfully for 13 years now, have written better than 4,000 bonds, made more than 40 arrests and surrenders, but recent changes to the law forces me to take this education training.

The KBAA (Kansas Bail Agent Association) approached many of us in the industry about joining several years ago. I, along with many of my colleagues chose not to join.

Their sales pitch was, "You will be kept informed on pending legislation in our industry."

Little did I understand at the time, that their lobbyist would be introducing legislation that would require 8 hours of continuing education to be taught by, none other than, the Kansas Bail Agent Association.

So at $250 per class, they held approximately 9 classes this year with about 40 in attendance at each class. That’s about $90,000 in income generated annually.

Because I’m not a member, I can’t see where the money goes, but my local State Representative Kyle Hoffman was notified of this interesting situation. The KBAA represents less than 15% of compensated surety agents across the state and these classes are a big boost to their cause.

Hoffman was made aware of the changes to the law earlier this summer. He said he honestly didn’t read it that closely. I understand that a lot of things cross his desk, but this bill is extortion at its finest. The state has effectively set up a membership agency monopoly that profits solely from a law passed, that the KBAA introduced.

The law requires that only they can teach this class at a cost of $250 per person. If a bondsman or "compensated surety" does not take the class annually, the KBAA will notify the chief judge of the district and those not completing these hours will be removed from the authorized list of bondsman for the jurisdiction they serve in, no matter how long they have served.

I actually love to learn. I attended the education class in Hays on September 1st. Here’s what I learned.

- I was read the law concerning bonding in Kansas. No one there taught me to read. I’ve been doing it pretty well on my own for about 43 years. I’ve also read the laws concerning being a bondsman.

- You can fight the courts on forfeitures and win. You can especially count on winning if you use the KBAA’s attorney. And if you are a member, you get 1/2 off the hourly rate for representation. I have a problem with that. First, they are soliciting for a law firm and their association at a mandatory class; and secondly, if the court has a legitimate forfeiture, that’s my responsibility to either find the person and return them to jail or pay the forfeiture as agreed. Anything else is unethical and dishonest.

The attorney who spoke finished his speech with much foul language, disrespect for judges and county attorneys and then proceeded to throw T-Shirts and beer coozies into the audience. For a minute, I thought I was at a terrible time share conference. I caught a beer coozie though.

- In the second session, I learned how to trick police officers if I want to commit a crime. I don’t even want to go there.

- In the third session I watched in horror as bondsman after bondsman disrespected a 6 term sheriff of Ellis County by whining and complaining about their phone systems and the way they allow bondsman to write in their jails and commons areas. I felt sorry for this guy. He was there to talk about ethics and instead answered questions about 800 number calls and fights between competing bond companies in his jurisdiction.

- In the final session a representative from the National Bail Association told jokes about the male anatomy. He also made fun of people who had been in trouble with the law and how he was fighting to keep our industry alive and well. He might have said some important things about our industry, but I was already so angry to have been forced to be there, I was no longer interested.

This is what’s wrong with government. Money buys lobbyists, who convince our legislating bodies to pass laws that force people to fund these lobbyists who pass bills to keep their jobs. Our representatives don’t even seem to read these laws or understand them before passing them.

How horrifying would it be if Kansas Press Association passed a law that said if I didn’t take an 8 hour journalism class, I could no longer print a newspaper?

So, where was the education I was paying for? Since it was at a country club, as soon as the class ended, I went up and got a drink at the bar.

Drain the swamp from the bottom up....

KWIBS - From September 11, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Nick has been gone for a couple of months now. We talk several times a week, but he’s so busy and with a 14 hour time difference, we have a difficult time matching up our schedules.

He asked me, "Hey, you know... uhm... you could send me a package or something. Other people are getting stuff from home...."

I didn’t really understand. I sent all the stuff he asked for two months ago and then like a ton of bricks, it hit me. He misses home and familiar things.

I am such a dope .... All through boot camp and "A" school, I sent him packages and letters, but after he got to his job, I just stopped.

So he needed some documents mailed to him and wanted a couple of items from home. This was the perfect opportunity for me to make his day. I scurried around to make him a "care package" Tuesday.

I discovered something. Dads really aren’t that good at making care packages, but I did my best. I don’t bake cookies, but I grill a lot. You can’t really send someone a steak that takes 10 days to arrive. It would be cold by then. I drove all over town and stopped at several businesses to buy him some little items. He got some beef jerky, peppermints, a candle and my favorite set of headphones that he always used when he was home. His mother included a cute card with a hand drawn picture of Kansas and put "Mommy miss you" inside it. I wrote a note on the card that said mom’s picture looked like "the bat signal..." She might be a spy for North Korea. I wouldn’t trust her.

He also got some cute hand drawn messages from his niece and nephew that were considerably better illustrations than his mother’s. :)

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 4, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

There are times when I think we should scrap the English language and just go with whatever my 4-year-old granddaughter makes up.

"I want to go to the restranaut!" I think this is a place for astronauts to eat, but I can’t be for sure.

"I wanna go wiff you at grandma’s house." Assuming she means that she wants to go where I also live, she either wants to go there to see grandma or smell me.

"Grandpa, my teacher’s name is Mrs. Bologna!" I learned it’s actually Mrs. Maloney. Her loss....

"My mom made sketti for supper." I think this is the female version of the yetti. They are definitley meaner and better cooks.

Baylee spent some time in our office after school on Tuesday. Translation: I can’t get anything done because I’m being bombarded with questions.

While I’m trying to register for a class and book a hotel room she’s asking questions like, "What’s that screen do? Why do you type so fast? Grandpa what’s in this cup (spills cup). Who is bigger, you or grandma?

My brain can only respond with, "Go ask your grandma questions!"

But she continues, "Grandpa, what are you doing? Why are you doing that? How long are you doing that? Grandpa, why are you putting headphones on and drinking bourbon for lunch?"

And why do we always lie to little kids? I always thought of myself as a relatively honest person, until it comes to my kids and grandkids. I’m honestly shocked at how much I lie to my grandkids. Can you really even trust that statement?

"You can’t eat that popsicle in here because your brain freezes faster inside. Go outside and eat it, but not on the concrete. Go to the grass. The grass insulates your feet and keeps your brain from freezing."

That’s a lie (see photo at end of my column). Your brain freezes just as fast in the grass, but the ants don’t get on your concrete when they inevitably drop said popsicle.

Maybe it’s not really lying so much as it is diversion from the truth. We start these kids out with lies. We tell them about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the tooth fairy.

And they believe it all. We’re either sinister liars or great actors. I’d like to think I am a golden-globe winner at parental and grandparental acting.

The Tooth Fairy was just out of necessity. We lie about where their old nasty teeth go and give them money with a made up story about a fairy who leaves $1 for a tooth. When I was a kid, I think it was just a quarter, but you have to figure for inflation.

If we were truthful with our kids, we’d say something like, "Congratulations, you lost a tooth and look like a hillbilly. Here’s a dollar to make you feel better."

You have to admit, they are pretty stinking cute at that age and most of the stinking is gone because they can go to the bathroom on their own. Of course, you have to take them in there and stand around waiting for them to do their business.

This is an actual photo of my grandkids Kycen and Baylee with painful brain freezes that both of them experienced while eating popsicles. Notice how they are supposed to be in the grass, but have crept up onto the concrete.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 28, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Moonday, August 21, 2017 - a day that eclipsed all others.

Ok, sorry for the dumb intro to my column.

Like most people, I couldn’t wait to jump on the eclipse bandwagon, only I was a little late. I searched all over for those "look straight at the sun glasses" but they were sold out everywhere. I just waited too long.

So, I heard from a friend that there was this beer company that put a pair of the glasses in with their packaging and they bought some in Pratt. Well, I’m not much of a beer drinker, but thought, "Hey, we can get some glasses and give the beer away!"

So we hopped in my truck and drove up to Pratt. We walked in just behind someone we knew, whose name I won’t mention, but her initials are Donna Queal, oops. Sorry I am outing you Donna.

We all walked up to the counter together. She had her purchase and we didn’t have anything because we were in a liquor store looking for solar eclipse glasses.

I asked the clerk, "Do you have beer with solar eclipse glasses?"

She pointed at Donna and said, "That’s it right there."

Only Donna had bought the last box.

So we went home empty handed.

Later in the day we learned that Ronda’s stepmother, Linda Vick, had bought 8 pairs from Farmer’s Almanac and wanted us to have a couple of pairs! So, our trip was just a waste of time. I’m still outing Donna for buying the last box of that beer.

Monday rolled around and we not only had glasses, but I had cut up two cereal boxes and made the proper viewers to safely watch the eclipse without glasses.

We actually came to town, got our work done early so that we could rush home and watch the eclipse together at the lake.

Ronda and I set up our lawn chairs and relaxed in the sun as it began to cool off and get darker. Then my phone rang. It was Cory with UPS needing in the gate at Lake Arrowhead. I always joke with him when he comes through and he always jokes back like saying, "Pizza delivery for Nolands" or something silly like that.

Before I let him in I said, "Stop by the viewing eclipse party at our place."

I was kidding, there was no viewing party. It was just me and Ronda, but in about 5 minutes, the UPS truck zipped over the hill and out jumped Cory.

So, "What can brown do for you?" That was their old slogan, but Brown can certainly join us and make an official viewing party of the great eclipse of 2017.

Me and the UPS guy. No packages were delivered during the shooting of this photo.

 

KWIBS - From August 21, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Words, language, tone of voice.... We’re so consumed by it.

The President was too harsh and reckless with his words recently towards Kim Jong-Un according to some media outlets and his words were not harsh enough over the recent riots in Charlottesville by the same media outlets.

I didn’t vote for Trump and was not a supporter of him during the election (no, never a Hillary fan), but I found his words most appropriote in both matters.

In a controversial, but intentionally strong, statement of his own, President Trump declared any North Korean attack would "be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen."

Wow, that is harsh in comparison to former President Obama’s statement on a nuclear test North Korea carried out in 2012.

"The United States condemns North Korea's September 9 nuclear test in the strongest possible terms as a grave threat to regional security and to international peace and stability."

Umm... ok. That wasn’t quite the fix it all statement now was it?

Kim Jong-Un is a punk who only understands forceful responses. He makes constant threats against America and its allies. We’re not going to hug this guy into submission. Choosing careful words hasn’t seemed to work in the past, so let’s try Trump’s approach. The North Koreans have used rhetoric and saber rattling to cause anxiety in their region since Kim Jong-Un took power and I believe he only understands the same in response.

Haters on the right and the left predate Trump’s political career. No matter what he says or does, he will be scrutinized harder than any other president ever was.

Why is that?

Because he doesn’t do politics like politicians have done for decades. He even takes on his own party like when he recently called out his fellow Republicans for not putting a repeal and replace bill on health care after they promised they would to the American people.

But let’s blame Trump for that too. The Republicans only had 7 years to come up with something better than Obamacare, but that’s another column.

Charlottesville was a condemnable act of domestic terrorism. I don’t care if it is Neo-Nazis, the KKK, women dressed in vagina costumes or Black Lives Matter. If you can’t be civil about political issues, you are about as un-American as you can be. When we protest and use violence, we risk the very right to have a right to protest.

Trump’s words and response to the violence were spot on.

"We ALL must be united and condemn all that hate stands for. There is no place for this kind of violence in America," he said about Charlottesville. Pick that apart all you want, but he’s absolutely correct. We should never use our 1st amendment right to insight violence, no matter what side of an issue you are on.

It’s too soon to say I’m warming up to Trump, but I am seeing something that I never saw before in a president in my lifetime.. Trump is either someone who is not afraid to be bullied around by either party, especially his own, or he’s crazy. That’s sort of gotten my attention.

#haveagreatweek

KWIBS - From August 14, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I treasure every text, Facetime and Instant Message I get from my kids.

Joey’s recent texts went something like, "Hey Dad, I want this ridiculously powerful and expensive jetski. Check it out {link included}."

I checked it out. The crazy thing is $10k and is like 1500cc of raw power. Guys in the video are doing flips and jumps so I responded, "You’d need a helmet. In fact, you need a helmet for just wanting one of these."

Breeann’s text go more like this, "Are you cooking dinner at the lake tonight?"

I responded, "Yes, for me and mom. We’re having ribeyes."

Breeann (she hates that I call her Breeann. She says her name is "Bree", but I constantly remind her that I named her at birth): "Hey, if we bring meat, will you cook it? Oh, and is it ok if I bring out (10 of my friends) to the lake?"

Me: "Grrrr..... fine... bring sides."

Now Nick is an entirely different type of texter. With his strange sense of humor, schedule and the 14 hour time difference, our messages go unanswered for hours, sometimes days.

Me: "Hey buddy, what’s up?"

Finally at like 2 a.m. my time I get a text, "Nothing, killing terrorists." He also included a photo of himself with his newly assigned M4 carbine.

Me: "Nice. Thanks for keeping us safe."

Nicholas: No problem. Been at the range all week. Sorry for not texting much. What did you do today?"

Me: "Well, I’m sleeping because it’s like 2 a.m., but yesterday I killed terrorists too."

Nicholas: "???"

Me: "I sprayed Round Up on the driveway and killed all the weeds, but it’s similar to killing terrorists I suppose.

Nicholas: "Sort of...."

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 7, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I recently read the book "Fearless: The Undaunted Courage and Ultimate Sacrifice of Navy SEAL Team SIX Operator Adam Brown."

Adam was killed in a fire fight in 2010.

I’m not trying to spoil this book, but it does end this way.

Early in Adam’s life, he struggled with addiction and at one point spent time in jail for crimes relating to his addiction and theft. He later gave his life to Christ and became a husband and a father.

Adam’s life was full of challenges, but he met each one courageously. He lost his vision of his dominant eye in an accident and later had all his fingers severed and reattached when his HUMVEE rolled in Afghanistan.

Even though he had to retrain himself to shoot left handed, he made the top of the SEALs.

Adam was a man of extremes, whose determination was fueled by faith, family, and the love and support of his wife. He was a man who waged a war against his own worst impulses and persevered to reach the top tier of the U.S. military. Always the first to volunteer for the most dangerous assignments, Adam’s final act of bravery led to the ultimate sacrifice.

He was and is a hero to those who knew him and those like me who would later read the story of his life.

His children saw him as a super hero. They even bought him a pair of "Batman" underwear. He promised them he would wear them while going into battle and he did.

When medics removed his clothes to tend to his many bullet wounds that ultimately killed Adam, they found he was wearing the underwear he promised his children he would wear.

When you remember to pray for our troops serving our country, remember that they are super heroes, at least to someone.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 31, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

So, I am a bucket list kind of guy.

Some of the things I have gotten to check off my list are: SCUBA diving and cave diving in Mexico, zip lining in the Riviara, flying an airplane, driving a Porsche over 100 mph and a number of great concerts - like The Eagles, Boston, Styx, Heart, Tom Petty, Ozzie Ozborne, Metallica, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Van Halen, Foo Fighters, Def Leppard, Foreigner, Bon Jovi, KISS, Rush and so many others over the years.

Tuesday night, I got to check another concert off my bucket list. Ronda and I, along with Pat and Tonya White, saw Peter Frampton open for The Steve Miller Band. I’ve seen Steve Miller a number of times and he’s awesome at 73-years-old, but always wanted to see Peter Frampton live.

I had just missed going to see Paul McCartney at Intrust Bank Arena the week before and really wanted to see that show, but I had another obligation pop up at the last minute.

Several months ago, I got an email from The Steve Miller Band fan club (yep, I’m a member) announcing his show at Hartman Arena in Wichita. I was eligible for front row seats with a special code (and a special price). I typed that code in and discovered I could buy 4 front row seats. So, when I saw Peter Frampton was the opening act, I pulled out that magic plastic card and made it happen. I had Pat and Tonya in mind for this show as we went to Steve Miller last year and had a great time. Peter Frampton did not disappoint!!!

That was my first "front row" bucket list concert and I was in heaven. I watched one of the greatest guitar players in history from only 10 feet in front of me - and with good company!

It turns out that I wasn’t the only fan from Medicine Lodge. We ran into several people that night and I received several text messages from others in the crowd who saw us sitting on the front row wondering how we got there! It’s easy, just sign up for the fan clubs and pay attention to your emails and make sure your credit card isn’t maxed out yet!

 

KWIBS - From July 24, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

While I’m not going to take up Ann Coulter’s cross to bear with Delta, I will share a recent experience we had with them.

Ann was simply upset because she got moved from a prebooked aisle seat to a window seat in the same row. Boo hoo.

My Son Nicholas had completed his training at Marine Corps Expeditionary and Combat Skills Training, Class 17030 (that’s me being a proud parent of a serviceman) in North Carolina mid-June. His flight was also prebooked to leave at 2 p.m. - ish EST and arrive in Chicago with plenty of layover time to catch his 7 p.m. flight.

Delta’s flight sat on the runway for more than 4 hours before they disembarked the passengers and placed them on another flight. That flight also sat for more than an hour before taking off for Chicago, now nearly 5 hours behind schedule.

As he was landing in Chicago, his Delta flight to Wichita was taking off, delayed 30 minutes, but still not in time for him to catch it. It was the last flight of the day and he wasn’t sure what to do. I told him to go to the Delta counter and ask for a voucher for a hotel and a meal.

Delta refused and even went as far to say that, "they were out of rooms for passengers from his flight."

Some nice gentlemen at the airport bought Nick a cup of coffee and a meal and thanked him for his service to our country.

Delta didn’t do that. Delta told him that if there was room, he could fly out on the first flight to Wichita on "stand by" status the next day.

The USO gave Nick a cot and he slept in his uniform on the floor near the terminal. This was acceptable to Delta.

It surprises me that no effort was made to do the right thing in Nicholas’s case. He was obviously distressed over missing his flight home. He wasn’t just an ordinary passenger. He was in uniform. Delta didn’t care that he only had 9 days to spend with us before a 36 month duty station in Japan. They robbed him of one of those days and didn’t even so much as offer an apology.

So for everyone taking Delta’s side as Ann Coulter blasts them on Twitter, just remember how they treat ordinary passengers, including those serving their country.

? ? ? ?

Since I’m on the subject of Nick, I’ll let you in on his progress. He is in Japan. He has been assigned to a Chaplain and he is in a one month mentorship program with another RP on his base to learn his job duties.

Nick LOVES Japan. That makes me happy. He was a little apprehensive about his first duty being so far from home, but I think his weekends on the beach with his new Marine buddies and gourmet food pictures have convinced his mother and I that he is genuinely happy with his job.

Because of OPSEC, I’m not allowed to say much more than that. So I’m just pretty green at all the acronyms that are thrown at me as a military parent, but I was "scolded" on Facebook back in January for violating an OPSEC rule. I disclosed my son’s mailing address online. Oops, my bad.

OPSEC, short for Operations Security, works to keep military and families safe from enemy intrusion or detection on social media. The Navy defines it this way: "Operations Security (OPSEC) is a systematic method used to identify, control, and protect critical information and subsequently analyze friendly actions associated with military operations and other activities. Ultimately, OPSEC is protecting your information and activities from your adversaries."

So, we’ve done the whole crash course on OPSEC and I have carefully crafted a special recognition for one special Chaplain. We’ll call her "Chap Eagle 1" to protect her identity. She’s a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan, which could prove to create a hostile working environment for Nick one day soon, since he’s a Dallas Cowboy’s fan.

Chap Eagle 1 is the Chaplain that Nick is attached to, at a undisclosed Marine Air Wing base, on an unidentified island south of Japan. I’ve sent Chap Eagle 1 some messages through Nick thanking her for taking care of my son. She found out that we owned a newspaper in Kansas. Nick snapped a photo of himself and Chap Eagle 1. She wanted to, "be in the paper and have a copy."

Thank you Chap Eagle 1! God bless our soldiers!

 

 

KWIBS - From July 17, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Several years ago, in an attempt to get healthy, I bought an elliptical off of a Craigslist post.

It was a pretty nice Nordictrack model with more features than I knew how to use, so I just left it unplugged and ran on it for years.

Ronda was wanting a treadmill, but we didn’t have room for both in the basement. She hated the elliptical and told me daily. Recently she took an interest in it after about 5 years of mocking it. Maybe I should rephrase that. Ronda became obsessed with my elliptical. She started out going 30 minutes for the first few days and quickly progressed to an hour a day of rigorous excersise.

She gets up about an hour and a half earlier than I do and she spends most of that time on the elliptical. You can hear the "squeak, squack, squeak, squack" all through the house.

One morning last week that "squeak, squack, squeak, squack" turned into a "squeak, squack, click, click, squeak, squack, click, click, THUMP" then some explicit language.

She ran upstairs and woke me up to tell me that she was ANGRY!

Thinking on my feet (or on my back in this instance), I recalled all of the possible things that I could have done to justify her anger. I came up empty.

"I broke the elliptical and was only on it for ten minutes! Get up and fix it," she said.

I got up, grabbed my tools and took it apart. It was apparant as soon as I got the cover off that I wasn’t fixing this. Ronda had sheared off a 3/4" drive pin that had two 20 lb weights on it.

She literally, ran the wheels off of the elliptical. I stared at it for several minutes and imagined the mileage she and I have put on this exercise machine, what it cost to buy it and figured up it’s per mile cost. It was just pennies. It was less than the price of a normal clothes hanger.

I got on Craigslist and found another one. I hope it lasts us another 5 years.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 10, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

One of the greatest things about our country is the diversity of people we have.

I’m speaking specifically of two classes of people: City Folk and Country Folk.

I can’t claim this for a fact, but I think more Country Folk have experienced City Folk living than the other way around. I’m always entertained by people who come to this area and are amazed at the wide open spaces.

Take for instance, my cousins from Fort Worth, TX. They are no strangers to the country life, having grown up in remote areas of Montana, my cousin Michelle, isn’t as impressed by the country as her husband Jeff was on a recent visit. He’s a Fort Worth native.

"You guys have so very few stoplights," he said, referring to Kansas in general. "I think we passed like 2 cars between Harper and your house!"

I thought about that. Yes, we have just two intersections of stoplights here in town, but what really caught my imagination was thinking about when I leave my office to go home, generally I only stop three times before I hit my driveway almost 8 miles away.

When Ronda and I went to my Uncle’s funeral in Fort Worth in April, we stayed about 7 miles from my cousin’s ranch. It took us 50 minutes to get there from our hotel. That’s normal for them, but not for us!

I like visiting the city, but I don’t like traveling in them. Fort Worth is probably one of the worst for traffic, so it may not be fair to compare to a place like Wichita, which is relatively easy to get around in.

I would not trade my pace of life for anything. Last week the 281 resurfacing project began. It took me 50 minutes to get to town on Wednesday. I’m thankful it is a temporary traffic issue!

 

KWIBS - From July 3, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Noland leaves for Okinawa

RPSR Nicholas Noland graduated the United States Marine Corps’ Expeditionary and Combat Skills Training Class 17030 from Field Medical Training Battalion-East, Camp Lejuene, North Carolina on June 14th, 2017. He is pictured with his brother Joey and sister Breeann during his 9 days of liberty he spent at home before he reported to his assignment in Okinawa on June 28th. RPSR Noland will be stationed on a Marine base working for the Chaplain and support teams for the next three years.  K. Noland Photo

Almost every parent has had this conversation with their child.

"When I’m done with school, I’m getting as far away from here as possible."

Maybe your conversation didn’t go quite like that with your kid. Mine didn’t either, but my kid is about as far away from home as you can get right now.

7,145.859 miles to be exact (as the crow flies), according to freemaptools.com. Nick left Sunday, June 25th at 6:15 a.m. and arrived in Okinawa, Japan on Monday, June 26th at 4:15 a.m. Three airplanes and about 18 hours of total flying time and he’s on the other side of the globe.

RPSR Noland reported for duty with the Fleet Marines on June 28th. The tiny sliver of an island will be his home where he’ll be stationed for the next three years. It’s pretty hard to imagine our baby on a Marine base that far away from little Medicine Lodge, KS and less than a 1,000 miles from the craziest dictator on the planet in North Korea.

Nick spent 9 days at home before leaving for his new job. He’s spent the past 6 months in some of the hardest training that the Navy and Marines have to offer. While home, he spent as much time with his new fiancee Natalie Bare as possible. He also graced us with his presence when he needed a home cooked meal! His brother and sister and mother and I really enjoyed having all of our kiddos under one roof again.

I can say with all honesty, that I have never laughed and cried so much in one week. We dropped Nick off at the airport in Wichita early Sunday morning, June 25th. Not knowing when you’ll see your child next, is a sinking feeling, but I know he’s safe, well trained and serving our country proudly.

Have a great week and Happy 4h of July!

 

KWIBS - From June 19, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

It was the greatest Father’s Day gift I’ve ever gotten. All three of my kids were back together in front of me Thursday morning.

It was a crazy week. Nick flew home from combat training after his graduation on Wednesday. Ronda and I, along with Nick’s girlfriend Natalie, drove up to pick him up in Wichita. We took in a movie, ate dinner and did some shopping before we got some awful news.

Nick’s American Airlines flight had broken down on the runway (at least not in the air) and his flight was delayed. Although we were hopeful at first, after 4 1/2 hours, we realized he was not going to make his connecting flight in Chicago and not making it home on time.

Irony can be so cruel. Nick commented after boot camp, "I never want to come back to this God forsaken place," speaking of Chicago.

Nick landed in Chicago 35 minutes after his connecting flight left for Wichita. He would be staying in Chicago for the night. To make matters worse, American Airlines informed him that they would not give him a room for the night and no food voucher.

Nick went and sat down and gave us a call to inform us of his unfortunate situation. While he was sitting there waiting, a retired Marine bought him something to drink and talked with him about his service. It made Nick feel better, but didn’t fix the problem.

We headed home. It was a quiet trip home.

The poor kid ended up at the USO and slept on a cot. He’d later comment on how he was robbed of one night in his own bed after 6 months of training.

But he made it home. We all drove back up the next morning, bright and early, and had him back for a warm reception from his siblings and a warm shower before noon Thursday..

He’ll be here only a little while before his deployment to Okinawa, Japan. RPSR Noland will be stationed there for three years as an assistant to the Chaplain. We’re clinging to every moment with him before he goes.

I’m proud of Nick. I’m equally proud of Joey and Breeann. My kids are amazing people with good hearts. I could not ask for a better Father’s Day than to have them close to me. The only thing missing on Father’s Day for me, was my dad. I know he would be proud of all his grand kids. (my camera did weird things with this photo).

In other news, in all the chaos last week, I forgot to wish my beautiful wife a happy anniversary. It was 29 years ago on June 17, 1988, that I used my Jedi powers to convince her to love me. I love you Ronda. :)

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 12, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I could not be more excited than I am this week.

Late Wednesday night, Ronda and I, along with Nick’s girlfriend Natalie Bare, will travel to Wichita to pick up Nick from the airport!

Nick completed his MCT-East combat training in North Carolina last Friday and graduates from his training this Wednesday morning. After graduation, he’ll grab his sea bags, put on his service uniform and start the trek home to be with us for about ten days before he leaves for Tokyo and then on to Okinawa, Japan for 3 years.

He hasn’t seen his home since December 11, 2016. He hasn’t had a home cooked meal, seen his girlfriend, slept in his bed, pet his dog, seen his niece and nephew, brother, sister and a host of family and friends since he left for boot camp.

RPSR Noland will be given a well deserved rest from his military training. He says he just wants to "hang out" and do nothing for 10 days. We’ll do our best to make that happen.

His mother and I last saw him at RTC in Great Lakes, IL in February. He’s been to his RP schooling in South Carolina and now Marine Combat Training in North Carolina.

After completing his "A" schooling, Nick went "Green" side and started training with the Marines. This was no easy task. Nick has learned how to operate several weapons systems, throw grenades, be gassed, go on hikes of up to 8 miles with 80+ pounds of gear, eat MREs and live in the field and go into battle simulations during the day and night. He’s been sleep deprived, driven to mental and physical exhaustion, screamed at, but is with no doubt, in the best shape of his life.

He has an incredibly interesting career ahead of him and I can’t wait to hear more when he’s home.

KWIBS - From June 5, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I want to die peacefully in my sleep someday like my old friend did, not like the 3 screaming passengers in his car.

Sometimes a good joke is all it takes to break the ice. I used to call it "The Fat Penguin." I always tell my son Joey, when he’s in a tough spot, be prepared to use the Fat Penguin.

My Pastor Dwain Richert always starts his sermons out with a decent joke. Some times they are groaners, but usually they are pretty funny. You wouldn’t think he could tell a good joke, but he can!

Then there’s Jerry X (to protect his identity). Jerry runs me down at the grocery store a few times a week to tell me a joke that’s usually not appropriate. Sometimes he is funny.

My father-in-law has a strange super power when it comes to jokes. He never runs out of them.

My Grandpa Joe was one of the best joke tellers I ever knew. I strive to be like him, but my wife says I always ruin the punchlines.

So to prove her wrong, I’m going to close with a few jokes.

First, do you want to hear a word I just made up? Plagiarism...

Parallel lines have so much in common. Too bad they’ll never meet....

Woman never find me attractive until they find out how much money I make. Then they realize I am ugly and poor..

What’s green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table...

The other day, someone stole my mood ring. I’m not sure how I feel about that...

Have a great week. Tell a joke and make somebody smile!

 

KWIBS - From May 29, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I wanted to take up some space to say a special THANK YOU to Barb and Mike Keltner for the many years of service they have given to our community.

We don’t know how lucky we have been to have them here. They have shaped the lives of several generations of children in this town and they have given their time and their money to help others for as long as I can remember.

Barb actually changed the way I see trash. Before Barb’s lecture, I did not recycle a thing. Today, I recycle almost everything.

Barb is a Mac fan. We’ve had some great banter over the years on Mac vs. PC. She actually won me over to an iPad and an iPhone. I probably couldn’t go back now if I wanted to.

Mike and I share a love for music and several years ago, he and I went to Wichita to see Bela Fleck and the Flecktones featuring Victor Wooten.

The best part about our trip was that it was Valentine’s Day. We both left our wives for the evening, put on some ridiculous flowered shirts and went to dinner in Old Town. We also walked into some tatoo parlors and some other questionable establishments. Over all, it was a great man-date and my wife makes fun of me every Valentine’s Day by asking, "Are we going to do something or do you have plans with Mike?"

Barb and Mike: You guys are the best of the best. This town will never be the same without you. I hope that life brings you many blessings and maybe some return trips to the Lodge!

KWIBS - From May 22, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I packed and unpacked my clothes twice last week. Actually, my wife did the packing.

It all had to do with the weather.

Mother Nature may not be through with us for the spring season. Make sure during the severe storm season you make an emergency preparedness kit, or, ask my wife to do that for you. :)

Spring storms put her on edge, which naturally puts me on edge. Our bags were packed early Thursday morning before I even got out of bed. The weather channel told my wife to do it and she did it. Turns out, it was a bust.... No real damage.

When the area got hit with hail a couple of weeks ago, we stood outside of the newspaper’s front door and watched hail pounding our vehicles and listened to it pummeling our roof.

Before the clouds moved past, we had contact from three different roofing companies. They descended on our little town like moths to a bright light.

And many people have had damage to their roofs.

Several comments have been made about who to use and who not to use and I’ve even heard of near fist fights breaking out over people stealing roofing companies’ signs around town. While leaving town the other day, I thought I missed an election cycle with all of the different signs popping up around town.

When possible and feasible, I would recommend using local contractors. I make this recommendation for several reasons.

1. If they’ve been around a while, they’ll be here when you need them. 2. Their money stays here and circulates here.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 15, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I just want to say, I miss Jay Leno and headlines on Monday nights. For those of you who were fans of the Tonight Show, you know what I’m talking about. It was my favorite weekly event and something the entire family got a chuckle out of.

Being in the newspaper business, we see funny headlines (sometimes intentional, sometimes accidental).

I sat and read some of those headlines this week and thought I would share some of my favorites:

"Poverty meeting attracts poor turnout"

"Gas company behind bean supper"

"Miracle cure kills fifth patient"

"Total lunar eclipse will be braodcast live on Northwoods Public Radio"

"Breathing oxygen linked to staying alive"

"Man tries armed robbery with knife in gun store"

"Neurosurgery department gets new head"

"Pigs die as houses are blown down"

"Man competent enough to be declared insane"

"Bugs flying around with wings are flying bugs"

"Man with nothing to declare had 55 tortoises in his pants"

"Most Earthquake damage is caused by shaking"

"Northfield plans to plan strategic plan"

"Starvation can lead to health hazards"

"Feds say fish need water"

"Dead man found in graveyard"

"Woman missing since she got lost"

"Alton attorney accidentally sues himself"

"Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to take poison"

KWIBS - From May 8, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Congratulations to the Medicine Lodge High School Graduating Class of 2017!

You are about to join the long, proud list of alumni from our community.

Many of you have big decisions to make in your future. Things are about to change for you. For some, it will be a good change, for others, not so good. Sometimes you find out what you are supposed to be doing by doing the things you are not supposed to do.

You’re all adults now. How do you know when you’re doing right and wrong? You know because you were taught by the best teachers in the world at MLHS. You have a guide that is your GPS system for life’s choices. I don’t normally tell you to do something that is led by your emotions, but sometimes if it feels right, it is. What you’ve learned in school the past 12-14 years should have given you the tools you need to make good choices.

Check your ego at the door. This is only the beginning. I know how good you feel walking out of those doors at MLHS, but I promise you, you’ll want to return. And you must return and remember the halls, the smells, the sights and sounds of your school. I still go there often and I don’t even have children in the system anymore. I’m right at home when I walk through those doors and see some of the original smiling faces that were once my teachers!

George Saunders to Syracuse University in 2013 said it best: "Do all the other things, the ambitious things—travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes...but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness."

Again....Congratulations Seniors! We’re so proud of you!

KWIBS - From May 1, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve done my best to keep you up on Nick’s journey in the Navy.

A few weeks ago, I got my second "kid in a box" delivered UPS.

It was full of all of his former Navy uniforms.

Upon graduation from Navy RP training in South Carolina in early April, Nick shipped off to North Carolina to MCTB-E (Marine Combat Training Battalion - East).

Are you as confused as I am? So, Nick is a Navy RP (religious program specialist), who is now attached to the Marines. The Marines came into existence on 10 November 1775. They conducted ship-to-ship fighting, provide shipboard security and discipline enforcement, and assist in landing forces. The Marine Corps has been a component of the U.S. Department of the Navy since 30 June 1834.

Since Nick is a Navy Religious Program Specialist attached to the Marines, he will now wear the Marine uniform. He also is going through their combat training. So, I got all of Nick’s former Navy uniforms from his 4-month-long career shipped back home.

Nick and all of his new uniforms will be home in June for a couple of weeks before shipping off to Japan, where he’ll be stationed for the next 36 months of his Navy/Marine career.

When I ask him what uniforms he’ll need shipped back he answered, "I dunno..."

And because of OPSEC.... (Operations Security - they identify critical information to determine if friendly actions can be observed by enemy intelligence and determine if the information could be useful to them).... I can’t tell you anymore about all the cool stuff he’s doing!

Have a great week and God bless our troops!

KWIBS - From April 24, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

You can learn how to do just about anything these days by simply watching a youtube video.

Just type in "how to_____" and you’ll get a video giving you a step by step guide for things as simple as brain surgery to as complicated as driving a car....

That’s what one 8-year-old boy did right before he chauffeured his sister effortlessly to the McDonald’s half a mile from his East Palestine home while his parents were sleeping last week.

Witnesses said the 8-year-old obeyed all traffic laws like making sure to stop properly at red lights, waiting for traffic to pass before taking a left turn, and staying within the speed limits.

When the two siblings pulled up to the drive-through window with piggy bank money in tow, the McDonald’s workers were convinced this was all a prank, but after an investigation, they discovered it obviously wasn’t.

When confronted by the police, the boy realized he had done something wrong and told Patrolman Jaco Koehler through tears that he just really wanted a cheeseburger, according to the Weirton Daily Times.

I usually cry after eating at McDonald’s.

The children did get to eat at McDonald’s while they waited for their grandparents to pick them up. No charges are being filed.

Meanwhile, my self performed lobotomy seems to have worked well and I can now successfully tie a full Windsor knot while correctly boiling pasta. The constant yodeling is annoying my wife, but the ease at which I can solve a rubik’s cube is down to 15 seconds.

I still forget to use my turn signals though.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 17, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

My son Nick texted me last Monday from his Marine Training Schooling in North Carolina to tell me that he had run 8 miles that morning.

That’s a pretty amazing feat considering I used to have trouble getting him to run downstairs and turn off the lights.

I do have the most interesting family.

Ronda and I travelled to Ft. Worth, TX last weekend to attend my Uncle Gary’s funeral. While we were there, we took a tour of The Stockyards. A guy I simply met as "Jack" was at my uncle’s funeral. Jack was a member of the board of directors of The Stockyards and did a spot-on imitation of John Wayne. He threatened to "belt me in the mouth." I thought he was serious for a while. Turns out being a board member really means you just hang out at a certain drinking establishment once a week at a certain time. He was a hoot.

Just when I thought I had met the most interesting person who was a friend to my uncle, I met "Lisa". I kid you not, she was all of 95 pounds and a former ballet dancer from New York City who turned bronc rider. She had worked for my uncle for many years and around 2009 had fallen from a horse and broken her neck. Not only was she not expected to live, if she did live (which obviously she did), she was told she would be paralyzed for life. She walks, albeit with a limp, but she still works at my uncle’s farm (now my Cousin Michelle’s farm). Lisa was incredible and showed Ronda and I her little apartment behind my uncle’s house at Confederate Park Farms.

I had a drink with Thaddius and Eleanore Roosevelt, her pet raccoon of 13 years and a squirrel, who’s age I didn’t enquire.

I was most impressed to meet my uncle’s friends and see the lives that he had touched in his 14 years in Ft. Worth. My favorite memories will include this journey to celebrate his life with Ronda, my Aunt Millie and Cousin Michelle and family.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 10, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Just over four years ago I sat in my kitchen with Ronda, my Uncle Gary and Aunt Millie. We looked over photos, laughed, cried and paused to remember my dad who had passed away on January 11, 2013.

They drove up from Fort Worth to pay their respects to my dad and my uncle’s only living brother. Over the years, we’ve spent a lot of time together. Fort Worth is an easy drive and any time we are remotely in the area, we drive over to see them. They also came to visit us on a couple of occasions.

Many of you have shared stories about my Uncle Gary with me. He had lived here with his family in the late 1960s and early 1970s, being a part of the Peace Treaty and local Chamber of Commerce. He eventually worked his way up to Editor and pressman at the Index and later in life started a 24 hour printing plant in California. Before his last move to Texas, my aunt and uncle had a newspaper in Seeley Lake, Montana. Over the last 14 years or so, they have raised, boarded and trained horses, specifically for Equestrian.

Last Friday I worked my hardest to finish up everything and hit the road by early Saturday afternoon. My Uncle Gary’s health was failing rapidly. I wanted one last moment with him.

The last time we saw him was before Christmas and before that, it was his 73rd birthday in May of 2016. I expected to leave shortly after lunch and get there early evening. I spoke to my Aunt Millie as I was packing and she said, "You probably won’t make it in time."

We did not make it in time. Uncle Gary passed away later that afternoon.

Thursday afternoon was the last time I spoke with him. I told him I loved him and he was able to say it back. Ever since my dad died, we always told each other we loved one another. We knew we only had so much time to do that in this life. He was in a hospital near Fort Worth and they were preparing to hand him over to Hospice and bring him home to his ranch that day. He wanted to be home and he made it home.

Uncle Gary died surrounded by his family and friends.

He was one of the hardest working people I had ever met in my life. A dreamer, he always had his next move planned. Most recently he and my Aunt Millie were planning on building a new home on their farm, near their daughter and family.

Back in 2011 when he and my Aunt Millie were here, I recorded a 2 hour conversation with them while looking over the family photos. I learned a lot about the Noland side of my family, but mostly I just loved my time with them. I found that conversation and shared it with my aunt and my cousin.

I learned my family had the first television set in Logan, KS. My grandpa "Jock" Noland was probably never photographed without a pipe sticking out of his mouth. My Grandpa Bill was the spitting image of Abraham Lincoln and often portrayed him in reenactments and parades. My Dad, Grandpa, Grandma and Uncle Gary all loved and had Boston Terriers throughout their lives.

My Uncle said to me a few months ago, "It’s up to you now to carry on the bloodline." Uncle Gary’s boys, my cousins, don’t have any children of their own and I have two sons.

He also made me promise to stay in touch with my aunt and my cousins. Family was important to him. That should be an easy promise to keep. I love my Aunt Millie and Cousin Michelle. Since she spent so much time growing her business in Fort Worth, I’ve gotten to spend a lot of time watching her ride and teach others.

Uncle Gary fought the good fight. He fought cancer to the bitter end and never looked back with any regrets. He was a good provider for his family and I saw him work so hard through good times and bad to be a good husband and father.

He was my stand-in dad after dad passed away and I will miss our sometimes daily texts and phone calls. We’d armchair quarterback about every Dallas Cowboys’ game and then talk politics for hours. I will also miss his intoxicating laughter, serious life advice and every promise he kept to love and live.

Have a great week.

KWIBS - From April 3, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I love music.

I’ve been a musician for most of my life now. I’m a bass player. As a bass player, you’re not viewed as a very important part of the band. Play one wrong note and you certainly get recognition.

As of late, I play in church every now and then and sometimes when I walk past one of the six basses in my house, I’ll pick it up and punch out something from my Dorfus CrackTractor days.

You probably remember that crazy trio made of Justin Rugg, David Fasgold and myself. We spent the majority of our time picking on each other and making fun of each other.

One of our favorite past times (to this day) is the belittle the importance of the instrument the other plays. Sometimes we get pretty brutal, but it’s all just in fun.

I ran across this funny story the other day and thought it was a good opportunity to poke a little fun at myself.

An anthropologist went to study a far-flung tropical island. He found a guide with a canoe to take him upriver to the remote site where he would make his observations. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. The anthropologist asked his guide, "What are those drums?"

The guide turned to him and said, "Drums okay, but VERY BAD when they stop."

As they traveled the drums grew louder and louder. The anthropologist was nervous, but the guide merely repeated, "Drums okay. Drums not bad. When drums stop, then very bad!"

Then the drums suddenly stopped. Terrified, the anthropologist yelled to the guide: "The drums stopped! What now?"

The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said, "bass solo."

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 20, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Somebody slaughtered March’s lamb....

This bipolar month has my closet in shambles. I’m not sure which coat, if any, I’m supposed to wear or if I wear shorts and a sweat shirt. Some days, you don’t even know if you’ll end up in the same clothes you started out with. My truck doesn’t know whether to have air conditioner or heater on or if the windows should be up or down or somewhere in between.

What we do know is, it’s very dry.

? ? ? ?

I am getting spring fever, or maybe it’s allergies. I don’t know for sure. I just want to be outside.

I’m a lot like my dad in this respect. I love a project. And just like my dad, I never seem to finish one.

Last year, I began working on a zip line for my kids and grandkids. I got one platform finished and poles hauled up to the top end. We began drilling 20" x 8’ holes in the ground when the Anderson Creek Fire occurred last year and my drill truck guy had to go build close to 20 miles of fence or more. I’ve not seen that truck since! (hint-hint-Flint).

This year’s project is a pontoon picnic table. My wife is less than thrilled.

Parts needed: Picnic table, check; plastic barrels, check; outboard motor, check; lumber and screws, check; friends to ride on it, check; redneck attitude, check...

So when this is finished, the idea is to have a floating picnic table with a motor on it that we can putt around the lake on. Since Ronda thought it was a dumb idea, I agreed to put an umbrella on it so my fair lady won’t fry in the summer sun on the lake. She’s coming around.

Now, if I can just focus and finish it...

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 13, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Driving home from Wichita Monday night, all we could see and smell was smoke.

My phone had been blowing up since early in the afternoon after fires sparked up all over the state, one south of our ranch.

That very day, we had printed an article "Getting - and staying - a step ahead of wildfire". Jessica and Brenda worked as a team on this project. It was something I believed was relevant to the conditions and ironically, it was prophetic in nature.

"Tinderbox dry". That’s a quote from the story.

For weeks now, I’ve been mowing fire lines in preparation to do a little controlled burning on our ranch. We’ve been patiently waiting for the conditions to be right: lower winds, higher humidity and by the grace of God: some moisture to make the ground green.

None of those conditions have occurred and we are now in constant danger of fire in our area.

I’ll be the first to admit that articles on prescribed burning were ones I printed, but didn’t take the time to read. Now I get it and it took last year’s Anderson Creek Wildfire to really get my attention.

Next to Divine intervention, our next best thing is the courage of our local volunteer fire fighters. These folks wage war against wildfire and deserve our thanks and constant prayers.

We could be in for a very critical event in our area. After we receive some needed moisture, we need to evaluate what we can do as a county and community to protect our citizens and property from the dangers of quick spreading wildfires. There are some great people out there with some proactive ideas that need to be heard.

Good luck and thank you to our fire fighters.

KWIBS - From March 6, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve never been quite so devastated than when Doris Sorg announced she was leaving us after 17 1/2 years.

Thankfully, it wasn’t because she hated us or anything. It was just time for a change for her. It couldn’t possibly have been all the times I blew an air horn at her or placed a Donald Trump cut out where I knew it would scare the you-know-what out of her.

As fate would have it, I got a bomb dropped on me a couple of weeks ago and I was again devastated. Brenda Head, who we had hired to replace Doris, announced that she and her husband would be moving back to Missouri where they came from before moving to Medicine Lodge.

Again, it wasn’t anything I had done (I had learned not to blow an air horn at her without some warning). This was just life happening for Brenda and her husband. Brenda was just what we needed, when we needed it.

Sometimes life does funny things.

Finding Brenda was just dumb luck (more like divine intervention). During the search process, Ronda and I had approached Jessica Wright for the job originally. We had heard she had given notice at the bank and we knew she was a smart, articulate lady who would be a good fit.

She turned us down. She had already made other plans for life and as bummed out as we were, we understood.

Brenda’s resume was actually submitted several months before Doris announced she was leaving us, but I had buried it on my desk. After Jessica turned us down, we got out some old resumes looking for a candidate. Little did I realize, I had left Brenda’s in a pile. I had never even seen it, but when I did, I knew Brenda was the right person for the job! A phone call was made, an interview was done and she was hired!

Well, she wasn’t here 17 1/2 years, as required and is now company policy, but she was a wonderful part of our family. She will be missed and we wish her well.

? ? ? ?

Backing up....

I had shot Jessica Wright a series of text messages after Brenda made her announcement. I wasn’t exactly begging, but I was a little more pushy this time!

She turned me down again.

So, I put out some feelers on the old interweb and started setting up interviews.

Out of the blue, Jessica texted me back and said she was interested in the job.

Just like a woman, she couldn’t make up her mind. *kidding Jessica*

Keep in mind, I’ve known Jess since she was a little Jess. She’s about my son Joey’s age and I’ve always known she is a sharp girl, had great people skills and was someone who I had a gut feeling about.

Also keep in mind I hadn’t read a single story she’d ever written excepting text messages and facebook posts!

But I think my gut is pretty smart most of the time. It wasn’t smart on Wednesday when I tried to eat an entire meat lover’s pizza by myself, but pretty smart nonetheless.

So the entire week was pretty busy and like a giant drum roll. I was in and out and finally received Jessica’s first stories on Thursday. It was her introduction and CID stories.

I nailed it. I mean, she nailed it. The girl can write!

So, with a week of training behind her, I’m excited to welcome Jessica Wright to Team Premiere. She’s already aware of my office antics, has gone through all the stages of grief for taking the job and will probably turn in her notice in a week. *kidding again*.... I hope!

Watch for what Wright writes. Yeah, I am the one doing the word fun at the moment.

I want to thank Brenda for putting up with me the past 7 1/2 months. She’s not getting a big party, but she’s getting a big thank you from us. We love you sister and we thank you for your time with us!

Welcome aboard Jess!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 27, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

If you’re older (like me), you remember when air was free. You probably also remember never getting out of your car when pulling up to the gas station.

Things are different now. You pull up and get your own gas and pay for it right at the pump. If you are like me, you also wash your own windows, check your own oil and then, if you notice a tire is low, you reach over for the free air pump. The only problem is, it’s not there and it’s not free anymore at most places in the city.

So that’s another one of the little things I love about Medicine Lodge. We still have free air. There’s at least two that I know of that are on 24/7. One is at Black Diamond Express and the other is at Slinkard Oil. There are probably others, but those are the two that I know for sure are there and on when I need them.

And I always need one. I live in the country, on dirt roads, and we are guaranteed at least a flat once a month. At last count, I’ve had 9 nails already for 2017 and I still have one in my front right tire as I write this.

Ever since I was a kid, Slinkard Oil has been my go to place for air. It was always my go to place for gas until Bill stopped providing that service (way, way back).

Bill has always been my main source for free air for 4 decades. I can always count on pulling up to his station any time day or night and being able to top that tire off before I head north for home.

If I’m lucky enough, it’s during business hours and I can say hi to someone who has been serving the community for longer than I’ve been alive. Thanks Bill for always having air. If you charged for it like the big cities do, I’d probably be your biggest customer. (Please don’t start charging me for air though. That would just crush me!)

 

KWIBS - From February 20, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

As parents, Ronda and I couldn't be prouder of E1-RP, Nick Noland, one of the United States Navy's newest Sailors! Nick graduated from RTC (Navy Boot Camp on Friday, February 10, 2017. Many of you with military members in your family know the process. We had little contact consisting of a couple of short phone calls and several letters that were usually 10 days old by the time we got them.

Nothing made us happier than to run onto that ceremonial floor and hug our son after 3.5 hours of waiting in the grand stands.

So I had to share this photo and a funny story about Nick's Pass In Review from the Navy. As dumb luck would have it, Ronda and I were invited to sit VIP with the Officers of Recruit Training Command.

We had read that if you were dressed up and were lucky enough, you could get selected if there was room. We were dressed up and we were lucky enough to be selected!

A young man (Petty Officer) came and offered us seats and we jumped up and followed him downstairs in front of thousands of other anxious family and friends of sailors and we were seated in some nice cushy chairs in the center of the ceremony hall directly behind the RTC staff and big wigs.

The event is broadcast live each week. We ended up on the live stream for most of the ceremony. Many of our family members back at home took photos of the screen and send us the pictures via our phones. At one point, Nick glanced up from the choir and looked at the Officers and caught a glimpse of his mom. He was mortified! Nick had purposely hidden from us before the ceremony. He was in the performance division and that division can usually meet their families before the graduation, but he did not want to become emotional before having to perform.

After graduation he was like, "I thought you guys wandered up there by mistake and would get thrown out and I would be in huge trouble!"

A Pass In Review is an awesome military graduation full of marching bands, singing, drill teams and speeches. The best part is when they call out, "Now hear this. Now hear this. Liberty! Liberty!" We all went running onto the floor looking for our sailor in their dress blues. It's like looking for a needle in a haystack, but when you find it, you hold it tight!

There's a news release from the Navy about Nick's Pass In Review on page 12. I would note that Nick says "thank you" to so many who wrote to him. That really does help them get through the training.

Nick said, "It was a lot like college accept you don't get to sleep much, you do a lot of exercising and everyone is screaming at you before and after classes!" That was explanation enough for his mom and me.

We spent the day in the Great Lakes area catching up from the past couple of months of separation. The second good-bye was much easier than the first. Nick left early the next morning for Fort Jackson in Columbus, SC. After a couple months of schooling, he may be home for a few days before his next assignment. We are proud of our son and so happy that he chose this career and education path. HOOYAH NAVY!! CONGRATULATIONS NICK NOLAND!!

KWIBS - From February 13, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

I called my wife on a Thursday evening, "Did you see the new water tower?"

She simply said, "No, what are you talking about?"

I don’t know how she missed it.

We drive about 8 miles to town every morning from our home at M-Bar Ranch, south of Lake Arrowhead. The drive takes us right past the Phye Development and the area where they have been building the new water tower.

Somehow, she drove home that Thursday night and didn’t even notice that the skyline had changed!

So we drove in together Friday morning and she was like, "WOW!"

It was pretty incredible to see that tower go up in a day. I realize they have worked on it on the ground for months now, but to see it all up inside of a few short hours, was impressive to say the least!

Over the 28 years of driving to town almost every day, I have a great perspective on how things have changed. I now see wind towers, cellular towers, a new SPEC building, transmission power lines and now a new water tower!

There’s also going to be some road construction happening in the near future, so be prepared. Be prepared for a stop and a pilot car. I’m sure you’ve seen all the heavy trucks and equipment that are being staged to the south of the SPEC building. The project will pave 281 from the intersection of 160/281 clear to the Pratt County line.

We’ll be prepared by going an extra 5 miles out of our way on over towards Isabel and down that county road to town to avoid having to stop and wait for a pilot car to guide us at 20 mph. I’m not patient enough to stop and wait, and the change in scenery will be nice, unless it rains and then that’s about 8 miles of dirt roads to drive down instead of 2.5.

That’s the price we pay for progress I suppose.

By the way, Ronda and I are the proud parents of one of the Navy’s newest Sailors - Nick Noland!

Congratulations and happy birthday, buddy!

KWIBS - From February 6, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

This is a very special week for Ronda and I. We’ll be flying to Chicago on Thursday, renting a vehicle and driving to Waukegan, IL early Friday morning, February 10, 2017 to watch our son Nick graduate from Navy RTC.

We haven’t seen Nick since we dropped him off in Kansas City on December 12, 2016. It seems like forever ago, that we watched our youngest child board a shuttle for the airport.

Since then, we’ve gotten a dozen letters and two short phone calls. One call was actually about 30 seconds long to tell us he made it and he was sending us his personal belongings. The other phone call was about 14 minutes long and was at the tone of a whisper because we were still in church.

We are expecting one other important phone call this week. It’s the "I’m a Sailor" call. Each recruit is given the opportunity to call home after Battle Stations 21 (BST). BST is the final test for the recruits and is a 12 hour evaluation program with 17 ship board scenarios from missile attacks that can cause fires to flooding caused by exploding undersea mines. Recruits also stand watches on the bridge and are tasked with engineering scenarios, lookout scenarios, and mass casualty drills.

Battle Stations-21 is conducted several times a week, at night, on board USS Trayer (BST 21), a 210-foot-long Arleigh Burke-class destroyer simulator. It begins around 8:00 pm CST and ends the next morning. Throughout the various scenarios, recruits are evaluated and graded not only as individuals, but also as teams and as an entire division. The morning that a recruit passes Battle Stations-21, they attend a capping ceremony around 8:20 or so that lasts about 20-30 minutes where they remove their "RECRUIT" ball cap and replace it with a "NAVY" ball cap, which signals to the world that they are a US Navy Sailor! Then they can call home.

We can’t wait for this call and can’t wait to see Nick!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 30, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Cautiously optimistic.

That’s the answer I gave when asked what I thought about President Trump’s first week.

I was a "never Trump, but never...er Clinton." I wasn’t shy about it, but I have to say, I’m impressed so far with the composure of President Donald Trump.

I can’t believe I just wrote that.

Everyone deserves a chance. Those who are protesting and carrying signs that read "Not My President" are delusional.

I didn’t vote for Obama, but he was my president for 8 years. That’s how it works in America. We agree to disagree and we move on down the road ..... or we dress up like women’s genitalia and march in the streets...

I have many friends who are staunch Trump supporters and many others who are totally freaking out. We all have to calm down and not get thrown off the airplane for our emotional outbursts.

I think that, no matter your political view, we have to agree that destruction of property, aggravated battery and violence against authority are not part of the healing process for America. I believe in a peaceful right to protest and the freedom of speech, but it ends when you threaten to "blow up the White House." It ends when you burn limousines. It ends when you forget to act like an adult, no matter who your president is.

You would have thought the whole world went mad on January 20th, 2017 after the inauguration of the 45th U.S. President.

I’m grateful to live in the middle of South Central Kansas where we shrug off crazy and go to work every day no matter who our president is. There’s something to be said about living in a fishbowl when the ocean has so many sharks in it.

Let’s all be friends and hug it out.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 23, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Many of you ask, and I’m always proud to answer, how is Nicholas doing in boot camp?

Well, we haven’t heard much from him. We’ve gotten about 5 letters (all at once) and we’ve received one 15 minute phone call.

He is doing well though! Nicholas made the Triple Threat Division also known as the Performance Division. These sailor recruits are chosen based upon interview and past experience in flags, band, choir and drill performances. Nicholas was chosen to sing in the Blue Jacket Choir.

Beginning on Friday of this week 1-27-17 at 8:45 a.m., Nicholas will perform at Pass In Review (PIR), which is the Navy’s version of Graduation. He will perform at three PIRs, including his own on Friday, February 10, 2017.

He marches in separately from his division, so we’ll have a great opportunity to see him before we actually see him!

How’s that? You can watch the ceremonies live on the Navy’s website: http://navylive.dodlive.mil

I started watching these live streams a few weeks ago and they are pretty amazing. You can only imagine how proud we are and how excited we are to see him!

Tune in any time on Friday!

KWIBS - From January 16, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I were driving north on 119th Street in Wichita a couple of weeks ago when a truck lost a bundle of newspapers and hit and then went airborne all over the place. It was a really windy day and there were newspapers everywhere, including windshields of passing vehicles.

I said, "Man, that poor dude ...."

About a week later, I was perusing through the stacks of newspapers I get each week in the mail and ran across Paul Rhodes’ column in the Conway Springs Star.

In his column, Publisher Rhodes confessed that he lost a bundle of newspapers on 119th in Wichita.

"I was between stops, headed south on 119th Street, just north of Central in west Wichita. An extra-unruly gust of wind actually caused my truck to jump a little, and then I heard a thump."

Disaster struck....

Yep, that’s pretty much what I saw heading north on 119th Street, just north of Central in west Wichita.

So when I read that, I picked up the phone and called Paul and told him that I was a material witness to his littering.

Paul told me, "It would have been professional courtesy for you to stop and help pick those up!"

That’s true, but I was in a hurry to make an appointment and to get lunch. Lunch came before being a good Samaritan that day. I sort of feel bad now, knowing it was someone I have known for so many years.

Some jogger ended up taking pity on Paul. You’ll be happy to know he picked up almost every single edition he lost in all of that heavy traffic and bad wind that day. It took him over an hour to get it all cleaned up!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 9, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

We simply take for granted what it takes to put food on our tables.

Once a year, we do this special edition to honor our area farmers and ranchers for their dedicated love of the land.

As I get older (this is my 26th Soil Conservation Edition) I become more and more appreciative to those folks who work the land.

So to those involved with the Barber County Conservation District, thank you and congratulations!

? ? ? ?

As of this writing, we still haven’t heard from Nicholas directly. We are hoping that will change soon. Nick left for RTC (Navy bootcamp) on December 12.

We' waited 21 days for news about Nick and Monday night we got a call from Waukegan, IL at dinner. I was so excited and answered "hello buddy!". It wasn't him.

It was a shipmate named Miller. Nick had watch that night while his shipmates got to call home. He's the last division to get that privilege, but couldn't. SR Miller used some of his time to call us and let us know Nick was thinking about us. It was only about a one minute call, but couldn't have been more appreciated.

We've camped out on our phones for three weeks. It felt so good to know someone cares enough to have his back and make a call to people he'd never met. He said, "I was there when you put your hand on the window of the bus against your son's."

Wow. Miller, you're a great kid and great future sailor for taking the time to call us. Hope we get to talk to Nick soon, but feel so good to know he has friends like that. I'm going to hug that kid at PIR on 10 FEB 2017. There are some great kids out there serving our country and each other. Thank you SR Miller.

 

KWIBS - From January 2, 2017 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I were able to take a few days off to see family and friends in Texas over the Christmas break.

It’s good to be home and back into a seemingly normal routine again.

While in Texas, we got to spend a day with Dale and Michele McCurdy. You might remember them. They were both teachers in our district in the late 1990s. We’ve kept our friendship up with them and they are a great couple. We try to see them a couple of times a year.

They flew in from Amarillo and we picked them up at Love Field in Dallas. We didn’t really have a plan. We just wanted to spend a day together around the holidays.

One of the highlights of our visit together was seeing Star Wars Rogue One. Dale and I are both nerds and we abstained from seeing the movie until we could do it together.

One week later, Carrie Fisher has died. Although she did not actually have much of a role in Star Wars Rogue One, she did have a computerized cameo appearance which will now be an immortal tribute to her career as Princes Leia.

What boy in the 1970s and 1980s didn’t have a crush on Carrie Fisher?

? ? ? ?

Ronda and I also got to go to a Dallas Cowboys’ game at AT&T Stadium. We’ve been life long fans and even went to games when they weren’t winning.... They didn’t disappoint, beating Tampa Bay, 26-20. The best part of the game was getting to see Caleb Alexander, Ronda’s cousin. We had a great time.

The most important thing we did, was to see my Uncle Gary Noland. Many of you might remember him from his days running the Index. Uncle Gary has stage 4 lung cancer. I was blessed to see him and his family this Christmas season.

KWIBS - From December 26, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

8 days, 4 states, 2150 miles later and we were back for a few days - just in time for Christmas and this special edition!

2017 is only a few days away now. The new year brings hope and excitement. You’re probably thinking I’m speaking of the election again, but I’m not.

A new year is always a time to reflect on goals and ambitions, while remembering the things of the past. This entire newspaper is a snapshot of what our community achieved over the most recent completion of a lap around the sun.

I usually do a column on a person of the year that stands out in our community. There are several and on our way home from Texas last week, Ronda and I discussed many of them. To summarize: It’s all of you. It’s everyone who took the time to be involved, be informed and kept faith in Medicine Lodge during a more challenging economic time.

No one will argue that this was a tougher year. The oilfield is a wee bit slower than most of us would like. We hope that 2017 brings prosperity to this industry. We also hope that cattle markets come back up, and that wheat prices and other crops continue to make a come back.

I look forward to 2017. I’m most excited to be able to spend time with my family. We got a little scattered this year with Nick leaving for Chicago, so we especially look forward to seeing him at his graduation in February.

My prayer for you this new year is that you find peace and happiness in whatever situation you find yourself in. Be good to one another and give the gift of yourself to those who might need you. That’s easier said than done, but it’s good advice. No one ever said in their last moments, "I wish I had less time to give."

Have a happy new year friends!

 

KWIBS - From December 19, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

"To raise a child, who is comfortable enough to leave you, means you've done your job. They are not ours to keep, but to teach them to soar on their own."

I don’t know who said it, but it was the first of several emails I got from navydads.com last week. It choked me up a little bit. I’m also not really sure how comfortable any of us were when Nick left for Chicago Monday, but he’s on his way to a new life and we’re proud of his decision to be in the Navy.

Thank you to the American Legion Riders for a wonderful send-off for Nick on Saturday. You guys are really special people.

? ? ? ?

This is our last of two newspapers for 2016. They are both my favorite issues to publish. I love this issue because the kids write to Santa and we have the awesome responsibility of making sure Santa gets our newspaper and reads each letter! And... those kids are hilarious!

This was one of my favorite letters. I have no idea who these little people are, but the letter is almost extortion!

"Dear Santa,

Do you like chocolate chip cookies? I would like a remote control car, a new pencil box, a blue ipad and a play computer. I would like a snappy from the Trendy Monkey for my mama and underpants for my dad.

Love, Darcie, Davis and Mackenzie"

"Do you like chocolate chip cookies?" Well Santa, if you do, you’d better get your butt to my house with the following items! Hilarious!

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas I have three gifts I would like to receive. The three gifts I would like are a guitar, drums, and a microphone. The first thing present I want is a guitar. I want a guitar because I want to play to practice and to join a band. The second thing I want is drums. I want drums because I want to play them in the band and to practice at home, and to join the band and the third thing I want is a microphone. I want a microphone because I want to sing, to talk into and to join a band. - Mekoy Baier

Do you think this kid wants to be in a band?

Dear Santa,

This Christmas I have three gifts that I would like to receive. The three things I want for Christmas is an I pod, rabbit, K-State shirt. The first thing I want to receive is an I Pod. I want an I pod because I can play games on it, call 911 for emergencies and order clothes on line. The second thing I want to receive is a rabbit. I want a rabbit because they are fluffy and I can play with it and I can cuddle with it. The third thing I want to receive is a K-Sate shirt. I want a K-State shirt because I like K-State, it’s my favorite team and I can wear it on favorite team day. This is what I want for Christmas. - Kembry Shippy

Ok, a rabbit..., 911? Order clothes online? Wait a minute...

Dear Santa,

This year for Christmas I have three gifts I would like to receive. The three gifts I would like to receive is a 22 gun, a machete, and a chemistry set. The first gift I would like to receive is a 22 gun. I want a 22 gun because I can shot deer, I can shoot squirrels, and I can shoot rabbits. The second gift I would like to receive is a machete. I want a machete because I can chop wood, I can clean the animals, and I can chop grass for a fort. The third gift I would like to receive is a chemistry set. I want a chemistry set because I can do science, I can do experiments, and I can do explosions. These are the three gifts I would like to receive. Marry Christmas. - Shaefer Stone

Keep this kid away from Kembry’s rabbit.....

My kids are all grown and my daughter has children of her own now, so we don’t really do the "Santa" thing, but I remember doing it for them.

I even remember one year I got Cecil Newman to dress up as Santa and come to my mom’s house. Joey and Breeann were pretty little and it scared the you know what out of them.

I think it’s safe to say that Santa was very, very jolly.... That’s one of my fondest memories of my kids and Santa when they were little.

Every year we do something silly. This year, we all got together with Santa during Nick’s send off party. You can see that photo on the front page this week. My son Joey is into ugly sweaters. A couple of years ago, I got to recreate a really goofy Christmas photo with my two sons. This year they wanted to do another one before Nicholas left for Navy Boot Camp.

You know the goofy photos I’m talking about. They look like this....

Matthew 1:20-23

Behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you will call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins."

Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: "Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Emanuel," which is translated, "God with us."

From our family to your family, we wish you a blessed Christmas. Love and cherish the time you spend with your family and friends and remember the true meaning of Christmas.

Merry Christmas Friends!

KWIBS - From December 12, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

There is almost nothing as wonderful as a childrens’ laughter - unless you’re in the middle of a tense football game and three of them are running around between you and the television!

Seriously, it is amazing to watch a child laugh and play and not have a worry in the world.

When I was a kid, I could be entertained with a 10 cent rubber ball from Frosty’s Donut Shop. You remember them. I’m pretty sure I spent thousands of dollars on those silly things. I come across one every now and then.

I also remember going to Ben Franklin’s dime store once a week and buying up all the little rubber parachute guys I could afford. They cost 19 cents a piece. I could usually get 4-5. Those guys kept me entertained for hours.

Toys are so expensive these days. There are many families who just can’t afford to buy them. There are many kids in this community who could use a gift this holiday season. The Angel Tree at the Peoples Bank is a great way to give this Christmas.

The next two editions of The Gyp Hill Premiere are the best editions to put on the streets. I absolutely love the Letters to Santa, which will be in our December 19th Christmas Edition. The following week is our Year In Review. This edition I lovingly refer to as the "Bathroom Edition". It’s perfect to leave in your bathroom all week long to read about the events that happened in our community during 2016! I would not use this like a 1930s Sears Catalogue though as we now use soy based inks that tend to smudge on your skin....

Congratulations to Noel Lopez on opening Cancun’s. I’ve always enjoyed his families’ food at their other locations. We’re very happy you chose Medicine Lodge as your newest eatery!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From December 5, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

One week from today, Ronda and I will have a first-ever transition in our lives. We’ll be true "empty-nesters".

Our youngest child, our baby, will be entering the United States Navy.

This has been an incredible journey for our entire family, especially for Nick.

I remember last September when he had barely started his senior year, Nick asked me what I thought about him joining the service. I was pretty impressed that he was even considering such a move. I had always assumed he would play football, baseball or run track somewhere.

Within a week from that conversation, he was signed up and we started the weekly check ins and monthly meetings.

Everything was on track until early November, when Nicholas was injured in a football game at Sedgwick. The prognosis was a torn labrum and after his recruiter was notified, he was placed in a holding pattern. We learned a week later that he was to be disqualified medically by the Navy. His only option was surgery and even then, there was no guarantee that they would take him. It was pretty devastating.

Everyone has a dream and a story of how it came to pass. Nick’s story was pretty incredible. He went right in for surgery after his injury, never once looking back. He worked extremely hard on his rehabilitation, so much that he even rejoined the baseball team in the spring almost one month earlier than his surgeon had thought possible. They made it to state for the second year in a row! Everything was going according to schedule and he left for MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) in April where he was denied by one surgeon and granted a waiver from another! He had even lost his original job and only given an Airman Undesignated job, but then he was offered his original job back 3 days after swearing in.

To understand what the odds of that happening are, consider that Religious Program Services in the Navy consists of 889 jobs worldwide. Not many of these jobs open up. RPs assist with religious services on bases and ships. One of their main responsibilities will be providing physical security for chaplains during field exercises and in combat environments. In the Navy, chaplains are not allowed to carry firearms. RPs are assigned to assist and protect them. When Nick finishes RTC (the Navy’s version of bootcamp) he will go to an "A" schooling to learn his job and then to a Marine Combat school, as he will most likely be traveling with Marines.

Nick has never stopped trying. He has never given up. His quiet nature should not be mistaken for timidity. He’s been very courageous through this process. That doesn’t mean he’s not anxious and nervous about what’s coming. He tells me that over the course of the next 9 weeks of training, he’ll miss: his girlfriend, music, his mom’s cooking and his own bed. I’m sure he’ll figure out a lot of other things he’ll miss.

He has one final trip to Kansas City on Monday, December 12, 2016. Once he is cleared, he departs for the Navy’s Recruit Training Center in the Great Lakes Region the next morning. Please be praying that everything continues to go in his favor!

As hard as this transition is going to be for Nick and for Ronda and me, we are so excited for his future.

We’ll miss him at Christmas and probably his birthday in February. I’ll miss our nightly visits, playing guitar with him, the constant pranks in our home and just his presence. He will be in good hands. "The World’s finest Navy," as the base answers their phones.

Please join us at Finnegan’s Saturday, December 10th from 2-4 p.m. as we celebrate Nick’s decision to serve his country and jump start his future. Everyone is welcome to attend!

KWIBS - From November 21, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Dear President-elect Donald Trump,

I just wanted to congratulate you on the biggest upset in politics in the history of Presidential races.

First, let me admit that I did not vote for you. You’ll be happy to know I didn’t vote for Hillary either. I took the obscure and unlikely 3rd party candidate route - because, honestly, I didn’t think you could win and did not want Hillary to win. I figured that America was so over all of the Hillary scandals and she would sweep the election. We’d be stuck with that for four years..

Boy was I wrong. You should know that I also bet on elections. I usually win, but this is the first one in three elections that I didn’t win. I even went as far to "double or nothing" this election. I almost felt sorry for the guy I was betting because he had so much confidence in your win. That is going to cost me two steak dinners. Secretly, I have never been so happy to lose a bet.

I’m a Republican, but not a "Never Trump" Republican. I will tell you that some of the crazy things you said during the election baffled me. You certainly did not demonstrate being presidential for the most part. Maybe that’s what was appealing (appalling) to people.

I think you got elected because people have had enough with the same old - same old in Washington, D.C. We’re all tired of the same names, same declines and same outcomes and we’re ready for something different. I guess you’re it.

My only advice to you is: don’t be a post turtle. In case you don’t know what that is ...

An old rancher is talking about politics with a young man from the city. He compares a politician to a "post turtle". The young man doesn't understand and asks him what a post turtle is.

The old man says, "When you're driving down a country road and you see a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle. You know he didn't get up there by himself. He doesn't belong there; You wonder who put him there; he can't get anything done while he's up there; and you just want to help the poor, dumb thing down."

Best of luck to you and America,

Kevin

KWIBS - From November 7, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

As I was mowing and weed eating on November the first, I was thinking, "When will this end?"

Well, it ends tomorrow - Hopefully.

Who knows when the grass will stop growing, but the election is officially over tomorrow at 7 p.m.

I often wonder what Facebook will look like after November 8th. I hope it goes back to its quirky self with pictures of families and fun posts.

I’m hoping for some good jokes about the candidates. I’ve found a few that made me giggle.

Donald Trump jokes:

- What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly? Hair Force One!

- Why doesn’t Melania Trump want to be the first lady? Because she’d have to move into a smaller house.

- You know what Trump has besides money? A barber with a sense of humor.

Hillary Clinton jokes:

- Why won’t Hillary let her campaign staffers exercise? Because they might "feel the Bern...."

- Why is Hillary running for President? Because it’s easier than running from the law.

- A Fox News national poll found that people prefer Hillary Clinton to Donald Trump by 2 points. While an MSNBC poll found that Hillary Clinton has already been president for two years.

And.... for both Clinton and Trump:

- Trump and Clinton are the oldest nominees since 1848. Or as Bernie Sanders put it, "My first campaign!"

- A new poll found that the majority of millennials would vote for Hillary Clinton over Donald Trump. Then millennials found out you can't vote by texting and said, 'Never mind!

- Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on a plane. The plane crashed. Who survived? America...

God help us.... Have a great 4 years!

 

KWIBS - From October 31, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I can’t believe it’s Halloween. It’s scary how fast time flies. Did you see what I did there?

? ? ? ?

Sometime in the next few weeks Medicine Lodge will be getting a brand new restaurant. Noel Lopez will be opening "Cancun" on Hwy 281. I met Noel several years ago in Anthony and he’s been trying to get his family’s Mexican restaurant open here for a couple of years now. Watch the newspaper for information on his opening!

? ? ? ?

We only have a couple of more weeks left of hearing about which candidate is grabbing inappropriate body parts or which candidate is the most corrupt. I personally can’t wait until 2020 when we restart the process, hopefully with brand new faces worthy of consideration.

? ? ? ?

I missed getting a birthday greeting in the paper for my daughter and my oldest son. Bree’s birthday was October 3rd and Joey’s was October 28th. Happy birthday kiddos!

October always gets away from us with all of the birthdays we have.

Thursday is my wife’s birthday. For those of you who don’t know her, she’s the beautiful redhead I’ve had on my arm for the past 31 years, 3 of those years as my girlfriend. She’s still my girlfriend.

There are a few men who can claim they are blessed with a good woman. I’m one of those guys and I know it - and I don’t take it for granted. Ronda is my world and I take great pride in telling you what she means to me and wishing her a happy birthday.

Proverbs 31:10-12 says:

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. and

28-29: Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; "many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."

I found her. Happy Birthday Ronda, I love you.

KWIBS - From October 17, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

A lady I’ll call "Sandy", stopped in my office last week. She was a native of Mullinville, KS and was doing a historical book on her community.

My great-grandparents, Jock and Mom (Ethel) Noland were known as "Grandpa and Grandma Noland" in Mullinville from the 1930s-1970s when they passed away.

"Jock" was a mechanic and owned the garage in town that is now the home of Mullinville’s veterans’ memorial.

Folks remember Jock as the local go-to-fix-it-guy. Ethel was the town’s dooms-day prepper. She had a large cellar that many of the town’s folk gathered in when inclement weather approached.

Over the years I’ve run into many folks from Mullinville who remember my great-grandparents. All of the stories were of fond memories. They ran a skating rink and silent movie theater in town and eventually the mechanic shop.

I still know where the house they lived in is. When I stop at the Mullinville Cemetery I drive by the old house. It still has an "N" on the screen door.

Sandy recalls, "On the site of the Veterans’ memorial on HWY 154 which is on the NE corner of Main and the highway sat Jock’s Mechanic Shop for many years. In the beginning it was a service station run by Hoch Aldrich and Jock had a mechanic shop behind the service station. Then Jock purchased the whole building and turned it all into a mechanic shop.

Almost everyone in town at some point had Jock work on their cars. He was in business at that location and did some advertising in 1953-54 in the school annual. In 1956 his ad in the annual said: ‘Bring it to Jock’s. We do the Best."

Most of us remember Jock as a tease who loved to talk and shoot the bull with anyone within earshot. We can all see him perched on his folding chair outside the drive in door of the mechanic shop watching the traffic going by on the highway and holding the ever present pipe in his hand.

Everyone remembers him with the pipe, he never went anywhere without that pipe in his and or dangling out the side of his mouth. I don’t think most of us ever saw him in anything but his overalls. When he wasn’t sitting outside the mechanic shop, you could find him across the street at the Sinclair telling stories to the guys that would stop in there. Through the years Jock mentored a lot of young men on how to take care of their cars and how to fix them."

My cousin Dave Woolery recalled another story about Jock’s Mechanic Shop in Mullinville. Dave recalls that it was a gathering place for many of the local men. They would sit on his bench in front of the garage and drink sodas and smoke. Jock didn’t mind them hanging out, but didn’t have a public restroom.

This didn’t bother the men that came to visit. They would just go around behind his shop and relieve themselves in a drain grate he had behind the building. This irritated Jock and he asked them time and time again not to do that. They didn’t listen.

Jock devised a plan to stop this behavior. He wired up the metal grate to a car battery. It only took one person using the bathroom in the forbidden drain to teach the rest of the town a lesson.

Several years ago, I had heard they were tearing my great-grandpa’s shop down to build the memorial site. I found where many of the bricks had gone and purchased some from the man who had stored them. I have a few of them around my house.

I was very young when Mom and Jock passed away, but have many photos and have heard many stories about them.

Sandy’s book featuring my family is set to be published in the spring of 2017. I shared some stories and some photos with her for the book. I ordered some books to give to family.

KWIBS - From October 10, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

In about 60 days, my youngest son leaves for Great Lakes, IL for Recruit Training Command for the United States Navy.

It seems like when you are young, time lingers. As you get older, time flies.

Nick and I have been talking through some of the anxiety of starting this new chapter in his life. Four years for an 18 year old is nearly a quarter of their life as they know it. Four years for me was the end of Nick’s Freshman year in High School. It seems like it was only yesterday that he started grade school.

The relevance of time is a perspective that is uniquely appreciated by everyone. Some things like waiting for the birth of a child seems to take forever, while watching that child grow up is a flash before your eyes.

Nick will spend about 9 weeks in his basic training and then attend A and C schooling in the Carolinas. All of this will happen in just the first few months of his enlistment. From there, who knows where he’ll end up. Most likely because of his rate, he’ll be stationed with Marines somewhere.

60 days... That’s coming up very quickly.

One year ago, almost to the date, Nick was playing in one of his last high school football games. It was in Sedgwick, KS. We weren’t winning this game, but Nick was not about to give up. With just a few minutes to go in the 4th, Nick tried to arm tackle a running back heading for the endzone. Nick made the tackle, but in that moment, things changed for him.

Nick dislocated his right shoulder and tore his labrum. As a "future sailor" we reported the injury to his recruiter first thing on Monday morning after the Friday night game. The news wasn’t good. Without surgery, Nick was going to be disqualified by the Navy. With the surgery, there was no guarantee that he would be accepted either.

Nick was in surgery within about 10 days of his injury. He sat out basketball and barely made it back for baseball in March, but by April, he was medically cleared to play. While at MEPS in Kansas City (Military Entrance Processing Station), Nick was told by their surgeon that he would not be cleared for entrance into the Navy. By the end of the experience, another Navy Surgeon gave Nick the waiver he needed to enter and within hours of being told he would be sent home and denied, he was swearing in.

The delay from the injury caused Nick to lose his place for jobs and he enlisted as an Airman Undesignated. His recruiter said that Nick would basically leave boot camp and be assigned a job, probably on a ship. It wasn’t a guarantee that he’d get anything close to what he wanted, but Nick was just happy to finally get in.

Nick’s first choice rating was RP (religious program specialist). Religious Program Specialists assist Navy chaplains. Religious program specialists provide support to Navy chaplains in developing programs to meet the needs of Navy, Marine Corps and Coast Guard personnel and their families.

Obviously, Airman Undesignated was far from Nick’s choice for jobs in the Navy, but within about 3 days of swearing in, his recruiter called to offer Nick the RP job. There are about 889 of these positions in the Navy and 424 currently serve with Marine units. This late in the cycle, it is very unusual for a position like this to open up and Nick jumped at the chance and signed a new contract.

From 1942 to 1945, the Navy adopted the Specialist "W" rate (the "W" stood for Welfare) to address the specific wartime needs of Chaplains serving in World War II. Specialist "W's were at that time required to: Perform clerical duties; play piano and organ for worship services; be competent musical directors; not expected to serve as religious leaders (just as it is today for RPs); and be willing to serve anywhere under any conditions.

RPs have a lot of responsibilities like maintaining records, helping prepare religious services on bases and ships, and probably stacking Bibles and setting up chairs. One of the main responsibilities will be providing physical security for chaplains during field exercises and in combat environments. In the Navy, chaplains are not allowed to carry firearms. This is where an RP comes into service. For this reason, after his basic training Nick will attend schooling for his job and then receive combat training, probably with the Marines.

All of this is pretty overwhelming and time is ticking.

Everything we discuss now revolves around time. I try to remind Nick that 4 years ago, he was trembling the night before his first high school football game. He would be on a special teams kick off unit and play varsity squad. He was terrified, but that experience resulted in building confidence in himself, playing more varsity and eventually being selected for CPL honors by his Sophomore year. We look at pictures of his niece and nephew’s birth and we reminisce about the time that has passed. We look, with anticipation and some anxiety towards the next few months and years that he’ll be away. We talk about missing our first Christmas together and probably his birthday in February.

It’s pretty overwhelming, but talking about it helps us understand the relevance of time. In four short years Nick will thinking about the time he just spent in the Navy and deciding on what to do about his future. Although 4 years seems so far away, my experience is that it will fly by.

 

KWIBS - From October 3, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

What if no one would be elected president this time around and we all promised real hard to just be cool?

Ok, so that’s probably not an option. Our options are: A) Donald Trump; B) Hillary Clinton; C) none of the above or in other words, Gary Johnson.

I keep using the phrase, "In my adult life", as in "I’ve never seen anything like this in my adult life."

It’s true. Somehow, two candidates, neither deserving to be the leader of the greatest nation in the world, have become our choices for president.

We’re actually getting a lesson in oligarchy (the small group of people having control of our country) by only having these choices for president and they are using fear to make us think we have a meaningful choice between these two candidates that are preselected for us.

In all my adult life (see, there I go again), I’ve never seen the selection process dwindle down to two people who are so unpopular. We don’t need to go into the details of why neither Trump or Clinton are worthy of the Oval Office. That just creates a storm of emails back to me trying to convince me that I am biased towards one candidate or another. I’m not. I dislike them equally at this point.

"But you’ll have Hillary for a president if you don’t vote for Trump," one of my friends told me.

Then the opposite of that is that we’ll have Trump for president if I do? I don’t want my seal of approval on that either.

It’s controlled opposition. I would only vote for one of these candidates because I dislike the other one even more. What happened to the America where you actually believe in your candidate’s platform.

The debates did nothing for me other than confirm what I already knew. Clinton was well prepared and avoided talking about anything that would catch her in a lie/crime. Trump was just himself - completely oblivious. The only motivating factor for me in this presidential race is the fact that somebody will appoint some supreme court justices...

KWIBS - From September 26, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I go to the state fair every year for a variety of reasons. Usually it revolves around a purchase for the ranch, food and music. We went on Friday, September 16.

This year is no different except for the fact that I brought home some nasty bug that laid me up for a few days with a fever, sore throat, cough and sniffles.

I attributed that to the many grubby children I saw running around picking their noses and touching things that I probably touched, and then picked my nose later.

Who doesn’t love a Pronto Pup?!? Me. That’s who. Who wants to spend their day at the fair running from bathroom to bathroom? Not me. That’s who. I had the lamb gyro. At least that’s what they claimed it was.

The first place Ronda and I stopped was to look at mowers and tractors. We’re approaching 22 years on one of our machines and you can always get a great deal at the fair. A man from Agri Center was there and showed us some of the newest New Hollands that are 0% for 84 months. I like free money. We talked for a while and he agreed to come look at our oldest machine and give us a trade quote. We shook on it and Tuesday would be the day.

Ronda and I moved from the heavy machinery (her least favorite part of the fair and my favorite) to the infomercial section... That’s what I call the merchant buildings. It’s like you can’t sleep and you’re up at 3 a.m. watching a commercial for a wondermop, only it’s like you fell back to sleep and had a bad dream where you have to walk isle after isle and look at everything that promises to revolutionize your life in some way.

Every year we walk by those jiggle-butt weight loss machines. I just like to stand there, watch and giggle, but I always get on one and I know someone behind me is giggling. (You know who I’m talking about Phil Hinz....) We also go past the dirty-foot-water booth. You know the one. It’s where you put your feet in warm water, they stick some electricity through it and you supposedly detox through your feet. Basically, it’s a scam, but my wife wanted to try it. I was tired, so sitting down with my feet in warm water was worth $20. Plus I got to make fun of the junk science the guy was trying to sell me.

After not spending $1,300 on this incredible machine that basically was my dirty feet in a rusty puddle of water made from the electrodes and salt, I made a mental note of how many strollers, wagons and scooters we had to maneuver around. I realize that I may need a scooter some day, but I didn’t that day and it was a pain in the butt. I didn’t want to stand in front of the amazing sun glasses cleaner any longer than I had to, but there were at least three scooters in front of us, probably stopped at the pretzel dip sample booth or getting their sun glasses cleaned.

I think they should have a special day at the fair for all strollers, wagons and scooters. They get in for free. Only those pulling, pushing or scooting are allowed in that day. Nobody walks. Or have a day where none of those are allowed at the fair and charge double! That’s the day I would go to the fair.

We finally made it out of there with most of our money intact (less $40 for the rusty foot water bath). That’s when we moved on to the grand finale of the evening: Lynard Skynard! That’s right. Ronda and I went to a concert where we were of the average age of our peers. This wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the fact that Bob and Valerie Slinkard couldn’t go and they had excellent seats! The concert was great!

We left and stopped at a small gas station on the south end of town. I said, "Look, there’s the band’s buses."

It was true. It was them. We’d watched them leave the same spot earlier in the day, saw the same buses at the show behind the stage and then followed them back to the same spot. While some call this stalking, I call it coincidence. I noticed there was a "bar and grill" sign on the hotel and I begged Ronda to pull in, much to her eye rolling. I’m just the kind of guy who would make an attempt at buying the band a round and trying to hang out with them. Hey, it worked at KISS a couple of months ago, if you remember.

We parked the truck, went inside and acted like I knew where we were going. We followed the signs around the corner and were met by a staff member of the hotel. He informed us that the bar was "closed" to the public that evening. I’m pretty sure I could have gotten passed this guy, but I wasn’t going to risk getting arrested out of town on a Friday night, so Ronda, being the sensible one of the two of us, grabbed my wrist and we left.

I was so close.

So Tuesday rolled around and I never heard from the tractor guy. I should have known there is no such thing as free money. Wednesday I finally got a call from the tractor guy. He was on his way out and apologized for the day-late delay.

As it turns out, he fell ill late on Friday of the fair and had to go home and start a round of antibiotics for some nasty bug he picked up..... I apologize to all grubby, nose picking kids at the fair for accusing them of making me sick.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 19, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their country.

I used to type that over and over and over...

Betty Frisbie worked for my Grandpa Bill, Uncle Gary and finally my dad way back in the old newspaper days.

As a way to keep me busy, Betty would load a sheet of paper into an old manual type writer and make me type that over and over again. I got pretty fast.

By the time I took typing in high school, I was probably faster than my teacher Anita Hughbanks.

I know I am faster than former MLHS teacher Dale McCurdy. We raced once. He says he won, but he made a lot of mistakes while typing that phrase.

Kids now days don’t seem to type as quickly or accurately as I did as a kid. Of course, now everything is done on tiny phones with small QWERTY keyboards using your thumbs.

That being said, they can type just about as fast on those screens as I can on a full size keyboard. That doesn’t go the same for my typing skills with my thumbs. For some dumb reason I can’t hit the space bar. I always hit the "N" and all my words run together on my phone.

And auto correct... Oh how I hate you auto correct.

You can get yourself into a lot of trouble by not proofing what you read before you send it...

"are you coming to my new years party?"

"Of course - I will be there."

"ok cool because ia m going to kill you at midnight."

"Ok on 2nd thought maybe I won’t go."

"haha. i mean i’m going to kiss you at midnight."

"hello? sorry....."

Havengreatnweek!

 

KWIBS - From September 12, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Not many people know this about me, but I’m a pretty decent mechanic.

Maybe decent isn’t the right word.

I’m actually very good at breaking things, figuring out what I broke, finding out what it will cost to fix it and then determining whether or not I have the skill to fix it. In many cases, I’m very good at finding someone to fix it.

So, I’m a shade tree mechanic.

I had issues last week that all involved batteries. It’s like I upset the gods of voltage last week and had problems with electrical systems on four different machines. That’s not including the remote control batteries not working in my TV.

First it was Nick’s (youngest son’s) truck. He parked at the bank, went in, came out and his truck wouldn’t start. He walked to the office and said, "Dad, my truck is dead. It won’t start. It’s junk and I probably need a new one."

Nick is my "jump to conclusion" kid. If it isn’t running, it’s junk, broken and needing replaced

After I asked him what it did, I decided it was probably a battery cable. I grabbed a 1/2" wrench out of my truck, tightened the terminals and all was right with the world.

Next, "Farm Truck" died. I lovingly refer to our old truck as "Farm Truck" even though we don’t farm. It’s an older F350 dually that we use on the ranch to haul the trailer and mowers around. Nick had parked it and backed the mower off. When he returned several hours later, "Farm Truck" wouldn’t start. I determined it was a battery issue. We charged the battery up at the shed, put it back in "Farm Truck" and it started right up. We hauled the mower and trailer up to the house. All was right with the world.

Only it wasn’t....

"Farm Truck" was dead the next morning. I decided to back the mower off the trailer to disconnect the trailer and reconnect it to another vehicle. Strangely the mower battery was too weak to start the mower to back it off the trailer. So I grabbed a jump start battery pack I keep in my truck. It was dead too.

After some head scratching, I pulled both batteries and put them on the charger.

After a few hours, I put the battery back in the mower and it was up and running. Nick was able to mow for about 2 hours before the blades wouldn’t engage. Then the engine wouldn’t start.

Curse you voltage gods....

I can make a long story even longer, but when it came down to it, the mower needed a new battery after 4 years and the "Farm Truck" was just a problem of not getting the ignition turned all the way off. We just recently started leaving the keys in it.... (Thanks to Lane at Mike’s Service for figuring that out.)

Lastly, over Labor Day weekend Joey (my oldest son) had some friends down from college to ride our jetskis.

On one turn, the jetski just quit and two of his friends were stranded for a quite a while until Joey went and towed them back to the dock.

When I checked, there was no power to the dash. I knew it had to be a lose battery cable because I just put new batteries in both skis. That was pretty much my modus operandi for the week. I popped the hood, pulled out my handy 1/2" wrench, that I now just keep in my front right pocket, tightened things up and she started right up! All was right with the world.

Don’t tell my sons, they both think I’m a decent mechanic.

 

KWIBS - From September 5, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Hey, if you see Summer, let her know Spring has been squatting on her time.

I’ve been so happy to see all the rain these past few weeks. It’s crazy to think that just 2 years ago we were praying daily for some sort of moisture. Now, it’s like a tropical jungle in some parts of the county.

With all that rain, we keep mowers running near around the clock at our place.

I bet you’d agree with me that it’s been one heck of a year for mowing the lawn and like most, you’re tired of cutting the grass. I’ll bet you’re not as tired as we are.

I’m sort of a statistics nerd, but in looking back from the time the mowing season started, three of us at Lake Arrowhead have logged just over 600 hours of mowing so far this season. That breaks down into 180 blades sharpened and/or replaced, 20 oil and filter changes (50 quarts of oil and 20 filters), 220 gallons of gasoline and 250 gallons of diesel used and more than $1,000 in repairs and another $6,000 in labor. That’s mowing almost 200 acres of recreation areas, roads and lots. We get done mowing just in time to start over at the beginning almost every 5 days with a 2 day break, if we’re lucky! It’s been an unusually busy season this year.

That should make you feel better about mowing your lawn!

Many of those hours were logged by Josh Ybarra and my son Nick Noland. These guys have mowed their butts off this summer, literally in one instance. I had to replace a seat on one of the mowers after Nick wore it out!

Thank you Josh and Nick for helping us keep things looking so nice this year. I’ve never seen a year like this where it’s been so green and lush.

As I hurry and finish this, I’m leaving early on another Wednesday to go out and do some more mowing!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 22, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Throughout life you meet people, and if you’re like me, you categorize them into acquaintances and "keepers". MT Main was in my "keeper" file.

Born Marion Tackle, MT and I met back in 2004 at the fitness center. At 74 years young, MT and I would do the tread mill and weights together.

A year later our band Dorfus CrackTractor formed. Justin Rugg, David Fasgold and I would practice in the back of my office. MT asked if it would be OK if he attended practices and we were fine with it.

He’d compliment or criticize what songs he liked or disliked and why. We actually took his advice. We even decided that we’d call him our "Manager". His only responsibility would be to show up and follow us around, but he was our biggest fan. MT actually road the bus to different venues we played at and he’d be the last one standing, helping us put our equipment away.

Even after the band stopped playing, MT kept up his friendship. Ronda and I brought him out to our lake and introduced him to jetskis. MT loved riding the jetskis. At almost 80, he’d climb on and mash the throttle and keep up with people half of his age. He was incredible and a blast to be around.

He confessed once that hanging out with us made him feel young. Making jokes about his age were fine with him. He once told a story about working for the telegraph company and one of us asked, "Was that right after you quit the pony express?"

We always ribbed MT and we always got a laugh out of him.

After a few years, MT’s health began to decline and he wanted to be closer to his family in Wisconsin. He stopped in the office and started out the conversation about moving with one of his signature statements, "I hope you’re not mad, but I’m going to move closer to my daughter in Monroe."

MT kept in touch and called once a month to check on his friends. A few months before he died he wanted me to know he had cancer and may not have much time left. He thanked me for our friendship and it was sincere and really touched me. MT was a "Keeper" and I was honored to be his friend.

His daughter called me last week. She had found my name and number in a book that he’d written in. He asked her that if anything happened to him, that someone call his friends in Kansas to let them know. My name was in his book. That made me smile.

 

KWIBS - From August 15, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I’m usually too busy for any scheduled TV. I leave one on in my office to hear the news as it breaks, but lately that’s just been boring jabs from presidential candidates.

So when a buddy of mine asked if I was watching the Olympics, I had to confess that I had forgotten they were even on. So, no, at that time I had not watched a single minute of the Olympics.

While eating dinner the other night,women’s sand volleyball came on and I happened to catch that. I have to admitt, this is more of a late night Showtime event, but I see the athleticism in it. After that, I finally made an effort last week to watch some of the swimming events. I wasn’t as impressed as the womens sand volleyball.

My phone rang and I paused a mens swimming event and for the next 20 minutes while on the phone, this is what I had to look at....

 

KWIBS - From August 8, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Nothing lasts forever, but even when you know it’s going to end and have been prepared for a month, you just aren’t ready.

But it’s not really an end. It’s just a date we’ve marked on the calendar that is Doris’s last day working here. We celebrated it last Friday with some gifts, cake and some laughs.

Bittersweet is the dumbest term I’ve ever heard of, but it’s true in this moment. We are so happy for Doris that she’ll be able to do many of the things in life that she’s wanted to do, but we are also so full of sadness that she’s leaving.

You couldn’t possibly understand our office unless you’ve worked here as long as Doris and she didn’t come here by much of her own choice. Way back (17.5 years ago) I had met Doris around town and knew of her work at Myrlen Bell’s office and then at Alco. She was smart, articulate and very friendly. I had to have her come work for me.

One day she walked passed our office and Ronda said, "Hey, there is that lady you’ve been talking about!"

We had been searching for the right person to add to our staff and I ran out the door after her. I think I sort of freaked her out by telling her quite bluntly, "I want you to come work for us!"

She actually didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either. A few days later, she accepted the offer and has become many things to us over the years, most importantly a friend.

She is replaceable, but only up to a point of work. There will be an empty place in our hearts. She’s always had a pretty great sense of humor, patience for me and my office pranks, done almost anything for us with minimal grumbling and eye-rolling and has always had our backs - in good times and in bad.

She said it best last week when she said, "This isn’t good-bye."

We know Doris will bless others like she’s blessed us for the past 17+ years. Ronda and I are so excited to welcome Brenda Head to the family. We’re already discovering she can tolerate us and our hectic schedules and wacky sense of humor! We know she’s a little overwhelmed, but we are confident in her!

KWIBS - From August 1, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Last week, I checked Facebook early in the morning and discovered a friend request from someone I actually knew.

I accepted the request and noticed that I had just then hit 1,000 friends. I thought, no way... So I looked again, and sure enough, there were 1,000 names in my Facebook collection.

Thinking this was just too many and I couldn’t possibly know all these people, I logged in with intentions to thin out the herd.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t find one person to delete. I pretty much knew or liked everyone in my friends list!

Now, to be fair, some of these people are folks that I bonded out of jail through my other business and it’s a nice way to keep track and be able to contact them, but the others were ACTUAL friends, so I kind of "collect them"!

How blessed is the man with friends! Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

Sometimes Facebook is full of trouble, but most of the time I find my friends posting photos of their life events, children, spouses and just funny stories.

Speaking of friends, I got a full dose of them during the last couple of weeks. Ronda and I went to Amarillo over a week ago to take our niece and nephew back and met up with Kyle and DeDe Vick. They met us half way from New Mexico. We love this little rendezvous because it allows us to stop and see Dale and Michele McCurdy! We had a great evening of catching up before heading home. I had to get back to pick up Nix White from the airport the very next day. On Monday, Nix and I hooked up with Mike Traffas, a fellow classmate, and took in the KISS concert.

It’s great having friends!

Our first KISS...

Before you read any further and roll your eyes, please understand this story isn’t about me bragging or being star struck, it’s about an experience I recently had that turned out to be nothing like I expected it to be.

Sometime during the last week of June, my friend Nix White called and asked if I wanted to go and see KISS in concert in Wichita on July 25th. Nix and I graduated from MLHS together in 1988 and we’ve made a point to get together as frequently as possible and "make some memories."

I have to be honest, and I was with Nix, I wasn’t a huge KISS fan. Admittedly, my very first Columbia House record order was KISS’s "Love Gun" in 1977. It was on 8-Track. I later bought "Lick it Up" in 1983 on cassette, but I’m sure that both of those are in a box somewhere in my garage or ended up in the trash after digital music became more popular.

I love live music, so it was easy to say YES to Nix to go to the concert. Little did I realize at the time that Nix was friends with KISS frontman Gene Simmon’s Personal Assistant - "Dave."

I learned later through some text messages that Nix was working a deal on some backstage passes. Nix always has some crazy connection to somebody. As a retired Navy SEAL and FrogX parachutist, Nix has met some interesting people in his life.

I had sort of forgotten all about the invitation to KISS from Nix until I got a phone call from him as I was traveling to Amarillo, TX just over a week ago.

"Hey man, I’ll be flying into Wichita on Sunday. You ready to see and meet KISS," he asked?

I was a little dumbfounded, but realized he was serious.

"Make sure you bring a record album or something. You’ll get an opportunity to have them sign whatever you want," Nix explained.

After a little more discussion and planning, I realized I had nothing to bring for the band to sign, so I put out an urgent request on Facebook. Claudia and David Vollbracht came to my rescue with the "Destroyer" album. When I got back from Texas, I went straight to their house and got that album.

The next day Nix’s flight arrived right on time and I picked him up at the airport and we met up with another classmate from MLHS’s class of 1988, Mike Traffas. Nix had made a last minute arrangement to get Mike in on the deal of going to KISS.

The last time I had seen Mike was last year at his brother Dan’s funeral. It wasn’t good circumstances that we met up and we didn’t have much time to visit, so this opportunity was perfect to catch up on what had been going on in his life for the past 30 years over lunch.

You have to rewind three decades to understand that Mike was an unlikely candidate to go to KISS with Nix and me. Nix and I wore parachute pants in the 80s, break danced, listened to rock music and had long hair. Mike would have been found in cowboy boots, wearing his cowboy hat and probably listening to Hank Williams, Jr at a nearby rodeo. We just weren’t "close" in high school, but finding out he was right there in Wichita, Nix really wanted to get together, and he couldn’t have picked a better person to take along.

We made arrangements to pick up Mike the next day and Nix and I came back to Medicine Lodge for a quick excursion out to our lake for some jetski time and then a quick visit to his former hometown of Medicine Lodge. The last time he was here, you might remember him landing on the football field and on Main Street with giant flag after he jumped out of a helicopter during Peace Treaty.

Monday, we got up and began the day that will forever change my impression of KISS.

After picking up Mike and making a quick lunch stop we arrived at Intrust Bank Arena at about 2:30 p.m. I had a contact there and reached out to "Kandace" for some special parking and a tour of the arena for me and my buddies. We actually name-dropped her and got to park right next to the security gate!

When we got to the area east of the arena we were met by a nice young man in a black security outfit who worked for Martin Security. Nix’s contact had given him instructions we were coming and that he would meet us at the security entrance. We parked and within a few minutes a gentlemen came out of the gates and welcomed us. "Dave" was a unique character.

He led us into a large lot full of semi trucks and black tour buses where he stopped at the first one and entered a security code that opened up the bus door. Inside was like a small office setting with big screen TVs and food and beverages. We sat down and Nix began catching up with Dave. Mike and I just sort of looked around and at each other, not believing we were actually doing this. People came in and out of the bus bringing in more food, getting instructions from Dave and picking up radios and other equipment. After a few minutes of small talk, Dave became very personal to both Mike and me and we got to know each other. After about an hour on the bus, Dave handed each of us wrist bands and, an honest to God "back stage, all access pass" with KISS on the front. I couldn’t get that thing around my neck fast enough.

We exited the bus and entered Intrust Bank Arena from a place I had never been before. Inside and past security were forklifts and people working like ants on a mission. There was a lot of commotion and Dave yelled, "You guys can go anywhere you want. I just ask that you stay off the stage and don’t go into the guys’ dressing rooms!"

Dave pointed out where the band would greet us and he disappeared into his madness of being Gene Simmon’s personal assistant.

Just seconds later, several Segwick County Sheriff cars led a convoy of Black Lincoln Navigators into the garage area where we were standing and out pops original members Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons and newer band members Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer. After some high-fives and handshakes, they grabbed some instruments and did a quick, up close and personal, very impromptu, 30 minute concert for about 30-40 fans waiting in the hallway.

My friend Kandace showed up and watched with us before we took our tour of the Intrust Bank Arena.

Here’s where every preconceived notion I ever had about the band KISS went out the window. There was no make up, there were no drugs and girls weren’t throwing themselves at the guys. It was just some really happy guys meeting some really happy fans. I felt a little out of my element. After KISS put their instruments back up, they came over and talked and signed autographs. Then the fans were escorted out the door and there we were with KISS and their crew. Since they had things to take care of before their concert that night (like putting on their make up and costumes, we went with Kandace and began our tour of the facility.

Nix and Mike hadn’t been there, so we took the personal tour and stopped in the suites to visit and rest for a minute. When we went back down stairs, Gene Simmons came out of a room in the hall, grabbed me and Kandace and yelled, "Group Hug!" Gene is a huge guy and my face and Kandace’s face ended up buried in his chest as he nearly crushed us to death, laughing the entire time. As we roamed the halls we would run into Gene, Paul, Tommy and Eric. It got to the point where it was really no big deal. We were just all there waiting for a concert to begin.

Gene was the funny one. At least 3 times during passing him in the hall, he would reach into his bag on his hip and throw handfuls of guitar picks at us. Later in the evening, he showed us how he could, with precision accuracy, launch a guitar pick and hit someone almost 40 feet away. It was just crazy. And yes, his tongue is that large (you’ve been dying to know, but that’s not what this story is about).

When we finished the tour, Dave sent Nix a text saying that the hospitality room was ready and we should come down for some food and beverages. My mind went crazy here. This is probably where the sex, drugs and rock-n-roll would be. I thought there would be some finger foods, sandwiches, chips and tons of alcohol, because that’s what rock bands eat and drink, right? Wrong.... We walked into a very nice buffet line with things like BBQ-Watermelon-Chicken-Legs, roasted pork and potatoes, baked squash and not a single drop of alcohol to be found.... and no, no drugs. There were men, children and ladies, presumably family members and staff in the room and everyone was talking and enjoying their meal. We sat down at a table and I had one fantastic, very normal meal!

So we were about 15 minutes out from the opening act to start and we just sort of hung out back stage. There was a lot of activity and we met some nice people. One guy was bouncing a ball off the wall and talking to a giant security guy. I walked by and said, "Hey man!" He said "hi" and while Nix and Mike went to the restroom, I learned that he was Caleb Johnson, season 13 "American Idol" winner. His set list was taped to a console backstage and I snapped a photo of it.

The plan from Dave was that when Caleb began performing, we would meet at section 112 for the opportunity of a photo with KISS in their full costumes and makeup. We’d have one final opportunity to talk with the guys after the fan club ran through their meet and greet and photo session. We had a different color of wrist band and passes than everyone else and we ended up in a group of about 15 people and began small talk with them. One lady and her 7 year old son had come from Switzerland by invitation of KISS’s tour manager. The young boy was pretty excited. His English was excellent, but hers, not so much, but we enjoyed talking with them. She accidentally got into KISS’s dressing room and was promptly ushered out.

I had read about KISS and putting on their makeup: "We had to go through torture to perfect the process of putting it on", Paul Stanley said. "I can remember plenty of times when I blinded myself with black eye make-up... In the beginning, the white was a zinc oxide cream which you can buy in any pharmacy. We didn't know what we were doing; we just wanted white faces...and the zinc oxide beat spraying ourselves with white paint. We eventually worked our way up to what's called 'clown white.' The two best brands are made by Stein's and Max Factor... At first, the black was Maybelline waterproof eyeliner, but it would crack because it's only meant to draw a line around your eye, not a whole star. Now we use black grease sticks, which are a more solid form of greasepaint."

After what I imagined was a few minutes of a grueling process of putting makeup on four men, we were ushered into a locker room / bathroom and down a short hallway to a room with a large KISS banner. In the room was a photographer, a security guard as big as a gorilla and a group of veterans with the local chapter of Wichita’s American Legion, including their families.

Some classic KISS music was pumped into the room through a small PA and folks started cheering. In walks KISS.... now about a foot taller than when I first met them, due to the platform shoes, in full costume and makeup. You couldn’t help but feel the excitement as they greeted the veterans and lined us all up for photos with the band. Gene squeezed my neck just before our photo. With their makeup and costumes on, they took on the persona of larger-than-life comic book-style characters.

Again, after the fan club people were finished, they were herded out to the left and Dave told us, "Go to the right and wait in the hallway." So Mike, Nix and I were standing in the hallway when this very pretty girl walks up to me and asks, "Are you Kevin Noland?" I blubbered out a "yes" and she explained why she was looking for me. Her husband’s band "Saving Abel" toured with my friends in "Aranda". She had been texting Gabe Aranda and he told her I was there and what I was wearing. She came looking for me and we took a selfie together and sent it to him.

Just then Paul Stanley and Tommy Thayer walk out and give us high-fives and make some small talk as they head towards the back of the stage entrance. Eric Singer, the drummer, walked up and got right in my face and started talking and asking me what I do for a living and how I ended up backstage with KISS. I gave him the Cliff Notes version. We had a few laughs and I asked him if it would be OK to video him with my phone and he was all cool about it.

In the video, I asked him to say hello to Sheriff Justin Rugg. He does and then grabs Gene Simmons as he walked past and got Gene Simmons to say hello to Justin as well. I texted that off to Justin. We spoke with Gene and Eric for a few more minutes and then we were directed towards an exit, which actually turned out to be an entrance to the back of KISS’s stage. We followed the band through the doors and the lights went off in the arena. I heard a loud bass hum that roared through the speakers. KISS walked up the stairs and we turned stage right, through a winding maize of computers, power amps and cords. When we emerged, we were in front of the stage.

That was the last contact we had with any of the band or any staff members that night, besides the occasional arm grabbing by security guards, which were brushed off when they saw our credentials.

KISS’s concert was really pretty incredible. I knew most of the music and I watched the show. I realized instantly how much these guys like to perform. The stage show featured fire breathing, fake blood-spitting, smoking and smashing guitars, shooting rockets, levitating drum kits, a center stage that was reached by pulley and harness systems and pyrotechnics that rival most 4th of July’s. It was pretty amazing to watch.

What I really took away from this show:

Not one curse word was uttered by the band.

KISS brought children up on stage to perform with them and gave them gifts.

I never saw or heard anything inappropriate in their behavior.

KISS took a break during the show to bring up the American Legion on stage to present them with a check for $150,000 to help wounded soldiers and their families; and honored all area veterans.

They asked us all to place our hands over our hearts and say the "Pledge of Allegiance".

Then they played the "Star Spangled Banner".

They closed with "Rock And Roll All Night." This is where Nix, Mike and I probably had the most fun. We were standing at the back of the room by this time, near a giant confetti machine that shot hundreds of pounds of paper into the air. The guy running the machines was having a blast shooting this stuff into the crowd and even throwing handfuls of it at us. We would pick it up and throw at each other and back at him and we laughed all the way out to the truck. I still have pieces of confetti in my truck.

This was a really cool experience; one I am probably never to see again in my lifetime. It was great to reconnect with Mike and spend the day with a couple of classmates. I can’t thank Nix enough for the invite and hope you enjoyed reading about my day with friends and ......KISS.

 

KWIBS - From July 25, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I’ll be first to formally announce it, but you’ll be reading about it in the weeks to come. Doris Sorg is leaving the paper in a couple of weeks.

Doris has been with us for over 17 years.

So it came as a shock, but not a bad shock, that she told us over a week ago now that she would be winding this chapter of her life down.

She’ll go into her own details of what her plans for the future are soon, but I can tell you that Ronda and I are sad she’s leaving and at the same time, happy that she’s going to do some things in life she’s always wanted to do.

When you spend as much time together as Doris, Ronda and I have, you get into a pretty comfortable routine and you really get to know a person. We’ve shared many milestones: children going off to war, children getting married, becoming grandparents, experiencing the death of parents and grandparents - and so many more life events. 17+ years of friendship have made a bond unbreakable by an employee-employer relationship.

Over the years there have been some great office antics that have happened at the Premiere, pretty much on a daily basis. One of my favorite office pranks is the air horn. When you least expect it, I blow an air horn in the office. I do this strictly for the scream factor! Another one of my favorite pranks was when I hid in the new recycling bins from Nisly that were dropped off at our office and jumped out when Doris came in.

She’s handled me pretty well over the years. If anyone has ever had a reason to quit their job because of the working environment, it would be Doris. Instead of all the times she should have quit, she would either punch me or karate kick me. I’m going to miss those times.

I’ve barely touched on what wonderful thing she has done for us over the years, but they are too many to put in such a small space. Doris, know we love you and appreciate you.

You’re probably wondering who is going to replace her? Well, through answered prayer and a great stroke of luck, we will be introducing that new lady next week!

 

KWIBS - From July 18, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve noticed Pokémon Go is a phenomenon both ruining and… saving the world? In less than a week, the game has taken the world by storm, bringing Nintendo shares up by 25% and even beating out Tinder as one of the most popular mobile apps. Basically: people love Pokémon more than.... well, real love!

If you thought your kid or friends spent too much time looking at their cell phone screens already, there’s a new reason for them to get a kink in their necks.

It started at my house last week. Nick, my youngest son (18) calls at 11:30 p.m. one night and asks, "Hey, me and some friends *13 of them* want to go to Kiowa to a gym and take it over. Is that ok?"

I said, "Of course that’s not OK. What they heck are you talking about?"

So I get a 15 minute lecture that was mostly, "blah, blah pokestops, blah blah level up, blah, blah gyms, battle and I think I finally fell asleep around the discussion of Hyper Potion."

So the 13 or so kids from Medicine Lodge on the "red team" walked the main street of Kiowa that night, doing battle and taking over their gym there, stacking it with their Pokémon that they conveniently called "ML".

So the new Mason-Dixon line for Barber County has been drawn in the digital world of Pokemon. Kids now gather in small packs across the street from the Methodist Church in Medicine Lodge, battling each other. It’s everywhere.

I thought this was cute: This is a public notice that anyone caught hunting Pokemon on M-Bar Ranch or Lake Arrowhead property without written permission will be prosecuted to fullest extent of the law. We have been hand raising some top performers for years, their bloodlines are unprecedented and well sought after. If you would like to lease the property for next year, we are having a lottery draw and we will issue tags. All Pokemon caught must be checked in for our personal records.

Game Management

KWIBS - From July 11, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I’m amused and annoyed by the confusion most people have about a candidate running for office.

You know, I hear things. People talk about this candidate or that candidate, but most are completely unaware of the facts and many times candidates are completely misrepresented. Sometimes, they’re completely dishonest.

Politics is an ugly thing.

I gave the political world a whirl several years ago, filing for county commissioner. I learned really fast that people are not what they appear when it comes to running for public office.

It doesn’t always happen this way on a local level, but the phrase, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely" does scare the *you know what* out of me. Power can go to your head.

From my experience as a candidate, everyone starts out with well meaning intentions. Unfortunately, outside influences usually seeking favors can tarnish good people who become politically motivated. Public service often turns into benefit packages. Those in power forget who they are serving.

I can honestly say that after the 2012 election, I saw good things from the gentleman I ran against. Bill Smith became the county commissioner in early 2013 after beating both me and Bob Packard for District 3. He’s done a good job for Barber County. Early on, I had ambitions to run against him again this year, but after seeing that his heart was in it and he had good intentions, I believe supporting him is the better decision for the county. Maybe I will give it a whirl again someday.

We’re not in the best of times, mostly because of real property and oil valuations on the decline. I know that our commissioners are trying very hard to balance budgets and keep our county’s momentum going through support for economic development and keeping taxes under control. That’s not an easy task given the state is also in financial trouble.

My advice to all the candidates is, "Keep it above board." Taking cheap shots and being malicious won’t gain you the respect of voters. At least not this one.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 4, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

The tradition of Independence Day celebrations goes back to the 18th century and the American Revolution.

The day was only officially declared a federal holiday in 1941.

In June 1776, representatives of the 13 colonies then fighting in the revolutionary struggle weighed a resolution that would declare their independence from Great Britain. Actually, on July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of independence, and two days later its delegates adopted the Declaration of Independence, a historic document drafted by Thomas Jefferson. From 1776 until the present day, July 4th has been celebrated as the birth of American independence.

John Adams believed that July 2nd was the correct date on which to celebrate the birth of American independence, and would reportedly turn down invitations to appear at July 4th events in protest. Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on July 4, 1826--the 50th anniversary of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence.

On July 2nd, the Continental Congress voted in favor of the resolution for independence. On that day, John Adams wrote to his wife Abigail that July 2 "will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary festival" and that the celebration should include "Pomp and Parade…Games, Sports, Guns (yes, guns...), Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other." On July 4th, the Congress formally adopted the Declaration of Independence, which had been written largely by Jefferson. Though the vote for actual independence took place on July 2nd, from then on the 4th became the day that was celebrated as the birth of American independence.

Whatever day you celebrate, remember that we don’t always agree on everything, but we did agree then, and should now, that we have to be a free people. More oppressive laws and less individual rights is what lead to the first revolution and that is what this country was founded on.

 

KWIBS - From June 27, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

PERSHAGEN, Sweden, June 23 (UPI) -- Audible flatulence resulted in one Swedish soccer player being ejected early during a lower-league match.

The Guardian reports that Pershagen SK defender Adam Lindin Ljungkvist, 25, was given a red card and sent out of a match against Järna SK's reserve team after the referee determined that his fart was "deliberate provocation" and "unsportsmanlike behavior."

"I had a bad stomach, so I simply let go," Ljungkvist said. "Then I received two yellow cards and then red. Yes, I was shocked, it's the strangest thing I have ever experienced in football."

Kristoffer Linde, who was playing on the opposite team of Ljungkvist, also admitted to the bizarre nature of the call but said he was able to hear the fart from his position on the field.

"I was standing a good distance away but I heard the fart loud and clear," Linde said. "It's the strangest thing I've seen on a pitch, and I've been playing football since I was eight years old."

Ljungkvist said he asked the referee why he was being penalized for his decision to "break wind a little" during the game and determined the referee must have believed he directed his flatulence at the opponent intentionally, according to Vice Sports.

"I can only surmise that he thinks I did it up against an opponent, but to provoke someone with a fart would be pretty bizarre," he said. "I just did a perfectly innocent fart, and got sent off for it."

Referee Dany Kako confirmed Ljungkvist's suspicions and stated he handed out a similar punishment in an incident that involved a player urinating on the field.

"I perceived it as deliberate provocation," Kako said. "He did it on purpose and it was inappropriate. Therefore, he received a yellow card."

Pershagen SK and Ljungkvist eventually lost the game 5-2 and he expressed his displeasure with the call to Kako after the game.

"To provoke anyone with a fart is not particularly smart or normal. It's nonsense – I just broke wind and got a red card," he said. "I spoke to the referee afterwards, I was annoyed, but there were no bad words. I just said he was a buffoon."

KWIBS - From June 20, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I’m a man.

I consider myself pretty brave in most circumstances.

In comes a spider...

Now spiders freak me out and you can bet that any time I have an encounter with one and I see it first, I’m yelling for my wife to kill it.

But my wife wasn’t at the office on Thursday afternoon. Thank the Lord, White’s Foodliner Manager Norm Clouse was.

We were talking and I happened to look up and see this giant spider on my ceiling in my office. Norm saw it too. I have 12 foot ceilings, so I was not able to reach this spider and convinced Norm that he could reach it with a broom handle (because he was at least 6 inches taller than me).

The plan was simple: Knock it down and kill it.

The first part of our plan went flawlessly. Norm knocked it down, but it landed on my desk and immediately took up a defensive position behind some of my manly NRA magazines. We could see him, and I assumed with all of his 8 eyes, he could see us as well.

I decided that I would use some reverse psychology on the spider and approach him from the opposite direction and sort of herd him out into the open where Norm would be waiting to smack him with the broom handle. We got into position.

You should always have a plan and stick to the plan. For some reason, Norm decided to stick his hand in there too and the spider got confused. Long story short, the spider went in several directions; Norm and I bounced off of each other, knocked some things off my desk and screamed like a couple of teenage girls.

There stood the spider. Unscathed.

We regrouped and took an assessment of our well being. We were fine. I took my desk name plate and crushed the spider.

We are men, hear us scream.....

 

KWIBS - From June 13, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

This is a big week for us. A page turned, a volume number and an issue changed over on the front page.

We’re 25 years old.

Ronda and I officially started this newspaper in July of 1991. Like a couple of loose chains, we skipped a cog somewhere back in volume 2 or 3 and we ended up at 25 this week - two weeks early. Someone should research when that happened. So we’re 1,300 issues into this adventure. A few of you have been subscribers since day one and we appreciate that! A couple of famous longtime subscribers include Martina McBride and my buddy, retired Navy Seal, Nix White.

Here’s a nice transition....

I was on the phone with Nix White on Tuesday around 4:30 p.m. He called to congratulate my family for my son’s swearing in to the United States Navy.

My son raised his right hand on Tuesday after two days of MEPS in Kansas City. Nix was a pretty big influence in his life. Graduating from MLHS in 1988, Nix went off to Illinois for his basic training, just like Nick will. He’s always been there to encourage Nick.

Both Nix and Nick had and have a lot in common. Both were good athletes, about the same height and weight, average academics.... but most importantly, they both have big hearts to achieve big things in life!

Nix is now retired from the Navy and has a son of his own entering the Marines. It’s crazy to think our kids could be serving together somewhere in the world side by side at some point. It’s a real possibility.

I’d also like to wish my wife a Happy Anniversary! On June 17th, we’ll celebrate 28 years! I love you Ronda. :)

Have a great week! Congratulations Nick! And, thank you to our readers for 25 years!

 

KWIBS - From June 6, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

While the world was in an uproar with the killing of Harambe, apparently the world’s most gentle Gorilla, no one even noticed Lobby Joe’s great rescue and escape.

The lobster’s long voyage began when he was spotted sitting alone in a tank in a northern Ontario supermarket, by Christine Loughead. Perhaps because she was a vegan, she found the crustacean’s probable fate unbearable. "It weighed on my psyche more and more," she told the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

Then it dawned on her. "It’s not too late to help. He’s alive."

Loughead bought the lobster for C$20.23 ($15.46), not exactly sure what she would do next. She took it home, telling it: "You are now not dinner," and naming it Lobby Joe. Cutting off the thick rubber bands around its claws, she put it in a saltwater tank in her home.

An online search suggested the lobster had probably been plucked out of the waters near Nova Scotia. Loughead reached out to an online vegan community in the area, appealing for help to release the lobster back into the ocean if she could find a way to get it to Halifax, some 3,000 kilometres away from Red Lake.

Her call was answered by Beth Kent, the founder of a local animal shelter in Bridgewater, a small town about an hour’s drive from Halifax.

Now Loughead had to figure out how to get the lobster to Kent. She called around; the nearest courier that would ship live animals was in Winnipeg, a six-hour drive from her town.

Loughead packed the lobster in a Styrofoam box padded with wet newspaper and cold packs, placing the box gingerly in the back seat and fastening the seat belt around it. The cost of shipping was C$225 ($172) while gas for the journey came to around C$160 ($122.30).

After 24 hours in transit, the box arrived in Nova Scotia. As Kent gently wrestled wet newspaper from the grasp of its claws, she told Lobby Joe: "Life is going to get better, OK?"

Kent first went to the site where she had planned to release the lobster, but hastily changed plans after spotting a fishing boat on the horizon. She instead released the lobster in a small cove. "There he goes, there he goes," Kent said excitedly as the lobster scrambled over the rocks.

Meanwhile, over 480,000 people had signed a petition on change.org called "Justice for Harambe" after the 17-year-old male Western Lowland Gorilla was put down last week after a 4 year boy fell into his enclosure.

For the record, I like my children alive and my lobster with melted butter.

Have a great week insane world!

 

KWIBS - From May 30, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

A positive person anticipates happiness, health and success, and believes he or she can overcome any obstacle and difficulty.

This describes my Uncle Gary Noland perfectly.

On a recent trip to Texas, we stopped and celebrated my Uncle Gary’s 73rd birthday with him and my Aunt Millie. Many of you will remember Gary from his Index days here in Medicine Lodge. He’s been in California and Montana and finally landed in Fort Worth many years ago.

My Uncle is a positive thinking person. He’s been through quite a few trials in his life. Almost 12 years ago, he was told he would die of colon cancer. He beat that and has lived a productive and healthy life since.

He was weak and tired during our visit, but positive. After we got home and a few days had passed, he called to tell me that he was in the hospital and was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer.

He was told with treatment, he might have a year, but he is positive.

Positive thinking is not accepted by everyone. Some, consider it as nonsense, and scoff at people who follow it, but I believe there is real power there.

"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." - Proverbs 17:22

My Uncle Gary had confessed he’d not been feeling well for quite a while and our visit made him laugh and he felt so good the next day.

I felt good too. We always have a good laugh when we’re together. I’m blessed to have so many family members close by. I wish he lived closer, but I am sure we’ll get back to see him soon, so I can spend more time with my Uncle Gary.

We’ll share some good medicine together.

Try it, you might find it works well.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 23, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Use whatever bathroom best fits your identity. That was the big story last week. Nothing trumped that - pun intended.

A letter the administration sent to school districts was signed by officials at the Justice Department and the Department of Education. A copy was posted on the Department of Justice’s website.

While the letter does not have the force of law, it does warn that schools that do not abide by the administration’s interpretation of civil rights under the Title IX law may face lawsuits or loss of federal aid.

"There is no room in our schools for discrimination of any kind, including discrimination against transgender students on the basis of their sex," Attorney General Loretta Lynch said in a statement.

First, let me say that I understand that since the beginning of time there have been men and women who have trouble with identifying their gender. The parts might be there, but they may not have developed a male or female brain.

There’s lots of science and solid clinical evidence for the chromosomal, anatomical and hormonal variations which lead some men to be "girly" and some girls to be "manly". This does not always mean they are gay or lesbian.

We all grew up with people who might have been a little more masculine or a little more feminine. It was just a fact of life, but we all got through school without the President telling us to open up our bathrooms to whoever wants to use them so that we don’t discriminate against them.

My personal feelings are that it goes against the values of so many people to grant "rights" to those who wish to identify themselves with being transgender.

Although I am compassionate to those who were born and identify this way, I see it as a slippery slope to start granting special rights to anyone identifying themselves as a different gender, a different race, a different animal or whatever they identify themselves with.

Even though my brain identifies myself as a 18-year-old teenager, my body still says, "Wait a minute, you’re nearly a 47-year-old, middle-aged man. Don’t try that."

Like it or not, more people will take advantage of this forceful "recommendation" by the Obama Administration’s Justice Department than you might think. It will lead to some very uncomfortable situations in bathrooms across the country.

Some common sense and common ground can be met in addressing this issue without causing embarrassment and discomfort to a majority of students and parents, all while preserving the rights of the few who this effects.

Our world has gone mad with political correctness, to the point where we aren’t even close to being correct.

Is this story more important than the 25 Iraqi citizens who were tortured and killed by ISIS last week? ISIS lowered people into Nitric Acid and we heard virtually nothing about that, but everytime my TV was on this week, I had to hear about bathroom equality? We’re really being distracted by this type of news.

For the record, I used the women’s bathroom at a Walgreens in Texas last weekend after I found the mens room locked up. I didn’t identify myself as anything but "desperate" and made my wife stand guard outside the door.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 16, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I came across some interesting information about funny words that were actually made up by former presidents that we still use today. I hope you get a kick out of this.

"Iffy" - Franklin D. Roosevelt invented this term in the 1930s to dismiss questions at various press conferences. Today, we use it to communicate the status of that month-old bread in the refrigerator.

"Sugarcoat" - Upon sending an urgent message to Congress, Abraham Lincoln said about Southerners: "With rebellion thus sugar-coated they have been drugging the public mind of their section for more than 30 years." An official government printer found the term to be too casual and asked Lincoln to change it for the record. Lincoln refused. The result: The perfect word-bomb to drop in your next argument.

"Snowmageddon" - Although President Obama made the comment on the popular Michael Bay flick when he first used this term to describe the huge snowstorm that hit Washington, D.C., in 2010, I had also used it in a headline in this newspaper. The snow may have melted, but the saying has stuck.

"Belittle" - In 1788, Thomas Jefferson was so inspired while writing about the natural beauty of his home state, Virginia, that he just had to make up a whole new word to describe it. "The Count de Buffon believes that nature belittles her productions on this side of the Atlantic." Boom: "Belittle" was born. But Jefferson didn’t stop there. The third U.S. President gets credit for more than 100 new words such as: lengthily, monotonously, and (randomly enough) pedicure.

"Squatter" - Are out-of-work hipsters camping out in your neighbor’s apartment? Well, thanks to James Madison, there’s a word for them! The first recorded use of the word "squatter" was in a 1788 letter from Madison to George Washington, discussing homeless Maine residents that lived on other people’s property. If it's good enough for a president...

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 9, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

A guy just won the Republican nomination for president by taking no money, hiring no pollsters, running virtually no TV ads, and just saying what he truly believed no matter how many times people told him he couldn't say that. It doesn’t hurt that he’s hugely rich and a popular TV personality.

Love him or hate him, Trump is the nominee. Personally, I hate him. Fortunately, I hate Hillary even more. She has far more political experience, but I would have taken a Sanders Presidency over potentially having her win, which she will.

The rise of popularity for Trump reminds me of a 2006 comedy Called "Idiocracy".

The movie, once considered a comedy, now probably considered a documentary, as the film’s screenwriter Etan Cohen tweeted out recently.

In 2005, average in every way, PVT. Joe Bowers (Luke Wilson) is selected to take part in a secret military experiment to put him in hibernation for a year along with a woman named Rita (Maya Rudolph). The slumbering duo is forgotten when the base they are stored on is closed down and are left in stasis until 2505. When they finally wake up, they discover the average intelligence of humans has decreased so much that Joe is now the smartest man in the world.

In the future, Joe finds that the United States has elected a pro wrestler as the president and a great famine has stricken the world because they water their crops with a sports drink named "Brawndo", whose parent corporation had purchased the FDA, FCC, and USDA.

The human population has become morbidly stupid, speak only low registers of English competently, are profoundly anti-intellectual, and are named after corporate products.

President Camacho (the pro wrestler) gives Joe the job of fixing the nation's food shortages.

But I regress.... My column is simply pointing out that the future is closer than it may appear.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 2, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Hi! Welcome to Barber County where one month we’re on fire and the next month we’re under water....

I am just kidding, well sort of. The recent rains have really changed the appearance of the burned Gyp Hills. It doesn’t rebuild fences or homes, but it sure made the ground beautiful.

Help is still coming in for our area and we are grateful for the help coming from our neighbors. It’s a blessing to see how people have reached out to help those affected by this devastating fire.

Very soon, we’ll be featuring the journey of Don and Carol Gerstner. The Gerstners lost their home in the fire. 87-year-old Don Gerstner told me two days after the fire that he was going to completely rebuild. I thought maybe he was joking, but he’s not and he’s already begun! I’d say that’s Barber County Tough right there.

A friend from Wichita asked me an interesting question that I couldn’t answer. He asked if the fires got rid of ticks and other insects. I don’t know the answer to that. Some of you folks that live out there should drop me a note at knoland@attica.net and tell me what you’re seeing.

Ticks are becoming an issue in the north part of the county. After spending several days mowing and trimming after the previous rain, I found a tick on the back of my leg.

? ? ? ?

Congratulations again to the MLHS class of 2016. My youngest son and 37 of his classmates took the traditional wheat truck ride Friday. This year it was raining about as hard as I have seen it rain for years. I still saw a couple of them throw water balloons!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 25, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

What a bitter sweet moment in our lives as we celebrate the graduation of our last son, Nicholas Noland.

It seemed like only yesterday that he got his nursery school graduation certificate, we were flying kites on the primary school playground for kite day, that he went to his first school dance, and that he suited up and was a starter for the Indian football team.

Now he’s walking across that stage to get his diploma and begin a new chapter in his life.

I’ve had two other children graduate from MLHS, Breeann in 2008 and Joey in 2011. It’s very emotional to build a senior edition for the newspaper when your children are pictured. It’s even more emotional when it’s your last child to graduate.

Each of my children’s classes had so many special people in them that all grew up together. Nick’s class is no different. He went to school with many of these kids since preschool. They are all about to venture off in different directions, but I encourage them to stay in touch and keep that bond.

Nick let me read his "story" he wrote for his English IV class. It was about his life and growing up with his friends and family. It was truly a "life flashes in front of your eyes" moment for me.

This entire year has been. Amy Axline and I have had a special joke between us since the High School Parents’ Night back in August. We say, "This is the last time........."

Well Amy, this is the last time I get to write about my child graduating from high school in my newspaper!

I love all these kids and am so proud of them. I’m also proud and love our faculty at MLHS and throughout the district. You’ve helped us raise some pretty special kids from this community.

Good luck to you all and congratulations to the MLHS class of 2016!! Especially you, Nick Noland!

KWIBS - From April 18, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Some of my fondest memories as a child were growing up at the Index in Medicine Lodge. My father, Uncle and Grandfather all had a part in my love for the newspaper business.

Another person who kept me going in the industry was Rose Mary Shoemaker. "Rosie" worked for my family for what seemed like forever and she retired from there when I was almost a senior in high school.

She was the only employee who worked for my father that I ever had any real fear of. My dad had given her special permission to whip my tail if I needed it. She never did, but she came close several times.

Rosie got me in to scouting when I was very young. I still have my uniform hanging in my closet. I remember her taking her book out at work and asking me how I was doing on my projects. She even helped my dad build me a pinewood derby car in the print shop.

Almost every Friday afternoon, we’d set up a big table in the composing room, grab all of our loose change and play poker. I remember how mad she would get when she had a really good hand and the phone would ring, or a customer would rattle the locked door.

Over the years she saw so many changes in the newspaper industry and she got fussy each time we’d add some new equipment, but she’d always get it figured out. I’ve never seen anyone who could type as fast as she did on a screen that only showed 24 characters at a time. She could type so fast, I couldn’t read it.

Rosie came into my office after we started the Premiere in 1991, each and every week until the time she moved to Texas. She was a gem of a lady and we are honored to have known her and I am thankful she was part of my life.

KWIBS - From April 4, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

With the recent fires in Barber County, Facebook has become a very resourceful tool at sharing information.

That doesn’t threaten me as a newspaper. I embrace it and encourage it. However, remember that social media is not a permanent record of the accounts of Anderson Creek Fire. In 25 years from now, no one will find the posts regarding the events. We’re doing our very best to record these stories and need your help.

If you have something you wish to be preserved for the record, send it to us for publication even if you have posted it on Facebook.

An example of how newspapers preserve the historical aspects of events comes from last week’s Premiere from an article printed in 1896:

"On Sunday, Charley Porter’s house and furnishings near Pixley, were entirely destroyed by fire. How the fire originated is only a matter of conjecture and all speculation. Mr. Porter and his family had gone to a neighbor’s house on a visit when the fire started and before anyone could get to the scene of conflagration, everything was in ashes. The building was uninsured. Happily the next morning that gentle whole-souled fellow, Tom Murphy, started a subscription paper to partly replace Mr. Porter’s loss and before eight had something like $300. A people who will stand with each other in times of misfortune and adversity is the best and noblest of humanity."

These stories being published online will disappear with no historical archiving and all that will remain is the printed information. Please, if you have something important you want preserved, send it to us for publication. We want your story remembered for future generations.

Thanks again to our fire fighters and volunteers!

KWIBS - From March 28, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

When you hear people talk about last week’s wildfires and say, "I’ve never seen anything like that in my entire life," take it to heart.

I spent most of Wednesday out west of town with a friend whose house was in a direct path of destruction. We had a tanker truck, two 50 gallon sprayers on UTVs and a spray truck.

We watched as the fire came in along the south side of the Medicine River on River Road. It had already jumped that line north of us. We just sat and watched and waited.

At about 5:45 p.m. the wind shifted and blew the fire around his place, but the fire raged on towards Medicine Lodge. God was good to my friends.

Many people took the voluntary evacuation measures to heart and there was a steady line of cars leaving north on 281 at around 8 p.m. when I was coming back through town.

Tears of joy and sorrow were shared by so many when good news and bad news came over the radios. Some had barely escaped losing their homes, some lost theirs and some lost their buildings and other property.

Our local fire fighters are absolute heroes. Many of them went two or more days with no sleep. Rick Wesley must be a ragged mess, but is to be commended for his efforts, when at times, there was nothing he or his men could do but watch as that fire ripped through areas of our county.

Those other departments from other communities, too many to list here; we owe our gratitude to. Thanks for having our backs.

Thanks to our Sheriff’s Office, EMTs, City Officials, MLPD and County for staying and organizing efforts.

I was so grateful for the sandwich meat, bread and chips that magically appeared in Landon Cunningham’s truck that day out west of town.

And thank the good Lord above and pray for rain for our dry lands.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 21, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

It’s been a few years since I was allowed a "Spring Break". In fact, it’s been a lot of years. That term sort of no longer applies when you are an adult, but since I have a son who is a Senior at MLHS, I felt that a "Spring Break" was in order. We took Nick to New Mexico. Our trip was designed so that we could spend time with Ronda’s brother and family - Kyle, DeDe, Lily and Sam Vick.

While there, DeDe informed me that I should somehow incorporate Sam and Lily into my column because they had never been in it before. Well, that’s easy enough to rectify!

KWIBS - From March 7, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Do you want tighter abs, inches off your waist and lose up to 7 lbs. in one week?

Sure you do and I’ve got the secret on how to do it!

I started on Tuesday, February 23 and it didn’t take me long to feel the burn in my abs. By Friday I had already dropped 4 lbs. The sweating was brutal, but I achieved my goal by the following Tuesday morning.

You’re getting excited and you want to know more!

From all accounts, you can do this at home for FREE! That’s right, absolutely FREE. It takes 1-4 days for results to start.

You might think, this is too unbelievable. You’re asking, I can get this for free, at home and it starts doing all of the above within 1-4 days? I know your hesitation, you’ve seen ads on TV and you might be one of those people, like myself, who have bought into the latest gimmick and found out it was too good to be true.

Well, this isn’t. It works.

I’m pretty sure I got my starter kit from Doris, who brought it to work the week before. She probably was licking my keyboard or coughed on my phone when I wasn’t in the office and I caught it after coming back. It was most likely the latest strain of respiratory influenza.

I’ve been lucky to not have caught this bug for several years, but my luck ran out. With lots of coughing, sneezing, aching, a fever, probably being possessed by demons and more, I did drop about 7 lbs. I’m pretty sure I blew my nose so hard once that it popped and I heard a seagull fart on a beach in South California.

I hope I can keep the weight off, but I hope I didn’t pass it along to anyone else. It comes on fast and seems to linger.

As I type this, I can hear Doris coughing in her area up front. It’s too late this year, but I am going to see about putting her in a bubble the next flu season (October - April).

Have a great week!

And Happy Birthday Mom!

Love Kevin and Rhonda and families!

KWIBS - From February 29, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

You know how I love the odd news and the crazy stories.

I have a cousin, by marriage, that I’ve always thought could belch louder than any human known.

His belch is so loud that one afternoon at the lake, his belch called in about 100 head of cattle to the fence line. I’m not kidding. This event was witnessed by many people in our family and friends at the lake.

This story popped up on my news feed early Thursday morning and I sent the story to my cousin:

Australia, Feb. 25 (UPI) -- An Australian man set the world record for the loudest burp by producing a belch that reached over 110 decibels.

Nev Sharp's unofficial record of 110.6 decibels was measured by NT News as he awaits a response from Guinness World Records to have his burp tested.

"It's [the world record] been a bit of a goal from when I was a kid," he said. "I'm always training."

Although not officially registered by Guinness World Records, Sharp's impressive burp edges out the current record of 109.9 decibels set by a UK man Paul Hunn in 2009.

Sharp said he learned the skill from his sister (she sounds like a keeper) and prepares for his burps by drinking various carbonated beverages as well as cold water.

"It would've been 600ml Coke and some cool water," he told ABC News. "And my beer fridge is always full."

His burp registers as, "louder than a snowmobile or motorcycle and a power saw from one meter away."

I don’t know where to find a decibel meter, but I want to find one desperately. I’m pretty sure my cousin could beat this guy.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 22, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I’d like to take this very short space to wish my youngest a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Nick Noland turns 18 on Thursday. Last week he said to me, "I can’t wait to go register to vote! I’ve already got the papers filled out!"

I didn’t even bother to ask him his party affiliation. I’m pretty sure I can guess that!

It’s pretty wild to think my baby is now old enough to be drafted and can now vote!

It’s hard to believe this was Nick (and his teacher Gail Ferguson) around 2002.

Happy Birthday Nicholas Tate Noland. Your mom and I are so proud of you!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 15, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Since no one fire bombed my office last week concerning my Donald Trump comments, I will bust out my opinion of Hillary Clinton this week.... as promised.

Of all the candidates gracing the debate stages, Mrs. Clinton is the most experienced in all areas of government.

Wow, you said, as your mouth hit the floor.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Clinton cannot be trusted as PUSA. She has been misleading and untrustworthy for most of her career.

I know Bernie Sanders might be sick of talking about Hillary’s emails, but we must regress.

You might wonder if Hillary Clinton's email scandal is something to worry about and the short answer is - yes it is. She was the Secretary of State and in that role she had access to top secret information that only the top people in government knew.

For example - when we moved in to kill Osama bin Laden, Hillary is pictured in the room with Obama watching it all unfold. She was also involved with the Iranian nuclear weapons discussions and deals, the wars in Syria, Egypt, Libya, and Tunisia. When you are dealing with these kinds of important issues, you don't do that on a home server that is filtered through a commercial spam filtering service.

I still am a partner in that type of home server email business. As secure as we want to make it, it is not completely secure when done the way she did it.

I'm amazed that the Obama administration and the State Department let her get away with it. They all had to have known she was doing it because her email address wasn't @state.gov, it was @clintonemail.com, So the other people in the Obama administration knew what she was doing and just let her do it.

I wish this were the only reason I could not trust her as PUSA, but it’s not..... It is however, significantly serious.

 

KWIBS - From February 8, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

I’m going to come right out and say it. It’s going to make some of you angry and some of my family and friends even more angry, but I don’t care for Donald Trump as a presidential candidate - of any party.

The billionaire real estate mogul turned reality TV star reminds me of a drunken frat boy with no mouth filter. He’s a sideshow.

Here are a few of the reasons I won’t be voting for him.

- His hair is awful. We need a president who has good hair. His weird "rug" or "piece" is hard to look at, sort of like not wanting to look at a car accident, but being drawn to it. It sort of wraps around his whole head and molds into his eyebrows. I read a report that scientists have been trying to study its perplexing anti-gravitational properties, but could not afford the licensing fees he demands.

- He’s terrible on his own TV reality show. The Apprentice is dumb. The premises is: you work for the Donald and compete against others to win a prize.. or be fired. So it’s like winning Publisher’s Clearing House and having the prize delivered by clowns wielding chainsaws. Who could take him seriously as president when he sits at the board room table and says, "You’re fired!"

- He flaunts it. Yep, he’s got a lot of money and he loves to tell you about it. Coming from humble beginnings, he got only a mere $1 million loan from his poor father to start his first business. He tells us he wants to make America great again. I know we’ve got our share of problems, but we are still a great nation. We could be greater I suppose, but we’re not, not great....... If that were true, we wouldn’t need to build a wall at the border to keep immigrants in check. They obviously think we’re pretty great and want in here. I agree with them.

- He’s terrible with social media. Perhaps a new label for Trump should be, "Tweetarded" is in order. I’m sure he writes his own stuff, and that scares me more. From the birther statements to the Chinese inventing global warming, he never fails to squeeze all his BS into the allowed 140 characters. My favorite tweet from Trump: "I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke."

I could go on and on, but I won’t. I will tell you that I would vote for him any day of the week if it were between him and Hillary Clinton...... She’d be another column. God help the Republican party though....

 

KWIBS - From February 1, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

A fun little history lesson about this column.

Doris found a snippet my dad wrote in February of 1976, "I have been toying with the idea of starting a personal column for the Indiex for the past three years," he wrote.

Dad was also "toying around" with the title KWICK KWIBS, Jr.

When we started our newspaper in 1991, I had been writing "KWIBS" for the Index for about two years. My early columns were terrible, even worse than today. I know, you can’t believe it. I brought the name with me when Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere. Many people over the years have asked me, where the name came from.

Now, the column name "KWICK KWIBS, Jr" by my dad, Ron Noland, came from his father (my Grandpa Bill). In 1946 my Grandpa Bill bought his first newspaper, the Logan Republican. He started a column called "KWICK KWIBS".

Well, I’ve read some of my grandpa’s and dad’s early columns and I am glad to say that I come from a long line of some terrible writers! Seriously though, some of these columns were very well done and made me smile to think how far back my heritage in the newspaper business goes.

It dawned on my last week that my grandpa wrote KWICK KWIBS for 24 years. My dad wrote KWICK KWIBS for 12 years and I have written KWIBS for over 25 years now. I’m the winner. Of what, I do not know.....

KWIBS, of some form, has been a part of Kansas newspaper history for 70 years now, with a few years of gaps in between. Possibly, there are over 3,000 columns with the name "KWIBS" on them.

 

KWIBS - From January 25, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

If you ate breakfast, lunch or supper today, thank a farmer and rancher.

By appearance, you might think I need to slow down on "thanking". I’m working on that by trying to eat healthier and exercise, but they do such a darn good job!

Farming and ranching are far more labor-intensive, than most of our jobs are and most of us forget about the hard work that goes into feeding America - even the world.

I have a unique perspective on this industry through experience on our family’s ranch. Although my experience might be limited to getting a calf back on the right side of a fence at times, I do see how hard those who work the land have it and I appreciate what they do.

Around this time of the year, every year, for the past 25 years, we have dedicated a special edition of our newspaper to the farming and ranching community, especially to the Conservation District and its members.

We live in a time where conservation is a household word, but do we really know what it means to conserve? Those who’ve been in this business for generations do know and they not only practice conservation, they live it.

Maybe many of the articles this week won’t interest you, but at least take a moment to think about what it takes to put food on your table and if you know a farmer or rancher, take a moment to thank them for their labor of love and for conserving our land for the generations to come.

Thank you conservation folks! I hope you have a great banquet and awards ceremony!

KWIBS - From January 18, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

So my desperate call for a calendar column worked last week!

One was left anonymously at the door with a nice note on it another slipped its way into my drop box on Thursday. I appreciate that more than you can imagine! I love living in a community that will allow me to ask for a calendar in my column on a Monday and have one delivered to my door on a Tuesday!

? ? ? ?

Heaven got a little sweeter this week. It is very sad to say goodbye to Darrel Rhea and Dave Rausch. Both of these guys made huge impacts on my life. I sat with Darrel at many basketball games throughout the years. Darrel was a Merchant Marine veteran in World War II and a US Air Force veteran of the Korean Conflict. He was a kind gentleman. It was a pleasure to know him and my thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

I learned of Dave’s passing at cards Tuesday night. He was a player at a different table with a different group of guys who play on Wednesdays, but they shared the news on Facebook and I was able to share the news with our card group.

Dave has been after me for years to rejoin the golf club. I had quit after not getting better than an 18 handicap after 5 years of playing. I was never really into it, but Dave never let up on me. He was a heck of a good dude and I know his friends and family have heavy hearts.

I’m sorry that my column is such a downer this week.

I also wish to extend my sympathy to the family of Sherrill Orr. Sherrill and I used to catch up on life at the grocery store. For some reason, it seemed we did our shopping at the same time! Her brother Bob Packard is my friend and Tuesday night card player. I’m so sorry for your loss.

? ? ? ?

I pray that God comforts our community. We are a big family. Everyone knows everyone, and that’s not a bad thing when we realize how precious life is.

Have a great week.

 

KWIBS - From January 11, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

Suddenly, and without warning, no one gave me a new calendar this year.

My "Walking Dead" calendar still says December 2015. There’s nothing behind that last page. I checked.

I opened a drawer in my office and found 4 unused 2015 calendars, but I can’t find a single 2016.

I know I have a calendar on my iPhone, but I like to write on a real calendar to remember when I did things and be able to look forward by flipping pages.

Call me old-fashioned, but someone please bring me a full-sized calendar for 2016!

? ? ? ?

Speaking of iPhones and calendars, did you know that the device you hold in your hand today has hundreds, maybe thousands of times more computing power than the entire Apollo 11 mission team had in 1969?

I was nerding out this week and read that the moon lander had about 64kb. That’s hard to imagine when most cell phones’ cameras are 5mb and most phones are 16gb or more these days.

One of my favorite things to say to my kids is.. "When I was your age..." Then I launch myself into a long-winded story of my childhood that they roll their eyes at.

Seriously though, I had an Atari with a black and white TV. My kids have a 52" LED with XBlock, or something like that.

Kids nowadays have it pretty good. They have a million options for entertainment, tons of resources to learn new things, and gadgets that make life's little annoyances so much easier.

But everything has its downside. Though we're grateful for technology, we'll never regret not having more of it growing up. Because if we'd had today's gadgets and gizmos back then, we would have missed out on family time watching TV together and fighting with our siblings over the remote, before the time of DVRs. Heck, we might not even know how to read an analog clock or read a map.

I just need to know what day it is without finding my calendar app on my phone. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 4, 2016 - By Kevin Noland

We made it through the holidays and now we’re into a brand new year. I know this because I went to write something down on my calendar for January and realized I was on the last page.

Let’s be truthful for a moment. Unless you are a kid, Christmas is work. Maybe I’m doing it wrong.

I worked very hard to simplify Christmas this year. We drew names, only partially decorated our tree, did potluck meals and tried hard not to go "Overboard" with the gift giving and expense of shopping

Maybe I’m doing it wrong.

According to Gallup, the average American spent $830 on Christmas gifts and that’s up from last year when average people only spent $720. I’m guessing if you are reading this, you are laughing and wondering what the heck happened? That average factors in those who spend $0 at Christmas, so the numbers are skewed a little. 30% of Americans spent more than $1,000.

While there’s nothing wrong with the spirit of giving, I strongly believe we’ve gone astray on this special holiday (I did intend for that to rhymm).

Do you think I’m wrong? Try this simple social experiment in your home like I did.

I made the suggestion that we far overspent on Christmas this year. Then I suggested that we just take $1,000 and donate it to a good cause in the name of our family. I read where one family gives each of their children $50 to put in an envelope on their tree to someone in need. That’s pretty cool!

It wasn’t a popular suggestion, but it hopefully got my family to thinking about what this season is all about. Look around you. Are you comfortable, warm, fed, healthy? There are others that are not so fortunate in the world.

Can you imagine what the world would be like, if we celebrated the true meaning of Christmas? It doesn’t have to be just once a year.

It’s also easier said than done, but I want to try a little bit harder in 2016.

Happy New Year!

KWIBS - From December 21, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

It has been my privilege over the past 24 years to print the Santa letters in the newspaper. I also take advantage of the opportunity to showcase my kids and grandkids during this time of the year as you’ve probably seen on our front page. Yes, those are my offspring, Grandchildren Kycen and Baylee Schaffer.
It is incredible to think we’re already at the end of another year. This is always my favorite newspaper to print. It’s usually the biggest paper of the year and full of requests from the community’s youngsters for Christmas gifts from Santa.
Thanks to our advertisers that help us put out these last couple of editions during the holidays. It’s fun to look back over the years and see your greetings to the community and read the letters. We appreciate you and wish you a Merry Christmas!
I always have a favorite that I pick out and this year’s letter is from Tell Thomas, son of Kyle and Shannon Thomas:
“Dear Santa, I would like to have new skis, a dirt bike, ipad that I get to do whatever I want to do on, a bunny that won’t run away, and a transformer toy. I would also like a new room that I can decorate myself, shotgun and shells, knife, a camo suit, and a pistol.”
If I were profiling this kid, I would conclude that his mom and dad aren’t giving him enough time on their iPads, that he’s not pleased with their decorating skills and that if his bunny runs away, he might use the shotgun, knife, pistol, etc.... Dear Kyle and Shannon, keep an eye on that kid! lol....
This would be my request to Santa:
Dear Santa, please bring oil prices back up to help our local economy. That’s it. Thanks Santa.
I don’t have to tell you this, but as you get older, Christmas becomes more expensive. I love giving gifts to the kids and the grandkids, but I don’t want them to ever forget the reason we celebrate this time of year. It’s not about how much we have. It’s about how much we’ve been given. God loved us so much that He gave his only son. That beautiful gift is a promise of forgiveness and eternal life in the sacrifice shed by his blood on the cross.
Pause for a moment this Christmas season and remember why we celebrate.
Matthew 1:18-25
18 This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit.
19 Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.
21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."
22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:
23 "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"--which means, "God with us."
24 When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.
25 But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.
Scripture tells us that 30 years later, this baby, now a man, was asked a question by a teacher and scholar of the day. He asked. “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
Notice Jesus answers him, but doesn’t give him one commandment of importance, but two: “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
Every year, since my kids have been babies, I drag the entire crew to church on Christmas Eve. It’s mandatory in our home. There’s a lot of grumbling, kids are tired, house is trashed, but we go and we pause to remember the gift we’ve been given. It’s been a fun tradition for us. I would encourage you, if you’ve never gone, find one of our great area churches and attend a Christmas Eve service. You’ll be welcome at any of them.
God bless and Merry Christmas!

KWIBS - From December 7, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

My wife is an excellent cook. With only 2 years of observation and taste testing her mother’s cooking, I would say I dodged a bullet.
Ronda’s mother passed away in 1987. I only knew her for a couple of years and during most of that time, she was sick with cancer, so it’s not really fair to judge her cooking. I know she opened a mean can of soup every now and then and grilled up cheese sandwiches. I back up my opinion of her cooking from statements from her son and husband at the time.
At our house, we share in responsibility of cooking. I do most of the meats, she does the sides and vegetables. I also am in charge of Wednesday night (I take her out to eat).
We try to eat healthy, but it’s hard when you live 8 miles from town, so we cook a lot of food and it becomes meals on wheels for us at the office.
Ronda and I have completely different shopping habits. I can magically get out of the grocery store for around $30, while it usually costs her $100+. In her defense, she shops for our 17 year old son, who eats more like livestock than a human being.
Ironically, if you ask him, we never have anything to eat in our house. He’ll eat and 30 minutes later is standing with the refrigerator door wide open. It usually ends after about a 5 minute stare and then some unintelligible grumblings as he’s walking back down stairs. Within 30 minutes, the ritual repeats itself as though we’ve either gotten the hint and gone to the grocery store or the refrigerator is somehow replicating food like the Starship Enterprise.
The drawer in our refrigerator is where good intentions go to die. I have a monthly responsibility of throwing slimy, once garden style items into a sack while holding my nose.
That might be the difference between $30 and $100 at the grocery store my love.....

KWIBS - From November 30, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Nearly 25 years ago to the day, I remember taking this road trip to Wichita with Mike Jacobs. We were going up to an auto auction to try our luck at making a buck.
Mike had just made a big move in his life and I had done the same. We had both quit our jobs and were pursuing going into business for ourselves; Mike, as an alignment and vehicle mechanic - me, as a commercial printer and later as a newspaperman.
We were big dreamers and we were both scared to death.
At the time, we had both started families, we were broke, drove junk vehicles and didn’t really have a plan other than to work hard and try to make a go of it.
I was at his shop on Monday and we were taking a trip down memory lane. Looking back, we both agree that we were probably crazy, but we did make a go of it. Our families have gotten bigger (including grandchildren!), we’ve gotten a little grayer and we still drive junk vehicles! At least I still drive a junk vehicle, which is good for Mike’s business.
Mike has done a fantastic job the past 25 years. He’s grown and moved to a new location. He’s got a fantastic team of people working with him and I want to congratulate him for 25 years in business.
Mike has also been a huge supporter of the community, schools and the Peace Treaty Association, to name a few things.
So go down and get you some free breakfast on Saturday, December 5th from 7:30 a.m. - 10 a.m. He wants to say, “Thank You”.
I want to say thank you to Mike for sticking it out all these years and providing a great service to Medicine Lodge!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 23, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Tornados, blizzards and earthquakes for Kansas this past week.
Go home mother nature, you’re drunk!
That earthquake early Thursday morning was something else. I was actually halfway awake and still out in the living room at 1:45 a.m. when I heard the dishes and cabinets in the kitchen rattling. Then my son Nicholas woke up and said “Dad! Earthquake!”
It sure was and it lasted for a long time. I got up and went to bed and was sure Ronda slept through it. As soon as I hit the bedroom door she said, “That was a huge earthquake!”
I picked up my iPhone to see what others experienced and what some fracking-accusing friends were saying. Sure enough, there they were...
“Big old earthquake.....they must be frack in' Curry Lane.”
I hoped that was just some sort of dumb joke.... The epicenter was near Cherokee, OK.
You’ve read it here before and you’ll read it again and again. Fracking does not cause earthquakes. It, at the very most, causes minimal seismic activity.
More and more evidence points towards waste water injection wells close to fault lines and people keep confusing the processes.
In a report from the USGS: Wastewater is produced at nearly every oil and gas well, not just sites where hydraulic fracturing is taking place, the report said. In Oklahoma, the site of numerous earthquakes, less than 10 percent of the water injected into wastewater disposal wells is used fracking fluid, the USGS said.
? ? ? ?
Congratulations to my buddy Dr. Pete Meador who was recently recognized as a “Real Doc Hollywood.” He was recently featured in a showcase for National Rural Health Day and he so deserves it. Love you old friend.
 

KWIBS - From November 16, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Medicine Lodge does a lot of things right. Many times, you just hear the negatives, but if you look around, we’ve got a great community of people always ready to step up and do something for the good of the town and its citizens.
A couple of those events took place this week.
Monday night The Medicine Lodge Peace Treaty Association’s board met with the public to discuss the figures from the 2015 pageant and weekend celebration.
Although these figures show a downward trend in attendance, they show an increase in support for preserving and financing future events. Sponsorship is at an all-time high and volunteers continue to step up.
Ronda and I are proud to be a part of this amazing group of selfless people. It’s a big job for each chair and board member. When we say we elected a new board, we’re really saying, “We’ve all agreed to continue on in our positions and serve Peace Treaty for another term.” It was pretty incredible to have a group of citizens unanimously recommend the nominations for all the board. We appreciate your support and we’ll do our best to keep Peace Treaty alive and well.
On Wednesday, November 11, Ronda and I went to MLHS to honor our area veterans. The Veterans Committee did a fantastic job of thanking all the area veterans of all the branches of service.
They paid a special tribute to 21 World War II veterans in attendance. Some came in wheelchairs and walkers and some came under their own power. These aged warriors who brought peace to our country with their sacrifices deserve our utmost respect and thanks. It was a shining moment for our community to see these folks awarded for their service.
Good job MLHS!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 2, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Tomorrow is my wife’s birthday. For those of you who don’t know her, she’s the beautiful redhead I’ve had on my arm for the past 30 years, 3 of those years as my girlfriend. She’s still my girlfriend.
There are a few men who can claim they are blessed with a good woman. I’m one of those guys and I know it and I don’t take it for granted. Ronda is my world and I take great pride in telling you what she means to me and wishing her a happy birthday.
On her birthday, Ronda will:
- Get up very early and get the laundry done, wash all the dishes in the house, make coffee and breakfast, get Nicholas up and around for school.
- She’ll probably go to work where she’s responsible for the accounting of 5 five businesses, advertising and general office work.
- If she’s lucky, which she creates this luck, she’ll see her grandchildren and spend time with our daughter.
-Depending on our work load, we’ll either go out for dinner or stay home. She’ll be exhausted and she’ll do it all again the next day.
And she does all of this because she loves her family. If you didn’t remind her, she would probably forget it was even her birthday.
Proverbs 31:10-12 says:
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. and
28-29: Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her; “many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”
I found her.
Happy Birthday Ronda, I love you.

KWIBS - From October 26, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

These kinds of columns never end well for me, but I just can’t help myself.
Monday, October 12 I was heading out to the ranch with my father-in-law for a repair job when I neared the Stolp and 281 HWY intersection.
I swerved to miss a mess in the road. The first road kill was a large armadillo. Ten feet from that was a black and white cat. I morbidly chuckled to myself wondering who’s fault that was - the armadillo’s or the cat’s? I could only assume that it was the armadillo who crossed the road and the cat was just curious. Regardless, it was a two for one that someone surely went, “oooooo!”
As you’ve seen, Elisa Stone has done some writing for us the past couple of weeks. She’s quite good and a very fun read. Last Tuesday she shot me over a couple of stories she wrote. One was about the new Orscheln’s and one was about a cat named Oreo. There was a photo attached. I read with curiosity.
If you haven’t read the story on the front page, I would encourage you to stop right here and go read it.
Ok, are you done?
It was only after I read the story that I opened the photo attachment.
“Uh, oh.......”
The awful armadillo and cat crime scene I had seen the day before could only mean one thing. It was a murder/suicide. No, just kidding.... But I am pretty sure I know where Oreo is now. Oreo is sipping a glass of milk, playing a harp in kitty heaven. His 9th life - snuffed out after he went to investigate the placental mammal with a leathery armor shell.
Curiosity most likely did kill the cat.
Now Elisa and Todd have some children, so I want to be sensitive here. Don’t read this column to them. I’m sure they can handle the death of an animal. After all, Todd is a local veterinarian. Not saying that he’s a bad one, but I am sure the kids have seen a dead animal before.....

KWIBS - From October 12, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

So many things went through my mind on Wednesday morning when Jan Forsyth said, “I’ll race you!”
I was walking across the street from the Citizens Bank when she got out of her car. We were walking together and out of this sweet little lady’s mouth came the challenge.
Part of me wanted to say, “Bring it on!” but several things went through my mind:
What if we both start running and one of us falls or gets hurt? What if that someone is me? What if I win and humiliate her? What if SHE wins and humiliates me???
If I remember correctly, Jan just celebrated her 90th birthday. She looked as though she could have at least sprinted across that street and given me a run for my money (no money was wagered on this race....)
My common sense took over. This almost never happens. I told Jan that it would probably not be a good idea for either of us to race across the street, but secretly, I think I can beat her.
? ? ? ?
Customers of Burger King trying the new Halloween Black Bun Whopper are getting a fun trick or treat surprise. It’s turning their customers’....er...uhm...poop GREEN!
Apparently, the food dye being used is a dark green. Social media has been blowing up about people’s green poo caused by the fast food chain’s newest promotion.
? ? ? ?
Orscheln Farm and Home is open and will have their official grand opening this week. Congratulations on the new store. It is fantastic and a great addition to our community. Be sure to check out their activitites on page 8 this week.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 5, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

If you were around Friday or Saturday, you probably saw the spectacular jumps made by retired Navy SEAL and MLHS 1988 graduate Nix White.
I’ve known Nix for more than 30 years now. Years ago, probably back in the late 1990s, Nix and I started a tradition where we would take a goofy photo of ourselves to remember our visit. Our first one started in Tijuana, MX. That column could never be written. Since then, we’ve stunted half a dozen hilarious photos together of us riding horses, motorcycles, being arrested and now this one below. I made the announcement on Facebook Saturday of Peace Treaty that there had been a change in plans and I was jumping into Saturday’s parade. Upon landing, I would look like “a yard dart.”
For the record, it wasn’t really me. :)

KWIBS - From September 28, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted!
Peace Treaty 2015 is now a memory. Our community now takes on the task of cleaning up and putting away all of the things that it takes to put on a pageant.
You’ll probably notice, we don’t have a huge story about Peace Treaty this week. Since my wife and I are both on the board and in the pageant, it puts a lot of pressure on Doris to cover everything! She did a fantastic job of shooting pictures around town and we have those to share this week. Next week we hope to have some news on how the events and weekend went, along with more photos! We’ll also be posting a lot of photos on our Facebook page. Be sure to be our friend!
? ? ? ?
For some dumb reason, I got a little concert silly this year, not that that’s any different than normal for me. Back in October of 2014, I found out a bucket list band I had never seen was coming to Wichita (almost a year later). I bought tickets to the Foo Fighters before Christmas.
Eventually, we forgot we were going to that concert with our cousins and they bought us concert tickets to Third Day. I love that band. Well, it just so happened that I had also bought tickets to Def Leppard, Foreigner and Tesla back in May. It turns out that Foo Fighters is on Wednesday at Intrust Bank Arena, Third Day is on Thursday at the Orpheum and then a week later we go back to Intrust Bank Arena for Def Leppard.
It was just a complete lack of judgment on my part when purchasing these tickets and I had no idea how close together each performance was, so this is my apology to my wife, who is dreading the next week of loud music and driving back and forth to Wichita!
I should probably pre-apologize for buying tickets to see Aranda at the Cotillion on November 1st.... Sorry sweetheart.

KWIBS - From September 21, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Ready or not, here it is! Peace Treaty 2015 is here. Are you ready for the time of your life? Well, we’ve got you covered, wagon! Yep, my usual Peace Treaty humor. I crack myself up!
You want parades? We’ve got them. You want history? We’ve got that way covered. How about some awesome entertainment? Ok, we can do that. Do you like a good football game? Well, we’re planning one! Do you want to see a guy jump from a helicopter and land on Main Street? We’re doing that too! Looking for a rodeo? There’s one of those. What about a Powwow? Glad you asked that question. YES, at our new arena. Go check that out! God willing and weather permitting, this will be one heck of a Peace Treaty!
You’ll have no trouble finding everything you want to do and it’s all inside this edition. As you felt, this was a big newspaper. We’ve been working on this edition since May of this year and it was stressful, but we’re so excited to present it to you this week.
You can also find everything online at www.peacetreaty.org. Aaron Traffas has built us an amazing website and it is updated with the best, most current information about the weekend.
? ? ? ?
There is so much work that goes into a Peace Treaty. It literally takes the entire town to prepare for this event. So many good people donate their time and resources to putting this event in motion that it is impossible to list them all. However, we do have a list of the cast of the 24th reenactment of the signing of the treaty at Medicine Creek on pages 4-5 of this week’s newspaper.
Besides all of those people are folks like the students and faculty of USD#254 who spent all of last Wednesday cleaning up the town and helping at the pageant grounds. We’ve pictured them on page 8 of today’s paper.
Inside this newspaper and special edition we have a story about the board of directors. I’m so proud to be a part of this team. This is a family and we’ve spent the last 4 years together planning for this very weekend. It’s impossible to list everyone of them, but each of them has worked their donkeys off.
Our board is made of our town’s very best folks and I can’t thank them enough for all of the sacrifice and hard work they’ve put into this.
One of our newest members to the board is my wife, who became treasurer after I said, “Oh, honey. It will be easy!” We’re still married and she has forgiven me for lying to her. It turns out, that the treasurer is very busy during Peace Treaty.
I hate singling people out for recognition, but when it comes to volunteering, David Colborn wins every time. David is our liaison to our Native American friends and partners. Steve Bryan and I roped him into that position in 2011 and he’s done an amazing job.
I don’t know if he realizes just how much we all appreciate him. I can tell you that he and his family are very much responsible for the fact that we have a new powwow arena, that the sound on Main Street works and that there is electricity where and when we need it. Thank you my friend for everything you do. I always have fun working with you.
Joscelyn Nittler is our 2nd Vice President in charge of advertising and promotion. She also got suckered into painting a bunch of parking signs. On top of all she does, she’s also about to cross a big finish line. She’s pregnant and due in just a couple of weeks. She’s been a lot of fun to work with and we wish her and her husband Chad and family the best with the newest addition to their family! Maybe we’ll have a Peace Treaty baby!?!?!
Like I said, I don’t want to single out anyone and don’t want to leave anyone out. It is a team of great people: Princess Summer Moncivais (who lobbied our cause all over the state), Rick and Betty Jo Swayden (our President and his Secretary!), Cathy Colborn (Director of the Pageant and Night Show), Kaye Kuhn (long time promoter and Executive Director), Susan Seal (our Native American friend and helper), Sara Whelan (a past president and the glue that keeps us together and organized), Kyle Thomas (a guy who is our very own horse and buggy/wagon whisperer in charge of the big barns!), Aaron Traffas (our technical guru and often my go-to guy), David Colborn (the everywhere man - for everything), Norm Clouse (in charge of food downtown and city councilman), Mike Roe (this poor guy was in charge of the crappiest of jobs - portable toilets and the grounds at Memorial Peace Park. He’s also a councilman), Steve Bryan (a past president and official cook), Kevin Noland (that’s me. I’m 1st Vice President and I’m going to be humble and not rant too much, but I got Aranda here!), Ronda Noland (the money lady), Joscelyn Nittler (the prego lady who has been quite creative and fun to work with), Cindy Brungardt (our town’s “fun” coordinator and Robert Larson (who has the biggest heart and equipment!!)
Each one of these people are a big reason that this event is even possible.
There are so many more people who aren’t mentioned that deserve much credit for this upcoming weekend. Our city stands ready to help us with their people and resources. We could not do this without help from Sheriff Rugg (who is also an announcer of the pageant) and Police Chief Nick Krug; our County Commissioners and County Attorney and Diversion Fund; our City Administrator Jeff Porter, Mayor Maj. Robert Stutler and city council have supported us all the way.
Of course all of this takes a tremendous amount of money. That’s where you come in. Please attend one of the pageants. It is the primary means of income for the Peace Treaty. Many of the events are free, but we wouldn’t have any of them if people didn’t go see the pageant. We also thank our many, many sponsors and donors who so graciously step up when we need them.
There is always the possibility that this could be the last pageant. It’s only going to continue if people continue to support it. Even if you’ve seen it 69 times, please come again and show your support for our rich history and pride in our community.
? ? ? ?
The best part of Peace Treaty will be seeing people. Let’s face it’s a giant reunion of friends and family, classmates and acquaintances from our past.
We’re going to have a good Peace Treaty, God willing, and if any of us have any say, it won’t ever be the last one.
Bring on Peace Treaty 2015!

KWIBS - From September 14, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

We are two weeks out from Peace Treaty 2015 and I am super excited about today’s front page stories. Nix White is a classmate and friend of mine who has a distinguished service record as a Navy Seal. He’ll be jumping into the Indians vs. Roadrunners game on Friday night, September 24th at about 5:50 p.m. The next morning, he’ll start the parade by jumping into the intersection of Main and Kansas at about 9:50 a.m. If you saw him do this in 2011, you know how freaking cool it was! If you didn’t see it. Don’t miss it this year!!
Nix is a 1988 graduate of Medicine Lodge High School and we are honored to have him back for the weekend!
I’m also really excited about DWTA Tours coming back to town and am looking forward to taking a helicopter ride around town. I didn’t get to do that last time, but I am making a plan to do it this year!
We also have some fantastic music and performers for the weekend including Aranda! These are some great friends of ours from Oklahoma City. They have a brand new album and they have a song on the Billboard Charts sitting at number 11 this week - “Don’t Wake Me.”
All of these events are high up on my MUST DO at Peace Treaty this year, but the entire weekend will not be a success without two things: YOU and GREAT WEATHER! Please be praying about this year’s Peace Treaty Celebration, the safety of the actors and participants and of course, the weather!
I’ve been enjoying the shared posts about Peace Treaty on Facebook. Keep it up! Social media has been a great place to spread the word about Peace Treaty.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 7, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

I was saddened to hear the news of Dan Traffas last week.
Dan was a classmate and friend. He was someone who always had a great story to tell, a smile on his face and a way to make you feel special.
It’s never an easy day for me to have to print an obituary for someone I knew in our community. This one is even harder, seeing his smiling face on page 4 this week and thinking about how full of life he was.
Dan and I loved to talk shop. We’ve both been in the advertising business for most of our adult lives, so it was easy to have a conversation with him. I used to see him more when he was in the Wichita area, but even when he moved to Arizona, I would get phone calls from him from time to time to catch up. In fact, I got one about a month ago from Dan. It was the last time I spoke with him.
I remembered learning the news about Dusty’s motorcycle accident during a toy run several years ago. He was Mike, Dan and Genae’s brother, also a good friend. I’ll miss them both.
Paul teaches in 1st Corinthians 10:13 that anything that comes our way, anything that tempts us, any tragedy that happens to us- we are capable of overcoming it. That does not mean life will always be easy. On the contrary, the fact that we may need a way of escape indicates that God sometimes allows difficult trials to come into our lives. We may not believe that we can overcome them, we may doubt our own strength to prevail, and we may even fail in the test. That does not mean, though, that we are not capable of overcoming that particular problem in our lives. Whatever the problem is, God promises that we will be able to overcome it through Him.
My prayers go out to Dan’s family.

KWIBS - From August 31, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

We are just a few editions away from the 2015 Peace Treaty.
Our office has been, well, for lack of better or appropriate print, “nuts”.
Thank you Doris and Ronda for accepting my bipolar behavior the past couple of months (or more like 24 years). When we start putting the special edition for Peace Treaty together, things usually go awry: Computers crash, photo schedules change, information gets lost, people get sick, some even die.
One thing that never changes is our desire to put out the best edition we can and make it something that reflects our community’s pride, history and expresses our sorrows for the loss of those who have passed away that were ever so important to the history of Peace Treaty.
Of course our ultimate goal is to share our rich history with those coming to town over the three day celebration and we will deliver on that.
With the evolution of online media, we are also embracing the digital side. Aaron Traffas is to be commended for building Peace Treaty a first class website. He has built it from the ground up. If you haven’t visited it yet, go to your computer right now and type www.peacetreaty.org. Explore and find everything you need to know about Peace Treaty 2015. It’s been my honor to work with Aaron over the past year getting content for the website.
For this event to exist for future generations we must and we will adapt. Change is sometimes met with resistance, but over time will be accepted and considered the “norm” again - until the next change occurs! Peace Treaty will always hold on to the tradition of history. For that history to continue to be available in the future, it will have to become a part of the digital age and Aaron is a frontiersman in this department.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 24, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Can you believe we’re just one month away from another Peace Treaty celebration?
That really puts things into perspective when you only have 30 days to “get’er done!”
The Peace Treaty board has been working very hard getting things ready for the upcoming weekend, but we still need volunteers. There are many scenes that need actors, we still need ticket takers and there is always a hole to fill somewhere. If you are interested in helping, contact me or any board member. We’ll be meeting weekly on Monday evenings from now until the pageant.
The newspaper is also working on Peace Treaty. You’ve probably noticed that for weeks now, our front page has been mostly about Peace Treaty. We are also working on our 40 page special edition that we do each Peace Treaty. It’s scheduled to come out the week before Peace Treaty in mid-September. We haven’t nailed down that date.
? ? ? ?
I’ve only heard a couple of critical comments about the newspaper price raising to $1 next week. We appreciate those who have supported us over the years and promise, we’ll do our best to be worth the extra 25 cents. Ironically, I just read an article about the Rawlins County Square Deal in Atwood, KS (population 1,250) going up to a $1. The owners said they had a few “grumpy” people, but just like us, they needed to get that price into effect to cover recent increases in production and postal rates. We’re actually one of the last papers to go up in price.
The Square Deal was started with community support in 1992 by owners Keith and Rosalie Ross, Kevin and Mary Holle and Joe and Katie Snystrup. I remember when they started up because they called on us for help and advice. At that time, we had only been in business about a year. They have new owners now, but they’ve been going strong for nearly 23 years now!
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 17, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

OK, I’ve been a slacker. I admit it, but summer was slipping by and I had a lot on my plate.
This past weekend we made a last minute decision to drive our Niece and Nephew (Sam and Lily Vick) half way back to Albuquerque, NM. They were about to start school and their Kansas family had kidnapped them for a couple of weeks.
Lily understands completely now that she is my favorite niece. She holds that title uncontested, as I have no other nieces. She also learned all the dumb little travel facts of every county between here and Amarillo, TX like, “You know how many people are dead in that cemetery? ALL OF THEM!”
Oh, I do crack myself up.
Sam and Lily also had to hear my ramblings about how Miami County Texas is 497.5/sq mi and has a population of 597 after losing one back in 2011.
It’s also a fact that a place in Canadian, TX has the world’s best bread pudding, if you like that stuff. This fact didn’t come from Google. It came from Ronda and put us about 30 minutes behind meeting their mother.
It was great to have spent time with those kids. We love you Sam and Lily!
It was also no coincidence we volunteered for the duty to drive them to Amarillo, TX. Our good friends and former Medicine Lodge citizens Dale and Michele McCurdy live there and we coordinated a dinner date with them.
We had about two years of catching up to do and after a few beverages, steaks and some good laughs, we ended up at their home where Dale, his son Colby and I played “Bayblades”. It’s like taking a dreidel or top and putting spikes on them, placing them in a fighting pit and seeing which Bayblade is the last one standing. I have to admit, I was rather amused with this game and am looking for them on Ebay. Right after I finish this column!

KWIBS - From July 27, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Could it be that an exact double of yourself is somewhere in the world?
The word is called “Doppelganger”. "Doppelganger" is German for "double walker" -- a shadow self that is thought to accompany every person.
Traditionally, it is said that only the owner of the doppelganger can see this phantom self, and that it can be a harbinger of death. Occasionally, however, a doppelganger can be seen by a person's friends or family, resulting in quite a bit of confusion.
That confusion happened to Ronda and me last week during a visit to a retail store in Wichita. Ronda and I were walking several isles apart looking for an item when all of a sudden, I saw my oldest son Joey walking towards me. I started to smile and then as I got closer, I realized Joey had gotten his ears pierced, had a stranger than normal haircut and wasn’t as enthused to see me as I was to see him.
Then it hit me. This wasn’t Joey. It was his doppelganger.
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to watch Ronda stare this same kid down and then stop dead in her tracks as he passed by. Then she started jumping up and down and pointing. I walked over and I asked, “So you saw that too?”
We both agreed that it wasn’t our son, but it was just about as close to a Joey-Double I have ever encountered.
It was a such a close resemblance that I could not resist following this young man and finally ask him to stop and allow us to take a photo with him. Now this troubled him a bit and we explained that he was the spitting image of our son. He asked to see a photo and then simply said, “wow.”
As we talked, things got even weirder. He was about the same age, had the same manorisms and even sounded like our Joey!
I snapped a photo with his permission and sent it to Joey, who only wrote, “ooo, that’s creepy.”
I told Joey we needed to take him to Wichita and find this guy and meet him. Joey explained that in legend to meet your doppelganger meant you were going to die!
But a quick google search found that rule #6 for instructions on what to do when meeting your doppleganger reads: “Don't panic. Many people who relate tales of seeing their doppelgangers live for many years afterward. Seeing your doppelganger doesn't mean you're going to die, only that you've got a fascinating story to tell.”
I later posted the photo of Joey’s look-a-like on Facebook and to my surprise, most people thought it was Joey! I had to explain to a few people that it was not in fact Joey.
Here’s that photo!

KWIBS - From July 20, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

A couple of articles appear in this week’s edition that deal with helping others.
One of these stories hits close to home for us. Joey, my oldest son and Tim Morford, our adopted summer-son, took a trip to Haiti a couple of weeks ago to be a part of the “Restore Haiti” missions.
When Joey first talked about taking off time from work and using part of his own money to go to a third world country, I thought he was crazy, but deep in my heart I knew it was because he loves to help others and I am proud of him.
And thank you to the ladies of the First Assembly for their efforts to help local families in their upcoming “Chop & Shop” to be held on Saturday, August 8th.
It is more blessed to give than to receive.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 13, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

On Tuesday, the annual “Running of the Bulls” happened. Two Americans were gored during the event held in Pamplona.
Mike Webster, a 38-year-old occupational therapist from Gainesville, Florida, was gored as he ran with the bulls in Pamplona for his 38th time over the last 11 years, he said from his hospital bed.
San Fermin’s media office said he was gored in the armpit, and Webster told The Associated Press that he hasn’t decided whether he’ll run again because he first needs to discuss the issue with his wife.
I’m pretty sure she’s going to say, “knock yourself out” or at least that’s what my wife would say.
I’ve heard it said just this week that America needs to catch up with the rest of the world. Well, if this is how we do it, I say leave us in the dust, rest of the world! As a kid from Kansas who has been on a cattle ranch for almost 30 years, I would not want to run, walk or sit anywhere near a bull.
This event is so dumb, I actually cheer for the bulls!
? ? ? ?
Did you see the falling star this past week?
Bill Cosby's admission that he used sedatives to lure at least one woman into having sex with him leaked out early last week. Netflix cancelled Bill Cosby’s shows after the allegations last November, even though media outlets have been talking about the accusations for nearly a decade. Many networks still carry The Cosby Show, but you can’t watch “The Dukes of Hazzard” on TVLand anymore because it’s so offensive.
This is dumb too.
? ? ? ?
On July 3rd, just in time to celebrate our Independence Day, Oregon Labor Commissioner Brad Avakian issued his ruling against Aaron and Melissa Klein, the owners of the Sweet Cakes by Melissa bakery that refused to bake a cake to celebrate a same-sex wedding because of their religious beliefs.
Avakian not only ordered the Kleins to pay $135,000 in “emotional damages” to the complaining lesbian couple, he also slapped a gag order on them, ordering them to “cease and desist” from “publishing, circulating, issuing or displaying, or causing to be published … any communication to the effect that any of the accommodations … will be refused, withheld from or denied to, or that any discrimination be made against, any person on account of their sexual orientation.” In other words, if the Kleins continue to proclaim their unwillingness to celebrate gay marriage in their business activities, they’re in violation of Avakian’s order.
So much for “freedom of speech” and “freedom of religion”.
This ruling is stupid and dangerous. It’s crazy to think that the complaining couple is entitled to six figures in emotional damages simply because a Christian couple refused to bake a cake for their “wedding.” In a free, ideologically, culturally, and religiously diverse country, the idea of meeting a person who disagrees with your life choices is hardly traumatic, and women who can’t handle a brief encounter with bakers who don’t want to help cater their wedding don’t need “damages,” they need counseling.
I wonder, if the Kleins refused to bake a Confederate battle flag cake for a white, straight couple from Tennessee, would Avakian find them guilty of race discrimination?

KWIBS - From July 13, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

This will be one of the harder columns to write, but closes a chapter of a legacy that I’ve been blessed to be a part of for 30 years.


Mildred L. Meairs passed away on Tuesday morning, June 30th. She was 91 years old. Her 92nd birthday would have been on September 6th. She was surrounded constantly by her family for the last five days of her life. We loved on her, read her letters, cried, laughed and slept there by her side in shifts.
People have heard the name, but may not know who she was. Many of her friends and family are gone. A brother in his late 80s (Johnny Barker), her 3 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren and 2 great-great grandchildren and a flurry of nieces and nephews remain. My wife is one of those grandchildren and I consider myself a grafted-grandchild. That’s a right of passage I earned having spent 30 Christmas Eves, 4th of Julys, birthdays, weddings, and other special events with this lady.
And she was a lady.
One of her friends wrote me Monday before she died after hearing she was failing in health, “She was (is) a classy lady and will be greatly missed. Think of the foresight/ambition of Mildred and Wayne (her late husband) in establishing the Lake, the countless hours of fun and enjoyment they made possible. I was always amazed that she had such great losses in her life and didn’t allow that to make her bitter or resentful. Instead, she went about her life with class and an eye toward the future. What a legacy!”
She did have a sorrowful life. She lost her husband Wayne in 1977, her son Earl Wayne in 1980, her daughter (my wife’s mother Barbara) in 1988 and then a grandchild Earl Wayne Meairs III (Trey) in 2001. Life was hard for her, but in all of that she was so full of grace.
My first meeting with Mildred was in 1977. It was probably right before her husband had passed away. I was about 8 years old and worked for Luke Chapin. He had a cabin at the lake and I was coming out a lot in the summer to mow the grass, wash and wax his boat and play in the lake. He would pay me pretty well and let me ride his three wheeler around.
One day I took a trip a little too far from his place on his three wheeler and ended up in a beautiful place near two ponds. In the distance I could hear the roar of an engine and saw the cloud of dust following it. Pretty soon a big red Thunderbird pulled up and this little fiery woman jumped out and proceeded to give me the biggest ripping of my life for trespassing on her ranch and near her home.
Little did we both realize that one day, I would marry her granddaughter and live at the exact spot where she caught me!
Another person wrote me Tuesday morning, “ Sorry to hear about your loss, I remember visiting with her several times when I was younger and staying at the lake... (Several times because I was in trouble.. Lol). She was a good woman...”
I could totally relate to that!
But again, she was full of grace.
After Ronda’s mom died of cancer in 1988, we were married and chose to stay here after her family moved back to Texas. We lived in her little farm house for 12 years and had all three of our children there.
In 1991, it was Mildred Meairs, who lent Ronda and me money to start The Gyp Hill Premiere. Mildred kept a ledger in her top drawer and we paid her every month, when we could, until we paid her off nearly 4 years later.
She gifted that money back to us years later. She helped us out time and time again. She did this for each of her grandchildren and loved them all so very much.
About 9 years ago, she began forgetting things and struggled to maintain her business and ranch affairs. Ronda and I stepped in and eventually took over the responsibilities. Over time, she could not drive anymore, then she began forgetting names and slowly she got to where she didn’t even leave her house.
She made it clear to us that her wishes were to never be placed in a nursing home and that she wanted no fuss made when she died. We honored those wishes as best as we could, but we did make a fuss about when she died and had a nice service for her Sunday evening at her lake.
Mildred, the private person, is who most people knew her as. “MeMe” is who I will always remember her as. That’s who my children and grandchildren will remember her as. Even at 90 years old, she would get down on the floor of her kitchen, drag out a box of toys and play with Baylee and Kycen, her two great-great grandchildren. Baylee is two years old. Grandma would play with all of her grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren. We had to help her off the floor towards the end, but she still wanted to be there close to them.
Baylee was there during the last few hours of Grandma’s life. I look back now and see how much she helped us go through those last hours. She was so funny and didn’t care that MeMe was at the end of her life. She tried to read her books and kiss her. She even got into bed with her and rubbed her arms and face.
She would say, “Wake up MeMe!” and then turn and look at us all and very seriously say, “MeMe is sleeping.”
Tuesday morning Baylee told her mother, “I want to go see MeMe.” Breeann had to tell her that MeMe went to heaven to be with Jesus.
Baylee looked her mother in the eye and said, “Jesus loves MeMe.”
We all loved MeMe and hope to continue her legacy and live by her example of love and grace.
We discovered things in her final hours that will forever be treasured: A letter from her grandson a few months before his tragic death that said, “I hope to have a house near yours in heaven one day,” a poem from Ronda’s mother that she wrote to her mom before she died encouraging her to live and love and to not be afraid, every newspaper clipping of anything to do with her grandkids, great grandkids and great-great grandkids and the craziest belt collection that we’ve ever seen. Pictured are her granddaughters Ronda and Amanda modeling some of these belts.


Thank you all for your calls and all the prayers these past few weeks. Words can not express how much we appreciate those thoughts and concerns.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 22, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Well, we seemed to have gone from desert to tropical rain forest in just a couple of months.
Flint Rucker always said, “Every drought ends with a good rain.”
He’s right. I don’t think we are completely recovered from the past few years of dry conditions, but things look so much better now than last year.
We’ve been blessed to have all of the moisture in recent weeks and lawns are trying to make a recovery all over town. With the recent lifting of water restrictions by the city, things can look good for the 2015 Peace Treaty Celebration.
That’s right! Peace Treaty is just around the corner -only a few months away!
I want to encourage everyone, residential and business, to spruce up their properties. This is a time to “showcase” our community. Mow your yard. Mow your neighbor’s yard if it needs it. Help our community look good this Peace Treaty!
Peace Treaty could always use your help! There are several ways to help like, monetary donations and sponsorships, but one of the more important ways you can help is to spread the news about the upcoming pageant weekend. Send an email message to all of your friends, post it on your facebook page or like the Peace Treaty Pageant’s official website at www.peacetreaty.org. Without ticket sales, there would be no reason for the reenactment and without the reenactment, there would be no reason for the weekend long celebration that we all look forward to. Buying tickets is now easier than ever. If you are a select-a-seat customer, you can purchase them online and have tickets mailed to you.
You can also volunteer! We’re always needing warm bodies somewhere and if you are someone looking to volunteer, drop me a note and I will get you to the right person (knoland@attica.net).

Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From June 15, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Wednesday, June 17, 2015 marks our 27th wedding anniversary.
Ronda and I were married at the First Christian Church in 1988, just a month after I graduated from high school. Tom Walters was the pastor.
We’ve experienced all of the “for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health” trials of marriage. I hope, with God’s grace, it will be many more years, “until death do us part.” I’ve scared her a couple of times, but I am trying to stay on this side of the dirt!
I love you Ronda, forever and always. Maybe we could just get away this week together to a beautiful place like in the photo below.


Happy Anniversary Baby!

KWIBS - From June 8, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

I just wanted to take a few inches here to congratulate Steve Epperson and the entire Southern Pioneer Electric Cooperative on their first steps towards their new facility north of Medicine Lodge.
They are the first, with hopes of many to follow, for a new development and industrial area north of Medicine Lodge.
This ground breaking ceremony opened with a beautiful prayer by Epperson that was very heartfelt. Epperson prayed for our community and I believe it was possibly the most sincere prayer I’ve ever listened to and agreed with. I appreciated his courage and boldness to share his faith at this event and to learn that prayer is an important part of every decision that he and his board makes about decisions that affect their customers.
Many folks might think Southern Pioneer is just another greedy utility, but they are a very generous and not for profit cooperative that gives back to the communities they serve.
From their website: “Giving back to the communities we serve is a part of Southern Pioneer Electric Company's business plan. Our employees live, work and raise families in the same communities as our consumers; we have a vested interest in developing our communities to be strong and viable for years to come. Two years ago, the H.U.G.S (Helping Us Give to Society) team was formed to do just that - give back to the communities we serve. The H.U.G.S team is proud to announce the completion of another project.”
They follow through with giving to many local groups like the Barber County Fair, Peace Treaty and the city pool, to name a few.
In past years, Southern Pioneer even filed an application with the KCC requesting a retail rate decrease! When’s the last time you’ve heard of a utility company doing that?
Congratulations SPEC! And THANK YOU!!

KWIBS - From June 1, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

The season is over and it's shots like these that make me proud of our Indians!

KWIBS - From May 25, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Congratulations
Indians!
Good Luck
At State!

KWIBS - From May 18, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

The community was saddened to hear the news of the death of Roger Lukens on Tuesday, May 12th, 2015.
I’ve known Roger for many years and I couldn’t think of many people who ranked as highly as he did in my book. Roger was one of those people who made this world a better place. He always was kind and considerate. He gave serious contemplation to every decision, weighing out all of the options so carefully, even his one to run for city council in April.
Roger had stopped by the Friday before the filing deadline to talk to me about it. I had sent him an email a few months back and had encouraged him to get back on city council. During our visit, he told me that he was praying about it.
I wasn’t the only one who had asked him to run and by the results, he was overwhelmingly the favorite of all candidates.
Prayer and faith were priorities in Roger’s life. He lived what he knew to be true. He loved people and people loved Roger. Roger loved the Lord and he lived like it.
So Roger’s chair at city council might be empty, but a new seat was pulled up to the table in heaven and Roger is sitting in it. We’ll all miss him dearly.
Prayers to Trish and the family during his passing. I pray God gives you comfort knowing that you will see him again.
Rest in Peace Roger Lukens

KWIBS - From May 11, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Parents of children! Hide this newspaper from your children. I’m letting the cat out of the bag.
Sometimes parents are just flat wrong. There, I said it and I feel so much better.
Even though age is supposed to produce wisdom, sometimes it produces stubbornness.
Shortly after Christmas, Nicholas, my youngest, made an announcement that he was not going out for track and was instead going out for baseball.
I was furious. I hate baseball.
No, I wasn’t really mad at him. It was my fault.
When my kids were young, I was dragged kicking and screaming to every tee-ball game in every town from here to Wichita. Breeann and Joey were both involved in baseball and softball and it was just one of those sports that was less interesting to me than full contact dominos.
I didn’t want to go to the games, so I devised a devious plan to divert their attention during the summer. I said to the kids, “You can play summer baseball or... I’ll buy you jetskiis!”
They chose jetskiis and for 17 years I was rid of my least favorite sport.
Because they chose the jetskiis, Nicholas never participated in any tee-ball or coach pitch or organized ball. He had, however, run track for several years and qualified for regionals last year. He has piles of medals. I knew he was good at this, so when he made his announcement that he wanted to play baseball instead of running track, I was naturally disappointed.
First, and most selfishly, I hated baseball. It’s a slow paced game that has just never kept my attention. Just ask Larry Keahey, who coached me in little league in the 1970s.
I can still hear him shouting at me out in left field, “Kevin! Put your glove back on and quit chasing butterflies!”
Secondly, Nick had never played the game. He couldn’t possibly be any good at it and now, once again, I will be dragged from town to town probably just to watch him sit on the bench.
I was wrong, wrong.....
Nicholas has turned out to be a great baseball player. He is a starter, playing left field (wonder where he got those mad skills..)
Realistically, he could use a few hours in the batting cage, but he’s fast and a great outfielder!
I suddenly realized, “Hey, I can tolerate baseball!” (With a comfortable lawn chair, some sunflower seeds, a book to read during the slow times, a large glass of iced tea and maybe a tranquilizer.)
I was having a conversation a couple of years ago with a good friend of mine, who is a baseball fanatic. I told him that I didn’t care for the sport and he said, “Awe, that’s all right, Kevin. It’s a game for smart people.”
Thanks Jeff Clarke.....

KWIBS - From May 4, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

We’ve probably all done things that our moms don’t approve of. But she doesn’t always catch us, and, if she does, it’s not captured on the national news. That is, unless you’re one young man from Baltimore.
As protests intensified late Monday night following the funeral of Freddie Gray — the 25-year-old Baltimore man who died April 19 from injuries sustained while in police custody — a video captured a mother, Toya Graham, doing her best to physically restrain her 16-year-old son and keep him from getting involved.
To put it nicely, she beat the tar out of her son on National TV and even though she has not lived the “model” life herself, she showed true courage in standing up for what is right.
For that, she gets my “thumbs up mom” award!
And with that, Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Remember giving me a bloody nose that one time? I'm sure I deserved it!

KWIBS - From April 27, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

To the MLHS Class of 2015 - This edition is for you!
This is around the 25th senior edition I have put together in Medicine Lodge. Each year I realize how old I’m getting when I recognize the kids’ in the baby photos. Yep, you all were just babies not long ago. It makes me kind of sad and happy all at the same time.
Speaking of mixed emotions. This edition is always one of my favorites to print and least favorites to put together. It’s complex to edit that many photos and keep names straight. It’s also emotional to see kids like my nephew Ryan graduating.
Time passes so quickly. So my advice to all of you seniors is to treasure this time and to treasure the life you’ve been given and seize every opportunity in life. It is up to you. Your parents have hopefully done the best they can to bring you this far. Their work is never done, but this is the point in your life that you have to start taking more responsibility.
Many of you will leave home, some for the first time. Some of you will enter the work force. Frankly, whatever you do, the reality is that some of you might fail. Don’t stop trying though when you fail. Pick yourself up and keep going.
Thomas Edison's teachers told him he was "too stupid to learn anything." - Edison went on to hold more than 1,000 patents and invented some world-changing devices, like the phonograph, practical electrical lamp, and a movie camera.
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas." - Several more of his businesses failed before the premiere of his movie "Snow White." Today, none of your childhoods would be the same without his ideas.
Colonel Harland David Sanders was fired from dozens of jobs before founding a successful restaurant. - He traveled across the U.S. looking for someone to sell his fried chicken, and after finally getting a business deal in Utah, Kentucky Fried Chicken was born. KFC is now one of the most recognizable franchises in the world, with over 18,000 locations.
Finally, this guy (I’m speaking about myself) went to college to learn to build homes. I was making good grades and loving my classes when I fell off of a house and broke my arm during my second year of college. I ended up doing what I had always done, worked at a newspaper.
Whatever life throws your way, I pray the best for you all and have been proud to cover your events for the past 12 years of your school life.
Congratulations Class of 2015!

KWIBS - From April 6, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

This story hit Facebook last week about a couple in Florida arrested for selling “golden tickets to heaven.”
Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested last weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven — simply present the ticket at the pearly gates and you’re in.
Tito Watts said in his police statement:
“I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…”
Amanda Watts said in her police statement:
“We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.”
Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, 5 crack pipes and a baby alligator!
I’m sorry, a what?
You know who should have been arrested? The hundreds of people dumb enough to buy the tickets!
One clue that these tickets were perhaps fake was that Watts claimed Jesus gave them to him behind KFC. Everyone knows that Jesus would have been at Chick-Fil-A.
Also, the entire story is fake. Even though several posted it on their Facebook pages, it’s simply not true. I suspect it was an early April Fools’ joke. Read all about it http://www.snopes.com/media/notnews/goldentickets.asp

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 30, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Few people like to “toot their own horns.” Sometimes they need a gentle nudge from people who appreciate them.
A very important election is quickly approaching. On Tuesday, April 7th, Medicine Lodge residents will have the opportunity to elect two new council members and elect a mayor.
There are four choices to fill the two council seats. It’s unfortunate that there are four good choices! With only two seats available, two very qualified people will have made an attempt to be valuable public servants to their community. I do have a horse in this race, so to speak. My father-in-law, Don Vick is running for city council. He’s new to the community, but wants to be actively involved and is eager to serve. That being said, I like all of the other candidates too: Roger Lukens, Anthony Farrar and Steve Probst. I have no questions in my mind why they want to serve. I believe all of them like the progress that our city has made over the past several years. They want to be “on board” with doing the important work of seeing us continue to grow and be as successful as any small town in Kansas can be.
Because I won’t use my column to say anything negative about a candidate, I will only say that my choice for Mayor is Major Robert Stutler. It should be your choice too.
Bob, as I will refer to him, has provided strong and professional leadership to this community. He has had no axe to grind, treated no one more special than anyone else, restored broken down buildings, used his own resources to promote and benefit Medicine Lodge, worked tirelessly and gifted all of his compensation for being the mayor. I’ll bet you didn’t know that. He might be mad at me for saying that, but it goes towards his character. Bob has been mad at me before and he’ll just have to get over it.
Maybe you only know or have met the gruff military man who loves to talk about his service to our country and his decorated service in Vietnam, but you don’t know the guy who addressed congress on Marine matters during the Carter administration. Maybe you only know the man who bought the Grand Hotel and restored it, but not the guy who traveled half way around the world to win the heart of the girl he loved and married. Maybe you only know the “gun guy”, but you don’t know that he was William B. Ruger’s right hand man until he retired and moved to Medicine Lodge 13 years ago. Maybe you think you know the guy who you hold responsible for shutting off your water for late payment, but you don’t know the guy who has given thousands of his own wealth to area churches and organizations.
Love him or hate him, Bob is so overqualified to be our mayor, it’s almost ridiculous and comical to see him challenged. I’m so pleased that he has expressed an interest to continue to serve the people of Medicine Lodge. My hope is that voters will carefully examine the motives of a candidate that wants to run against Bob.
I’ll leave you with a thought:
Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something. - Unknown
And some warning...
If you want to test a man's character, give him power. - Abraham Lincoln
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. - Edmund Burke
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. - Andrew Lack.
Go vote on Tuesday, April 7th.

KWIBS - From March 16, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

So I really struggled this week juggling 5 email accounts, two office lines, a home phone and a cell phone. So, I am un-announcing my run for President of the United States. Hillary should probably do the same. Wait, she hasn’t officially announced she is running. Maybe this whole “email-gate” will make her reconsider.
The announcement of Hillary’s email woes come at the heels of Sunshine Week. March 15-21, 2015, marks the 10th anniversary of the nationally commemorated Sunshine Week in which open government proponents throughout our nation point with pride at transparency breakthroughs. Hillary probably didn’t get that email.
Forgive me for my sarcasm, but does she really think that the American voters are stupid enough to believe that she did this out of “convenience” and that we should just trust her that she turned over all of the emails during her tenure as Secretary of State? I mean, she’s not well known for scandals or controversies (except for maybe The Russian Reset Button, Dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia, Whitewater, Travelgate, Benghazi - to name a couple).
I’m prepared for my Democratic friend who will somehow take offense to my criticism of Hillary, but are we prepared to overlook these transgressions all for the sake of electing our first female president? I don’t think so.
There are a lot of qualified, honest Democratic and Republican women who would better serve as our President than Hillary Clinton. I don’t care what their party affiliation is. I don’t trust someone who is an hour late for an impromptu press conference and then looks at the camera, reads a prepared statement and says that her email and personal email server will remain private.
I personally don’t care what she and Bill email each other or what her yoga routine is, but I do care about open and honest government at all levels, especially at the level of the President of our nation.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 9, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

You have to love the imagination and perspective of a child. As we grow older, our perspectives become narrower and often we lose our imagination. My 5 year old grandson reminded me of this last week while he was in the office.
I was showing Kycen some paintings we had hung on the wall in our hallway. He carefully looked at each one. When we were done looking, I asked him which one was his favorite?
Without a missing a beat he said, “I like the birds one.”
I was a little confused. We didn’t have a painting with anything to do with birds. I asked him to show me which one, so he took me down the hall and pointed to a painting that is an abstract of an Indian village.
“This one,” he said!
I didn’t see it. I had gotten this painting from Richard Raleigh when he moved from his old office to the courthouse over a year ago.
I told him, “Those are Indians buddy.”
“No, those are birds grandpa,” he insisted.
I finally agreed with him, for the sake of argument, and we kept looking at the other pictures.
After Kycen left I was in Ronda’s office telling her about the painting. At nearly the same time, we both saw what Kycen saw - BIRDS!
It just took us a moment to gain his perspective.
Here’s that photo.....


Do you see the Indian Village? Do you see the birds? Do you now see both?
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 2, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

Maybe you know, maybe you don’t.
For years our local Ministerial Association has hosted a Lenten Meal each week through the Lent season. The first meal was held last Tuesday evening at The Assembly of God Church with Karen Lemon delivering a great message. The church served up a fantastic meal of meatballs and cheesy potatoes, green beans and several selections of pies.
It’s all a free will donation that the Ministerial Association uses to help people in our community that are in need.
It’s a great opportunity to fellowship with other Christians in our community and Ronda and I have enjoyed these gatherings for a number of years.
Different pastors and ministers take turns giving a message at a church in town. The meals are done up by folks of the church sponsoring that week. The first 2 meals are held in the evenings so the whole family can attend. Everyone is invited to attend as our community of faith comes together. Supper on Tuesday, March 3rd will be sponsored by The First Christian Church. The pastor speaking that evening will be Dwain Richert of Community Bible Fellowship. If you come, you will be served starting at 6 p.m. and hear a short message from Dwain at around 6:30 p.m.
The last 4 Lunches are served from 11:45-12:20. Then the speaker will start at 12:20 ending around 12:30.
There wasn’t a big crowd on Tuesday, but I imagine that the out of town basketball game might have robbed some of the attendance. I just want to encourage people to come out and have a meal and hear a good message from our local ministers and pastors as we lead up to Easter. It’s a great way to celebrate the season with others in our town and it’s a great way to support the ministry of helping those in need in our community.
? ? ? ?
Alco officially closed its doors after more than 2 decades in Medicine Lodge. In all, 198 stores in 23 states closed, as did the 113-year-old discount retailer's 352,000-square-foot distribution center in Abilene, KS. That facility was recently taken over by Orscheln Farm and Home. There has been limited discussion on Orscheln taking over the property in Medicine Lodge, but nothing has become official. When we receive something official, we’ll make that announcement.
We’re not just losing Alco, we’re losing Mark Sutton. Mark has been the manager at Alco for as long as I can remember - 13 years to be more specific. He’s been very active in the community and I wish him well wherever he lands. I also hope that all the folks who have served us working at Alco land on their feet as well. Thank you all for the great service over the years.
? ? ? ?
Spring is on the horizon. We keep getting small samples of it followed by the harsh reminder that winter isn’t finished with us yet. Sunday, March 8th, Daylight Savings Time resumes. I don’t mind losing that hour of sleep and look forward to having some sunshine when I get home from work! Don’t forget to set your clocks forward!!
? ? ? ?
The Medicine Lodge Indians enter Sub-State Basketball this week. Sr. High girls will travel to St. John for sub-state play. The girls will play St. John-Hudson at 6 p.m. The boys will travel to St. John for sub-state play. The boys will play St. John-Hudson at 7:30 p.m. Good luck Indians!
? ? ? ?
As a concealed carry permit holder, I have been particularly interested in a recent bill taken up by the Kansas Senate that has been approved to allow people to carry concealed guns without requiring them to get a state permit or take training classes.
The vote last Thursday was 31-7 and sends the measure to the House. The bill is sponsored by 26 of the chamber's 40 members, led by Majority Leader Terry Bruce.
A state concealed carry permit costs $132.50, and a person must undergo eight hours of training to get one.
Gun-rights groups note Kansas has long allowed the open carrying of weapons without a state permit. The bill's critics say training should be mandated for people carrying concealed weapons.
I saw nothing wrong with requiring people to have a permit and to require them to take the 8 hours of training. It’s a reminder to those of us who carry how great a responsibility we have. The classes were educational and provided information on the laws of the state in the event of having to ever use your weapon. Those without this training may not understand the consequence of the law when or if they fire that weapon.
We don’t hand the keys to cars to our children without them first taking driver’s education. They even have to take a test before they are given a license to drive. I guess I’m one of the odd gun rights supporting people. I saw no harm in folks being properly trained to carry a weapon concealed or open.
Only time will tell whether this was a good idea or not. I can tell you that there have been few, if any, instances of a permit holder using their weapon illegally in the state of Kansas.
Let’s hope that this measure doesn’t backfire on the 2nd amendment.
? ? ? ?
Kansas legislators have introduced a number of so called “cost cutting” measures this year. One of them is to remove public notices from newspapers and publish the notices on government run websites. It’s not the first time this has been proposed. In fact, it’s an issue our industry fights almost every year for as long as I have owned and operated The Gyp Hill Premiere.
While these actions may seem like harmless, cost cutting measures, they aren't.
Not only the newspaper but more importantly you, as a taxpayer, would suffer if legal notices were not printed in newspapers.
Granted, papers rely on the revenue from public notices to help the company's bottom line. And these days, with advertisement income plummeting, many newspapers need the notices to survive. And that's what should be worrisome to taxpayers. No matter how you feel about your local paper, it is providing a critically important service to the community. It is a pillar in helping keep this nation free and democratic.
Let's review a few reasons why it's a bad idea to not publish public notices in the newspaper.
There are simply too many important issues that affect our homes, neighborhoods, schools and jobs to no longer include this information in newspapers. Tampering with city charters in this manner will curtail the public's right to know about important government actions affecting every aspect of your life.
Newspapers remain the main source of local news and important matters, such as these government legal notices.
Relying on the Internet alone, as these proposals would do, is unfair, especially to the elderly or those who have lower incomes and often have less access to computers.
Continuing to publish these important notices in newspapers is just common sense. Newspapers are an independent source of information and help provide a transparent and permanent record of these government actions.
Also, publication of these important government legal notices helps provide oversight of important matters affecting our homes, neighborhoods, schools and jobs.
Nothing in the current law prevents city governments from posting notices online, and we encourage such action in addition to publication in newspapers.
Kansas Press Association has been ahead of this for a number of years. We have a website, independent of government intervention, that publishes public notices from across the state. You can see it free of charge at www.kansaspublicnotices.com.
Removing public notices from newspapers also jeopardizes public oversight and right to know. The loss of this oversight is just too costly to the general public. These notices often deal with matters affecting home values, special assessments or fees for local residents or small businesses.
Newspapers are a fair and independent source to ensure the public is informed about these important government notices.
It's understandable that local counties, schools and municipalities want to trim expenses. But the cost is too high when they stop using newspapers for public notices.
As boring as they may seem, the notices help keep a governmental unit transparent and open. These are necessities in a democratic society.
Don't let your state leaders sacrifice your right to know for the sake of a few dollars.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 23, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

The weekend before last, I had a reminder of how old I am becoming.
Saturday Night Live celebrated 40 years of making, at least me, laugh.
I’ve been a fan since I was old enough to watch TV and I still record the show to this very day.
Saturday Night Live is one of the longest running network programs in American television history, with over 760 episodes broadcast over the span of 39 seasons. A number of the show's sketches have been developed into feature films, including The Blues Brothers, Wayne's World, A Night at the Roxbury, Superstar, Coneheads and MacGruber.
The line up of past cast members, musicians and actors was amazing and keeping with tradition, the new skits were on the edge - and often over. I caught myself laughing out loud several times.
The show has always been a launch pad for acting careers, take for instance Jimmy Fallon. Fallon became a cast member in 1998. He’s now the host of The Tonight Show. Don’t forget about some of my favorites: Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase, Jim Breuer, Billy Crystal, Robert Downey, Jr., Norm Macdonald, Seth Meyers, Dennis Miller, Bill Murray, Mike Myers, Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, Adam Sandler, Martin Short, Molly Shannon, David Spade. You also can’t forget the late John Belushi, Phil Hartman, Chris Farley and Gilda Radner.
Past Presidents, former Beatles, and famous athletes have graced the SNL stage along with some of the best musical performers over the past 4 decades.
It never mattered if you were Republican or Democrat, you were an easy target. They’ve never leaned right or left.
My favorite skit of all time has to be Celebrity Jeopardy.
I was 6 years old when the series began. Thanks for the laughs Lorne Michaels and the cast of SNL!
Have a great week.

KWIBS - From February 16, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

My wife’s Grandmother Mildred Meairs is 91 years old. Her memories are fading, but when engaged in conversation, she can remember a few things from her past.
She always asks, “Do you know anyone as old as I am?”
We always answered with, “Yes, Dub Rickard is actually older than you. Remember him?”
She would remember and we’ve repeated that conversation for many years.
Sadly, Dub passed away last week. After Bev McCollom died several years back, Dub was “dubbed” the local historian. Dub loved telling stories about Medicine Lodge’s early years. He lived many of them.
Now that torch passes again. This time most will agree that John Nixon is our official town historian. He’s always been my go-to-guy for history stuff, but there were many times he would say, “Ask Dub.” Dub was a walking history lesson. He will be missed.
? ? ? ?
Speaking of history lessons.... I had contacted my dad’s cousin Frankie Price last week about a story I remembered about our family being part Cherokee Indian.
On Tuesday of last week, I got a package in the mail with stories about my Great-Great-Great Grandmother Nancy (Beaver), Weddle, Lewellen. Nancy was born in 1832 during the Trail of Tears relocation of her family during the “Removal Act of 1830. Her birth came after a small band of Cherokee Indians escaped. Her family later settled in Missouri. At 20 years old she married an Osage Indian named Alexander Weddle. They had three children and then Alexander was killed in the Civil War.
She later married Felix Lewellen, Alexander’s Army Commander who had children of his own and was widowed. Felix was committed to an institution after the war because he never dealt with the south losing. He later died.
Nancy’s daughter Mabel and Felix’s son Samuel (yes, step brother and sister) married and had 12 children of their own. One of those daughters, Maude Minerva, married James Copeland, who was my Grandma Eithelyn’s father. Ethelyn married Bill Noland and the rest is history.
Sadly, Nancy’s family never registered with the Cherokee Tribe, so there is no official lineage on record with the Cherokee Nation.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From February 9, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

“Chick Hill Premiere,” Ronda answered the phone on Thursday.
That’s what happens when you are talking about food right before answering the phone.
Our brains are funny machines. On Wednesday I asked Ronda to buy me some pens when she went to Dirks’. She came back and gave them to me. I remember she put them in my hand and I walked to my office. When I sat down and needed a pen to write, I could not, for the life of me, find those pens. Of course, I accused my wife of taking them from me. It’s happened before....
January 16, 2015, 5 p.m.: I open my safe, pull out tickets to Cirque du Soleil for Sunday’s performance and place the tickets on my counter in my bathroom.
January 18, 2015, 10 a.m.: I grab everything on the counter and we leave for Cirque du Soleil. Somewhere south of Cunningham Ronda asks, “Did you get the tickets?”
I thought about that statement and then realized. Hey, no, I did not! Where the heck were they? I inventoried my pockets and everything was there accept those tickets.
I was like, “I put them on the bathroom counter! Where did they go?”
Ronda said, “I moved them and put them in the drawer under the medicine cabinet.”
Why???? I can only assume to test my psychic skills because that drawer contains nothing but brushes and makeup mirrors, as far as I know. I’ve never put anything in that drawer. Its contents are a complete mystery to me.
So we laughed, turned around and went back for the tickets.....
Back to my pen story.
I knew I had them as I was hanging a picture on the wall when Ronda gave them to me. I retraced my steps and found them in the drawer where I put the hammer. Ronda had nothing to do with their disappearance - this time... *wink*
Let me be clear, I love this woman with all of my heart. She’s been the love of my life for 29 years. I hope she keeps me guessing for many more! Happy Valentine’s Day Baby!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 19, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve got another confession to make....
I have a pretty big wardrobe of unworn, unwanted shirts. Many of them were free or gifted to me.
Nothing in life is finer than a comfortable T-Shirt. When I find one, I’ll wear it out and I don’t care if you think it’s the only shirt I own. Such is the case with some of my favorite shirts - generally concert shirts.
Concert shirts are like a trophy that is won from competing in an Olympic-like event. If you’ve ever been to a concert, you know what I mean. I own several trophy like Van-Halen, 3 Doors Down and the Foo Fighters. When one of these shirts eventually wears out (or magically shrinks), they get retired to the pajama’s drawer or the sleeves cut off drawer for summer wear.
I searched and searched for days for my favorite concert shirt last week. It was my “Foo Fighters” shirt. It was no where to be found. Heated arguments with my wife erupted over what happened to this shirt. I tore through what seemed like endless drawers and the bottom of my closet for this precious shirt, but never found it.
I had determined that someone had taken it. I could have never parted with it. I always come home with a shirt on.
Then, last week we had our kids over for dinner. Devin and Breeann walked in and Devin was wearing my Foo Fighter’s shirt.
Apparently, he had spilled something on his shirt during a previous dinner at our house and someone helped themselves to my shirt drawer. Possession is 9/10ths of some law somewhere and he just thought it was now his.
He was wrong.
Not wanting to be a bad father-in-law and making him go home shirtless, he walked out with a shrunken Aquaman shirt.
Have a great week.
PS: Devin, I’m going to need that shirt back. It has a summer appointment with a pair of scissors....

KWIBS - From January 5, 2015 - By Kevin Noland

I hope you all had a great holiday season. Our family enjoyed the quirkiness that is a Noland Christmas.
I made a few observations this holiday and took interest in the following facts:
1) I bought a new artificial Christmas Tree that is pre-lit, or already has lights on it. This is a great idea until part of the lights stop working, like my old one did. I simply took that one, bought a string of lights and put it up at the office. That’s exactly what they wanted me to do.... I also have no idea how they get the tree back inside the box they come in. They will never go back in there no matter how much shoving and cursing you do.
2) God bless Nisly Trash Service during the holidays (and all year round). These guys work tireless to get rid of all of the trash we make during Christmas. I know I had about three extra bags, plus at least two full recycling bins. I think they should make those trash bins transparent, so we can see what others got for Christmas.
3) No matter how many trips to the grocery store you make before it’s closed on Christmas day, you forgot something. Probably toilet paper....
4) There’s always that friend that stops by with a gift and you get caught off guard because you didn’t get them anything. Judge Richard Raleigh stopped by my office with a gift. I grabbed a rain gauge off my desk that I had won at Citizen’s Bank the week before at their open house and said, “I got you something too!” I think he’s on to me.
5) I now hate the following foods: Turkey, ham and pecan- anything.
6) Christmas isn’t complete without a child crying during Christmas Eve service. Usually, it’s one of mine. Their ages: 25, 22 and 16.
7) I could fast from December 25th - January 1st, exercise daily and still gain 4 pounds.
8) Something will be spilled - usually a drink, ok, usually my drink. A toy will break. Bad sweaters will be worn.
9) Somehow, I managed to avoid “wassail” this year. I don’t even know what’s in that.
10) True fact: Christmas trees are edible. Look it up. Many parts of pines, spruces, and firs can be eaten. The needles are a good source of vitamin C. Pine nuts, or pine cones, are also a good source of nutrition. I have an artificial tree.... I can’t get it back in the box and I’m not eating it, or ham, turkey, etc...
Happy New Year!

KWIBS - From December 22, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

A few years ago my kids unearthed a really dorky photo of me from like 6th grade. It was one of those photos that had my head floating off to one side with the black background. Everyone who lived through the 1980s either had this photo or has since destroyed one.
Each year around Christmas, I try to shoot a few photos of the kids around the tree. Of course, my daughter has a family of her own, or she would have had a head floating in this too.
Thanks to Nick and Joey for being such good sports about this!

For 23 years I have enjoyed getting to put out this edition with the Dear Santa letters.
Adalynn Cope writes, “I want a stuffed snowman, and my brother needs a new shirt. You have a nice beard. Thank you Santa for the doll.”
Notice how Adalynn compliments Santa and then thanks him for the “doll”? How could he not give this cute little girl what she asked for?!?
This is the first year that my grandson has “officially” been given the chance to write a letter to Santa. He’s got big ambitions, but I bet Santa follows through with most of his requests.
And yes, those are my grandkids on the front page of the newspaper this week. I’ve always taken the liberty to picture my kids and grandkids on occasion over the years and tried not to abuse the power too much. But come on, how cute are they?
Finally, remember why we celebrate Christmas! We have a gracious God.
Matthew 1:20-23
Behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you will call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”
Now all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Emanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”
Merry Christmas Friends!
OK.. one more dorky photo....
 

KWIBS - From December 8, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

As I’ve written many times, I am sort of a “newsy” kind of guy. I start my day off reading the news and then watching some news on TV while drinking my coffee and then, checking the news throughout the day and even leaving my TV on in my office, listening to the news.
In fact, if you get into my truck, the radio is generally tuned to the news. It’s that bad.
One thing I love is strange news. It really gets my brain’s attention. Tuesday’s news from USA Today was: About 100 brains missing from University of Texas. I misread it at first. I thought it said, “... from Washington.”
Some 100 jars of brains, possibly including one from infamous UT sniper Charles Whitman, have gone missing from a psychology lab at the University of Texas at Austin.
The missing organs, which represent about half of the university's collection, had been stored in jars of formaldehyde in a basement because the lab did not have enough room for all of them.
It is not entirely clear whether the missing organs include the brain of 25-year-old Whitman, who killed 16 people, including his mother and wife, before he was fatally shot by police in 1966. All identifying data was removed from the specimens when the center took them in.
Who’s brainiac idea was it to remove the labels from the brain jars? This instantly reminded me of the episode in Mel Brooks’ 1974 comedy “Young Frankenstein.”
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's?
Igor: No.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in?
Igor: Then you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby... Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [pause, then] Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
I can’t even make this stuff up...
? ? ? ?
Speaking of brainless acts....
I got a call from Mayor Stutler Thursday morning. He was calling to tell me that someone had vandalized the Veterans’ Memorial. That’s probably the most despicable thing I’ve heard in a long while.
Further into our conversation, I learned that it was his name and plaque that was damaged. Someone had taken and cracked his name plate, probably with a hammer.
It’s a pretty gutless and disrespectful thing to do to anyone, especially a veteran. Bob has given the better part of his life (25 years) of service to his country and several years to this community. I can’t imagine how this would make him feel. It certainly does not reflect the spirit of this community.
There are hundreds of names on that wall. My dad’s name is there. My wife’s grandpa’s name and many of my old friends who are gone, but not forgotten are also on that wall.
That corner is a source of pride in our community. It’s a thoughtful and honorable memorial to all who have served and been a part of our community. It doesn’t matter what the reason was for this particular name to be vandalized. It is just shameful.
Whether this was a dirty deed done by one of our youth in the community, or even worse, an adult, it is something we should not tolerate. I’d like to offer the first $100 cash reward for information leading to prosecution of the vandalism to the memorial. If you would like to pledge a reward amount, shoot me an email at knoland@attica.net. If you have information about this crime, please notify the MLPD or Barber County Sheriff at 620-886-5678.
 

KWIBS - From December 1, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

It’s no surprise when people refer to me as the Giorgio Armani of the community when it comes to fashion. I’m sort of a fashion king.
Ok, maybe they don’t and maybe I’m not, but I don’t care either. I never claimed to try to make a fashion statement with my wardrobe.
I could wear a T-Shirt and a pair of shorts to any event. Well, any event that my wife would let me wear shorts and a T-Shirt to. Like maybe a rock concert.
As hard as she tries to make me look good, the saying goes, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.” But do pigs even have lips?
Saturday, Ronda took me to Wichita so I could purchase a pair of slacks and a sports jacket for a couple of more formal events that are coming up in the last part of this year. I grumbled and cried, but I went with the promise that I didn’t have to spend much time shopping. It would be a grab and go. As a bonus, I could eat somewhere that had meat! I like meat.
Weeks earlier, we had stopped at Mens Warehouse, where I assumed there would be men for sale, but there weren’t any. Instead, there were walls and rows of suit pants and jackets that you could purchase after taking out a small mortgage on your home. It wasn’t like I was going to buy anything here Ronda explained, but I could at least get measured.
Measured? Why did I need measured? I explained that I was slightly taller than a dwarf and as wide as a small lumberjack. Wasn’t that good enough?
Apparently not. The lady at Mens Warehouse reached in her pocket and rolled out a flimsy tape measure thingy and went to town. After feeling rather violated, I discovered that I wear a 33/32 Regular Shirt with a 17” neck hole for my head to stick out of. I also wear a 46S jacket (that’s “short” for you non-fashion folks). So, just like I said earlier, I’m slightly taller than Sneezy and almost as wide as the Brawny Paper Towel guy.
We left with my newly discovered measurements. It sort of felt like I just got a prescription for something like glasses, but glasses would have been cheaper and faster to get.
My mission was now simple. Buy this stuff quickly and at bargain basement prices. Only that meant we had to go to the one place on Earth that I hate to go to more than a wedding. I had to go to Hell. I mean the mall.
Occasionally, I go to the mall. When I say occasionally, I mean when I drop my kids and wife off there while I go do something else. Going to the mall is exactly like being stuck in traffic, only if the cars were all going in different directions in the wrong lanes and cutting across traffic and stopping for no rhyme or reason. There’s always that guy who seems to be going nowhere in the mall quickly. He’s apparently just walking for exercise or he’s someone’s lost grandpa. I always want to catch up with that guy and say, “Sir, are you lost? Maybe you should go outside and walk or join a gym.”
I don’t like to shop and I don’t like to try on clothes and I don’t like to dress up, so that pretty much meant I was going to be miserable until it was time to eat meat. I decided that I would hit JC Penney’s. If it had “Penny” in the name, it had to be affordable.
We searched the jacket section only to discover that they do make sizes for Sleepy and the Brawny Paper Towel guy, just not their children. Every coat was either just right in the chest and long in the arms, or just right in the arms if I wasn’t planning on getting it over my shoulders. But then it happened. One jacket in the 28,000 sq. ft. store fit me. Only one.
But how could I be sure that there wasn’t another one in the mall that would look better on me? Frankly, I didn’t care. It was like I just discovered an uncharted planet and my five year mission was complete. But my wife (first officer / science officer) wanted to continue the journey and talked me in to going to Dillards (which is conveniently located 4.6 light years from JC Penney’s and then to Sears another 32 light years away), which was “going out of business”. I did not even know that Sears sold sports coats and jackets. I had never been past the Craftsman tool section.
Both those places were a bust. Sears had sports coats that were like $39 on sale, or free at most Goodwill stores. There was an idea, why didn’t I try Goodwill? Dillards had suits that were for guys much older than me..... and for funerals.
By this time I was pretty frazzled and I needed my meat, so we went back to JC Penney’s and I bought the jacket and a pair of pants and got out of there for what I could have bought 20 pairs of shorts and 10 T-shirts for. No matter, I was going to be one sharp dressed man. And every girl’s crazy about that according to ZZ Top.
Back at home now... My first opportunity to wear my new jacket came Monday night for the Community Thanksgiving Service at the Episcopal Church. I reasoned that I could wear nice blue jeans, a nice shirt and the new sports coat. Ronda didn’t argue me into the slacks, so we were off in a mad dash to get there on time.
Once there I took my seat and tried to not move much. You see, I am pretty warm blooded, so I didn’t want to get hot. This set up would have never worked in August under any circumstance. Surprisingly, I was pretty cool and made it through the service without bursting into flames, jumping out of my seat and ripping all of my clothes off.
After the service we all went down stairs for cookies and coffee. It was even cooler down there and I was feeling quite comfortable in my new jacket. That’s when the fashion king became completely dethroned....
Ronda’s eyes were on me and she had a look on her face like something horrible was happening. She was staring right at my crotch. I wanted to say something like, “hey, my eyes are up here,” but that sounded so hypocritical.
Instead, I just looked down and to my horror discovered that my zipper was down. To make matters even worse, we were standing there talking to our pastor and his wife. I turned quickly and took care of my wardrobe malfunction.
Instantly, I felt my pores open up and sweat started rolling out. Either that was a nervous reaction to the situation or the open zipper acted as some sort of central air or ventilation system for my new outfit. Either way, it was time to go.
From now on, this pig will stick to chapstick.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 17, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

If you are new to Kansas, welcome to Swinter or Sumter, whatever you want to call it. We only observe fall for 48 minutes here in Kansas between summer and winter. We just go from sweltering hot to bitterly cold overnight.
Kansas’s bipolar, would-be fall season can usually be gauged by how long the local newspaper publisher wears shorts to work. Monday, November 10th marked this guy’s conversion to long pants for some time to come. Hopefully, no longer than March or April.
Trees at my house went into shock early Tuesday morning and dropped all of their still green leaves on the ground. They looked naked and ashamed.
Sunday was National Get Your Stuff Winterized Day around my house. Yes, I waited until November to put the jetskis away and winterize the boat and to take the aerator out of the pond. Just the day before my son-in-law was standing on the dock in shorts bass fishing. He did catch a nice 5 lb bass that day. We should have figured the weather was about to change by the hoody-sweatshirt the fish was wearing.
In my closet is... chaos. I formed a search party on Monday to locate clothing that didn’t have a rock concert theme or the sleeves cut off of them. I was hunting for something in the lower leg covering department that went all the way down to my ankles. Button up shirts were neatly tucked away 200 yards in the back of my closet. To make matters worse, my light bulb burned out sometime in 2006 and I haven’t changed it. I just can’t find the time. I just grab a flashlight, three days worth of food and water and go in. My family knows what to do if I don’t return.
But no matter how cold it is outside, this guy is always prepared to fire up the grill. I keep it right outside my front door where I can run out barefoot, flip a steak and run back in before losing a toe.
Welcome to winter everyone. Meh....

KWIBS - From November 3, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

On Tuesday, October 28th, NASA launched a rocket intended to bring supplies to the International Space Station. The rocket was made by a private company called Orbital Science. It blew up 6 seconds after it launched. Thankfully, it was unmanned and no one was hurt. This company was using a refurbished Soviet era engine made by the Russians nearly 40 years ago.
There were a lot of comments about how our space program is now a big joke under the Obama Administration, but to be fair, this wasn’t NASA or American technology, rather a private “lowest bidder” company. It does reflect badly that we’re relying on old Russian technology to get our space station personnel things like toilet paper.
Some of the comments about the story were the best part of the story! Here’s a few that I wanted to share.
“Common core at work,” Ronald E. King.
“Exact same results as the launch of the Obamacare website,” Erin Simmons.
“Interesting coincidence: Obama wanted more participation from Muslims. They excel at explosions...,” Craig Gholston.
“Well, this is embarrassing! Kind of the way the whole country is going! No more rockets red glare just our rockets bursting in air!,” Melissa Olson.
“Good test run. Put Obama on the next rocket,” Mike Mailton.
“This administration is bringing our quality down to North Korea standards,” Peter Thrush.
“Obama won’t know anything about this until he sees it reported by the media,” Roger Trover.
“I’m sure this is George W. Bush’s fault,” Joe Whittle.
Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 27, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

It was getting late on Wednesday evening and our youngest son Nick hadn’t gotten home from his youth group at church.
Ronda asked, “Do you know where Nick is?”
“I don’t,” I answered. It was getting late and I could tell by the look on my wife’s face she was concerned.
“No worries,” I said. “I’ll send him a page!”
A what?
I clearly meant that I would send him a FAX...
I don’t know what I was thinking, but my brain must have transported itself back to 1988.
When I was Nick’s age we didn’t have cell phones. There were phone booths and payphones and they were pretty much everywhere. All you needed was a dime, then a quarter, then a dollar. Then they just disappeared one day. Superman has been lost and unable to find a place to change clothes ever since.
When I was even younger, the moms in the neighborhood would use a crude form of Morse Code using the porch light. When they flickered on and off, it was time to leave or time to get home. I remember one mother who would scream out the front door for her kid and say it was bed time. You could hear her from blocks away.
Isn’t it funny how technology and terminology for the technology has changed so much in such a short time. I actually was cleaning out a drawer the other day and found my old pagers. I had carried up to two pagers. I have no idea why. We also released our FAX machine into the wild. We were mostly getting junk FAXes and I just told all of our customers to email us.
Have a great week!
 

KWIBS - From October 20, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

From the time I was just a young kid, there has always been something to be afraid of or worry about...
My first worry or fear I had was probably acne or getting a wedgy in school.


But it was shortly after that I remember Russians and the Americans each had fingers on nuclear launch buttons, ready to destroy each other. About the time I got married, monkeys had spread HIV and AIDS to humans. Then we invaded Iraq and I was afraid I would be drafted. Soon after, terrorists attacked us on our own soil. The stock market crashed a couple of times. Korea and Iran went Nuclear.


And then there’s the regular stuff to worry about like: global-climate-warming-change, tornados, blizzards and ice storms, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanos, meteors, mud slides, swine and bird flu, terrorists with weapons of mass destruction, droughts, flooding, sand storms, crazy people with guns, the president, the government, GMOs, HMOs, looking stupid while dancing, losing Facebook Friends, receding hair line, forgetting to DVR my favorite show, being out of wine, another Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, where I put my keys, the return of spandex, did anyone just hear me pass gas?


Now Ebola?!?!


Please.... Everyone, stop what you are doing and take a deep breath. Stay calm.
My hope is that one day in the future, you’ll go back and read this column and laugh because now you’re worried about pending alien invasions.

KWIBS - From October 6, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Thursday’s massive earthquake in the area completely destroyed my Barbara Streisand album collection....

The 4.4 did noticeably rock our office and lasted long enough for Doris to come in screaming "EARTHQUAKE". I knew something was wrong because my lamp was moving and my leg was either twitching, or the floor was moving.

The phenomena is probably best explained by the fact that God hates Kansas sports, ie. the Kansas City Royals making the playoffs, or the Chiefs beating the Patriots last weekend.

Speaking of God, shortly after the quake, came this loud crack of thunder. I was motivated to offer up a couple of "I’m sorries and please forgive me’s." I then went outside to see a lot of people out in the streets looking skyward.

Damages to my office were estimated in the .20-.45 cent range.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 29, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I made quite a trek last week. We decided to take in the Walnut Valley Festival in Winfield on Sunday, September 21st and then took an unexpected trip to a football game the very next day in Douglass, KS. We put a lot of miles on the truck and we made time to stop in places like Wellington and Oxford, just to look around and see what makes their communities unique.

Getting into Douglass about an hour before the football game on Monday, Ronda and I drove around to see the community. There wasn’t much of a business district, but some of the old homes and buildings had some neat architecture. We stopped at a gas station and, as I do in every community I go through, I bought a newspaper.

After talking with the city clerk, I learned that Douglass had a website and I did read about the history of the city and the founder who was shot and killed not long after he had established the city.

The town’s historian records only a blurb about the newspaper, "A newspaper was begun in 1879 and was printed off and on under different editors."

That newspaper I bought at the gas station was the Butler County Times-Gazette in El Dorado, KS. There was no real mention of Douglass, KS. I asked around and learned that their city hadn’t had a newspaper for the better part of 20 years. I thought that was sad.

What would a town look like that didn’t ever have a newspaper at one point? What would the relationships be like between folks living there? It seems like it would be some sort of strange place where everyone walked around with their eyes to the ground not making eye contact, no community organizations existed and no progress had ever been made. The town is essentially dead.

A newspaper is what makes living in a community a special thing. You see, without one, there is no sense of "home". It always amazes me that folks who haven’t lived in Medicine Lodge in decades still take our newspaper. It’s a way to keep that connection, even though most times, the names and faces are not as familiar.

If you are a "Days of Yore" fan, you probably enjoy reading about people that are now just a part of our community’s history. If not for a newspaper, there would have been no reference for this column. Without a newspaper, much of the town’s history could have been forgotten.

The newspaper has always been the place where a community turned to share its stories, to announce a fundraiser, to share a photo of a grandson who graduated, to thank doctors and nurses for excellent care after a hospital stay, to see a photo of a new business, to find volunteers, to sell a pickup; the list goes on and on.

I’m a third generation newspaper publisher. My Grandpa Bill got ink in his blood back in the 1930s and after both my uncle and my dad operated newspapers, my wife and I started ours in 1991. As a publishing family, we’re closing in on 50 years of continuous newspaper publishing in Medicine Lodge. I am proud of that fact. During all the time in my life spent in and around the newspaper business, I have been fortunate to see so many advancements and changes in the way a newspaper is made. I love community journalism - especially small-town community journalism.

Towns without newspapers suffer an identity crisis in my opinion. With people now using social media for much of their information, you often see a lot of confusion of fact and fiction. Although I love the Internet, I see things like Facebook "news" as a dumbing-down of sharing real news. Don’t get me wrong. It has it’s place and I use it along side our newspaper, but it doesn’t replace the newspaper. Nobody in 100 years from now will scroll down through millions of pages of newsfeed to find when the town’s founder was shot and killed. However, they very well could go to their local library, find a microfilm reader or archive of newspapers and read all about it.

October 5-11 is national newspaper week. Its probably not something marked on your calendar and nobody will probably make a big deal about it, but I wanted you to know that it is happening and here I am writing about it.

KWIBS - From September 22, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

I pride myself in thinking I have a good ear for music. I like pretty much all genres and can occasionally even handle some rap music.

So when I heard about the name of this band, it naturally sparked my curiosity and I had to check them out. They were simply called "Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy." Now "Carry" as we call her wasn’t around in the time of the speakeasies, but there was still something about that name that made me do a search on the old interwebasphere thing on my desk and what I found made me smile!

Carrie Nation & the Speakeasy is a high energy, acoustic brass n grass 5-piece from Wichita, KS. The band, whose sound has been described as "…a stagecoach in overdrive", has brought their eclectic blend of punk, bluegrass, and dixieland to packed bars, basements, and festivals across the US since their inception in the spring of 2007. They were a featured act in Winfield at the blue grass festival this past weekend.

"How can we get theses guys in Medicine Lodge?" I asked a buddy of mine from Wichita. And it just so happened that the lead singer from Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy, was engaged to his daughter and living in Kansas City! I got the number and within a week, we had them booked for Indian Summer Days.

This is the perfect venue for this music and I hope will be exactly what the museum needs to jump start fund-raiser efforts to do some much needed maintenance. The concert is being sponsored by The Peace Treaty Association and bean feed by the Lions Club and is a free will event.

This event happens on Friday, September 26 and Carrie Nation and the Speakeasy will share the stage with The Peace Treaty Night Show cast and our very own Carry A. Nation!

Come out for the gun slinging, banjo plucking, bank-robber-hanging, bean-feeding event on Friday night and bring your friends, family and lawn chairs! It starts at 5:30 p.m.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 15, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Some of you can probably relate to this. Is it just me, or does the state fair seem like one long infomercial?

One of my desires to go to the Kansas State Fair is that I only have my glasses cleaned once a year by some "glass cleaning specialist" complete with tatoos and missing teeth in many cases.

I really go for one thing - a Gyro! I used to go for the Pronto Pup, but that’s sort of off my approved menu these days. While eating our Gyros, Ronda and I watched some guy with spray paint and a sheet of cardboard making what some call art and I call a Pink Floyd video. I don’t know if it was the paint fumes or the fact he kept lighting his artwork on fire, but he drew a crowd!

Am I the only one that doesn’t get a sample of all of the food that the pots and pan peddlers cook up? Some guy wearing a headset microphone and making dumb jokes about his grandmother’s secret pie recipe always seems to make just enough food for the front row or one or two really attractive women in the audience. I never get anything.

I also noticed that many of the booths were exactly the same as in past years. I didn’t see anything new that caught my attention, just more vibrating pillows, wood carved vases, and shirts with a picture of your favorite pet on them.

I don’t want to sound like I hate the fair because we did have fun, but man, it’s difficult to maneuver through the merchant buildings. I think they should have one day dedicated to wagons, strollers and electric mobility scooters - or at least one day banning them. Maybe they could build a chair lift inside the buildings like they have on the grounds and just fly people over the foot traffic.

I promised Ronda that when I become the guy in the scooter chair, I'll stay out of the merchant buildings so I don’t hold up the lines of people just trying to get through. Now if she decides to pull me around in a wagon, well, that's another story.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 8, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Let them eat candy!

City Councilman Ron James will be remembered throughout history as the man who overturned the rule that you can’t throw candy during parades.

It happened Monday night at City Council..

"I go to hundreds of parades and they can throw candy everywhere, but here. I think it’s stupid," he said, so elegantly.

I couldn’t have said that better myself Ron!

Ron made the unexpected motion to remove that portion of the language in a memorandum of understanding with the Peace Treaty Association on the upcoming Indian Summer Days parade. Chief Nick Krug, the council and the Mayor all agreed that it was an overcautious rule that was unnecessary.

So for the first time in probably a decade of parades, candy CAN be thrown from floats and vehicles!

I was quite shocked. I was at the meeting and was there representing Peace Treaty for the upcoming Indian Summer Days events. I did not expect or request the memo with the city be amended in anyway. So, to say the least, I was pleasantly surprised by Ron’s request to remove that line and approve the agreement!

I will say that this is contingent on parents and children being safe and staying out of the flow of the parade; and those with floats being careful of the children in the streets.

This is going to be great! Thanks Ron and thank you city council!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 1, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

After one of the most amazing harvests we’ve ever had with our front yard peach tree, my son decided to buy a book, dig a hole and fill it in with water. You read that right.

No, he didn’t need the book to dig the hole, but it took him more than a shovel to dig that hole. He ended up using a pick ax before it was done, but he got that hole dug.

Why did he dig the hole? Because the book told him to.

Joey bought a book on peach orchards. He’s decided that since we have one awesome tree in our front yard, we should have a dozen! The book had a section on the type of ground and soil best suited for growing peaches and how to test the soil. So Joey dug a hole.

Now mind you, I told him, "Why would you need to dig a hole to find out if the soil is right? We have an awesome peach tree growing right there! Obviously, it’s the right soil!"

But, I didn’t write a book on growing peaches. And although it is an awesome peach tree, it was dumb luck on my part when I planted it 15 years ago. So I sat back and watched Joey dig a hole, fill it with water and watch it drain. Amazingly, he discovered it’s the right type of soil to grow peaches!

And now you have the hole story....

 

KWIBS - From August 25, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

I too watched in amazement at the use of force by a militarized police force this past week in Ferguson, Missouri after the shooting death of 18 year-old Michael Brown.

How scary that those sworn to protect and serve us were now pointing guns and launching tear gas at citizens! I'm torn between law and order and the right to free speech. Now before you rush to judgment on this comment understand that burning Quick Trips and throwing Molotov Cocktails are not expressions of free speech. They behaved like criminals in all reality and it demanded a response of force.

Calling in the National Guard and bringing in such a showing of police force was absolutely necessary in this instance. This "peaceful protest" as it was called, was quickly becoming a riot situation that endangered life and property. I believe the response was unfortunate, but very appropriate.

How sad it is that it becomes an issue of race when a white officer shoots a black youth. How sad it is that our media jumps to conclusion and instantly embarks on a hunt for the real killer, a white cop who killed a good boy - that very same good boy who was stealing and shoving a business owner just a short time before the law tried to arrest him and sadly killed him. How did it happen? Was he kneeling to surrender or did he double back and charge at the officer? Eye witness accounts are all over the place. Some had him running away and he was shot in the back, some say he knelt to surrender and some claim he charged the officer. I don't know what the officer was thinking when he pulled the trigger. I just don't know and the reality is, no one has all the facts yet.

The media is all over this and practically has Officer Darren Wilson convicted of murder before the facts are all in. Even Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon said "a vigorous prosecution must now be pursued."

As far as reporters being arrested...The reporters were probably warned to stay out of the way during a very volatile situation. It's not a freedom of the press issue to be inserting yourself into harms way when ordered not to. I've gone to car accidents to take photos and been ordered to stand back. I didn't just ignore the law and jump in for a shot. I put on a different lens and waited for an opportunity. Olson got the shot he wanted and probably the attention. Olson and the DOJ should have gone to Chicago over the weekend where 7 were killed and 29 were wounded. But that's not near as cool as one thug in Ferguson and rioting.

Oh, too soon to call that young man a thug? My apologies. I guess you missed that quick shop video.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 18, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Let me say, I love my mom. There’s no limit to that love as a son should love his mother.

Or maybe there is.

My mom came into the office last week and brought me an advertisement that she had received in the mail. With a smirk, she handed me a brochure for a "Forever Together" Diamond & Birthstone Pendant.

I read with interest:

"Spectacularly emblazoned with both your names and birthstones."

"There is no love exactly like yours. In what may be the most romantic gift ever, you can honor your unique bond with a custom-made diamond pendant. Forever Together is personalized with your names and birthstones in a timeless celebration of what you share."

Unique? More like creepy....

KWIBS - From August 4, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Love him or hate him, Austin Gilley will be leaving his position as City Administrator at the end of this week.

Austin and I have had a good working relationship. It was rocky at first. We didn’t quite see eye to eye on a few things, but I am glad that it did not get in the way of us working together.

I believe the majority of people, who actually got to know him and work with him, appreciate what he had to do - what he was hired to do - do the hard things that were necessary to see Medicine Lodge make progress. He helped Medicine Lodge pick itself up by the bootstraps and do the hard things that didn’t get done in the past.

Now we’re on our way. We’ve got systems in place, protocols and the tools necessary to keep moving forward. We can thank Austin for this and we can thank a city council that hired him almost five years ago. Some of those council members are long gone, but it was good leadership and forward thinking that brought him here in the first place.

I’m optimistic about the future of this position. I believe that in today’s world, Medicine Lodge needs an administrator if it wants to keep moving forward, not decline like many communities our size. There’s a lot of things that happen behind the scenes that normal elected government officials are just not qualified to deal with.

It’s too bad that the position is often a thankless job. I for one do want to thank Austin for at least one thing that occurred during his tenure. Austin made our city government transparent in its operations. As a newspaper guy, I like that. It makes my job easier providing you the news.

In our 23 years writing the communty’s news, it’s never been easier to gain access to information. I appreciate that change. I appreciate the attention to detail that Austin made on every project he worked on. I appreciate even when we didn’t agree and that when Austin was right or wrong, he was honest about it and we could always work through things.

Austin will do good things in his next job. I have no doubt of this. I wish him and Medicine Lodge the best in their futures!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 14, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Somewhat forgotten by most of America was the news of global surveillance whistle blower Edward Snowden.

Snowden was a former systems administrator that worked for the CIA and did counterintelligence work at the Defense Department. In May of 2013, he left his job and home in Hawaii and flew to Hong Kong where he met with journalists Glenn Greenwald and Laura Poitras, releasing numerous NSA documents to them.

Snowden's leaked documents uncovered the existence of numerous global surveillance programs, many of them run by the NSA and the Five Eyes with the cooperation of telecommunication companies and European governments.

What was rumored for years became factual. Our country has been collecting data and spying on its own citizens for years.

You think I am just a conspiracy theorist?

Within the last year our AFS student Elli Unger traveled to see us from Austria, twice. During the most recent trip she was detained and agents from Customs were able to tell her much about herself and her American family, i.e.. Ronda and I.

Because she didn’t have a final destination address, Customs and the NSA investigated and were able to tell her where we lived, what our occupation was and our address simply by scanning her passport. She was cleared to leave after being interrogated the first time, and interrogated and detained for almost 12 hours the second time.

Everything you do electronically is gathered and stored by servers all across the country. The data is analyzed and if flagged by some computer program, investigated by a real person.

I’ve been reading a book by Glenn Greenwald and Laura Poitras called "No Place To Hide." Snowden's release of NSA material was called the most significant leak in U.S. history. We literally have no place to hide and no right to privacy under the excuse of "National Security."

Americans seem a little uninterested in all of this. It’s almost like they don’t care, but look closely at this whole situation with Lois Lerner and the missing IRS emails.

Lerner, now retired and disgraced, is viewed as the central figure in the scandal. Time-wise, this is curious since she was allegedly advised of the practice a year after it began. However, it’s also clear that she was ultimately in charge of the review practice, had knowledge of the practice and did nothing to stop it. She may have even encouraged and/or expanded the practice. It’s tough to tell. It’s tough because a number of key pieces of evidence – her emails – have gone missing.

According to reporting by Forbes, all investigations and inquiries into this have resulted in no criminal charges. That’s likely because, so far as what’s been made public, there’s no evidence to support that the behaviors, while characterized as "absolutely incorrect, insensitive, and inappropriate" were criminal.

Last Friday, my computer had a melt down. I lost the ability to access my files on my hard drive. The newspaper was unaccessible and the deadline was approaching to go to press.

Did I panic? Yes, I did, a little bit. Although it was a process I don’t want to do on a weekly basis, I was able to recover my files because our little old newspaper invested $900 a couple of years back on a back up system. It took about 2 hours to fix my problem. Maybe it wasn’t as big of a deal as an IRS hard drive crashing, but I can recover work from, at the minimum, the past two years. I also have great archives of my email and accounting. Some of my data backed up goes clear back to 1999.

Sadly, the IRS and my government want me and every other American to believe that the IRS can’t recover the emails requested by congress from the period of time Lois Lerner has been encompassed in this scandal. (In all fairness, the IRS has provided more than 27,000 emails from Lerner’s computer, just not the ones dating from 2010-2011 that are key to an investigation.)

My story has a simple point to it. If I can restore my data and my government can know everything they need to know about me, my business and where my AFS student goes, (simply by connecting the dots from scanning a passport) am I supposed to believe that the IRS is so badly mismanaged and has no oversight that it can’t recover lost emails? Does that seem reasonable? Could The Gyp Hill Premiere be more technologically advanced than the IRS?

Put your party affiliation aside for a moment and put on a hat of reason and ask yourself the serious questions about our government.

This article and more about me archived by the NSA and department of defense.

Have a great week.

 

KWIBS - From July 7, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

I’m not purposely trying to be a slacker. The past few weeks have been super busy for us and I just didn’t have time to set down and type!

A few weeks back Ronda and I celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary. Over that weekend we had some special guests, Brent and Tracy Shaw, visited us. They were actually here for a wedding that we were all attending, but we turned it into an opportunity to clear out our refrigerator and catch up on old times.

Brent is a 1986 graduate of MLHS and a long time friend. His mom and dad are Dean and Connie Shaw, former residents of Medicine Lodge, more recently of Wichita and now of Phoenix, AZ.

It seems like each time we get together with Brent and Tracy, the stories really start to flow after a glass or two of wine. This occasion was no different.

Tracy told us this story. Since she’s not from here, she’s fair game:

Tracy and Brent live in a busy suburb of Phoenix where Brent recently retired from the Phoenix Police Department. He received a panicked phone call after the event from his wife while on duty one day. Tracy had locked herself out of the house.

Now we’ve all done this before. The only difference was that Tracy was stark naked. She had just gotten out of the shower and stepped out her back door to shut off a running hose in the yard. It was going to just be this quick "out and back in" maneuver (obviously, no reason for clothes), but when she turned around to go back into her bedroom she discovered her dog looking at her through the door. She was locked out and naked. ...Her only way to get back in would be to go around front and enter the code to her garage. Remember, it’s a busy suburb of Phoenix, AZ.

She explained to us that the neighbor on one side of her house was a Baptist preacher, the other a complete pervert. She chose the Baptist preacher approach. Tracy found an old window screen and wrapped herself up in it and darted around the front of the house. With heavy neighborhood traffic and her neighbors watching, she made her move and said it seemed like the slowest garage door opening in history. Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 16, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

The second mouse gets the cheese...

For one mouse, it had become a battle of woman vs. rodent. Tuesday it was, Rodent 2, Woman 0.

It started last week. Ronda came running upstairs screaming that there was a mouse in her laundry room. She’s embarrassed by the fact that we have a mouse and has threatened me with an inch of my life for reporting it. I have assured her that our readers are not going to judge us because we have a mouse. We live out in the country. Mice happen... She’s been putting out live traps all week.

This particular mouse was sighted again the next day while Ronda was drinking coffee in the morning. Not only was it sighted, but it jumped a sticky trap so as not to be caught. Ronda witnessed the entire traumatizing ordeal.

When I got up, she reenacted the event where this mouse avoided capture by jumping over the sticky trap. She’s so cute - my little mouseketeer of sorts. It was at this point that she became obsessed with getting this mouse - dead or alive.

She bought more sticky traps, so many we could have tiled part of our home. She also broke down and bought the snap traps. This mouse was not getting away.

Tuesday evening she set up an "FOB" (forward operating base) in our upstairs living room. She strategically outlined where the traps would be located. Since the morning coffee event, more evidence was gathered damning the mouse that Ronda had now nicknamed "Rambo".

She gathered the family together for a briefing.

"There are traps everywhere," she exclaimed. "Avoid the following areas," she pointed out.

The grim task of setting the snap traps became my duty, since Ronda is afraid of even opening a bottle of champagne or a Pillsburry Grands Biscuit container.

She had purchased some easy load traps that could be reusable. I read the directions carefully after removing the traps from the box.

Step one: Open bait box and put peanut butter inside the marked area.

Step two: Lift the killing bar into position.

Step three: Place trap in trafficked area.

"Killing bar." That got my attention. I carefully put in the peanut butter using a butter knife and lifted the killing bar into position. Then I tested it with the butter knife.

Ronda screamed and I winced a little knowing that this contraption was about to take the life of an innocent mouse that was simply trying to exist.

I licked the peanut butter off of the knife, placed it in the sink and set the traps downstairs. Ronda said that was gross, but come on, the traps were brand new.

She asked, "How do you know they don’t test them in the factory?"

I envisioned some scientist with this mouse trap setting it at the end of a maze and a little white mouse being released from a glass beaker.

"Yep, this one works. Wash that peanut butter off the trap and put it in the package for sale," he’d say. "Then grab me another one," while licking the knife clean.

I doubt that, but maybe it was a little gross.

We set the traps down stairs. It was just a waiting game now. The mouse didn’t stand a chance. There were 9 live sticky traps and 2 "killing" traps. He would choose his own destiny: slow, sticky, painful or a quick snap.

When I got up the next morning, Ronda was downstairs and she wasn’t happy. One of the sticky traps was shredded and the mouse had escaped. This would not stop Ronda, who by this point had become a crazed serial mouse killer. Only she hadn’t killed anything as of yet.

With its zany action on a crazy contraption, the popular Mouse Trap game has been entertaining and delighting kids of all ages for 50 years. My wife was about to reinvent the game using house hold items.

After I got out of the shower, she called me downstairs to show me her creation. There was a bucket of water under a table where the boys keep their snacks. A tiny box was placed next to the bucket of water.

"OK, I give up," I said.

She was almost yelling at me like I was stupid at this point, "The mouse will eat the boys’ snacks, get thirsty, climb on the box for a drink and then fall in the water bucket and drown"

I’m going to need some good psychiatric advice... and maybe a cat.

UPDATE: Wednesday afternoon the "Killing Bar" served up Rambo’s last meal. Ronda had so hoped that her bucket of water would have worked... By the way, tomorrow is our 26th anniversary. I love you Ronda. :) - Also, happy 25th to Dale and Jodi Lonker! Have a great week.

KWIBS - From June 2, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Junefest is this coming weekend and I want to highlight one of the events for my readers.

On Saturday evening, June 7, Aaron Newman and the OK Caravan will be performing downtown. The evening performer is an act out of Oklahoma City, OK. They have shared the stage and played events and festivals with acts such as Jakob Dylan (Bob Dylan’s son) of the Wallflowers, The Lumineers, The Steve Miller Band, Stoney Larue, Aranda, Jason Boland, Graham Colton, Susan Gibson, Johnny Lee, Jacob Fred Jazz Odyssey, Dr. Hook, Of Montreal, Tea Leaf Green and Other Lives.

You might be wondering, how did we get such a talented group to play for Junefest? I would love to take credit for that, but it is actually being made possible through a grant from our local tourism committee to bring quality entertainment in to Medicine Lodge.

 

It also doesn’t hurt that I’m friends with the bass player.... Mr. Chad Roper is one of the best musicians I have had the pleasure of meeting over the last few decades of being involved with music. Chad was the former bass player of Aranda, which if you read my column, you know I’m a fan. Chad’s been a studio musician for years, a model, oil field trash, and a private investigator. He’s married to Associate District Judge Michelle Roper of Beckham County (probably his single biggest claim to fame). He’s also no stranger to the greater OKC area. Currently he is the morning DJ host for 101.7FM KKZU "The Zoo" and I listen to his talk show every morning on the internet and usually shake my head..... This dude and his multi-talented group of guys will surely be crowd-pleasers. I hope you can come out and I’m praying for good weather!

See you at Junefest!

 

KWIBS - From May 26, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

When I was a kid and my dad said, "I want your help on a building project", that usually meant I was going to carry lumber or swing a sledge hammer. I didn’t normally look forward to that. As I got older and a little more useful in the construction department, I found myself really enjoying spending time with my dad and building things.

Our last project together was my fence around my house. We built it out of cedar posts and bolted the entire thing together. I think we spent about a week on it. It is quite a fence and it’s been there for 15 years now.

One of the biggest things we did together was build a shop on his ground east of town. It started out as a garage, morphed into a beauty shop and after the property sold, became the pastoral offices of Community Bible Fellowship.

A little known fact about your local newspaper publisher: I went to college to learn construction and design. While in school from 1988-1990, I worked with a class who built homes on campus at PCC and then when they were finished, moved them to location. I enjoyed learning the trade and would have gone into that career had it not been for an unfortunate accident I had while roofing my mom’s house. I fell off of it.

Thus ended my career in construction. I had to learn to do everything with my left hand since my right one was in a cast for 6 weeks. I eventually healed, but have some issues with my right arm still 25 years later.

For the past couple of weeks, I have employed the skills, or lack of skills, of my two sons; and additionally my wife, son-in-law, grandson, neighbors and anyone who would help for an hour or two to build a dock on our pond. At first my boys grumbled, but soon began enjoying seeing the progress happen as we built a pretty impressive and large dock to our spillway.

After a few days, the help started disappearing for one reason or another. It might have been a girlfriend, Teeball practice, a basketball playoff game; whatever the reason, I kept working. Eventually, they felt sorry enough (or I whined enough) that they came back out to help me finish the dock.

Once we had it all stained set it in the water last Tuesday evening, they both had a real sense of accomplishment. I had the joy and pride of working with my boys. It will be project that will most likely out-last me and every time my boys use the dock, they will have the constant reminder of something we built together with our own hands - just like the memories I have about my father each time I see the building we built together when I go to church at Community Bible Fellowship.

Have a great week!

My sons, Joey and Nicholas, not beating each other to death with power tools.

 

KWIBS - From May 12, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Several weeks ago now, a tragic accident nearly claimed the life of one of our own.

Liz Armstrong Edwards, nearly lost her life while biking on the Isabel Road, a serious reminder of how precious life is and how every day is a gift from God.

Every day we interact with people in our little community. We have so many differences sometimes, that we can’t even see the common ground. Our lives intersect and overlap, but we often get so busy, we don’t even cherish the little moments that we have together.

I remember my last conversation with Liz about three days before her accident. I was commenting on the produce section at White’s and had told her how much I liked the salsa. I also remember asking her about fresh cherries and a recipe I wanted to try. Liz went out of her way to help me find my ingredients.

Liz is slowly recovering, a miricale and amazement to doctors, family and friends. The accident has resulted in a rally to help Liz and Brett through this difficult time. A fund has been set up at The Citizens Bank at 120 East Kansas in Medicine Lodge to help the Edwards as Liz recovers - and she will, but it will take time.

We’ve only barely touched on the story of her accident and process of healing that is to come. It will be a hard road to travel, but one I believe that Liz and Brett are up to.

Liz and Brett have been so strong through this "ripple" in their lives. If you haven’t already given a gift to help them, please consider doing so.

If you have already given, please consider giving again. Value the friendships we have in our small town. Keep Brett and Liz in your thoughts and prayers and keep all who are directly involved in the accident in your prayers. We’re a community of friends and family. No one set out that day with intentions of being involved in an accident like this. We can only use the situation to love each other more by helping.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 5, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

We got so filled up last week, I had to take my column out of the paper. I wanted to congratulate the MLHS Class of 2014 on their Graduation (yesterday afternoon).

We had a lot of parties to attend this year. It seems as we get older, we know more and more of these kids graduating.

Every once in a while, it hits you – "Man, I’m old." Many of us are having the same experience as we realize the majority of the graduating class of 2014 at MLHS was born in 1991 and 1992, when Clinton was in the process of becoming the 42nd president!

The kids today don’t know what life was like before the internet or at least haven’t endured the screaming modem connecting through a telephone landline!

They’ve always had email, but now it’s tragically uncool to use an email for anything other than formal correspondence. It has become an archaic form of internet communication and it has been replaced by texting and by social networking sites.

Do you realize most of the kids from the class of 2014 have probably never used cameras with film? We didn’t have immediate gratification after taking a round of photos because we couldn’t upload them onto your computer. Instead, you dropped the roll off at the drugstore and waited until the photos were developed – it was the only way you would see the photo.

When I was a kid, we listened to records on our turn tables and if I wanted it to be portable, I carried my Sony Walkman! Most of these kids probably have never seen a Walkman and listen to their music in digital format.

It’s a different world we live in today and it’s the constant change that is exciting. Congratulations Class of 2014. I hope one day you are privileged enough to look back and see the many changes that I have over the 26 years since my graduation from MLHS!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 28, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Congratulations MLHS Class of 2014!

KWIBS - From April 21, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

I’m one of those people who love dumb facts. When my father-in-law was here a few weeks ago, he insisted on sharing a bunch of useless facts with me, which was quite entertaining. He told me the word "Gringo" was actually derived during the Mexican-American war because Americans would sing the song "Green Grow the Lilacs." The Mexicans could hear the Americans singing it and only picked up "Gringo". Could be true - probably not, but who cares!?!

A friend of mine posted a really dumb and obviously fake fact on the Internet the other day:

"70% of the Earth’s surface is made of water," he proclaimed. "The other 30% is made of idiots..."

Now here are some that I can’t confirm or deny, but they were entertaining:

When you get a kidney transplant, they usually just leave your original kidneys in your body and put the 3rd kidney in your pelvis.

The United States in World War 2 created a bomb that used bats. The bats would be carrying small incendiary charges and would be released from the bomb in mid air, causing them to fly and scatter to different buildings in the area. The charges would then detonate and set all the buildings on fire. It was tested and proven to be very effective. (In killing Batman, maybe....)

Russia is bigger than Pluto. (Surface area of Pluto: 16.7x10^6 km^2; Surface area of Russia: 17.1x10^6 km^2)

If you melted down the Eiffel Tower, the pool of iron would be less than 3 inches deep (in a square area the same dimensions as the tower base). I can’t imagine that anyone could prove this theory.....

There is more fresh water contained in Loch Ness than in all rivers and lakes in England and Wales combined. (I do believe that it also contains more Loch Ness Monsters than all of the rivers and lakes in England and Wales combined.)

KWIBS wastes an average of 1,100 inches of news copy each year.... Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 7, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

I’m a Facebook user. It began as a way to share photos of my family with family and friends afar.

Almost everyone has Facebook these days and almost everyone has become a "blogger" of sorts, starting discussion groups and forums ranging from politics to religion.

Most posts are just rants. Many of those are just angry, uninformed statements and assumptions about issues that have made people mad.

Most recently a new page was created and I received an invite for it. It is called, "Medicine Lodge Community Issues." Its message states that "This is a neighborly place to share information, discuss local issues, find solutions and build a vibrant community in Medicine Lodge." I promptly joined and read some of the posts by a former resident of Medicine Lodge.

Some of the Medicine Lodge community issues in this post were things like an investigation in Kingman of a homicide, the war on feral swines, an article from the Alva Newsgram on the trash service from 2013, and then the general bashing of local officials.

I made a comment questioning how these were "Medicine Lodge community issues" and also corrected several, so called, "facts" that were posted on this site. I promptly had my posting privileges revoked from the "neighborly place" a couple of weeks ago. That’s sort of ironic that the newspaper publisher in Medicine Lodge is being censored on a "Medicine Lodge Community Issues" Facebook page for bringing correction to statements posted there - a site that is hosted by a nonresident of Medicine Lodge.

I’m not saddened by that. I’ll be ok. In fact, it proves a point about social media. People don’t care about the truth when reporting and there are no "rules" for fairness in cyberspace. The forum only suits the person administering it and if someone’s ideas are not in line, you eliminate those who question your motives.

I pray this isn’t the sad future of journalism.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 31, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

April fools day is tomorrow. It’s one of my favorite days of the year.

Only in Medicine Lodge will someone slip an early April Fools joke in on you like I had done to me last week.

After getting my groceries I walked out to my truck in the rain. I normally lock my vehicle and hit the remote to unlock it. After my horn tooted, I opened the back door. Before I had a chance to set the groceries in the back seat, this person leaps out of my truck and screams "ROAR"!

Obviously it scared the ‘you know what out of me’. When I realized it was our friendly local grocery store manager, I busted up laughing.

After I reminded him I was a recent heart patient, we laughed about the event. I love living in a town where people aren’t afraid to act like this. We all need a little laughter in our lives, even if it comes with a little adrenaline rush!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 17, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

I wanted to thank the Medicine Lodge Tourism Committee for the new entry signs coming in from the North and East of town. These things look awesome!

If you haven’t seen them at night, they are even more impressive. The silhouette of the gyp hills over the bright "Medicine Lodge Est. 1871" really pops.

This group of folks spent a lot of time getting this project done and it’s so cool to finally see this project completed.

Great job Medicine Lodge Tourism!

 

KWIBS - From March 3, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Being a little tight on space last week, I didn’t have room to mention a milestone in a life of someone very near and dear to me. My youngest son, Nicholas, turned 16 on Tuesday, February 25.

17 years ago, his mother and I decided we were done having children, but God had different plans for us. What might have seemed like an "Oops" at the time, turned into one of life's greatest blessings - another son. Nick amazes me every day with his talents, his humor and his faith. I'm proud of him and thank the Lord for that kid - that "Oops". I love you Nick. I hope you had a very special 16th birthday!

Speaking of birthdays, a special lady in my life is celebrating one on March 7th. My Mom! Happy birthday Mom. I love you.

? ? ? ?

and speaking of special....

Last weekend Ronda and I went to Oklahoma City to celebrate the 50th wedding anniversary of two very dear friends of ours. Stan and Becky Tedrow were thrown a surprise anniversary party on February 22nd by their sons Matt and Jim and their families. The Tedrows are well known in Medicine Lodge and had many friends from here attend their special event. We were so glad to have been a part of it! Congratulations Stan and Becky!

? ? ? ?

Monday night the Medicine Lodge Area Chamber of Commerce held their annual meeting and recognition dinner. Kudos to Cindy Brungartd for organizing it better than any one-armed-wallpaper-hanger could! ... two arms for that matter!

Thank you to the business community for attending.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From February 24, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

You’ll have to get your morning sugar fix somewhere else. Tuesday morning, The State of Kansas Department of Revenue civil tax agents shut down Daylight Donuts here in Medicine Lodge and in Pratt for not paying their taxes.

Nixon Em, in my opinion, made some of the best donuts since Frosty himself graced Main Street. I was sad to see the "seized" notice on the window.

Local law enforcement assisted in seizing and securing the assets of the donut shop. The day’s donuts were made and closing it meant, they were also seized. The nice lady behind the counter boxed up the donuts and gave them to the agents. Oh the irony....

? ? ? ?

More signs of the Affordable Health Care Act not working: I got two, (2) identical $35,000 bills from the Kansas Heart Hospital last week processed through the new AHCA software. My wife called to find out what that was about.

We were told "not to worry about it" and "ignore the due date." I will have no problem ignoring the February 25th payment due date! (all pending insurance reimbursement...)

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From February 17, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

If you didn’t know better, you would have thought that Bob Greer and I hated each other. He would always greet me with some insult and I would fling one right back at him. It was just playful banter.

Bob referred to me as one of his only Christian-conservative-gun-toting-Bible-thumping-Republican friends. And of course I would counter that he was my crazy-Liberal/Socialistic-bleeding-heart-Democrat from Protown-friend.

I met Bob, Publisher of The Protection Press when I was just a teenager in early 1986 working as a pressman at the Index. Bob and Dennies Andersen, Publisher of The Western Star in Coldwater, had a Wednesday print schedule. That usually meant a late night for me, because I can’t think of one time they made it to their scheduled print time, on time....

Back then I just thought of him as the crazy publisher from Protection who didn’t shut the bathroom door when he used it.

I thought Bob and Dennies hated each other by the way they acted. They didn’t. It was the same playful banter that I would inherit one day from hanging out with these deadline delinquent clowns.

Bob was just starting his newspaper. He was in a town that already had an established newspaper, but he had a vision of starting something local that held on to traditional values and focused on local people. It would be about 5 years after I met him that I would follow in his footsteps starting The Gyp Hill Premiere. He and Dennies were both mentors to me.

Bob would come to Medicine Lodge once a month on his way through to "check up on his doctor" as he put it.

His tradition was to tell me how much his circulation had grown, that it was more newspapers than households in Protection, that he had run that no good son-of-a-so-and-so out of town and that he was fat and ugly, but he loved what he did.

He always liked to point out to me, "We started the Press without a single subscriber. It now has 700 readers — from a town with just 555 population. And circulation continues to grow. Forgive my bragging: but we must be doing something right!"

I’ve never met anyone quite like Bob and I know I never will.

Last year Bob was honored by Kansas Press Association with the Clyde M. Reed Jr. Master Editor Award. He stopped on his way back from Topeka convinced I had something to do with his award.

He asked me, "You gave me the thousand dollars I was given with this award, didn’t you?"

I had not given him the money, but he was convinced that I had and wouldn’t take me at my word. We argued for what seemed like forever over dinner at the Truck Stop.

I finally said, "Look, if I had an extra $1,000, you’d be the last person I would give it to!"

That ended that argument.

"Do you love what you are doing?" he would always ask.

"I’m one of the lucky ones. I get to do what I love to do and I have a great life and a great family," he would say each time. In fact, it was what he said just over a week ago when he was in my office for our final visit.

Bob did love being a newspaper publisher. He was born for it and he wrote a column each week until he couldn’t anymore. When he was "younger" as he put it, he would pound out his columns on a manual typewriter. As his fingers grew more and more arthritic, he took up pad and pencil and someone had to decipher his chicken scratches, but he kept on. He loved reporting the news, especially sports.

Bob just celebrated his 88th birthday at the end of January. He was growing tired and I could tell from our visits that he was wearing out. He knew it too, but would muster up the strength to tell me a story, usually one I had heard at least a dozen times before. Each time he told it though, it was new to me.

I got him talked into telling me all the stories again on Thursday, January 30th. This time I set up my video camera and caught thirty minutes of the most colorful "Bob" memories one could have. I knew in some small sense that it was probably going to be one of the last times I would hear his stories and I am glad I did it.

On Wednesday last week, Bob’s wife Wilma called me to tell me that Bob had fallen at the manor where he was recovering from a heart cath procedure. Bob was scheduled to go back to Wichita on Thursday for a follow up which surely included more surgery, but that trip was cancelled. Bob never recovered from his fall and never woke up. I got things in order on Thursday and drove over to Coldwater to their hospital to see Bob. I was hoping to tell him to get his old wrinkly butt out of bed and get back to work, but I was telling him good-bye instead, and I knew it.

Bob passed away Saturday morning. He was one of the good ones and as near to me as a grandpa. I was blessed to know him and even though we were so different, we are so much alike.

Upon every visit Bob would go into my bathroom and steal a roll of toilet paper and then walk up front and steal several copies of The Gyp Hill Premiere.

He’d hold up my paper and say, "I wipe with these because they are soft on news. The toilet paper is to blow my nose on on my way to Wichita."

During our last visit, he told me that he didn’t know how much longer he had left. I told him that if he died after Wednesday, but before my paper came out, that I would scoop him to the story of his death. He countered by saying that if I died and he was left, he would line my casket with the Protection Press.

Here I am holding up my end of the promise. Bob’s paper won’t come out until Wednesday with the news of his passing.

Bob left my office that Thursday saying what he always said, "Hey, I love you man - not like the gays love each other. You know what I mean?" I just laughed and told him, "yes, I know what you mean." I loved him too and hugged him. After that he called me some derogatory name and waddle out to his car.

I love you old friend.

KWIBS - From February 10, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Folks, don’t try this at home. It’s been the butt of jokes and movies for decades. Autumn Stivers, daughter of Amanda and Cody Stivers, learned what not to do with her tongue on a metal object when the temperatures are hovering at 6 degrees.

Somehow sticking her tongue on a metal grill sounded like a good idea, but she discovered that she became attached to it. Autumn removed herself from her sticky situation, but left behind part of her tongue... ouch!

 

KWIBS - From February 3, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

My mom knows hows much I love word games and puns. She’s always forwarding email to me. This one really had me chuckling last week and I wanted to share them with you.

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall.. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

I hope these made you smile like they did me!

KWIBS - From January 27, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the MCLXXVII Edition of The Gyp Hill Premiere!

Next weekend is the "Big Game" between The Denver Broncos and Richard Sherman of the Seattle Seahawks. Did you see his post-game interview with Erin Andrews? She looked scared!

"I'm the best cornerback in the game," he screamed during the post-game sideline interview. "When you try me with a sorry receiver like (the 49ers Michael) Crabtree, that's the result you are going to get. Don't you ever talk about me!"

Talk, talk talk talk... that’s all that was done last week about the 25 year old cornerback.

He’s good - no doubt and he’s intelligent, a Stanford graduate who loves to read. He just gives a crappy interview 15 seconds after a game win.

And what a game it will be this weekend. I’m cheering for Peyton Manning and the Broncos. I would cheer for Peyton on any team. Maybe instead of allowing Peyton Manning to freely use "Omaha" over and over in a game, Nebraska should have trademarked the name! What a missed opportunity, but what a great free marketing tool it has been for Omaha. You know, "Wichita" would work too.

As you know, we can’t use the Super "B" word in the paper in any advertisements. That’s a trademark name.

Trademarked and tenaciously defended by the NFL, the phrase "Super Bowl" (oops!it slipped) is available to just a handful of official sponsors that pay significant amounts for the right to include the name in their marketing efforts. The Gyp Hill Premiere isn’t one of them. Everyone else, from national electronics retailers to the corner bar, runs the risk of being threatened with a lawsuit by the league if they use the actual name without permission.

Ok, I’m not officially using it as advertising. I’m just mentioning it. Come on, really? Do you think anyone would read my column and think I needed to use the NFL’s "Big Game" as a promotion?

The NFL has two dozen official marketing partners that pay upward of $100 million annually to be affiliated with the league. Again, The Gyp Hill Premiere isn’t one of them. Sponsors do include PepsiCo Inc., Verizon Communications Inc., Motorola Mobility Inc. and Castrol Ltd., which is the official motor oil of the NFL. Although there is no specific sponsorship of the "Big Game", NFL sponsors have the right to use the game's name and logo in their own marketing efforts.

Good for them! The Super Bowl is viewed by more than 111 million, as opposed to about 1200 subscribers of The Gyp Hill Premiere.

I sort of figured since I am writing about the Super Bowl, I could get away with mentioning its actual name. Heck, who knows? Maybe the NFL will be publishing this newspaper in a few months after a bitter lawsuit over my column.

But before you start photo-copying my column to send to the NFL, note that journalists are free to refer to the Super Bowl in stories, a right that was assured by a 1992 federal appeals court ruling. Have a great week!

GO BRONCOS!!

KWIBS - From January 13, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

On December 26th all of our Christmas decorations came down. Ronda and I are a little bah humbug when it comes to the season. It’s not that we don’t love Christmas, we just don’t love being tied to a holiday that begins right around Halloween and ends with us being broke.

Not that I want to keep dragging Christmas on and on, but I ran across an interesting story this past week about Santa Claus being tracked by NORAD. It’s something we all see on TV Christmas eve and I often wondered what started it all.

Did you know that NORAD annually tracks Santa's progress because a wrong phone number was once published in a newspaper advertisement? I know what you are thinking. A newspaper made a mistake???

Supposedly the tradition of NORAD tracking Santa's journey on radar comes from an accident in 1955, when Sears Roebuck & Co published a "call and talk to Santa" phone number that was one digit off from a number at the Continental Air Defense Command (NORAD's predecessor). Although cute, this story smacks of urban legend to me. Was it really so easy, even in 1955, to accidentally contact a colonel at a sensitive military installation, without having to go through security or any receptionist?

It appears to be true.

Ever since the mid-1950s, generations of children in North America (and, since the advent of the Internet, children from all over the world) have eagerly turned to an annual service provided by the U.S.-Canada North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) to help them track the progress of Santa Claus every Christmas Eve as he departs the North Pole and traverses the globe in his reindeer-driven sleigh, delivering presents to good little boys and girls around the world.

NORAD's engaging well over a thousand people to provide a yearly Santa-tracking program seems to many like a rather whimsical venture for a staid defense-based agency to be engaging in. And, in fact, NORAD didn't set out to be in the business of providing real-time Santa updates every Christmas Eve: that service came about strictly by accident, the result of a wrong number published in a local department store newspaper advertisement.

Back in 1955, NORAD's predecessor, the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) was based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. On Christmas Eve of that year, a Sears department store advertisement placed in a Colorado Springs newspaper featured a picture of Santa urging children to "Call me on my private phone and I will talk to you personally any time day or night." Unfortunately, the phone number included in the ad was printed incorrectly, and children who called that number on Christmas Eve found themselves not on the phone with St. Nick but on a top secret line to one Colonel Harry Shoup, the officer on duty that day at CONAD. Rather than informing his juvenile callers they had reached a wrong number and brusquely instructing them to get off the line, Col. Shoup opted to play along and asked his staff to accommodate inquisitive youngsters by providing them with updates on Santa's Christmas Eve progress.

The story of the accidental origins of NORAD's Santa-tracking program has been told and re-told many times over the decades. Here's how Col. Shoup's daughter related it back in 2009:

One morning that December, U.S. Air Force Col. Harry Shoup, the director of operations at CONAD, the Continental Air Defense Command — NORAD's predecessor — got a phone call at his Colorado Springs, Colo., office. This was no laughing matter. The call had come in on one of the top secret lines inside CONAD that only rang in the case of a crisis.

Grabbing the phone, Shoup must have expected the worst. Instead, a tiny voice asked, "Is this Santa Claus?"

"Dad's pretty annoyed," said Terri Van Keuren, Shoup's daughter, recalling the legend of that day in 1955. "He barks into the phone," demanding to know who's calling.

"The little voice is now crying," Van Keuren continued. "'Is this one of Santa's elves, then?'"

The Santa questions were only beginning. That day, the local newspaper had run a Sears Roebuck ad with a big picture of St. Nick and text that urged, "Hey, Kiddies! Call me direct ... Call me on my private phone and I will talk to you personally any time day or night."

But the phone number in the ad was off by a digit. Instead of connecting with Santa, callers were dialing in on the line that would ring if the Russians were attacking.

Before long, the phone was ringing off the hook, and, softening up, Shoup grabbed a nearby airman and told him to answer the calls and, Van Keuren said, "'just pretend you're Santa.'"

Indeed, rather than having the newspaper pull the Sears ad, Shoup decided to offer the countless kids calling in something useful: information about Santa's progress from the North Pole. To quote the official NORAD Santa site, "a tradition was born."

From that point on, first CONAD and then, in 1958, when NORAD was formed, Shoup's organization offered annual Santa tracking as a service to the global community. A phone number was publicized and anyone was invited to call up, especially on December 24, and find out where Santa was. Manning those phones over the years have been countless numbers of Army, Navy, Air Force and Marine Corps personnel and their families, and for many people, turning to NORAD to find out where Santa is became something to look forward to each year.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 6, 2014 - By Kevin Noland

If God had intended me to roller skate, I would have been born with wheels on my feet.

I never was really very good at skating, although I went skating all the time as a kid (mostly for the chicks). I also tried to look cool with a skateboard a couple of times. When I was a kid, the boards were made of wood with skate wheels bolted on. We usually made our own and we crashed hard.

I remember my mom taking me once and she blew me away with her skating skills. My mom could actually skate backwards. I thought she was some sort of freak of nature, but then I saw everyone was doing it, except me. I only did it by accident a couple of times resulting in horrific falls.

On Saturday, January 11, 2014 my Grandson Kycen is turning 4 and someone put the idea in his head that he wants to have a skating party. I checked, he doesn’t have wheels on his feet either. I plan on being a spectator at this event.

Happy Birthday Kycen!

KWIBS - From December 30, 2013 - By Kevin Noland 

What an incredible year 2013 was! I reflected on this as I wrote my last column of the year. It’s customary for us to do a "Year in Review" during the last week of the year. I don’t do a Christmas letter, but each year I try to put something in the paper about the past year along with the highlights that made the news.

2013 didn’t start off so good for me and my family and it almost ended badly for us, but by the grace of God, I got through it and you’ll have to put up with me another year!

In January, my dad passed away. Ronald D. Noland was 66 years old. He died on my grandson’s birthday on January 11, 2013. It was a sad, but joyous day because my dad had suffered from dementia and his quality of life had really taken a turn for the worse in the past couple of years. I’ll never forget where I was when the Attica Nursing home called me. I was cheering on the Indians at a home basketball game. It was a cold Friday night. I left to meet the ambulance at Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital, but the nursing home misunderstood and sent his body to a Harper County hospital. I laughed and cried all at the same time.

I was fortunate to see him Wednesday of that week. When I was about to leave the nursing home, he called out to me as though he wasn’t ready for me to leave. I helped him up and we walked to his room where he laid down. I said good-bye, kissed him on his head and left.

At his funeral, my son Joey pointed out that his name was printed "Ronald D. Roland" on the program and the poor Priest who did his mass didn’t know any better, so all through his service, his name was wrong. Each time his name was announced, we all started chuckling. I find it ironic that my dad made a living spelling peoples’ names in the paper. Sometimes he got them right and sometimes he got them wrong. He would have thought that was pretty amusing. I miss him every day, but I know he is at peace.

Ronda and I decided we were taking a much needed time off and took a break in March. We have been married for 25 years and took 6 days off. It was the most time off we had ever had. We left home and drove to watch some friends play in a music festival in Austin, TX. Then we drove to Corpus Christi to the beach. Later we drove back up to San Antonio and met up with Ronda’s dad and stepmother who were also celebrating their 25th anniversary. They married one month before we did back in 1988.

On our way home, we stopped and visited my Uncle Gary Noland and his family. We had just seen them in January at my dad’s funeral, but it was great catching up with them. My Cousin Michelle is a trainer of Equestrian horse riding at Confederate Park Farm in Fort Worth. She competes nationally and if not for an injury, was attempting to qualify to compete in the Olympics.

Our friends Dameon and Gabe Aranda’s album "Stop The World" had three songs break the top 30 Alternative Rock charts. We were privileged to see them showcase their music with their record label in Austin back in March and they gave us tickets to Kansas City in May to watch them perform at a festival with more than 55,000 people in attendance. It’s great knowing someone who has worked so hard to be successful in the industry - kind of like another person we know, Martina McBride!

Dameon and Gabe toured with Three Doors Down and Chris Daughtrey and Hinder the first half of 2013. Those brothers came to Kansas a couple of times where I was privileged to run sound for them at a couple of private events. This month, they began recording their third album. We’re real proud of them and excited to hear it.

In July we learned that Allegiance Communications was closing their Medicine Lodge office. We just happened to be their landlord. After more than 20 years at our 110 N. Main location, we moved one building to the south at 108 N. Main.

The task of moving 20 years of accumulation was a trying ordeal. With the help of my boys and Tim Morford, we got it done in three weeks. Six months later, we still have trouble finding the tape gun and a few office supplies, but we are in and mostly organized.

In September, my wife’s Grandmother Mildred Meairs celebrated her 90th birthday and my Granddaughter Baylee turned 1! Taking photos of the generations of girls in my family was a proud moment!

In late September the Peace Treaty Association revived Indian Summer Days. Several community groups got together and put on a really fun weekend and it reminded us that we have a culture to share that is unique and, with some patience, we can grow it into events to be held during the off years of Peace Treaty.

I won’t lie and I’m not playing favorites with my kids, but this fall I became a high school football junkie as I traveled (what seemed like the world) to see the Friday night lights and watch my Son Nicholas and his teammates play. The new coaches - Josh Ybarra, Judd Dohrmann, Shane Hahn and Mike Stull helped our young Indians to have a new attitude and courage to compete in a very tough league. I’m proud of them all!

Just before Thanksgiving, we lost our Aunt Shirley Peachey from the Sawyer area. Aunt Shirley had spent more than 10 years in a nursing home in Cunningham and didn’t know her family anymore. It was sad to let her go, but just like my father, she no longer suffers from her illness. She was once a winner of the Barber County Spelling Bee and was the Barber County Beauty Queen in the 1940s. She was a beautiful and kind spirit - pretty and smart!

Just a week after her death there were 9 obituaries in our newspaper. I could have been #10, but fortunately my condition was caught early and I received the care I needed to make a full recovery. On December 1st, I had some pain in my shoulder that eventually landed me in the Kansas Heart Hospital where I received a lifesaving procedure. I’m fortunate to have had the smarts enough to go to the ER and also had the good fortune of Dr. Meador and his PA Danielle Kelly being there to recognize what was wrong.

So I am almost a month ahead of everyone who will be making a new years’ resolution to eat healthier and exercise. Having this experience happen at the holidays was not how I wanted to end the year, but I am glad to be here.

? ? ? ?

Now each year I try to make my choice of Premiere Person of the year and give a simple explanation why I chose this person.

This year I want to name Cindy Brungardt as my choice.

This year she became the face of the Medicine Lodge Area Chamber of Commerce and opened "My Happy Place" on Main Street.

Cindy loves to be involved in the community and has been a cheerleader for businesses in Medicine Lodge. She’s organized several community events this year and as a chamber member and board member, I can’t think of another person who could have done what she did.

Cindy receives little recognition and compensation for all of her work. I, for one, along with the Chamber of Commerce, want to recognize her and thank her for all of the hard work she does.

Happy New Year!

 

KWIBS - From December 23, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

First, let me set the tone. I’m not banging away on my keyboard at my desk in anger. I’m actually quite calm and maybe even a little sad.

Every year at about the same time of year we all get to hear about "attacks on Christmas" by various news sources.

I used to get all worked up over someone telling me "Happy Holidays." Now I just say "Merry Christmas" and go on my way. It’s their right to believe in what ever they want and celebrate the holiday season any way they want.

But, it’s gotten to the point of ridiculous in some areas of the country. An elementary school in Frisco, Texas is believed to be the first in the state to violate "The Merry Christmas Law" after they banned Christmas trees and the colors red & green from an upcoming "winter" party.

The "Merry Christmas Law", passed nearly unanimously by the Texas legislature this year, allows students and district staff to "offer traditional greetings regarding celebrations, including 'Merry Christmas,' 'Happy Hanukkah' and 'Happy Holidays'." We need laws now to protect colors?

Somehow antireligious/anti-faith groups feel this is a violation of their constitutional rights and are coming up with ways to challenge Christmas celebrations in communities across America.

An atheist billboard in Times Square is telling New Yorkers to take the Christ out of Christmas.

The digital billboard from American Atheists, an atheism-advocacy group, is now running in Times Square asking onlookers "Who needs Christ during Christmas?"

Well, I do for one along with millions of others.

Satanists want to take the war against Christians a step further. The Satanic Temple would like to erect a public monument to Oklahoma’s Capitol Preservation Commission for display upon Oklahoma City’s capitol grounds. Described as an "homage" to Satan, the purpose of the monument is to complement and contrast the Ten Commandments monument that already resides on the North side of the building. The donation offer has been submitted and is currently awaiting the commission’s reply.

More so than these being attacks on Christmas, they are attacks on the Christian faith and it is nothing new. The first attack on Christmas came when Herod the great sought to kill the new born king and sent a hit squad to Bethlehem to murder all boys between the ages of birth and two years old.

The Massacre of the Innocents is the biblical narrative of infanticide by Herod the Great, the Roman appointed King of the Jews. According to the Gospel of Matthew, Herod ordered the execution of all young male children in the "Vicinity of Bethlehem, so as to avoid the loss of his throne to a newborn King of the Jews whose birth had been announced to him by the Magi. In typical Matthean style it is understood as the fulfillment of an Old Testament prophecy: "Then was fulfilled that which was spoken through Jeremiah the prophet, saying, "A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more."

Tell me again that this Herod guy wasn’t a believer of prophecy? Of course, some atheist would probably want to challenge the validity of that account.

Needing some faith simply not to believe, Atheism is a religion all its own and is as old or older than Christianity itself. In 2007, 15 percent of Americans considered themselves "unaffiliated" with any religion, according to a Pew Research Center survey. By 2013 , that number had jumped to 20 percent.

That figure includes more than 13 million self-described atheists and agnostics and almost 33 million people who say they have no particular religious affiliation, according to the study.

Maybe we should give these people their monument? Whatever we do, I don’t want to hate them for believing differently than I do.

When it comes to hating religion or religious characters, the focus seems to always be on Christianity.

Author Josh McDowell once wrote, "Why don't the names of Buddha, Mohammed, Confucius offend people? The reason is that these others didn't claim to be God, but Jesus did."

I want to be able to celebrate Christmas without being ragged on by atheists, agnostics or Satanists. I’m not asking them to put up a Christmas tree or go to church on Christmas eve. I’m not asking them to put up a manger scene in their front yard. Just respect me if I do. I just feel like maybe there is an extreme intolerance by nonbelievers towards any expression of Christian faith.

Look, I realize the actual birthdate of Jesus might be in question, but not the meaning of what we celebrate. I don’t know about you, but I am celebrating the birth of Jesus this holiday season. I won’t be offended if you just merely want to observe a day of thankfulness and gift-giving. Please don’t tread on my faith though. I am sorry if it offends you. I’m not ashamed of that.

And I wish you a Merry Christmas!

 

KWIBS - From December 16, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Each year I try to include a reminder about the Bill of Rights Day. This year, Executive Director for Kansas Press Association Doug Anstaette submitted a column that I wanted to pass along to my readers.

There’s a commercial right now that shows a huge cloud of dust and says, "We’re willing to bet no kid ever grew up with a poster of a Passat on his bedroom wall." It’s an advertisement for a Dodge Charger, a muscle car.

Likewise, few of us grew up with a poster of Virginian George Mason gracing our wall, either.

For sure, Mason was no Miley Cyrus, Mick Jagger, Madonna, Prince, John Lennon or Elvis Presley, some of the top celebrities of the past 50 years.

But what he did for his fellow Americans more than two centuries ago blows away what any "Hollywood idol" has ever accomplished.

Do you like to speak out about your government?

Do you appreciate a free press that can ferret out fraud, abuse, malfeasance and corruption?

Do you freely exercise your right to worship God, or not to worship at all?

Do you relish the fact that you cannot be jailed without cause, that cruel and unusual punishment is banned and that unreasonable searches and seizures are condemned?

Are you happy that your right to bear arms protects you and your neighbors from criminal elements and from a tyrannical government?

If so, then you owe a debt of gratitude to George Mason. For it was this stubborn defender of the individual rights of his fellow citizens who almost singlehandedly guaranteed that our newly minted but flawed Constitution would be amended to include a list of those rights.

We call those first 10 amendments the Bill of Rights, and that is just what they are. These statements indicate our government must be subordinate to our individual rights to freedom, liberty and justice.

Dec. 15 is the 222th anniversary of the day the Bill of Rights was ratified.

Mason never liked politics, but after penning the Virginia Declaration of Rights that was adopted along with the Virginia Constitution, he participated in the Constitutional Convention. Disgusted, however, he refused to sign the new national constitution because it lacked a specific listing of individual freedoms. He went home from the convention disillusioned and as an outspoken opponent of ratification.

Fortunately for us, his stubbornness paid off. Within two years, the Bill of Rights was adopted and we continue today to enjoy the individual freedoms spelled out for every citizen in those first 10 amendments to the Constitution.

Today, we might wonder about the state of our rights. With the revelations about spying by the National Security Agency, drones taking pictures of our every move and little of our private lives seemingly "private" any more, we may wonder if the Bill of Rights really matters today.

It most certainly does. For it is the Bill of Rights that allows us to call into question every move our government makes. It allows us to stand on the street corner or march on Topeka or Washington demanding more accountability from government. It allows us to say "enough is enough" when our rights are in jeopardy.

When government goes too far, we can petition for a "redress of grievances," something few nations across the world allow.

Rest assured, George Mason’s stubborn determination helped guarantee those rights to every American, then and today.

No, his poster isn’t on our walls and likely never will be, but every time we exercise our individual rights, we create of "living poster" of George Mason.

KWIBS - From December 9, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Well, I finally got the tour of the new ER and Hospital wing Sunday evening, December 1st. It wasn’t exactly how I wanted to see it, but I must say it is impressive!

In 2005 I had some artery blockage that required a heart cath and stents. Almost 8 years later, a clot formed in that same artery and Dr. Meador and his staff got me treated and sent me in for some surgery in the wee hours of Monday morning at the Kansas Heart Hospital.

It’s Wednesday as I write this from my desk, in my office. I’m glad to be here. I know, I need to rest, but the newspaper never stops. As soon as I finish this column, I will go home and rest. I’ll be resting for a couple of weeks, but plan to make a miraculous recovery and be as annoying and obnoxious as before. I do apologize for missing a few basketball games this week and the scrimmage.

I’m so thankful that our community has such a great Doctor, and long time friend, who convinced me to come in and get checked out. Pete Meador only gets recognition in the paper for a once in a lifetime hole in one and for saving my life a couple of times. He deserves better. :)

His PAC, nursing staff and ambulance crew at MLMH are exceptional, professional and kind when treating a patient. That’s hard to do when the patient is me.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From December 2, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

As many of you, me included, begin our holiday shopping, take note of this interesting story. I read this week written by Will Lerner of "Odd News".

Back in 2008, a lady named Jen Palmer left a negative review of KlearGear.com on the website RipoffReport.com when she never received an order she had placed. Now, almost five years later, she’s still being asked to pay a fine by KlearGear.com for a whopping $3,500. Why? Let’s start at the beginning.

As KUTV 2 News reports , Jen claims that in 2008, after she had ordered a "number of trinkets," from KlearGear she waited 30 days but never got the ordered items and PayPal canceled the payment. After attempts to speak with someone at the company failed, she took to RipoffReport.com, complaining "there is absolutely no way to get in touch with a physical human being," and that they have "horrible customer service practices."

Cut to 2010. KlearGear emailed, maintaining Jen violated a non-disparagement clause hidden within the terms of sale:

"In an effort to ensure fair and honest public feedback, and to prevent the publishing of libelous content in any form, your acceptance of this sales contract prohibits you from taking any action that negatively impacts kleargear.com, its reputation, products, services, management or employees."

They said that Jen had 72 hours to remove the post, or face a $3,500 fine. And if they didn’t get their money, they would report them to a credit bureau, which in turn would damage their credit rating.

Nervous over the fine, Jen tried to comply. She went to RipoffReport.com and asked them to remove the post. In a sad bit of poetic irony, they told her that they wouldn’t do it without receiving $2,000 themselves. It was then that the Palmers decided to fight the $3,500 fine with the credit bureaus. However, KlearGear.com insists it’s valid and so now the Palmers are being denied loans for a new car and house repairs. Jen is furious, telling KUTV, "This is fraud. They’re blackmailing us for telling the truth." Now in 2013, she’s reaching out to the media for help.

KUTV’s investigative segment, Get Gephardt, found that Jen isn’t the only person who has had problems with KlearGear.com and found other people have posted bad reviews on Ripoff Report and other similar websites. They spoke with attorney Jeff Hunt, an expert on First Amendment matters. He seemed surprised by this, telling them:

"I think this is outrageous that a company like this would force a consumer to relinquish their first amendment rights to speak about their product as a condition of sale. I've never seen anything like it…I have a serious question about whether a court would enforce that kind of covenant because it's massively over broad and against public policy."

Get Gephardt tried calling KlearGear.com, but like Jen, wasn’t able to speak with someone on the phone. Through email, an unidentified employee wrote them saying it wasn’t blackmail, but rather, "a diligent effort to help them avoid [the fine]." Ok.

Jen and her husband say that can’t afford an attorney, but are still fighting the black spot on their credit report. In the meantime, they’re warning others about KlearGear’s sneaky terms of sale.

 

KWIBS - From November 25, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Here we are. Another holiday season is upon us. Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate with family and count your blessings.

I’ve really enjoyed the Facebook posts on what people are thankful for. I'm not disciplined enough to write one per day like many of you, but thought a lot about it.

I’m thankful for where I live. I’m thankful for Medicine Lodge.

This morning I woke up in a warm home that I own, in a country where I'm free and considered wealthier than 95% more of my fellow earthly inhabitants. I'm thankful that when I get up, there's coffee waiting for me, clean towels, clean clothes and a clean house. Then I think about being so thankful that my wife and I and our three children are relatively healthy and mentally well and safe in our day to day lives. They go to work and schools where we have instructors and teachers, coaches and administration who share my values and care about their well being.

I am thankful that I'm even blessed with grandchildren, one who also attends schools near where I live and work. I’m so thankful for the joy they bring me and Ronda. I'm thankful I still have one parent who still lives near me and works with us, a father in law and mother in law who are making plans to be closer to us, a grandmother who is 90 years old and still living at home.

I’m thankful for my dog, Hyde! Even when I have a busy period when I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him, when I do, he’s always happy to see me and gives me unconditional love.

Although I waste a lot of my time on it, I’m thankful for the Internet and technology. Things I am able to do today with the newspaper weren’t possible when we started more than 20 years ago. It has helped not just with business, but personal too. I get to keep in touch with friends and loved ones who live far away. I can see them, almost face to face, and talk with them and watch their families grow.

I'm thankful that those who work for us are here to help our businesses succeed and we hope they know that we appreciate their hard work.

I'm reminded everyday how thankful we are to have plenty of food and good water and services in our community. I am thankful for protection and service from local law enforcement, EMTs and fire departments and their volunteers. I am thankful for the doctors and nurses at MLMH who treat us and help when we are sick. I'm thankful that many groups in town are bent in seeing people blessed by their selfless acts of volunteering and giving spirits.

Finally, I am thankful for those whom I love and call my friends and family and pray for other relationships to grow and heal.

I think the thing I'm most thankful for is the sacrifice that Jesus willingly made for me. I thank Him for taking my sins and forgiving them and the many more I will commit and not hold them accountable to me through His grace and mercy.

During the past few weeks, our local ministerial alliance held community Thanksgiving lunches. Each of the pastors echoed my very sentiments. I’m thankful that we got together as a community and had those lunches. I hope they will continue. I posted this on Facebook a few weeks ago, so I was thrilled when Rodney Worsham, Pastor at First Assembly, gave his sermon on the same thing on Tuesday at the last luncheon.

My hope is that you are thankful for many of the same things. At the very least, I'm thankful that you could read this!

Happy Thanksgiving!

KWIBS - From November 18, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

I got this story from Michael Blankenship this week. It’s a great illustration of what runaway government looks like. I hope you enjoy it.

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of the desert. Congress said "someone may steal from it in the night," so they created a night watchman position, at the GS-4 position and hired a person.

Then Congress said, "how does the person do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two (2) people, one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do the time studies, GS-11. Then Congress said "how will we know the person is doing the tasks correctly?"

So Congress created a Quality Assurance Position and hired two (2) people, one GS-9 position to do the studies and one GS-11 position to write the report. Then Congress asked, "How are these people going to get paid?" So, they created the following positions, one time and attendance person (GS-9), and a payroll officer (GS-11), and hired two people.

Then Congress asked, "Who will be accountable for all these people?" So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Administrative Officer (GS-13), an Assistant Administrative Officer (GS-12) and a Legal Secretary (GS-09).

Then Congress said, "Who is in charge of this operation?" So they hired a manager (GS-14). Then Congress audited the position and discovered they were $93,000 over budget. So, they laid off the night watchman.

Remember this quote by Thomas Jefferson: "When the representative body have lost the confidence of their constituents, when they have notoriously made sale of their most valuable rights, when they have assumed to themselves powers which the people never put into their hands, then indeed their continuing in office becomes dangerous to the state, and calls for an exercise of the power of dissolution."

KWIBS - From November 4, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

I remember well when the tall, thin gentlemen came in to my office in October of 1992 and introduced himself as the new owner of Hibbards.

We had only been in business ourselves for a few short months before one of the oldest existing businesses on Main Street changed hands. Hibbards was an anchor on Main Street owned by Dub Rickard.

John Hagood extended his hand in friendship that day. Now some 20 plus years later, he turns the reins over to Lance and Sloane Freeman, who officially took over the business on Friday. Lance wasted no time in extending his hand last week.

I want to personally thank John and Barbara for all of their service to the community and to their customers for all of these years. They have been kind and compassionate and will be missed. John will still be a familiar face behind the counter. Barb says she’s retiring.

Lance and Sloane are eager to become a part of the community. I wish them all the best of success in their new adventure.

? ? ? ?

If I were to write a long embarrassing story about my wife for her birthday, I would be welcoming harm to my physical being.

So, I’ll write a short one.

Twenty years ago we were celebrating her birthday and she proudly proclaimed, "I’m a half of a century old!"

Well, she wasn’t and since you all are probably better at math than she "was", you can figure out how old she is now!

My beautiful bride of 25 years celebrated her birthday over the weekend. I love you babe. You’re almost a half a century old!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 28, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Joey was just 4 years old when he learned to ride a bicycle. We lived out in the country, so me teaching one of the kids to ride a bike was me pushing them down a slight incline in a field somewhere on the ranch. Once we got steering down, we worked on peddling.

I was coming home from Haviland one evening and saw a for sale sign on a little motorcycle near Greensburg and pulled in.

The guy wanted $600 for it and I knew that Joey would just love it. Without the consent of my wife or the use of my brain, I bought that motorcycle, put it in the back of my truck and took it home. Besides, his older sister, Breeann, had her own motorcycle. She was 7. I thought it was a good idea. They would have a great time together.

Joey and Breeann met me in the driveway, so did their mother. She didn’t look nearly as excited as me and the kids. I told Joey to go inside and get his leather jacket and gloves. He already had a helmet on when I got there. He’d been riding his bicycle - safety first..... Did I mention that he had just learned to ride a bicycle two weeks prior to me purchasing this motorcycle? Oh, well he did, sort of.

Joey came out of the house dressed like a member of Hell’s Angels, only shorter and cuter.

I put some gas in the motorcycle and fired it up. His sister was already out on her motorcycle driving it around in a counter clockwise circle in our backyard, which was just a mowed field with a slight incline. It’s the same place Joey learned to ride his bicycle. Did I mention that was two weeks before this event?

So we did the quick tutorial on the motorcycle. Gas (makes it go) - check; brakes (makes it stop) - check; kill switch (also will eventually make it stop) - check. That should have been easy enough for a 4 year old, I thought.

He had the biggest smile on his face when I set him on that bike. My intentions were to slowly drive down the yard and have him follow his sister around a couple of times. I would be right beside him, I assured his mother.

But something went horribly wrong.

The smile on his face, and mine, turned to contorted fear as Joey ignored the break-in instructions, giving the throttle a wide open twist. With that, the front tire left the ground and he was off and running with me about 20 feet behind him yelling, "Brakes! Kill switch! Let off the gas!" and finally "Jump!", to which he ignored all.

Joey was full tilt and heading for a 4 wire barbed wire fence in front of him and to his right, and a 2 railed 2" x 6" wood fence to his left. He stayed on course and went straight for the barbed wire and I was praying that all of his leather, helmet and luck would keeping him from ripping to shreds.

At the very last possible minute, in a move that Evel Knievel would have been proud of, Joey took a hard left and missed the barb wired fence. Now he was traveling faster than humanly possible to chase after on foot, all the while I am screaming for him to JUMP! He headed straight for the wood railed fence.

Joey hit that fence going about 25 mph and broke both boards with the front of the motorcycle and his helmet. He’d managed to end up with the motorcycle on top of him, still spinning at full throttle. I finally caught up to him with his mother closely on my heels. I pulled off the bike and hit the kill switch.

Joey didn’t have a scratch on him. He was scared and crying, but nothing was broken, except for the $600 motorcycle I just bought him that afternoon. The fiberglass fender was in 10,000 pieces on the ground and the front tire was bent clear into the frame and engine.

We both got lucky that day. The closest anyone got to actually being injured was me by the hands of his mother.

The motorcycle sat in the garage for a few more years after that. One day, I got out a chain and pulled the forks out of the frame and fired it up. Joey was big enough to ride it now with some respect.

He rode the heck out of the little motorcycle that day with a lot of confidence for someone who had wrecked it pretty badly only a few years before.

My dad and I were out building a fence while Joey was riding up and down a hill near us. Dad and I stopped to marvel at him doing little jumps and racing down the hill. That’s when it happened. The front tire caught just the right amount of dirt and it sent Joey up and over the handlebars. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. His mother would never forgive me this time. Somehow, with great skill, or dumb luck, he cleared the handlebars and got his feet under him and ran down the hill until he regained control of his momentum. Again, not a scratch on him. His motorcycle tumbled beside him and ended up in a pile at the bottom of the hill.

I remember my dad bursting out into laughter. He was a former MX racer in his younger years. I was a pretty good rider in my day as well, but any spill either of us had ever taken couldn’t hold a candle to Joey’s ability to avoid injury.

To this day I don’t know whether I am in the running for world’s best father or world’s worst father.

I might get my answer after this column.

Joey survived several more accidents over his teen years like a bad kneeboard experience that left him with a dislocated shoulder. He also ran his car off the road one night on a dirt road, but he wasn’t hurt and the truck really wasn’t either. The worst injury he probably took was just last year when he went to get his college vaccinations. He didn’t do so well with the needles. He passed out after getting the shot and fell down on the sidewalk outside the health department.

Today, Joey turns 21 years old. He almost didn’t make it to 21 because of his dad’s poor judgment and a few of his own bad decisions. I’d like to think he’s a more cautious and reserved person today because of these near death experiences. Joey, I love you and I hope you have a great and safe 21st birthday.

Happy birthday Joey Knievel.

 

KWIBS - From October 21, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

K. Noland Photo

Chiefs X-Factor visits fans

Sheriff Justin Rugg introduced X-Factor Kansas City Chief’s Fan Ty Rowton to people in North and South Barber on Tuesday, October 15th. Rowton fired up the fans in Kansas City last week when the stadium broke the Guinness Book of World Records for the loudest stadium, hitting 137.5 decibels. Pictured with Sheriff Rugg and Rowton is Mike Roe, local businessman, who was at Kansas City for the record breaking event. Sheriff Rugg has become an avid fan of the Chiefs after the poor performance of the Minnesota Vikings and their 1-4 record.

 

KWIBS - From October 7, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

What a fantastic weekend we had September 27-29. If you didn’t attend Indian Summer Days, you really missed out.

This collaborative effort was made possible by many groups and orgainizations coming together and it was a HUGE success. I hope this was the first of many celebrations we can do as a community.

I want to name everyone who did something, but I am afraid I would miss someone. All of you were important to the success of Indian Summer Days whether you were in charge of one of the events or a participant. Thank you to The City of Medicine Lodge Tourism Committee for their funding,

The town had something going on almost every minute of the day. I liked that. I also liked taking photos and videos of people having a good time. I got hundreds of those and you can see them by liking our page on Facebook.

? ? ? ?

That’s kind of a nice segway to my next topic. October 6-12 is National Newspaper Week. It is my pleasure, dream job, to bring you the news each week.

The following editorial is by Caroline H. Little

Newspapers are still the

cornerstone of democracy

We’ve been calling it the end of an era for a long time now.

It’s supposed to be the end of newspapers, according to naysayers who have been predicting their ultimate demise for years. But the facts prove the newspaper industry is growing and transforming rather than dying. Of course, there are always bumps in the road to innovation, but as it turns out, we’re actually in the midst of a promising and exciting time.

Top businessmen and investors such as Warren Buffet, John Henry and Jeff Bezos are demonstrating that newspapers are still lucrative investments. And despite gloomy predictions, our circulation revenue is actually rising.

We’re experimenting and transforming to match the pace of our innovative and digitally-driven world. Digital and bundled subscriptions accounted for a five percent uptick in circulation revenue in 2012 – the first national rise in circulation revenue since 2003.

Newspaper content is now ubiquitous, available and accessed on every platform and device. Recent Scarborough research also shows that across all print, digital and mobile platforms, a full 70 percent of U.S. adults read newspaper content each week. That’s more than 164 million adults – 144 million of whom, still pick up the print copy.

And despite the common perception that the younger, digitally-native generation has abandoned newspapers, this study shows quite the opposite. Some 57 percent of young adults, ranging in age from 18 to 34, read newspaper content in a given week. This is a strong indication that the industry is still a relevant and vital source of information, even to Millennials, who coincidentally also contribute heavily to the growth of mobile readership, which jumped 58 percent over the last year.

The reason for this is simple. With the deluge of information available on the Internet, people of all ages rely heavily on sources they trust to provide accurate content and quickly sift fact from fiction.

Newspapers consistently and reliably provide the most up-to-date, accurate and important news. And our audiences recognize this, rating newspapers as the most trusted of all media forms in a recent Nielsen study. While 56 percent say they trust newspapers, 52 percent trust local television and only 37 percent trust social media.

Today’s technology has only proven how valuable this content is by providing a platform to widen the audience for each story, which can now be taken and repeated, shared, tweeted, condensed and emailed countless times a day.

Newspapers have always been the cornerstone of our society, and that did not change with the digital revolution. Ever since the Philadelphia Evening Post first published the Declaration of Independence, our newspapers have continued to unite us as communities and as a nation. News media connects us through stories, keeping us informed on school board decisions, local heroes, national budgets and international conflict.

The public’s right to know is essential to preserving our unique American democracy, and newspapers serve the vital role of independent watchdogs – keeping governments, businesses and other institutions in check. Without a free press that can protect its sources, American democracy will suffer.

The newspaper industry will continue to innovate and transform with the times, just like any other industry. But one thing will never change: Our historic promise to connect, inform, investigate and foster an educated society.

 

KWIBS - From September 23, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

It’s finally here - the weekend we’ve been writing about for the past few months. Indian Summer Days officially kicks off on Friday night with a free bean feed at the Stockade Museum, sponsored by Rick Swayden, with music to follow.

I’ve always wanted to write that line: bean feed, with music to follow.... sponsored by my friend Rick Swayden!

? ? ? ?

Seriously, this is going to be a fun time. Several organizations have come together to bring you an event packed weekend. Some of the highlights include the Kansas Championship Ranch Rodeo, now in its 25th year.!!! The Rodeo will feature RW Hampton before the show. Don’t miss that! Also, for the first time in over a decade, an authentic Native American PowWow will be held in the city park that is free to the public! There will be fun things going on down town all day Saturday that are FREE for the family!!! Over 225 people registered for the all-school reunion, so even if you didn’t register, you should see many familiar faces back in town. My hopes are that you will all gather downtown on Main Street at the end of the day for "Lucky People". A personal friend of mine is in the band and these guys are GREAT musicians. You won’t be disappointed! The PowWow continues on Sunday with vendors in the park. I’ve met those in charge of the event and I am excited to see some dancing!

The Peace Treaty Association, Octoberfest Committee, Kansas Championship Ranch Rodeo, MLHS All-School Reunion Committee, The Medicine Lodge Area Chamber of Commerce, Friends of the Feather and The City of Medicine Lodge Tourism Committee welcome you and your friends and family to our town! If it’s the first time or the 100th time you’ve been here, we hope you find our community to be a fun place to visit!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 16, 2013 - By Kevin Noland


Happy Birthday
Baylee!! She turns 1 on  Tuesday, Sept. 17!

KWIBS - From September 9, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Joe Biden said about President Obama signing his health care bill into law, "This is a big f_ing deal."

That was tacky and unbecoming of a public official. Most would agree that event has spun off chaos nation-wide.

I can hardly compare that to the event that occurred last Monday night. First, I would never compare our city’s government to our nation’s government; secondly, our council and mayor would never act like that or say those things, even when many in the community have jeered them publicly over the past year for making the "tough decisions."

"This was monumental," said Mayor Robert Stutler after the city signed the USDA water loan that will help Medicine Lodge to be a vibrant growing community for decades to come.

I’ve read many stories, past and present, about our city’s struggle to grow and most of them have been because of its limited infrastructure - mainly water. This is a hurdle we are about to overcome and with the help of so many professional people, I hope years in the future to read about how this one act changed our city for the good and brought about prosperity for our little community.

It’s a big deal....

KWIBS - From September 2, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I will sometimes take mini-weekend getaways.

Only one time in the history of our marriage and business have we taken 6 straight days off of work, so most of our trips have to be3-4 days in order to meet the deadline requirements of a newspaper. Many of my other newspaper friends experience this same sort of "ball and chain" effect.

The weekend before last we took a quick trip out to Colorado Springs. I did this trip reluctantly and had a sling of excuses of why I didn’t want to go including: money, the kids’ schedules, timing, weather, stars not lining up perfectly, but in the end, we went.

It was our first trip together to Colorado. We had both been there before as kids, but that was nearly 28 years ago.

Going west on I-70 does not build excitement while traveling. If not for my oldest son being enrolled at Fort Hays, we may have turned around and gone home. 2 1/2 hours in to this trip was all I needed to remind me that western Kansas has less than interesting scenery. In fact. I napped from Hays to the Colorado line, only getting out of the truck once for a double shot expresso at Starbucks in Colby - even that didn’t help.

Crossing in to Colorado, my expectations were high. Since I was 15 the last time I went, my mind had created an image of Colorado where I would be at death-defying altitudes once we crossed the border. I was wrong. It was just more Kansas dragged into Colorado... It was another couple of hours before we could faintly make out a mountain range, but it was worth it. Here’s my (apologetically unfunny) travel guide for the Springs area. We had a few things on our agenda that were "must do".

7 Falls: I counted them. They were all there. Ronda was cold, but the falls were pretty cool at night. I obviously wanted to spit over the side like every other man who ever visited 7 falls. I was also just like every other man who ever visited 7 falls who’s wife said, "NO".

Manitou Springs: Or "Metermaidville". This touristy little place is cool, but be prepared to pay to park EVERYWHERE! if you like art or paintings with pictures of Native Americans, this is the place to go.

Pike’s Peak Cog ride: We pulled in and a nice young man met us at the gate. "Where’s parking," I asked?

He said, "Right over there," pointing to a spot. We took the spot and walked back to the entrance.

"Are you here to ride the cog," he asked? We both answered with a "yes" and he smiled and said, "The last one for today left 20 minutes ago!" Thanks punk....

Cave of the Winds: Here’s a neat place for claustrophobic people like me to go. Be prepared to hear the line, "We take your picture at the beginning so that we can compare it to when we leave to make sure everyone comes out." Oh, and by the way, if you want a copy, it’s $10 extra.

Our tour guide claimed that a couple of kids found it in the late 1800s and crawled inside. They heard a strange noise and then their candles blew out. They ran back to town and told everyone, but no one believed them. I didn’t believe them either because there was absolutely no wind in there. I came to find out that in later years, the park sealed up the top of the caves that made the "wind" noise to keep out bears and other critters. I was ok with not having any wind.

We bought the package that included the chair zip line ride down the side of the mountain. That was really cool and you could ride as many times as you wanted or your heart could take. For me that was one time. We also could do the "Wind Walker Challenge Course" included in our ticket price.

After we came out alive from the caves with our picture... we went to this scary looking obstacle course with a 600 foot drop into Williams Canyon. I stood at the entrance for 10 minutes asking questions about the harnesses and wanting to know how scary it was. The girl encouraged me to try it and said it would, "build character". After a few more minutes of nudging, I said I would do it and she said, "Sorry, it closed 5 minutes ago. Didn’t the ticket people tell you?" Thanks punk....

Now for the things that didn’t cost anything and were punk-free!

Garden of the Gods: The area was first called Red Rock Corral. Then, in August 1859, two surveyors who helped to set up Colorado City explored the site. One of the surveyors, M. S. Beach, suggested that it would be a "capital place for a beer garden." His companion, the young Rufus Cable, awestruck by the impressive rock formations, exclaimed, "Beer Garden! Why it is a fit place for the gods to assemble. We will call it the Garden of the Gods."

In 1879, Charles Elliott Perkins purchased 480 acres of land that included a portion of the present Garden of the Gods. Upon Perkin’s death, his family gave the land to the City of Colorado Springs in 1909, with the provision that it would be a free public park. This is free and the most spectacular thing I have ever seen. If you go, make sure to take advantage of the bathroom near the parking lot because once you leave that area, there isn’t another one, or at least a "legal" one on the trail. I didn’t take this advice and a few spots along the way, I tried to sneak off the path or climb a cliff to find a flower to water. I would have gotten away with it, but there was someone with a camera everywhere.

The Broadmoor Hotel: You can feel like a rich person and walk around this awesome hotel for free if you park 10 miles away or you can tip the valet guy $5 and he’ll bring you back your truck when you ask. Either way, you still feel like a rich person. The view was beautiful and you got a towel and some hand lotion from a guy who hangs out in the men’s room in the lobby bathroom.

The odd thing I found about this place was that everyone staying there must have brought their pet along. They had actual employees of the hotel whose job it was to walk guest’s pets. Rates start at $320 per night for the cheap rooms.....

New Life Church: This was just a cool experience. If you are into Jesus, rocking praise music and a good message, check this place out. The people were super friendly and first time guests receive a free gift bag. It’s also the only church I’ve ever been to that you can eat lunch at the cafe or buy expresso at their coffee shop.

Leroy and Kathy Weber’s house: I can’t promise that you’ll get the treatment we got, but here’s a nice couple who just moved from the Medicine Lodge area to be closer to their children. Their condo overlooks Garden of the Gods and Pike’s Peak and these two folks are the kindest and most gracious of people you could ever know. Thank you guys for your hospitality.

Monday, we clicked our heals together, I put a book in front of me and in a few short hours we stopped for gas at Colby. Opening the doors, the wind nearly knocked me down and I thought, ahhhhhhh Kansas....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 19, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t care if your child is 4 years old or 21 years old, it’s just as hard when you have to send them to school.

We got a double dose of sorts this past week. On Thursday we sent Joey back to Fort Hays State University and on Thursday of this week, we’ll be sending our grandson Kycen to his first day of preschool at MLGS.

My little MLGS Indian and my FHSU Tiger!

KWIBS - From August 12, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I have been AFS host parents twice over the years. Once we hosted "Frank" from China and then two years ago we hosted "Elli" from Austria.

They become your children while they’re here and then they go home, but sometimes they come back! Elizabeth Unger has spent the past three of weeks with us and we took her to the airport on Friday for her flight home.

If you’ve every considered AFS or wanted to learn more about it, I would encourage you to look into it. AFS Heartland still needs to place 7 students. There are 6 boys and 1 girl that are still waiting for a host family. It is a great experience for your family. There have been several exchange students over the years that call Medicine Lodge their second home. We love our kids all over the world!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 5, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

We made the move last week to 108 N. Main, just one building south of where we were.

For the past 21 years we had been at 110 N. Main. When our renter left next door, we decided it was time to make the move to the bigger offices.

Right now our offices are a little unorganized, but we have phones and computers and we managed to put out a newspaper this week. Just don’t ask me where anything is because I haven’t found it yet! Things are so unorganized, it took me nearly 10 minutes to find an envelope to mail a letter on Thursday. Thanks to Tim Morford, Elli Unger, Devin Schaffer, Nick and Joey Noland and the staff here for all of the help moving!

? ? ? ?

It’s a sad day when I have to report the death of a colleague.

When I was 13 years old, my dad let me run the big old Goss Community 2 unit web press we had at The Barber County Index. I used to stand on milk crates to be able to reach the roller levers. The first newspaper I ever printed was The Kingman Journal (now called the Kingman Leader-Courier). Bob was a funny little man. He didn’t come to Medicine Lodge much, but when he did, he and my dad would either polish off a bottle of scotch in the office or on the golf course. When I turned 14, I had the pleasure of not only getting to print the Kingman paper in the summers, but also drive it over to Bob every Monday and Thursday.

Bob passed away last Monday. It had been years since I had seen him, but I have fond memories of him.

Robert L. "Bob" McQuin, 88, died July 22, 2013 at Harry Hynes Hospice, Wichita.

He was born Aug. 13, 1924, at Chanute, Kansas the son of Charles Newton and Nellie Wheeler McQuin. A longtime Kingman resident, he was the former owner, editor and publisher of the Kingman Leader-Courier.

He was a member of Christ Church Episcopal and Lions Club, both of Kingman; the Kansas Press Association; and was a Red Cross Blood donor.

On Aug. 3, 1947, he married Beverly "Bev" Harnden at Medicine Lodge, Kansas; she died July 7, 2011. Survivors include sons Randall McQuin and partner Robert Motes; Judge Robert Scott McQuin and wife Lorene; daughter Connie Schoenhofer and husband Art; five grandchildren; and six great-grandchildren. He was also preceded in death by brothers Charles, Jr., and Richard.

Funeral services were held Thursday, at Livingston Funeral Home, Kingman. Graveside services were 2:00 p.m., Thursday at the Highland Cemetery, Medicine Lodge, Kansas.

Memorials may be made with Harry Hynes Hospice, Christ Church Episcopal and Wheatlands Healthcare Center, all in care of the funeral home:

Livingston Funeral Home

1830 N Main

Kingman, Kansas 67068

Phone: 620-532-3322

-30-

KWIBS - From July 22, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Some of the rumors you might be hearing about us are true, some are probably not.

It is true that after 21 years of The Gyp Hill Premiere at 110 N. Main, we will be closing the doors. However, we will be opening at our new location next door at 108 N. Main!

One of the rumors that is not true is that I kicked out Allegiance.

Allegiance notified us two weeks ago that they would be closing their local offices in Medicine Lodge. They had closed offices in several other towns and we took this as no surprise. We own that building and rent the one we’re in.

That’s a long, strange story, but it goes something like this: In 1991 we started the newspaper in George and Janet Palmer’s Flower Shop on Washington Street. We quickly outgrew that office and wanted to be a part of Main Street. Ann and Myrlen Bell and Frosty Sill had purchased the building at 110 N. Main, the old Brook’s and Spencer’s north half.

In the late 1990s, we had the opportunity to buy into the property at 108 N. Main. We leased that building to Multimedia Cablevision, who sold to Cox Communication, who sold to Allegiance Communications. Our lease ran for nearly 14 years. There was no reason to move from our location and I never wanted us to be the reason for an empty building on Main Street.

So, when we got our notice, I called Ann Bell to tell her that we would be leaving. It’s one of the hardest phone calls I’ve ever had to make. Usually, poor Ann gets a call from me because the air conditioner wouldn’t come on, the toilet is plugged or some other "pain in the rear" phone call from me, but this was a call I never wanted to make.

Ann has been a Godsend to us. I made her a promise that I would work hard to find her a renter for 110 N. Main, not because Ann needs the money or anything, but because Ann cares about Main Street like I do. She doesn’t want to see an empty building.

Within 12 hours of our call, someone noticed that Allegiance had closed and asked me about renting the building. Unfortunately, I had to decline because we were moving in, but I did show her around our current building and I’m happy to say that they’ve made arrangements to open a new business when we get all moved out!

So the work began last week. We anticipate that it will take at least a month to clear out the 21 years worth of accumulation at 110 N. Main and the 14 years at 108 N. Main. I want to thank Tim Morford, Joey Noland and Nick Noland for working so hard for us on this BIG project!

We’ll keep you posted on our progress.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 15, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

It’s hot outside and if you are like me, you like to be near or in the water when the sun is shining and the temps are rising.

When I read the following information, I instantly decided my column would be a public service announcement this year. Ronda and I are very aware of the dangers that exist with our responsibilities at Lake Arrowhead and we have been fortunate to only know of one drowning incident in the 50 some years that the resort has been open..

Each year, millions of people enjoy spending time at Kansas lakes and rivers and return home with happy memories to share with others. Sadly, outdoor fun turned fatal for five people who drowned in Kansas waters the first week of July – including four who perished over the extended July 4th holiday. This brings the number of people who have been fatally injured or drowned in Kansas lakes, ponds and rivers so far this year to 13. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that nearly half of all drownings in the U.S. occur in natural water settings.

Nine of the 13 incidents occurred when the victims were swimming or wading and were not boating related. Kansas Department of Wildlife, Parks and Tourism (KDWPT) investigates boating accidents. Only one of the victims was wearing a life jacket. The following list of incidents was compiled from KDWPT and news reports:

July 6 – George Willenberg, 38, Hoisington, died at Wilson Reservoir while trying to swim across a cove in the Rock Town area after the boat he was on had mechanical problems.

July 5 – Oscar N. Rodriguez-Vargas, 29, Wichita, died at El Dorado Reservoir when he stepped from shallow water into deeper water while wading to a boat drifting offshore.

July 5 – Tommy Watt, 15, Clay Center, drowned while swimming in a private farm pond near Longford in Clay County.

July 4 – Khai Pu, 27, Thailand, drowned while swimming at the Hillsdale State Park swim beach in Miami County.

July 1 – Blake Chavez, 24, Oswego, died when he fell into the Neosho River below the Oswego dam.

June 29 – Marcus Marqaiz Hutton, 19, Wichita, died at Cheney Reservoir while swimming with friends after he helped another struggling swimmer to safety.

June 28 – James Struthers, 47, Junction City, died after falling from a boat near the city of Milford boat ramp.

June 11 – Derek Wheeler, 18, Salina, died at Kanopolis Reservoir after his kayak capsized.

June 10 – Nicolas Frazer, 14, Centralia, was fatally injured at Centralia City Lake when he was thrown from an inner tube being pulled behind a boat. He was wearing a life jacket, and was later pronounced dead at Nemaha Valley Community Hospital in Seneca.

June 8 – John Freeman, III, 40, Lyons died at Kanopolis Reservoir while swimming near his campsite.

May 27 – Travis Webb, 14, Haysville, drowned at Wellington City Lake while wading with friends.

May 26 – Vincent Rice, 37, Melvern, drowned at Melvern Reservoir while scuba diving in the area of the Coeur D’Alene swimming beach.

May 18 – Robert Duff, Jr., 2, City, fell from a boat and was airlifted to a Topeka hospital where he passed away.

According to Maj. Dan Hesket, KDWPT Boating Law Administrator, drowning incidents may be prevented with a few simple precautions:

Wear a life jacket at all times. Kansas law requires that all boats have one Type I, Type II, Type III, or Type V PFD of proper size, in serviceable condition, not in an enclosed compartment and readily accessible for each person on board. Anyone 12 years old and younger must wear a life jacket at all times when on board a boat. KDWPT strongly recommends that everyone wear a life jacket at all times when boating or swimming. It’s a great way for adults to set a good example.

Swim and wade with caution. Lakes and rivers aren’t swimming pools and shouldn’t be treated as such. Kansas lakes have wind, waves, underwater obstacles, sudden drop-offs and soft bottoms. Rivers can have deceptively strong currents. Many Kansas lakes also have currents because they were built by flooding a river channel. Also, most Kansas lakes are murky, making it nearly impossible to quickly locate someone who has slipped beneath the surface.

Don’t dive into a lake since you can’t see the water depth or underwater debris.

Know your limitations. Many people over estimate their ability to swim in open water. No one is drown-proof, no matter how much training or experience they have. Swimming in a lake is strenuous, and even strong swimmers can quickly become fatigued, disoriented, or overwhelmed by wind, waves and currents. Be particularly cautious if you have underlying medical issues or take medications that could impair your abilities.

Don’t swim at night and don’t swim alone. No one can see you if you get into trouble.

Avoid horseplay and risk-taking. Practical jokes or childish challenges like breath-holding contests have no place while swimming or boating. Most drownings in the U.S. happen to males – possibly because they may be more inclined to take risks than females.

Avoid alcohol and other drugs. In addition to impairing a person’s judgment about lake conditions, alcohol increases the likelihood a swimmer will tire or become disoriented, hyperventilate, or gasp involuntarily.

Designate a lookout – Unlike the local swimming pool, there are no lifeguards on duty on Kansas waters, so it’s a good idea to designate someone who can sound the alarm and respond appropriately if a swimmer gets into trouble. Rescuers should not attempt to approach a person struggling to stay afloat unless they are trained to do so. Even strong swimmers can drown trying to help others. Instead, stay on the boat or dock and extend a pole, oar, stick, rope, or clothing to reach the victim or throw something floatable to them.

Learn cardio-pulmonary resuscitation (CPR). You could save someone’s life in the time it takes for emergency responders to arrive at a rural location.

Following these precautions can help make your next outdoor adventure a fond – rather than a tragic – memory for you, your family and friends.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 8, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

If you want to feed a man for a day, give him a fish. Teach him to fish naked with a woman and you have a TV show, and people who are incredibly careful with fishing hooks.

One of my favorite networks, Discovery, has created a new series called "Naked & Afraid." I actually watched it by accident as I was watching Nik Wallenda walk over the Grand Canyon on a tight rope. He made it. I got bored and left the living room and when I came back, this show was on. I watched curiously as they blurred out body parts.

At first I was like, "Hey, they stole my idea!" But, actually my idea for a show was "Naked and cooking bacon." So, technically it’s different.

The premise of the show? On each episode, a man and a woman have to survive 21 days in the wilderness together: naked, and with nothing but one personal item (I would pick sun screen, a toothbrush or maybe a helicopter). Oh, and there’s no prize involved at the end.

It sounds awkward. So when Shane and Kim met in Costa Rica, they decided to get that out of the way.

"Shane? I’m Kim. Should we talk about the fact that we’re both naked? Just check each other out," Kim quipped. "We might as well do it right now. Diffuse the tension. Yep, yep, yep," Shane replied.

After that, according to the reviews things became less about nudity and more about survival. For me, it never became anything other than two naked people wandering around outside in the jungle trying to catch things to eat. Shane and Kim only ate a few times in the three weeks -- both lost serious weight, and struggled. I can’t even do the delicious shake meal replacement program, so I am not considering this as a weight loss program.

Discovery says participants are naked so the show is about the purest forms of survival or as I like to call it, "the purest forms of stupidity."

Yes, there are two naked people there and I am sure they get used to being that, but what about the camera crew? I would hate to be the editing guy who had to blur out all of the nudity for this show.

"No food. No water. No clothes," a narrator says during the opening credits. "Can a man and woman survive alone in the wilderness naked and afraid?"

As promised, the show delivers nakedness and I am sure most of the watching world was afraid of what TV entertainment has come to.

If Discovery gets away with it, it could ruin TV as I know and love it. I can only imagine the spin offs, "Naked and American Pickers," "Naked and Pawn Stars," "Naked Fox & Friends..."

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 24, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Since the invention of the Internet, spreading the news has never been faster, or wronger....

I frequent a couple of local Facebook pages that contain rants from some citizens and noncitizens that make some pretty wild claims. It’s actually quite entertaining for me and I’ve gotten to the point where now I am contributing to the discussion on a couple of the forums.

I just can’t help myself.

Published information should be factual and credible, no matter what the venue. If a newspaper made up wild, unsubstantiated claims like you see on Facebook, we would be out of business. Since Facebook is an open forum and not supported by advertising dollars, it is largely held unaccountable for the content.

Spreading misinformation is easy for anyone with a computer these days. I read on Facebook last week that people are leaving our town in what is almost described as an Exodus, and our town is "dieing" (should be dying, but I, more than anyone understand how typos happen.) Businesses and people would not want to come here! There are no jobs!

What? Did I miss something?

The simple truth is that this statement couldn’t be further from the TRUTH. We are a prospering town. A town with our own unique struggles, but a prospering town. For years we have seen development and growth in industry. We’ve also got sales tax data to back that up. From a comparative standpoint, 2012 sales tax collections increased 40% when compared with 2009 sales tax collections when they were at their low point. Collections from January to March 2013 are up 150% over the same period last year. Sound much like a dying business community?

No jobs?

There are 11 jobs advertised this week in the paper. Some with educational experience required and some with GED or equivalent and some with no requirements at all. Don’t sit at home behind your computer and tell me and the world that there is no one to hire you.

I speak with employers all of the time and their biggest struggle is finding people to work. If you don’t have a job, it’s not the fault of our economy or business community. Folks need to take a long look in the mirror to find the real problem for not finding work.

People leaving town must mean empty houses, right?

Have you tried to rent property lately? If you haven’t, there practically isn’t any to rent or buy. I’m guessing when these "people" are leaving the community, more must be coming in to live.

Did you know that as of September of 2012, 455 students were enrolled with USD #254? It is projected by the central office that the number will be 501 at the beginning of this school year!

I can easily count several families, young families - with lots of children, who have moved BACK to Medicine Lodge to make it their home! They are professionals like business owners, teachers and hospital office staff.

Many of these individuals have made some positive rebuttals against those who claim doom and gloom over our community. They’ve seen other places and they want what Medicine Lodge has to offer.

I would encourage those who don’t like it here to simply leave! That’s right. I said it! Find a better community! Make room for the ones that want to be here!

I might sound a little mad because I am. Issues like, who picks up our trash, zoning and water restrictions do not define Medicine Lodge. They are simply challenges that many communities are faced with. Medicine Lodge is mostly made up of caring and concerned individuals who educate themselves on facts and are not driven to near madness by incoherent rants on Facebook.

So when you read some claim about Medicine Lodge dieing (dying), "the reports of her death are greatly exaggerated."

 

KWIBS - From June 17, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Our office closed Wednesday afternoon and we all went down to the middle school at 1 p.m. to hear the announcement about the Clarke Challenge.

We made it!

For the past year we’ve been reporting on the efforts to match $500,000 offered up by Mr. Clarke and not only did the community match it, it exceeded it - for a total of $607,473!

There was an overwhelming feeling of pride as the announcement was read. The community has truly taken ownership in the hospital and the new construction is currently underway. When the hospital is finished, it will be a state of the art facility that will give back to our community for many more years to come. Congratulations to everyone who helped, and special thanks to the foundation for their creative and hard work towards achieving this goal.

? ? ? ?

 

 

On June 17, 1988, just a month after I graduated from MLHS, I married my high school sweetheart and my best friend.

Ronda and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary as this newspaper hits the stands. I live a blessed life. I hope she can say the same! Together we have three children and two grandchildren. We couldn’t be prouder of our accomplishments and humbled by our failures.

We have an incredible story. Our journey has been full of thrills and spills and God has kept us together through it all.

I look at us all those years ago and I see a couple of kids. I look older, heavier and thinner on top; Ronda is frozen in time, looking as beautiful as the day I took her hand.

I love you Ronda. Happy Anniversary!

 

KWIBS - From June 3, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Another Junefest went into the history books of Medicine Lodge.

June 3rd was an awesome day and it wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for one very special lady driving it. Chamber Manager Cindy Brungardt hit a home run with Junefest. As a chamber member and a board member, I can’t thank her enough for all her hard work! With her dedication, you can be sure that it will get better in the years to come.

What many people don’t know is that there almost wasn’t a Junefest. With the chamber recently reorganizing and timing being an issue, there were some who thought maybe the event should be sidelined, but Cindy wouldn’t hear of it, and I’m glad she wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Thank you Cindy! You’re doing good things for Medicine Lodge and I hope more people fall in line to help you and encourage you.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 27, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Water supplies are of great concern to our community.

It was one of the main issues I raised when I was running for county commissioner last year, but few seemed interested in talking about it. Recent rains have helped, but we need so much more to replenish underground supplies.

With our responsibilities with Lake Arrowhead, Ronda and I have been to several state level meetings concerning water supplies in Kansas. The news hasn’t been good for a few years now and most folks have had a "bury their heads in the sand" attitude about water conservation. Some cities, including Medicine Lodge, have taken initiative in gathering data and monitoring supplies. This is only the beginning to a long process. Many communities in Western Kansas have implemented water rationing and issued "warnings" about their fresh water supplies.

Wichita city officials tackled this subject back in February when they discussed rapidly depleting supplies from the Cheney Reservoir. Wichita draws much of its water supply from Cheney and water levels have been down as much as 40%.

It’s time to talk about water.

The City of Medicine Lodge is holding a public meeting on Wednesday, May 29, 2013, 7 p.m. at the Heritage Center. I would encourage you to attend. The public meeting will be to present you with data concerning water supplies and the concerns our city faces. I believe there have been a few misconceptions about supplies and demand and what the city has been doing to protect citizens.

KWIBS - From May 20, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

I could be upset about Benghazi or the recent IRS scandal, but more so I am upset about the Obama Administration’s recent inappropriate intrusion and interference with the Associated Press.

The government’s carpet bombing approach to finding their "mole" who leaked what they believed was sensitive information is at the very least a Gestapo tactic to control information going to the press. They don’t like us. They consider us the enemy rather than the pesky watchdogs we thought we were. And they’ll stop at nothing, including destroying the news industry’s most trusted sources of information, when they’re searching for evidence to plug leaks.

President Obama originally promised to be the most "transparent" chief executive in our nation’s history when he took office in 2009.

The facts are that this president held fewer press conferences by historic standards and seemed to prefer speeches over direct questions from journalists whose jobs are to scrutinize the presidency.

I’m no closet conservative, as many of you know, but I haven’t been sitting back waiting for our president to fumble the ball so I could say, "I told you so." This recent revelation is a game changer. It’s confiscation of electronic communication records of several Associated Press reporters (the free press) by our Justice Department.

Doug Anstaett, the Kansas Press Association Executive Director, and two time voter for President Obama changed his tone this week in his editorial, "recent revelations have been disconcerting and, frankly, quite disappointing. They reveal a president — or at least an administration — that hasn’t always followed its own lofty rhetoric."

He added, "Our system is set up with the press as an independent entity and, it is hoped, an impartial witness and reporter of what government officials do.

We are meant to be the thorn in their side, the burr in their saddle, always trying to keep government honest.

If we are doing our jobs, and government employees are doing theirs, these kinds of confrontations are inevitable.

Even so, we’re disappointed.

We want answers. We want changes.

And we deserve them."

 

KWIBS - From May 13, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Courtesy Photo

Bob Greer (center), editor of the Protection Press, recipient of the Clyde M. Reed Jr. Master Editor Award. Greer started the newspaper in 1986 after a long career writing for newspapers including the Garden City Telegram.

Congratulations to my friend Bob Greer!

A couple of weeks ago I learned that my friend Bob Greer was to be honored by the Kansas Press Association at their annual convention. Bob had stopped by my office for his monthly, "I need to use your bathroom," stop on his way to Wichita. He’s stolen several rolls of toilet paper and copies of The Gyp Hill Premiere over the past 21 years. I’m not sure what he uses for which.... We always share a few jabs and insults.

He told me he was getting an award. I asked him if his award was for the most mistakes in print made by one newspaper publisher over a lifetime. To my surprise, Bob didn’t even know what the award was for. All he knew was that he and his family were summoned to Topeka for the awards ceremony.

My curiosity got the best of me, so I called some people in the know and found out that Bob was awarded the "Clyde M. Reed Jr. Master Editor Award." I couldn’t be prouder of my old friend and had only wished I could have been notified earlier so that Ronda and I could share in that celebration.

Bob and I go way back. So far back, I’m almost embarrassed. I was about 16 years old when he started printing his paper with us at the Index. I thought Bob was ancient then. He’s 87 now and still putting out his newspaper in Protection, KS. He’s got a lot of good help, but Bob is still active in writing sports and hammering out a column each week by manual typewriter or hand written scribbles on note paper.

So I asked Kansas Press Association to send me what they had on Bob. I wanted to share his story with my readers. Bob was an inspiration to me to start The Gyp Hill Premiere back in 1991. I so badly wanted to scoop his paper on the story, but out of respect for my old friend. I waited a week!

Bob’s first-ever writing effort was as an 11-year-old back in 1937. He was a sixth grader at South Fort Worth, Texas, Grade School. The school decided to start a student paper of its own, producing it on a mimeograph machine. They offered a prize of a free movie ticket (then worth 10 cents!) for naming the paper.

"I came up with the title of "The Broadcast." As a result, I won that show ticket, was made assistant editor, and wrote sports, too. Man, I was a cheese! I was in the newspaper business," he said.

On through junior high and high school years Bob continued to write. He said he just loved journalism, and never wanted to do anything else.

Bob lived in Fort Worth and Dallas; Evansville, Indiana, and spent seven years in California. He lived in Boulder, Colorado, for many years. He attended the University of Colorado for parts of five years there, but never earned a degree.

"Finally I ran out of money, so I took my first full-time writing job at Alliance, Nebraska. I later wrote for daily papers at Scottsbluff, Nebraska (a great town), and Holdrege in that same state," he commented.

Later Bob wrote briefly for a paper published twice weekly at Brighton, Colorado. Then it was on to Lamar, Colorado, for about two years.

Bob was hired to write for the Hutchinson Daily News. When he arrived there, they asked if he would instead go to their daily paper at Garden City, Kansas. Bob jumped at the chance, for it was near Lamar.

He had no plans to stay at Garden City, but 18 years later he was still there. For 12 of those years he worked for Editor Bill Brown: "the best boss I ever had. Six frustrating years after he left the Garden City Daily Telegram, I checked out, too."

In the years which followed, Bob worked two years for the Dodge City Daily Globe, for the Scott City News-Chronicle, and for some other papers. He was finally hired by the Cimarron Jacksonian, a weekly. It was part of a series of papers owned by the folks at Cimarron. Included were papers at Protection, Bucklin and Meade.

He worked for that group for another couple of years, and went to Protection for the first-ever time. "I loved it here and became well-acquainted. After about two years, I was fired by the owner. That was not because I was incompetent. He had a chance to get another editor for less money," Bob remembered.

When that happened, a number of merchants in Protection asked if Bob would consider moving to Protection and starting a weekly paper in competition with the then-existing publication, The Protection Post. Bob says he was reluctant to do so, for the Post had been in existence about 75 years.

But the merchants pledged their support and backing, and so he went down there and started the Protection Press in January of 1986. First Bob went to Cimarron to see if a group of backers in Protection could buy the existing paper.

The owner turned down his offer, even scoffed and added that there was no way that Protection alone could support a weekly.

He was wrong. Twenty years later Bob is still there and the paper is still going on. The owner of the Post shut down that paper less than a year after he and his wife opened the Press in competition.

That’s the abbreviated version of how Bob got to Protection and how he started a weekly paper.

"I sold an old house I owned in Garden City, and took my whole "bankroll" to invest in the paper here. I also was able to sell stock to several folks in Protection, to help me get underway," he said. "Since then I have paid off all of those "investors," and my little paper is still chugging along."

So is Bob!

He always likes to point out to me, "We started the Press without a single subscriber. It now has 700 readers — from a town with just 555 population. And circulation continues to grow. Forgive my bragging: but we must be doing something right!"

Bob and Wilma met in 1964 when Wilma was a waitress at the Bus Cafe in Garden City, Kansas. Bob was age 39 when he married Wilma at the county courthouse in Scott City, Kansas, on July 17, 1965. She was just 20 at that time. I kid him for being a cradle robber. Bob was in his sixth year of 18 at the Garden City Daily Telegram. He was sports editor and general reporter there for almost two decades. Wilma later worked at the Continental Inn at Garden City for 12 years. She also was employed for some years at the Chaparral Restaurant in Cimarron, Kansas.

Wilma’s maiden name was Brasher. She was born February 19, 1945, at Altus, Arkansas. She and her family lived in a number of different towns so she attended many schools. Her "stops" included Arkansas; Holly, Colorado; the area around Rolla, Kansas; Big Bow School near Ulysses, and schools in Garden City.

Bob was born at Ft. Worth, Texas, on January 20, 1926. His dad was a baker and was the bakery supervisor for all of the dormitories at the University of Colorado for about 30 years. His father is buried at Boulder, Colorado.

Wilma’s folks were farmers and general workers. Both the Brasher family and the Greers lived in a large number of states.

Bob attended the University of Colorado for more than four years. He has written for some 15–20 newspapers during his lifetime.

The Greers moved to Protection, Kansas, in 1986 from Cimarron, Kansas. They started the weekly Protection Press with some help from local businessmen and other supporters. Bob is still churning out stories and tales each week on his manual typewriters and has a weekly column, "Bobbing Along Broadway."

For about 18 years Wilma worked at Don’s Place in Protection. In 2004 she became a janitor at South Central Elementary/Middle School in Protection. Wilma loves that job, especially being around the kids.

Bob and Wilma both enjoy walking and have done so for many years. They also enjoy driving back roads and looking at various wildlife and scenic areas.

The Greers have two sons. Gene Greer is employed by the City of Garden City, heading up a crew of some 12 people who do landscaping and other work in the community. Donald Greer, the younger son, is employed by Kennedy and Coe Accounting in Wichita. A CPA (Certified Public Accountant) Don also travels to several nearby states, checking banks and other firms, helping them audit.

I couldn’t be any prouder to be his friend. Bob is in inspiration to me. Congratulations!

 

KWIBS - From April 29, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

This week has been a whirlwind for the newspaper. I consider the week of graduation one of the biggest and busiest weeks, annually for our office. The senior edition is one of the most tedious things to construct. Even though class sizes have grown smaller, it takes hours upon hours to gather the seniors information, photos and advertising.

There are so many people who work on this edition: Ronda, Doris and my mom. I do all the pagination work (layout). It’s really a stressful ordeal.

I always think selfishly about how hard we work to get this done each year, but I forget about Cheri Dohrmann. Every year I come calling (whining) to her about not having everything I need to get the edition done. She always pull through for me. Cheri chases down seniors who don’t get their information to us, chases down photographers for photos and even shoots some of the kids herself. Without her, there would be no senior edition at all. Thank you, Cheri. I so appreciate your help.

To the class of 2013, I say CONGRATULATIONS! Some of the years to come will be some of the best of your life. Here’s a bit of advice once given to me: Don’t expect life to be easy now just because you graduated from high school. Yeah, that’s right. I thought, what???

The tough part is just beginning! Becoming an adult is hard work and you’ll long for the days when you were living at home with your parents and your siblings and attending school. Work hard these next few years. There will be ups and downs. Never give up and never surrender! Make your community, your family and your friends proud! Best wishes to your future!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 22, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

"It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it," - Steven Wright.

Last week the world was shocked when Monday’s Boston Marathon had two bombs explode near the finish line. I kept thinking all day about how thankful I was to live in a safe place where things like that don’t happen and when they do, it’s not anyone I know. It just turns into another sad world tragedy.

Then I got an email from my mom later that day.

My First Cousin Caitlin Amaral was at the finish line when the bombs exploded. She is an event volunteer. She was uninjured physically, but is obviously shaken up by the carnage that she witnessed.

Because of this connection, I reflected on the craziness of this world. What does it take to push someone to the point where they would want to take an innocent life? This was so senseless. I just can’t even rationalize why someone would bomb people watching the Boston Marathon. As the days pass by, it also becomes more evident to me that this was probably something done by a fellow citizen. Most terrorists would want to make a big announcement of their strike against America.

The Boston Marathon isn’t a political event. It’s an old race and celebration that falls on Patriot’s Day in this city, yet somebody decided it was the place to maim and kill innocent people. Three lives were lost and hundreds were injured.

As strange as this may sound, and please don’t take it the wrong way, I was thankful that only three lives were lost. I almost had a moment of satisfaction knowing that whoever did this, failed miserably. It could have been so much worse. This statement isn’t meant to take away from the tragedy of this act of terror.

It had almost the opposite effect in my opinion. Instead of instilling terror in the victims, many of them turned into heroes that we’ll be admiring for weeks to come. Several acts of courage and bravery actually instill pride in many people who have seen the news reports. Scenes of spectators and racers picking up and carrying the wounded, making tourniquets out of their own clothes and cleaning shrapnel from people’s foreheads is a reminder of the danger of terrorism from those involved in 9/11 and home grown monsters like the ones who were responsible for the Oklahoma City bombing.

Sadly, we’ll probably give up more of our civil rights because of events like these. We should expect tighter security, harsh questioning and body searches.

We won’t ban pressure cookers or duffle bags (like the ones used to make the bomb), but we’ll put unreasonable restrictions on law-abiding people who want to purchase a fire arm, which they have a constitutional right to own. We won’t address the problem that we can’t enforce morality or goodness in people, but we’ll continue to cut funding for mental health and our military and give more jets to countries like Egypt. Then in a few days, months or maybe a year, we’ll ask why this happened again. Evil is in the world and it’s growing. It’s so sad to have to react to these sorts of crimes of cowardice. I can only hope that God delivers swift justice to those who have no regard for human life and liberty.

Have a great week.

KWIBS - From April 15, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

"Whether the weather be fine, Whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather, Whatever the weather, whether we like it or not" - author unknown.

If you have spent any time in Kansas the past month, you probably noticed that we are experiencing a strange weather phenomena, probably caused by global warming.... or farting cows.

Last Tuesday morning I stepped out my front door in my bathrobe to peek at my thermometer and saw that it was already 67 degrees. I had a big day planned. I grabbed a pair of shorts, a T-shirt and headed out to run some errands for the ranch. By the time I got home that evening, it was 31 degrees and I had been in a snow storm, hail storm, a sleet storm, thunderstorm and had taken shelter from a possible tornado near Pratt.

Soaked, cold and unloading a trailer at 8:30 p.m., still wearing the same shorts and T-shirt I originally thought appropriate for the day, I shook my fist at God and boldly proclaimed, "Thank You Lord for the moisture!"

It is such a blessing to have moisture and I know most of us appreciate it in any form He provides right now.

So if you don’t like the weather in Kansas, wait a few hours.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 1, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

I want to thank Liz Hanna for clarifying why we did not receive Mrs. Kimball’s letter last week.

Gaps in the time between a cancelled city council meeting and the assumption we would receive it through the packet, put a lapse in communication between parties. Liz feels badly about the situation, so please be kind to her! (See below).

Regardless, we did print Mrs. Kimball’s letter and we do appreciate that she DID include us in this communication between their group and the city. I’m truly sorry to Jean Kimball for accusing her of "snubbing" the paper. The call from a representative of her group expressing their concern that we wouldn’t print the letter is what lead to my questions in a portion of my last column.

? ? ? ?

For 60 years a cease-fire agreement was in place between North and South Korea. Last week, North Korea tore up that agreement and a few weeks prior to that threatened to "nuke" Washington in a propaganda video. The whole region seems tense and ready to destabilize. They are testing long range missiles and making all sorts of crazy threats.

It sort of reminds me of tension in our own community. We’re pretty quick to jump to conclusions and point fingers. Again, I hope cool heads prevail for the benefit of our community! Have a great week!

Correction...

At Monday night's council meeting it was brought to my attention that Kevin Noland did not receive Jean Kimball's letter. This is true, Kevin did not receive it, I did. I was present at the public meeting where Jean read the letter aloud. She gave me a printed copy of it. At this point, Kevin was out of state and the paper for the following Monday was already set. I attempted to call Jean that night to let her know but got no answer. In the mean time, on Monday, March 18 the Council Meeting was rescheduled due to lack of quorum. I saw that Jean's letter was on the Council agenda. I assumed that since her letter to the Mayor and Council was going to be addressed by the Mayor it was being taken care of. Well, you know what they say happens when you assume. So I offer a sincere apology to Jean Kimball and to Kevin Noland. This is a miscommunication that I take responsibility for. Take it easy on me, pregnancy brain is not kind. - Liz Hanna

 

KWIBS - From March 25, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

A week from Tuesday, Medicine Lodge residents have the opportunity to select three city council members. Fortunately for Medicine Lodge, three qualified citizens have stepped up and registered to have their names on the ballot. Norm Clouse and Mike Roe are veteran council members. They both have refiled and newcomer, Nick Burns, is no stranger to our community.

Unless you've paid close attention, you may not know that our city had its share of financial struggles. As recently as 2009, we were rapidly burning up our reserves. It took some brave leadership, professional management and some tough decision-making to put us back in the black.

One of the tough decisions occurred a month ago when the city decided to stop providing the trash service. Nisly Brothers have been given the contract to provide trash and recycling services and have agreed to give a 5% franchise back to the city - a guarantee that the service will operate without liability to the city or its citizens. The decision, one that will benefit: the city economically; its citizens with greater ease of recycling; and the county by extending the life of the land fill, has sparked criticism from a small, but very vocal group of citizens, who now have met publicly to "take back our town". One of their ways of doing so is rumored to be by writing in candidates to take over a majority of council seats. Where were these concerned citizens in January when the deadline to file came and went? This "fired up" group of people are using the trash service change as their call to arms? Some will be angry with me at this statement, but the newspaper isn’t here to sugar coat the facts and I can’t stay silent. This group would have never formed if it weren’t for the issue of trash.

Representatives from this group have also taken a position against the newspaper at times, using public forums to claim that we misquoted them and even going as far as lying about submitting letters for publication and being refused. For the record, only one letter was submitted to the newspaper that was flagged for "refusal", but upon meeting with a representative from this group, it was mutually agreed to be withdrawn and not published. However, a citizen called my office this week claiming they were told I had refused a letter from Jean Kimball. This is a complete fabrication. We never received a letter from Mrs. Kimball. In fact, she was in our office earlier that very day renewing her subscription. We have located the letter that was included in the council agenda packet and have printed it on page 10 this week. Keep in mind, she did not submit it to the paper, but did submit to the city, making it information of public interest. I don’t know why she didn’t submit it to us, but we will not be accused of something that simply isn’t true. I will note that the letter was submitted to the Alva Newsgram (of Alva, OK - not a local newspaper with ties to the community who actually pay taxes here???). No offense to the Newsgram, just wanted to point out that someone felt it necessary for them to have this letter, but not us.

"Taking back our town." That's been a phrase repeating in my head now for several weeks. It has never "not" been our town. We've elected council members to represent us for as long as the city has been founded. As long as I can remember, we don’t micromanage every decision that our council makes on our behalf. We don't always agree with decisions that our representatives make, but most often times we misunderstand the needs for those very decisions. For example: several years ago a survey was sent out asking citizens to rank by importance ten things that had been prioritized by the city council. Overwhelmingly, the number one thing was to "clean up the town". Through a series of ordinance changes and enforcement, things are getting cleaned up, but as a result many folks who wanted to have the town cleaned up are now angry to find out that the very properties they own were deemed in need of being "cleaned up"! Somehow, by adopting modern city ordinances (used by hundreds of cities), people are now accusing city officials of blackmail, extortion, criminal behavior, voilating our constitutional rights and fraud.... and by the way, they appear to be mad as heck.

"Back" is the most frightening word in the "take back our town" group's unofficial slogan. There are a lot of things I wish we could go back to like lower water rates (columns about my kids, etc), but again, it's easy for us all to get upset about things like that and not understand why they are the way they are. Pay attention to any local news and you'll hear some pretty frightening claims about rationing of water in places as close as Wichita and statements from the Kansas Water Office that reservoirs are drying up and the recent drought has put many cities at risk of losing their water sources. There are a lot more things I wouldn’t want to go back to. I hate the thought of even having to put them into print.

I've strayed a little off topic. My column is to alert you to your responsibility to get out and a vote next Tuesday. We should all be so thankful to live in a country with free elections and rights that protect us as citizens. Sometimes these very freedoms come with consequences that slow down progress, but it is a necessary check and balance of power. None of us would want it any other way.

So please vote with the facts. I have witnessed the strong-armed tactics by this group. I have heard many false statements made to influence voters. Complete fabrications of the truth made to stir discontent and cause confusion are being used to influence your vote. If you believe the misinformation and vote accordingly, you could find that you will be taking our town back - as in backward, not forward.

Please use common sense and vote using the truth when you go to the polls to vote. Our community depends on it.

KWIBS - From March 18,  2013 - By Kevin Noland

Have a great week!

I have the same reaction to Girl Scout Cookies that I have when someone says, "I’ve got this ground-breaking business plan I want to tell you about."

At least no one is going to ask you to buy Girl Scout Cookies and then become a sales person for the product. Unless you are me.

In fairness, I was never really asked to become a Girl Scout Cookies salesman, it just sort of happened. I came to work one morning to find them on display in my office. Naturally, I bought a box, that turned in to a few more sales and then my wife started buying them. Naturally, I told people they were available and pretty soon I was making change for them at the counter. Without warning. I made a couple of big sales before I realized I wasn’t even a Girl Scout!

Doris’s granddaughter, Marie, is the actual Girl Scout. She obviously deserves some sort of merit badge for "business practice" because she’s managed to set up a franchise here at The Gyp Hill Premiere!

Now, the cookies will only be on sale for a little while longer and I want them GONE! Not because I am tired of them all over the counter and bench here in our office, but because I am sick of eating them!

Here’s the challenge. If you come in and buy a box of cookies, I will match that $3.50 for that amount off of any new or renewed subscription while the cookies remain. Just mention that you saw this in my column and buy a box (or a dozen boxes). If you buy 12 boxes and want 12 new subscriptions. I’ll honor that too. If you by 100 boxes of cookies and you want to extend your own subscription by 100 years, I’ll knock off $350. Heck, I’ll even buy your 101st box. Just get them out of here.

The thought of eating one more peanut butter cookie just makes me.... want to actually buy another box of peanut butter cookies.

Please. I’m begging you. Help me.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 11, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain, who inspected his sailors one day, a few weeks from leaving home and a few weeks away from their next port of call. Afterward, he told his first mate that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change their underwear occasionally. The first mate snapped a salute and responded, "Aye, Aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"

The first mate went straight to the sailors' berth deck and announced, "the Captain thinks you guy smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."

He continued, "Now here's what we're going to do...Leo you change with Jerry...Tony you change with Bert, and Bert, and Bob you change with Ed".

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

Someone may come along and promise to effect "Change", but that doesn't guarantee that things will start smelling any better.

The recent sequestration has me questioning Washington’s, and primarily the White House’s, decision to send an economic aid package to Egypt, while laying off air traffic and TSA people around the country and releasing thousands of immigrations violators. I even heard from a former Medicine Lodge resident that his son’s spring break tour of the White House has been cancelled.

I realize that the country won’t suffer too badly from cutting staff to give tours, but where are our priorities when we can’t protect vital programs in our country, yet can send $250 million to a people who hate the idea of America? We’ve already promised Egypt $450 million, but we are going to cut 2% from Medicare to our elderly citizens. We’re going to give money to the country who elected a president with ties to the Muslim Brotherhood, sworn to destroy our country, but we are going to cut money from programs like food stamps, education and crop insurance for Americans.

But wait, it gets more maddening...

The administration in recent weeks has made doomsday predictions about the impact of the cuts of sequestration.

A leaked email from an Agriculture Department field officer adds fuel to claims President Obama's political strategy is to make the billions in recent federal budget cuts as painful as possible to win the public opinion battle against Republicans.

According to the partially redacted email, the Agriculture Department’s budget office and in part states: "However you manage that reduction, you need to make sure you are not contradicting what we said the impact would be."

So in other words, make it hurt?

Some political strategists say the president hopes the cuts hurt enough to compel Republican lawmakers seeking reelection next year to end them by agreeing to more tax increases.

On Sunday, Gene Sperling, the White House’s top economic adviser, suggested Republicans would indeed make this decision.

"Our hope is, as more Republicans start to see this pain in their own districts, they will choose bipartisan compromise over this absolutist position," he said.

Keep in mind that the sequestration is an across the board cut of 2% of government budgets - close to 1,200 of them, if I read correctly. Without any flexibility, cash-fat budgets won’t be able to help the cash-strapped under the sequestration deal that both sides agreed to.

Regardless, the American people will continue to be caught up in the middle and it will be those who are already suffering under a financial burden of fixed income and retirement who will be affected the most.

Real sequestration should have started with salaries of The House of Representatives, Congress and our president.

So what’s that smell?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 4, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

What causes wild animals to eat their young and for the ancient civilizations to sacrifice their children?

Snow days...

For almost a week (5 days total), USD#254 cancelled classes due to the 2 feet of snow we received. Three of those five days, Ronda and I were also snowed in with our youngest.

We were sort of caught off guard with the first round of storms that dumped close to 18" in our area. We had enough food to last a normal family about 2 weeks, but with a 15-year-old boy, we had enough for about 3 days.

Fortunately for Nick, he never looked appetizing to us. After three days we made him take a shower and change his clothes even though he didn’t want to.

The storms that rolled in early in the week caused us to be a little more prepared. Instead of going to church on Sunday morning we went to White’s to stock up on some essentials like toilet paper and corn chips.

When we got to the grocery store, it looked like a scene from The Walking Dead (AMC). The shelves were starting to look thin and bread was almost gone. People shopping looked like scared animals and it dawned on me.... they were all parents of children. It was a premonition. They knew they were about to be trapped inside their homes with hungry children for God only knew how long! We were there too, probably with the same look on our faces. Our shopping turned into a game of full throttle scavenger hunting. Ronda shouted out items on the list as she shopped for her grandma, and I shopped for us.

"Hotdogs!", I thought. You can’t have too many hotdogs and they have a long shelf life. Then I drew a blank...

Ronda was all, "Milk, Eggs, Cheese, Lunch Meat," then it went to "blah, blah, blah, you’re about to be snowed in for days on end.

"Cereal!", I said. You might not have electricity and you can have a bowl of cereal. I piled like 5 boxes in one of those double decker, smaller shopping carts.

"Ranch dressing," I heard a voice in my head say. Nicholas puts that on about everything. He’d probably want some with his cereal. Ladies, don’t leave emergency food preparing to men.

I sort of forgot about things like: make sure the generators will start, have plenty of batteries, matches and candles, etc...

When the storm did finally arrive, it was all it was promised to be and then some. We had drifts as tall as vehicles and as long as half a football field. Nicholas and I ventured out in it between fronts.

The power flickered on and off, but we never lost it. Some weren’t so lucky. Lake Arrowhead residents were among several without power.

My thanks to the brave folks at Southern Pioneer who walked out in that storm and braved the elements to find the problem and have power restored in just a few short hours. They got their vehicles stuck, but they made it out safely.

I wasn’t as big of a moron during this storm as the first one. I had strategically placed the road grader at my house and a tractor at Leroy Webber’s house. Brandon Phipps had brought his backhoe home and we had Clarke’s on standby. When it was over Tuesday morning, we looked out in amazement as everything we had cleared on Sunday, was covered again, by as much, if not more snow.

I fired up the grader at about 9:30 a.m. and started defrosting the windows. After about an hour of running, I jumped in and started up the hill. In 30 short feet, I was stuck. I managed to get it stuck in every direction within a 180 degrees spot in the middle of our driveway. Thankfully, Johnny Bowers and Mark Morganstern arrived about an hour later with chains and a backhoe and we returned the grader to its parking place. There was too much snow and too much ice for it to move. It would be a few hours later that things melted enough that I could get up the hill to help with snow removal.

We were one of the lucky few that have a UTV Polaris. After Brandon, Johnny and Leroy opened up some holes, I ventured out to check on people. There were at least three vehicles stuck in various places on the ranch, including the power company’s UTV.

We finally ended up hiring a dozer to punch through the drifts and after a long cold afternoon outside, I came home and took a warm shower and ate some warm food. I took a few moments and glanced at the postings on Facebook. One incredible picture caught my attention that was posted on Duston Hoagland’s page.

 

Someone wrote on facebook Monday night, "I don’t’ care if school is closed or not tomorrow. My child will be going!" This photo shows the determination of the human parent.

But not so fast....

The human child is also very determined as Laura Nittler remembered, "My Dear Brothers and Sisters...do you remember when we were snowed in and the road grader came through and cleared the roads? We CERTAINLY didn't want to go to school the next day, so we trudged back out and started pushing the snow back in the road. I believe it was the blizzard of 1971! This picture reminded me of that. ENJOY your walk down memory lane, courtesy of your 'favorite' sister! Love you all!"

Have a great week and thank God for the moisture!!

 

KWIBS - From February 25, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

If there’s one thing I am not really a fan of, it’s snow. I made an exception this time since we so desperately needed the moisture for our fields and pastures. Thunder snow was pretty cool.

My friend Flint Rucker always says, "At the end of every drought, comes a good rain." Well, Flint, I guess it can be snow too. I know we’re not out of the woods yet, but this was a really welcome weather system that dumped several inches around the area.

I was impressed with city, county and state for getting out early and often ahead of the accumulation. You guys are greatly appreciated for the long hours and hard work.

? ? ? ?

Today is a special day for a special young man in my life. Nicholas turned 15 today. He’s my youngest (our baby - he hates that!). Nick and I share a lot of things in common. One thing is our taste in music. He’s been learning to play bass and we’ve gone to some concerts together. I’m very proud of the young man he’s becoming and I wish him a happy birthday. Love you Nick!

This is Nick with brothers Gabe and Dameon Aranda from the band "Aranda" from December. The Arandas are family friends who recently got a record deal with Wind Up Records and released their new album "Stop The World."

? ? ? ?

I’ve heard grumblings to the effect that people don’t know what is going on inside our city government. I’m shocked when I hear that since I believe our city is one of the most open governments we deal with as a newspaper. How would you like to have even less information and have more business done in the dark? If state legislatures have their way, this could become a reality.

The following is an editorial from Kansas Press Association’s Doug Anstaett:

You just knew after last year’s brouhaha about the governor’s meetings at Cedar Crest that some state legislators would look for a way to retaliate.

Their plan materialized last week in the introduction of two bills, one in the Senate and one in the House, that would eviscerate the underpinnings of the Kansas Open Meetings Act if approved.

Apparently, pesky reporters and nosey citizens who believe in open government are making it difficult for public officials to do their jobs.

House Bill 2336 and Senate Bill 200 would rewrite KOMA in such a way that any gathering deemed a "social event" could be used as subterfuge for public discussion of virtually any issue.

Language in HB 2336 would let every public official in the state of Kansas — not just legislators — off the hook if a gathering didn’t lead the body or agency to "deliberate specific matters" under their purview. SB 200 would allow such gatherings as long as discussions didn’t lead to the formulation of policy or to a vote of the body.

KOMA is not just about how a public official votes; it’s about the process that led to that vote. Citizens have a fundamental right to know what influences played a part in a decision, not just whether someone ultimately voted "yes" or "no."

That’s why we pay close attention to who contributes to campaigns, who pays big bucks to lobby legislators and who shows up at meetings as opponents and proponents of issues.

If such legislation is approved and "social gatherings" are allowed to be used as a cover for previously illegal public discussions of the issues, citizens will be shut out of the political process.

Even more, the "social gathering" opportunities for public officials will skyrocket, emboldening those with influence to peddle and the deep pockets to pay for it.

Let’s hope those state lawmakers advocating open government principles prevail over those who would return our political system to the proverbial "smoke-filled rooms" of the past.

Kansans should rise up in protest of this blatant attempt to usurp the power of the people.

Doug Anstaett is executive director of the Kansas Press Association.

 

KWIBS - From February 11, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Sometimes you think you remember what you said or the way you said it, but sometimes you are just wrong.

Not long ago, I thought it would be a good policy to record audio at some of our meetings. It’s happened several times in the past that someone has accused the newspaper of misrepresenting what or how something was said. On more than one occasion, I’ve had the opportunity to prove exactly what was said by playing the audio from the meeting.

During Monday’s City Trash Hearing held at The United Methodist Church, a couple of citizens used the public forum, designed to discuss support for or against outsourcing trash service, to state that they were misrepresented in the newspaper from the previous Wednesday’s forum. Ronda and I were about 5 minute late for those comments, but played back the audio that Liz Hanna made to hear these accusations the next morning. I also played back this person’s comments from the previous Wednesday’s forum to make sure we got it right.

We don’t always get it right. I’ll be the first to admit this, but I do wish to apologize to these folks. I am sorry we weren’t there to defend ourselves using the same forum you used to accuse our newspaper of misrepresenting your statements and context. Not only did we get your statements correct and in context, we have your newest comments too.

I’ve invited this person to come in to my office to listen to the audio from the meetings. If anyone believes they were not represented correctly from either of the meetings, I invite you to listen for yourselves. Stop in for an appointment. I’ll make sure we have a good crowd to listen and maybe even some popcorn. Like I said, we don’t always get it right, but we nailed this one.

Forums and hearings like these are an important part of the process. They are public meetings and treated as such.

Lots of emotion played out among the community’s two meetings over the trash service. I want to say thank you to those who did have the courage to get up and say what they felt - on both sides of the issue. It’s everyone’s right to have an opinion and to be heard, but everyone should follow rules of order and courtesy when attending these meetings. There were those who jeered and booed and interrupted. Everyone will remember who you were. I commend the Mayor and City Councilmen who sat through remarks and attacks against their personal businesses and listened patiently to those citizens who threatened to leave Medicine Lodge. These city officials kept their composure and kept the meetings somewhat orderly.

In my opinion, the biggest news of the evening was completely ignored by those attending the meeting. When the council voted to contract with Nisly for our trash service, most got up and left the meeting grumbling out into the hallway, but one important agenda item remained that most didn’t care to hear. By investigating better interest rates and refinancing some of our loans, our city stands to save $74,000 in interest on approximately $1.13 million in four loans, reducing our payments by up to 7 years. The room had pretty much cleared out by this time and only a few people left in the room heard the council move forward on this very important issue.

 

KWIBS - From February 4, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

As much hate mail as this might get me, I have to say I was intrigued by the concern many have about how the city will handle trash services.

I asked a simple question to a post on Facebook last week. It read, "It's not in our town's best interest to hire companies from Hutchinson or Wichita to come do a job that should belong to our citizens!"

I replied, "This would be a good place to discuss the merits, or lack of merits in keeping the trash service local. Since you think it's in the town's best interest, please elaborate. My two pros for outsourcing would be cost savings and curb side recycling."

From that post, a fire raged across the page of more than 100 comments over a 24 hour period before the public hearing that was held on Wednesday evening. The Facebook post was deleted by the administrator of the page later that day.

What surprised me the most was the passion people had to save the city’s trash service. Why wasn’t there this same passion and enthusiasm from our city’s residents on so many other issues like water rates, the pool construction, the tourism committee's projects, the Peace Treaty, the city park, the Main Street program, the chamber of commerce, housing additions, etc...? Running for city council?????

It strikes me a little odd that everyone is so excited over the trash issue and were not about these things.

One thing everyone agrees on is that Henry Bland and Keith Miller are great guys who do this city a great service. No one disputes that.

So the questions I would have:

Are we protecting these guys who have provided such quality service to the citizens of Medicine Lodge if we change the way we operate? Will the service provided by an outside source be of equal or greater value to the citizens of Medicine Lodge at a reduced cost? Will it encourage people to recycle more?

I believe the city has made great efforts in responding and answering these questions, but still, many are not convinced.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 28, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the MCXXV Edition of The Gyp Hill Premiere!

Next weekend is the "Big Game" between The San Fransisco 49ers and the Baltamore Ravens.

We can’t use the Super "B" word in the paper in any advertisements. That’s a trademark name.

Trademarked and tenaciously defended by the NFL, the phrase "Super Bowl" (oops! I said it) is available to just a handful of official sponsors that pay significant amounts for the right to include the name in their marketing efforts. The Gyp Hill Premiere isn’t one of them. Everyone else, like The Gyp Hill Premiere, and from national electronics retailers to the corner bar, runs the risk of being threatened with a lawsuit by the league if they use the actual name without permission.

Ok, I’m not officially using it as advertising. I’m just mentioning it. Come on, really? Do you think anyone would read my column and think I needed to use the NFL’s "Big Game" as a promotion?

The NFL has 22 official marketing partners that pay upward of $100 million annually to be affiliated with the league. Again, The Gyp Hill Premiere isn’t one of them. Sponsors do include PepsiCo Inc., Verizon Communications Inc., Motorola Mobility Inc. and Castrol Ltd., which is the official motor oil of the NFL. Although there is no specific sponsorship of the "Big Game", NFL sponsors have the right to use the game's name and logo in their own marketing efforts.

Good for them! This "Big Game" is viewed by more than 111 million, as opposed to about 1200 subscribers of The Gyp Hill Premiere.

I sort of figured since I am writing about this "Big Game", I could get away with mentioning its actual name at least once. Heck, who knows? Maybe the NFL will be publishing this newspaper in a few months after a bitter lawsuit over my column.

But before you start photo-copying my column to send to the NFL, note that journalists are free to refer to the Super Bowl in stories, a right that was assured by a 1992 federal appeals court ruling. Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 21, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

The cards and letters and kind words were so appreciated this past week after the death of my dad.

Some of you shared some great stories in remembering the 20 years he lived in Medicine Lodge.

I received a well timed column from Dr. Amy Clarkson with Hospice this week and it was so appropriate for our family during this time. She really writes a great column. If you’ve never taken the time to read her column, please do. I’ve printed it below. Have a great week.

End Notes

Dr. Amy Clarkson is board certified in Palliative Medicine and serves as Medical Director at South Wind Hospice

As humans, we are designed for relationships. We are driven to connect with others, and these connections are the root for many joys and pleasures, but also give purpose to our lives. There is a cost, however, that is demanded for these benefits. That cost is grief. At some point we will lose that relationship, either subjectively or in actuality, as through death.

Grief is a universal experience, not dependent on age, status, gender or intellect, and yet is so individualized that it makes preparing for it and experiencing it hard to generalize. There are some issues that would behoove us to discuss in order to help others, or ourselves, when a loss occurs.

One of the essential needs someone has after the death of a loved one is the opportunity to tell the story of who that person was. This may include the retelling of their death, or the circumstances of their illness, but it may also be memories from the past and accounts of them as a person. The ironic thing is that usually after death, other people don’t want to bring the loss up, for fear of creating sadness or being awkward. Once someone said, "After my husband died, he was always on my mind, so the idea that by saying his name, or asking me a question about him would send me into a depressive tailspin is ridiculous!" In truth, those grieving crave the opportunity to talk about their loved one, and are just waiting for someone to bring it up.

This desire to keep the memory alive by retelling the story of their life does not go away in the weeks after the loss, if anything, it gets stronger. The odd notion that a year after someone dies, life should be back to normal, just devoid of that person, is foolish. What better time to ask a friend to tell you some memories about the person who’s gone.

The other important concept in grief is that there are no stages to go through leading to acceptance. There are common aspects of grief people may have depending on the circumstances of the death itself. For instance, some may feel guilt. This may be guilt in the decisions made, or regrets just prior to the event, but can also be survivor’s guilt in ‘Why didn’t I go first?’ Others feel relief, which can seem abnormal, but usually, if there has been suffering involved its natural to have relief that the suffering is over. Still others get angry, wanting to blame someone or something for the loss. Finally, some feel anxious or helpless, such as with the loss of parents or a spouse who’s provided much support.

The key is that these emotions are normal, and it’s possible to feel many all at the same time.

While grief is an expected part of death, if it begins to affect your health, your job, or your relationships it may be time to seek help.

There is a price for relationships, and at some point we all experience grief. By inviting others to tell their stories we can ensure that when our turn comes, someone will be around to listen to us.

 

KWIBS - From January 7, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

I watched with disappointment as the Cowboys blew another playoff chance, losing to the Redskins last weekend.

Even more frustrating was the constant interruption of news about going over the "fiscal cliff."

Quarterback Tony Romo gets paid - $16.8 million

Coach Jason Garrett made $3 million as an assistant coach for the Cowboys, he makes a lot more now.

Owner Jerry Jones’ networth just for his Cowboy’s team is about - $2.1 billion. He was worth $3.2 billion in September.

After the game, I got up out of my chair and announced that I was throwing Tony Romo, Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones over the fiscal cliff. Problems solved.

The country could operate an additional one day, debt free!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From December 31, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I hope you all had a Merry Christmas. We did, seeing many family and friends over the past week. The holidays do tend to get a little hectic and it puts a lot of pressure on us to put out that last newspaper of the year in the middle of the holiday season. This year was no different, but I am grateful to my mom and Doris and Ronda for organizing the information that goes in to this special paper reflecting on the year that was.

? ? ? ?

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips. (Proverbs 27:2 ESV)

Every year about this time, I begin the process of putting together our year in review edition.

I search through hundreds, if not thousands, of photos and speed read through each edition to find the biggest news of the year and those that make it.

One of my favorite things to do is to consider who had one of the biggest impacts on our community. I like to call this my "person of the year" column. I realize it’s not Time magazine prestigious, but it’s my way of saying thank you for being a good citizen.

My pick this year is David Colborn. David is the owner of Colborn Electric, husband and father, volunteer firefighter and friend to many in the community.

He’s creative and brilliant, which was evident if you drove by his house during the holidays. Colborn wired up his Christmas lights and put them to Christmas music that slowed traffic on Walnut Street at night for a month. He said he put a lot of pressure on his neighbors to decorate their houses for Christmas and promises an even bigger show next year. I know the community enjoyed tuning in to his special radio station, parking in front of his house and watching lights chase across his home and yard. We did and we made many trips to his house to show our family and friends.

David is also quick to say "yes" when there is a special need. I usually beg and he gives in quickly. I’ve asked David several times for his help with the down town sound system. The occasional fried speaker or broken wire is no match for David’s skill.

And finally, David is a humble volunteer. You’ll see his name from time to time mentioned for things like assisting with the school’s electrical needs with the recent press box project. He wants no recognition. In fact, he’s threatened me to not mention of anything he’s done in the community in my newspaper, so many times I haven’t.. However, I waited patiently for someone else to do that for me. This happened back in May when he and Josh Graham were given recognition by the Mayor and City Council for their acts of courage when they went in to a building structure on March 8th to rescue victims from the smoke and flames.

I could go on and on, but I’m already in trouble with him for this column, but I want to point out that people like David are what’s right with Medicine Lodge. There are many like him and I wish I could mention them all.

So David, I’m real proud of you and glad to call you a friend.

Many may not know David personally, but he’s there behind the scenes making Medicine Lodge a better place to live. Now please get to my garage lights project Mr. Colborn!

? ? ? ?

On the front page this week, I did something different than from years past in our review of the year. I put a few pictures of just some of the people we lost in 2012. These people made an impact on our community and as I searched, I collected their photos for a small tribute. Again, it’s only a partial list, but I hope you’ll take time to remember all of the families who lost loved ones in 2012.

Take some time to read this edition and remember the good and the bad of 2012. It’s important to remember our past and to look towards our future as a community.

Have a great week and Happy New Year!

KWIBS - From December 24, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

This is about as far away from a Christmas column as I could travel, but in the shadow of what happened in Newton, CT, I felt it appropriate to share my thoughts about further gun control or weapons banning.

Just a day before the Newton event, China also experienced a tragic school event. In Beijing, a knife-wielding man injured 22 children and one adult outside a primary school in central China as students were arriving for classes, the latest in a rampage attacks at Chinese schools and kindergartens.

Why these attacks on school children? I think the answer is somewhat simple. Those who plan on doing others harm aren’t looking for a fight, they are looking for an easy target. School children don’t fight back. Places with no defenses are easy targets. It’s a sad fact.

As Megan McArdi wrote in her article "There’s Little We Can Do to Prevent Another Massacre",

"It would certainly be more comfortable for me to endorse doing something symbolic--bring back the "assault weapons ban"--in order to signal that I care. But I would rather do nothing than do something stupid because it makes us feel better. We shouldn't have laws on the books unless we think there's a good chance they'll work: they add regulatory complexity and sap law-enforcement resources from more needed tasks. This is not because I don't care about dead children; my heart, like yours, broke about a thousand times this weekend. But they will not breathe again because we pass a law. A law would make us feel better, because it would make us feel as if we'd "done something", as if we'd made it less likely that more children would die. But I think that would be false security. And false security is more dangerous than none."

Her complete article can be found at www.thedailybeast.com.

Like McArdie, my guess is that we're going to get a law anyway.

I am sure this column will result in some rebuttal, but I must say that one way to curb this violence is to arm teachers and faculty. It’s radical, I know, but consider if 5-10 teachers in our school buildings were trained in handling and securing weapons. And if it were clearly known that our schools would meet deadly force with deadly force, how many of these situations could have been avoided? Some might argue that this is far too dangerous to put weapons in our schools, but I think it’s more of a valid discussion than trying to ban weapons from law abiding citizens. Telling bad guys that these are "gun free zones" does not cause them to walk away discouraged because they can’t take their weapon into a school to kill. They are not paying attention to "signs" or laws for that matter, but I promise that if there was a sign posted at our school that said, "Our teachers and faculty are armed and will protect the children of this facility with deadly force," much of this violence and plots to do harm will stop.

Yes, our country needs to do something. Yes, there is too much desensitized violence on TV and in video games. Yes, the mentally ill are often overlooked and underevaluated for detection of violent behavior and yes, there are too many guns in the wrong hands.

We had better start admitting that we have no box big enough to completely contain evil. If someone is bent on hurting someone else, they will do it by whatever means possible. You won’t stop them with a law. I’ve been in bail enforcement for almost 7 years now and my experience is that criminals don’t care about laws.

I believe that as a country, we have chosen to make it impossible for God to enter our schools, but easy for a crazy person with harmful intentions.

I realize we can’t force people to turn to Jesus or any deity, but we also can’t legislate morality. In the event of an attack on our children, if we can’t turn the shooter to Jesus in this life, I suggest we help them meet Him face to face.

We’d like to think we’ve advanced to some sort of civility as humans, but deep down we have to know that not everyone thinks it is insane to harm others for no reason, whatever their age. There are sick, evil people in the world and their always will be.

So my hope is that there will be reasonable talks between reasonable people and that reasonable decisions are made. I personally like the idea of arming our teachers, but many others will think it’s just more violence and that’s not the answer.

So, it’s Christmas. Folks are hurting from this tragic event and I respectfully dedicate this column to the memories of those who lost their life.

I’d like to leave you with this poem:

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38 when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.

their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there

They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.

"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse. "this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."

When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.

He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same. then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring those children all flew into the arms of their King

and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace, one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."

then He looked down on earth, the world far below He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe

then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand, "Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"

"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools" "I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"

Then He and the children stood up without a sound. "come now my children, let me show you around."

Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran. all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.

And i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight, "in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

written by Cameo Smith of Mt. Wolf, PA.

I pray that you have Merry Christmas and remember that we celebrate a risen Savior.

Have a great week.

 

KWIBS - From December 17, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

The good news is, we’re not dead, but the bad news is, we could be later this week. If the Mayans got this right, then this will be my last column.

Most who believe in an "end date", believe the Mayans marked December 21, 2012 to be the grand finale. I’m just guessing they ran out of rock to write on or got really bad chiseler’s cramp.

I, for one, am ready if this is the end. I went Christmas shopping a while back and charged a bunch of money on my credit card. It will be nice to stick it to them.

I’m a little sad though that I didn’t get to finish out my bucket list which included seeing all of my favorite bands in concert (I’m short Weezer and No Doubt), trying to get back into shape, restoring Joey’s 1974 AMC Gremlin, breaking the 100,000 point score on my pinball machine with one ball. I’ve also been putting off cleaning out my garage.

If only I had another year to clean out my garage....

Predicting the end of the world isn’t something new and nobody should get too excited about it.

Harold Camping, the California radio host, has made several stabs at the end of the world. He first predicted the apocalypse in 1994, then blamed his miscalculation on a mathematical error. He made another prophecy this year, stating 200 million of us would be taken to heaven May 21, before the Earth was destroyed. He must have forgotten to carry the 1. The world didn't end and Camping went back to the drawing board and decided the Rapture would occur Oct. 21. Well, I guess that was wrong too. I doubt we’ve heard the last of his predictions and hopefully, someone has bought him a new calculator.

Some guy named Robert Fitzpatrick spent $140,000 of his savings to advertise the Rapture in New York, and was dumbfounded when life went on as usual on May 22nd. "I do not understand why nothing has happened," he told the Reuters news service while awaiting the end of days in Times Square.

These folks who predict the end of the world say they use complicated (debatable) mathematical formulas they get from reading the Bible. I guess they skipped over Matthew 24:36 when Jesus informs everyone that only His father knows the time the world will end. All they have done with these predictions is to prove my theory that they are as good at math as your average newspaper publisher.

There’s no doubt that these are eventful days. With everything going on like earthquakes, to tsunamis, to tornados, to a nuclear crisis, to wars and rumors thereof, these are uncertain times. It only leaves one to question how much time we do have left. What if the Mayans are right? What if this is the end of the world as we know it? Did I leave the oven on at my house?

If it is the end of the world, what would you do? Call your loved ones you haven’t spoken to in years? Eat 6 plates of food at a local buffet? Try skydiving? Tell everyone off in your last newspaper column? Make your friend pay back that $10 he borrowed from me back in October (Justin Rugg)?

I’m probably going to just sit on my couch, drink some cheap Pinot noir and watch reruns on TV. I’m going to wait it out while making dumb posts on Facebook like, "Due to the lack of experienced trumpeters, the end of the world has been postponed for three weeks."

I think REM sang it best....

"It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine."

I guess if on December 22nd we’re all still here, I better spend an extra 5 minutes a day on the elliptical machine and back away from that buffet line. I may also have to clean out my garage...

Have a great end of the world.

KWIBS - From December 3, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

As we get older, we wonder what kind of impression we will leave on this world.

This is a message I received November 16 from Barb Keltner: My Kansas trivia question at the Grade School for library classes this week was "What Kansan was a famous Emporia newspaper editor, and a children's book award was named to honor him after he died?" One of my students answered excitedly, "KEVIN NOLAND!"

Uh, close but this Kansan is dead while Kevin Noland is very much alive and being obnoxious! This Kansan is from Emporia, while Kevin is from ML. This Kansan is "famous" -- while Kevin Noland is legendarily "infamous"! This Kansan is William Allen White! But at least you know you're drumming up some notoriety among the younger set, Kev! ;-)

I almost feel completed... Thanks Barb!

? ? ? ?

In the world of competitive sports, athletes are willing to do anything to win. Some take illegal substances, but are some American football players using Viagra?

The world of American football is abuzz after Brandon Marshall, a Chicago Bears player suggested that some players were using Viagra hoping it would give them an advantage during games.

Dr Olivier Rabin, science director at the World Anti-Doping Agency in Montreal, said it is unlikely Viagra does anything to improve football performance in NFL players. He also said there is no evidence the drug might somehow mask the use of steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs.

Regardless, the Bears are being viewed as stiff competition...

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 26, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

A couple of years ago, I wrote an article about a friend of mine named Sam Clester.

When I was 13 years old, Sam Clester was the most towering human I had ever met. Standing better than 6’5" to my 5’ frame and carrying close to 300 lbs, he was a giant.

Even though imposing, he had a fun nature and gentle goofiness about him that made me love to buck paper for him.

At the time, most kids my age were bucking bales. Yeah, they were tough throwing those 50lb. bales around, but that was nothing compared to bucking paper.

Our paper truck came every few months. When I say truck, I mean semi truck. When I say paper, I am referring to rolls of newsprint that weighed at minimum 998 lbs.

These rolls had to be maneuvered into our building, lined up and lifted on to other rolls in our warehouse with the aid of a roll lift and chain hoist. It was hard work.

Sam would sometimes buy part of our load. He was the owner of The Belle Plaine News and owned the print shop there.

My first encounter with Sam came when my dad told me to help Sam load some rolls up in his truck. I used a small piece of wood scrapped paneling that we referred to as a "cheat" to spin the rolls. At 100 lbs., dripping wet, it was all I could do to spin one of these rolls 20 degrees at a time with a butt-bump.

"Here now, let me show you how to do this," Sam said.

He grabbed that roll of paper and spun it 90 degrees with one shove and no cheat. I was impressed and always remembered this giant from Belle Plaine who could easily handle a 1000 lb. roll of paper in our warehouse.

Seven years later, I was married with a kid and my wife and I were starting our very own newspaper. I needed a place to print my newspaper and called Sam Clester up. He was all about helping me get started and agreed to print our newspaper at his plant in Belle Plaine the second weekend of July in 1991.

Our friendship was solidified in ink, so to say. I watched Sam’s business grow over the years to the point of him selling off his newspaper businesses and simply becoming a "printer" of newspapers around the area. He went through at least a half-dozen pressmen over the years. I even worked for him for one day as a pressman while his pressman was on vacation. Although I had much experience with web press and sheet fed printing over the years, I had never printed on a News King or a Color King. Sam assured me that it was like, "Riding someone else’s bicycle." I had enough ego (or lack of common sense) to give it a shot.

The agreement was that I could have my paper for free that week, if I printed for him while his pressman was on vacation. Looking back now, that wasn’t such a great deal, but I was happy to help out my friend Sam because he had helped me out so many times. I got a quick tutorial on the press one day the previous week and then I was standing in front of this machine the following Monday.

If running this press was like riding someone else’s bicycle, then this was like a unicycle with one pedal and no seat. It kicked my butt.

After wasting more papers than I needed for each of his customers, and barely printing one legible copy of The Gyp Hill Premiere that week, I was a nervous wreck and I quit my one day carreer as his temporary pressman.

For some reason, many small towns had a bar not far from the newspaper office. Belle Plaine had one just to the south and Sam took me there. I had just barely turned 21. I had a few drinks and we put an end to our "free papers for printing" deal. I was out of my league.

Sam understood and let me off the hook. He even discounted my shabby print job that week. I went home with my tail between my legs and we never talked about it again until one day in August of 2010

Ronda and I were on our way to Wichita when my phone rang. It was Sam.

Sam usually only calls when there’s bad news. Things like: the press is broke down or we’re way behind on my printing bill. He wanted to eat lunch and talk face to face. When I hung up the phone, I turned to Ronda and asked, "Are we behind on our printing bill?" We weren’t.

Sam met us for lunch and explained that he was selling off his printing business and retiring. I was not surprised by his decision. I was close to the same age that Sam was when we first met. I knew Sam for nearly 30 years.

Ronda and I went to Mulvane last week and ate dinner with family there. Uncle Greg delivered the news that Sam had passed away on Friday, November 9th after a short battle with cancer. I was sad to hear that my giant friend had died and more sad to have not been able to say goodbye. We ran into Sam at Sam’s Club in Wichita about a year ago. It was sort of a fun joke to have run into him at his own "club". He was good and generous man who I have many stories about. Most I can’t tell in the newspaper.

He was one of the people who helped me start the newspaper more than 1100 press runs and close to 22 years ago. I trusted him and his staff to provide our town with a finished product for all of those years. He never let us down and he was there when the times were tough. There were times in the history of this newspaper, that if it weren’t for Sam’s generosity and patience, we might not have made it.

I thanked Sam in person and printed my gratefulness in ink, that one last time - with Sam’s ink and paper on August 10th, 2012.

In one of our last conversations together, Sam told me that I had courage for going up against the big boys of the newspaper industry when I started The Gyp Hill Premiere years ago. I told him I was just too young and simply too stupid to know better.

He said, "I guess there’s a fine line between courage and stupidity." I agree, but Sam had the courage to stick it out for all these years and we’ll never forget his help and always have a special place in our hearts for him.

- 30 -

A quick round of applause for the newly organized Medicine Lodge Area Chamber of Commerce. Some new interest in the organization and some fresh faces are showing up at the monthly meetings. With some time and patience, I believe we will have a viable and proactive group of people involved and making progress for area businesses in and around Medicine Lodge. Thank you to David and Meleah Oxley, Rick Dirks and many, many others who have stepped up and saved this organization. Medicine Lodge is worth it!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 19, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Later this week we’ll all be celebrating Thanksgiving with our families.

Last Monday I woke up, rushed around, probably ran out the door forgetting to tell my wife I loved her.

Later that morning, a man you probably don’t know told his wife he loved her - for the last time, as she passed away from a stroke she had on November 1st. Her name was Judy Wing. She was just 41. A mother, wife, sister and grandmother.

I first met Judy years ago at the Pratt County Jail through my bail bond business. Judy was the jail’s administrator and a good one. She never had a frown on her face in all the years I worked with her. I never heard her say a negative thing, even when dealing with the most difficult defendants.

The news of her stroke came as such a shock to everyone who knew her. First reports were that she would recover, but as the days went on, things got worse and not better.

Facebook delivered the sad news of her passing. Many of us followed her care at Wesley by reading posts from her husband Bobby Wing.

Early Monday morning, Bobby’s first post at around 5 a.m. read: "Rushing to hospital!!! Please pray!!!!"

Bobby’s next post that morning read, "I love you baby!!!!! Fight baby fight!!!!!!!!"

His post around 9 a.m. was, "I will always love you my love!!! I miss you so much!!!!!!!"

My heart broke as I read. Hundreds of prayerful posts flooded Bobby’s page and I sat at my desk and cried for a friend I lost and a man I had never met.

I worked with Judy the day before her stroke. I had come up to bond a young man out of jail on Halloween. Judy and I have dealt with the lowest of lows when it comes to people. It comes with the territory. For some reason we began talking about people and our jobs working with people that are in jail. I had told her I respected how good she was to people coming in and out of the system and she said something that I will never forget.

"Leave people better than you found them," she said with a smile.

I enjoyed working with Judy and will remember her as someone who showed the love of Jesus every day in her life.

I went home shortly after lunch and walked in the house and went straight for Ronda. I grabbed her tightly, kissed her and said, "I love you."

We never know when the end will come, but we have the opportunity every day to live thankfully.

I’m thankful for what Judy taught me and for the opportunity to have met someone with such a kind spirit.

My prayers go out to her family and friends.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving.

 

KWIBS - From November 12, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Sflingprall....

I just made that word up. Feel free to use it.

It’s a new word that Kansas should appreciate. It’s not spring, it’s not fall it’s "Sflingprall."

Recent weather trends have us averaging close to 60 degree weather for November. It should be 47-50 degrees by all accounts.

This strange, warm, dry weather is playing havoc on my wardrobe. I haven’t put the T-shirts, shorts and sandals away and I can’t get to my sweatshirts and pants during the cooler evenings. I just keep all-weather clothes in my truck and change several times a day back and forth.

If I wear shoes and socks, my feet are on fire all day and if I wear sandals my feet are freezing in the morning.

Oh and "Happyhallowturkmas". I almost forgot. I’m tired of all the holidays getting crammed together beginning mid-October. Joey was home from Hays on October 28th and called me from Great Bend to wish me a Merry Christmas. Their city already had up their decorations and it wasn’t even Halloween yet.

Speaking of Christmas, thank Jesus the elections are finally over. It’s bittersweet for a newspaper guy. We love the advertising and increase in paper sales, but it’s a lot of stinking work! I was here on election night until just before midnight putting in results on the internet. People hammered the website to see local results. With all of the action, I accidently had a husband and wife competing for the same township position. I caught my mistake and corrected it before too many people saw that.

I made predictions on every election privately to my friends and family. I nailed every one of those predictions. The one election surprise for me was seeing over 3,200 people in Barber County come out to vote. That was pretty amazing.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 5, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Tomorrow our nation decides the all important issue of who the president will be.

Because of the process and Electoral College, our individual vote for president won’t matter much in Kansas. That decision has been all but made for us. We’re a red state.

On a more close to home race, we will be deciding on issues like who one of our next county commissioners will be, who will represent us in the House of Representatives, state representative, a senator and congressmen and our next county sheriff will also be determined tomorrow.

I’ve got my favorites, as you probably do too. The issues are clear for me and I am not an "undecided" voter. As for President, you are either for Obama or against him. I’m not exactly sure who is actually "for" Romney more than they are against Obama. That being said, I am against Obama and not afraid to tell you. His policies have and will continue to hurt small businesses like mine and I have to vote against him. The jury is out for me on Romney. He gives the appearance of pro-business, but only time will tell - if he is elected. It is important that whoever is elected balance the budget, create jobs and protect our country’s national interests at home and abroad.

Locally, I have interest in several races. So what’s my opinion on the commissioners’ race for District Three? Neither candidate is from Medicine Lodge nor has an interest in it. It’s unfortunate that the largest city in the county will only have one commissioner with a Medicine Lodge address seated at the commissioners’ table. The options for representation are Bill Smith from Hardtner and Paul Cox from rural Sun City. As a losing primary candidate myself, I have mixed feelings about the winner of this race. I can only hope that whoever wins will consider that the majority of the population is from Medicine Lodge and represents them accordingly.

Several mailers from the Republican Party (my party...) have likened Representative Vince Wetta (D) to Obama and maybe even the devil himself. I’ve been super disappointed in the attack ads at this level. I expect more from my party and from my representatives in the Kansas House. I’ve had multiple opportunities to meet Vince and ask him questions. He’s not promoting Obama’s agenda and as far as I can tell, not supporting the devil.... Even though the mailers didn’t say that, they could have. Candidates should run on their merits, not tear down or misrepresent their opponent’s record.

One candidate is on the ballot for Barber County Sheriff. Justin Rugg won the primary in August. He is a current Deputy for the department and the county’s K9 handler. The primary election decided between 4 Republican candidates in August. In recent weeks J.C Stevenson, one of those candidates, made known his intentions to now run as a write in candidate.

It’s no secret that I am friends with Justin Rugg. I know him better than most people ever will. He’s a good man and will serve with integrity. Outside of our friendship, I can tell you that his work as a deputy has been outstanding for this county. I’m the area’s bondsman and I see the work of law enforcement in our communities and have no problem identifying him as one of the hardest working people in law enforcement in our area. Justin is young, has a family and a vested interest in Barber County. He does his job and does it well even when it means that some people will not like the outcome of his job. Many of these very people are supporting Stevenson with signs in their front yards.

Mr. Stevenson is also a fine officer and has a long, commendable career. He is twice retired and even though he has stated in campaign materiels that he would work as long as he was capable if written in, the truth is, long-term vision and leadership is what is necessary to protect citizens and property in the county.

What people really get to do on Tuesday, November 6th is to exercise their freedom. This freedom has come with a cost. I remember and thank those who have served our country to protect this freedom. My hope is that you consciously and prayerfully cast your vote and that you have made the issues known and educated yourself on who will best represent you on Tuesday, and for many years to come.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 29, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I watched the Presidential debate last Tuesday. I was not very impressed with either candidate.

Both candidates offer little in real solutions, but as an undecided voter I will not vote for more hope and change. I have a "write-in" in mind, but I’ve always felt that writing in someone’s name is simply a protest vote. The Electoral College leaves little choice for Kansas voters. We’re a very Red State.

Thursday of last week was probably the windiest day in Kansas I have ever experienced. It is definitely the windy season with the election just around the corner..... I ran over 3 election signs on my way to lunch that were swirling around on the four lane.

Heading north for home, I experienced something I’ve only seen a few times in my lifetime - zero visibility due to dirt. It was only a short distance, but for a minute I just couldn’t see anything.

I’ve heard some of the old timers compare our recent drought situation to that of the 30s. Some actual statistics have us even dryer than in those times. Good conservation practices are the only thing that separates us from those days.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 8, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

My youngest son, Nicholas, pulled an 1898 Silver Dollar out of his treasure chest and said to me, "Someday, this will be worth a ton of money!"

I laughed.

Nicholas said, "What? What are you laughing at?"

I thought for a moment and then decided he was old enough to handle the truth.

"It’s fake," I confessed.

He was nearly crushed.

In the book "Wild at Heart", Author John Eldredge writes, "The recipe for fun is pretty simple raising boys: add to any activity an element of danger, stir in a little exploration, add a dash of destruction, and you’ve got yourself a winner."

I believe it was in the spring of 2008, Nicholas was only 10 years old and we took him with us to Amarillo, TX on vacation during his spring break. Our friends Dale and Michele McCurdy live in Amarillo and their boys are close to Nicholas’ age, one just a year older and one a year younger.

Dale set up a day for the whole family (girls included) to go to Palo Duro Canyon to go hiking and artifact hunting.

Dale and I had planned out the adventure part a few hours earlier. While serving in Afghanistan, Dale had acquired several counterfeit silver dollars from the late 1800s. They were pretty good fakes, at least good enough to fool any 10-year-old.

We gave the silver dollars to his oldest son Blake and asked him to go ahead of us and scatter some on the trail where we were hiking. All along the hike we told the boys stories about bank robbers and the posses who chased them up the canyon, gunfights and bloodshed.

Soon enough the boys stumbled onto the coins and went crazy when they found the "booty" from the bank robbery from the story they just heard.

Yes, we made the whole thing up and I had managed to keep it a secret from Nick for 4 years.

Nick was half laughing and half mad when he asked me, "Why would you do this to me?"

The answer was simple: to create an adventure; one that he would never forget. That, and I have a tendency to be a prankster.

"But dad, I have told that story to so many people," he said. "The whole thing was just made up! I thought I was going to be rich off that coin someday!"

I said, "I know, I’m just saving you from the embarrassment of you walking into a pawn shop one day when I am gone and find out that it’s counterfeit and worth nothing. I’d rather tell you the truth now, than you find out we made it up after I am dead and gone."

He thought about it for a while and we both laughed and thought about the fun we had that day. Then he got really serious.

"Dad, you know that from like 5th grade on, I wrote countless essays in school about that day and about the bank robbers and the money?"

That’s when we really started laughing!

Have a great week.

KWIBS - From September 24, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

As promised, here are the details of the newest addition to our family! Baylee Aleece Schaffer made her grand entrance into the world last Monday, September 17, 2012. She was born at PRMC at 7:25 a.m. and was 20" long and weighed 7 lbs 1.25 oz. She was born with thick hair, long fingers and toes and is the most beautiful baby ever born! (my opinion of course, but backed up by many witnesses.)

Breeann, Devin, and Baylee came home on Wednesday and are settling in just fine. Baylee’s big brother stayed with K-Pa and Mema for a few days and is also back at home. By the looks of this photo, I think Kycen wants to keep her!

KWIBS - From September 17, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Something big happens today. By the time you read this, I will be a grandpa again. My daughter Breeann was scheduled for a c-section early this morning in Pratt.

Nine months in the making, Baylee Aleece Schaffer made her entrance into the world. I may be hard to reach for a couple of days because cell service on cloud 9 doesn’t have 4G yet.

It’s weird writing about an event that hasn’t happened. I keep wondering what will she look like, will her big brother like her, will she like me? I’m sure she’ll be beautiful, like her Mom Breeann, like her Mema Ronda, like her Mother Barbara and her Mother Mildred and so on. I bet Kycen likes her too. And I’m guessing she’ll think I’m alright. Kycen will convince her if not.

You can count on a photo next week.

By the way, thank God for some rain!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 10, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Two weeks in a row now that I am ranting on something concerning schools. Thankfully, this time I am ranting about another school.

Last Friday evening the Medicine Lodge Indian Football Team traveled to Wichita to play the Independent Panthers.

First, let me tell you that I know nothing about their school system or policies. This column in only an observation made while at their campus last Friday.

Independent is located on the east side of town, not far from many gated communities. I like this part of town, there’s lots of fancy restaurants and a nice mall and a lot of nicer stores in this part of town. It’s fun to go there and have the selections that we don’t get here in good old Medicine Lodge.

We got to the game just before 7 p.m. "Panther Parking" caused us to have quite a walk, which didn’t hurt us after eating way too much at Bonefish Grille, near the waterfront.

As we made our way to our side of the field I made a special note that there were two armed Wichita Police Officers posted on Medicine Lodge’s side. I jokingly said, "that’s in case us folks from the sticks get out of hand."

I had heard grumblings earlier in the day that school officials from Independent called our school and told us that we could not grill out for our team and feed them, but we could visit their concessions stands as they announced at least 50 times that night. Another noticeable difference between our schools was a Papa John’s Pizza trailer parked right outside of the endzone.

It was a tough night for the Indians. The game was brutal and we didn’t do so good, but that didn’t stop a large group of fans and parents from traveling the distance to watch their Indians play football. For many of us, it was still important to go support the team, even though just hours earlier their coach cancelled the Junior Varsity game in Medicine Lodge scheduled for Tuesday, September 4th for reasons unknown.

So, we took a beating for nearly 3 quarters when the unthinkable happened. Our Quarterback Scott Beecher took a hit and was injured on the field recovering a fumble. As so many times kids playing this sport are injured, we waited for coaches and staff to check him out before moving him. It became obvious after several minutes that he needed emergency care.

There were no ambulances on the field. The two armed police officers did nothing until the announcer asked if there was a doctor in the crowd. Slowly they made their way to the center of the field and called an ambulance. It was almost 25 minutes before sirens could be heard. The ambulance made its way across the campus, but was unable to get anywhere near the field.

You know who responded first? It was our own EMTs from Medicine Lodge who just happened to be in the crowd.

I got more and more frustrated as I watched. At one point I even commented, "If we were in Medicine Lodge, we could have transported every player on the field, one at a time, to the hospital in the amount of time it took to get an ambulance here."

After this incident, Independent and the City of Wichita will need to reevaluate their emergency preparedness plan for their school. Thankfully, this wasn’t a life or death situation for one of our high school football players, but it was urgent enough that he should have been transported in a timely manner.

I’m sorry that I am coming down hard on Independent and Wichita’s emergency services, but it’s a great opportunity to point out what a great community we have when it comes to emergency services. .

Every home game, look to the north of the field. You’ll notice that we have an ambulance at every game. Some times there are even EMTs in the crowd. These folks are there to make sure that if someone gets hurt, home team or visitor, they will get the attention they need immediately.

So often I hear, "Medicine Lodge doesn’t have this, or that." So what.... What Medicine Lodge does have is invaluable when it comes to emergency care. Look at our volunteer fire departments, hospital staff, EMTs, Police and Sheriff’s Departments. They are full of skilled people who respond quickly to emergencies. We even have teachers and administrators that are first responders! I’ll take that over the Bonefish Grille at the Waterfront any day of the week.

By the way, Scott is doing ok. We wish him the best in his recovery. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 3, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

One change I noticed this year at parents’ night was a plea from Principal Honas to not be "mad at the cooks" over the food served to our kids.

New federal standards this year require schools to serve more nutritious meals. That means more fruit and vegetables and fewer carbohydrates, a school lunch standard that fills kids up. The new lunch standards, introduced in January by First Lady Michelle Obama under the Healthy, Hunger Free Kids Act, will has been implemented. The standards were created to help fight childhood obesity throughout the nation.

Trust me, the kids are aware of the change and they are not happy about it.

"I was starving by football practice," Nick told me as he woofed down a foot-long from Subway after school, followed by everything in my refrigerator that evening.

And calorie count is down too. The suggested solution? Send some snacks to school with your kids or have lunch delivered, but don’t have it delivered in the "Pizza Hut" or "Taco-Tico" packaging. That’s against the rules. Thankfully, our teachers and administrators know that what our children are being served is just not enough to sustain them throughout the day.

It’s not our administration’s fault. This decision comes from the top, or at least right under the top. When Michelle Obama moved into the White House, she decided to take up the cause of combating childhood obesity. It's an epidemic that affects up to one-third of all children in the U.S., but not mine.

My son is 14 and doesn’t have an ounce of fat on him, but that’s because he lifts weights early in the morning and has a vigorous football practice in the evening. He needs a good 3000-4000 calory-a-day diet to keep him alive at his pace. The school’s 750 calory lunch just doesn’t suffice.

No one denies our children need to have a healthy diet, but it’s not the government’s place to decide the menu for my growing son. I’m tired of having the government powers that be tell me how to raise my family and what they should eat. Good little automatons will eat their 1/2 cup of fruit with gusto, because to disobey is inconceivable. Parents welcome the nanny state, it absolves them of responsibility. "Eat your vegetables or I'll tell Michelle Obama" is the 21st century replacement for "wait until your father gets home." Hopefully, there was a father at home....

What’s next folks? Will I walk in to the Truck Stop and order the big "Western Breakfast" and get three grapes, some whole wheat toast and egg whites? Lord knows I could use to drop a few pounds, but I’m not interested in the government’s intrusion into even that portion of my life.

Wednesday night, between snarfing down a plate of enchiladas and watching the Republican National Convention, Nicholas said, "I hope they win so we can go back to a decent school lunch." If only it were just that simple.

 

KWIBS - From August 27, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

No, it’s not an elaborate prank cooked up by the newspaper publisher as a cruel April Fools joke on the community.

This time capsule is for real. I saw it with my own eyes and handled many of the contents.

Dr. Pete Meador called me on Sunday afternoon and told me about a time capsule that had been unearthed during construction of the addition the Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital.

My thoughts immediately went back to a fake article I ran when our newspaper print date fell on April 1st. I wrote that a time capsule, similar in nature was unearthed in the parking lot of the courthouse. My prank concluded with the article inviting the public to view the capsule and its contents in the courthouse.

I got a few sneers over that practical joke, but it became a legend of "best pranks of all-times" in my circle of friends, which includes Pete, so you can obviously understand my skepticism when he called me to tell me the news of this find.

"Sure they found a time capsule Pete," I must have said.

I even got an email later that evening from Kevin White, Hospital Administrator, inviting me to see the box and take pictures. I thought that was a nice touch to the possible prank that was being played on me.

Tuesday morning, camera in hand and pride out on my sleeve, I went to the hospital expecting a big group of people lined up to laugh at me for falling for my own past joke, but it didn’t happen that way. Instead, there was the box with the contents, weathered, but still there. I saw photos and church programs and document after document of Medicine Lodge history that had been covered for more than 60 years; nearly 20 years before I was even born.

It was very cool. It made me think of the pride in our community that was so many years ago and think about how we have the opportunity to be proud of something again. Mr. Clarke’s challenge to us as a community should be taken seriously. It’s not just a challenge to pledge money for this project, but it’s also a chance for us to join together to do something good for our community, just like citizens did in the late 1940s. Let’s come together and meet this challenge!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 20, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

They grow up so fast. One day they’re needing help reaching a toy on a shelf, the next day you are putting their belongings on a shelf in their dorm rooms.

Several parents, including Ronda and I, said good-bye to our kids and dropped them off at college last week. Ronda and I took Joey to Fort Hays State University on Thursday. It was a bittersweet moment to see this change in his life.

I’m proud of you Joey. This is how I will always see you!

KWIBS - From August 13, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

You can’t help but watch the Olympics, at least you can’t at my house because I get home later than everyone else and I can’t find the remote to change it.

I’m not anti-Olympics, I just get bored with at after 2 hours. Last Wednesday I got home at around 9 p.m. and my entire family was watching the Olympics. I was halfway watching and playing on my iPad at the same time. While glancing down I missed the winner of one of the female hurdle events.

I asked, "Who won?"

Ronda pointed, "That girl!"

I’m like, "Which girl?"

She said, "She is Russian."

I said, "I bet she was. She was trying to win the race...."

(If you don’t get it, read it again slowly....)

And how about Tomas Gonzalez? Seriously, what is up with his arms when he does the horse? I think it might be counterbalance to offset his mustache. Are they not really attached and just flopping around when he’s running?

This is a dumb fact, but I found it interesting. One hundred years ago the 1912 Greco-Roman wrestling match in Stockholm between Finn Alfred Asikainen and Russian Martin Klein lasted more than 11 hours. Klein eventually won but was too exhausted to participate in the championship match so he settled for the silver.

At least I wouldn’t have been subjected to watching it on TV if I had lived back in that time.

? ? ? ?

The Primary Election is behind us.

I for one, am happy that it’s over, but obviously disappointed that I didn’t win to represent District 3 in Barber County as a Commissioner.

Tuesday night my family and friends huddled in my office as we waited for results. Before I even knew what they were, I had satisfaction in knowing that no matter what, on Wednesday, I was still going to be all the things I campaigned as: A husband, a father, a grandfather; third generation newspaper publisher, business and job creator, property owner and taxpayer.

There was no doubt that I wanted to bring those experiences and offer a new perspective to the board of county commissioners, but it wasn’t my time.

Campaigning is hard work and elections are not fun. This is what I learned from this process. I also learned that despite trying to educate people, they will still have many misconceptions about your reason for running and about who you are.

My favorite misconception came while doing some door-to-door in the final days of the campaign. I stopped at a home and spoke with a husband and wife who did offer their support, but warned that many wouldn’t vote for me because my only objective was to build a new hospital.

It struck me odd that people would think that. I do support the hospital projects, but it wasn’t high on my campaign priority list. The hospital issue is a "dead horse" issue. No need to keep beating it. The PBC has met, bonds have been ordered, sold and money has been allocated. Architects have been consulted, contractors are here and ground breaks next week. No commissioner elected now or in the future has any say so in that event.

Knowledge is power and those who choose not to educate themselves and get the facts from the sources, rather than on the street, will continue to hold us back as a city, county and country....

Looking forward, I wish the winners of the Primary Election the best and pray that priority be placed on moving our county ahead, not holding it back. A great responsibility has become entrusted to you.

Thank you to each of you for your vote and support. It was a very humbling experience that I will never forget.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 30, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda and I spent last Wednesday with our oldest son on a college road trip.

We went to Ft. Hays State University where we spent the day enrolling Joey.

Many of you know Joey from White’s Foodliner. He’s been working there for over two years. He’s probably carried your groceries to the car or helped you find an item in the store.

After graduating from high school, Joey took "time off" from school. He saved his money and took a trip out to New York, went to California and finally to Europe. He came home broke and went back to work with plans to save his money and return to being a student this fall.

We couldn’t be prouder to see him preparing for the next chapter in his life. Joey, for now, will pursue a degree in criminal justice and live in the dorms and experience college life. At semester, he’ll be broke again and need to find work!

It makes me a little sad to see him leave, but I know he’s got a good foundation and has goals he wants to achieve in life. Joey is my second child and first son to leave the home.

Just as Joey is moving away, my daughter and her husband have returned to Medicine Lodge. Breeann, Devin and Kycen are waiting for their new addition to the family. We are expecting a granddaughter on Monday, September 17. (Yep, got it all scheduled unless the good Lord wants her here earlier!).

We’ll also have Nicholas to keep our lives interesting. He’s going to be a Freshmen at MLHS and is very involved in sports. It’s fascinating how life changes so quickly. I treasure every moment of my children’s lives.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 16, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Transparent and open - that’s what governments are supposed to be.

Last Monday I went to Hutchinson Community College and I attended panel discussion on KORA (Kansas Open Meetings Act) and KOMA (Kansas Open Records Act).

The event was hosted by the Kansas Attorney General’s Office, KS Press Association and The Sunshine Coalition.

It’s not a big secret that I am running for an elected office and I felt it was important to brush up on some of the rules and see if much had changed.

I’ve been to a lot of meetings like these in the past and didn’t expect to learn much, but found that this discussion was an entirely different discussion on the subject of open meetings.

Much of the perspective was from the elected person’s point of view. There were several registers of deeds, county clerks and city and county officials at the meeting. What I learned is: most of the time, violations that occur in breaking open meetings rules are simply accidental. Nothing sinister was involved in the violation.

However, the occasional rule breaking does happen when officials try to "do business in the dark,", but generally it is a "tripping over the dog - not kicking the dog" scenario.

Whether or not I become an elected official, it is my responsibility to keep up on the laws that govern open meetings and open records. As Abe Lincoln said, "government of the people, by the people, for the people. This has come to symbolize the definition of democracy itself.

? ? ? ?

Thursday evening I went to Hardtner to speak in a candidate forum at the senior center. I’ve been so impressed with the turnout of people who come and have taken an interest. I remember going to things like this (just as a reporter) and only seeing a few people attend, but people are owning their government and taking part in the voting process.

? ? ? ?

I wanted to take up a few lines to congratulate John and Barbara Hagood on the new pharmacy. It is beautiful!

They are slowly getting organized and finding their rhythm again. The store is amazing and if you haven’t been there, you should stop by. Even if you are healthy!

I also want to welcome (re)new Medicine Lodge residents Breeann and Devin Schaffer and their son (my grandson) Kycen! It’s good to have you guys home in Medicine Lodge!

 

KWIBS - From July 9, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

In a landmark decision, our Supreme Court of the land upheld the congress-passed, president-signed mandate to force everyone to buy health insurance or face a "tax" by the IRS.

Now, I don’t understand all of the details, but I do understand this: "The government can now order you to purchase anything or tax you if you don’t," said.... NO FOUNDING FATHER. EVER!

I know there are very good provisions in the health care reform act and I know that everyone has a fundamental right to care, but this reform has more problems than fixes.

As we reform, we do dumber and dumber things with health care like: adding millions more to the health care system without adding any new doctors. Or things like......

Working mothers now get a more appropriate place for expressing breast milk than they had before. Employers must provide "a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from co-workers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express breast milk."

Nursing mothers also can take "reasonable" breaks during the workday to express milk, as frequently as the mother needs.

You think your wait in line at McDonalds was long. Just wait. Under the law, you would walk into a fast food joint and see calories listed under every menu item -- Big Mac (540 calories), McNuggets (10 pieces- 470 calories) and medium fries (380 calories).

"Let’s see... (getting out my calculator)... I’ll take 4.5 McNuggets and 2 French Fries for a total of....."

Oh, if you plan on visiting a tanning booth, plan on paying a 10% tax each time you visit. I’m waiting for congress to tax sun light next.

The good news: Mammograms, physical exams, colonoscopies, vaccinations -- these are among the preventive care services that will be fully covered by insurance companies. You just might have to wait 6 months to a year after scheduling one.

Have you ever been confused by the language in health insurance plans? Well be confused no more!

The health reform law requires health insurers and health plans to provide concise and understandable information about the plan and its benefits. According to the Health and Human Services press release, "The new rules will also make it easier for people and employers to directly compare one plan to another."

It only took 2,700 pages of easy-to-understand law to get that accomplished.

But one of my favorite lines in this reform has been "reduce fraud."

Here’s one way we are doing it.

Congress just announced that a $77-million computer system put in place last summer to combat Medicare fraud had saved taxpayers a grand total of $7,591 through the end of the year.

Woo-Hoo!

With returns like this, the computer system would easily pay for itself in, oh....... a few thousand years. Go ahead and write this investment off as a loss.

Here’s to your health!

 

KWIBS - From July 2, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

For Christmas last year, Ronda asked me for an inversion table.

Her back had been bothering her and we had borrowed Steve and Suellen Bryan’s inversion table. Ronda was instantly hooked, so I started shopping around and reading the reviews.

So we bought this torture-looking device that you lock your ankles into and hang upside down sometime in mid-December. I brought the heavy box into the living room with the help of one of the boys and there it sat for about 3 months. Eventually, Ronda got one of the boys to help her haul it downstairs where it remained until last week.

I was so out of whack. My back was hurting and I just couldn’t get relief.

I asked, "Hey, where’s that contraption I bought you for Christmas?"

Ronda said, "I had Joey help me take it downstairs and we put it behind the couch since you never put it together for me."

Shame overwhelmed me. Had I really procrastinated for almost 7 months?

So I got motivated (pain will do that for you) and we headed downstairs to get the inversion table.

"This thing is heavier than I remember," I told my wife, who was struggling to help me get it back upstairs.

After a few minutes of groaning, huffing and puffing, we had it back upstairs in the light where I could take a look at what we had. I opened the box and I let out a gasp. This thing was broken down into the simplest form. I swear to God it was nearly molecular in nature.

I felt every last ounce of patience slipping away from me as piece after piece was removed from its shrink wrapped sarcophagus.

This project was not for the faint of heart or for anyone suffering from back pain. I needed pain medicine, possibly a stiff drink and a Ph.D. to put this thing together.

Ronda and I spent the next two hours grumbling and sighing while completing 24 steps of 56 parts to completion. No wait, Ronda graciously held the parts while I did the grumbling and sighing and she talked me through a couple of the steps.

Merry Christmas Sweetheart!

? ? ? ?

Congratulations to Doug and Liz Hanna on their recent marriage over the weekend. They made it official! Liz has been writing for us for about a year now and you will remember her as Liz Glomb.

? ? ? ?

Even being as hot and dry as it is, we live in a beautiful area. Ronda and I recently returned from a trip through New Mexico and down into El Paso, Texas where we saw some mountains, but mostly desert. When we got back to Barber County, we had a new appreciation of the beauty we have here.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 25, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

We decided to "get away from it all" last week. Ronda and I loaded up the truck with 6 days worth of clothes and headed south towards El Paso, TX. Ronda’s dad lives there and we were going for a surprise party in his honor.

Leaving for 6 days from our office wouldn’t have been possible without Doris Sorg. She did the little things I do that make the big things happen, like getting the paper to press and uploaded to the Internet.

It was our first road trip of this kind in the 24 years we’ve been married. Our anniversary was Sunday, so we thought this would be the perfect get away.

We made it a point to pick our stops along the way and we did great sticking to our schedule. Our first stop was in Amarillo, TX to see friends Dale and Michele McCurdy and Bryan and Cindy Goucher. We went on to Santa Rosa, NM and spent the night, seeing the Blue Hole and cruising the old Route 66. On Friday, we stopped in every little village or community we could find between there and El Paso, TX with a stop at White Sands National Park. After two days in El Paso, we hit the road for Carlsbad, NM and pulled into the visitor’s center. I hit the trip meter and we’d gone 1120 miles since Thursday.

We put on some warmer clothes and headed one mile down a path, 750’ down under the surface. The caves were awesome, but nature was calling after a couple of bottles of water and I went looking for a bathroom.

It was Fathers’ Day and the place was packed. You stood in line for everything, but fortunately, the bathroom line was short. When I rounded the corner I ran smack dab into Mike Rutan from Medicine Lodge! I couldn’t hardly speak. What are the odds of running into someone from your home town so far away from home?

The Rutans had made a trek across the west which included pulling their Air Stream to the Grand Canyon and through Albuquerque, NM to see Kyle and DeDe Vick, which is Ronda’s brother, my in-laws. They actually came to El Paso and we were with the Vicks the day before.

When I came out of the bathroom, Ronda had found Christi and Izzy and their nephew Ben near the elevators. We had Ben take this photo of us. It almost looks like we were vacationing together.

  

So, we sort of "got away from it all", less the Rutans, which were welcome faces 750’ below the Earth’s surface!

On Sunday night we rolled into Roswell, NM. The nerd in me couldn’t resist seeing the UFO museum and alien artifacts from the legendary cover-ups from the 1947 UFO crash site near Area 51.

Ronda and I posed with some "cheesy" aliens and props at this visit. There was much eye-rolling coming from my wife’s direction, but I think she sort of enjoyed it.

This was a short stop along the way before going to Ft. Sumner, NM to see Billy The Kid’s grave and museum. This was one of our favorite stops along the way. They have a very nice museum and collection of old west items. The store is owned by a man who is a third generation owner of the family’s museum.

And I had to ask the owner of the museum if Billy The Kid was really killed by Pat Garrett in 1881. He assured me that he in fact did kill Billy The Kid and he was buried at their cemetery in Ft. Sumner.

Something odd had just happened in Ft. Sumner on Saturday. Vandals tipped over the grave marker of Billy The Kid and broke in to the town’s museum and stole two long rifles. Reward posters hung all over town for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the responsible parties. I would guess a lynching was about to occur! The town had repaired the damage to the museum by the time we got there on Monday.

Leaving Ft. Sumner mid-afternoon and on our way back to Amarillo, I called our friends Bryan and Cindy (Clarke) Goucher about having dinner with them.

Bryan was at work in Hereford and we made a plan to meet for dinner in Amarillo after we checked into our hotel. A couple of hours of travel put us through Hereford at about 5 p.m. and as we were cruising along the highway 45 minutes outside of Amarillo, a black Chevy truck screamed up beside us, honked and a guy started waving his hand at us. We looked closely and it was Bryan! Maybe not as much of a story as running into the Rutans, but it’s still very strange to run into people you know, so far away from home.

It’s not so far fetched, but when it happens it seems like Vegas odds. When I was younger I remember running into a classmate from Medicine Lodge in Boston, MA. Ronda reminded me of a time when she was traveling with our kids in Chicago, IL and she ran into Melvin Thompson at O’Hare. I also remember a time that we ran into Dan and Jean McKay while at the Houston, TX airport coming home from Mexico.

So, can you imagine what song was going through my head all the way home from this trip? "It’s a small world." And now it’s going through your head!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 18, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I went to the movies last weekend at the Pageant Drive-In Theater. It was the first movie I had seen at the theater this season.

A few weeks back I had gone to the movies in Pratt at the Barren. When I looked at the screen at Mike Sill’s drive-in, I couldn’t believe my eyes. This was the sharpest picture I had seen at a movie theater in a long time. The FM broadcast of the movie came across loud and clear in my truck. I had forgotten what a quality place we have right here in good ole’ Medicine Lodge.

This was quite the contrast to the Barren. When we went three weeks ago, the picture was dark and out of focus. This was in addition to the fact that the air conditioning was broken. I did complain to the folks up front, but it did no good.

It’s a shame that this could be the last season of the drive-in. I looked around and the place was packed for Men in Black, III. Families gathered in lawn chairs and children laughed and played in the very same place that I did as a kid growing up and going to the movies.

I commend Mike and Amy for the service they have provided to this community. I also pledge my support for their efforts to convert it to the digital upgrade necessary to keep it open.

If you haven’t been to the movies in a while, I encourage you to go out and see one of this summer’s blockbusters. Mike and Amy have been very timely on getting current movies and like I said earlier, the picture quality was incredible and if you have a decent FM radio in your car, you can hear it loud and clear.

My friend and former resident Kevin Colborn also commented on how cheap the concession stand was in comparison to theaters he goes to in Wichita.

So if you want good quality entertainment, right here in Medicine Lodge, why not go to the Pageant Drive-In. It could be your last chance to see a movie under the stars.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From June 11, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Putting me in a car for an extended period of time is like removing a baby from its mother’s womb and placing it on a cold metal table.

There will be whining and crying.

We’ll see how this goes, but for the first time in my adult life, I am going to pack up the truck and drive an 800 mile trek across the southwest. The destination is personal and a surprise for someone special.

We’ve done a lot of traveling, but rarely by auto. With our limited number of consecutive days off between publications, we’ve often chosen to travel by air. When we priced tickets and saw the limited number of destinations from local carriers, we decided to just take "a road trip."

This coming Sunday marks 24 years of marriage for Ronda and I. We rarely get a break from our hectic office and we will take a well deserved rest for several days and see some sites and be by ourselves. I’m looking forward to it! I love you sweetheart and look forward to a little time away with you. ;-)

The on-line edition for June 18 will take a break as well, since I won’t be here to do it. Our on-line flip page PDF viewer will be available. If you haven’t taken advantage of this, I urge you to try it out. We have over 100 subscribers now and the viewer allows you to get the newspaper as soon as it hits the streets, so no matter if you live in California or Medicine Lodge, you get the paper without delay! I want to thank Doris for filling in for me this next week and picking up part of my load!

? ? ? ?

My son Nicholas just got back from a football camp hosted by OU in Norman, OK. We are so proud of him for going.

He and Caden Rusk attended the camp. During the three day event, the boys got to meet and be coached by NFL players and top coaches across the region. Nicholas called on Friday to say, "Dad, I just shook hands with a former Dallas Cowboy’s linebacker and he was wearing a Superbowl Ring!"

I told him that he "must have been retired for quite a while!" Zinger! And I’m actually a Cowboy’s fan.

I wanted to thank Clay Rusk for taking the boys down for this once-in-a-lifetime chance to be trained by some of the best in the industry.

? ? ? ?

Finally, I received an anonymous letter in the mail last week. I won’t give any of the details about the concerns in this letter. It is my belief that anyone who doesn’t have the courage to put their name to something, isn’t worth the time or trouble to respond to. If you would like to come in to the office, I would be more than happy to address your issues and concerns.

? ? ? ?

Father’s Day is Sunday. The paragraph above reminds me of my father. He always gave me practical advice about doing the right thing when dealing with people. He hated anonymous letters. Most newspaper people do. If you don’t have the courage to put your name to it, it shows your character or lack thereof.

Many of you may not know, but my dad suffers from severe dementia. He just turned 66 a couple of weeks ago. He has struggled for many years with his speech and reasoning and now is in long term care in Attica, KS. His condition has worsened over the past month.

He’s not the witty newspaper man that many of you remember, but he’s still my dad.

He made amends for his wrongs when he first understood that his mind was leaving him to disease. He recognized that he was not the perfect father, as none of us are. He also made me realize that I was not the perfect son either. He taught me many other very valuable lessons throughout my life, even when I wasn’t trying to learn them.

He was the best dad he could be.

I love him and my heart breaks seeing him struggle to communicate and do the simplest of basic functions. I choose to remember him during the good times, forgive the bad times and accept life as it is for him. I’m grateful to the kind people in Attica who are treating him with respect and dignity and caring for him.

I would like to end with this quote from Charles Wadworth:

"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

Have a great week.

 

KWIBS - From May 28, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

It’s part of a story that we didn’t cover in the paper. When I say "part", I just left it out. I left it out because one of the guys asked me to.

Now it’s fair game and he can’t be angry for telling you about it and maybe you actually heard the story.

On March 8, 2012 David Colborn and Josh Graham, MLFD volunteers, entered the burning apartment complex and risked their personal safety to rescue people trapped inside.

Neither really wanted the recognition, but the city has made a proclamation honoring these two guys and I am so glad they did.

For weeks I’ve wanted to tell my readers of their heroics, but promised I wouldn’t. I don’t really feel like I am breaking the promise since the city paid for a proclamation on page 8 of this week’s Premiere.

A partial quote from this proclamation reads:

 

WHEREAS, with no regard to their own safety, David and Josh went to the aid of others, and;

WHEREAS, by valiantly racing against time, David and Josh did rescue two residents from smoke and fire, and;

WHEREAS, by way of David and Josh’s heroism, we do see the greatness within our community, and;

WHEREAS, the City of Medicine Lodge will be forever grateful to David and Josh for their bravery in the early morning hours of March 8th, 2012.

The community is proud of you guys.

? ? ? ?

As this community recognizes the selfless act of others, we also mourn the loss of one of our own friends and businessmen.

Laurn Cope was critically injured and passed away last week. He was doing what he always did - work. Laurn was just one of those guys who you had to like. I found this photo of him as I searched my archives. It was from Halloween last year. I’m pretty sure he was successful of getting smiles out of everyone on Main Street during the parade. Here’s one more time to smile because of Laurn.

KWIBS - From May 21, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I wanted to apologize to Deb Wesley and her ladies at the Clerk’s office for unintentionally beating them up last week with my "new countertops" comment.

You guys did deserve new counters and my point wasn’t supposed to be against that. It was to state that Home Health was not a priority for Barber County.

The power of the pen can sometimes be a stinger when the meaning wasn’t fully expressed.

My grandpa and my dad both used to say, "Don’t get into an argument with a person who buys his ink in 55 gallon drums."

I would also say, "Be careful how many ladies you offend in one office at a time! "

Smiles girls. :)

KWIBS - From May 14, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Somewhere as humans, citizens of our county, we dropped the ball on a vital service.

In a last ditch effort to save it, Home Health was neatly discarded (sold) late 2011. It was passed on to someone else to give it a whirl.

It failed this past week and now the doors are closed for good.

As a county, we can have "special funds" to allow for capital improvements and purchasing things like new counter tops and windows, but we can’t find the money to help take care of our elderly. We can’t find the resources or management needed to keep a service like Home Health going in our community. It’s no wonder many older people have to move away.

It’s sad and one of many complex problems we face.

 

KWIBS - From May 7, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Our area has been getting a lot of press in recent weeks and months over the impending oil-boom.

I had heard rumors at the courthouse that even Diane Sawyer’s office was interested in doing a peice on our area. Betty Jo Swayden said that someone had called her office and I told her how I would have responded.... She said, "Why didn’t I think of that!?!"

I finally got the chance. Friday of last week a fellow by the name of Daniel called me from ABC News. He was a producer from Diane Sawyer's office and wanted to know if I knew of someone from our area who had a "rags to riches" story they could cover. Apparently, news of our "hitting it big" has hit the Big Apple news circuit.

I said, "Well, there's Jed."

He said, "Yes, go on. Tell me more about Jed."

Oh my... I couldn’t beleive he was going along with this.

I said, ".....Was a poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed......"

You know the rest.

Funny thing was, the guy didn't catch on for the longest time. I bet I rattled off half the song.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 23, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Several years ago "Frosty" Wayne Sill promised me that I could peek inside the Pastime Movie Theater. He warned me that "it was bad."

I never got that chance before Frosty died, so when I heard Doris was going down to do an interview with Wanda and Linda, I tagged along hoping to see inside the theater.

It had been 30 years since I saw my last flick there. Time has not been on her side, but so many memories came rushing back to my mind.

Restoring the theater is a worthy cause. It will be no easy task, but it’s an opportunity to really come together as a community. It’s in the early planning stages and will take a lot of time and a lot of money, but isn’t Medicine Lodge worth rebuilding? Thank you for the sneak peek!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 16, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve had the opportunity over the past couple of weeks to see first hand the economic impact being made as a result of the Flat Ridge 2 Wind Farm and the local oil boom.

Wednesday, April 4 Ronda and I went to Harper where we ate lunch with officials from British Petroleum’s Wind Division and officials from Sempra.

Governor Sam Brownback was there too and he was very encouraged at the growth of our counties.

It’s exciting to see progress in our area and to know that we are just at the beginning of a good period of economic growth for our area. It’s been a long time coming. Our communities have seen a steady decline in population and valuations. If not for companies like BP, Shell, Sandridge, Osage and Chesapeake, we would probably continue on a steady decline.

I’ve always credited local oil operators for being the backbone and base of our local economy. They are equally as important to the economic growth as the companies I’ve listed above, so please don’t think I don’t appreciate the importance of their contribution.

Thursday was an interesting day. Early in the week I received an email from Edward Cross, the President of the Kansas Oil and Gas Association. He invited me to tag along with him and Senator Pat Roberts and Mel Thompson on a tour of Osage’s horizontal rig west of Medicine Lodge. I, in turn, invited my wife to tag along with me as my copilot.

We met Mel and the Senator at Casey’s and did quick introductions with other media members before caravaning out to the fracking site some 45 minutes away. It was mostly dirt roads and since it had been raining, it was muddy!

I realize I have been beating this horse to death, but the oil industry is going to be good for us in Barber County. We have to look this gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. We have the opportunity for growth for many years to come, but we have to seize the moment. We need planning and we need it now. If the growth in the south part of the county is any indication of what is to come, we must get ready and be proactive and not reactive.

From everything I’ve learned by visiting the people in the industry, I come away with the same realization each time. They want to work with us and they want to help with being a part of the solution. We need to work with them, communicate with them and appreciate what they bring to our area.

Ronda and I want to thank Ben Crouch, Robert Murdock, Edward Cross, and Steve Stanfield for the tour. I also want to thank and recognize Senator Pat Roberts and Mel Thompson for taking the time and showing interest and support in our county during this time of economic growth.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 9, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

"Set your phasers on fun!" said the speaker at my very first and last Star Trek convention in 1994.

I just have a need inside me to show people what a nerd I can be. I remember quite well my wife taking me to Wichita to the Star Trek convention where everyone but us was dressed as their favorite Vulcan or Klingon.

I grew up with Star Trek and I forced it upon my family. By the time my daughter was three years old she could recite: "Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It’s five year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldy go where no man has gone before."

We thought it was cute at the time. Now it’s just creepy.

As we walked around the convention center in 1994, my wife’s eyes continued to roll. She said, "How could there be this many nerds gathered in one place?"

She was right. If a bomb had gone off there, no one would have had anyone to repair a personal computer in the future and there would be many mothers with empty basements.

I was actually stunned that there were people that were bigger nerds than I was. I mean, I didn’t even think of dressing up for the event.

But here’s a group of geeks that actually know how to make fun of themselves. There were lots of jokes flying around about Trekkie things. I remember this one joke told by Mirna Sirtis who played Counselor Troy on The Next Generation (oh Lord, here I go again showing everyone how nerdy I am.....)

Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Commander Riker and Data were on the bridge of the Enterprise. It was an uneventful day, though tensions with the Klingon empire had been high of late.

Suddenly, Data calls out ''Captain. Klingon Bird of Prey decloaking ahead of us.''

Picard gives a tug on his tunic and says '' It's a good thing, Will, that command wears red.

That way, if we are wounded, the color of the uniform will disguise it and morale won't be affected by it.''

Riker was about to reply when Data called out again... ''Captain. Sensors indicate fifty Klingon Battlecruisers decloaking directly astern.''

Riker looks at Picard and says ''I’ll be in my ready-room putting on my brown corduroy trousers.''

Ah... Live long and prosper fellow nerds!

On a side note: we are having problems with our online flip viewer. The problem is on our end and we are working to resolve it. Watch www.gyphillpremiere.com for more information on our progress. We hope to have it resolved this week. Thanks for your patience!

 

KWIBS - From April 2, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I had lots of column writers this week and got shorted on space. Sometimes that’s just fine.

I want to wish you all a Happy Easter from our family to yours. Remember we’re celebrating the ultimate in forgiveness.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 26, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I got a personal invite to see what Shell Corporation calls "Arrowhead Station" on Friday, March 16. This "station" is the first horizontal well that Shell and their contractor have drilled in Harper County. With optimism, this will be one of many horizontal wells drilled in Harper County and the beginning of many more in the 7 counties that they are operating in South Central Kansas, including Barber County.

Special thanks to Crystal, Mark, Teresa, Scott and "Bamma" for the great tour! This is an amazing operation. First let me say Shell and the other big operators are good for our local economy. However, I do not want to leave out recognizing our local operators. There are many. They are the backbone of the oil economy for our county. They've been here in good times and bad and will be here for the future, employing hundreds of people in our communities and generating hundreds more jobs for support companies like water truck drivers and roustabout crews. This column is mostly about Shell though, since it was at their invitation that I toured Arrowhead Station.

Our tour started out with a change of clothes. I was given a hard hat, some safety glasses, some steel-toe boots and a fire retardant jump suit. After being fitted, we reviewed some rules for the tour and we headed off southwest of Anthony, KS to the drill site.......

KWIBS - From February 27, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

A few months ago my wife and I got a Coke machine for Main Street.

We did this after White’s moved out to the highway and just wanted to provide for our other pop "junkies" on Main Street. It’s been a good edition to our block and we’ve been pleased with the response.

We’ve also been pleased that there has been no vandalism to the machine in front of our building, which would be a foolish thing to do since we have a security camera pointing in that general direction.

But we are having one reoccurring problem. Someone’s dog is using the machine as a bathroom break spot and it has me pi**ed off.

I’m a dog lover, so don’t think I am angry that a dog has to relieve itself. That’s just nature and if it is a stray, then I appeal to the city to catch it.

However, I don’t think it is a stray.

I watched on Monday as a familiar person in town walked their dog on the West side of Main Street. I observed as they stopped with the dog and allowed it to go to the bathroom on the corner of Mandy Carr’s Ultimate Effex building. I was shocked and moved to write this column as a warning.

That is completely unacceptable, unsanitary, rude and it needs to stop. If I see it happen again, I will print your name in my column. If I see your dog urinate on my pop machine, I will have you pay to have it professionally cleaned and disinfected.

Main Street is dog friendly in the respect that we want you to walk your pet here, but if your pet can’t make it down the street without urinating on my pop machine or on businesses, then you should walk it elsewhere.

I praise the dog owners in our community who responsibly walk their pets and provide them with exercise and love. For those of you who don’t or can’t, don’t have a pet.

Thanks for reading and have a great pee-free week.

 

KWIBS - From February 13, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I’m a pretty organized for a guy who is going in 30 different directions each week.

Tuesday evenings is penciled in for cards for 8-9 months of the year. I call it "old man" cards. We play pitch, all kinds of pitch, and the winner does the dishes. I haven’t won a game in weeks....

We all said our good-byes last Tuesday after cards and said, "see you next Tuesday." On Thursday I was driving to town and realized, OH LORD, TUESDAY IS VALENTINE’S DAY! Can you imagine me saying to my wife on Valentine’s Day, "Have a nice evening honey. I’m going to play cards with the guys!"

Well, I was smarter than that (one of the few moments of smartness I have) and called one of the guys and suggested that we all have dinner with our wives instead of playing cards. He thought that was a pretty good idea! So no dog house for me and the "old man" cards group.

And this being Valentine’s Day, I have to make mention of my special sweetheart, Ronda. I’m blessed more than any man to have such a special woman in my life. This will be our 26th Valentine’s Day we’ve shared together and every year she blows me away with her beauty and grace. I’m the luckiest guy on the planet. I get to see her every day, and work with her side by side. She is my better half, the most precious gift God has ever given me.

"He who finds a wife finds what is good." (Proverbs 18:22)

As busy as we get, we need to be reminded that we are still sweethearts. Valentine's Day is a good day for me to stop and realize how wonderful you make me feel Ronda. Happy Valentine's Day!

Cupid shoots well for me and Ronda! He hit us with perfect aim.

? ? ? ?

I attended a regional planning meeting on potential oil activity in our area on Friday, February 3 in Kiowa. These two questions came out of our break out session and I wanted to share them with you:

Question 1. Identify one of the worst things that could happen with the potential oil boom.

Answers: Oil bust, crime, depleted resources, stuck with long term debt, deteriorated infrastructure, impact on the quality of life and the environment.

Question 2. Identify one of the best things that could happen with the potential oil boom.

Answers: Improve infrastructure, increase tax base, revenue growth, and ability to control the exit strategy.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 6, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I would not have believed it if I hadn’t seen it for myself.

Joey yelled to his mother, "Hey, I see a mountain lion!"

Ronda put her dish rag down and ran over to the window.

"He’s right! Kevin come look!"

I’m thinking to myself that they are both nuts and probably just see a bobcat.

I got up from the comfort of my couch and looked to see what the fuss was about.

I saw nothing....

Both Ronda and Joey were jumping up and down and pointing at this point.

"Right there! Right there!" They both shouted.

So, I looked again and there it was! It was a mountain lion. He was about 200 yards off our front porch across our pond and walking west across the dam.

I can’t describe what an awesome creature this was. It was much larger than I ever imagined one being.

Of course a lot of authorities will tell you that we don’t have mountian lions here in Barber County. I know some people who will laugh at that claim and tell you a story or two about their experiences with them on their property.

Very recently the Matt Peek, furbearer biologist with the Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks, confirmed that there are mountain lions in Kansas.

Many of the mountain lions located in the Midwest, and especially to the north in Nebraska, have been identified as sub-adult males, Peek said. Some experts believe as populations of mountain lions in the western United States have increased, dominant males have forced the younger males out of their home ranges.

It was getting dark and we weren’t going on his turf this soon, so the next day Ronda and I armed ourselves with some small pistols and went out to see if we could find tracks. By researching the big cats, I found that they have a unique set of pads. We found several tracks in the vicinity of our sighting and we set up some trail cameras in hopes of catching a picture if he comes back by. Here’s a photo to give you an idea of the size.

 

KWIBS - From January 30, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I’m not inspired at the moment....

There are weeks when columns pour out of my head and then there are weeks like this when I find my mind wandering.

Part of the problem was the beautiful weather we had last week. I looked for every excuse possible to go outside. Every opportunity I took got wrecked by a phone call or actual responsibilities to attend to.

? ? ? ?

Ronda and I got some really cool news last week. Our daughter Breeann called us to tell us that she and her husband are expecting another baby! That will be grand-baby #2 for us!

? ? ? ?

My youngest son, Nicholas, and I went up to Wichita last weekend and stopped in to see Bob Smith. He was still in ICU after his fall on Friday, January 13th (an unlucky day for Bob). I’ve missed his daily greeting on Main Street and it was good to know he was being so well cared for by the doctors and nurses and his niece Stephanie and her husband.

I was really touched by all the cards he had received from the community. Let’s keep them coming. If you would, take a moment to tell Bob you are thinking about him and love him.

Bob Smith

929 St. Francis Street

Wichita, KS 67214-3821

 

KWIBS - From January 23, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

It just makes me proud of our community when I see how they come together to help our friends and family in times of need.

A benefit soup supper (chili, soup, crackers, pie, cake, cookies, brownies) for the Donna Hudson and Michelle Eck families will be held February 3, beginning at 4:00 p.m. Donna and Michelle both work at Medicine Lodge Grade School and have both been diagnosed with cancer. All proceeds will be used to aid the families in defraying their expenses.

Their friends and coworkers have organized this event and I’m blessed to see the goodness extended towards others. What a great example this is to the students and to our community.

Also in this week’s paper is the contribution to our fire fighters from the Barber County Cattlemen’s Association. They raised money for our area fire departments through private donations at the auction and fund-raiser held last year.

The volunteers of the fire department worked selflessly fighting fires during one of our area’s worst droughts and the protected lives and property while risking their own safety to help their neighbors.

And finally, on this week’s front page is a story about Bob Smith. Bob took a fall down the street from our office just over a week ago and is recovering in a Wichita Hospital from his injuries to his face.

Ronda and I tried to go see him on Monday, but he was not in any condition to take visitors.

Bob is one of those friendly faces that I am thankful to see on nearly a daily basis. No matter what the weather, Bob is out there walking the street and greeting everyone he meets. There are a bunch of folks who didn’t get birthday cards in the mail last week because of his absence. He’ll also be missed at the ball games.

I hope he can recover soon and come home. Only time will tell. Get well Bob.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 16, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

Short on space this week.....

My grandson turned 2 last Wednesday. We’d gone up to see him earlier in the week. He loves to show me his room now. He runs out, grabs my hand and says, "Pa, c’mon!" It cracks me up!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 9, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

I’m going to be completely honest here. Years ago, I used to dread the conservation edition.

Hear me out.

I didn’t recognize the importance of honoring the efforts of those who farm and ranch and the process of what it takes to practice conservation.

A few years ago, my wife and I became involved in the operations of M-Bar Ranch / Lake Arrowhead. One of our first tasks was to deal with some drainage and runoff issues. We were sort of thrust into something we knew nothing about. Fortunately, we knew some people who did know what to do and with a few phone calls, a bulldozer and some money, that problem was solved.

With a visit to our ranch this past summer, the local conservation district has made us a plan. I’ll admit, it’s one we haven’t started yet, but like I said, "it’s a plan."

Without these experts and local services we would be lost.

Now I read the articles with interest and I appreciate the efforts of the agricultural community.

I also want to congratulate the efforts of this year’s conservation winners.

? ? ? ?

This past week, I procured a piece of printing history. An email crossed my desk on Monday from someone at the Lawrence Journal World.

An older man brought by an antique hand printing press and was wanting to sell it. The folks at the Journal weren’t interested in it, but sent out an email to KS Press and soon it landed in my email account.

I’ve always wanted an old printing press to put in my window on Main Street. I was looking for this very item. I made contact with the owner, Richard, who had no idea what he had. He was interested in moving the rather heavy item, but didn’t have a computer or a camera or a cell phone that could take a picture, so I had no idea what he had. Even if I was interested in it, how would I get it back to Medicine Lodge from Lawrence?

A simple post on FaceBook asking for some help with getting a photo taken in Lawrence led me to former Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital PAC Ryan Fleming.

Ryan ran by and snapped some photos and emailed them to me. Within hours I had identified it as an old Chandler & Price Pilot hand press. The old press was probably used by a school district or small office and is about 100 years old.

I called Richard back and we settled on a very reasonable price for the old printing press and on Friday afternoon, Ryan Fleming paid him and loaded it in the back of his car. Because he was coming anyway, he drove it back to Medicine Lodge for me.

The piece is now in our window and is a reminder of the progress made in the printing industry. It is also a tribune to the past generations of my family and their involvement in the newspaper and printing business that began for us in the 1930s.

? ? ? ?

For the past 6 months Ronda and I have been host parents to a young lady from Austria. Elli Unger came to live with us in August and now her time with us and her time in The United States is drawing to a close. Elli will return home on Friday, January 13, 2012 to finish her final year of school and then on to university.

She’s become a member of our family and although life will return to normal for all of us, it will never be the same.

We’ve learned a lot by hosting a student. Things like: the toaster doesn’t put itself away; everything is too spicy and we dispelled the claim that there is no public transportation in Kansas (we were public transportation). I think our student has learned a lot too. Things like: don’t ask mom and dad to do anything during Sunday afternoon football games; it isn’t stupid, it’s different and sometimes people go way overboard decorating the outside of their homes for Christmas.

Elli will return home to her friends, mom and dad, brothers and sisters, dog and cat and her boyfriend Mio. She’ll also have her 18th birthday to look forward to in a couple of weeks and getting her driver’s license!

AFS is a great program and opportunity for both families and students to learn a little about the world and about each other. We’re going to miss you Elli and our prayer is that you take a little of our family home with you. You’ll certainly leave us with a lasting memory of your time with us. We love you.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 2, 2012 - By Kevin Noland

For a number of years, I have selected someone in our community as my pick for "Premiere Person of the year." This year was the easiest pick I’ve ever had to make. I picked Sara Whelan.

She was pretty much a household name in 2011 and on my speed dial because of Peace Treaty.

Doris Sorg wrote about Sara in several articles throughout 2011. In one of those articles she writes:

For those unfamiliar and curious about the time-consuming plans leading up to the weekend that Medicine Lodge comes alive with visitors, saloon girls, gun totin’ cowboys, Indians and a variety of live entertainment, a definite description is also impossible.

For general questions concerning the planning of the Peace Treaty and the hours on the phone; the number of meetings; a list of things that can go wrong and the responsibility of trying to make everything go right, Sara Whelan, President of the Peace Treaty Board, is the number one person "behind the scenes". Her second Peace Treaty as president, Sara explained, "When one Peace Treaty is over, we continue to meet and exchange ideas for the next one." Whether Sara has a phone or a paintbrush in her hand, her dedication and commitment to the Peace Treaty celebration is an example of the dedication that has enabled the celebration to continue throughout the years.

Sara never asked for any special recognition throughout her service to the community. She’s probably going to kill me for even putting her photo on the front this week and mentioning her in my column.

I got a chance to work with Sara and other really dedicated people this year with Peace Treaty. I gained a new perspective on what it takes to put this celebration on and the countless hours of volunteering, led up by none-other than Sara Whelan.

She leaves huge shoes to fill on the new board. Thankfully, she’s not going anywhere. She’s promised us that she would help us see that Peace Treaty continues to be something Medicine Lodge can be proud of. She’ll be there, working behind the scenes, during the next celebration. You can count on that.

Speaking of Peace Treaty....

Peace Treaty 2011 is my pick for top story of 2011. Of my 40 years in this community, my fondest memories will be of this year’s pageant and celebration.

Many are the reasons for this year’s Peace Treaty being one of my most favorite. The biggest reason is because it was the first time in my life that both of my boys got to play a part in the pageant and both of my boys were in the same scene as me. Another factor was the all-school reunion. This event was what made Peace Treaty for me. Seeing all of my classmates and seeing friends from long ago gave me an overwhelming sense of pride in our community and I hope it did for you as well.

The top of my list for Peace Treaty had to be seeing my classmate and friend jump from a helicopter and parachute down onto Main Street during Saturday’s parade.

Nix White is a retired Navy Seal who graduated from MLHS in 1988. He did something that nobody had ever even thought of doing by jumping into the intersection of Main and Kansas. He did this while Martina McBride sang the Star Spangled Banner. Two of our favorite area celebrities in one place, giving back to their community during Peace Treaty. Thank you both.

2011 was mostly a "good news" year.

Progress was made on the highway as Pat White and his family made good on a promise to build a state of the art grocery store in our community.

This landmark store has hired many new people in the community and brought many new products and services to town. We thank Pat and his family and all of those who made the new store possible.

And more progress...

No one can deny the increase in activity in the town. The recent influx of people is due in part to the oil industry. We’re being told that we can expect more activity in 2012 and into the future. It’s exciting times in our community and county.

Of course there’s more news than I can mention here in this space. So, I hope you enjoy this edition and look back at the year of 2011. God bless you and have a happy 2012.

 

KWIBS - From December 26, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Ronda poked me and said, "Hey, look over there. It’s Kirstie Alley!"

I looked, and she was right. There just 10 feet away was Kirstie Alley.

We were in the East Mall in Wichita and in one of my favorite stores, Brookstone, when this deal went down.

My wife grabbed me by the arm and said, "Don’t bother her," and we walked out of the store.

My mind flashed back 16 years ago when me and my brother-in-law Kyle Vick were in the Plaid Giraffe on North Rock Road one Saturday afternoon.

Kyle said, "Hey, that’s Kirstie Alley over there."

Sure enough, it was and I said, "I’m going over there and getting her autograph. The only thing I had at the time was a Wichita Eagle rolled up in my back pocket. I walked up and said, "I’m a big fan, would you sign this for me?"

Sixteen years ago, Kristie Alley was going through that little weight issue, but still looked pretty darn good.

She smiled and said, "Sure, who do I make it out to?"

I told her my name and watched as she scribbled a greeting to me.

Then I said it.

"I loved you in ‘Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan’ where you played that Vulcan chick."

She looked at me and gave me the "you are a dork" look.

When I realized what a dork I was, I grabbed the paper, said "thanks" and ran out the door.

Why didn’t I mention ‘Runaway’, where she was nominated Best Supporting Actress or one of her famous ‘Cheers’ episodes? No, I had to say something really nerdy.

My mind came back to the present as we walked out into the mall. I stopped and said, "No, I’m going back in there and redeeming myself!"

I handed Ronda my cell phone with my camera cued up and walked to the counter where Kirstie was making her holiday purchases. She was surrounded by an entourage of people in expensive clothing and stiff hair.

I leaned up against the counter and said, "Hey Kirstie, can I tell you a story?"

Everyone got a little tense. I probably looked like your average stalker in my Dallas Cowboys jersey.

"Sure," she said smiling politely.

So I told her about our first meeting, 16 years ago at the Plaid Giraffe. I told her about what a dork I was for telling her I liked her as a Vulcan in Star Trek, that I still had her autograph on my desk and she smiled and said, "Hey, that was my first real performing role in a movie and I don’t get that many complements on that one. Thanks!"

I asked her if she would mind taking a photo with me, to which my wife photographer rolled her eyes, but willingly took. Below is a picture of me and my favorite Star Trek Vulcan, Lt. Saavik. Once a dork, always a dork.....

KWIBS - From December 19, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

A few weeks ago, one of our country’s $6 million spy drones (the RQ170) made a somewhat gentle landing in Iran.

Without missing a beat, Iranians declared they shot it down, but later displayed the virtually undamaged craft for its country run media and propaganda machine.

Later in the week, Iran claimed to have decoded our military’s technology and jammed our signals, landing this supersecret plane after it went astray from a CIA and Department of Defense mission in Afghanistan.

As I understand, once contact with the operators is broken, drones such as the RQ170 are programmed to circle an area until contact is reestablished, sources said. If contact is not reestablished during a pre-programmed period, it is designed to return to base or to self-destruct -- directed through a separate channel or program. A common outcome is that the drone crashes and is burned by its fuel.

Who knows why this didn’t happen, but it’s obvious that it didn’t.

President Obama asked Iran to return the drone. Iran has stated it will not return the drone and that the drone landing in their country and violating their airspace was an act of war in itself.

I’m pretty sure that everyone knows we’re flying these things over Iran and that one of these things was bound to crash or be shot down at some point.

A couple of things that struck me as very odd about this situation was that - we lost this thing in the first place; and that we had no plan to be 100% sure it would be destroyed rather than fall into enemy hands in the case of malfunction. We are (or were recently) the most technologically advanced nation in the world.

Why doesn’t this thing have cameras all over it and a button that can be pushed that makes this thing go "boom!". (You would want the cameras for the surprised look on everyone’s faces...)

I’ve offered my assistance to President Obama this week to help resolve the problem.

My letter:

"Dear Iran,

We’re sorry that one of our remote control planes landed in your desert. We were flying it over here in Afghanistan and it malfunctioned and for some dumb reason, we’ve programed it to land gently. We’re correcting that problem. In the future, if we lose contact with one, they are set to fly over the ocean climb to 30,000’ and then nose dive at full speed. I’m not sure yet who is getting fired over the default setting to "auto land".

We’re pretty sure you didn’t shoot it down and we are even more sure that you do not possess the technology to force it from the sky, but consistency and storytelling have never been your country’s strong points.

We’re asking, kindly and formally, that you return our $6 million spy-plane. We’ll meet you at the border and compensate you for your time and delivery. We realize that it might seem like an unreasonable request, but we want it back. We do have like close to 1,000 of these things ready to go in a moment’s notice, but it just doesn’t seem right to let you have even one.

We’ll give you a few options:

A) Return it now.

If you won’t give it back by: (insert exact time and date here) we’ll destroy it.

Yes, we realize that this would be another act of aggression against your sovereign nation, but if you don’t give it back right now we’re going to drop one of those really, really smart bombs with pinpoint precision that will destroy a 100’ radius with, hopefully, no collateral damage. We do have compassion for innocent lives. That’s why we’re going to give you 10 minutes to get out of the way before we drop it.

By keeping our aircraft and accepting and cashing the enclosed check for damages, you have agreed to hold harmless the United States and its interests.

Other options to consider:

B) Return it now.

C) Return it now.

Signed, President Obama"

Well, I read today that Obama actually considered a covert mission to reclaim or destroy the drone, but decided not to because any mission of that nature could be considered too aggressive or an "act of war."

News flash.... Iran has already declared that invading their airspace with a drone was an "act of war."

Seriously, what do we have to lose here?

? ? ? ?

With the Thanksgiving Holiday rushing right into December Christmas celebrations, our psychic abilities dimmed. I got a phone call last week from a reader who asked, "Why wasn’t anything in the paper about the vandalism to the Sharon Christmas light display?"

Honestly, I didn’t hear about it until last week when this reader called us. Folks sometimes think we just know everything, but often we don’t. "Well it was on TV!," the person said.

Well, who called the TV and not the local newspaper?

We ran three stories on the Christmas celebration in Sharon, but no one ever bothered to call us and tell us about what happened with the park.

We have a story this week on page 11. I’m sorry it took this long to cover it. That’s a sad deal and such a disappointing thing to have happen in any community. I hope the punishment is severe for those responsible. I suggested that those responsible be wrapped in LED lights and be forced to stand in the Sharon Park on display each evening until Christmas.

? ? ? ?

This is the second to the last issue of the Premiere for the year of 2011. It’s also the time we celebrate Christmas in our newspaper and share the letters from the grade school children. I have a few favorite issues I print every year. These last two of the year are my favorites because of the letters to Santa and The Year In Review.

Here’s my favorite letter from Derrek Randels. He writes, "Dear Santa,

I want a feed pickup with red front and flat black bed. Also I want a color maker, and one sock and a skunk also I want a KU real helmet and a ninja set. Wait! Also I want an ipad also two big boxing gloves. Thanks.

Love, Derrek Randels written by Elf Garrett Randels".

One sock and a skunk? Oh my, next year this boy is getting another sock, some tomato juice and a bar of soap.

? ? ? ?

I pray that each one of you has a blessed Christmas celebration with those you love and remember what it is that we’re celebrating this time of year: The birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas to you all.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From December 12, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Can you imagine my excitement when my wife handed me the envelope that was addressed from "Settlement Department."

I actually read my mail. I can’t tell you the number of class action law suits I have inadvertently become a party to by simply doing nothing.... I didn’t even know I was harmed.

Several years ago, I got a settlement check for $930 from an overpayment to my motorcycle insurance company. That was a good one! Last week, I got a settlement check for $18.35 from an attorney who sued Visa. That bought me lunch. This week, I got a check from Ying Ling vs. Ebay Settlement in the amount of, (drum roll........), 14 cents. That bought me nothing and only got my wife crazy stares from the bank tellers when she cashed it.

Seriously? 14 cents? The check itself, the paper, envelope and postage probably totaled closer to $1. Some lawyer made millions and I got 14 cents because Ebay Motors miscalculated some final charges on a Harley I sold on Ebay back in 2002.

From what I read, that was a pretty average amount on the settlement. Some were actually as high as $18,000, but mine was far less.

Here’s the problem....

"Bill" (as we’ll call him) recently received a card, letting him know about a class action settlement involving his lawnmower. To be honest, Bill didn’t even know that he was a part of this class action lawsuit. He didn’t even know there was a problem with his lawnmower.

This class action lawsuit had nothing to do with the product’s safety. Bill’s family wasn’t in jeopardy because of his lawnmower. This ridiculous lawsuit was over "claims that the Defendants misrepresented and overstated the horsepower of their lawnmowers and lawnmower engines." Although the defendants deny these claims, they did agree to settle.

In this particular class action case, the lawyers intend to collect over $14 million in fees.

Here is the problem I have with these types of class action lawsuits – Bill never knew he was harmed by his lawnmower and I bet the hundreds of thousands of consumers who bought these products between January 1, 1994 and April 12, 2010 never knew they were harmed either. It is a prime example of lawsuits gone crazy. Cases like this one jam the court system and prevent the timely resolution of legitimate claims.

Stupid class action lawsuits are an abomination of the tort system. Tort claims should only be made by people who have actually suffered harm and are not part of an unknown class of individuals who weren’t harmed, never once thought they were harmed and did not go out and hire an attorney to file a lawsuit.

KWIBS - From December 5, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Barb Keltner would roll over in her grave. Wait, Barb Keltner isn’t dead. She might die when she finds out what I bought last week.

For years Barb and I have had this "good vs. evil" fight over Mac/Apple and PC platforms. She being a Mac fan and me being a PC fan.

I used to joke that they put the handles on the old IMacs so that you could carry them into the repair shop easier or toss them in the landfill without straining to pick them up.

She of course at every opportunity would tell me how wonderful Apple products were and I would give her the "mmm-hmm" man-sound that means I really didn’t care.

But thanks in part to the power of marketing, the death of Steve Jobs, the alignment of the planets or whatever else you want to claim did it, last week I bought an Apple Ipad 2.

And I like it.

My son was like, "Why do you need an Ipad?"

Well, I’m sure there is a free application that will help me to deal with teenagers.

Actually, there are a lot of really cool "apps". Most of them are for sale, at a nominal fee, but some are free and are sort of useful.

Take for instance, "Duetsch". This application helps you to learn German. That would be great if I really wanted to learn German, but I don’t. However, my son set up my Ipad and installed this little "free" app so every 30 minutes my Ipad automatically turns on and says a German word or phrase. It startles me and I’m annoyed with this, but not smart enough to figure out how to turn it off.

Another "app" is one called "Lightsaber." This practical application allows me to hone my futuristic sword-fighting skills. I am sure this will come in handy in my day to day newspaper activities.

My favorite "app" though has to be the "Paper Toss" application. In this application, you are challenged to throw wadded up paper into a trash can with interference from a fan blowing.

There you have it, Barb. I’m now an Apple user.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 28, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

This is a story, too good not to share, about small town living. We are blessed to be able to laugh at ourselves every once in a while. Norma Ricke was good enough to let us reprint this story after a mishap she had at the grocery store last week.

Well, I have gone up and opened the door of a vehicle that looked like mine in front of a store, I have even got inside and sat down in one that looked like mine before I realized it wasn't, but I have never got in, sat down, started it up, and drove home in it, until today! Many thanks to a lovely lady named Bonnie Bailey who only laughed and assured me that it was no big deal when I brought her 2004 maroon Chevy pickup back to White's and exchanged it for mine! Not so much to Norm who kept yelling "THIEF!" at me!

Here’s the story.....

Well, I was in my kitchen cooking lunch with what I had picked up at the grocery store. The shop phone rang and I ignored it knowing Mark would get it, then he could tell whoever it was if he had something or not.

In a couple seconds my cell phone rang and it was Mark. I asked if he was ready to come in and eat lunch and he said, "No, but I am ready for you to jump in Bonnie Bailey's pickup and take it back to her."

Thinking he meant it was a customers and he needed me to help deliver it back to her I asked, "Ok, where does she live?"

He laughed and said," I don't know but she's at the grocery store and would like to have her pickup back!"

And that's when I knew.

I started freaking out and saying "Oh my gosh, am I in trouble?", but of course all he could do was laugh.

I finally hung up on him and went and got into the pickup that looked EXACTLY like mine and started the long drive back to town. I was practically in tears when I pulled in and saw the cop car parked in front of White's.

I very timidly started walking into White's when Norm stuck his head out of their liqour store and yelled, "Thief! Thief!"

Then Charlie Ricke and another lady I assumed was Bonnie came out and they were laughing.

I said "I am so sorry!"

The Bonnie lady gave me a big hug and said it could have just as easily been her. The cop who had been walking towards us must have realized I was just a moron, not a thief so he turned around and got in his car and drove off. THANK YOU LORD FOR THE BLESSING OF LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 21, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I had meetings almost every night last week, so it was late when I made my trek back to the ranch.

Several nights just after mile marker 30 on US281, a very healthy looking coyote sat on the east side of the road to greet me. He startled me a couple of times and I had to swerve to miss him.

He was there in the morning as I went back to work, munching on the carcass of a deer. This is a major crossing for them by the way, with no sign telling them to cross or warning motorists of their crossing. I just know they are there because of the amount of trips I make through there.

The coyote was just an opportunist.

On Wednesday night, we were returning home from the Harper County Oil Summit and we came up on him. Only this time, he was the victim. The poor little guy got creamed by some unassuming vehicle. He became dinner for the crows by Thursday morning.

It just goes to prove it’s a crow-eat-dog-eat-deer world out there.

? ? ? ?

Speaking of the oil summit...

Ronda and I went to Chaparral High School on Wednesday with Steve and Suellen Bryan. We sort of figured on seeing a few Barber County residents. Imagine our surprise when we saw over 1,000 people in attendance. The Harper County K-State and research center were equally surprised to see the turn out. I don’t think anyone realized how much interest there is in the oil activity in our area. Everyone is an opportunist.

The program featured speakers from Chesapeake, SandRidge and Shell. It was informative and has reaffirmed my belief that our area is about to burst at the seams with activity. This will include a boost for retailers, property owners and will also bring in new money to the area for quite a few years. Hopefully, it will make some of you wealthy too!

I think we are all a little bit like that coyote - looking for opportunity. I just hope we don’t get eaten by the crows.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 14, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

On Thursday, November 3rd President George W. Bush spoke to about 5,000 people at the Wichita Metro Chamber of Commerce's annual meeting at the Convention Hall in Century II. It was a "bucket list" item for me, but because of ballgames and schedule (and not enough money for the $250 ticket), I had to pass.

An email crossed my desk over the weekend from former Premiere staffer and MLHS graduate Seth Oldham. Seth got a chance to hear the former president speak and shared this blog with me and asked me to share it with my readers.

Getting to the Center of W.

He came in at just the wrong moment. President George W. Bush walked onto stage just two sentences too early to start his night off in Wichita. After confidently back-stepping behind the curtain, he successfully entered the stage thirty seconds later, waving and thanking the energetic crowd.

This was the first of many instances in which the former president caused the enormous crowd to burst into laughter. The former president seemed to let his guard down as he entertained and informed Wichitans last night. His humanness smacked the audience in the face right from the start. His speech began with an anecdote about the day he watched Barack Obama being sworn into the office of the president. He plopped down on his couch and started conversing with his wife.

"Thank goodness that's over." he said to Laura. "I'll finally have some free time on my hands."

"Yes, George," she replied, "Now you finally have the time to do your own dishes."

"Laura. You do realize you're talking to the former President of the United States?" he responded.

"Yes, I do. Just call this your new Domestic Policy Plan."

Wichitans were wooed by the President's southern charm and casual demeanor. Bush even managed to utilize the word "dude" in his speech. Most were disappointed that no "Bush-isms" were coined, but they were impressed with how frequently he made fun of himself. While talking about his book, he acknowledged that most people in D.C. didn't think that he could even read, let alone write. He also cracked jokes about the fateful day that he choked on a pretzel, passed out, and was resuscitated by the President's doctor.

All jokes aside, the former President spoke with incredible honesty about some of the decisions and events that shaped his presidency. At about the middle of his speech, he referenced his decision to send 15 billion dollars worth of aid to Africa to battle the HIV/AIDS epidemic. At the time of this decision, many Americans were upset with his choice to send aid abroad when the U.S. had its own problems to deal with. In one heartfelt sentence, he justified his decision, saying, "As the President of the most powerful nation ever, you must have priorities."

Most audience members had to fight their way through protesters outside chanting, "ARREST GEORGE BUSH." And although they were causing a ruckus, the one word that George Bush yelled during his speech was volumes louder and better received. He spoke of the choice to use faith-based programs to implement the HIV/AIDS prevention programs in Africa and the controversy that it caused because of their conservative and traditional approach. "If you want to tick some people off," he said, "just go to the Lincoln Memorial and yell 'ABSTINENCE' at the top of your lungs."

After wrapping up his speech, the president transitioned into a one-on-one interview with a member of the Wichita Chamber of Commerce. The interviewer asked him several questions, including "What went through your mind on September 11, 2001 and what are your thoughts ten years later?" Bush answered with sincerity and expressed his surprising lack of emotion during the 10 year memorial service. "The service was impersonal," he said. "I was sitting in a bulletproof glass box and watching the service from a distance."

Whether Republican, Democrat, or other, each member of the audience left Century II with a better sense of who George W. Bush is and the rationale behind his decision making during his presidency. His Christian values permeated throughout the entire presentation, but they really shone when he ended his speech saying, "God is Good," to which the Kansas crowd joyfully responded, "All the time!"

Thank you for sharing this Seth.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 7, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

 Every day I make my way to town from the north on 281. I watch the sun shine on our sleepy little town and I wonder, "Does Medicine Lodge have any idea what is about to happen to her?"

The oil boom is about to hit our area like a wicked summer storm. Only this time, we know it’s coming.

I’ve written about this numerous times, but I need to hammer it home with my readers. It’s coming. Unlike previous oil booms from the past, this wave and the new technology involved, is bringing in one of the world’s largest oil companies. Shell Corporation has made clear its intentions to drill horizontally in our area. With their coming, hundreds, perhaps thousands of jobs will lie in the wake.

Are we getting ready or are we burying our heads in the sand? Will we give up opportunity to cities like Pratt, Kingman, Harper and Anthony or will we grab the bull by the horns and get a piece of this fossil fuel stuffed pie? Some surrounding counties are already feeling the growing pains from the first wave of oilfield workers entering the area. We’ve already missed out on offices for local executives.

I’ve been speaking with some of my friends who I trust and believe are in "the know". We cannot move fast enough to develop housing and infrastructure. During our discussions this week I ran across a story about a similar situation in a community not so unlike our own. Could this be us?

Now hiring: North Dakota oil boom creates thousands of jobs

Thu Oct 27, 2011 1:43 AM EDT

By Catherine Kim and Jessica Hopper, Rock Center

Those hurt hard by the ailing economy are flocking to Williston, N.D., where an oil boom has turned a sleepy prairie town into a place producing thousands of jobs.

"There's opportunity here and that's what we all need is opportunity," said Williston Mayor Ward Koeser. "It's kind of been an oasis for the country. You know, there's a lot of jobs here, good paying jobs in the oil industry."

Williston is situated on the Bakken formation, an oil field that some say will produce the biggest boom in North America since the 1960s. Koeser said that his town currently has 2,000 to 3,000 jobs and they haven't been able to fill the openings fast enough.

"A lot of jobs get filled every day, but it's like for every job you fill, another job and a half opens up," Koeser said.

A job on an oil rig can pay as much as six figures. The starting salary for truck drivers is around $80,000. While the nation's unemployment rate is 9.1 percent, Williston's unemployment rate is less than 1 percent.

Locals say job seekers from all 50 states are heading to the North Dakota town, becoming modern-day pioneers. The town's population has nearly doubled from 12,600 people to 23,000 people.

Patrick Parker hitchhiked from Yuba City, Calif., to Williston. When NBC News spoke to him, he had just $12 in his pocket. Parker, a paving stone layer by trade, has been out of work for two years.

"One of my goals is to make my daughters proud of me," said an emotional Parker. "I want to make them proud because I worked a good job for 10 years and then for it to go away it's just, it just gets to me a little bit."

Parker is one of a dozen people NBC News saw setting up camp or living in their cars in the parking lot of the local Wal-Mart. Williston's housing construction hasn't caught up with its rapid growth.

Parker said the town feels "like the old gold rush town."

Oil was discovered in this part of North Dakota 60 years ago, but it was only recently that oil producers have found a way to get at it more effectively. After drilling about two miles down, they drill horizontally for another two miles through the bed of rock where the oil is trapped. Using a technique called fracking - water, sand and chemicals are shot into the rock formation from that horizontal pipe to create cracks and fractures. From those openings, comes the oil. Those in the oil industry say the tight rock that traps the oil, also prevents it from escaping into the water table during the fracking process.

North Dakota is currently the fourth largest producer of oil in the United States, but that is projected to change soon. A spokesperson for North Dakota’s Mineral Resources Department said that oil production in the state is expected to surpass Alaska and California by 2015 which means North Dakota will be the second largest oil producer in the country soon.

Along with the bounty from the oil boom, come some stresses and strains. A sewage system that's running at full tilt, truck traffic congestion, an influx in 911 calls-those are just a few of the headaches that keep Mayor Koeser up at night.

There is such a large influx of people that thousands are staying in 'man camps'- shipping containers converted into housing units for the workers new to town. When more teachers were hired to deal with the rising number of students, an apartment building had to be built to house the new teachers, Koeser said.

"When we have as many people come here everyday looking for work, where are they going to live," Koeser asked. "How are we going to get water to them and sewer to them and a road to them and power to them and all those sorts of issues. Yeah, it's putting a tremendous amount of pressure on the infrastructure."

Of all the stresses, the biggest strain on the community is truck traffic, the mayor said.

"That's really stressing us, the traffic, a lot of accidents," said Koeser. "In a small community, you're used to getting from one side of town to the other in just a few minutes, that's no longer the case."

The number of accidents in September were double the amount the same time a year ago, the Williston Herald reported.

The surplus of people living in the town coupled with the traffic accidents has led to a drastic rise in calls to 911. Koeser said that the police receive at least 10,000 more calls a year than in pre oil boom times.

"Now keep in mind, you've got, you know, probably 9,000 men living in man camps around the city, not in the city limits, but living around the city and what do they do at night when they're done with work? They come to town and find a bar and want to have a good time, and sometimes get in trouble," Koeser said.

But that means more jobs: the town is adding six new policeman and three dispatchers this year, the mayor said.

Even with the headaches, Koeser said he and Williston's other residents are lucky that the town has become an oasis for job seekers.

"I've lived here most all of my life and I love it. And although we're really being challenged right now, with those challenges come some great opportunities," he said.

KWIBS - From October 31, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Will return...

KWIBS - From October 24, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Last Tuesday evening, a little over 100 people came to The First Christian Church for the community’s first public meeting on Peace Treaty.

It’s good to see so many interested folks. I scanned the room and saw every face being familiar. They were all involved in some aspect. Whether actors, sponsors, board members, committee chairs or just people working with various groups and organizations, they were all part of Peace Treaty’s success.

And no one wants it to end.

108 people filled out a survey as to when the next pageant should take place. 33 people want it again in 3 years, 41 want it in 5 years, 28 people want it in six years to coincide with the 150th anniversary of the signing of the treaty in 1867, 6 others had anywhere from 4-5 years.

The current board recommends waiting until 2017 to do the next one, with events in between to build up the excitement for the 150th. I am in favor of this idea. There are so many pros and cons to doing it sooner or later, but the biggest concern I have is, will people still want to come and participate in 6 years? I hope they will.

Three years is just too soon. I can tell you that this community is not ready to begin planning a 2014 event. We would need to start immediately and frankly, a few people need a breather before beginning another one.

Several ideas are floating around for events between the next pageant. One of those ideas was announced on Tuesday. The Indians that participated this year would love to have a pow-wow event in Medicine Lodge. Steve Bryan recommends we pursue that idea. Some other ideas include music events and scaled down performances of the night show’s cancan girls.

Whatever we do, we need to first select the people who will lead the next celebration. So far, there are many workers, but few willing to lead. For those who made 2011’s event so succesful: You’ve set the bar high!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 17, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

First let me say that this is in no way directed at our local folks at the USPS. These folks do their job to the best of their ability given the resources they have and the shrinking budget.

It is my opinion, one gathered and formed from being a decent-sized customer of the USPS, that this business is in desperate need of a complete revamp in its service.

Recent discussion of closing smaller post offices only frustrates me when I hear talk of ways to make the Post Office more profitable. Each week I read at least a dozen emails from frustrated newspaper publishers across the state in regards to delivery problems.

A perfect example of this comes from a customer in Sharon this week who received his Monday-mailed paper on Wednesday. Now this was normal for this past week with Columbus Day, but for the past several weeks, it was unacceptable. He’s considering dropping his subscription and buying the newspaper over the counter.

Another customer in Alva dropped her subscription to the paper after it took more than two weeks for it to arrive.

Newspapers to New Mexico and California can take as long as 3-4 weeks to deliver.

We have little, to no control of the speed at which the newspaper is delivered. The mailing is done each and every Monday, provided it is not a holiday. The mailing programs we use are certified by the USPS to ensure best rate and delivery.

My final straw this week was an important package delivered to us on Tuesday. This package was shipped 33 days prior and arrived to us, opened and retaped. Inside, half the contents were missing or damaged. Packages inside this package were opened. Someone went through this package while it was in possession of the USPS. No explanation was given to why its contents were lost, stolen and damaged.

There are more reasons that the Post Office is in financial trouble. First, Congress requires that the USPS fund both the retirement program and the health plan at 100%. The average for the S&P 500 funding is 80%. Other federal employees is 41%; the military is 24%; and the some government bureau which requires the USPS to fund at 100% does not fund its plans at all.

Second, it’s run by the federal government (and funded by fees). No one can deny the inefficiency of the government. The Post Office is expected to handle 167 billion pieces of mail this year. That’s a huge number – but it represents a 22 percent decline from just five years ago. Also, the Post Office’s total volume is expected to plunge by another 30 percent over the coming decade.

The Internet and corporately owned companies like UPS, FedX and DHL are cutting into their business and providing a faster and in some cases, less expensive solution to mail.

A perfectly stated opinion by Fitsnews read, "Of course it’s not just the ongoing decline in mail volume that’s creating this gaping financial hole. Like everything else government does, it delivers packages inefficiently, too. According to the latest data, more than 80 percent of the Post Office’s expenses are devoted to labor costs. By comparison, only 32 percent of FedEx’s expenses are labor-related.

Like any business who wants to survive, change must occur. It’s not always easy. Years ago, we had issues with the quality of the printing of our newspaper. Our customers wanted a better quality product. We demanded change and got it. It was not the smoothest of transitions. It required a new way of thinking and lot more work than what we thought, but we did it to survive.

I am thankful to our local Post Office for working hard to provide us with the best service available. I hope someone out there is smart enough and determined enough to make this service work without wrecking it even further.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 10, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Stop what you are doing and get out a pen and mark this date. October 18, 2011 there will be an informational meeting about Peace Treaty at the First Christian Church Family Life Center at 7 p.m.

If you are interested in the future of this event, I encourage you to attend and learn about what it means to serve this fine association.

I know that many of you want to keep this tradition alive and this meeting will be the first of many to come before planning the next big event for our community.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 3, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

The response about the 23rd Peace Treaty has been overwhelming.

Monday evening the Peace Treaty board held a short meeting, a debriefing of sorts, to talk about the pros and cons of the event. The pros definitely won. It might be weeks before we have the final numbers, but it looks like it was around 11,500 in attendance over the three day celebration

My inbox was so packed coming in Monday morning, that it crashed and I had to reboot my computer.

I’ve tried my best to sort through the letters and comments and put them in the paper this week. Surprisingly, I ran across one negative letter about Peace Treaty, but it was obvious that this person poorly planned their trip to Medicine Lodge and it was in no way our fault that she and her family didn’t have a good time.

The weekend was a great moral shot in the arm for our community. Everywhere I went this week, someone wanted to talk about how great Peace Treaty was. No doubt, we have some momentum that we can either build on or we can reminisce about the great Peace Treaty of 2011 one day. It’s our choice.

As far as the future of Peace Treaty, it is up to all of us to decide. It looks like it won’t be the last, but for many on the board, it’s time for fresh blood.

Everyone on the board agrees it was one of the best celebrations ever and we all enjoyed working together. It was strange going in to this past week without some Peace Treaty task before me. Monday night’s meeting was a climax of several months of planning. It left me with a feeling of real satisfaction and pride in our community. Peace Treaty truly was a product of a town coming together. It doesn’t just have to be with Peace Treaty. It can be that successful with everything we do, if we work together.

I hope you enjoyed yourself and I hope you enjoy the letters to the editor this week.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 26, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

What a weekend!

I’m actually writing this before it ever happened, but that’s how this business works sometimes. The town could have been destroyed by a freak earthquake, but my paper will say the weekend was a huge success!

It was all accomplished by the many hours of volunteers in our community. Some of them have been visible on the front page of the paper, or you see them actually working during the pageant and other related events. Some were nearly out of sight and out of mind. Those were some of the most important people making Peace Treaty happen.

One of those people was David Colborn. He got little recognition for what he did, but each and every one of us on the board and on committees knows his contribution. David spent countless hours and got the electricity flowing to our vendors, our bands and the pageant grounds. He also got our sound system on Main Street patched up in a couple of spots to help with announcing the parades.

When he first said he’d do it, I don’t think he understood the magnitude of the project he’d undertaken. David zipped all around town hooking things up, figuring things out and got it all done before the events took place.

We thank him for what he did for Peace Treaty and the community. His services were invaluable.

At last Monday’s meeting someone said, "Hey, he’s our new Ron Ward!" For those who remember Ron, he was the guy that always took care of the electrical needs of Peace Treaty.

Also of great importance was the work that Southern Pioneer did for the association. Thank you to Mark and Brian and Amy for answering all my calls

? ? ? ?

I also want to thank my staff here at the paper for working so hard these past few weeks. It has been a little hectic, to say the least, in our office. The week of Peace Treaty we answered a lot of calls and did a lot of running around.

I was gone a good majority of the week with making some of the final arrangements and people stepped up to help me out and I do appreciate it. Thank you to my Wife Ronda, Doris and my Mom Joyce. You guys are the best. Because of the short week for us, much of our photography work is only available online. Go to www.facebook.com and search "The Gyp Hill Premiere" for hundreds of photos of the weekend.

? ? ? ?

There are just too many people to thank. Actually, the most important person I can think of to thank is you. If you came and enjoyed the weekend, we thank you for being a part of it. It wouldn’t have been Peace Treaty without you.

? ? ? ?

2011 Peace Treaty was very special for me and my family. I appeared in the pageant with my two boys, Nicholas and Joey and AFS daughter Elli Unger. It was a cool experience. We leave 2011 Peace Treaty wondering what its future holds. I hope it continues for many more generations.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 19, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Are you ready for a fun weekend? Well, we’ve got you covered, wagon! Ha! Peace Treaty humor....

? ? ? ?

As you felt by the weight of this week’s paper, we’ve been very busy. The special section for Peace Treaty is in this week’s paper. Hopefully, you didn’t get too upset when you saw that we charged a buck for it. It was a mammoth project with an impressive cost to produce. For the first time in the history of Peace Treaty special sections, we have put out a multi color edition. The cost of next week’s paper will return to the normal 75 cents.

Speaking of next week’s paper.... For the past several weeks I have been stressing out over the September 26th copy of The Gyp Hill Premiere. With it being a Peace Treaty weekend, it’s hard to find the time to actually work at our real jobs! I had originally thought about taking an extra day to make the newspaper come out on Tuesday, but when I requested a print date change, I discovered we wouldn’t be able to come out until Wednesday, so we decided to stay on schedule.

So for the past week or so, I keep having these reoccurring dreams that we didn’t make our press time. I hope these are just bad dreams!

? ? ? ?

Here we are, just a few days away from what some have said "could be" our last Peace Treaty Pageant. It seems almost sacrilegious to even utter the word "last and Peace Treaty" in the same sentence.

I’ve been asked many times if this is true and I always have to answer, "You know, it could be, but I don’t know." The decision is actually up to me. It’s up to you and everyone else who treasures this event. Peace Treaty can only go on with the support of the many people it takes to put it on. Frankly, some of them are tired, some are old, some are just too busy. The list for reasons to stop the pageant goes on and on.

Keep in mind, the list of reasons to keep it going are bigger than the reasons to stop it, but it still takes countless hours of volunteerism and sacrifice to do this event.

I want to commend Sarah Whelan and everyone on the board and who helps make Peace Treaty possible. It has been such an honor to be a part of the process. My part is so small.

I’ve been to many of the meetings and I always leave with a sense of pride in the people who donate time, money and their blood, sweat and tears to this event. Some of these people say it will be their last time. I can only hope that they reconsider.

I do know this to be true. It will be a fantastic event, rain or shine. So much buzz has been generated that it can be nothing but a success. It might be an ironic marketing twist that this could be one of the top Peace Treaty weekends in its many years in existence simply because so many think it could be the last one.

? ? ? ?

It’s going to be such a busy week in our community. I actually had to schedule a place and a time to shower for the three day weekend. Since we live out in the country and I have so many things going on each day, I realized I didn’t have time to go home and freshen up after the Pageant.

I play the part of Colonel J.K. Rankin of the US Cavalry. He was one of the many diplomats that attended the original Peace Council. I can only imagine how hot he must have been in his dark blue wool jacket and pants. On top of that, he was surrounded by some irritated Native Americans. That must have been stressful. He probably smelled worse than I do after wearing that outfit for a couple of hours. But still, I owe it to you and everyone else I plan on running into over the weekend to find time to take a shower.

Speaking of seeing people, I so look forward to running into former class mates and seeing old friends over the weekend.

Medicine Lodge thanks you for attending Peace Treaty 2011. We hope you have as much fun this weekend as we’ve had planning it out. With your support, it won’t be the last time we get together and remember our history.

Have a great weekend!

 

KWIBS - From September 12, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I was so mad.

I got my Peace Treaty uniform out of the closet a couple of weeks ago to discover it had shrunk! I’m not sure if just hanging idle did it or if it got wet at some point, or what had happened.

In a major panic, I called a friend to see if she could fix it. Apparently, the problem isn’t with my uniform, but with my gut. She laughed and said it must have been my wife’s fault with all of that good cooking. Come to think of it, five years ago it barely fit. Ten years ago it was a snug, but breathable jacket. It had been shrinking for the past decade.

I got on-line and ordered a new one and got an email that it was back ordered 6 weeks, so I panicked again. I finally found an outfit that could ship me one ASAP. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I won’t be a shirtless Colonel J.K. Rankin at the 2011 Peace Treaty. That would definitely be the end of Peace Treaty!

Peace Treaty is just barely over one week away and I am seeing some pleasing things going on in our community. The City crews have been working very hard to clean things up, painting crosswalks, parking places and curbing and mowing. I commend these guys for their work.

I’ve also seen several others cleaning up their homes and business fronts. It’s good to see so many people showing pride in their community before such an important event.

A couple of weeks ago I had actually considered doing a "worst yard of the week" photo in the newspaper. I had discussed it with several people, all who thought it was a great idea. My wife ended up being the voice of reason. Just think though, about how freaked out you would be to see your trashy yard on the front page of the newspaper. I think it would be very effective.

My son Joey had a day off last week and helped me build our float for the Peace Treaty Parades. This isn’t a new float idea. I actually did this very same float in 2001. It’s a giant paper airplane. I originally built this out of some scrap wood and newspapers 20 years ago. It was a big hit and we decided that since we’re celebrating our 20th anniversary this year, it would be a great idea to recreate this.

After the Peace Treaty in 1991, I took the plane to the dump and tossed the plans. Last week I sat down and drew it back out and after Joey saw it, he took an interest in helping me. By the end of the evening we had the whole family working on it. I have one problem though, I don’t know how I am going to get it to town.

The 1991 trip the dump is a story all by itself. Tate Henke and I dragged the fake, oversized airplane to the dump one Tuesday afternoon. It did fine at about 25 mph. At 60 mph, the thing actually tried to fly and we ended up picking up pieces of it off of the highway.

 

KWIBS - From September 5, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

You read a lot of things on the Internet that just aren’t true. So when I saw the message pasted in all "caps", I thought it was another bogus post. Upon researching it. I found it was completely true.

The message read: NYPD, FDNY AND EMS OFFICERS WERE NOT INVITED TO THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY CEREMONY OF 9/11... MAYOR BLOOMBERG CLAIMS THERE IS NO ROOM FOR THEM... 10 YEARS AGO, THEY WEREN'T INVITED, BUT THEY SHOWED UP WHEN EVERYONE ELSE WAS RUNNING OUT!!! RE-POST IF YOU AGREE THEY SHOULD BE THERE

This protest message, which is currently circulating rapidly via Facebook and other social media sites, claims that first responders to the 9/11 attacks in New York have not been invited to the upcoming 9/11 tenth anniversary ceremony. According to the message, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has stated that there is no room at the event for first responders.

The claims in the message are true and have been confirmed by a number of credible news reports. An August 16 report published on UPI.com notes:

NEW YORK, Aug. 16 (UPI) -- First responders who rushed to the disaster scene on Sept. 11, 2001, are not invited to this year's memorial service at Ground Zero, New York officials confirm.

The service is scheduled for Sept. 11, 10 years after the terror attacks.

In a statement, a spokesman for New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Andrew Brent, said the memorial is for victims' families, CNN reported.

An August 17 Fox News report concurs, noting:

New York – They were the first ones on the scene when the World Trade Center towers fell on September 11, 2001, but ten years later, the first responders are being told that they will not be invited to take part in this year's tenth anniversary ceremony at Ground Zero.

The city announced earlier last week that due to security and space issues, there would be no room for the first responders.

The move has generated much controversy and has been viewed by many as disrespectful to those brave men and women who risked their lives and health to respond to the disaster. New York officials claim that the 10th Anniversary memorial ceremony will focus on the families of victims. New York Mayoral spokesman, Andrew Brent told UPI that "given the space constraints, we're working to find ways to recognize and honor first responders, and other groups, at different places and times."

Although official invitations were not usually sent to first responders in previous years, they were still free to attend memorial ceremonies if they wished and many have done so. However, 2011 is reportedly the first year in which first responders have been officially advised that they are not invited to the event.

Many other news agencies are reporting that Mayor Bloomberg has declined to invite religious leaders to speak and attend as well. He has asked that there be no prayer in the ceremony. Some say he’s given up on the idea after threats by atheist groups to sue the city if religion plays any part at the event.

? ? ? ?

I drove past the Peace Treaty barn on Tuesday evening and saw a familiar site. The wagons were out and lined up on the hill. It’s just one of those things that brings a smile to your face when you think about Peace Treaty being just over two weeks away.

Our special section was put to bed last week. It always occurs to me that there was so much more that could have gone in, but we’re always restricted by a deadline to squeeze in a print day for it. It’s a mammoth project that has been months in the making. Whatever happens between now and Peace Treaty that doesn’t make the edition will have to be in our September 19th edition. One of those important things is the cast of characters. This evolving list of names is almost always one of the last things to be completed.

We discussed the pageant at Monday’s meeting. There is a lot of excitement at these last meetings before the big weekend. I have enormous respect for everyone who is working hard to make this Peace Treaty the best ever.

There is also a lot of talk about this being the last Peace Treaty. I’m confident it won’t be, but as for the pageant itself, it is unknown. I do know this: October will begin a new chapter of Peace Treaty. Planning will already be under way to keep this tradition alive and well in our community.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 29, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

We have just over 3 weeks until Peace Treaty! The time is flying by and getting shorter each day to accomplish a laundry list of things.

I’ve been frantically working on the special section for Peace Treaty. I shouldn’t just say "I am working..." My whole office is working on this edition. It’s a monster issue packed with our area’s history.

Not a day goes by that someone doesn’t want to talk about Peace Treaty. Almost every day we hear about something new that’s going on during the celebration that we didn’t know about. This week was the promotion of the Friends of NRA during Peace Treaty. Twnety-five numbered Henry guns have been manufactured commemorating the Peace Treaty. These things are awesome (and completely out of my budget). There is a story on this week’s front page about the guns and the fund-raising activities of the local chapter of the Friends of NRA.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 22, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

So, being a creature of habit, I strolled down to White’s last Monday to grab some deli food. I greeted everyone up front and mosied on to the back corner only to say, "what the...?"

There was nothing there. The deli was just one of the early moves that the grocery store made to their new store on the highway. I understood. No deli today. I can live with that.

I just decided to round the corner and get a TV dinner or something frozen I could stick in my microwave.

I got there and I was like, "what the....?"

There was no food in the freezers. I learned that the freezers had been knocked out by the wicked storms that hit our community on Friday, August 12. It made no sense to pour money into freezers that would be abandoned in a week, so the store moved that section as well.

I wandered around the store for another 10 minutes and decided I wasn’t really that hungry, grabbed a bag of peanuts and went back to work.

It might seem like an inconvenience to some, but when the move is done and the new store opens, we’re all going to have a better place to shop for food. I’m so gratful to Pat White and his family for making this huge investment in our community. This was no small task and he has been in the thick of things along side store Manager Norm Clouse and his crew.

White’s move will happen the first of this week, leaving the old store and the new store closed on Tuesday while they make some final adjustments to inventory. It’s a bitter sweet ending to a store whose presence has alway been in my life time in Medicine Lodge.

Change is sometimes hard, but in this case it’s going to be great for our town. Let us not forget that our Main Street still needs your support. We hope another business will go into the old grocery store building.

? ? ? ?

Those crazy storms on Friday, August 12 were enough to fill up one of our ponds half way. The drought nearly killed off this pond that has been there for 50 years. That storm was also a heck of an initiation for the newest member of our family. Elli Unger came to live with us on Friday. We drove around the storm so we missed most of it, but saw its aftermath.

Elli is from Austria and will be attending MLHS this fall as a senior. Elli enjoys music and swimming. She also enjoys cooking! We’re excited about that. She told my boys last week that she was going to make them a "crap", to which my boys were completely confused. We later discovered she meant "crepe".

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 15, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Rev. Rodney M. Worsham, Senior Pastor of the First Assembly of God in Medicine Lodge has issued a challenge. His church is having a FREE back to school movie night on August 20th and 21st. He says if he gets 175 people or more in attendance on Saturday he will shave his head. Yes, you read that correctly. He will shave his head.

That’s something I find interesting and funny all at the same time and I would like to reissue that challenge to everyone here in the newspaper. What could be better than a FREE movie, FREE popcorn, prizes and a guy shaving his head? See The First Assembly of God Church’s ad on page 7 for further information about this event.

? ? ? ?

America was saddened by the death of 30 U.S. soldiers who died when their helicopter was shot down in Afghanistan. We often forget that these men and women are real people with families and loved ones at home. Sometimes the news just blurs for me as I hear about our fallen heroes.

This particular tragedy hit close to home. I learned that one of the soldiers who died in this accident was a Kansan. Bryan Nichols was the pilot, and being a close friend, was in the wedding party of Julie and Seth Kastle. Julie is Doris Sorg’s daughter. Both Seth and Julie served with Bryan Nichols in two tours.

A CW2 Bryan Nichols Memorial Fund has been established. Seth and his friends are working with a financial advisor to set up a 529 College Savings plan for Braydon (Bryan’s son) with the proceeds. You may donate by visiting www.cw2nichols.bbnow.org

? ? ? ?

The Peace Treaty board has been meeting every week now and there are only five more weeks until the big weekend in Medicine Lodge. We are frantically working on our Peace Treaty special edition and this week we will close advertising on this 40 page section with 16 pages of color. We’re extremely pleased with the response so far. If you are interested in advertising your business and we haven’t contacted you, please call Ronda at 620-886-5654.

Have a great week

KWIBS - From August 8, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Our area was blessed with some rain last Wednesday. Reports from Leroy Weber indicate that 1 1/4" fell at Lake Arrowhead.

And unofficially, the temperature dipped to a chilly 99 degrees on Thursday, breaking a 47 day streak of 100+ degree weather! brr...

? ? ? ?

On Friday, our family will go to Wichita to welcome Elli Unger to our home and to Medicine Lodge. Ellie comes here from Austria and will be living with us through the AFS program. She is a semester student and will stay through mid-January of 2012.

There are still students who have not been placed in the Heartland area. If you are interested in hosting a student, please call Peggy Schneider at 316-641-7876.

KWIBS - From August 1, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

They were a little jetlagged and shocked at the change in climate, but Joey and John are home from their 23 day adventure in Europe.

While we are having unseasonably warm temperatures, Germany is experiencing the opposite. Many days were rainy and in the 60s there. Joey packed like he was from Kansas - shorts and t-shirts. They were both very cold and had to buy clothes to keep warm.

We met them at the airport on Monday afternoon. They traveled 4800 miles and arrived 2 minutes ahead of their schedule with only one layover in Chicago.

This trip was in contrast to my mother arriving home on Tuesday.... We went back to Wichita to get her at the airport only to find out that her flight from Atlanta had been delayed. As it turns out, she was over 5 hours late landing. Ronda and I spent the day trying to fill in 5 hours. We ate pretty well and we saw a movie, so the trip was not a complete pain. Mom went and visited family in Rhode Island for the past couple of weeks. We’re happy that Joey and Mom are back home.

I couldn’t wait for Joey to get home. He had brought me home two requested items: A giant beer mug and chocolate. I about made myself sick on the chocolate. I haven’t test driven the beer mug yet! The Germans don’t mess around when it comes to drinking beer. I believe this mug will hold about 3.5 of our 12 oz. beer cans, which is about 2 more than I can actually stomach to drink in one setting.

? ? ? ?

You already know this, but we’re just weeks out for our big Peace Treaty Celebration and All-School reunion. Things are progressing quite smoothly as the weekend approaches. Do you have your tickets? Do you have a place to stay?

Have a great weekend!

KWIBS - From July 18, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Well, John Nixon and my son Joey are well into their second week of vacation in Europe. While there, they are visiting former students Max Zinowsky, Simon Wildberger, Christoph Wustner and Nick Gaertner. They also met John’s new AFS student, Leopold Luz.

This has been a trip of a lifetime for both of them, but especially for Joey. This is Joey’s second "out of the country" experience since a trip he took to Mexico a few years ago. He’s officially been to more countries in his 18 short years of life on this planet than his mother and I have been to put together.

This trip was made possible by Joey’s own hard work. He’s saved his money and worked very hard to be able to go to Europe. It’s also made possible by the friendships he’s made with these boys through the AFS program and with our neighbor and friend, John Nixon. When they began planning this trip more than a year ago, I knew it would happen and I knew they would have a great time.

AFS is an incredible program not just for students visiting out country, but also for the families who host them. There is a great need in our own community for host parents for the Heartland Team. If you have an interest in hosting a child for just a few short weeks, months or even an entire year, there is a student to who would be most appreciative and I promise, your family will benefit. Contact:

Peggy Schneider - Volunteer

Heartland Hosting Coordinator for AFS-USA

316 722 5439 Home

316 641 7876 Mobile

peggy.schneider@afsusa.org

We’ll be a host family again this year. Our newest daughter arrives in mid-August from Austria. Her name is Elli Unger. We’re excited to meet her and share our community with her. It’s especially exciting that it is a Peace Treaty year.

I’ve only spoken with Joey and John a few times since they left on July 2nd. Facebook has been a wonderful way to keep up on their travels and Skype was handy for receiving a phone call from the travelers last week.

Joey said he has sampled some native cousine including horse and beef tar tar. Sounds delicious doesn’t it?

John emailed me a photo of himself with Joey and "Lars", who was an exchange student two years ago and lived in Hutchinson, KS. The shot was taken off of Simon’s front terrace overlooking their community in Switzerland.

KWIBS - From July 11, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Sometimes we are quick to paint a gloomy picture of our local economy. Here’s a little bit of information that should make you confident in Barber County’s future.

I recently reported that our county is expecting upwards of $30 million in increased valuation, mostly due to oil and gas production. This week I learned that Pratt County reported their total valuation fell from $129.5 million to $124.6 million. Barber County’s total valuation is sitting at nearly $136.6 million.

We’ve got more good news!

Oil and gas production in the county will bring in more jobs and even more money in production. White’s new grocery store will be opening in the next month. The wind transmission line project is about to begin. The Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital could be breaking ground on their upgraded facility by October. Southern Pioneer is expanding.

There is so much going on, it’s almost impossible to report it all. There are also a lot of things in the works that we can’t report about yet, but we’re very excited about.

? ? ? ?

My family went to Hardtner this year for the 4th of July. It had been nearly 20 years since I had been there for one of their shows. With the fireworks ban in place, our lake didn’t have a night show, so we decided to give it a try. WOW! That’s all I can say. Hardtner did a bang up job and we sure appreciated how hard they worked to put on such a top-notch event. Thank you to those of you who make that possible for the area. It was truly amazing.

? ? ? ?

We reported for several weeks about Sharon’s 125th celebration. Although my wife and I didn’t make it over during the 4th of July weekend, we saw lots of photos on Facebook. The community put on a great celebration and everyone says they had a blast. Congratulations to the Sharon community for turning 125 years old! What will you do to top that when you turn 150?!?

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 4, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I thought the 4th of July weekend without fireworks would be like Christmas without Jesus, but I guess we made it without the pops and bangs.

Barber County was one of several counties that banned fireworks for the 4th. This is the first year in my lifetime I can remember not having fireworks during the 4th. I know that folks in town were able to shoot them off, but us rural folks were just fine without them. The recent drought has gotten serious enough that drastic measures had to be taken.

It's so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

It's so hot, today I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Some may not realize this, but conditions are so hot and dry that Elm Mills Resort has been ordered to release their hold on their water that flows into Elm Creek.

I’ve lived on M-Bar ranch for 22 years and for the first time, I am witnessing spring fed ponds drying up. A well that is better than 70 years old is not able to pump water for more than about 5 minutes. Even 99 Springs is seeing lower levels than normal for this time of year.

So far the levels at Lake Arrowhead are holding and the springs are still producing, but we desperately need rain. Counties just north of us have received less than normal rain fall, but at least they have gotten some rain.

Levels at the Barber County State Lake are alarming as well. Wells and springs just can’t keep up with this grueling heat we seem to have this summer. And remember, it’s just now July. Some of our hottest parts of summer are yet to come.

I don’t mean to sound depressing. Driving through town you can see how the drought has hit our town. Higher water rates have forced many to cut back on watering their yards and without the rain, much of the town’s yards have gone dormant. I know many of you aren’t growing gardens this year either.

? ? ? ?

UPDATE: We did get some rain on July3rd and it helped, but we need more!

This weekend we saw our son Joey off for his three week tour to Europe. He and John Nixon will be visiting some of the old AFS students that have lived with John the past 4 years.

Europe may never be the same.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 27, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Something strange is happening to Ronda and I. It was brought to our attention by our cousins a few weeks ago.

We were sitting on the front porch in our deck chairs and commenting on how beautiful the birds were singing, how we loved to watch the humming birds and just sit on the porch and play with our grandson.

Our cousin pops up and said, "You’re turning into our parents. You guys are OLD!"

Wait a minute.... We’re only 5 years older than them. But we do enjoy hanging out with their parents!

It got me thinking. There are warning signs that we are getting older. We just announced that we have been in business in Medicine Lodge for the past 20 years.

There are other indicators:

All my favorite music is now in the bargain bin at Wal-Mart.

90% of the time I actually spend in front of a computer is for real work.

A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer considered "pretty good stuff."

About half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

One of my most prized possessions is my lawn mower. I can tell you everything about it.

Conversations with people my own age often turn into "dueling ailments."

Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

The clothes I put away until they came back in style are now in style, but I can’t fit into them.

I spent last weekend getting intimate with a chain saw after a freakish storm uprooted trees and peeled shingles off of our home north of town. After cutting trees and then spending a few hours on a roof in 100+ heat I realized it takes longer to rest up than it did to get tired in the first place.

The good news is that there are fewer things in life to learn the hard way!

Have a great week and a happy and safe 4th of July!

 

KWIBS - From June 20, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I renewed my membership to the NRA this past week and I got a gift from them in the mail on Saturday.

I opened the package with great anticipation and pulled out a ball cap that said, "140 Years of Freedom - NRA". I put the hat on with pride and showed my son Nick.

"Nice hat!" he said.

I put it on his head. Nick took it off to adjust the size and looked at the label.

"Hey, this thing was made in China," he said.

Seriously, the NRA can’t find a hat maker in America? You speak of freedoms and you don’t support your country. I can’t tell you how disappointed I am at them and yes, they will be getting a letter from me.

Speaking of China....

China is the largest foreign creditor to the United States, holding more than $1 trillion in Treasury debt as of March. Recent discussion of a U.S default on its interest payments to China has their country up in arms. A default could undermine the U.S. dollar. So, if this hat is a deal-breaker, then by all means, keep buying Chinese hats....

? ? ? ?

For the past couple of years, it’s been my duty to disrupt the Rucker’s wheat harvest. This year was different though. They worked so fast by the time I got down there, they were done.

Flint and Gary have ground just to the south of us and work with some pretty neat old open-cab style combines that are probably from the late 50s or early 60s. I love to watch those guys work with those machines and I try to go down with a cooler of beverages for them during harvest.

I saw them cutting late Friday evening a week ago and ran home to fill up my cooler. By the time I got there, they were gone.

It appears that much of harvest has been completed for our area. Some got the good news that it wasn’t as bad as everyone expected. I know it wasn’t good news for everyone though.

? ? ? ?

If I’m not careful, this could be my last column. What I am about to write about could be the most controversial thing I have ever written about in my paper.

I stopped in to see our county commissioners on Wednesday of last week to show them a proclamation and ordinance for the City of Guymon, OK in an email to all Kansas media outlets.

I received the email the night before and couldn’t sleep all night thinking about it.

The proclamation was implemented last week prohibiting the sale, distribution, firing, igniting, lighting or exploding of any fireworks due to the severe drought.

In recent months we have reached nearly a state of emergency with severe drought conditions all across Kansas, especially so in parts of Western Kansas.

The 4th of July is just a few weeks away and as one of my favorite holidays. I love the displays and I know so many folks that are so responsible with their fireworks, but I am afraid that our area may need to consider restrictions this holiday.

I can already hear my phone ringing and hear the grinding of pencils on paper as you frantically write nasty letters to the editor. Here me out. I don’t want anyone to think I am a fun hater. I am just very concerned about how dry it is. I know many of you personally that do a lot in fireworks sales during the summer for the 4th of July and depend on that income, so I write this opinion thinking about how my concerns could affect you.

We’ve seen the devastation in parts of Texas and Arizona and in to New Mexico. Fires that are burning out of control and fire fighters exhausted and overworked. These same conditions are worsening for many Kansas Counties. Emergency funding and lifted restriction for grazing are already in effect for our county as well as surrounding counties.

I am not alone in my concern for public safety during this extended drought. Guymon is only following the example of many counties and communities that are banning fireworks this year. Finney county was the last to join in the ban of sales and discharge of fireworks.

The Garden City Telegram reports fire officials fear they wouldn't have enough manpower to cover all the fires that could occur on the Fourth of July because of the extremely dry weather. The city of Garden City also has canceled its Fourth of July show.

County and fire officials have agreed to ban the sale and discharge of fireworks within county limits during this year's Fourth of July season due to dry weather conditions that increase the likelihood of fires.

On Tuesday, June 14, Governor Rick Perry considered Travis County’s order declaring a local state of disaster and banning the sale and use of any fireworks. Perry has indicated that he would grant an extension of the order until July 5.

Commissioners also voted unanimously to prohibit certain fireworks - skyrockets with sticks and missiles with fins.

County Judge Sam Biscoe said he signed the order over the lunch break. If drought conditions change, he said commissioners have the authority to lift the disaster declaration and fireworks ban.

Comanche County Commissioners will be meeting Tuesday with their fire chief to discuss similar restrictions and possibly even a ban because of the low amount of precipitation that we’ve had in recent weeks and months.

I hope our county and city officials consider the risks this 4th of July and do what is right to protect our homes, property, livestock and our very lives in this terribly dry season.

A few weeks ago, someone in our church asked Dennis Colle to pray for our area to receive rain and he stood up and asked God to give us the blessing of rain. Within 24 hours we got some and we were all so thankful. Dennis, we need you to step up to the plate and pray some more. In fact, we all should be praying for that very same thing. God willing, we can all celebrate another fun and safe 4th of July. If God has other plans, I hope our county commissioners and officials consider some sort of plan for public safety.

? ? ? ?

There is an interesting number on this week’s front page. It is Volume 21, Issue 1. This edition marks 20 years for The Gyp Hill Premiere!

The bets were on in 1991. I heard from a friend that one person gave us 6 months before we would be out of business. Another person gave us no more than 1 year. Because of some great people, we’re celebrating our 20th birthday today. There won’t be any big celebrations, just great satisfaction in doing something we love to do - print a newspaper. I remember my Grandpa Bill telling me, "You know, you have ink in your blood?" I always thought that was icky as a child, but now I understand.

We have you to thank most of all. Without our readers and advertisers we wouldn’t have made it.

We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 13, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

A few of important dates are coming up this week.

June 17, is our anniversary. Ronda and I were married in 1988, making it our 23rd wedding anniversary. I looked on the internet to see what that would be as far as a gift goes and was surprised that it was a silver plate. Ronda and I aren’t much on silver, but I’m pretty excited about our 24th anniversary. That’s the year you’re supposed to give a musical instrument! I’m already thinking about how cool it will be to get a vintage Gibson SG Bass guitar. It’s not really going to be a good year for Ronda. I am the one with the musical instrument fetish.

Just last weekend I bought a trombone and a paddle boat. They are not to be used together. I just stumbled on to them while hitting the Junefest garage sales.

Ronda: "What are you going to do with a trombone?"

Me: "I don’t know, but it’s so cool."

I have a small collection of things like, slide whistles, harmonicas, guitars, basses, drums, keyboards and even kazoos... Some of them I play, some of them just hang on the walls as decorations. I have always loved music and musical instruments.

I kind of got off track a little bit.

The second important date is June 19, 2011.

Father's Day is coming up this Sunday and I was thinking about the joys and struggles associated with fatherhood.

"Father" is one of those titles that demands respect, but often gets much less. I remember that I was far from the perfect child growing up. I know I gave my father grief.

Now that I am a father (of 21 years now) and a grandfather, I realize that you take the good with the bad and you try your best in every situation to, as the song goes, "teach your children well."

Most ot the time I probably come off sounding like I am nagging and ragging on my kids, but my hope is that they will learn, not only from their mistakes, but mine as well.

It’s a blessing to still have a dad. My dad has struggled with Altzhiemer’s for the past several years, but still has some good days. I love you dad. Happy Father’s Day.

I’m also very blessed to be a dad. I have three great children, a son-in-law and a grandson too. Joey, Bree, Nick, Devin and Kycen: I expect great things from you this year! *wink*. Wouldn’t it be great to get that bass guitar now instead of waiting to get it for me and your mother’s 24th anniversary? (Worn Cherry finish - item #513285 at Musician’s Friend website if you are interested).

Finally, the last important date is next Monday, June 20th. This date will be Issue 21, Week 1 of The Gyp Hill Premiere. It marks 20 years of publication for us. We thank you for that!

 

KWIBS - From June 6, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

And the headlines read: "Oops, we screwed up." I am speaking of the story on the Johnson family from May 30th’s issue. I take responsibility for the mistake. We didn’t get the story continued and it sort of just ended on the front page without actually ending. I apologize to the Johnsons and our readers and we have reprinted that story on page 10 of this week’s paper.

? ? ? ?

After a long weekend many of us came back to Main Street to discover we had lost a business. Well, we didn’t actually lose the business, but it lost its building.

Sometime during the evening or night on Monday, the roof at the Country Club Wellness Center collapsed. I don’t mean, ceiling tiles. I mean part of the roof actually collapsed in on some of the exercise equipment and new aerobic flooring that was just installed three weeks ago.

Barb Ransom is the manager for the fitness center and showed us inside on Tuesday morning. You could see the blue sky. Nearly 1/3 of the building collapsed.

It almost feels like the death of a friend, losing a building like this. Fortunately, the fitness center will reopen in the Middle School down in the cafeteria. In the meantime, the building is somewhat condemned and blocked off to prevent injury. It was by the grace of God that no one was in the building when it happened and no one was injured.

The collapse raises new concerns about the condition of Main Street. Aging structures and lack of maintenance is a recipe for disaster. It brought back memories of our building’s front collapsing back in the early 1990s. It nearly shut us down for 3 months while new fronts were put on this office and our building next door. Close examination showed deteriorating mortar and brick. Wind eventually pulled the faces of the buildings completely away from the walls.

Seeing the fallen roof made me think of what communities like Sun City and Lake City felt when they saw buildings crumbling in their once vibrant towns.

It gives new purpose and drive to the recent Medicine Lodge Main Street program. It seems like a step backwards, but it might be just the thing we need to prove the worth of such a program. Marcia Lawrence recently announced that our town has been officially accepted to the "Inside Track" tier. It’s going to take a lot of work and money, but isn’t our town worth it?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 30, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

All I can say to Mr. Harold Camping is, we all make mistakes. It’s not like it’s the end of the world or anything.

But if at first you don’t succeed, guess again? Now Mr. Camping is predicting October 21 as the new "end of the world" date. His original calculations were off he said, "by a few months." He’s also made predictions in the past. His last one, also incorrect, was for "between September 15 and 27 of 1994."

This so called "Bible Scholar", forgot one very important scripture. Mark 13:32 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

No where did I read, ".. and Harold Camping."

In Acts we read: 1:7 He said to them: It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority.

I feel sorry for those folks who invested their money in his false witnessing. I don’t feel sorry for anyone who invests in his October 21st prediction. I read where many people had quit their jobs, maxed out their credit cards and gave all of their belongings away.

Speaking of the end of the world, obviously it didn’t happen this weekend. I’m sort of glad. I had plans and was out of town. I would really prefer the end of the world to be on a Thursday before deadline. If I had my say of course.

Justin and I and our wives decided it would be fun to drive to Oklahoma City this past weekend and surprise former editor, David Fasgold. We had learned that his band, The Mighty Regulars, was playing in front of the Ford Center for the Thunder vs. Maverick’s game on Saturday evening. Secretly, Justin and I had hoped that David would let us play a song or two with them, but that didn’t happen! Joey also wanted to try and get a ticket to the playoff game. That also didn’t happen!

What did happen was Justin and I helping a man who passed out because of the heat. "Bob" had a ticket and was from Dallas. He fainted and cracked his head open on the concrete. After several minutes, EMTs arrived and took Bob away. We didn’t even think about asking to buy his ticket from him.

We got down to Bricktown at about 5 p.m. Saturday. David’s band was scheduled to go on stage at 6 p.m. We grabbed a bite to eat and made our way through a crowd of more than 20,000 Thunder fans to the front of the stage.

Justin, Doolie, Ronda, Joey and I all hid off to the side of the stage and waited for them to start playing. I pulled a wrestling mask out of my pocket and put it on. It was show time.

I paced back and forth across the front of the stage. David stared at me with a, "who is this weird-o," look on his face.

To be fair, I blended in perfectly with the masked man wearing a cape and riding a bicycle. I also fit in with the clown and the dude with the basketball goal strapped to his head that people where throwing balls at. Finally, I stood right in front of David and sang along with him to Pink Floyd’s "Time". Halfway through the song, I ripped off my mask and the biggest grin formed on David’s face. Then Justin came out from behind the speakers and his grin got even bigger. If he had smiled any bigger his ears would have fallen into his mouth. We all gathered in front of David and rocked out to the rest of their two hour show. It was really fun.

The last song David and The Mighty Regulars played was REM’s "It’s The End Of The World." I had suggested David play this on Facebook on Friday. The crowd went wild.

Below is a picture of David, Justin and I after the show.

After we said our good-byes, we headed down into the middle of Bricktown. The first place we walked into we ran right into some familiar faces. Matt Tedrow and his wife Carla were coming out of the same club we were going into. Matt is the son of Stan and Becky Tedrow, formerly of Medicine Lodge. We visited the Tedrows a couple of years ago in Oklahoma City.

There are about 1.5 million people in the metro area of OKC and it’s pretty incredible to run into someone you know, especially during the injection of thousands more people coming to watch an NBA playoff game. To top that off, Matt told me that he and Carla rarely visit Bricktown and it was just by coincidence that they decided to go out for the evening.

We hung out with Matt and Carla and called it a night just around midnight. Due to the large number of people in town for the playoffs, we had to get a hotel out of the Bricktown area. We stayed at a hotel a few minutes down the road and took a shuttle back to get ready for bed. We all had to be up bright and early to head back to Kansas.

But like most people who were roaming Bricktown all evening, I started getting hungry. I suggested breakfast. Everyone took me up on it except Ronda. By this time it was about 1 a.m. and the only thing open was a Waffle House across the street between two truck stops. We got Ronda back in the room and we headed out for some omelettes!

We ran across the busy intersection when suddenly there were police cars and officers with guns drawn all over the parking lot. We had just missed the actual commotion. Apparently, the short order night cook had a bad evening and decided to take out a large knife and waive it crazily at the customers. He was arrested and taken to jail.

I asked the waitress, "Can we still get breakfast?"

We did get breakfast and a small discount for the inconvenience. We made it back to our rooms for a good night’s sleep and were up and home by noon on Sunday. Crazy weekend!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 23, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

We all have things that just drive us crazy. Sane or insane, you can probably think of a few things that really "push your buttons". I had a few that I was thinking about this week, when my mom sent me an email titled, "What’s the difference between snot and cauliflower?" The answer: Kids won’t eat cauliflower....

Things That Can Drive A Sane Person Insane:

· The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper that never works.

· You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic tag in the middle of them.

· The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.

· The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.

· You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

· There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING!

· You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

· Three hours and three meetings after lunch you look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck to your front tooth.

· You slice your tongue licking an envelope.

· Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

· You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.

· The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.

· You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7 PM instead of 7 am.

· You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

· You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it. (me)

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 9, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I only get three special columns like this in my lifetime. The first one happened back in 2008 when my daughter graduated.

This is the second time one of my three children will graduate from MLHS. Joey will take those steps across the stage on Saturday with 38 other classmates.

It’s super tough to not be emotionally attached when putting together any senior edition for our paper. It’s even more-so when your kid is in the class.

And what a great group of kids they are. As I placed their senior photos and their baby photos on the page, I couldn’t help but to remember some really good moments in these kids’ lives. Because Joey went to school with most of them since preschool, I consider them all family.

I’m especially proud of Joey. My oldest son has grown up to make his mother and I very proud. He may not be at the top of his class, but he’s accomplished so much during his high school years. He’d be too modest to mention any of those things, but I think I’ve earned the right to be proud of him.

Several years back, Joey took an interest in going to Mexico with the UMC youth to help build a home for a pastor and his family in the Sonora Province. It was a life-changing experience for him that made him appreciate the blessings we have in America.

Joey also got very involved with AFS. He was the student president of our local chapter this year. As I write this, he’s on a trip to Wichita with his group.

He’s far more courageous than I was at his age. Joey and a friend from Germany even took off over the summer and spent a week in New York City, where he learned to navigate the subway system and busy airports across the country. He also went out to California with Jim and Cathy Colborn for a whirlwind trip up the 101. He paid for all of this by himself, working many long hours after school and on weekends.

He is planning on a trip to Europe after school is out. He’s excited to see friends he’s made through AFS.

Joey has always been someone to count on as a hard worker. He’s been employed by John Nixon for the past four years working auctions and has been at White’s for the past two years, carrying many of your groceries. I always smile when someone says to me, "You have the nicest son."

Even with all of his travels and experiences, he’s unsure about his future. It’s been something we’ve discussed and prayed about for a while now. Joey has always told us that he wants to be a beach bum. Whatever he decides to be is okay with me. I couldn’t be prouder of him.

The world awaits him and it will be a better place because of him no matter where he goes or what he does.

I love you, buddy. Congratulations to you and the class of 2011.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 2, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

It always amazes me that while one part of the country is praying for rain to come, another is praying for it to stop.

Just a short ways east of us, flash floods and deadly storms have riddled the area. Here we barely get a drop. What small amounts we did get is of little use now to area farmers. It won’t be a record breaking year for our area wheat producers.

I’m getting old enough that I remember significant years of precipitation. I don’t have all the facts, but I remember back in 1999 we began breaking ground on our home. We’d just gotten the basement walls poured and the subfloor on in late April. The first of May came and rains didn’t stop for over 11 days. I think we got somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 inches that month. It washed out my driveway and broke a small dam on our pond. This year, we’re about to lose that pond to the drought.

But we’re in so much better shape than parts of Texas. In 1999, the same year as our house was built, we took a trip to Amarillo, TX to SCUBA Lake Meredith. The lake is located 30 miles from Amarillo and was a fantastic fresh water SCUBA-diving spot. I just learned a few weeks ago that an ongoing drought in that area has all but dried up the big lake. The area that we dove down to 25’ is now dry earth.

The lake has gone down so much, in fact, that a plane reported missing on January 27, 1984 was discovered back in June of 2008. The water had gone down enough that the wreckage appeared. That’s a lot of water to dry up.

Other parts of Texas have just burned away. Over 1.65 million acres have burned this year. Hundreds of homes have been destroyed. That’s twice as much ground that usually burns in a given year in Texas. At least two fire fighters have died fighting these fires.

Just down the road from us in Missouri....

Rivers and creeks have already flooded. The Mississippi was at or approaching major flood stage in several communities Easter Sunday. Many dams broke in the area.

The Missouri Department of Transportation reported dozens of road and highway closures in eastern and southern Missouri. U.S. 61 has been shut down due to flooding near the Iowa border, and U.S. 160 was closed in several spots in far south-central Missouri.

All of this and then tornados on Wednesday that killed more than 250 people in 6 states. Just tragic... It leaves one humbled to think of the power of these storms.

Mother Nature is a moody one these days.

 

KWIBS - From April 25, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I once ran in to Kirstie Alley in Wichita at a gift shop. I was so excited.

Alley is from Wichita and last I knew, her dad still has a place there.

I recognized her, despite the lack of makeup and fancy clothes. She was in gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt. Her hair was pulled back, but it was still Kirstie Alley.

I don’t know what came over me. I could have complemented her in her role in Look Who’s Talking, Blind Date, Village of the Damned, or her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I didn’t even mention Cheers, which she played Rebecca Howe. I mean, it was one of the most popular sitcoms on TV at the time.

Instead, here's what came out of my mouth: "I loved you in Star Trek II, The wrath of Kahn, where you played that hot Vulcan chick, Lieutenant Saavik." I think I was even wearing a Star Wars or a Battlestar Galactica T-shirt at the time. My brother-in-law was with me and he about ran out of the store. She actually signed an autograph for me across the top of a Wichita Eagle. It's still in a frame in my office.

I’ve never hid the fact that I am a geek. My DVR list on my television gives it away.

- In a fight between William Shatner and Patrick Stewart, I think Shatner would win. However, I think Patrick Stewert would make a fine president in 2012, as long as he isn’t serving on The United Federation of Planets Council.

- I learned from Battlestar Galactica that a secton is a Colonial measurement of time and analogous to one Earth week. Its plural form is "sectons". More on this next secton.....

- The recent bravery displayed by the 50 Fukushima Nuclear Plant workers reminded me of the time Spok gave his life at the end of Wrath of Kahn saying, "Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few."

A dear departed friend of mine, Jo Meador, gave me a poster years ago for my birthday. It was titled, "All I need to know from life, I learned from Star Trek." The poster stills hangs in our storage room in our office.

Seek out new life and civilizations.

Non-interference is the Prime Directive.

Keep your phaser set on stun.

Humans are highly illogical.

There's no such thing as a Vulcan death grip.

Live long and prosper.

Having is not so pleasing as wanting; it is not logical but it is often true.

Infinite diversity in infinite combinations (IDIC).

Tribbles hate Klingons (and Klingons hate Tribbles).

Enemies are often invisible -- like Romulans, they can be cloaked.

Don't put all your ranking officers in one shuttlecraft.

When your logic fails, trust a hunch.

Insufficient data does not compute.

If it can't be fixed, just ask Scotty.

Even in our own world, sometimes we are aliens.

This one is mine, "If you aren’t a regular on the show, always ask for any uniform color other than red."

When going out into the Universe, remember, "Boldly go where no one has gone before!"

KWIBS - From April 18, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Mike Roe forwarded an interesting article to me about rural America.that was in the Hutchinson News recently. I contacted John Montgomary, the News’ Publisher and he has given us permission to reprint the article giving credit to The Hutch News and the writer. We sort of have an "in" with the Hutchinson News. That’s where The Gyp Hill Premiere is printed each week.

The article is a good read and applies to our area. I was also sent an article from Kansas Governor Sam Brownback this week outlining a Rural Opportunity Zones Bill he recently signed into law. This bill will give incentives to those willing to relocate into rural Kansas. Barber County is one of the counties that qualifies for the incentives. You can read that article on page 13 of this week’s Premiere.

Despite departure trend, small-town residents eye ways to sell rural America

By Amy Bickel - The Hutchinson News - abickel@hutchnews.com

LEOTI - A sign in a window of an empty storefront beckons visitors with a plea: Move to Leoti.

The sign has been there for several years, the maker probably hopeful to attract the attention of a passing motorist in an attempt to stabilize the downward slide in population that has happened for decades in Wichita County.

After all, with farms continuing to disappear from the landscape, leaders in almost every small town dream of getting bigger. They dream of manufacturers bringing jobs, of vibrant downtowns and of families with children populating their schools.

Yet several of the state's agriculture-based communities haven't survived the growing trend - the decline of population as youths turn to the bright lights of bigger cities, never to return.

When population wanes in a town, the bank closes. So does the grocer, the hospital and the hardware store. The ultimate demise, however, is the loss of a school, from which many communities never recover.

It's a fear of any remote Kansas county, said Wichita County resident Terry Woodbury. The rural community promoter, however, see the decades-old trend as a battle that can be won.

That's because there is optimism on the prairie, he said. Residents want to stop the bleeding.

County leaders are developing industrial parks to lure small businesses. Some are addressing needs, such as affordable housing, quality day care and Internet availability. Many have tried to boost community pride and activity, including starting recreation programs and sprucing up main streets.

"I think we are in the latter days of decline because of our attachment to agriculture," said Woodbury, who operates Public Square Communities LLC, a business geared to sustaining rural areas. "We've got Internet. You can come here, have high quality of life, safety, good schools, know the neighbor, drive for three hours and go to Colorado Springs. Rural communities are starting to sell that and believe in it."

"I think we are on the front end of an urban to rural transition."

Smallest county, big plans

Woodbury's assessment comes after nearly a century-long slide for some Kansas counties. From Montana and the Dakotas down to the Texas Panhandle, the rural Great Plains has been losing citizens since around World War II.

In all, 77 Kansas counties have lost population in the past decade, according to census numbers released earlier this month. Of those, 23 saw declines of more than 10 percent. Western counties took the biggest hit, with an increase in only seven counties in this half of the state.

"The irony of rural America is the thing that has built our communities is now depopulating them," Woodbury said of farming. "We are losing people and we have to think different and come up with different economies."

Even in the state's smallest county, Greeley, with 1,247 people, leaders have recognized the issue. Tribune, the county seat, sits isolated in the center of the west-central Kansas county, largely surrounded by crop fields and pasture. It's 86 miles from Garden City and more than 60 from Goodland.

County population peaked in 1960 with 2,087 people. Then decline began, slowly but steadily.

In all, the county has lost 40 percent of its population in the past 50 years, with 18.71 percent coming in the past 10 - the fourth biggest drop in the state.

Those figures might seem grueling to turn around to most people, except Christy Hopkins.

She couldn't deny she wasn't disappointed and a little shocked at the census numbers after five years of hard work, she said as she sat in her office in early March, preparing to leave the next day for a trip to Vietnam with a leadership group.

"We're not giving up by any means," she said matter-of-factly.

The issue isn't one that sneaked up on Greeley County residents. After consecutive years of bad harvest and the acceleration in people moving away, community leaders held a survival meeting in 2004. More than 150 people attended. They hired Woodbury to offer advice and direction.

Woodbury helped develop focus groups on government, education, health care and business. Residents zeroed in on certain areas and began setting goals for the community.

Community leaders have been busy ever since.

They started adult and youth recreation programs. County officials invested some money into building a dairy - eventually attracting a buyer.

Meanwhile, one team of residents helped form a community foundation to serve the interests and goals of the county. Another team is dealing with affordable housing. There is a marketing team, a welcoming team, a health services team and a team for downtown revitalization.

While some businesses have closed, including a company that made hazardous-material trailers, about 17 other new businesses have come to town, including a feedlot, she said.

Residents also voted to unify the county and city governments in 2007. And residents in November passed a bond issue for the school - despite tough economic times, Hopkins said. Meanwhile, those who work for the community, such as referee at games, are paid in "Greeley Bucks," which help support local businesses.

She wished the numbers had reflected growth, she said. However, positive change is happening no matter the numbers.

"We really are doing a lot of things to help stabilize the community," Hopkins said. "We even have an action team focused on business transition assuring that our businesses here today will still be there tomorrow."

While every county will have their own unique plan, Woodbury calls Greeley's efforts exemplary.

"These communities are shifting gears, developing a way past the agriculture mind-set," he said, but added it will take time. "This is not a microwave job. This is slow cooking."

Efforts in other counties

Leaders in other counties are giving the same rallying cry.

Shannon McCormick, who owns Main Street Supply in downtown Lakin in Kearny County, which has nearly 4,000 people, said he thinks the decline of farmers has stabilized.

"I don't know if farms can get any larger," he said, then added, "unless, I guess, we have robots driving the tractors."

Still he noted, some counties, including Kearny, can take advantage of the county's close proximity to a regional hub. For Lakin, it's Garden City, which is just 22 miles away. His county is hoping to begin a program that allows residents to fix up property and, in return, pay the same in property taxes for a period of time.

In Edwards County, population 3,000, officials started a tourism committee to lure in more visitors to the county attractions, such as its national carnival heritage museum, said Economic Development Director Linette Miller.

The county also is addressing affordable housing and fixing up dilapidated properties, she said.

And in the Lane County town of Dighton, which is nearly an hour away from regional hubs like Hays and Garden City, county Economic Development Director Dan Hartman brushes off the current decline, calling it beatable.

He says this as he takes a drive to the site of what some locals have dubbed a "Field of Dreams" - a roughly 60-acre industrial park complete with paved roadways that has one business, an oil well service company.

Hartman, however, said he plans for more, noting he's had prospects considering the site for development.

Other efforts are helping make the town more attractive. Local insurance agent and Main Street business owner John Levin, who serves on the economic development board, said the board is matching up to $1,000 for business owners who do storefront beautification projects. And, Hartman said, by next year, the county should have a community garden.

What Hartman is promoting, he says, is a lifestyle in the state's second smallest county at 1,750 people. Living much of his life in California managing a business, he drove an hour to work each way.

"We don't have a Walmart, but we don't have a crime rate that is sky-high, either," Hartman said. "It's a community where I could sit on the front porch and smoke a cigarette and wave at people I know."

He gets tired of the hubbub "that rural America is dying," he said.

"It's not dying. It's changing," he said, adding that with technology, one can work from anywhere. "The only thing wrong with rural America is the way we talk about it. I personally think we're going to see growth in the next 20 or 30 years."

He pointed to the local classified advertisements, saying they listed seven or eight jobs. But the question is whether the town's college-educated youth will return for that kind of pay. Maybe, Hartman said, leaders can attract college graduates back who have an entrepreneurial spirit, noting there are already two success stories in downtown Dighton.

Young couple Joe and Rachel Schulz are running Joe's family's new pizza restaurant. Joe's sister, Margo, 24, recently purchased the town's flower shop, and sister Michelle, 21, who helps her older sister, plans to open a bakery and coffee shop. She already does some special orders.

Pioneering youth are what towns want to attract, Woodbury said.

"Rural communities have to quit thinking we need to pave a highway of gold to get them back here," he said. "These wonderfully brilliant kids, we don't have to create a job for them. Tell them to come home, bring their job and create it. No one paved the way for my family when they settled in Leoti, Kansas. They paved the way and created it."

Promise in the heartland

There is promise in the heartland, said Laszlo Kulcsar, a Kansas State University professor and director of the Kansas Population Center.

Take Greensburg, for instance, he said. The Kiowa County seat, stricken by a tornado in 2007, has reinvigorated itself into a "green town," attracting youth and technology as the city continues to rebuild.

There's also a new trend for retirees to find a place away from urban cities to retire, he said. Although they don't bring children to populate the schools, they do have a savings they want to spend before they die.

Yet, finding a niche to attract residents is the real key, he said. The slogan of good schools, good hospitals and a slow place of living with limited crime is a dime a dozen.

"There are 30,000 places just like this," he said of rural America. "In the end, these places are going to lose young people no matter what. The question is, how many young people can be retained."

Hartman remains hopeful. He said he's been working with a group promoting a new transmission line being built by ITC Great Plains LLC. The line goes from Medicine Lodge to Spearville and, eventually, the second phase of the project will take the line from Spearville to Axtell, Neb.

That means jobs, he said, whether it is for building the line or the future wind farms that a transmission line could bring. Kansas' abundant wind could be the rescuer for many of the small communities along the way.

Growing a community is possible, Woodbury said, but only with a change of attitude.

He said in the 16 communities he works in, changing attitudes is sometimes one of the top problems to combat.

"Rural people really have to believe they have a future," he said, but added, "The hardest thing for people is to change."

 

KWIBS - From April 11, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Boys and girls, men and women, we just think differently.

Take party planning...

In a little over a month, my oldest son Joey will be graduating from MLHS. With any graduation comes a party and the planning.

We sat down in the kitchen Sunday night and Joey’s mamma made the big announcement, "We need to talk about the graduation party."

Joey and I just groaned.

There is just nothing a man wants to do less than plan a party. Especially a graduation party. Don’t get us wrong ladies, we’ll go to parties and participate, but we don’t really want to be involved with the planning.

Guys’ party planning: Cooler, check; Ice, check; Beverage, check; Music, check; Chairs, check.

She made us sit there and name off people we wanted to invite to the party.

I said, "I can more easily name the ones I don’t want to invite."

Joey piped in, "I want a band and girls dancing."

Hmm.... so did I. Keep going Joey.

Ronda just glared at us.

"No, I want to know who your friends are and who we want to have over to celebrate your graduation," she said firmly. "I also need to order food, drinks, get napkins, have a cake made, get matching table cloths, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Joey and I just glazed over.

Just when we thought it ended, we were informed of a stop we were making while in Wichita this week.

"Boys, we’re going to Party City", said Ronda.

Party City. Wow, a whole city partying. Joey and I were actually thinking ‘this could be cool’.

If cool is looking at 40 different colors of napkins, forks and spoons, then Party City is your place. Most men don’t care. We’re content with the clear plastic utensils, cups and plates, but no.

My only contribution to this stop was buying a medal that will go around Joey’s neck that day that says, "Winner".

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 4, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Many events in one’s life mark great accomplishments. The birth of children and grandchildren, graduations, promotions, and an occasional big birthday make up the list.

I’d never really thought about retirement until last week. My mom, Joyce Noland, recently retired after 35 years of working for the same person. An accomplishment that few can lay claim to. My mom worked for Alan Goering shortly after he began practicing law in Medicine Lodge way back in the 1970s. She was with him when he started his own practice in the 1980s and was there when he later partnered with Bob Slinkard. Her last day was March 31st.

Alan and Bob held a very nice reception and dinner for my mom at the Vintage House in Burlington, OK on Friday, March 25th. He said some very nice things about my mom that I know brought tears to many at the table. He also said some very funny things as well.

I commend mom on her loyalty to Alan and I also commend Alan on putting up with my mom for all those years! She was surrounded by her family, coworkers and friends. It was touching to see her honored that way and I can’t tell you how proud I am of her. It’s a great accomplishment and I know she will miss her friends and family at Goering and Slinkard. Thank you Alan and Bob for being so good to her.

? ? ? ?

Probably the biggest news this week is the return of Days of Yore. The column, disappeared from the newspaper along with the folding of The Barber County Index back in 2009 and it’s always been something our readers have requested. After some thinking, and some prodding from Doris, we’ve decided to resurrect it. Doris has spent countless hours combing through microfilm and even our own archives for stories to share with our readers.

? ? ? ?

In preparation for Peace Treaty and it being our 20th anniversary, we’ve decorated our window at the office with some newspaper memorabilia. We’re looking for anything that fits in with our motif. If you have something you’d like to share with us, we’d love to have you drop it by!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 28, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

A petition is being circulated to force City Charter Ordinance 19 to a public vote.

Should you sign it?

I don’t know.

Jan Bertoglio has started and is circulating the petition. I called her and we got together last week to discuss its merits or lack thereof.

"It’s no good," she said.

The ordinance gives an administrator the authority to make certain appointments and allows for disciplinary actions in accordance with the personnel manual, all of which were passed by a 2/3 vote city council majority.

This move has some folks in the community nervous. Some even believe it was a sneaky move by the council to pass such an ordinance. I suppose timing is everything.

I spoke with Councilmember Roger Lukens last week. He explained there was no intention of this being done quickly or behind closed doors. In fact, we published discussion on this ordinance in at least one paper before it passed. Lukens told me that this ordinance has been one of the visions the council has had for quite some time now.

Perhaps passing it so close to election is what people don’t like.

Removing the powers from the mayor and giving them to an administrator is not something our one-and-only mayoral candidate likes. Bob Stutler and I have been discussing this topic over the past few days.

"I don’t like it either," he said. I want to have the same level playing field that every mayor before me had."

I see his point and I support Bob whole-heartedly as the new mayor.

The reason I support him is that he is competent to deal with those appointments and issues. Not every past mayor has been able to and we may not have a mayor in the future that is as capable and experienced as Mr. Stutler.

Thus a reason for such an ordinance.

One thing to remember is that regardless of an action by a city administrator, that person still answers to the mayor and council. If they [the council members] don’t like the decision, they have the power to remove that administrator and get one that is on board with their line of thinking.

For the record, this ordinance is not the dream child or an evil scheme conjured up by our current administrator. He did not write it. In fact, it comes from an example of the charter ordinance used by the city of Greensburg, KS. According to Austin Gilley, many third class cities in Kansas have adopted similar ordinances.

"It’s an attempt to clear up confusion and accountability," he told me. And it is the direction that our current city council set when beginning the search for a new administrator.

Roger Lukens added, "Before [the charter ordinance] , it appeared that city employees had 7 bosses - the mayor, five councilmembers and the city administrator."

Gilley is indifferent about the ordinance. If it goes through the 60 day protest period without being recalled, great. If it doesn’t he assures me and my readers he is "very excited to work with the mayor and new council regardless of the outcome."

The outcome?

Jan Bertoglio says she has more than enough signatures to stop this ordinance from taking effect on April 22nd. The next step will be for a new council to decide whether to put it to a special election in 2012 or let the issue die.

My gut feeling is, it will die.

Should you sign it? I don’t know. Do you really understand the motivation behind the ordiinace? Probably not. Do you have all of the facts? I doubt it. Did I sign it? Nope, but I am one of those folks who works and calls Medicine Lodge my home - but lives outside the city limits. I don’t have to make that type of decision and I’m sort of glad I don’t have to!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 21, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Each year, Kansas Press sets aside to remind citizens how important transparency is in our participatory democracy.

This was actually done last week, March 13 through 19, but we were a little rushed with remodeling and trying to leave for a trip to Amarillo. I held it for this week.

Our country was founded on the principle that government is of the people, by the people and for the people.

As Alexis de Tocqueville wrote in his middle 19th century classic, "Democracy in America," the system of self-government we chose for ourselves was unique because we relied on each other, rather than royalty, to chart the course for our nation.

Tocqueville was fascinated that in America, we elected "people like us" to make decisions on our behalf, but we also decided that for democratic rule to succeed, we had to be participants in our own governance.

Sunshine Week, March 13 through 19 this year, was a reminder to elected officials and to those they serve that for America’s system of government to work, we have to have an informed citizenry. This requires unfettered access to the information necessary to keep us abreast of just what government is attempting to do on our behalf.

I commend the City of Medicine Lodge for their efforts at being a transparent government. Austin Gilley provides us with excellent information on the dealings within the city.

Sadly, while our political leaders often talk a good line when it comes to transparency, many fall short when the rubber meets the road.

In Topeka, for instance, the city is embroiled in a controversy about the apparent theft of scrap metal from a city construction site. The scrap reportedly was sold and the money shared by a handful of city employees.

The city manager and his team decided to handle the incident as a personnel matter rather than a criminal one, even leaving the city council in the dark for six months. Had "transparency" been the rule and not the exception, this controversy most likely would have been handled in a few days. It has continued to boil for six weeks and counting.

When the duly-elected city council members were blocked by city staff from getting access to documents about the theft, the council was forced to vote 9-0 to subpoena documents that had been withheld for "personnel" reasons.

What is wrong with this picture?

Each week, the attorney for the Kansas Press Association gets call after call from local newspaper staff writers and editors fighting roadblocks to information access thrown up by public officials. Whether it’s access to agenda packets, minutes or notice of meetings or the abuse of executive sessions, transparency seems to be no more than a campaign pamphlet bullet point for some public officials.

On Thursday (March 17), a bill was heard in the House Local Government Committee that would give cities, counties and school districts the "option" to name their own governmental website rather than their local newspaper as the official publication for public notices.

Never mind that a third of Kansans don’t have access to the internet. Never mind that the internet has been proven time and again to be unreliable and susceptible to hacking and manipulation while printed newspapers are verifiable, permanent, more likely to be seen and independent from government.

It’s ironic (maybe appalling is a better word) that this bill was heard during National Sunshine Week. It illustrates that far too many of our elected officials don’t understand why they alone should not be in control of public information.

Why is "sunshine" important?

"Publicity," said Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis , "is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases. Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants, electric light the most efficient policeman."

Brandeis was right.

If we are to remain a free nation and able to compete with the rest of the world in the 21st century, citizens must be well-informed. To be well-informed, government must operate in the light of day.

Doug Anstaett is executive director of the Kansas Press Association and contributed the information for this article.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 14, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

K. Noland Photo

Paint specialist and grandson to Kevin and Ronda Noland, Kycen Schaffer, prepares to do some painting in the office.

Well you may not see it as front page news, but we do.

Our one-month long remodeling project of the front of our office was completed during the middle part of last week.

We ran a little over on our budget, but we’re thrilled with the results! If you haven’t been in to see it, we’ve recarpeted, repainted, added a wall and put in a HUGE reception area. Doris and Ronda seem comfortable in their new space.

Spending the past few weeks huffing paint fumes, carpet seams and glue, I’m ready for warm weather so we can open the door!

Ronda and I spent countless hours just talking about what to hang on the walls. For years we had the same old pictures that hung, some by tape, to our walls and we wanted something that would scream MEDICINE LODGE. While at a recent Peace Treaty board meeting, I learned there were some of the older posters for sale, so I quickly hooked up with Sarah Whelan and bought all the posters from the time frame we have been in business, which is 1991 through present. With a trip to Hobby Lobby and some nails, we’ve created a neat tribute to our town’s famed Peace Treaty.

We still have the north wall to decorate. With our limited budget, we’re hoping to do better than some paint by numbers!

There’s a few people I want to thank.

Thank you Lee Wade for being ever so patient when working with me. Lee is a perfectionist and I am a hurry-up-and-get-it-done-er. Lee helped me get the counter set in place and didn’t allow me to cut any corners. Lee also did our finish work and built our wall and doorway.

Thank you Matt and Sean Forsyth. I boasted to them how I had gotten everything out of the front office before they laid carpet and only asked that they help us move it back in. They were much obliged, but I sort of tricked them. The new furniture was the heaviest made since the Egyptians carved out stone tables in 1500 B.C. We had to remove the door and with some grunting and sweating, we got the furniture back in.

Thank you Ann Bell for the new carpet! We love you. :)

And thank you customers for being so understanding while we remodeled! Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 7, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Sadly, free speech isn’t nice. It is often ugly and hurtful, painful to listen to and intended to cause distress.

But in the United States of America, it’s protected by the First Amendment to the Constitution. And Wednesday, the U.S. Supreme Court affirmed that basic principle in an 8-1 ruling in Snyder v. Phelps, a.k.a., the Westboro Baptist Church case.

Church members and Fred Phelps, their "minister," are infamous for their anti-gay protests at high-profile funerals, most notably, those of servicemen killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. They believe the wars and casualties are God’s revenge on America for "tolerating" homosexuals. Their shouting of anti-gay epithets and hoisting signs proclaiming "Thank God for dead soldiers" and "God hates fags" are designed to be inflammatory and provocative.

It was a brave act that the father of fallen Lance Cpl. Matthew A. Snyder filed a lawsuit against the church to stop them from spreading their message of hate at the funerals of soldiers killed in battle.

Veterans groups across the nation filed briefs with the Supreme Court in support of Snyder, as did the attorneys general of 48 states. The Westboro gang’s actions, their speech is simply hateful and disgusting.

Writing for the court, Chief Justice John Roberts said, "Speech is powerful. It can stir people to action, move them to tears of both joy and sorrow, and — as it did here — inflict great pain. ... (But) we cannot react to that pain by punishing the speaker."

Just as the Supreme Court ruled more than 30 years ago in 1977 that neo-Nazis could parade through the streets of the heavily Jewishh Skokie, Ill., so too do the Westboro homophobes have their right to protest and to express their views.

I understand the importance of freedom of speech all too well being in the business I am in. I just can’t see the point in allowing these whackjobs to protest at funerals of soldiers.

Only one Supreme Court Justice, Alito, had the courage to stand up to the hateful "free" speech.

The others feel it’s fundamentally what America is all about.

I dispute that wholeheartedly. This is what America has become and I fear it is still evolving into something even more repugnant.

KWIBS - From February 28, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Several weeks ago, I was inspired to make some changes in our office. After sitting in on the Main Street Medicine Lodge meeting last month, I began to think about the appearance of our office and presence on Main Street.

We’ve been here for 20 years this year and since that time have done little in the way of remodeling. Our desks are old and falling apart. Our carpet is stained, torn and faded. Our window is boring and our signage is showing its age. It was time for a change.

Since it is a Peace Treaty year and since Marcia Lawrence has been somewhat of a cheerleader for the upgrade in appearance of Main Street, we made the decision to do some upgrading in our offices a few weeks ago. We’re going to kick off this whole Main Street Medicine Lodge right here at The Gyp Hill Premiere. I contacted a friend in Wichita who recently closed down an office at the Epic Center. I bought his receptionist counter and other furniture, which took me most of the day to bring down three stories out of that building. Thank you to John Nixon for allowing me the use of his trailer. We’ve ordered new carpet from Forsyth’s which is schedule to be in the week of March 7th. We’ve had Lee Wade build us a new doorway, bought primer and paint and we’re going to town!

And the results thus far? We’re a mess in progress....

Customers entering our store last week were greeted by a folded up section of our carpet and a whole lot of clutter. Most managed not to trip over it. My mom sort of tripped over it, but she’s not considered a customer. As of this writing, our walls are half primed and painted. Most of our furniture is taken out and Doris and Ronda are operating out of boxes. The floor has some sheetrock dust and scraps and the office smells of primer.

In about a week, we will begin assembly of the new reception counter. During this time, we will be a little unorganized and we ask for your patience while we get things back in order. My plan right at the moment, is to move Ronda and Doris into the middle server room and have them share a phone between them for a few days. I hope to have their computers up and running so they can take care of customers.

We’re planning on being closed Monday-Wednesday(ish), March 7-9, while we put things back together that week.

When we get the inside finished up, we’ll be working on the outside of both our building and the Allegiance building. We’ll be doing some cleaning and replacing some signage during the spring and summer. We’re excited about "spiffying" things up for Peace Treaty and we encourage the rest of our community to do the same!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 21, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

My youngest son’s birthday is on Friday. Nick is turning 13! In honor of his 13th birthday, I would like to announce to my readers that he is now a teenager and knows everything!

It reminds me of the sign

TEENAGERS

Tired of Being Harassed

By Your Stupid Parents?

ACT NOW!

Move Out....

Get a Job...

Pay Your Own Bills.

DO IT WHILE YOU STILL KNOW EVERYTHING!

But my little Nicholas doesn’t act that way. Although he is becoming a little man and has entered adolescence, he is still my baby boy.

I’ve really enjoyed seeing his, sense of humor develop over the years. He’s got a quick wit, just like his old man. I’m proud of you buddy and I love you. Happy Birthday Nick! Summer is just around the corner!

 

? ? ? ?

"Those fluffy towels will bring you nothing but trouble," said Joey this week.

I nearly burned the office down - the second time in the past month for me. The first time it was a tinfoil lined plate in the microwave. This time it was a smell-good candle from Pat’s called "Fluffy Towels".

Wednesday was just nuts for me. I was on the phone, had one caller holding for me and was trying to fill out paper work on a desk covered in stacks of papers. I slid my candle to the back of the desk to have more room to write and ignited a pile of papers on my desk on fire.

I was calm, cool and collective. While continuing my conversation on the phone with my customer, I calmly said, "Hold just a second sir," and then said, "Doris, could you please assist me for a minute?" as I was holding the phone and flinging burning papers off of my desk, would grab another and blow it out, only for it to reignite. The look on Doris’s face was just priceless. It was a mixture of horror and amazement.

We just began a remodeling project in our office this week. For the next month or so, we are painting, putting in new furniture and new carpet. As Doris was wiping off the charred remains of paper off of my desk she said, "Either remodel or burn the place down, but make up your mind!"

I want to remodel, so they took my candle away from me. Now it smells like burnt fluffy towels in my office.....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 14, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Imagine a government that spoon-feeds it's citizens the information they want them to have, a state that controls the media, controls information about taxpayer funds and how they are spent, government that eventually controls the internet, newspapers, television and radio. It sounds like a communist regime or a bad sci-fi/horror flick, doesn't it?

It might sound like an alarmist's statement, but these things are closer to truth than you think and at least one of these is in the process of becoming reality right here in the state of Kansas.

HB2166 was introduced last week. It is, at best, the state's way of trying to eliminate an independent, proven source of communication that supplies the general public information about local government.

HB2166 gives municipalities, counties and schools an "option" to place these public notices on websites that they would designate as "official publication sources" - an option that would remove the information from the public’s view.

"Why have public notices always appeared in newspapers? It's simple: public notices are meant to be 'noticed.' If you want them to be noticed, you put them where that is most likely to occur," stated Doug Anstaett, Executive Director Kansas Press Association.

This attempt to sanction the placing of public notices on a government website is simply allowing the fox to guard the chicken house. Government should never be in control of its own information. We call that totalitarianism when other countries do it, and it's not a stretch to argue that this bill is a prescription for the worst kind of mischief from government.

Newspapers are the "watchdogs" and "activists" for fair and open government. For hundreds of years newspapers have been the leading source of supplying public notices and safeguarding the public's right-to-know about the actions of our city's, county's, school's and state's actions.

"Newspapers work because they are verifiable, you can't hack them like you can an internet site, they are a permanent record that cannot be altered or lost and they are guaranteed to be accurate by the publisher. In addition, affidavits of publication from newspapers have long been recognized as adequate notice in a court of law. How are you going to be able to guarantee a notice was published online, in a timely fashion and accurately? It can't be done," said Anstaett

It's not the first time that this concept or bill has come up. In fact, I think it's the third or fourth time in recent years. Each time the newspaper community and the general public have put a stop to it. The government waits patiently for complacency and when the time is right, they will pull the wool over our eyes. Lawmakers and some local governments will make the claim that it's all about saving money, but the truth is the average local government spends less than .0005% of its budget publishing notices in newspapers. For example, USD#254’s total budget exceeded $9 million in 2010. The district paid $474 in public notices to this newspaper in that same year. That’s .00005 of their budget spent notifying the public in our area. Taking that out of their budget would hardly "save" any significant funds.

Giving cities, counties and schools the option of placing their notices on state-run or sponsored websites removes the accountability of government and places the information on potentially hard to navigate sites and removes these legals from the public's eyes and scrutiny of the taxpayers. More than that, many questions arise: who will control the information? how will it be safeguarded and verified? will it be utilized and seen by the majority of the general public? Several more questions will come up.

Each week, the newspaper is printed, mailed, read and recorded for historical purposes. It has been the most reliable source of "hard" information in history and dates back to the birth of our great nation. This bill and these types of actions by our government, in reality, are attempts to eliminate "free" press.

Anstaett fears for the future of small town newspapers.

He said, "In addition, the effect of removing public notices would be devastating to our smaller newspapers. A number of them are hanging on by a thread in today's economy and this would likely spell the end of the road for a number of them. Local newspapers are very important to their communities. We have calculated after discussing this issue with our association members that we would — conservatively — stand to lose 50 newspapers in Kansas if public notice income went away. If public notices went away, and with it many newspapers, it would rob the people of Kansas of the information they need to keep an eye on their cities, counties, school districts and other governmental entities."

It's an issue we have and are watching very closely in our industry. Giving government the "option" of accountability is not acceptable in a free nation. Hold your elected officials' feet to the fire. Don't let them remove public notices from newspapers. Budget crunches are not an excuse to hide information from you. You have a right to know.

An "option" for governments to choose internet over newspapers will also give governments an upper-hand when newspapers demand accountability and transparency. Objective, fair reporting could be replaced by timidity and fear of losing important income for many newspapers. A threat of moving these public notices from newspapers to the internet could have a negative influence as to how newspapers report on local governments. It would be strong-arming the media to comply and it is not acceptable or fair to our readers.

This action, if passed, could mean the beginning of the end of the free press. Please contact your local representatives and tell them to stop passage of HB2166.

Two more bills of interest to newspapers and voters were filed Monday by the House Committee on Local Government. One is a good enhancement of both the open records and open meetings act; the other is another attack on public notice and the requirement for publishing certain notices in two or three consecutive weeks, cutting the requirement to one week plus the local government website.

HB 2185 would amend the civil penalties for violating KOMA and KORA to include in those who can bring an action "any person" rather than just the attorney general and county or district attorney. We believe it probably is a bill that won't see the light of day, but it came from a legislator, so it won't hurt to support it. It gives broad power to individuals to pursue KORA and KOMA violations.

The other bill, HB 2189, is a bill designed to reduce the number of consecutive insertions of certain public notices such as for the issuance of bonds, for sheriff's sales, for elections and for delinquent taxes. The bill would reduce those publications to once in the official county newspaper and also on the governmental entity's website.

As you can see, your Kansas legislators are trying to poke holes in a number of statutes on public notices, KORA and KOMA.

Thank you for your support of our newspaper and all of Kansas’s newspapers. Kevin Noland, Publisher

KWIBS - From January 31, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Our newspaper turns 20 years old in July of this year.

What reminded me of this event, was a birthday celebrated by a special friend of mine.

Bob Greer, Publisher of the Protection Press, turned 85 on January 20th. He almost forgot another important birthday during that same month, the 25th birthday of his newspaper.

Bob is one of my newspaper heroes. He still hammers out a weekly column in The Press titled "Bobbing Along Broadway". Back in 1986, Bob came to Medicine Lodge with his first edition of The Protection Press. I had the weekly pleasure of printing it on Wednesdays over the next few years until my dad sold the Index in 1990. Bob went into competition with the existing newspaper of 75 years, owned by a large chain. Does that sound familiar? His competition only lasted for a few months before the Protection Post vanished.

Sure, he was a younger, version of himself in 1986, but Bob has managed to keep his wits about him all these years, or kept what little he began with!

Over the past 20 years, Bob has stopped into my office to say "hi", usually monthly, on his way to "check up on his doctor in Wichita." He and his wife Wilma are always welcome visitors, even on the busiest days. He calls me "scooter boy", remembering my love of my Harleys years ago. On his way through, he uses my "facility" and steals a roll of toilet paper - his sense of humor.

Bob started his newspaper up on a wing and a prayer in 1986. He had many years of experience writing and editing, working at several newspapers in Kansas, Colorado and Nebraska.

Bob stated, "Ever since I was a kid of 5-6 years of age, I always wanted to be a newspaper person. I simply am in love with what I do. I am one of the lucky people you will meet: someone who loves what he does. And making big bucks is not one of my priorities."

I think I am a carved out, younger version of Bob Greer (probably a little better looking and more hip too, if you ask me)! I’m blessed to love what I do.

I called Bob just a couple of days before his 85th birthday, as I try to do every year, to tell him I was thinking of him. We talked for a while and he ended his conversation as he always does with, "I love you, old friend", to which I tell him the same.

Bob has been an inspiration to me over the years. Just a little more than 5 years after Bob started The Protection Press, Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere. Bob has a about 231 more newspapers under his belt than I do. He just printed issue 25, week 52 of The Press. That’s 1,302 (plus a couple more in the past two weeks). Our number is 1,073 as of this edition.

Bob was recently a featured person on Hatteburg’s People. Congratulations to you my old friend. I love you.

? ? ? ?

I’ve been spending some time researching my Grandpa Bill’s newspaper beginnings, as well as my Uncle Gary’s and my dad, Ron Noland’s history in the newspaper business.

Although my dad struggles with his speech these days, he lights up when we talk about our newspaper heritage. I asked him when Grandpa started "KWICK KWIBS" this past week. He couldn’t tell me, but he gestured that he was very young. My Grandpa Bill bought his first newspaper in 1946. It was the Logan Republican in Logan, KS.

My grandpa continued his columns clear into the early 1970s with The Kinsley Mercury and The Barber County Index.

That "KWICK KWIBS" column spun off into my dad’s column called "KWICK KWIBS, Jr." in the early 1970s. In 1988 I remember sneaking into the composing room and replacing a house ad on page two with a column called simply "KWIBS". My dad was not impressed when he got his newspaper in the mail out in Branson, MO. He later relented and let me write my silly column. I continued it even after he sold the newspaper and took it over with me when we started this paper in 1991. I’ve written more than 1,000 since I first started. Guys like Bob Greer and me have "ink running through our veins." We love what we do and the communities we serve. I can’t wait until I’m 85 years old and publish my 3,380th issue.....

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 17, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

Former Editor and band mate David Fasgold and I used to play this silly game called "Shoot it into the sun."

The game was basically this: Anything you didn’t like, you could load it on our imaginary rocket ship and shoot it into the sun. The thing you disliked would eventually be burned up and gone forever. We would even occasionally put a person in our imaginary rocket and shoot them into the sun.

Things or people I used to shoot into the sun: Al Sharpton, Barry Manilow, Osama Bin Laden (if we could find him), deadline days at the newspaper, an assortment of grumpy customers, men’s pink shirts, sweet 80s mullets and pretty much every Oak Ridge Boys song ever written (Sorry Amy Axline).

I also would take my bills and shoot them into the sun. What could be a better excuse for not paying your electric bill?

"Mr. Noland, we did not receive your August payment for your electric bill."

Me: Oh, that bill.... well, I put that in my rocket and shot it to the sun because I didn’t like it.

"Understood Mr. Noland, we’ll do much better for you next month."

I thought David and I pretty much had the market cornered on this idea and that one day our plans would come to fruition. Of course this means we would need a cheap way of shooting rockets into the sun and since NASA can’t even do that yet, we’re still in a holding pattern.

Last week it was announced that 400 people had volunteered to go on a one-way mission to Mars.

I realize it’s not the sun, but it’s a start.

I was searching for a nomination form to print several copies off. I had several people in mind for this mission.

Where do I sign people up, I wondered? Then I read "volunteered."

What kind of person would volunteer for a one-way mission to Mars? Well, a man named Peter Greaves has. Greaves is the father of three, and a jack-of-all-trades who started his own motorcycle dispatch company and fixes computers and engines on the side.

"I envision life on Mars to be stunning, frightening, lonely, quite cramped and busy," he told FoxNews.com. "Unlike Earth, I wouldn't be able to sit by a stream or take in the view of nature's wonder, or hug a friend, or breath deeply the sweet smell of fresh air -- but my experience would be so different from all 6 to 7 billion human beings ... that in itself would make up for the things I left behind."

Dear Mr. Greaves,

Congratulations on your decision to join 399 others on a trip to Mars!

Please note: Conditions on the surface of Mars are much closer to habitability than the surface of any other known planet or moon, as seen by the extremely hot and cold temperatures on Mercury, the furnace-hot surface of Venus, or the cryogenic cold of the outer planets and their moons! (Only the cloud tops of Venus are closer in terms of habitability to Earth than Mars is.) We’ve not yet opened up our volunteer department to head to the clouds of Venus.

Thank you so much for volunteering to be shot from a rocket on Earth to Mars. Your trip will take about 8-9 months. We’ll be including all of the entire VHS collection of Mel Brooks movies for your viewing pleasure.

(Notice how I got rid of Mel Brooks and VHS all at the same time?)

In addition to never breathing fresh air again, please also note you will never again eat a steak dinner (at least not one that is from an actual cow or anywhere other than the bagged, dehydrated food we will be sending along). Be advised to dress warmly. The daytime SURFACE temperature is about 80 F during rare summer days, to -200 F at the poles in winter. The AIR temperature, however, rarely gets much above 32 F. On average the highs are expected to be -63°C with a low of -140°C. The lowest temperature ever recorded on Earth was -89.2°C, in Antarctica.

Your telephone calls to home will be a little expensive and involve a 22 minute delay each direction.

You’ll also have to wear a pressure suit and protection from radiation at all times. (We’ll provide you with a way to simply relieve yourself with a device built right into your suit!)

Again, we thank you for your willingness to be one less person on our planet and one of the first to be buried on Mars. We hope your accommodations and possibly short life on Mars will be satisfactory and if they aren’t, we’re sorry because you are most likely never coming back.

As we say here at NASA, "don’t let the rocket door hit you in the asteroid on your way out!"

Sincerely,

NASA

PS: We also regret to inform you that you’ll be traveling with 399 other dudes (sorry no ladies) as based on our recent study (See below).

Six guys are already in a "long journey scenario" going to Mars. These guys are being locked up in a "rocket ship", or in a clubhouse with attractive hardwood floors and are PRETENDING to go to Mars to test the long-term impact of such a journey.

It takes 520 days to go to Mars and back.

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

No, we’re not. We’re only 3 months into this trip. I just told you a month ago how far we were. Shut up David! Watch Blazing Saddles again or look out the opposite window....

Do we really need to do this study? Six men, no women, 520 days. We have something similar to this called PRISON!

These six guys are from a bunch of different countries too and don’t even all speak the same language.

These morons are going to emerge in November a year and a half older, with nothing to show for it except an item on their resumes saying, "Most recent employment: Pretended to go to Mars." Yeah, I bet lots of employers are looking for that.

 

KWIBS - From January 10, 2011 - By Kevin Noland

I’m holidazed....

That’s my new word to start off 2011. Yes, 2011. Wow! We still don’t have flying cars. That makes me so mad.

Joey and I took a day off last week to enjoy one final day of his Christmas vacation. We had decided to spend a near fortune on seeing a movie at the new Warren IMAX in Wichita on 21st street. I felt a little violated paying $24 for a movie that originally came out when I was 13-years-old. The movie was Tron. The average price for a movie ticket in 1982 was about $2.50 a person. I think popcorn was still like $10 a bucket though....

When they told me it would be $24 for the two of us to see Tron in 3D on the IMAX, I asked the lady behind the counter if she would take $8 if we just saw it in 1D. She didn’t get it.

Nobody seems to have a sense of humor these days.

While in Wichita, we stopped at Walmart before coming home. I had to buy some goofy filter for a humidifier. It was like $10 but all I had was a $100 bill. I handed it to the clerk and she held it up to the light, marked it, gave me the once over and then counted back my change.

As she did this I said, "Wait, stop."

I took each bill she handed me and I held it up to the light.

She asked, "What are you doing?"

I explained that I was examining the money she was giving me to make sure it was real.

She said, "Of course it’s real. We already examined it."

I said, "Well, my $100 bill was real and I had already examined it. Obviously, you didn’t trust me enough to think I had done that, so why would I trust that the money you are giving back to me is real?"

She sort of glazed over. The people behind me were moaning.

? ? ? ?

On 1-11-11 my grandson Kycen will be 1. I thought this was kind of cool. I think we should celebrate his birthday party at 1:11 p.m.

Happy birthday to my special little guy!

KWIBS - From December 27, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

My brain hurts...

As I poured over the year’s worth of news and determined what would make our year in review and what wouldn’t, I couldn’t help to marvel at how much "news" there was last year.

Much of the year’s coverage focused on the funding for the county’s two hospitals. Back and forth the commissioners went with the voting public, hospitals and PBC. An offer of $10 million was presented to the hospitals, $6 million is what Medicine Lodge will have to work with. It’s a far cry from the $26.5 million that we voted on not so long ago.

I would have to say that was the most important news story this year. It actually continues to haunt the taxpayers and voters of Barber County. This week a resolution is published for the funding of the hospitals. A new chapter will continue into 2011.

As I have done in the past, I would like to make my nomination for Premiere Person of 2010.

This year I feel the nomination should go to Austin Gilley. Gilley and his family moved here in June and Gilley hit the ground running with many difficult tasks to accomplish with the city’s budget, infrastructure, water rates, cemetery issues and a projected deficit.

He is beginning to turn things around and he’s got ideas for the community that will help us grow. He needs the community’s support and appreciation.

Not everyone will be happy with the changes that will come our way. Austin has many projects on his plate and often many who stand willing to criticize and complain and few to complement and encourage him. I want to encourage him.

I’ve had the opportunity to spend several hours working with Mr. Gilley. I can tell you he is sincere in his efforts to help Medicine Lodge. He needs your support in this endeavor. My impression is that he can help this community, if this community is willing to be helped. Show him your support and your support for the city of Medicine Lodge.

And have a great 2011!

 

KWIBS - From December 20, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

As Christmas approaches, I always think about the reason we celebrate this time of year. We celebrate the birth of Jesus. It’s also a time of giving and being thankful for family and friends.

It’s also close to the end of another year in our community. Next week we’ll be looking back at our accomplishments and failures for 2010 as we anticipate another flip of the calendar.

We have so much to be grateful for in this community. I want to thank everyone for their support over the past year. We are still in a questionable economic climate. Many people including many businesses have felt the pinch this year. Even though we are all a little tighter than in years past, there is still a spirit of giving and goodness that comes from Medicine Lodge during Christmas time. Take a moment to browse the greetings in our newspaper this week.

We’re truly blessed to live in a community with so many caring people. We often spend a lot of time grumbling about what is wrong with our community, but during this season, we should look at and be thankful for all that is right with our community.

I hope you take a moment to reflect on your blessings this Christmas season and I hope and pray that Jesus is the reason for your season, as it is mine. - Isaiah 53

Merry Christmas!

Below: My grandson Kycen never knew anyone he didn’t like until last Saturday when we took him to see Santa Claus. Oh well, I think Santa will still be good to him this Christmas!

 

KWIBS - From December 13, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

In the newspaper business, you seldom hear when you do something right, but make an error, and everyone will let you know.

Sometimes though you make a whopper. My friend and fellow publisher in Coldwater, KS recently made a great boo-boo on his front page.

Dennise Andersen placed a box on the front left, bottom corner of his newspaper on November 25th that read "Happy Easter". Oops...

I called up and disguised my voice last week and told him I wanted to put an ad in his paper. He said, I’m ready. Go ahead.

I said, I’d like a small box on the front page around Christmas time that reads "Happy 4th of July." It was quiet for a minute before the cursing and name calling began. Apparently, I did well in disguising my voice, but my sense of humor gave me away. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 29, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

One thing I am always thankful for is Thanksgiving. This year was no different, spending time with family and friends.

We had a dear friend come and spend the holiday with us. Daryl Johnson from Topeka has been grafted into our holiday family. This is our second time spending Thanksgiving with him.

You probably remember Daryl. He was the Superintendent of Schools for USD#254 back in the mid-late 90s. Daryl and his wife Cathy were special people to us and our community. She passed away and Daryl eventually moved back to the Topeka area where he is retired and does some substitute teaching.

Daryl tells me all the time that he has a special place in his heart for Medicine Lodge. It was great seeing him and spending time with him.

? ? ? ?

Medicine Lodge was a busy place the weekend of November 19-21. The Medicine Lodge Area Chamber of Commerce held their annual Christmas Open House and NBCRC held a benefit dodge ball tournament. I attended both and I have to say, I had a great time at both events. It’s fun to see the town getting together and having fun during the holidays and supporting good causes.

? ? ? ?

My 10-month-old grandson is becoming a Ninja. He skillfully knows where and when to hit you to inflict the most pain. My glasses have been the most recent target of his quick hands.

It also amazes me that he went from crawling in an area no bigger than a 10 foot radius, to exploring any and all areas of our home in a matter of weeks. He pulls up on everything that is sturdy enough to support him and if he can move it or pick it up, you can bet it will end up on the floor. This includes candles, cups of water, pictures, plants, etc..

? ? ? ?

With all of the recent controversy on airport security and new security measures being implemented, I ran across this interesting idea.

Here's the solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners at the Airports:

Have a booth that you can step into that will not x-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your body. It would be a win-win for everyone, and there would be none of this garbage about racial profiling and this method would eliminate a long and expensive trial.

Justice would be quick and swift.

This is so simple that it's brilliant. I can see it now. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter an announcement comes over the PA system,

"Attention standby passengers: We now have a seat available on flight number 4665 ....paging maintenance. Shop Vac needed in booth number 4."

? ? ? ?

I read a lot of news copy each week and my mind does strange things with the information I process.

In this week’s issue of the Sheriff’s News on page 4, Jesus Montano is reported to have hit a deer on HWY 160. Rumor has it that he got out of the vehicle, found the deer, said, "Be healed," and the deer got up and ran away. That’s probably just not true.....

? ? ? ?

A lot of times people will take the time to let you know when you are not doing a good job. Seldom does someone take the time to say you are doing a great job.

I thought it should be done this week. Mr. Hanna is the high school band and choir instructor and is rebuilding a program that has declined in numbers and talent over the years. Through football season and most recently at the Christmas Open House on Main Street, Mr. Hanna and his students have shown great promise in their performance.

I want to tell him and his students, GREAT JOB! You guys keep up the good work and we thank you for the great music you are generating.

? ? ? ?

A couple of weeks ago, my oldest son, Joey, went on a little excursion to California. He and Max Zinowsky, John Nixon’s AFS student traveled there by invitation from Jim and Cathy Colborn. The Colborns were already in Califonia and invited the boys to fly out for the weekend, share a rental car and a hotel with them and then a flight home.

The boys got to travel the famous 101 from Los Angeles to San Francisco where they finished off their trip with a helicopter tour of the bay area and city.

Joey shared a funny story of how he and Jim Colborn listened to local "rap" talent in the car on the way to San Francisco. Can you imagine Jim Colborn listening to rap music? It’s even harder for me to imagine Jim wanting to spend close to 8 hours in a car with two teenage boys that don’t belong to him.

One of the coolest things the boys got to do was stopping to photograph Elephant Seals on the beach. The photos are just amazing and I was so jealous of their trip. Below is a photo that Joey took of Alcatraz. Thank you to Jim and Cathy for bringing him home safely and letting the boys experience the coast!

KWIBS - From November 22, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

My fantasy football team entered Monday night’s game with 7 points for the week. I was playing my evil twin brother, Dr. Ruben Garcia and only had one player left for the evening that needed to put better than 25 points on the board if I had any hope of winning. A nearly impossible feat, I did end up winning, 43-32.

My last guy playing was infamous former Atlanta Falcons Quarter Back Michael Vick. If you remember, Vick plead guilty to illegal dog fighting and spent time in prison and came back to the NFL in 2009.

Now as the Quarter Back for the Philadelphia Eagles, Vick has exploded with talent and a new attitude.

Everyone laughed at me during the 2009 season draft when I picked up Vick. He didn’t do much in the 2009 season, but now has emerged as one of the top quarter backs in the league setting a record Monday night with 4 passing touch downs with over 300 yards for the evening against Washington. Adding to that, Vick had 2 touch downs running, for more than 80 yards.

I think I’ll keep him on my team!

KWIBS - From November 8, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Publisher’s note: I in no way am making light of the seriousness of abusing children.

Psalm 127:3-5

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

I spent the past weekend with my children, a son-in-law and my grandson. We spent a total of about 16 hours in the vehicle together. We took our first family vacation together since the last time I said I would never do that again.

So to say, "fill his quiver with them", we did, but my quiver was my Suburban. We set sail from Medicine Lodge late Friday afternoon.

Our mission: To get to Dallas, TX without killing each other, enjoy a football game (hard to do when Dallas is so bad this year), visit family and friends, see the sights and get home (again, without killing each other.)

It’s been 12 years since I have traveled anywhere with a 10 month old baby, but I have to tell you, my grandson was almost a perfect angel. At 10 months, he didn’t really have the concept of a "bathroom break" established. Thank God for leakproof diapers and air fresheners.

We made it to our hotel in Dallas on Saturday after spending the night in Oklahoma City. We got up early Sunday and took a shuttle to the Cowboy’s Stadium in Arlington and my little Cowboy Kycen experienced his first professional football game.

He was an absolute blast at the game. He cheered no matter who scored or made a penalty. He didn’t care. 100,000 people were all there for his enjoyment.

When we got home, I posted some photos on Facebook and the first reply I got was from an old friend from college. He wrote: "That’s child abuse dressing a helpless baby up in a Cowboy’s shirt!"

I know, Cowboys are 1-6 (probably worse after this past weekend), but isn’t this little guy the cutest Cowboys fan ever?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 1, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

One of our family’s favorite past times is watching NFL on Sundays.

Once or twice a year, we try to take in a professional football game. Usually, we schedule it around a birthday or two. So, three months ago we bought our tickets for the October 31, Cowboys vs. Jaguars game at the Cowboys’ stadium in Arlington, TX.

Now when I say "scheduled around a birthday or two" I mean, Breeann - Oct. 3; me - Oct. 4; Joey - Oct. 28 and Ronda - Nov.3. So, we loaded up the suburban on Friday and ventured to Texas. When I say "we" I mean, me, Ronda, Joey, Nicholas, Breeann, Devin and Baby Kycen. Kycen is a true Cowboys fan. He told me so.

Three years ago when we went to the game, I wore my Tony Romo jersey. The week before the game, he was placed on the injury list with a broken pinky and we didn’t get to see him play. Last year, I wore my Jason Witten jersey and he was injured a week before we were to see the game and he didn’t play. Monday night, while wearing my Tony Romo jersey again, Romo was taken to the ground by 233 lbs New York Giant Michael Boley, breaking his clavicle on his left shoulder. This will take Romo out of the game for our trip to see the Cowboys, if not for the entire season. Remember when it wasn’t cool to wear a Kansas City Chiefs jersey? Thank God those days are behind us for a while.

As of this writing (Thursday, October 28), I’m debating on even wearing a Cowboys’ jersey all together. I’m afraid of what it might do to the team, not to mention they are 1-5 and it’s sort of getting a little embarrassing with all of the jeers I am receiving.

Part of our trip involved a short visit with Ronda’s dad and stepmother. All 9 of us went to the game together on Sunday. We also planned a dinner with my Uncle Gary and Aunt Millie and family who live in Ft. Worth after the game.

Today, Monday, we’re on our way home. My prediction is we’re tired and grumpy. I also predict we had a blast and I’ll probably have some column material for the next week’s edition of The Gyp Hill Premiere.

? ? ? ?

I got to spend a little time with Dennis Blake this week. He and his foster boys are starting a car washing service in the community. The idea is for the kids to earn their own money and for the boys to learn responsibility, respect and to have pride in something they do.

I think it’s a brilliant idea and I hope everyone picks up the phone and calls Dennis for an appointment this week. What the Blakes do is short of amazing with these kids. They’ve had a calling placed on their hearts and they really care about these boys. They washed one of my vehicles Thursday. WOW!

? ? ? ?

In closing this week, I’d like to wish my beautiful wife a Happy Birthday. Jazz hands baby! I love you. :)

I’d also like to wish my son Joey a late happy 18th birthday. Happy birthday buddy!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 25, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Will return.....

KWIBS - From October 18, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

This column will be unpopular. Try not to judge me or my motives when reading. Try to keep an open mind.

A couple of issues I am watching November 2nd are liquor by the drink and the referendum to the Kansas Constitution concerning the right to bear arms for individuals.

First: Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating drinking and driving or promoting any abuse of alcohol when I say I support liquor by the drink. I’ve seen firsthand the devastation that alcohol can cause in families.

This issue isn’t about that. This issue is about lost tax revenues by Barber County to surrounding counties when people who do drink decide to take their business elsewhere during construction, harvest and other times when work comes to our community.

It’s true, we send thousands upon thousands of dollars out of our community because we have a membership type status in Barber County concerning purchasing alcohol at a restaurant or club. I would also argue against the fact that liquor by the drink makes it easier for someone to have access to alcohol. Any liquor store or convenience store offers a cheaper and quicker purchase of liquor in our county. Those wanting or choosing to have an alcoholic beverage at a "bar or club" environment look for places that don’t force a membership or waiting period and that’s why our hotels, restaurants, convenience stores and other local businesses, including our city and county governments, lose out to Pratt during a migration of workers during times like harvest and the recent construction of the windmills.

The tax money that could be generated from liquor by the drink could stay here and help keep your property taxes lower and help to keep people employed in our communities in Barber County. You could even make the argument that it keeps people off of the highway and in town. As unpopular or misunderstood as the issue might be, I support keeping tax money in Barber County and benefiting local businesses in the process.

Mike’s Sports Bar has raised thousands of dollars for local groups and organizations in the past through fund-raising events at his sports bar. He recently had to stop because of this outdated law in our county. That’s only one example of how this law has hurt Medicine Lodge and Barber County.

My liberal anti-gun friend should be sending me an email at any moment........

KANSAS: Vote YES on 1 November 2nd! A 1905 ruling from the Kansas Supreme Court interpreted Section 4 of the Kansas Constitution to mean that the Right to Keep and Bear Arms only exists as a collective right for those in the militia or military and no individual right exists. For that reason, the NRA has worked with the Kansas State Rifle Association, Senator Mike Petersen and the legislature, to pass a Constitutional Amendment during the 2009 legislative session, which provides new language that clarifies Section 4 and guarantees an individual Right to Keep and Bear Arms. The language reads: "A person has the right to keep and bear arms for the defense of self, family, home and state, for lawful hunting and recreational use, and for any other lawful purpose." Our elected officials have done law-abiding Kansans a tremendous service by passing this landmark Constitutional Amendment. Now it is up to YOU to do your part on November 2, 2010 and vote this provision into the Kansas Constitution.

Have a great week

 

KWIBS - From October 11, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Last week started out poorly for many business owners on Main Street. With seven businesses being broken into in one night, the town’s business district was lacking in the moral department. I had spoken with many of the victims of the senseless break-ins and vandalism and all of them felt very violated.

Most had feared the worst. They feared someone local was responsible for the cowardly acts. Later in the week, we learned that it was a random act of theft and vandalism committed by someone from outside our community and the town took a collective sigh of relief. However, it doesn’t change the fact that our community took a pretty hard hit last week.

The hardest hit was Cecil Newman and Home Lumber & Supply. It made me angry to see the mess that was left behind and how someone could hurt someone I consider a friend.

I know many who are very grateful for the hard work that local law enforcement have done in cooperation with other jurisdictions. The work was quick and professional. I would like to personally thank Chief Brian Miller for keeping the newspaper informed of the progress made in the investigation. Kudos to MLPD and Pratt PD for their work in solving the crimes.

We as a community now ask for justice to be served out to those who would steal and damage property from our city’s businesses and residents.

I’ll echo Bob Stutler: "We have a right to demand aggressive prosecution."

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 4, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

It chaps me a little, but I do understand.

I got a notice for the paper from City Administrator Austin Gilley last week about the upcoming city wide clean up days that are to be held October 18-22.

What frustrated me was the city’s exclusion of commercial properties. The clean up will be for residential properties only.

I’ll be the first to admit that I have used and abused the city wide clean up days in the past, but it’s always been a great opportunity to get rid of unwanted chairs, broken desks and various other uncollectible items that our office accumulates over the year.

To solidify my frustration of exclusion, our "commercial property" produces less trash and uses less water than your average resident, yet pays a higher price for the service. Commercial properties are also the ones generally producing tax revenues for the City of Medicine Lodge. And to top that, many people use the back alleys of local businesses to dump their unwanted items in our trash dumpsters or leave big items behind our stores for us to pay to have removed.

One year during clean up days someone dumped a couch behind our office that remained there for weeks because they missed our trash pick up and the city refused to haul it off. I hauled it off at my expense. To this day, there are still items that were dumped off at our office for the last city wide clean up day in the spring that the city did not remove. I had intended on just leaving those items there for this round of pick up, but now I might have to haul them to some unsuspecting residential property to get it hauled off!

In my frustration, I picked up the phone and called city hall on Tuesday morning. Austin wasn’t in, but City Clerk Kandi Simmons explained to me that the council had approved Austin’s rules for the upcoming clean up.

So I decided to vent to my very-most-favorite council member - Norm Clouse. Poor Norm. He always gets an earful from me whether he wants one or not.

Hopefully Norm won’t kill me for saying this, but being completely honest he stated he didn’t like the program at all explaining, "It costs the city a lot of money, time and resources."

I appreciate his honesty, but still think it should be an "all or none" program. I hope my column won’t result in the city pulling the plug on clean up days. It has been a great benefit to the residents, as well as the businesses, of Medicine Lodge over the years.

In closing, I would like to thank the city crew and the city council for providing this service. The city guys work their tails off trying to stay head of the game. They do this extra hauling in addition to their normal duties and we give them little to no credit for the hard work they do keeping our city up and running.

In a time of budget crunching, I realize that providing certain services are difficult for the city. I would suggest that maybe the city consider a special week of clean up for commercial properties.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 27, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

On October 3rd, 1989, with just 23 minutes left in the day, my little baby girl was born. When the clock struck midnight, I turned 20 years old and she has been the greatest birthday gift I could have ever asked for every year.

On Sunday of this week, she’ll be 21 years old.

She’s now a mother and a wife, but she’ll always be my little girl.

Happy 21st Birthday, Breeann. We love you and we’re proud of you!

KWIBS - From September 20, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I wish I could say that it was completely out of character for me to take a risk like this, but nobody that knows me would agree.

Early morning, Friday, September 10, I cruised out to the airport to check out the powered parachute group that was in town for the weekend.

I made my way over to a guy who looked friendly enough and stuck out my hand and said, "Hi, I’m Kevin Noland, Publisher of The Gyp Hill Premiere."

I proceded to take some notes and pictures of his PPC contraption. Somewhere between my introduction and my leaving, Mr. Terry Clarkson had used his hypnotic powers to convince me to get into one of these contraptions and fly with him that evening. As I got into my truck for the ride back to town, I was both excited and frightened that I had agreed to come back at 6 p.m. that night with my camera in tow to go up 500 feet above town and shoot some pictures before the football game.

I had a hard time concentrating on my duties on Friday. I finally left work at 4 p.m. and went home to "relax" for a moment before coming back to fly with Terry. I found myself putting things in order at my house like I was never to return.

What was I thinking? I guess I wasn’t. I’ve always been that person who just couldn’t say "No, thank you."

Before I knew it I was on my way to town and at the airport at 6 p.m. My son, Joey, came to video my first and hopefully not last flight.

He must have thought I wouldn’t have showed up. Terry’s first words to me were, "You made it!" and "Don’t worry, I’ve only killed three other people in this thing!"

I chuckled nervously and put on my helmet to test the communications equipment out. I could hear him and he could hear me. Good, I thought. Because I wanted him to hear me clearly when I screamed like a little girl.

Preflight was interesting. Terry examined his machine from all angles and unpacked his parachute. I have a kite made of the same material. I too closely examined every string that connected it to the frame of this contraption. The frame of one of these aircrafts closely resembles a backyard aluminum swing set with wheel barrow style tires attached to it. Included in the middle is a plastic lawn chair for your comfort. A five point harness straps you in.

I jokingly asked, "The seat belt is so your body stays with the wreckage in the event of a crash, right?" He laughed and told me that this was his first flight in this or any other machine like it.

Terry buckled me in and I felt like a 195 lb. infant being strapped into an amusement park ride. As the sweat poured off of my head (because the helmet was hot), I said a little prayer before he fired up the motor powering what looked like a giant box fan bolted to the back of the swing set.

"Are your dental records up to date," he asked?

Before I could say yes, the fan drowned out my words (screams) and we were moving forward, dragging his pretty multicolored parachute behind us.

He looked up and I looked up too to see that the parachute was now directly over us and inflated. We slowed down a bit and then gently lifted off the ground. I took a picture of my family waving at me nervously from the runway in front of the hangers. I figured if they found the camera on the ground and went through the pictures, they would see who I belonged to. Joey was taking a record of my departure with his video camera. I thought to myself, "I hope they aren’t playing this video at my upcoming funeral."

Within a short period of time we were in the air. My first order of business was to ask Terry when I could remove my seat belt and get up and roam the cabin, maybe take a bathroom break.

"Sorry, this is an economy flight," he replied over my headset.

I noticed that Terry’s hands were free and he was snapping pictures out of both sides of our flying swing set.

My first thoughts were to scream at him, "Keep your hands on the steering wheel man!" Then I remembered he was flying with his feet. Going up and down was as easy as increasing the throttle to his right.

"Here, give it a try," he said. He explained that there was a throttle control to my right as well and this was a training machine to teach people how to fly PPC.

I told Terry that I wasn’t qualified to fly this thing and he said, "Neither am I!"

In order to fly I had to release the death grip I had on the frame with at least one hand. I talked myself into letting go with my right hand and grabbed the throttle.

Hmm... It really was easy!

I was loosening up by this time and had let go with my left hand too and the blood flow was returning to my fingers. I wasn’t roaming the cabin freely, but I was at least able to grab my camera and start shooting some photos.

We flew over the entire town and even did our own touchdown in the newer part of the cemetery plot behind the high school football field.

"Please don’t let us crash here," I prayed to God. "Oh, the irony...."

We bounced gently off the ground and were airborne again within seconds.

We flew over the football game and then near the water tower, which was an interesting perspective at that height. Returning to the airport, I looked down and saw my daughter and her husband in their driveway. They were waving and I waved back. I could see the drive in and before I knew it, we were circling the airport again.

"I’m going to show you how safe these things really are," Terry said. "I’m going to shut off the engine and show you what it’s like to have a mid-air stall."

What? We were at about 500 feet.

"NO, that’s really not necessary," I said. Before I could get my sentence completely out, it was dead silent (no pun intended). All I could hear was air rushing in to my helmet. Terry had shut the engine off. It was peaceful and quite. We were floating. We were also falling, but mostly floating.

"You see," he exclaimed. "We can just float down and land from here."

He fired up the engine and our fall slowed to a hover above the ground as we skipped across the grass field.

I was ready for a bathroom break at this point. I was glad to have had the experience and was glad when we were back on solid ground.

I want to thank Terry and his friends for choosing Medicine Lodge for their fly-in and thank him for giving me the experience of a lifetime!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 13, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Even though Monday was Labor Day, I got up early and drove to town to go to work. I was actually excited about the fact I had to work. The brand new Premiere was printed and delivered to my office and despite the fact I built the paper days prior and knew everything in it, I wanted to get a copy and see it for myself.

I was really excited to see what a fantastic job the Hutchinson News printing plant did on the Premiere.

Then suddenly, I got this sick feeling in my gut and thought, "What will I do to top this next week?"

Most of you don’t realize that it took three times longer to lay out last week’s newspaper than in weeks past. Changing the format really "ate my lunch", so to speak. I was worn out and tired from the conversion. My head hurt and my mostly sleepless nights were filled in periodically by dreams of screwing something up with the newspaper.

Backing up to Saturday... I spent the morning wrapping up the sports pages and doing corrections. At noon I was ready for my first file transfer to the Hutchinson News servers. I believed it was a success and went home to enjoy the warm weather and lake with my family.

At about 5 p.m. I got a phone call from their computer tech. Nick Hemphill told me that everything looked good, but the photos were all in a very low resolution and wouldn’t print well.

I gathered myself up and went to town Saturday night where I spent an hour readjusting photos and uploading them. By dusk, I was given the "all clear". It was in the printers’ hands.

So I was very excited about the finished project. I was sitting in my office on Monday without a clue how to follow up the previous edition. Keep in mind, I’ve done this for more than two decades, but for some reason the 1878 story about The Barber County Mail Editor Cochran came to the front of my thoughts.

Legend has it that Cochran put out at least one good edition of The Barber County Mail, before letting his work slide. One of the stories I was told years ago was that Cochran put out his newspaper, to which the town was thrilled with it’s stories and advertisements.

He took their complements, let them buy him rounds at the local saloon and kept on partying until deadline of the next week. It was then he realized that he had nothing for the upcoming paper. So I was told that Cochran rearranged some type and stories and put out virtually the same issue as the previous week.

Tom McNeal tells a slightly different story.

"In the early part of the year 1878 a man by the name of Cochran concluded that there was a field for a newspaper in the frontier town of Medicine Lodge. He purchased a Washington hand press from McElroy of the Humboldt Union, together with a couple of racks, a few cases, a well worn font of long primer type and another font of brevier, a few job fonts for advertising purposes, moved the outfit to Medicine and commenced the publication of the Barber County Mail. Possibly Cochran concluded that it didn’t make much difference what kind of a paper was published in that kind of a town, or possibly he didn’t know how to keep the worn type clean and a decent ‘impression’ on the Washington hand press, but whatever the reason, the fact was that the paper was generally unreadable. Cochran was a man of fair ability with a rather catchy style of writing, but a good many of his local and editorial observations were lost because it was impossible to read what he had printed. Whether it was the poor print of the paper or the flirtatious disposition of the editor that caused him to become unpopular, I am unable to say, but the fact was that before his first year in the town had expired a number of residents gathered together and decided that he must depart thence in haste and with a promise never to return.

It was also decided that there must be meted out to him punishment commensurate with his offending, and on a decidedly cool night in the month of February, 1879, the regulators took the editor from his humble office, stripped him of his clothing and then administered a punishment which I think was entirely unique and unprecedented in the treatment of editors. There was no tar in the town and not a feather bed to be opened, but an enterprising settler had brought in a sorghum molasses mill the year before and as sorghum generally grew well there, had manufactured a crop into thick, ropy molasses. Owing to the cold weather the molasses was thicker and ropier than usual. The regulators secured a gallon of this, mixed it well with sandburs, which grew with great luxuriance in the sandy bottom of the Medicine, and administered this mixture liberally to the nude person of the editor. I do not need to tell my readers who are familiar with the nature of the sandbur, that it is an unpleasant vegetable to have attached to one’s person. Clothed with this unwelcome covering of sandburs and sweetness, Cochran was elevated upon a cedar rail and carried about on the shoulders of the self-appointed regulators. He privately acknowledged afterward that while this was an elevation and distinction such as no other editor perhaps had ever received, he would personally rather have remained a private and humble citizen on foot. After carrying the shivering and besmeared editor about to their hearts’ content, occasionally adding to his general discomfort by bouncing him up and down on the rough and splintered corner of the rail, the regulators told him that he must leave town within twenty-four hours, and never show his face or form there again.

There were other citizens of the town, among them a brother of mine, who, while not particularly enamored with Cochran or his style of journalism, felt that his morals would at least average up with those of his persecutors. They also organized, armed themselves with such weapons as were convenient, and told the editor that he could remain as long as he wished and they would be responsible for his safety. Cochran expressed his appreciation of their kindness, but confessed to them that the atmosphere of the town did not seem salubrious or congenial to him and if they would arrange to purchase his paper and outfit he would seek other climes where it was not the habit to decorate editors with sandburs and sorghum molasses. His proposition was accepted by my brother and his brother-in-law, E. W. Iliff; the Barber County Mail slept the sleep that knows no waking and a new paper, the Medicine Lodge Cresset, was born.

Whichever story is true is debatable. I’m very grateful for all of the kind comments about the new look for the paper. I’m also thankful that the town is not out purchasing large quantities of molasses intended for my demise. At least as of yet!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 6, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Many things in the newspaper printing business have changed since the first printing press was made. Heck, it’s changed a lot since I’ve been alive.

Now I am not this old, but as early as 1041, movable clay type was invented in China.

Johannes Gutenberg, a goldsmith and businessman from the mining town of Mainz in southern Germany, borrowed money to invent a technology that changed the world of printing. Johannes Gutenberg invented the printing press with replaceable/moveable wooden or metal letters in 1436.

By the 20th century, many advancements were made in printing including the web press, cold set printing and 4 color process printing.

With all of the advancements in the commercial printing business, many small town papers still use technology that first came to the area in the 1950s.

My Grandfather Bill Noland was an innovative risk taker that worked part time hand setting type after school in Mullinville, KS in the 1930s. This work sparked his interest in the newspaper business that now is in its third generation.

After high school, Bill left Mullinville to attend college at Pittsburg, KS. He continued in his interests and studied linotype.

In 1947 my Grandpa Bill and Grandma Ethelyn bought their first newspaper in Logan, Kansas.

By 1958 an opportunity arose and my grandparents purchased a weekly newspaper in Kinsley, KS called The Kinsley Mercury. In 1967 they purchased the Barber County Index.

In the spring of 1967 The Barber County Index was one of the first newspapers in Kansas to place a web press in their shop. After three months the newspaper was completely converted to web. The linotype days were over.

I grew up in the printing business. I know the lingo and can still recall how to operate a Goss Community Press, such as my family owned for 30 plus years.

In 1991 Ronda and I started The Gyp Hill Premiere out of our living room. We quickly moved into a shop on Washington Street and later to our home on Main Street.

We generally printed black ink on white paper, with an occasional spot color throughout the 20 years of this newspaper.

So much has changed since those early days of webpress printing from my grandparent’s and dad’s print shop.

This week we’ve unveiled our new broadsheet format. As a result of the retirement of Sam Clester of the Belle Plaine Printing Company, we’ve begun printing our newspaper in Hutchinson, KS with The Hutch News. With this new relationship, we are now able to more easily and affordably provide our readers with full color.

Ronda and I took a tour of the printing facility two weeks ago and I have to say we were impressed. We used to print to paper and then it went to camera and then burned to plate and then to press. Now we will print to file and directly to plate and on to the press. The process offers much higher quality photos to be reproduced without as much "loss" in reproduction.

When we first entered The Hutchinson News offices, we were greeted by aon old Linotype typesetting machine in the lobby.

For years, we had one of these machines sitting in our warehouse. When I was young I used to pretend it was a robot!

A fast Linotype operator might have been able to type 14-16 lines per minute.The machine weighed more than a 1000 lbs and had many moving parts that could have easily taken a finger off in a flash. Along with the moving parts was a boiling pot of hot molten lead! Lead was supplied in "pigs" which were long ingots of lead weighing about 22 pounds each. They had an eye in one end from which they were suspended by a hook and chain above the melting pot. As the level in the pot went down, the pig would be lowered a bit by the chain to keep the level of molten lead constant. The eyes had a gap in them. When the pig went all the way into the lead and the eye melted at the bottom, the two sides would fall into the pot and the chain would rapidly zip up to the top on a counterweight letting the operator know it was time to hang another pig.

This machine was not the user friendly device we now have in the modern day PC.

In fact, this dangerous process nearly killed my Grandpa Bill Noland. He was severely burned on his legs from an accident where this molten lead spilled on him. He endured several painful months of rehabilitation and skin grafting by an accident caused by this printing process.

Terms such as slug (a line of lead), chase, quoin, turtle, Linotype, and even hellbox—except for what you’re reading—are never heard in the printing shop anymore, but I can still remember some of them. I even have a few pigs laying around the office somewhere.

Shortly after the demise of the Linotype, "cold set" printing came into being. We had giant machines that set line type that were called Compugraphic typesetting computers. These things were probably 500 pounds and could display about one line of copy at a time. The copy came out in film strips that we would wax up and paste on pages.

When we started our paper back in 1991, we had been away from the Compugraphic machines for nearly a decade. We were in the "modern day" computer age. Still very primitively, we set type on paper instead of film to be waxed up and pasted on pages.

In 1994 we converted everything to full pagination. To this day we set the entire newspaper up on computer. As of last week, we printed each page out on one single sheet of paper.

Now I just see the newspaper on the screen and when it is all done, I send it to a file and an FTP site across the internet.

I think it’s neat that I have now been alive long enough to see the complete evolution of newspaper web printing. I can only imagine what the future holds for print. My guess would be a completely digital format. I believe that will be the case in my lifetime.

We hope you enjoy the new format. I would like to thank Nick Hemphill, Greg Jerauld and Gregg Beals of the Hutchinson News for helping us with this conversion. I appreciate all of the help of my staff and family too.

I’m sure the newspaper will evolve much over the next few months as we implement new software and technology. Bear with us as we make these changes and thank you all for your support!

In closing, don’t expect my columns to be this long and informing! I’ll soon return to some bizarre subject matter that will leave you scratching your head.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 30, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I got a call from an old friend last Saturday evening. Brent Shaw was in town. His grandmother had passed away and he and his sister April flew in from Phoenix, Arizona to be with their parents Connie and Dean Shaw and attend her funeral.

Brent is a Lieutenant with the Phoenix Police Department. Brent and I have kept in touch since high school. Ten years ago he even met up with me at the airport in Phoenix during a layover to San Diego.

Over the years, we have met up with Brent and his wife Tracey at any given chance that they were in Wichita to see family. It had been a few years since we had last hooked up.

Brent knew it was short notice, but wondered if I had the time to come to Wichita for a visit before he flew home on Monday. It was a request I was happy to satisfy and I needed to come to Wichita anyway to find a guy who had skipped bond on me a month ago. I asked Brent if he would be interested in having lunch and helping me find my guy and he was more than willing to accommodate!

We had lunch on Sunday afternoon and caught up. After our lunch we met up with three Wichita Police officers in a parking lot next to Dillons on South Broadway, a lovely neighborhood....

Brent and I had driven past my defendant’s house and saw his car in the driveway. We devised a plan to catch him and as we were discussing this plan with the local police, my guy drove past the parking lot where we were gathered! The Wichita PD was awesome to work with. They were quick to pull my guy over and allowed me to take him, without question, back to Pratt County where his warrant was from.

I got to spend the day with a great old friend and caught a guy who had been causing me a little stress for the past month.

Brent will probably be reading this to his guys he works with in Phoenix.

Thanks for the good time Brent!

? ? ? ?

This is the final week of tabloid format for The Gyp Hill Premiere. Next week, we’ll have a brand new look. We’ll go back to a full broadsheet format and will be printing in full color on at least the front and back. Many times throughout the year, we’ll have some special full color runs on the inside pages. .

If you are keeping up on my columns, after 19 years of printing in Belle Plaine, KS, our new printing home will be the Hutchinson News. Early in the week Nick Hemphil, The Hutch News’ IT person, came to Medicine Lodge to help me with some of the conversion.

I had always believed our newspaper was pretty up to date on technology, but quickly learned that we were very out of date on our software and were not compatible with much of the new "print to plate" technology. After 5 grueling hours, we determined that our software and the Hutch News’ software were slightly incompatible. This means we’re going to be upgrading equipment and software over the coming weeks as well.

On Tuesday, by invitation, Ronda and I went to the Hutch News printing facility and met their production manager, Gregg Beals and Nick Hemphil. They gave us a tour of their state of the art printing plant. I’ve been out of the web press printing business for about 22 years now. There have been a lot of changes in the industry. I was very impressed with their operations.

Our newspaper will actually go to prepress at 8 p.m. on Saturday evenings and will be printed after the Hutch News’s Sunday edition, sometime around 2-4 a.m. on Sunday morning. The paper will be delivered early Monday at around 3 a.m. Ellis Mayfield will then have the paper in the stores early Monday morning and with luck, in many of your local mail boxes. Those details have yet to be hammered out.

Please bear with us during this change. We may have a few mailing hiccups, but we’ll get it straightened out quickly!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 30, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I have to admit, I’ve had a few moments in my life where I wanted to act just like Steven Slater did two weeks ago.

In case your TV is broken, Slater is the jetBlue flight attendant whose meltdown on the tarmac at JFK after a flight from Pittsburgh Monday, August 9th has made him a folk hero in recent days.

Slater became an overnight celebrity when he cursed out a passenger on the plane’s intercom system, grabbed two beers and popped the emergency slide to dramatically quit his jetBlue job.

Undoubtedly the coolest way to quit your job ever, we’ve all wanted to take a turn down that slide (under ideal circumstances of course). But to grab two beers on the way out? Simply classic. The ultimate "Take This Job And Shove It" moment.

Upon exiting the plane, with a prelude of cursing Slater said, "I've been in this business 28 years and I've had it."

In just under a week after quitting his job, Slater has been photographed hanging out on the beach, met Barry Manilow and has even been offered his own reality TV show. All this for a guy who flipped out after asking a passenger to sit down (the passenger cursed him out first). Then he was struck in the head by a falling carry on bag.

Slater even has a celebrity fan page with more than 211,000 fans. Groups like "Free Steven Slater" popped up on the web within minutes of the news.

So, is he a hero or a jerk?

Don't misunderstand me. What Steven Slater did was wrong. Very wrong. And he's probably made himself unemployable in his chosen trade as flight attendant or about any job other than clerk at the DMV for that matter.

We all have bad days at the office.

Nobody should "go postal" as the old saying goes. If nothing else, the incident should be a reminder to cranky airline passengers that flight attendants are people, too, with problems of their own. Just because they're the public face of the airline doesn't mean your bumpy flight is their fault. So stay in the upright position and keep the skies friendly.

That goes for dealing with people in about every aspect of life. I can’t count the number of times over the past 20 years that people have come into my office to rip my butt about misspelling their names, not getting their paper in a timely fashion or even to just complain about the fact I put my own kid’s picture in the paper.

The world would be a better place if we could all just treat each other with kindness and respect. When you don’t treat people with kindness and respect, don’t be surprised if you run into a "Slater" or two.

I’ve often times wanted to make a public announcement, pull the emergency slide, grab two beers and jump.

? ? ? ?

In just two short weeks, The Gyp Hill Premiere will undergo a huge transformation. We’ll be printing our last tabloid edition on August 30th. This is a great opportunity for you to go out with all of your friends and buy up every last edition to keep as a collector’s item!

Starting Monday, September 6th, we’ll publish our first broadsheet on 22" newsprint. We’re planning a full 4-color front and back page to kick off the new format.

As I stated last week, our printer of 20 years is retiring at the end of the month. With Belle Plaine Printing closing shop, we were forced to find a new home to print the newspaper. We’ve made arrangements with The Hutchinson News to do our printing and with this comes some new opportunities that we are very excited about.

I walked to the back room where we store our archives and looked back at the 10 years of tabloid editions we’ve published. Our newspaper originally published as a 32" broadsheet back in 1991. We published on that format until the year 2000 and then we switched to an 11.5" wide tabloid. The new format will measure the same width, only we’ll be 22" tall. Currently we are 15" tall. That means you’ll have to look at an additional 7 inches per page when reading the new Premiere!

You’re looking at your paper thinking about that right now aren’t you? Go get a yard stick.

Have a great week!

 

 

KWIBS - From August 16, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

When I was 13 years old, Sam Clester was the most towering human I had ever met. Standing better than 6’5" to my 5’ frame and carrying close to 300 lbs, he was a giant.

Even though imposing, he had a fun nature and gentle goofiness about him that made me love to buck paper for him.

Yes, I bucked paper. At the time, most kids my age were bucking bales. Yeah, they were tough throwing those 50lb. bales around, but that was minuscule in task compared to bucking paper.

Our paper truck came every few months. When I say truck, I mean semi truck. When I say paper, I am referring to rolls of newsprint that weighed at minimum 998 lbs.

These rolls had to be maneuvered into our building, lined up and lifted on to other rolls in our warehouse with the aid of a roll lift and chain hoist. It was hard work.

Sam would sometimes buy part of our load. He was the owner of The Belle Plaine News and owned the print shop there.

My first encounter with Sam came when my dad told me to help Sam load some rolls up in his truck. I used a small piece of wood scrapped paneling that we referred to as a "cheat" to spin the rolls. At 100 lbs., dripping wet, it was all I could do to spin one of these rolls 20 degrees at a time with a butt-bump.

"Here now, let me show you how to do this," Sam said.

He grabbed that roll of paper and spun it 90 degrees with one shove and no cheat. I was impressed and always remembered this giant from Belle Plaine who could easily handle a 1000 lb. roll of paper in our warehouse.

Seven years later, I was married with a kid and my wife and I were starting our very own newspaper. I needed a place to print my newspaper and called Sam Clester up. He was eager for my business and we agreed to print at his plant in Belle Plaine the second weekend of July in 1991.

Our friendship has been solidified in ink, so to say. We’ve done many hours of bs’ing back and forth and I’ve seen Sam’s business grow over the years to the point of him selling off his newspaper businesses and simply becoming a "printer" of newspapers around the area. He’s gone through at least a half-dozen pressman over the years. I even worked for him for one day as a pressman while his pressman was on vacation. Although I had much experience with web press and sheet fed printing over the years, I had never printed on a News King or a Color King. Sam assured me that it was like, "Riding someone else’s bicycle." I had enough ego to give it a shot.

The agreement was that I could have my paper for free that week, if I printed for him while his pressman was on vacation. I got a quick tutorial on the press one day the previous week and then I was standing in front of this machine the following Monday.

If running this press was like riding my friend’s bicycle, then this was like a unicycle with one pedal and no seat. It kicked my butt.

After wasting more papers than I needed for my customers, and barely printing one legible copy of The Gyp Hill Premiere that week, I was a nervous wreck.

For some reason, many small towns had a bar not far from the newspaper office. Belle Plaine had one just to the south and Sam took me there. I had just barely turned 21. I had a few drinks and put an end to our "free papers for printing" deal. I was out of my league.

Sam understood and let me off the hook. He even discounted my shabby print job that week. I went home with my tail between my legs and we never talked about it again until last Saturday.

Ronda and I were on our way to Wichita when my phone rang. It was Sam.

Sam usually only calls when there’s bad news. Things like: the press is broke down or I’m behind on my printing bill. He wanted to eat lunch and talk face to face. When I hung up the phone, I turned to Ronda and asked, "Are we behind on our printing bill?" We weren’t.

Sam met us for lunch and explained that he was selling off his printing business and retiring. I’m not surprised by his decision. I’m now close to the same age that Sam was when we first met. I’ve known him for almost 27 years now.

He was one of the people who helped me start the newspaper more than 1000 press runs and close to 20 years ago. I’ve trusted him and his staff to provide our town with a finished product for all of these years and in two press runs after this paper, it will come to an end. He’s never let me down and he’s been there when the times were tough. There were times in the history of this newspaper, that if it weren’t for Sam’s generosity and patience, we might not have made it.

I thanked Sam in person and on the phone this week, but wanted to print my gratefulness in ink, this one last time - with Sam’s ink and paper.

Sam told me that I had courage for going up against the big boys of the newspaper industry and starting The Gyp Hill Premiere years ago. I told him I was just too young and simply too stupid to know better.

He said, "I guess there’s a fine line between courage and stupidity." I agree, but Sam has had the courage to stick it out for all these years and we’ll never forget his help and will always call him a friend.

Starting Monday, September 6, we will be changing to a new format and printing with The Hutchinson News. On most Mondays, the newspaper will actually be delivered earlier than normal. If all goes as planned, you’ll notice some big and exciting changes for our little town’s newspaper.

Have a great week!

- 30 -

 

KWIBS - From August 9, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

As I wrote last week, Joey and Nick Gaertner returned from New York City after a week-long adventure.

The kids had a great time and took some amazing photos.

We looked through a thousand photos last week and we’ve decided that Ronda and I should take a trip to New York someday.

I’m proud of you Joey and I’m glad you got to go on such an awesome summer trip.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 2, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

At about the time this newspaper comes out, I'll be heading to Wichita to pick up my son from the airport.

Call me a bad parent or consider me for father of the year, but I let my 17-year-old son travel to New York City with a friend for a week long adventure.

The trip was completely planned by my son Joey and his 19-year-old friend Soeren Niklas Gaertner of Germany. Many of you will remember Gaertner as the 2007-2008 AFS student that lived with John Nixon. Nick, as I'll refer to him, came back for a visit this summer, spending 6 weeks here between his last year of high school and his first year of college. He'll be moving to Holland to attend school in a week from now.

Upon learning that Nick would be traveling to see New York City, Joey became interested in seeing the city himself. At first there was protest from my wife, but she came around and they finalized their plans a couple of weeks ago.

Joey paid for the trip with his own hard earned money. He's an industrious young man who saves his money for such an event or to satisfy his fetish for electronics. I'm sure he's broke now..... He's also no stanger to traveling. Two years ago he went to Mexico wtih a local church group. Over Christmas break he toured Washington, D.C. He's been the most adventurous of all of our children. He's even considering a month in Europe after his graduation in the spring from MLHS to visit John Nixon's three former AFS students.

I took the boys to the airport and listened to them as they formed their "bucket list" for their trip. It included the John Lennon Memorial. Joey is a huge Beatles fan. It also included Central Park, the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, The U.N. Headquarters, The Brooklyn Bridge, St. Paul's Cathedral, Madison Square Garden, two famous art museums, Times Square, China Town, Little Italy and the list went on and on. I couldn't believe the journey these two kids were about to take.

Their flight left at 6 a.m. from Wichita and they arrived safely in New York shortly before noon. On their first day in New York, they conquered the subway, went to the Hard Rock Cafe and then stumbled on to a Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers concert at Madison Square Garden. Tom Petty is one of our favorite musicians and Ronda and I were extremely jealous of their good fortune. They bought tickets from a scalper and saw the sold out concert. Their trip back to their hotel was literally a 10 minute walk.

As scared as I was to send my son/monkey to the concrete jungle, I thought about how much this trip will shape his future. The confidence he gained and the experience he's had will last a life time. I'm grateful to Nick for his guidance and travel experience and for helping Joey see so much on this trip and thanking God for their safe return to Kansas.

KWIBS - From July 26, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

 Our Aunt and Uncle, Greg and Debra Alexander from Mulvane, KS were here this week doing some fishing, kayaking and swimming.

Thursday afternoon they stopped in the office to show us Greg’s boo-boo. While fishing he caught more than just a fish. He ran a hook through his finger which resulted in a trip to our local emergency room.

Greg admitted that our ER facilities were lacking, but made a comment that echos with almost anyone who is fortunate/unfortunate enough to end up there. Greg said that, "I’ve never had that kind of attention before from hospital staff."

That’s what has always made MLMH a great place to be when you need health care.

Two weeks ago we had our grandmother in the hospital, twice in just a week. The hospital was completely full. The staff was busy, working in tight spaces in their ER, but they performed flawlessly in spite of the things that are needed for their facility.

I thought about what kind of message our community has sent them over the past two years as we’ve waited for the funding that was voted on back in 2008. If your voice wasn’t heard then now is the time for action.

It’s just one of many issues in our county to consider, but because they’ve always been there for us, we should be there for them on August 3rd.

KWIBS - From July 19, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Len Gratteri and Rod Cook were in Medicine Lodge on Tuesday, July 13 at the Lincoln Library to promote their book: William Sherod Robinson, Alias Ben Wheeler.

I’ve been excited about this book for weeks and was second in line behind Roger Lukens for my autographed copy that day.

The book is an in-depth look at the life of the outlaw we always called Ben Wheeler. I’m not going to spoil it, but the book offers some different insights to the bank robbery and characters involved in one of our town’s claim to fame.

The book also contains many pictures and documents about the historic 1884 bank robbery in Medicine Lodge.

I believe the book will be sold at The Medicine Lodge Stockade Museum. You can also get a copy at the Lincoln Library.

? ? ? ?

At the time of this publication, my little girl, Breeann Noland, became Breeann Schaffer over the weekend. She and her new husband, Devin, will be home today from their little honeymoon to Wichita.

We’ll be anxious for them to come home. We baby-sat our grandson, Kycen, all weekend. I am sure he’ll be as excited to see his mommy and daddy as we will be!

Congratulations Breeann and Devin!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 12, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Kycen Joseph Schaffer is excited to announce the approaching marriage of his mommy and daddy, Breeann Alaina Noland and Devin Michael Schaffer.

It all started October 3, 1989.

It seems to me that only a few short years ago Ronda and I had a little girl. We helped her learn to crawl and then to walk.

She went to her first day of preschool and then on to kindergarten. We taught her how to ride a bike, then a motorcycle and then to drive a car.

Our little girl matured before our very eyes. She certified in SCUBA, graduated from high school and then left home for college.

Life changed for us after Breeann graduated from high school and moved out on her own. She met a young man named Devin Schaffer. Their relationship soon resulted in a pregancy and earlier this year we welcomed our first grandson into the world. Kycen Joseph Schaffer was born on 01-11-10. The news of Breeann becoming pregnant and not finishing her education was at first devastating to us. In reality, it has been the best thing to ever happen to our family.

Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

If I’ve learned anything in life it’s, our plans are not our own. We think we know how things will turn out, but we’re often surprised how they actually do turn out!

Devin and Breeann stayed together through the birth of their son and now are getting married next weekend.

Sure their lives might seem a little backwards - meet, have a baby and then get married. We’ve never claimed to be the perfect family. We only claim that God has a perfect plan for our lives.

We are so thankful that Devin loves her. And she has found someone she loves and that he is a good father to their son.

Our little girl is getting her special day on Saturday, July 17, 2010. They will be married in the morning with family in attendence in front of the beach area at Lake Arrowhead. The same lake she learned to swim in, was baptised in and has played at nearly every summer weekend of her life. Her little boy Kycen is loving this same spot only 6 months into his life and I’m sure he will spend many years swimming and playing there.

Who knows what life might bring us next? Maybe one day in the near future, Kycen will be writing a column about his daughter and upcoming marriage.

Life flies when you’re having fun.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 6, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I’m so not a morning person.

So Tuesday, I rolled out of bed and made my way to the coffee pot. It was 7:10 a.m. That’s when I wake up. My brain wakes up somewhere around 8 a.m. The only portion of my brain to wake up before that controls simple motor functions like breathing, my heart beat, limited vision and hearing and some lower limb activity. To my surprise there was a line in front of the coffee pot. Since I wasn’t very focused, I grabbed a cup and looked at the line.

I thought, "Who the heck is this guy in line for my coffee and why is there even a line?"

Upon a closer look, I realized it was my 17-year-old son.

He turned after he had filled up his coffee cup. "Good morning sir."

I’m sure I sounded very grumpy when I said, "Why are you drinking my coffee?"

"I like coffee now!" He said.

Joey was all dressed for work and was sitting down at the counter with his very own cup of "Joe". He had the dumbest grin I’ve ever seen on his face. He almost looked like he was on something.

"This stuff is great," he said, almost yelling. I barely made that out as fast as he was talking.

I just rolled my eyes. Then I thought about my first cup of coffee. My dad had landed a contract for Gibson’s discount stores years ago and we had to pull a few all-nighters printing their sale fliers. I was only a junior in high school, nearly the same age as Joey. I was getting super tired about 5 hours into a press run and one of the people working for my dad at the time poured me a thick cup of black coffee. It was the most terrible thing I had ever injested.

I remember pouring about a cup of sugar and half a gallon of cream in it so that I could stomach it. As the night went on, I was feeling great. So great, in fact, I didn’t even go to bed. I left the office and went straight to school!

As the years rolled on, I kept drinking coffee, but lost the urge to have all of the sugar and cream in it. Actually, I had just discovered that it was a lot easier and a lot less work to just drink it black.

My wife and I have a long history of drinking coffee and some very humorous stories about drinking it. Neither of us function without it and will lie, steal and possibly even kill if we don’t get it in the mornings. One evening years ago, we spent an unexpected night at our cousins’ house in Wichita. Being an early riser, my wife was the first up and on the hunt for the magic brown fluid we must have.

Not being familiar with our cousins’ house, Ronda searched frantically for coffee. After finding the coffee pot and some stale coffee (our cousins aren’t big coffee drinkers) she went in search of the coffee filters. Apparently, the search for coffee filters went on for several minutes before Ronda’s survival instincts kicked in. She finally gave up and began thinking of ways to make coffee without the coffee filter.

Minutes later I could smell the coffee brewing and knew it was my cue to get up and partake. Little did I know what she had done.

I poured myself a cup and sat down at the breakfast table. Just as I was about to take a sip she said, "I had to improvise on the coffee this morning."

The cup was nearly at my lips. The aroma filled my nose with joy.

"I couldn’t find the filters so I went into the baby’s room and searched for something to make a filter with," she said.

"Oh?," I said.

By this time I was flirting with the warmth of the coffee on my lips.

"I got a diaper out and cut out the middle and made a filter," she proudly proclaimed!

I put the coffee down and I know I must have looked scared.

"What’s wrong," she asked?

By this time our cousin Andy was in the room and overheard her coffee story and ran into the baby’s room. He returned with the diaper box and began reading the laundry list of chemicals in the diapers.

The anatomy of a Disposable Diaper: The outer cover of a disposable diaper is made of special plastic that has been formulated to feel like cloth. But it's still plastic, and it is waterproof and coffee proof, so Ronda cut that part off.

The absorbent middle layer, or Ronda’s makeshift coffee filter, is the essence of the "magic" disposable. It has a cotton/polyester mesh that covers a chemical powder that will turn into gel when it gets wet and release pleasing fragrance. The gel is supposed to stay inside the diaper but it's common for parents to find gel beads on their baby's skin during a diaper change or in Ronda’s case, in the bottom of her cup. The gel will allow for multiple pees, or one good brew, before needing a change. The child will probably not feel wet until the diaper gets very full. And for the coffee drinker? Well, the coffee drinker may or may not become ill, depending on how many cups he or she drinks from the baby diaper coffee filter.

It was an hour later before we made it to Starbucks, but I am proud to say, I made it without drinking Ronda’s survival brew.

As I sat and watched my son enjoying his coffee I thought about all the adventures he’ll have enjoying this magical drink.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 6, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

People are always sending me emails. Most are just jokes, but occasionally I get the "useless facts" message. I read them and then ponder to myself why I need to know these things.

However interesting, they are useless to me in my day to day life. This week I got some facts sent to me titled "interesting". I have put my comments about them in italics and made them even more interesting!

If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side. If you are ambidextrous you swallow your food whole.

The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal. It would have sent out an SOSA (save our sorry arses), but they ran out of time.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. Most caves have a no right turn lane.

Men’s shirts have the buttons on the right, but women’s shirts have the buttons on the left. Men’s breasts always turn right when exiting their shirts.

The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids. It’s call kniwing.

Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks. Just like men can’t be wrong if they don’t open their mouths.

Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die. Achoo! I just got dumber.

Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart. Your right arm is slightly longer to compensate for the loss in balance.

The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate. Really? Whitehouse?

When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red. But no one sees or cares about an embarrassed stomach lining.

When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red. That’s why hippos don’t wear white after Labor Day.

The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor. Harley Davidson immediately discovered that their motorcycles would not run on tomatoes.

The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples. I always thought it was ice cream that caused that.

There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower. You lose count when falling down them.

Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death. But few dead people continue to go to the barber.

Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die. and 199 million, 600,000 thousand people say, woa... that was close.

Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself." 4 out of 5 suicide victims have plaque tartar build up.

Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump. Small kangaroos say, "weeeeeeee!" It's also common knowledge that kangaroos carry their young in pouches and ants can lift many times their own weight, but few realize that an ant can't lift a kangaroo and kangaroos seldom carry ants in their pouches.

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause. If the horse has all four legs off the ground the person died trying to sky dive with his horse.

The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!! Once......

It’s a fact: Ancient rock pictures, recently discovered in a prehistoric cave in France, reveal that as early as 2 million years ago, cavemen were really bad at drawing.

I hope you’re smarter for reading this....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 21, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I didn’t have enough room in my column last week to mention a couple of important items in my life. I didn’t forget them.

Sunday was Father’s Day. I’m blessed to have my father still with me and also blessed to have my children, and now a grandson, who love me.

None of this would have been possible without a June 17, 1988 wedding. Ronda and I celebrated our 22nd anniversary last Thursday. I love you Ronda!

Then, quietly, a number changed on our front page this week. Volume 20, Issue 1. This might not mean much to you, but it marks the beginning of our 20th year as Medicine Lodge’s newspaper.

We couldn’t have done this without you!

KWIBS - From June 14, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I’m still reflecting on Memorial Day.

For the past couple of weeks, I have heard such great things about Maj. Robert Stutler’s Memorial Day speech and also had the opportunity to talk with some veterans in our area.

My column may be more appropriate for our 4th of July edition, but this should be a reminder to us all of what our nation has always stood for. I just happened to glance at the calendar and saw that it was Flag Day today.

Last week I received a YouTube video of a former Marine singing what he said was the last verse of the Star Spangled Banner.

I’m 40 years old and I had never even heard that verse. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t even learn in school that we had more than one verse to our National Anthem.

I got on line and read the lyrics that Francis Scott Key penned in 1814. I also read up on Key himself.

from wikipedia:

During the War of 1812, Key, accompanied by the American Prisoner Exchange Agent Colonel John Stuart Skinner, dined aboard the British ship HMS Tonnant, as the guests of three British officers: Vice Admiral Alexander Cochrane, Rear Admiral Sir George Cockburn, and Major General Robert Ross. Skinner and Key were there to negotiate the release of prisoners, one being Dr. William Beanes. Beanes was a resident of Upper Marlboro, Maryland and had been captured by the British after he placed rowdy stragglers under citizen's arrest with a group of men. Skinner, Key, and Beanes were not allowed to return to their own sloop, they had become familiar with the strength and position of the British units and with the British intent to attack Baltimore. As a result of this, Key was unable to do anything but watch the bombarding of the American forces at Fort McHenry during the Battle of Baltimore on the night of September 13–September 14, 1814.

When the smoke cleared, Key was able to see an American flag still waving and reported this to the prisoners below deck. On the way back to Baltimore, he was inspired to write a poem describing his experience, "The Defence of Fort McHenry", which he published in the Patriot on September 20, 1814. He intended to fit the rhythms of composer John Stafford Smith's "To Anacreon in Heaven". It has become better known as "The Star Spangled Banner". Under this name, the song was adopted as the American National Anthem, first by an Executive Order from President Woodrow Wilson in 1916 (which had little effect beyond requiring military bands to play it) and then by a Congressional resolution in 1931, signed by President Herbert Hoover.

Here’s that song --

Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light

What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?

And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.

Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,

Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,

What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,

As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?

Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,

In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:

'Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore

That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,

A home and a country should leave us no more!

Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.

No refuge could save the hireling and slave

From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:

And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand

Between their loved home and the war's desolation!

Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land

Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,

And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."

And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

In the fourth stanza Key urged the adoption of "In God is our Trust" as the national motto. The United States adopted the motto "In God We Trust" by law in 1956.

For years, groups like the ACLU have fought to have that removed everywhere from our classrooms, courthouses and currency.

We live in such a great country. We have so many God given freedoms that we take for granted.

Have a great week!

and Happy Flag Day!

 

KWIBS - From June 7, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I did something so crazy last week, I’m almost ashamed to write about it. This was completely out of character for me. I took 4 whole days off in a row from work!

For the first time in nearly a decade, I took a very long weekend.

What did I do with all my time off, you ask?

Well, I worked on my jet ski for the kids, changed spark plugs in the boat. I worked on a 4 wheeler for my cousins, I dredged the bottom of the lake looking for my wife’s lost shoe, I aired up floatation toys at the lake, I fixed a sump pump in the basement at the farm house that had quit and flooded everywhere and I baby-sat my grandson!

It doesn’t sound like time off, but it was one of the best "Memorial Day" weekends I have ever had. In addition to all that extra work stuff, I watched my kids ski and tube, play baseball and play in the water. I also got to enjoy my grandson’s first weekend of his life at the lake. I just got to hang out with my family and some friends for several days of sun and fun.

I guess the worst thing about the weekend was, it ended.

Bring on summer!

KWIBS - From June 1, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

It's been exactly one year ago since Dorfus CrackTractor played together and the band is preparing to get together for its second annual reunion show here in Medicine Lodge this weekend for JuneFest. For those that remember, Dorfus CrackTractor is a band made up of myself, my former Editor David Fasgold and local Deputy Sheriff Justin Rugg. Our band played events, clubs and venues in the area for about 4 years before taking a break in July of 2007. Back then, gas was inching up over $4 a gallon and David had moved to Oklahoma City, making it hard for us to make enough money even to pay our gas to get to shows in Wichita which was nearly half way for all of us.

Gas is slightly cheaper now and since we’re all still friends, we’ve decided to get together and do another show before we forget all of our material. The idea for the second annual reunion stemmed from an email from Jessica Rausch with the Chamber of Commerce last fall.

I called up David Fasgold and Justin Rugg and we set it up for this coming Saturday, June 5th.

If you never caught a show, Dorfus was full of whacky costume changes, part comedy act with parodies of songs and we played a wide variety of music from rock, swing, country, disco and even rap. Some of our costumes (they don’t fit anymore!), along with our talent are gone, but we’re still up to playing a street dance for those who remember us and maybe a few who don’t!

So, we're keeping our fingers crossed that we still have a few of those fans that will come out and dance on Saturday and welcome David Fasgold back into our community for this one night only event.

We're throwing this together with a short rehearsal the Friday night before, so expect to hear a few minor train wrecks!

This will be a family-friendly show. So, make plans on Saturday to come out see us for Junefest 2010!!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 17, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

On behalf of the paper, I want to take a moment to congratulate the class of MLHS 2010. I also want to take a moment, as a member of the human race, to apologize for not having flying cars by now. I know we were all promised them by the year 2010, but we might have to wait until the class of 2020.

Seriously, congratulations graduates. I know you’re all thinking, "We’ve got to get out of here!" I encourage you to take one day at a time and enjoy life. You’ll grow old faster than you think!

God bless - Grandpa Kev, Class of 1988.

KWIBS - From May 10, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

It’s not too often that we hearabout those who grew up here in Medicine Lodge who do really cool things in life. David Mayfield, son of Trude and Ellis Mayfield, is one of those guys who just gets to do the coolest things! I hear stories about him in movies and meeting famous people from his parents.

Last week, David forwarded me a photo of him and Kenny Rogers together! Now you wouldn’t think it, but I actually think Kenny Rogers is pretty cool and I used to listen to his music growing up.

David writes.......

Hey Kevin..I drive Limos part time out here and Kenny was coming to town to do a concert at the Renovated Fox Theater, here in downtown Riverside, originally built in 1929?.." Gone with the Wind " Premiered here in 1939.

Anyway the boss knew I was a country fan, and asked if I would want to drive him.. DUH, I said Heck Yes!! The boss gave his manager my name and phone#.. I got a call Saturday morning 5/1/10 from the manager confirming that I would be driving, and he also indicated that Mr. Rogers was an avid photographer and would like to take some pictures at the Mission Inn (an historic hotel here that dates back to the 1890's) and wanted to know if I could set something up. I told him I would try.. The manager said they were getting on the private jet now, leaving Nebraska, and would be there that afternoon at 4:30p.m.

I was there waiting when the jet pulled up.. Kenny got out and kept eye contact with me as he walked up.. With a big smile, and his hand extended.. he said, " Hi Dave, I'm Kenny Rogers, Nice to meet you."

I told him that it was an honor to meet him and that I had made arrangements for him to take as many pictures as he wanted. He told me thanks - let’s go do it..

He spent about 45 mins. in the hotel taking pictures. He later told me that he has 4 books out on all the pictures he has taken, and working on his 5th. We then went to the concert sight. There was a fan standing at the security gate waiting to have some albums signed.. Kenny told me to stop so he could sign them for him.. 6 albums ..and he signed every one of them.

We drove up to the back stage area.. Kenny's manager invited me to come in and han gout with them and watch the show from backstage.. In the green room area, I told Kenny that my Mom and Dad were big fans of his for 40 years or so, and that I used to listen to his albums all the time.. I asked him if I could get a picture with him and he said "Of course". He put his arm around me.. and with a smile said, " You know it was child abuse, your parents making you listen to my music at such a young age!"

I laughed and said, "No way, I love your music". I told him my mom asked for an autograph.. So he grabbed a concert program and wrote, "To: Trude, Where were You ??" and signed KENNY ROGERS.

We then went down stairs to the stage area for the concert. I stood just off stage with his stage manager and listened to that man sing..(HE STILL HAS IT !!!! )

At the end of the night.. I drove him back to his jet.

He thanked me for doing such a great job.. and his manager gave me a couple of bills and said, "Have dinner on Kenny!"

I told him that it was an honor and pleasure to meet and drive for him. He shook my hand again and boarded his jet and flew off onto the night for his next gig.... Below is Kenny Rogers and David Mayfield.

 

KWIBS - From May 3, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Years of playing in bands and listening to loud music have taken its toll on my hearing. Towards the end of my rock and roll days, I bought wireless in-ear monitors to try and salvage what little hearing I had left.

People say things to me and I usually say, "huh?" and ask them to repeat what they just said.

Background noises really throw me off and going to meetings, I have trouble hearing things, so I purchased a digital recorder to assist me in getting the facts correct. These things work great as long as you can hear what you just recorded....

Last week I attended the PBC meeting at Southern Pioneer here in Medicine Lodge. I took extensive notes and also recorded the meeting. I listened to the recording several times to check my facts and was satisfied with my story after a couple of proofreads. Then on Tuesday morning I got an email saying I had misspelled the name of the company that did the report for the county commissioners and hospital boards. I wrote "Burden Associates". It was "Virden Associates!"

Can someone say, "Beltone?"

? ? ? ?

Monday afternoon we were finishing up at the office and Ronda and I began making plans for dinner.

Earlier last week, I had received a package from California. It was a huge box of fresh avocados! I got them from an unnamed gentlemen that I had bailed out of jail in Pratt County. He expressed his gratefulness with produce from his farm.

My wife and I love avocados, but when you get 40 of them at once, and they all begin to ripen at once, you have to start getting creative. The first thing I suggested is a giant bowl of guacamole le! We did that, but we also decided to have chicken on the grill, wrapped in smoked bacon, with cheese melted over tomato and avocado. mmmmmm.

We were talking about the guacamole and wondering about seasoning and my son Joey pops up and said, "Isle one, left of the peanut butter."

Joey recently became employed by White’s and is now a great source in helping us find different items at the local grocery store. He’s also great entertainment when it comes to shopping.

The other day the family stopped at White’s after church and as we were taking items off of the shelf, Joey was following us straigtening and arranging the items. He wasn’t even working that day.....

So Monday we went shopping to get chicken, asparagus, milk, cheese, tomatos and biscuits. We ended up also purchasing an apple pie, some roasted nuts and a bunch of other things not on our list.

We checked out and drove home to prepare this dinner that had our mouths watering all afternoon. I started up the grill and Ronda began preparing the other entrees. I was inside looking for the chicken to get it seasoned for the grill when my boys came running in screaming, "Dad, FIRE, FIRE!!"

I ran outside to find my grill in flames, an apparant grease fire from last year’s left over grilling. I knew I should have cleaned the grease out before the current grilling season, but I was lazy and decided it would just burn off. And it did.

Calmly, I shut the gas off and pulled the grill away from the house (which sort of warped the siding for the third time since I have lived there). After about 30 minutes the grill cooled down to 400 from its peak that had reached over a 1000 degrees.

That sort of temperature would have cooked the chicken in about 2 minutes..... had we remembered the chicken.

Ronda called the grocery store and we had left the chicken in the bottom basket of the cart, along with our milk. The good news was we didn’t pay for the chicken or the milk and they just restocked it. The bad news was, we had all of this other food we had started preparing and we were not making a trip back to town.

I dug around in the freezer and found a sack of half freezer burned chicken and threw it in some warm water for defrosting. Things were not looking good for supper. Ronda was already making noise that we should just go out and eat, but I was determined to fix this meal.

We ate a little later than expected, but our dinner turned out fantastic. I guess the worst thing was that we had to ration our cereal for the evening and next morning, but we had milk to spare!

We also got a good laugh. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 26, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Last weekend, my Aunt and Uncle from New Hampshire came to town for a visit.

It had been nearly 11 years since I last saw my Uncle Mike, my mom’s youngest brother.

Not many 40-year-olds can say this. I met my Aunt Laurie for the very first time this past weekend. She’s lovely and intelligent. She teaches middle school science. I’ve never even met my two cousins Miles and Tristan.

Dare I ever admit a favorite uncle. I have three and they are all great men, with great stories, but I have always been partial to this uncle.

When I was younger and used to visit my Grandpa Joe in Rhode Island, my Uncle Mike gave me special attention and always made sure I had the coolest Christmas presents. To this day, we still get a package from Uncle Mike and Aunt Laurie.

My Uncle, Mike Amaral works for Wildlife and Parks. His exact title is unclear to me, but he’s dealt in the area of endangered species for as long as I can remember. The last time I saw him, he was on his way in to Oklahoma to study some kind of poop-eating beetle.

Most recently, he appeared in a segment on the Discovery Channel special about the Appalachian Mountains. He is seen repelling down the side of a mountain to look at a nest of hawks in a crevice.

On one day of their trip to Kansas to see my mother, my sister’s family and ours, he spent some time around our ponds, picking up bugs and trying to observe a water snake that wasn’t interested in my uncle’s curiosity. I learned what dragonflies look like before they become dragonflies!

Both my aunt and uncle are like walking classrooms. On Monday we went to Hutchinson to the Cosmosphere. During a demonstration on rocketry, my Aunt Laurie sat on the front row of the group and quickly answered all of the questions of the person portraying Dr. Goddard, the father of the U.S. rocket program.

They shared their photos of a recent family trip to Ireland. They also showed me photos of my 17 and 20 year old cousins. Miles is a blacksmith and engineer who recently built a garage near their home. It’s made entirely out of local timber that he designed, milled, jointed and raised himself along with help from his dad and a boom truck. He even made the hinges to the door in his very own blacksmith shop. My cousin Tristan spins wood on a lathe and makes beautiful salad bowls he sells and local fairs.

They hike, fish and love our planet. The miles between us have hindered a close relationship that I crave to have with this incredible family. Their time in Kansas was a real blessing to our entire family. I know my mom, my sister and I couldn’t be prouder of them and can’t wait until the next time we meet again. Have a great week!

The Amarals in Ireland

 

KWIBS - From April 19, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I wanted to give a quick, public, compliment to Doris Sorg for the "Grave Tales" series she is doing on Highland Cemetery.

I had a feeling this would be a well received series, but had no idea it would be as popular as it has been.

Doris is doing some digging on this one, pardon the pun. She’s unearthed some very interesting stories about the history makers of Medicine Lodge, so stay tuned.

If you have an interesting story to share with us about someone interred at Highland Cemetery, please drop us a note, call or email us. Doris’ email is doris@medicinelodge.com. Our phone number is 620-886-5654.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 12, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I love reading stories about crime, especially when they are funny!

As a bailbondsman, I get to hear some pretty funny stories and I usually have to keep them to myself, but this week I opened the Anthony Republican to find a story that made me roll on the floor laughing.

Note: I don’t support anyone assaulting another person and don’t find that funny. I just found the circumstances of this story very funny and wanted to share them with you.

Reprinted from The Anthony Republican on Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Eveland Charged In Assault Case

At approximately 1 a.m. last Tuesday, March 30, a disturbance occurred at 205 N. Madison in Anthony.

Johnny Gene Eveland Jr., 28, of Anthony, arrived there and physically assaulted resident Deborah Dry, according to Anthony Police Chief John Blevins. Dry knew Eveland but did not want him at her residence, Blevins said.

Blevins said that Eveland assaulted Dry with a Bible for unknown reasons and also grabbed a knife and threatened her life.

When law enforcement arrived, Blevins said, Eveland assaulted an officer before he was finally subdued. The Harper County Sheriff’s Office and Harper Police Department assisted the Anthony Police Department with the incident.

Dry was transported to Anthony Medical Center by EMS and treated for injuries sustained in the assault.

County Attorney Laurel McClellan charged Eveland with aggravated burglary, aggravated battery, obstruction official duty, aggravated battery against a law enforcement officer and criminal damage to property.

Blevins said that Eveland was not intoxicated, but tests will reveal if Eveland had drugs in his system at the time of the assault.

Eveland is being held in the Harper County Jail on a $1,000,000 cash or professional surety bond.

? ? ? ?

It is said that the word of God is a double-edged sword, but if you aren’t careful with it, it’s called assault....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 5, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I have a very small space to try and introduce some changes in The Gyp Hill Premiere.

After careful consideration, we’ve decided to retire "Yep-n-Howdy", a cartoon drawn by Blackfoot Willie since 1991.

We’ve had many requests for a crossword puzzle and a variety / entertainment section for our paper. So this week on page 3, we’re debuting our new entertainment section. At the last minute, I realized that the answer page didn’t match up to the puzzles, so please check back next week for the answers! Sorry! We’ll have them in the same edition as soon as we can work it out with the provider.

 

KWIBS - From March 29, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Things puzzle me from time to time. The recent passage of the massive health care reform bill is one of those things.

How will a government takeover of 1/6 of our economy work out for us? I hope it works out better for health care than it did for social security, the U.S. Postal Service and Medicare and Medicaid.

Without question, I believe there needed to be changes in our system, but I can never believe that a complete government takeover is the best answer.

And call me crazy or simple, but being forced to purchase something seems to go against everything I believe in. I have health insurance. I’m not exactly thrilled with it, but it’s what I can afford. If the government makes all of this affordable and gives me more coverage, hoorah! But if it squeezes me or my business even harder, then I can’t possibly tell you how frustrated it will make me.

I can’t tell you everything that’s in this bill, but I can tell you a few things. One writer about the bill stated, "It's 1,017 pages long and written in an alien form of bureaucratic English that can barely be decoded by earthlings."

A couple of good things I do know to be true about the health care bill:

- It was designed to protect consumers and reduce waste, fraud, and abuse. So, we’ll see.

- The Congressional Budget estimates the bill will reduce the deficit by at least $100 billion over ten years. A government estimate... enough said.

The fact remains that it is still a government run program at best and the language isn’t clear. No one really knows how this will affect small business owners or people who just can’t afford health insurance.

What is clear is that something must be done. The present system is broken. Waiting, or keeping what we have now, are not viable options.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 22, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I’ve always been one to be known as the "practical joker" around the office and at home. I’ve pulled some doozies on my family and employees over the years.

One of my favorites used to be stacking chairs and lumber against the bathroom door when someone was in there and stand in the hallway and watch it all come crashing in on them when they opened the door. Yes, I actually did this and had it done to me several times when David Fasgold worked for me.

Occasionally, a good one is pulled on me and because I am a good sport, I appreciate the quality of a good prank.

My wife gets my esteemed praise this week for pulling a joke on me that I actually told her how to do.

The victim of the joke is the passenger in your vehicle. We’ve all seen semi trucks towing semi trucks. You make sure your passenger is either sleeping, or in my case, reading a book. You come up on the semis (going the same direction of travel as you are) and slam on the breaks and scream! Your passenger will awaken or look up to see a semi truck coming right at them and usually empty their bladder or bowels or both.

Ronda successfully startled me (I did hold my bladder and bowels, but my heart skipped a few beats). We were traveling home from Oklahoma City this weekend and when she screamed, I totally fell for it and screamed a little too. We both got a good laugh. The following photos illustrate how to set it up and what it actually looks like when you pull this joke on your next sleeping or occupied passenger on the interstate.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From March 15, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

People come and go over the years in Medicine Lodge. Some of them make a huge mark on our community. Others disappear without a trace and are long forgotten.

Thursday of last week, I was in my office working, when I heard a costumer speaking with the girls up front. The voice was strangely familiar. I hadn’t heard it in quite some time, but it triggered my memory sensors.

I overheard Ronda say, "Oh my gosh! You look so different! Kevin! Come up here and see who is here!"

I already knew who it was by the sound of her voice, so I stepped out of my office.

I couldn’t believe my eyes! She had changed so much since I had seen her last. I think you could say with little doubt, that retirement is good!

Now, you are wondering, who is he talking about?

Rather than just telling you, I chased her down to Somewhere in Time to snap a photo. I thought it would be fun to play a little guessing game with my readers. Some of you who have been away for some time, won’t know her, but locally, you’ll know this lady if you can only recognize her now!

The only clue you get is this "super" photo I took of her!

If you can’t guess who she is, send me an email and I’ll give you this answer: knoland@cyberlodg.com

 

KWIBS - From March 8, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Call me sick and twisted, but after a week of putting together a newspaper, I sometimes relax by searching the archives of the strange and unusual news events on the Internet.

Last week was a particularly interesting/weird week for news and I thought I would share a couple of the more humorous stories with you.

The first story somewhat surprised me, but being a bail bondsman, I have dealt with a similar situation. I once bailed an 82-year-old gentleman out of jail for a DUI when he got in his car in Wichita, headed for Joplin, MO and ended up in Medicine Lodge, KS. So I guess crime doesn't discriminate on basis of age.

Granny gone wrong....

An 80-year-old woman with a criminal record stretching back to 1955 has been sentenced to three years in state prison for ransacking and stealing cash from a Southern California medical office. Doris Thompson thanked a judge Wednesday for not sending her to Los Angeles County jail, which she doesn't like, and said she deserved a longer sentence. She also told the judge, "God bless you."

State records show Thompson, who has used 27 aliases, has repeatedly been arrested during the past 55 years, mainly for petty theft and burglary. She's gone to jail several times.

Thompson slipped into the medical office on Dec. 19 and stole money from drawers. She pleaded guilty to burglary and was ordered to pay about $1,400 in restitution. She will be eligible for parole in about 18 months.

The following story is true, but I added my own headline for humor purposes.

Never take spit to a sword fight....

Police said the mother of an elementary school student drank a 40 ounce bottle of malt liquor before brandishing a sword in her child's school. The woman, 32, apparently intended to confront the parents of another child who had been in a spitting match with her child the previous day.

According to court records, an employee at Riverview Elementary School in Memphis reported a drunk woman armed with a sword was running through the halls of the school and had threatened to cut her.

Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black cane that concealed the blade.

The woman charged with aggravated assault and having a weapon on school property.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 1, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I wanted to take a moment to recognize a few people in our community who have been behind the scenes here at the paper.

You may or may not look at photo credits and bylines in the paper. If you are like some that don't look, you may not realize that we have several people who contribute news and photos to the paper who are not regular staff. We're a small town paper whose success is credited to the people who take pride in our community by sharing news and photos with our readers.

I'm very fortunate to have Daryl Musgrove taking our high school sports photos, Becky Clouse contributing NBCRC and grade school photos and Daryl Honas writing our Lady Indians' sports news. I couldn't do it without you guys and I can't thank you enough!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From February 22, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Anyone who has ever entered my office has noticed my "white board" behind my desk.

This board sort of acts as the memory portion of my brain. I keep track of the week's stories and advertising that needs my immediate or future attention.

I also jot down notes like who borrowed a camera or when I have a family birthday coming up.

But one of the most interesting things I keep on my board is when someone says something funny or stupid.

I'm not immune to this part of my board, which comprises more than 30% of the 4'x4' white board. I once said, "I'm going to the store to get a lead of hettuce."

Sometimes these things are just improper uses of a word or combining two words together like, "interflicted". My spell checker is going to go crazy this week.

We all say dumb things from time to time. I actually write them down and sometimes they end up in the paper...

I've kept a running tab on this board since about 2003. Most of my favorites come from my buddy Justin Rugg. Justin seems to have problems with math and English so he's made the board several times. One math problem on my board reads, "3+5=7". Another one of Justin's math problems was "1974+30=2009".

I'm not claiming to be any better at math than him, but I tend to get the easy questions right! However, I have no excuse for my bad grammar and spelling.

Here are some of my other favorites and their proper attributes:

"I was the same age as him in school." - me....

"Oliver bought a zero gravity mower." - Joey

"That's what dugs to your bain." - Doris

"Understandment" - Justin

"Suicide! It just kills me...." - Erin

"That's being a hicaprit." - a local pastor....

"We are well in to the 20th-1st century." - same pastor....

"I was oppositioned by an 80-year-old woman!" - Justin

"The truck made a transmissionish sound." - Justin

"He is bi-social and needs to be on SSI." - one of my bond customers.

"He has a depression hearing at 1:30 p.m." - same bond customer.

"He should win a Pulitzer Surprise!" - Kenny Joe

What started this column this week was a comment my wife made to me. We were watching a program on the History Channel about possible scenarios for the end of the world in 2012 (yes, just 2 short years away!).

Ronda looked at me and said in the most serious voice, "What do you think would happen if Mt. Rushmore erupted?"

I calmly looked back at her and said, "I would imagine pieces of stone presidents' faces would rain down on to the earth killing everyone in their paths."

Obviously, Ronda was talking about Mt. St. Helens or some other volcano, not Mt. Rushmore.

My daughter thought that it was pretty funny for her mother not to know the difference between Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Rushmore. My wife asked her, "Oh yeah Breeann? What is Mt. Rushmore?"

Breeann snapped back quickly and said, "It's where the Hollywood sign is!"

Another one on the board......

A big HAPPY BIRTHDAY goes out to my youngest son Nicholas! Nicholas is turning 12 on Thursday, February 25th. Only one more year before you're a teenager buddy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICHOLAS!

 

KWIBS - From February 15, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I took my son Joey to visit with an Air Force recruiter last week. He's expressed interest in the service field after high school and I couldn't be prouder of him.

It blows my mind how fast time goes by. I look back with amazement how quickly my children have grown up and how proud I am of each one of them.

I'll be the first to confess that, as a parent, I have planned each of their futures! That's a little unrealistic I understand, but our hopes for our children sometimes reflect what we wish we could have done with our own lives when we were younger.

So many older folks tell me that if they could do it all over again with what they know now, they wouldn't change a thing! That might be a little unrealistic too. That kind of knowledge would have helped me make some different decisions in life!

As I sat and listened to Joey and his plans for the future a scripture came to mind: Jer 29:11 (NIV) "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 8, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

G

Almost everyone takes issue when it comes to having their name misspelled or pronounced incorrectly.

The past 20 years of being the owner of the newspaper has made me especially conscious of that fact. We strive not to make a mistake with a name, but it happens from time to time.

There's one name that we seem to always get wrong in the paper, even though everyone in this office knows how it is spelled.

I was eating lunch on Monday at noon and got a phone call from a gentlemen who was not especially pleased about the spelling of his name in the paper. Granted, all of the letters were there in their proper order. The problem was one letter that was supposed to be capitalized was not.

Now keep in mind that it was only about 1 p.m. The paper had just come out. This is one keen reader!

We did misspell his name. It's a mistake I had made once in the past and after a good tongue lashing, I promised it would never be made by me or my staff again.

Unfortunately, the mistake repeated last Monday. In all fairness (and to pass the buck), neither me nor my staff made the error. The article was submitted by a third party. However, we failed to reproof the material for the spelling of names and opted to just run spell check over the lengthy article.

With my unintentional lack of judgment, came the spelling of one Charles "Degeer".

It should have read Charles DeGeer, with a capital G!

I do feel badly about the error and take partial responsibility for the mistake and would like to dedicate my column this week to Charles DeGeer with a little poem I've written for him.

Ode' to Charles DeGeer......

by his friend Kevin Noland, 2010

Now I'm sure old Charles wasn't really that mad,

But it irritates him to see his name wrong - real bad,

I knew in my gut

When he was chewing my butt,

That he knew I was no college grad.

I plead my case to him over the phone,

The mistakes in the past I did own,

But this wasn't my doing,

Someone else's rear he should be chewing,

Since the article was not even home grown.

And we all know how to spell his name

Because 'round here it's a name of great fame

But it's wrong in the phone book,

Don't believe me? Take a look!

A mistake none-the-less just the same....

Make no mistake his name is DeGeer,

And his name when misspelled instills great fear,

He did use such class,

While ripping my ____,

and his point was made loud and clear!

I'm timing Charles to see how long it takes him to call and comment on this week's article.

Have a great week Mr. DeGeer

 

KWIBS - From January 18, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

Something very cool happened last Monday. Most people probably didn't even notice, but it was a palindrome - 01-11-10. A palindrome is a word, phrase, number or other sequence of units that can be read the same way in either direction. I suppose, the next date to be a palindrome will occur in 11-11-11. The last one would have been 10-11-01.

Now for the really cool thing that occurred last Monday.

Ronda and I became grandparents!

Our Grandson Kycen Joseph Schaffer was born to Breeann and Devin at 3:55 p.m. at Pratt Regional Medical Center.

One of the coolest privileges of my job is getting to print my immediate family's birth announcements. The last one I printed for myself would have been Nicholas on February 25, of 1998. So it's been a while since I got to print a birth announcement and I am very proud to print this one!

Kycen was welcomed to the world by an entourage of family! Maternal grandparents are Kevin and Ronda Noland of Medicine Lodge. Paternal grandparents are Joe and Stephanie Schaffer of Pratt, and Ladonna and Richard Weiss of Germany.

Kycen is the great grandson of Don and Linda Vick, the late Barbara Vick, Joyce Noland, Ron Noland, Carole Schaffer and Linda Coffemann.

He is the great-great grandson of Mildred Meairs!

Kycen's aunts and uncles include Nicholas and Joey Noland, Gage, Libby and Joey Schaffer and Kayla and Cory Degenhardt.

He's got hundreds more cousins, great aunts and uncles - more names than I have space for or even want to try and name. I would surely leave someone out!

Bree had called us on Sunday night and said she was having contractions. We got pretty excited. In fact, we didn't get any sleep that night. As soon as we did relax, the phone rang at 2 a.m. (and Hillary was not there to answer it). Breeann was pretty sure she was in labor. The contractions were closer and closer and by 4 a.m., Breeann, Devin and Miley (their dog) were at our house to drop off Miley on the way to the hospital.

We all congregated at the hospital for what would be a very long day.

After more than 2 hours of pushing, they wheeled Breeann in for a cesarean section at about 3 p.m. Shortly before 4 p.m. on 01-11-10 the little guy came into the world and will surely be a source of joy for so many in his large family.

And because no one else in his family has a column in a newspaper, I have chosen a photo appropriately!

Kycen Joseph and K-Pa (the artist formerly known as Kevin)

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 4, 2010 - By Kevin Noland

I'm sure this week's column will constitute someone typing me an ugly email response, but I can take it.

Christmas day's attempted terrorist plot over the skies of Detroit should remind all of us that Muslim extremists still want to kill Americans.

Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab allegedly tried to ignite a device attached to his body as the Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam began its final descent in to the American city on Christmas Day. 280 passengers, mostly American were on board Northwest Airlines Flight 253.

Here are some basic facts about the terrorist himself (yes, he is a terrorist) and the events that unfolded.

Nov. 19: Abdulmutallab’s father goes to the US Embassy in Abuja, Nigeria, to express concern his son was in Yemen and had fallen under the influence of extremists.

Nov. 20: The US Embassy sends a so-called VISAS VIPER cable with the information that Abdulmutallab’s father had provided. The cable is sent to all US diplomatic missions and the State Department in Washington, where it was also shared with the interagency National Counterterrorism Center for review.

Nov. 20: Abdulmutallab’s name is entered into the National Counterterrorism Center’s Terrorist Identities Datamart Environment database based on information provided by his father.

Dec. 16: Abdulmutallab’s round-trip plane ticket is purchased in Accra, Ghana, for $2,831 in cash, presumably by Abdulmutallab himself, according to Nigerian officials.

Dec. 24: Abdulmutallab reenters Nigeria for only one day to board a flight from Lagos to Detroit, via Amsterdam.

Dec. 25: Abdulmutallab allegedly tries to bring down Northwest Airlines Flight 253 as it approaches Detroit. The plane lands safely, and he is taken to the University of Michigan Medical Center in Ann Arbor, Mich., for treatment of burns.

Dec. 27: Abdulmutallab is transferred to a federal prison in Michigan.

Hopefully, he'll never again experience freedom.

Over the past year, we've been conditioned to feel that the war on terror is no longer a priority for our country, but the facts remain clear. Extremists hate America and our values and it's time we start accepting that fact and not worry about hurting people's feelings when it comes to profiling.

Yep, I said the ugly word. Profiling.

We've been doing it for years. It might be uncomfortable to say, but let's face it - profiling would add an extra measure of protection for America's interests.

We have to stop being so PC (politically correct) in this country. I'm not saying remove fundamental rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I'm talking about common sense and scrutinizing those who choose air travel.

I've got other ideas that aren't very popular too, but it could mean protecting American lives and that means more to me than upsetting someone because of their race, color, religion or name.

We've all heard of the "do not fly" list. Why don't we have a "do fly" list? Millions of Americans use air travel for moving about the country and the world every year. Screen these people first. If you have been flying for 20 years, have no criminal background, no association with Islamic fundamentalists or known countries that support terrorism - you get a DO FLY card and you get to go through a special line at the airport for screening. It's like the fast pass at Six Flags. Go straight to the front of the line and enjoy the ride.

If you are a flyer that travels once in a while and have passed basic background checks, then you go in another line that has a little extra security for screening. You might be asked to remove your shoes, belt, be searched for weapons or "no fly" items, but don't worry. It's for your safety.

Finally, if your name can't be spoken without spitting all over, you are on a "watch list", have terroristic connections or are flying from a country that does support known terrorists, then you go to a special line and strip naked, are X-rayed and get a full body search. We're sorry for any inconvenience. You'll get an extra bag of peanuts for your flight.

KWIBS - From December 28, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Who doesn't love exchanging gag gifts year after year?

For twenty-five years, two brothers-in-law traded the same pair of gift pants back and forth between them, each time finding more inventive ways to wrap them.

The one present Roy Collette wasn’t looking forward to getting for Christmas 1988 was those darned pants. Yet he knew he was in trouble as soon as the flatbed truck bearing a concrete-filled tank off a truck used to deliver ready-mix rolled up. Sure as God made little green apples, those pants had to be in there. And he was going to have to fish them out, else declare his brotherin-law the winner of a rivalry that had then spanned 20 years.

Being the sport he is, brother-in-law Larry Kunkel thoughtfully supplied the services of a crane to hoist the concrete-filled tank off the flatbed.

What’s this game, you ask? What was the significance of these pants, and why were two grown men going to such efforts year after year to retrieve them, only to send them off again?

It all began in 1964 when Larry Kunkel’s mom gave him a pair of moleskin pants. After wearing them a few times, he found they froze stiff in Minnesota winters and thus wouldn’t do. That next Christmas, he wrapped the garment in pretty paper and presented it to his brother-in-law.

Brother-in-law Roy Collette discovered he didn’t want them either. He bided his time until the Christmas after, then packaged them up and gave them back to Kunkel. This yearly exchange proceeded amicably until one year Collette twisted the pants tightly and stuffed them into a 3-foot-long, 1-inch wide pipe.

And so the game began. Year after year, as the pants were shuffled back and forth, the brothers strove to make unwrapping them more difficult, perhaps in the hope of ending the tradition. In retaliation for the pipe, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the "bale" to Collette. Not to be outdone, Collette put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel.

The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they were as careful as they were clever. As the game evolved, so did the rules. Only "legal and moral" methods of wrapping were permitted. Wrapping expenses were kept to a minimum with only junk parts used.

Kunkel next had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year guarantee and shipped them off to Collette.

Collette broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can, which he soldered shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following Christmas.

Kunkel installed the pants in a 225-pound homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched Collette’s name on the side. Collette had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch.

Collette found a 600-pound safe and hauled it to Viracon Inc. in Owatonna, where the shipping department decorated it with red and green stripes, put the pants inside and welded the safe shut. The safe was then shipped to Kunkel, who was the plant manager for Viracon’s outlet in Bensenville.

The pants next turned up in a drab green, 3-foot cube that once was a 1974 Gremlin. A note attached to the 2,000-pound scrunched car advised Collette that the pants were inside the glove compartment.

In 1982 Kunkel faced the problem of retrieving the pants from a tire 8 feet high and 2 feet wide and filled with 6,000 pounds of concrete. On the outside Collette had written, "Have a Goodyear."

In 1983 the pants came back to Collette in a 17.5-foot red rocket ship filled with concrete and weighing 6 tons. Five feet in diameter, with pipes 6 inches in diameter outside running the length of the ship and a launching pad attached to its bottom, the rocket sported a picture of the pants fluttering atop it. Inside the rocket were 15 concrete-filled canisters, one of which housed the pants.

Collette’s revenge for the rocket ship was delivered to Kunkel in the form of a 4-ton Rubik’s Cube in 1985. The cube was made of concrete that had been baked in a kiln and covered with 2,000 board feet of lumber.

Kunkel "solved the cube," and for 1986 gift-giving repackaged the pants into a station wagon filled with 170 steel generators all welded together. Because the pants have to be retrieved undamaged, Collette was faced with carefully taking apart each component.

What happened to the pants in 1987 is a mystery, and their 1988 packaging 1989’s packaging scheme brought the demise of the much-abused garment.

Collette was inspired to encase the pantaloons in 10,000 pounds of jagged glass that he would then deposit in Kunkel’s front yard. "It would have been a great one - really messy," Kunkel ruefully admitted. The pants were shipped to a friend in Tennessee who managed a glass manufacturing company. While molten glass was being poured over the insulated container that held them, an oversized chunk fractured, transforming the pants into a pile of ashes.

The ashes were deposited into a brass urn and delivered to Kunkel along with this epitaph:

Sorry, Old Man Here lies the Pants. . . An attempt to cast the pants in glass brought about the demise of the pants at last. The urn now graces the fireplace mantel in Kunkel’s home.

 

KWIBS - From December 21, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Overly bragging Christmas letters: We have all gotten them. You may have even sent them. David's soccer team led the division. Erica played the lead in the school play, made the honor roll, again, and was elected homecoming queen. Mike got a promotion and a raise along with a large office with a private bathroom. Shelly is quite busy chairing three community charities in between serving in the food line at the homeless shelter.

Well, shucks; if Sally made the Dean's list at MIT while Steven got off with a strict warning and 200 hours of community service for his DUI, which one are you going to write about? Sometimes life is hard to write about.

Do you ever just want to write the truth and slip it in the mail to your family and friends? You can be proud of all the good things in your life, but life isn't always as smooth as one might believe from reading a Christmas letter.

Every year, I say I am going to write a Christmas letter and send out cards and every year, I forget or don't have time.

Since I didn't write a "personal" Christmas letter, mine will be more public and go something like this.....

Hey all,

It's Christmas time and wanted to give you an update on the family.

First off, I am very proud of my kids. I just wanted to get that out up front even though my daughter had to drop out of college earlier this year because she is pregnant, Joey asked me if he could get "black guy" dreadlocks last night and Nicholas is going through a very rebellious, back-talking stage. They're good kids and I couldn't have been blessed with better!

Despite some setbacks in our plans this year, Ronda and I are good and life is good. Ronda is very excited about becoming a grandma. I, on the other hand, am excited about the new baby too, but refuse to be called grandpa just yet. I prefer "K-Pa" the artist formerly known as Kevin.

Breeann and her boyfriend Devin will become parents in just a few short weeks. Devin has a good job and works for the county road and bridge department and Bree does some baby-sitting. They just moved out from the appartment above Taco/Tico and into a small house here in town. The apartment was a great start for them, but Breeann and the baby needed to be on the ground level, especially in inclement weather.

Joey has been working on his levels of Call of Duty..... and his stand-up comic act. He's doing good in school and ran cross country this year. He's been working for John Nixon, helping out with auctions, but would like to find more work. We've been talking about his future plans. He's a junior this year. It won't be long and he'll be graduating.

Nicholas played football this year for the first time and really showed some athleticism. He likes all sports, but I think football is going to be his thing. He's a big Cowboys fan (because his mother and I are) and we took him and Joey to a Kansas City vs. Dallas game back in October. That was a cool experience for him. He's also doing well in school.

Ronda and I aren't big fans of this cold weather snap we've had. I turned 40 in October and had knee surgery earlier this year. I really feel the cold weather now.

The newspaper business is going well and I am still a bail bondsman on the side. We enjoy what we do and most days and going to work is fun for us.

We experience the same challenges, victories, failures and special moments that most people do in life as each year comes and goes.

So now we take a moment to thank you for your friendship and love and remind you why we celebrate this year.

It's so easy to forget what the holiday is all about. If you're like me you have last minute shopping to do, gift wrapping, decorating, parties to go to, school programs to attend, baking, family and everything else that goes along with this time of year.

For me and my family Christmas symbolizes God's love and mercy and the gift of his Son Jesus.

My favorite scripture about this season is in Luke 2, beginning with verse 8: "And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Ronda and I may be the worst when it comes to sending out Christmas cards, but we do have bragging rights to what this season means to us and for the blessings of family and friends.

So this is our card to you all - to our friends, our family and our readers. We wish you a Merry Christmas.

We pray that the peace and hope that is Jesus's birth fills your home this holiday.

Kevin, Ronda, Breeann, Joey and Nicholas

ps: Of the 52 weeks out of each year we print a newspaper, the last two weeks of the year are the most hectic for us. Usually Christmas falls somewhere either on a print day, deadline day or smack dab in the middle of it all. We rush around at the paper weeks before, trying to schedule the time off and find ways to get work done in advance so we can produce the last two papers of the year.

We may be shutting the office down a few weeks over Christmas and New Years to spend time with our family and friends. We'll leave a note on the door if we do. If you have news, email me at knoland@cyberlodg.com.

 

KWIBS - From December 14, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Did you hear the collective "groan" on Sunday morning December the 6th?

That was the sound of those who competed in the dodge ball fund-raising event sponsored by NBCRC.

I went to the event all bummed out because my weekend plans changed. Originally, I was supposed to have been out of town and didn't get on a team, but as my luck (or lack there of) had it, I got picked up in a late draft by Norm Clouse.

Without a warm up or even an explanation of the rules, I was throwing, dodging and being hit by flying balls.

But they didn't hurt. There was no pain! That was, until the next day.

OH MY LORD! When was the last time I used that particular muscle group? It is the one that started somewhere at the top of your head and ended at your toe nail.

I limped out of bed for church Sunday, with a sort of shameful satisfaction as I remembered throwing the balls at some people in our community - ones that I had always dreamed of throwing a ball at! The event was a blast and my hat goes off to Becky Catlin and all who helped put this on. What a blast. I can't wait until February for the next one!

? ? ? ?

Please take a moment to read the following column. It's worth your time and why I even bother to put out a newspaper each week.

By Doug Anstaett

It’s not recognized as a national holiday.

We don’t get the day off from work.

We don’t have throngs of people carrying signs celebrating it — or denigrating it, for that matter.

And the day doesn’t even show up on most calendars.

In fact, if Jay Leno went Jaywalking and asked the average American citizen what we celebrate on Dec. 15 each year, he likely would get nothing more than a blank stare.

Dec. 15?

' have no idea,' would be the common answer. I’m too busy shopping for Christmas presents.

Yet, on that day and virtually every other day of the year, Americans freely exercise the rights that came with the ratification of the Bill of Rights, the first 10 amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

Freedom of speech.

Freedom of religion.

Freedom of assembly.

Freedom to petition government for a redress of grievances.

The right to due process.

The right to bear arms.

The right against self-incrimination.

The right to a jury trial.

And, lest I forget, freedom of the press.

Yes, 218 years ago, the founders accepted almost verbatim George Mason’s ÒVirginia Declaration of RightsÓ as the bedrock statement of our individual rights as Americans.

George Mason isn’t a household name, unless you’re a huge sports fan, especially of college basketball.

While we should put our nation’s founders on their own unique pedestal, we can’t lose sight of the fact that had it not been for George Mason’s dogged determination to get his ÒDeclaration of RightsÓ accepted as the first amendments to the new constitution, we might not live in a country where we can speak out, hold opinions that others find objectionable or even abhorrent, be considered innocent until proven guilty, exercise our religious beliefs or choose not to believe and assemble for or against an issue without fear of recrimination.

George Mason held back his support of the new constitution, saying that the blueprint for a new nation lacked the absolutely essential ingredients that would place the individual above the state in almost all circumstances.

Had he not done so, we might be living in a very different country today.

So, on Dec. 15, whoop it up a little in celebration of Bill of Rights Day.

And if you happen to go to a holiday party or two, you can impress your fellow guests with your knowledge of the history of the Bill of Rights.

Someone once said they never discuss politics or religion.

What country are they from?

Doug Anstaett is executive director of the Kansas Press Association.

 

KWIBS - From December 7, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Well, we made it through part I of the holiday season.

Key to the celebration of Thanksgiving is gathering with family and friends to partake of a sumptuous feast prepared in honor of the day. Central to that feast (or at least to our common mental image of it) is a roasted turkey laid on a platter before the hungry guests, the bird presented in all its mouthwatering crispy-skinned perfection.

Yet not every aspiring Thanksgiving-maker knows how to properly roast a turkey. The bird proves an utter mystery to some, resulting in many a holiday mishap of a culinary nature.

Luckily, those confounded by the fowl can access a great deal of help by calling a number of turkey preparation hotlines. While some offer only recorded tips on how to prepare and roast the bird, others provide live assistance from trained experts well experienced not only with poultry but with nervous and overwhelmed cooks. Over the years, these talk line mavens have fielded all manner of queries from those bewildered by the fickle bird.

One of the more unusual questions handled by Butterball’s Turkey Talk-Line (which the company has operated since 1981) comes from those who have mistaken a well-traveled joke for an actual recipe: They call to ask if they can pop popcorn in the turkey’s cavity during the roasting process. (The joke’s punch line is: "You know the turkey is done when the popcorn pops and blows the rear off the bird.") And no, you can’t.

The hotline has heard from a gal who couldn’t find the turkey she buried in a snowbank, a guy who wanted to know how to carve his bird with a chain saw, and a mechanic who worried about using motor oil as a baste.

Then there was the young mother who failed to notice her children playing near the oven-ready bird. The kids decided the turkey’s cavity was a good place to park toy cars. Their mom didn’t discover Ol’ Tom was doubling as a garage until after the turkey had been roasted.

Another confused cook called the Butterball line after cleaning her turkey because she wanted to know how to get the metal pieces out.

"Apparently," said one of the Butterball economists, "she had scrubbed her bird with a steel scouring pad." A West Coast woman who had taken anti-bacterial precautions too far called Butterball to find out how to get the bleach she’d used off her bird. Butterball turkey experts still talk about the Kentucky woman who called in 1993 to ask how to get her dog out of her turkey. It seems the woman’s Chihuahua had dived into the bird’s cavity and become trapped there. The woman tried pulling the pooch and shaking the bird, all to no avail. A Butterball economist finally suggested the woman carefully cut the opening in the turkey wider to release the captive canine.

The Reynolds Wrap Turkey Tips Line (800-745-4000) took a query from a woman who wanted to know if she could cook her turkey by placing it in a Reynolds Oven Bag, putting it in the window in the back of her car, and letting the heat from the sun bake the turkey. (She was told that would be an uncontrolled heat source and was instructed to use an oven instead.)

The folks at Butterball have also dealt with cooks determined to roast turkeys on the back ledges of their cars. And they’ve had people call to ask if they could cook their holiday birds on radiators. Then there was the bride who had a small, apartment-size range and was worried the turkey would get larger as it cooked (similar to a loaf of bread rising) — she was fretting she wouldn’t be able to get it out of the oven after it was done. Some other howlers include the woman who cleaned out her turkey with a scrub brush, people who thawed their turkeys in the bathtub while washing their kids, and a man looking for a quick way to cook his turkey who put it in the oven on the cleaning cycle.

There are those whose problems are not how to get the turkey out of the oven, but when. Said Nancy Rodriguez, coordinator of the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line in 1985, "One lady in Arkansas had her five-pound turkey in the oven 24 hours — did we think it was done? Another caller wanted to know the best method for reattaching the thighs and drumsticks when they fall off. His 12-pound turkey had been in the oven since 8 a.m. the day before."

The self-cleaning option offered on a number of ranges has caused its share of Thanksgiving troubles when confused cooks have inadvertently started its cycle while their birds were in the oven. Others have different range-related questions, such as: "Your directions say to roast the turkey, but my oven says only bake or broil; how do I set it?"

We’ll leave it to others to provide the more mundane advice regarding thawing and cooking times, how to prepare the bird for roasting and how to prepare stuffing, and instead offer these useful tips, as gleaned from the experiences of turkey hot line counselors:

Do not leave your turkey on your back porch, either to slow thaw it or to keep it chilled until the big day. Those who have failed to heed this advice have discovered themselves birdless on Thanksgiving morning. Their loss was the local raccoons’ gain — those masked marauders celebrated the day in fine style.

If you choose to bring home your frozen bird within the car proper rather than in the trunk, do take care to seatbelt the fowlsicle lest a sudden stop transform the star of the upcoming dinner into a weighty frozen projectile.

One woman who failed to belt down her bird was rewarded for her lack of foresight with a broken toe when a sharp tap of the brakes caused the iced fowl to slide off the seat and onto her foot.

 

KWIBS - From November 30, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Topeka, we have a problem...

The holiday season is supposed to be a time of thanksgiving and appreciation, but that's going to be difficult for Kansans.

Last week Kansas Gov. Mark Parkinson announced $259 million worth of spending cuts, reducing funds for highway maintenance and education to shore up a troubled state budget.

Parkinson made the cuts in response to a Nov. 5 revenue estimate that foretold a gap of $260 million between state revenues and approved expenditures. Parkinson said he could not promise there wouldn't be further cuts next spring when the next revenue forecast is given.

This is the 5th time reductions have been made to the state's budget and the second year in a row that Kansas has seen revenue declines. It is expected to last out to four years.

We're all going to feel this adjustment in ways that aren't going to be comfortable for us.

These cuts are now going to do severe harm to our public schools, community colleges and universities and the most vulnerable Kansans who are relying on state services to survive this economic downturn.

If you don't believe, take Governor Mark Parkinson's own words to heart, "As a result of these cuts, children’s classrooms will be overcrowded, creating an environment in which learning is a challenge for every student. Some districts will be forced to lay off teachers and close schools. The arts, athletics and extracurricular opportunities that make our schools and communities great may be a thing of the past."

But it's a business and has to operate like one, unless you are one like AIG who got billions of tax payer money to stay in business and shore up our financial institutions. Much of that money went to pay bonuses. There is so much fraud and mis-use of taxpayer money, you would think that they would build a special prison for those who have abused the system.

I'm appalled that some of this stimulus money can't be earmarked for our public school systems. It's something that is barely talked about.

It's nearly 8 months after a stimulus bill was signed by President Obama. I still wonder if that $787 billion was just a bunch of baloney.

Just a little over 10% of the stimulus money has been spent since being voted in. Of the $787.2 billion in American Recovery and Reinvestment Act funds, $499 billion is for stimulus projects, of which $157.8 billion has been made available and $56.3 billion has been spent. The biggest chunk, $22 billion, has been spent by states for Medicare and Medicaid payments.

If each state could get $1 billion of that stimulus money earmarked for "stimulus projects" and it were used to help our school systems, Kansas could balance their budget and have money left over to start funding programs that would stimulate our economy.

However, this $787 billion is all play money. We don't actually have the money that we're investing in this so called stimulus.

Government has just gotten too big and we're now in a cycle of spending more than we have and I wonder if we'll ever see the end of it.

Although I understand that cuts have to be made, I'm disappointed that we couldn't find them in other places. Education is just too important, and if our future is our children, and we're leaving them this incredible debt to shoulder, then I would think that education would be the last place we would cut. . You can bet that in the coming months we're going to see some critical services and cuts to our most basic everyday lives. One of those cuts is going to greatly affect our schools - the backbone of our community.

We've taken a "bury our heads in the sand" attitude over the past year and have been pretty critical of our school board and superintendent for making cuts and preparing for the "worse case scenario". Well, it's now the worse case scenario and it's time to pull our heads out and put them together for solutions to save our community and our state.

KWIBS - From November 16, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Another Veterans Day celebration in Medicine Lodge has come and gone. This year's program, veterans museum and lunch with a veteran brought students, veterans and the community together.

I've heard it said many times over the past few weeks that this could be the last of the veterans museum due to low attendance. I hate to hear that and I did some investigating for myself.

At 9 a.m. there were 37 students and 14 adults. At 11:25 a.m. there were 65 students and 31 adults. My son Joey said there was a steady flow of people all morning long.

Mr. Hill and his Junior Class have been doing the museum for many years and I would encourage them to keep it up. It's an amazing service to the community and such a cool way to honor our veterans.

The program at the High School was incredible. We have always, for as long as I can remember, had Mrs. Hartley heading up the event. This year she's stepped down, but is still volunteering her services to the district's celebration. I commend her for building this event up and thank her for her tireless service to our veterans.

The student essays and poems were a great tribute to our men and women who have served our country. The music was great, the dedications and the slide show brought tears to many eyes in the audience. I spoke to one veteran who said, "I fought back tears when I looked around the room and saw my fellow veterans standing for their branch song."

This program and the museum have become such an important part of our community, I can't imagine a Veterans Day without them.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 2, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

The second wave of the swine flu pandemic is now under way in the northern hemisphere. Case numbers are climbing fast and in some places vaccination has begun.

So what's the big deal? The virus hasn't evolved into the monster that some feared and most cases are mild. Were all those pandemic warnings just scare-mongering?

The Merklein family of Kiowa, probably wouldn't say so. Just over a week ago, their daughter Lauren, 14, became sick and collapsed in her hotel room while on a school trip. She died in a hospital three days later. She had an underlying heart condition, but tested positive for H1N1.

Any flu virus provides a serious threat, especially to the very old, those with underlying medical conditions and the very young. While the swine flu is not MORE virulent than previous strains of influenza, our problem is that of May 2009 scientists had not had time to produce a vaccine. As a result the virus spread more quickly than with 'normal' strains, this is why the swine flu is referred to as pandemic - world-wide.

It is interesting to look at the Spanish flu of 1918. In countries such as USA and UK about 25% of the population were infected. Of those infected approximately 3% died. While the percentages are much lower than I would have guessed, nevertheless the flu caused a huge number of actual fatalities. Just in the USA alone there were 500,000.

There's a lot of talk that the vaccine is unsafe and untested. Myths and worries about the vaccine have spread on talk radio and anti-vaccine Web sites, but Dr. Thomas R. Frieden, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention seemed to debunk them in an interview with the NY Times.

While most people recover, he said, "on average, flu is not a ‘mild’ illness. It can make you pretty sick, knock you out for a day or two or three." And in rare cases, he emphasized, it kills.

He rejected suggestions that the new vaccine is untested. Its seed strain was created, grown and purified in the same slow way as seasonal flu shots, which hundreds of millions of people have had, and rapid clinical trials last month showed the same lack of serious side effects.

What about the vaccines? I've had heated discussion with family and friends who are convinced it's more dangerous to get a flu shot than to just let the flu run its natural course.

People's nervousness about swine flu vaccines is understandable. In 1976, after the death of a US army recruit triggered fears of a repeat of the deadly 1918 pandemic, around 48 million Americans were given a swine flu vaccine. Of these, 532 developed Guillain-Barré syndrome, a paralytic condition caused by rogue antibodies attacking nerve cells. Most people recover from Guillain-Barré, but not all; 25 died after 1976 and others suffered lasting damage. The 1976 vaccine caused around 10 cases per million vaccinated.

Does this mean it is safer not getting vaccinated? Absolutely not. First, there is the risk of swine flu killing you. Second, what few people know is that flu itself is far more likely to cause Guillain-Barré than any flu vaccine.

The risk of getting Guillain-Barré from a flu vaccine is almost certainly less than 1 in a million; the risk of getting it from flu itself is more than 40 in a million. Swine flu is estimated to have killed 800 people in the US already, or more than 2 in every million so far. And during the first wave of swine flu this summer, 1 out of every 20,000 children aged 4 or under in the US ended up in hospital. Still think it's safer not to get vaccinated?

So, you are probably wondering, did I get my swine flu shot? No, unfortunately, I don't fall into a category for qualifying for the shot since it is still in short supply. My pregnant daughter did and my youngest son got his shot last week.

I have asked to be notified when the vaccine is available and I meet the criteria to get one. I too have an underlying heart condition and had an MI (Myocardial infarction or heart attack) when I was just 35 years old. I have some scar tissue and have three stents, but am otherwise healthy.

My prayers go out for the Merklein family in their time of mourning and I encourage everyone to take the flu shot when it becomes available.

 

KWIBS - From October 26, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Next weekend is Halloween and I wanted in the worst way to dress in a hospital lab coat and go as Dr. Garcia, going door to door and making house calls, but I am going to be out of town.

So maybe, Dr. Garcia could dress in shorts and flip flops and go as the local newspaper publisher? It's easy for me to dress up like a doctor, but what does a normal newspaper publisher look like? I dont' know.....

I went to the hospital's disaster training event last Saturday and Dr. Garcia was there. We always joke around about looking alike. One of the program directors was handing out assignments to the personnel at the hospital. Each EMT, nurse or staff member was given an assignment and when they got to me, I just said, "I'm Dr. Garcia's stunt double."

Wednesday is my son Joey's birthday. He's turning 17!

Happy birthday Joey!

 

KWIBS - From October 19, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

If you've ever been in a situation in which you've almost completed an important project, only to have your computer spontaneously crash seconds before hitting the "save" button, you understand how frustrating losing your data can be.

Now, imagine losing all your important files - everything from business files, to family photos, to your tax returns - permanently.

I can't stress the importance of backing up your files, but I can give you an example of why I am so thankful that I do.

Last weekend was the first weekend in about two years that I didn't do a complete backup of the newspaper on Saturday when the corrections were completed. I had to leave town and Doris finished up the paper. My plans were to do the back up and archives on Monday.

When I got back to town on Monday, I noticed my newspaper file was locked up, so I rebooted my PC. After restarting it, I attempted to open the file and it was corrupted. I had lost an entire digital issue of the newspaper. I've been electronically archiving since about 2005 and I have had a couple of issues that have become corrupted in that time.

Fortunately, I had the previous week backed up and only lost about 4-5 ads that were built last week. Our stories and photos are located on separate drives, so they were safe. I opened the previous week's file and rebuilt this week's newspaper. Thankfully, the crash happened after the newspaper had already been printed. It was a mild inconvenience to rebuild the pages, but it could have been a disaster without a recent back up.

There are many devices that can be used for backing up files. CDROMs, zip drives, tape drives, DVDs and my favorite - the flash drive. These little sticks of memory can be purchased for as little as $5 at electronic stores. I have a couple of them and frequently back up my important data, especially my family photos. If you don't have one, you should get one. And if you aren't backing up your files frequently, you should be.

We put an enormous amount of faith in computers to store our information. It only takes a simple flicker of electricity to destroy a day, a week, a month or even a lifetime of information.

What's worse, the modern computer is ever more vulnerable to the imminent threats multiplying on the Internet - everything from adware, to spyware, to viruses.

I don't care how much antivirus software you are running, if you are on the internet, you are vulnerable. Backing your files up is the only safe and sure way that your data will be protected.

? ? ? ?

We took a trip to KC last week and took our boys to see the KC Chiefs vs. Dallas Cowboys game on Sunday. It was Nicholas's first professional football game.

Nick is 11 and we watch football on TV every Sunday afternoon. He was pretty excited to be at a live event with so many people. Arrowhead Stadium is a pretty loud, and intimidating place to be and he was overwhelmed with the excitement. The game went in to overtime and ended with the Cowboys walking away with a 26-20 win over the Chiefs.

We were there in our Dallas Cowboy's jerseys. Sorry goes out to you Chiefs fans. For a while it looked like the Cowboys were going to break the Chief's losing streak. We thought we were going to have to take the walk of shame to our vehicle. I was glad that the game was close, but happier that Dallas won.

As we were leaving the stadium Nicholas was still beaming from the event and asked, "Dad, who plays next?"

I responded, "Where?"

He said, "Here!"

We all started laughing and told him the game was over and that it was time to go home.

He is so used to seeing the next game come on TV that he thought there was another game being played right after the Chiefs vs. Cowboys game. When we explained that other teams play at other stadiums he seemed a little disappointed that we weren't staying for another game. It was 35 degrees outside. I'm not sure my toes could have taken another game!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 5, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Well, a very important milestone occurred in my life over the weekend. I turned 40. 14,600 days have passed since my birth....

It sort of crept up on me with little warning and then BAM! I was 40.

I started to panic a little bit about the new age bracket. My 20s were spent being in a band, having children, publishing a newspaper, riding Harleys, getting tattoos and being a little on the wild side.

My 30s were spent being in a band, getting tattoos, publishing a newspaper, mowing the lawn, SCUBA diving, gardening and raising my kids and graduating my oldest from high school.

I know that, God willing, my 40s are going to be spent publishing a newspaper, seeing my two boys graduate from high school, gardening and welcoming my first grandchild into the world in January. I'm pretty sure I am done with tattooing, I've given up my Harley for a ZTR lawn mower, I can't afford to go SCUBA diving anymore and I really am probably too old to be in a band.

It appears that I have grown up! Ha... you only wish.

As I reflected on this, I realized the importance of keeping a journal. It's something we've discussed in our mens' group from church and the more I thought about it, the more important it became to me.

A year ago my dad was diagnosed with alzheimer's. He's pretty good at remembering most things, but there are times he struggles for the words, names and endings for stories and memories. This illness gives me personal motivation to keeping a journal.

So for one week now, I've kept a journal. I am 40 years old and just starting, but I've been cheating for years. I've written a column of some sort or fashion for the past 20 years called KWIBS. It may have only been a once-a-week entry, but it gives some idea of my thought process and things that have been important to me over the last half of my life.

So when I started on September 27, 2009, I had no idea what to write, so I pondered my day and made my first entry. It was only a few paragraphs long, but it detailed friends Dale and Michele McCurdy coming to see me for my 40th birthday. My wife set the whole thing up and it was "mostly" a surprise. I sort of figured out what was going on the day they arrived, but I'm like that. Ronda hates going to see movies with me because I'm always figuring out the endings. I'm a walking movie spoiler....

Later in the week it got easier to make journal entries. I just set a time in the evening after everyone went to bed to type out a few paragraphs about my day and my thoughts.

This one was kind of funny: Tuesday, September 29, 2009. "Ronda and I went out on the deck to drink a glass of wine. I was filling up the hot tub and a moth flew out and got in Ronda's hair. She jumped spilling her wine all over the deck and I hosed it off. She went back inside to finish her wine."

I guess my journal will contain whatever I want to write about - The beauty of the half moon I saw last night, my concerns and hopes for my children, my wife throwing wine across the deck and screaming when a moth got in her hair - whatever is on my mind.

So, I'll add journaling to my list of things I'm doing while in my 40s and I hope to continue that routine for quite a while. It will be something to look forward to along with retirement, AARP benefits, Social Security, the point where my kids stop asking me for money and grand kids start asking me for money.....

? ? ? ?

It wasn't just an important milestone for me this weekend. It was also one for my daughter Breeann. Breeann turned 20 years old on Saturday. She's exactly 20 years younger than me by just a few ticks of the clock. She'll only be half my age for this one year of her life and mine. It will be the last time I can say, "I'm twice your age!"

I smile as I write this, thinking about all she'll experience in her 20s, 30s and beyond. I love you sissy. Happy belated birthday to you.

? ? ? ?

One more milestone to talk about.... The Gyp Hill Premiere just printed its 1000th issue two weeks ago. That means over 1,000,000 copies printed. I meant to mention it, but the week it happened I was short on space. It's kind of cool that it happened near my 40th birthday. Also, it's National Newspaper Week!

 

KWIBS - From September 28, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

A school bus carrying a Texas high school swim team slid off a road and into a pond on Monday of last week.

The swim team coach, eighteen students and the driver were able to get out of the bus and swim to safety.

If any of the students were unable to swim to safety, I think you could safely say that it would have been one sorry swim team!

The driver and five students were transported to local hospitals with minor injuries.

Last week ten very courageous Junior Indians took the field against the Douglass Bulldogs who were twenty-nine boys deep. We no longer have enough players for an eleven-man team and from what I understand, we're playing the season - forfeiting our games because of the small number of players out for football this year.

The Indians even resorted to playing eight-man football last week at home, on an 11-man field, adding to their exhaustion. Our Indians are playing with heart, but even the best conditioned team can't take four quarters without rotating players and they get worn down.

So, even though they didn't win their game, they're all winners in our eyes and the Indians and Coaches Cannon and Fischer are to be commended for the effort they are putting out this season.

Keep fighting Indians! We're proud of you!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 14, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

So what, the President wanted to speak to our kids and encourage them to be good students and good citizens. I'm sure many would have been more upset if he'd told them to drop out of school and rebel against the government. You just can't win.

If the Democrats remember, they too had a problem with the President speaking to school children. President George Bush, Sr., took heat from a similar speech on October 1, 1991, from Alice Deal Junior High School in Washington DC. Democrats, then the majority party in Congress, not only denounced Bush's speech -- they also ordered the General Accounting Office to investigate its production and later summoned top Bush administration officials to Capitol Hill for an extensive hearing on the issue.

Sadly both Presidents just wanted to address and encourage school children. I don't think there were any hideous agendas involved.

I did have some fun with it even though our school did not participate in the event. Across America, many schools carried the President's address and 6th graders were asked, "What has the President inspired you to do?"

My youngest son Nicholas is a 6th grader and I had prepped him all week with what I thought would be a really witty answer to his teacher's question. He was to answer, "Vote Republican," but sadly my brainwashing was all for naught. Ha!

? ? ? ?

It will forever be known as "stinky day" in our home - the first Monday in September, renamed from the ever popular Labor Day.

Normally a day full of good smells like hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, this Labor Day started out with the fresh smell of dog poop.

Yes, at 7 a.m. Monday morning, I woke up to the sounds of my wife screaming another word for "poop". I got up to find the largest dog turds I've ever seen indoors, lying neatly in a pile in front of my bedroom door.

For clarification, we don't have an indoor dog. However on this day, in my living room was my 80 lb. German Shepherd who had the look of, "who me?" on his face.

If he could talk, he would have said, "Good morning mom and dad. I couldn't find the coffee or the filters, so I just took a crap in front of your bedroom door."

Our garage door was wide open and inside were three bags of trash spread out in what appeared to be his Labor Day celebration.

Rewinding the day....

Our dog sleeps in the garage so that we don't have to listen to him howl all night long. We had produced several bags of trash during the holiday weekend, which we placed in the garage so that the raccoons didn't get into it..... The night before, Hyde had taken out his share of food from the day's events and left a little bit of a mess. I picked everything up and scolded him. Hyde will only get into a trash sack if the bag is untied. He will not tear open a sack. He just knows better. So I can't really blame him for the night before.

As I put him away on Sunday I told him, "Don't you dare get into this trash." He looked at me and went into his crate and laid down.

Later Sunday evening my oldest son Joey came home with friends in tow at around 11:30 p.m. I was up watching TV. I had locked the front door because the bugs were gathered for their Labor Day celebration and I didn't want them moving their party into my living room. Joey knew to come in the garage door.

Last one in, shut the door. Somebody missed that one. The door between our home and the garage was left wide open and sometime in the middle of the night, Hyde came in and made himself at home. Apparently, no one had showed him where the bathroom was so he just took a stab that in front of our bedroom door was the place to go. So we spent the better part of Monday morning cleaning up dog poop. And if you have ever had an 80lb German Shepherd go #2 in your house, you can relate to the smell it made.

I also forgot to tie the bags of trash in the garage, so I cleaned that up too... again. That didn't smell very good either.

KWIBS - From August 31, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Even though other schools in the area started school as long as two weeks ago, it just seems strange that the summer break is over and it's time for our kids to start learning something again.

Like most parents, Ronda and I enjoyed the extra two weeks vacation, but we are ready for our kids to be back in school and out of our house! lol...

Classes for USD#254 begin on Wednesday. There are several new faces in our district, new classes at different buildings and many adjustments to make with the 2009-2010 school year.

I'd like to take a moment to welcome Dick Wood, chemistry and biology teacher at MLHS, Pete Jelovic, new MLHS football coach and P.E. teacher and Lindsey Ritchie, music and band teacher at MLGS.

It will be challenging for the faculty and staff of both buildings with the recent consolidations, but I have the utmost confidence in them.

I am sending out an SOS here. We don't have a sports writer to cover for MLHS football at present. I believe we're lined up for MLJH football, and MLHS volleyball and cross country. I'm looking for a parent or anyone that goes to the football games that would be interested in writing up the articles. We have an excellent photographer, Daryl Musgrove, but we've just run out of ideas on a sports writer. If you are interested in doing this, please contact our office at 620-886-5654. We love giving the kids the coverage and we know you love reading it! Thanks in advance for your help!

and.... GO INDIANS! Have a great school year!

and Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 24, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Occasionally, I've been known to be somewhat opinionated. Correction. My wife just caught that typo and I've been told that I have been known to be VERY opinionated.

My recent rants on the hospital bond situation have left some of my readers asking, "What happened to Kevin's funny columns?"

It's hard to be funny when you are being passionate about the future of your community. Yes, I believe this issue could be a factor in our future success or our future demise. We have to do something. We need to do something and it needs to be sooner, than later.

But I'll give it a little bit of a rest this week to talk to you all about body hair. Yes, body hair. My wife is groaning right now and she's pulled out her red "edit" pen.

I'm not going to get [too] disgusting, I just want to talk mainly about how cool it is to be a guy and have the option of rearranging his own face (for once) and changing appearances by simply growing a beard or a mustache.

Women don't have that luxury, thank God, of simply letting some hair grow on their chin to make them look more distinguished.

My oldest son Joey recently began his 3 month process of growing just enough hair on his chin to be noticed. I only noticed because I was like three inches from his face one day. Sometimes you have to get that close when speaking to your teenagers.

"What's that on your chin," I asked?

"That's my stache," he said proudly.

I'm going to call it his weird beard. Joey thinks it makes him look older, but he's not fooling me. He told me I was just jealous, so I ripped open my shirt and did my best Chewbacca impersonation and said, "grow hair like this and I'll be impressed!"

To which he said, "Oooo, gross dad."

Yeah, so it's 2009 now and chest hair isn't as popular as it was in 1979, but hey, I was only 9-years-old then and couldn't grow hair yet. It figures that chest hair would be out of style by the time I could grow it.

If I only had a time machine......

Joey tried to make out beard-growing to be some awesome feat. Just about anyone with testosterone can do it....

Ladies, please don't try this at home. You and your significant other will not be pleased with the results.

Here is how to grow a beard. On Day 1, do nothing. On Day 2, do nothing again. On Day 3, continue to do nothing. On Day 4, check to make sure that nothing was still being done. Then simply repeat the cycle.

I can remember my first beard. I was twenty, with long flowing hair. It only seemed natural to grow a beard. Truth be told, I did this four-day nothing cycle more by accident while working on my secret identity in the witness protection program, also known as Peace Treaty. Before I knew it, I had the foundation of a growing beard.

Later in life, I shaved it off only to frighten my children to the point they wouldn't have anything to do with me. Over time they accepted that I was their father.

A few years back, I regrew just a Fu Manchu to hide a double chin I was working on at the same time. Now I just have it because it's a part of me that people recognize it, sort of like a trademark. It's like my very own Nike swoosh.

It's weird how hair works for a guy. We are born, many of us bald. We grow some hair on our heads, (then hair grows in *uh-hum* another region), then on our chins, later on our chests. Then some of us start losing the hair on our heads, growing some on our backs, rear ends, toes, fingers and out the ears and our nose!

Life is so cruel.

So in a way Joey and I are both starting hair growing points in our lives, only on opposite ends of the hair growing spectrum.

I have a friend who has a sweet mustache. It was his birthday this weekend. Justin Rugg turned 34 and his mustache turned 30.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 17, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

"My mind is already made up so don't confuse me with the facts". - unknown

That quote really stuck with me this past week as I pondered the hospitals' situation.

Friday's commissioners' meeting was far less hostile than the last one and some light appeared that could signal some cooperation between the commissioners and the hospital boards.

And ABC's General Hospital could write a few scripts from our current situation.

The plot:

- A county wide vote in favor of new hospital facilities.

- The commissioners appoint a Public Building Commission whose job was fact finding in nature.

- Thousands of dollars of tax-payer money is spent at the request of the commissioners to guarantee that the price is right.

- This Public Building Commission recommends it and sends it to the commissioners.

- The commissioners do nothing with it.

- Outrage in the communities sets in.

- One of the hospital's administrator is abruptly fired.

- Everyone comes back to the table peacefully. For now....

You just can't make this stuff up. Tune in next week.

? ? ? ?

A headline you won't read in this week's Premiere that is a true story. "Lightning victim's pool party and fundraiser rescheduled due to lighting."

It's true. Dakota Lonker's pool party fundraiser was rescheduled after lightning moved in last Monday night.

 

KWIBS - From August 10, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Last week was one of the most stressful weeks I have ever had as a newspaper publisher.

Sadly, my lead story as of Monday was the passing of Bev McCollom. Bev passed away Sunday evening, too late for the Monday edition that was already at the press.

Bev was a dear friend to me and to The Gyp Hill Premiere. She was also a friend to so many others in our community. Her son Jerry told me that even in her final days, she requested a laptop so she could get a Meandering done for the paper.

Bev's death marks a sad chapter in our community's historical and colorful past. She was good enough to document so much history for us in her lifetime.

Bev wrote Meandering for my grandfather, my uncle, my dad and for me. Her column was a highlight every week for me and many of my readers have expressed their sadness that Meandering will no longer be on the back page.

But Bev's story, as important and worthy of front page recognition as it was, was bumped lower on the fold for a shocking story of survival when Dakota Lonker was struck by lightning during a freak storm later that afternoon.

Incredibly, Dakota survived and is now home healing up from what many are calling a miracle. We're glad to hear that he is doing well!

But before the week ended, even Dakota moved below the fold after the county commissioners met Thursday.

Many shell-shocked folks are left wondering the fate of a bond issue passed last November. A lot of people spoke to me about letters to the editor, but in the end only two wrote in. Others wanted to, but want to take a "wait and see" approach.

So, what about the vote? What about the public building commission's vote? What about the taxpayer and hospital money spent so far in what seems to be a waste? What about the needs of our health facilities?

These are all issues that will have to be addressed, sooner than later. We have a vote to form a public building commission. One has been formed and that commission recommended moving forward.

August 14, 2009 the commissioners will meet again for a public hearing on the budget. Some folks have expressed their desire to attend this meeting, but one wonders what good that will do.

I can tell you with little doubt that name calling and yelling at the commissioners will do little to no good. Cooler heads must prevail. You can have a difference of opinion and not turn it into a screaming match.

Some of the most ridiculous statements I have heard this week have come from people outside of our community through KAKE TV's website.

Here's one: Why don't you spend the money on a Life Flight helicopter with crew. That way you can transport those people with critical emergencies to the Pratt medical center which is only about 22 miles away.

Folks, nobody knows better the needs of Barber County than her residents. That includes: other county commissioners or other clerks, other health care professionals or anybody else outside this county. We're unique (not to be confused with eunuch, just a little humor to lighten the mood) in the respect that we have population spread out through our entire county and not congested into one urban setting. We also have good oil and land evaluations.

There are good things going for this county, but we have to seize the day! Carpe diem!

Our declining population is of our own doing. We're simply not giving anyone any reason to come here or to stay here.

Doing nothing at all just isn't an option or in the best interest of the citizens of the county anymore.

I'll be the first to admit I was pretty angry at the outcome of last week's commissioners' meeting. I still believe the voters are owed an explanation and a satisfactory outcome to their vote.

I also still believe democracy took a bad beating here in our county and I hope I am proven incorrect in my assessment last week that democracy is a sham here.

 

KWIBS - From August 3, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

It's an arrogance that you would normally see in some far away country without democracy.... and a short leader with crazy hair.

The majority and the will of Barber County voters was denied on Friday by three county commissioners who had their own agenda in mind when it came to the construction and funding of two hospitals in Barber County.

That agenda seems to be unclear. They project gloom and doom for Barber County with declining population and a national economy with no hope of recovery in site. They predict a national health care reform that will wreck funding for our local hospitals. They are sure they are acting in the best interest of the voters and taxpayers of this county, no matter how we voted.

Never mind that two separate hospital boards and steering committees spent more than two years planning out the needs of each of their respective community's needs for a hospital.

Never mind that these professionals know the business of providing health care and know the requirements to ensure code is met in their facilities.

Never mind the needs of each hospital facility or the needs of health care recipients of Barber County.

Never mind that interest rates are at an all time low.

Never mind that construction costs are at an all time low.

Never mind that a project like this could boost both Kiowa's and Medicine Lodge's economies for 18-24 months and attract more professionals to our communities.

Never mind that the vote in November of 2008 was won 52-48%.

Never mind that our hospitals, in good faith, followed the requests of the commissioners and the Public Building Commission and spent 10s of thousands of dollars getting a guaranteed maximum price from builders.

Never mind that the guaranteed maximum price came in slightly under budget with over runs built in for safety.

Never mind that a Public Building Commission recommended it to the Barber County Commissioners on a 5-2 vote.

People of Barber County, none of this mattered. None of you mattered.

Mr. Garten, Mr. Thomas and Mr. Harbaugh all told me that they do not support this project.

"All along, we as commissioners have had the final say so and individually and as a group, we have chosen not to proceed," stated Garten. "I personally was not willing to vote for two new hospitals in this size of county."

Never mind that a majority of tax payers were willing.

It's not up to them. It's up to three men, elected by a majority of voters.

There is no way to begin calculating the wasted money and man hours that have gone into this project to see it succeed for our hospitals and then ultimately to be shot down by three men.

But they didn't even get that satisfaction. No, there was no vote - simply silence. No record of their real intentions to be recorded in our minutes for all generations to see.

They say there was no agenda, that each of them looked at this with an open mind, but in the end, the evidence speaks clearly as to their intentions. I don't believe they ever expected our communities to pass this. I don't think they ever expected their appointed Public Building Commission to recommend it.

In the end their choices were to pass it, vote it down or simply do nothing.

They did nothing.

Friday, more than 100 people showed up to support the hospitals and many people including Dr. Meador and local Pharmacist John Hagood, spoke in support of the hospital and issuing of bonds, but in the end, Commissioner Mike Thomas motioned to adjourn. Commissioner Paul Harbaugh left abruptly. Commissioner Mike Thomas slipped out quietly and Commissioner Garten faced a crowd of angered and confused taxpayers, voters and hospital employees.

Garten said he would like to see the two communities come together and build one hospital. He already has gotten one of his wishes: The two communities have come together.

Democracy is a sham in Barber County.

 

KWIBS - From July 20, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I am a nerd.

I humbly embrace this now, and I'm happier for it.

It was only recently that I came out of the "nerd" closet. I've always had a deep affection for science, technology, a short love-affair in my youth for "Dungeons and Dragons". I have the eyeglasses for the nerd look too.

My fascination with the series "Star Trek" is my biggest nerd claim to fame. I've been a fan of the series since I was old enough to watch TV. Now I DVR every episode.

I can form a compelling argument on why TNG is better than DS9 (that's Star Trek for: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine for all you other "nerd" people).

Years ago, I dragged my wife and brother-in-law to Wichita to a Star Trek convention. It was awesome. Or at least I thought it was.

There were nerds everywhere and I could have been their king, except for the fact I was the only one not dressed as a Klingon or Vulcan (besides my wife and brother-in-law).

My son Joey is following close in my footsteps. He even wears a shirt that says "Dork" on it. He's not ashamed of his video game addiction, nerdy glasses or the often "pants are too short" moments he has had after a recent growth spurt. Joey's dream car is his 1974 AMC Gremlin. It's parked in the driveway waiting for its day of restoration.

And yes... I have a few Star Trek dolls. I also have the Bionic Man and the Bionic Women (who used to be my girlfriend back in the early 80s, but she didn't know it.) I still have some of my Star Wars characters too.

I love the SciFi Channel! There, I said it. That was very liberating for me.

Who cares if I am a nerd? So, what if I like science fiction movies and TV shows and still play with dolls? I contradict that by sucking at math and by being married and not living in my parents' basement.

I say all this because Seth Oldham was anxious to get away from work and to get out of town last Tuesday. The premiere of the new Harry Potter movie was happening at midnight in Wichita. He says he wasn't going in costume, but it still didn't stop me from pointing out that he too was a nerd.

Yes, Seth is a nerd, or in his case a "Dumbledork". It actually could be the reason that I like this kid.

Live long and prosper....

 

KWIBS - From July 13, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

 

Would the real Dr. Ruben Garcia please stand up?

Fill my eyes with that double vision

No disguise for that double vision

Ooh, when it gets through to me, it's always new to me

My double vision gets the best of me

This is the chorus line to a song written by Foreigner in 1978. I don't have any idea what it means, but I was singing it all day on Wednesday of last week.

The saying goes, "everyone has a twin somewhere in the world - an identical match." Very few ever meet their "double".

I was sure if I had a twin, it would be the "evil twin". Or maybe I was the evil twin. Who knows?

Several months ago, I ran into Dr. Ransom inside the fitness center. He said, "I met your twin brother today. He's going to be the new doctor at the hospital."

Later in the day, a call came from Kevin White, Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital Administrator. He called to tell me they were hiring a new doctor who had a striking resemblance to me.

That night, Dr. Pete Meador called to tell me that he met the new doctor and he looked just like me. It went on and on for days.

I didn't think there was any way this guy could look like me. First off, he was of Cuban descent. I don't look Cuban, do I?

Months passed and I seldom gave it another thought until, my phone rang on Tuesday. It was Jeff Clarke.

"Dude, I met the new doctor and you guys could be twins," he laughed.

It's an age-old belief with a strange appeal that somewhere on this planet, alive today, is someone who looks like you -- maybe not precisely, but close enough to be your double.

It can be fascinating to imagine. But not everyone is ready to encounter an unexpected twin.

As was the case on Wednesday morning. I was sitting in my office, catching up on work, when I heard footsteps approaching my office. I turned to see who it was and my jaw hit the floor.

"You must be Doctor Ruben Garcia," I laughed.

I thought I was looking into a mirror.

Ruben came in and sat down. It was like a strange family reunion from a separation at birth that probably never happened.

I say probably, but as our introduction went on for nearly two hours, I was wondering if interrogating my parents might be a prudent thing to do!

We decided to go to lunch at Subway. The fun had just begun. In the line, one of the girls making our sandwiches asked me, "Oh, Kevin, is this your brother?"

We both just laughed.

I asked Ruben what he liked to do for fun, what his hobbies were. He likes to SCUBA.... I have been into SCUBA for about 10 years now. This was just too freaky!

On our way out the door, I ran into a lady from Pratt I knew and she did a double take, asking us the same question, "Kevin, is this a family member you've never introduced me to?"

We left Subway and drove back to the office. I pulled behind in the alley and we talked for a few minutes.

Down the alley came my wife looking for a place to park. She saw we were in the vehicle and she pulled up - her mouth wide open....

She too had heard that the new doctor held some shared quality features with me, but she had no idea.

Ruben told me a story about him going in to Home Lumber earlier in the week. A customer in the store struck up a conversation with him. He thought it was odd because the customer was asking him personal questions about his daughter. He even asked if she was getting big! My daughter is pregnant. Ruben's daughter is 4 years old!

I can say in my 39 years of life on this planet, I've never sat across from someone and studied them as hard as I did Ruben on Wednesday. I think he did the same.

As we visited I wondered if looking like me would be a good thing or bad thing for Ruben. I think I definitely have the advantage here. Who wouldn't want to look like a doctor?

We shared a few laughs and took a few pictures that I immediately sent to family and friends. I have to admit, that Ruben is a handsome devil (if he were my evil twin of course).

I encourage everyone to welcome Ruben and his family to town and see for yourself how much we look alike!

Ruben begins his practice on Wednesday at The Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital.

You never know, it might be me giving you your next exam.....

 

KWIBS - From June 29, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Here's the biggest "boo-hoo" I've heard for quite some time.

Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols is asking for a court-appointed lawyer to help him with a lawsuit complaining about the food he gets in prison.

Nichols claims in his suit that the federal Supermax prison in Colorado is causing him to "sin against God" because he doesn't get enough whole grains and fresh food.

Nichols asked for the legal aid in a document addressed to a federal judge in Denver on Monday.

According to the Associated Press, Amy Padden of the U.S. Attorney's Office in Denver did not immediately respond to a call seeking comment Tuesday about the suit Nichols filed in March.

Nichols is serving life for conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 federal building bombing that killed 168 people. Timothy McVeigh was convicted of murder and executed.

You can only imagine how sorry I feel for Mr. Nichols and how I hope God forgives us for not giving him enough whole grains. The poor guy must be constipated something terrible.

? ? ? ?

Tuesday night, family and friends gathered to say thanks, share a story and honor Max and Gail Ferguson for their many years of friendship and service to our community. The Fergusons will be making their new home in Derby, KS.

As long as I can remember, Max and Gail have been a part of our community. As much as I hate to see them leave, I know they'll always be a part of our town.

Max was a young school teacher when I was in 7th grade. I believe he had been teaching there for about 7 years. John Nixon had him as a teacher his first year in Medicine Lodge back in the mid-70s. That really dates him!

Gail blossomed into one of the best preschool teachers of all times right around the time that my oldest child (Breeann) started school. Each one of my kids attended her preschool and each one of them remember her as one of their most favorite teachers growing up.

Medicine Lodge's loss will be Derby's gain. We'll miss you guys and we appreciate everything you've done for us, our children and our community. Good luck and God Bless!

 

KWIBS - From June 22, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

You might take note of the volume number change on the front page of this week's Premiere. We turned 18 years old today!.

We're old enough to vote!

I remember the very first issue of the Gyp Hill Premiere back in 1991. It had a story about Rick Pyle's bee hive inside his apartment window. It also had a story about Ronda and I starting the paper. We had our beginnings in the old Palmer Floral building on West Washington.

Back then it was just me and Ronda and my daughter Breeann. She was just 1 year old at the time. We had a couple of stringers to write for us. Now we have Joey and Nicholas. We're also expecting our first grandchild in December.

Time flies when you are having fun and we have had fun. In the 18 years since we've been in business, some familiar names have helped us over the years and been a part of our staff: Tate Henke, Cathy Bergner, Jim Emrick, Justin Howlett, David Fasgold, Deana Horn, Doris Sorg, Gimmy Jo (Maize) Rose, Seth Oldham, Casey Long, Deb Kolb, Deb VanRanken, Sharon Bishop, Jenny (Dafforn) Howard, Billy Eliot, Justin Fluke, Chris and Gabe Goering, BlackFoot Willie (cartoonist and illustrator), Joyce Noland (our typesetter and proofreader and mother....), Mandy (Walker) Brozek, Justin Jacobs, Ellis Mayfield (our driver), Rose Mary Shoemaker (fill in proofreader), Barb Keltner (fill in proofreader), Bev McCollom (who writes Meandering), Jason Offutt (who writes As I was saying...), Joe Klock (who writes Like Klockwork), Ellen Knowls Bisson (who writes Bygone Barber County Bylines), John Nixon (who gives us old photos to print from time to time).

There are numerous more columnists and guest columnists that have been a big part of our success over the years. It's about impossible to name them all, but you have our thanks.

Not everyone can say they have a rewarding job that they look forward to doing every day (and there are some days that I struggle). For the most part, this is a great job and it is rewarding to be a part of a great community. So happy birthday to us, happy birthday to us.... you know the rest of the song.

? ? ? ?

I was at the grocery store the other day and saw a can of Pringles and thought to myself, "Did the Pringles can come before or after the tennis ball can?"

Because it either went like this: "You can fit Tennis Balls in this Pringles can," or "You can fit potato chips inside this Tennis Ball can." It had to be one or the other.

According to the internet, Dr. Fredric J. Baur was so proud of having designed the container for Pringles... that he asked his family to bury him in one. His children honored his request. Part of his remains was buried in a Pringles can — along with a regular urn containing the rest... Dr. Baur, a retired organic chemist and food storage technician who specialized in research and development and quality control for Procter & Gamble, died May 4 at 89... He developed many products, including frying oils and a freeze-dried ice cream, for P&G... But the Pringles can was his proudest accomplishment, his daughter said. He received a patent for the package as well as the method of packaging Pringles in 1970.

? ? ? ?

Our band, Dorfus CrackTractor, successfully pulled off a reunion show at Mike's Sports Bar on Saturday, June 13, 2009. We "sold out" and "firemarshaled" the joint as one might say.

I can't thank Mike enough for hosting us and to all the people who came out to see us. It was a blast. We'll see you again in a couple of years.

David Fasgold was back in town for our show. We practiced a few songs the night before in the back of the newspaper office. I was surprised at how well we remembered the songs we used to play.

David roamed around the office looking at how things had changed, and how things hadn't changed. He walked into my office and said, "I see you are keeping things exactly as I left them two years ago," referring to my messy office.....

? ? ? ?

This week we say "farewell" or "Zai Jain" to our AFS student Frank (Wang Haiji) from China. We'll be taking a little trip down the Illinois River together this weekend as a send off. If all goes well for Frank, he'll get a student visa and be studying at Washburn University in Topeka in the fall of this year.

We'll miss you Frank.

 

KWIBS - From June 15, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Father's Day is coming up this Sunday and I was thinking about the joys and struggles associated with fatherhood.

"Father" is one of those titles that demands respect, but often gets much less. I remember that I was far from the perfect child growing up. I know I gave my father grief.

Now that I am a father (of 19 years now), I realize that you take the good with the bad and you try your best in every situation to, as the song goes, "teach your children well."

Most ot the time I probably come off sounding like I am nagging and ragging on my kids, but I my hope is that they will learn, not only from their mistakes, but mine as well.

Father's Day is a day to honor your dad. The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.

Having been raised by her father, William Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

In 1926, a National Father's Day Committee was formed in New York City. Father's Day was recognized by a Joint Resolution of Congress in 1956. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June. So Father's Day was born in memory and gratitude by a daughter who thought that her father and all good fathers should be honored with a special day just like we honor our mothers on Mother's Day.

Today nearly 100 years have elapsed since the first father's Day was celebrated. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.

Today, it's the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business. Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE."

With fatherhood comes the right of passage to use phrases like, "Shut the lights off. Do you pay the electricity bill around here?"

Here's some things you'll never hear your father say.

- Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

- You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

- I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

- Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

- What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

- Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

- Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

- No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

- Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend!

I hope all of you fathers have a special Father's Day!

 

KWIBS - From June 8, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I was thinking about the upcoming Father's Day weekend and what Father's Day meant to me. Surprisingly, I wasn't thinking about getting cards from my kids or a great gift. I was thinking about what an honor it is to be a father in this day and age. Many children in our country and in our own community grow up without a fatherly figure in their lives. Even though my parents were divorced when I was very young, I had both my mom and my dad close by.

My life is different now and my children's lives are much different that my own growing up. My wife and I are coming up on 21 years of marriage. I don't know that I have so much "blessed" my children by being their

parent as they are being my children. Father's Day is a great day to celebrate dads everywhere, but I feel my focus should be on my kids right now and I want to honor them with my column this week.

Starting with my oldest to my youngest and then including my son "Frank" who will be leaving us at the end of this month to return to his home in China:

My daughter Breeann is 19 years old and just finished her first year of college at Pratt Community College. She's studying to be an elementary school teacher. She's found out that life is not as easy as she had hoped for. School is tough and she recently learned that she is pregnant. Our family doesn't see this as a failure, but a blessing. We're excited to be welcoming a new member to our family and we're happy to welcome her boyfriend Devin Schafer to our family. He wants to be a good father and provider for her and we're all here to support them and encourage them in this time of change in their lives. Breeann and Devin have recently moved back to Medicine Lodge and we're happy to have them back in our community. Without trying to embarrass Devin, I would like to say he would love to find a job in our community and if you hear of anything, please let me know so I can pass it along to him. He currently commutes back and forth to Pratt.

I'm very blessed to have two sons to carry on my family name.

For the past few days last week, Joey has been working very hard at getting his certification to become a lifeguard at the pool. He and several other kids have been driving to Alva for three days straight to literally swim until they puke, as one student did. Joey learned how hard and what an awesome responsibility it is to be American Red Cross Certified in life saving as a life guard and I am so proud of him. Joey is 16 now. He is really growing into a fine young man. He had a great school year and made good grades and we are hoping he carries this attitude to his junior and senior years at MLHS. Joey has a good work ethic. He's a kind young man who tries to make friends wherever he goes. Joey recently went to Mexico with a group of kids and adults from the Methodist Church and helped build a home for a pastor and his family.

Nicholas is also turning into a little man. Even though he is only 11, Nick has been helping me in the yard by carrying bricks and doing some landscaping. Nick is growing faster than anyone in our family, shooting up a few inches in a short period of time and outgrowing many pairs of pants in the past few months! I'm loving his sense of humor. When not sarcastic, Nicholas is a sharp witted character who never misses an opportunity to make a good joke. Nicholas is very creative and passionate about his interests and he's growing up to be a fine young man with many good friends.

Finally, one of the biggest changes I have seen in one of my children this year, comes from an unlikely candidate. He's not even my real son, but I accept him as such this year as he has become a part of our family. Wang Haiji, "Frank" as we call him, is winding down his stay with us and will be leaving for China in a few weeks. When Frank first got here, he was a bit bashful and reserved. Frank comes from a family of no brothers and sisters and to be thrust into our family with all of its quirks and drama is quite a change from his normal family structure. He has learned to adapt this year and I think he has learned to enjoy brothers and sisters. I know our family will be forever changed by our experience with Frank. I can say with all honesty that from the first time he called me "Dad", I have seen so much change in him. I'm also proud to call him son and I am praying that our family has influenced him in a good way and that Frank will take many of the values and the faith we hold dear back to China with him. We also hope that he'll be returning on a student visa in the fall to go to school at Washburn University.

My family wouldn't be complete or even possible if it weren't for the love of my wife Ronda and the kids' mother. It takes a partnership to raise children and she has been an equal partner with me over the years. We've not always agreed on our parenting style, but we've always agreed that we love our kids and we're proud of them.

These people mentioned above make Father's Day what it is for me. Their gift of life and sharing that gift with me and each other is the greatest gift I could ever ask for.

Finally, the greatest example of a Father's love for his children would have to come from scripture. John 3:16 reads: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."

? ? ? ?

My mom underwent a knee replacement surgery this past week in Wichita. She's doing very well, despite some pain. The day after her surgery my daughter Breeann and I went up to see her in the hospital. When we got there, I was surprised to see her up and going for a walk! Mom is our proofreader and typsetter here at the paper. I'm hoping we did a good job in catching mistakes this week in her absence! Get well soon mom and get yourself back to work!

? ? ? ?

It's been nearly 2 years ago since Dorfus CrackTractor played together and they are getting together for a reunion show here in Medicine Lodge this weekend. For those that remember, Dorfus CrackTractor is a band made up of myself, my former Editor David Fasgold and local Deputy Sheriff Justin Rugg. Our band played events, clubs and venues in the area for about 4 years before taking a break in July of 2007. Back then, gas was inching up over $4 a gallon and David had moved to Oklahoma City, making it hard for us to make enough money even to pay our gas to get to shows in Wichita.

Gas is slightly cheaper now and we've always said we needed to get together and do a show before we forgot all of our material. David called me a few weeks ago and said, "I miss you goofs. Let's play a show together."

I called up Mike Lynch from Mike's Sports Bar and we set it up for this coming Saturday, June 13.

If you never caught a show, Dorfus was full of whacky costume changes, part comedy act with parodies of songs and we played a wide variety of music from rock, swing, country, disco and even rap.

So, we're keeping our fingers crossed that we still have a few fans that will come out and dance on Saturday and welcome David Fasgold back into our community for this one night only event. We're throwing this together with a short rehearsal the Friday night before, but we expect to have a few minor train wrecks! So, make plans on Saturday to come out see us at Mike's!! Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 1, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

If you're like me, you've seen the above sign in windows of storefronts for the past few years. Originally, they were designed for restricted areas like courthouses, government offices, schools and lending institutions.

Kansas law prohibits a licensed concealed carry person from entering a property with such signs appropriately displayed.

Several months ago, I completed my conceal carry certification course and obtained my license. In my second line of work (surety agent and bail enforcement), I have decided it is necessary to carry concealed.

Almost three years after the start of a state law allowing people to carry concealed weapons, signs banning guns from privately owned businesses have popped up all over the Kansas area.

Although some stores have posted signs and added "no weapons" clauses to their posted codes of conduct, many small businesses haven't seen the need.

Under the law, concealed handguns are banned from some businesses, including bars and financial institutions. Anyone who has taken a concealed carry course knows where they are allowed to carry their weapon and where they aren't. Businesses and employers can ban concealed weapons from their property by posting a sign that guns are not allowed.

After the class I became more aware of how many of these signs are out there. Certain hotels, coffee shops, office product stores, gas stations and even hair dressers were displaying these signs.

Each time I see the sign a puzzling thought enters my head. Why have these places chosen to prohibit law abiding citizens from carrying a weapon? Why wouldn't they want the protection of law abiding citizens in their store?

Take for example a situation that occurred in Topeka, KS (from KTKA.com: Concealed carry permit holder shoots suspect Story by Jesse Fray. 6:40 p.m. Monday, January 22, 2007.)

An Oklahoma concealed-carry permit holder thwarted a robbery at a Topeka convenience store Friday night, police said.

Police said 57-year-old Michael Mah shot a 17-year-old suspect who was trying to rob the Phillips 66 at 29th and Randolph, after telling him to drop his weapon. The owner of the store, Dean Yee, told police two men ran inside, when one of them pointed a gun at him and demanded money. Concealed weapons advocates said Mah did the right thing.

"The bad guys … better be careful who they pick on," said Troy Powell, a retired cop who recently moved here from Texas.

Powell said the shooting is exactly what concealed-carry is intended for.

"The guy was right there on scene and had firsthand knowledge that it was happening," said Powell. "I think he reacted appropriately and probably he could’ve saved that guy’s life and his own."

Police said Mah shot the man just once.

"I don’t think any of these people that carry-concealed are wanting to do someone in, they’re just wanting to stop the guy, to keep him from hurting … someone else," Powell said.

Mah had a concealed carry permit from Oklahoma, one of 22 states from which permit holders can also carry a weapon in Kansas, police said.

"This incident, it supports that they’re right," he said. "Concealed carry is a privilege that citizens should have."

End of story...

Sadly, I think many people are uninformed about concealed carry and display the signs without understanding the cons of doing so.

This is a subject that brings out a lot of emotion from people who are for or against gun control / gun rights.

Folks, the people you need to be afraid of aren't the ones that have licenses for their guns or to carry concealed. Criminals aren't paying attention to your signs. In fact, that might just encourage someone who wants to rob you or do you wrong. They see that you don't allow guns on your premises and this emboldens them and possibly makes you an easier target.

It's not like a robber is going to look at the sign and say, "Oh, I'm not going to rob the place. I can't take my gun in there."

There are other ramifcations to this type of signage. Many gun owners and concealed carry people are paying more attention to where they do business.

I was in Wichita last week working on recovering a defendent who skipped court and left the jurisdiction of his arrest. He was caught and returned to the Kingman jail. I was "packing" that day, as I jokingly say. I was thirsty and decided to stop at a convenience store on my way home. I arrived at the door to find a "no conceal" sign on the front door. I turned around to go back to my truck to remove my gun and thought for a moment.

Instead of taking off my gun, I drove down the road and found another convenience store. This one didn't have a sign and got my business. I even spent a little more out of appreciation. They didn't have any idea that I had a weapon, nor did they seem to care.

On a practical side, it's hard to enforce such a ban. How would business owners even know if a customer has a weapon? I am going to abide by the law, however, and I am going to chose carefully where I do my business.

I'm expected to wear shoes and a shirt when I go into a business. Who cares what I have underneath it?

It's one thing to post a no smoking sign. That's benefiting the health of those around that don't smoke and I can respect that, but think about the situation in that story of the convenience store in Topeka. A no concealed sign could have made the difference between life and death.

Perhaps, if you agree with me, you would consider posting the sign below at your business.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 26, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Feel free to correct me if I am wrong, but I believe it is the first time in our school's history that both the boys' baseball team and girls' softball team have won regionals and gone to state, together, in the same year!

I want to congratulate all the players and coaching staff for a GREAT season!

As they get ready for state on Friday and Saturday, let'ss send them off with our congratulations and best wishes in winning state!

GO MEDICINE LODGE INDIANS!

? ? ? ?

While on the subject of softball and baseball, I would like to thank the coaches and parents for helping our newspaper to cover the games. I've been so grateful for all of the articles and photos that have been submitted.

? ? ? ?

We've talked about doing it for the past two years - a Dorfus CrackTractor reunion show.

Justin Rugg, David Fasgold and I have missed hanging out and playing music. We played together in Dorfus CrackTractor for several years before calling it quits in August of 2007. Now, two years later, we're going to get together and play a one night show at Mike's Sports Bar on Saturday, June 13, 2009.

The band had some modest success, playing several venues in South Central Kansas and became a regular house band at places like Mike's Sports Bar, The Port of Wichita and River City Brewery / Loft 150. Dorfus was even selected to play for the grand opening of The Guitar Center in Wichita in July of 2006.

David Fasgold was the editor here at The Gyp Hill Premiere for almost three years. During the week, we'd hammer out stories and newspapers together and on the weekends we'd play music and write silly songs. Justin joined us in 2005 and we became a silly "old-guy" band doing everything from country waltzes to gangster rap, all in effort to get a laugh.

We had some really good times together and I was more than excited when David called me last week to ask about doing a show after such a long hiatus.

I called Justin and we started dusting off equipment and thumbing through more than 100 songs that were in our former set list. We've decided to do the show, without practicing - just winging it!

Over the years together, David, Justin and I did around 70 shows. I was surprised when I picked up my guitar and successfully remembered all but 3 songs in our set from our last show in Wichita on June 29-30 at The Loft 150.

I hope it's like riding a bicycle!

 

KWIBS - From May 18, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I ran short of time and space this week, but wanted to congratulate Frank and the rest of the class of 2009 at Medicine Lodge High School for their graduation!

One of those graduates will be writing some stories for us this summer! Seth Oldham is a gifted young man who has worked hard to finish school at the semester's end in 2008. He returned this week to graduate with his class after attending college in Wichita. We're excited to have him home for the summer.

Yes, I am a nerd.... I went to see the new Star Trek movie... twice in one week. Can't wait until it comes to the drive-in!

KWIBS - From May 11, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I spent quite a bit of time going back and forth to the High School this past week in preparation for the graduation section.

The class of 2009 will graduate on May 16 at Krug Field.

This year we'll be at graduation to honor our AFS student Wang Haiji, or Frank, as you have come to know him.

It's now been 21 years since I graduated from MLHS, 22 years since my wife graduated from MLHS and only 1 year since my daughter, Breeann, graduated from MLHS. In two years, it will be my son Joey taking the stage.

As I was preparing the senior's section, I looked at all the kids from my daughter's class and glanced over their "future plans" comments. I mentally noted that quite a few of the kids in her class had changed their majors, schools and lives.

One of those kids whose lives will be changing forever is our daughter Breeann. She's one year into her elementary school education major and she told her mother and me last week that we will be grandparents..... Yep. It's not exactly what we had planned for her, but it was her decision and we'll support her.

One piece of good advice that I did get from a very dear friend was this. "When your child is in trouble, shut your mouth and open your arms." - Thank you Michele McCurdy.

When I found out the news, I can't say that I was following this advice very closely, but over the past few days I have calmed down, spent a lot of time in prayer and accepted that, it is what it is, and it can't be changed. Being angry will not help my daughter's circumstances. I love her no matter what.

Her situation reminded me of a story about another couple. Twenty-one years ago a kid graduated from MLHS, got married and had a little girl a year later. His wife had only been out of school for one year longer. Those kids were Kevin and Ronda Noland, Breeann's parents. They didn't turn out too bad....

That may not have been the plans that my parents had for me, but they were my choices. Looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing and I know that Breeann won't want to change a thing either.

Fifty-seven seniors shared their future plans for us this week in the special section included inside this newspaper. Some of those plans will change, but all of them deserve our support and prayers for their future.

Congratulations to all of the class of 2009. We're proud of you and wish you best in the future.

Have a great week !

KWIBS - From May 4, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Sorry for being short this week. I was both short on time and space.

I wanted to make a comment on Rose Mary Shoemaker's reception. With much help from the community, her sons put on a great day for her on Saturday, April 25, 2008. She's moved to Texas to be closer to her boys.

Rose Mary is like an adopted grandmother to me. I grew up at the Index, where she worked for my Grandpa Bill, my Uncle Gary and my Dad Ron. She was smart enough to retire before I asked her to work for me!

She has filled in many times for us as a proofreader. So technically, she worked for three generations of my family.

I learned the pain that a pica pole can inflict on a rear end one occasion after persistent pestering. "Rosie" was given the green light to punish me for acting up in the office when I was about 8-years-old. It took one swat for me to yield to her and respect her.

She's done so much good for this community and I am so thankful that so many people came out to share their love and appreciation for her. Good luck. Rose Mary. We'll miss you. There will always be a chair for you in the front office.

KWIBS - From April 27, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

My column this week is congratulatory in nature and maybe a little preachy. I apologize in advance.

Writing the story about Mark Buck (page one) was probably the most fun I've ever had at writing about someone in our community.

I was witness to history for the "Trim-N-Blow". Back in 2000 (seems like way back, now that I think about it), Mark brought in his contraption and I built him a website and did some video work to start the promotion process of his invention.

We were behind our building on Main Street and Mark was demonstrating his invention when he happened to barely touch the pavement. It exploded into pieces and narrowly missed both of us.

When the dust settled and we realized we weren't hurt, we both laughed and I told him that he should rename the product, "The Trim and Blow Up."

I've lost the video, but I'll never forget that.

Mark kept preserving through designs and failures, but never gave up on the idea.

I had actually not forgotten his project, but sort of filed it in the back of my brain somewhere and when he called me last week to tell me that a company was manufacturing his design, I almost couldn't believe it.

In the article, I briefly touched on something Mark said about relationships. To paraphrase at one point he said, "It [being his success] came down to relationships with people."

Mark and I visited about that subject and concluded our interview. Later that night I was pondering the subject of relationships and visiting with my wife about the day.

We are going through The Purpose Driven Life together. It's our third time and I am also doing this study with a friend, Dale McCurdy, who lives in Amarillo, TX. We call or email each day with comments on the day's chapter.

If you've never read the book, it's a good read and a good 40 day study that can be read over and over.

That night we opened our book to Day 16. It is titled "What Matters Most". It deals specifically about relationships.

Rick Warren, Author of The Purpose Driven Life writes in Chapter 16, "Often we act as if relationships are something to be squeezed into our schedule. We talk about finding time for our children or making time for people in our lives. That gives the impression that relationships are just a part of our lives along with many other tasks. But God says relationships are what life is all about."

I hope I did the story justice. It's difficult to describe what an accomplishment this is for Mark and his family. It's a project he has spent more than a decade on seeing to reality and his relationship with people and with God are what helped him find success.

Like he said, he may not get rich, but he can say, "Hey, that's my design!"

I can't begin to describe how difficult this task has been and all of the ups and downs that he and Tina and the boys have probably felt through this process.

Warren also says in his book in this chapter, "... the best way to spell love is "T-I-M-E."

Mark used his dream and this process to spend quality time with his family. They've all shared in this process, including their trip to Sacramento, CA to visit the company that is manufacturing and marketing his invention.

Often we go through life blindly without a purpose. Sometimes we don't appear to have any goals other than to get through another day.

Looking back in my own life, I have had several good ideas that I just never saw through to completion. Sometimes I just lost interest or decided the process was too dificult, so I gave up.

Having a dream or an idea that you see to completion is a great goal to have in life. When you can maintain your focus on a task that seems so unlikely, like Mark has done, and have purpose at the same time, you can accomplish greatness. I think it's cool that he made relationships so important in that process.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 20, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

If you don't like what's happen to our school district, there are two things that you can do to solve the problem.

The most important is come up with a way to bring more children into our district. The other is to tell Topeka not to cut funding for education.

Neither solution seems possible right now.

USD#254 has seen a steady decrease in enrollment for several years. Compounded, is the recent cuts made by the State of Kansas.

We're not alone in our troubles. Districts like South Barber, Attica, Chapparal, Coldwater and Haviland are also taking steps in preparation for harder times.

It's now come down to a reduction in force. The most recent and visible cut will be to the health program at our schools. The district cut the school nurse program last week, in another effort to reduce expenses. It's all part of preparing for more declining numbers and less revenue provided by the state.

I want to say a few words about Susan Raleigh and how much my family appreciates what she's done for our children. Most recently, she diagnosed a simple problem with our son that undiagnosed, could have lead to him becoming very sick. She has been the first line of defense in health care of our children for more than 20 years. There will be many low income families in our district that have children who will no longer have this access to health care in our community.

I don't like what's happening to our school district any more than you do. However, before gathering your pitchforks and lynching materials for our school board and superintendent, please try to understand our current financial situation.

Not one of the board members wants to see any additional cuts. Believe it or not, our superintendent does not want to continue down a path of cutting personnel either. There just are few places to cut that won't affect education.

We've done our best at the newspaper to inform the public of the crisis that has somewhat enveloped our school district.

Understand, it could be much worse. Our board of education and our superintendent, past and present, have been very aggressive in dealing with the problem.

The problem is easy math. Less kids = less money. The state isn't helping by cutting education funding. If you don't like it, call Topeka or start making babies. Who knows, maybe last month's snow storm will yield a large class of Kindergartners in the year 2015. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 13, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Apparently, surgery to repair your meniscus is a simple procedure, unless you are a big baby like me.

I had some surgery on my left knee on Tuesday in Wichita and was thinking I would be back to work on Wednesday. Well, I went in for a little while Wednesday afternoon, felt my knee swell up like a balloon and then decided to go back home and rest.

Today (if you are reading Monday) I go back to Wichita to have my bandages removed.

After a couple of weeks of physical therapy and a few more weeks of healing, I should be as good as a guy with a 39-year-old knee that stepped off a ladder one step too soon, who had knee surgery. So ask me how I feel in about a month!

I do want to apologize in advance for anything we missed this week. There were a couple of ball games and a track meet that I just didn't have anyone to cover.

Bless her heart.... Ronda has taken good care of me this week and Doris manned the fort, as always, but to an extra degree without us being here. I appreciate all of you helping me out this week.

This was kind of interesting....

I had been visiting with Randy Hall a week ago last Sunday and he had mentioned he was having his knee replaced. When I asked him when he was having surgery he said, "Tuesday."

"I'm having knee surgery that day too," I answered.

When I asked him where he said, "The Kansas Surgical Center in Wichita."

"Me too," I answered.

It turns out he was checking in to the hospital as I was checking out. I didn't get to see him, but I heard he was recovering and was hoping to be home by Saturday.

I hope you are healing up Randy.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 6, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Linda Hartley sent me a note this week and asked if I would print this in the paper.

I think it is something that everyone should read and it makes me proud to know that my daughter has nearly completed her first year of college, majoring in Elementary Education.
Have a great week!

Dear Kevin and Staff,

You know, Teacher Day USA is coming up the first week in May. Can this writing possibly make a difference in our community?

With all the controversy of school closings, 4 day school weeks, staff reduction, budget cuts all over the map, let us not forget the mainstay of education.

I think this assistant principal hit the target. Over 95% of the "good things that happen at school" never get shared.This is mostly due to the discretion of the teachers and staff members who don’t want to be recognized. They just want to feel good for the students and classes they have helped through a tough time, a crisis, a loss.

No one knows just how much time, money and love are spent for the students in OUR school system!

The old adage "If you can read this, thank a teacher" gets smiles and nods….but does it really get said?

Here’s hoping it does…and frequently.

I’d love for you to publish this in the GH Premiere. I know it is lengthy, but it is just the crust of all Real Life Heroes!

Thanks,

Linda Hartley

Real Life Heroes

Teachers as Heroes

An essay written by an assistant principal in Ohio.

By J. Bradley:

"Where are the heroes of today?" a radio talk show host thundered.

He blames society's shortcomings on education. Too many people are looking for heroes in all the wrong places. Movie stars and rock musicians, athletes, and models aren't heroes; they're celebrities.

Heroes abound in public schools, a fact that doesn't make the news.

There is no precedent for the level of violence, drugs, broken homes, child abuse, and crime in today's America. Education didn't create these problems but deals with them every day.

You want heroes?

Consider Dave Sanders, the schoolteacher shot to death while trying to shield his students from two youths on a shooting rampage at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Sanders gave his life, along with 12 students, and other less heralded heroes survived the Colorado blood bath.

You want heroes?

Jane Smith, a Fayetteville, NC teacher, was moved by the plight of one of her students, a boy dying for want of a kidney transplant. So this woman told the family of a 14-year-old boy that she would give him one of her kidneys. And she did. When they appeared together hugging on the Today Show, Katie Couric was near tears.

You want heroes?

Doris Dillon dreamed all her life of being a teacher. She not only made it, she was one of those wondrous teachers who could bring the best out of every single child. One of her fellow teachers in San Jose, Calif., said, "She could teach a rock to read."

Suddenly she was stricken with Lou Gehrig's Disease which is always fatal, usually within five years. She asked to stay on job ... and did.

When her voice was affected, she communicated by computer.

Did she go home? Absolutely not! She is running two elementary school libraries! When the disease was diagnosed, she wrote the staff and all the families that she had one last lesson to teach .... that dying is part of living. Her colleagues named her Teacher of the Year.

You want heroes?

Bob House, a teacher in Georgia, tried out for "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?". After he won the million dollars, a network film crew wanted to follow up to see how it had impacted his life. New cars? Big new house?

Instead, they found both Bob House and his wife still teaching. They explained that it was what they had always wanted to do with their lives and that would not change. The community was both stunned and grateful.

You want heroes?

Last year the average school teacher spent $468 of their own money for student necessities ... workbooks, pencils .. supplies kids had to have but could not afford. That's a lot of money from the pockets of the most poorly paid teachers in the industrial world.

Schools don't teach values? The critics are dead wrong.

Public education provides more Sunday School teachers than any other profession.

The average teacher works more hours in nine months than the average 40-hour employee does in a year.

You want heroes?

For millions of kids, the hug they get from a teacher is the only hug they will get that day because the nation is living through the worst parenting in history.

An Argyle, Texas kindergarten teacher hugs her little 5 and 6 year-olds so much that both the boys and the girls run up and hug her when they see her in the hall, at the football games, or in the malls years later.

A Michigan principal moved me to tears with the story of her attempt to rescue a badly abused little boy who doted on a stuffed animal on her desk .. one that said "I love you!" He said he'd never been told that at home. This is a constant in today's society .. two million unwanted, unloved, abused children in the public schools, the only institution that takes them all in.

You want heroes?

Visit any special education class and watch the miracle of personal interaction, a job so difficult that fellow teachers are awed by the dedication they witness. There is a sentence from an unnamed source which says: "We have been so eager to give our children what we didn't have that we have neglected to give them what we did have."

What is it that our kids really need?

What do they really want?

Math, science, history, and social studies are important, but children need love, confidence, encouragement, someone to talk to, someone to listen, standards to live by. Teachers provide upright examples, the faith and assurance of responsible people.

You want heroes?

Then go down to your local school and see our real live heroes - the ones changing lives for the better each and every day!

"Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression." -Haim Ginott

 

KWIBS - From March 30, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Years ago, an email floated around the internet about an idea that recipients of government welfare programs should be subject to drug testing, like many employers already require.

I always thought this was a good idea. Why should my tax dollars go towards supplying someone's drug habit?

This thought and email are closer to law now than one might think.

On Wednesday, the Kansas House of Representatives approved a measure mandating drug testing for the 14,000 or so people getting cash assistance from the state, which now goes before the state senate. In February, the Oklahoma Senate unanimously passed a measure that would require drug testing as a condition of receiving TANF benefits, and similar bills have been introduced in Missouri and Hawaii. A Florida senator has proposed a bill linking unemployment compensation to drug testing, and a member of Minnesota's House of Representatives has a bill requiring drug tests of people who get public assistance under a state program there.

Lawmakers in at least eight other states want recipients of food stamps, unemployment benefits or welfare to submit to random drug testing.

The effort comes as more Americans turn to these safety nets to ride out the recession. Poverty and civil liberties advocates fear the strategy could backfire, discouraging some people from seeking financial aid and making already desperate situations worse.

Those in favor of the drug tests say they are motivated out of a concern for their constituents' health and ability to put themselves on more solid financial footing once the economy rebounds. But proponents concede they also want to send a message: you don't get something for nothing.

Interestingly enough drug testing is not the only restriction envisioned for people receiving public assistance: a bill in the Tennessee Legislature would cap lottery winnings for recipients at $600.

I'm not sure how I feel about that. Perhaps the legislature should consider a reimbursement situation for those winning $50,000 or more. Luck is an entitlement that should not necessarily be restricted by the government, but I like the idea of, if you get government assistance and then come into some serious cash, maybe you should consider paying the tax payers back before you run out and buy yourself a bunch of useless material items.

There seems to be no coordinated move around the country to push these bills, and similar proposals have arisen periodically since federal welfare reform in the 1990s. But the appearance of a cluster of such proposals in the midst of the recession shows lawmakers are newly interested in who is getting public assistance and how they are using it.

It's a fact, these proposals are coming at a time when more Americans find themselves in need of public assistance.

Although the number of TANF recipients has stayed relatively stable at 3.8 million in the last year, claims for unemployment benefits and food stamps have soared.

In December, more than 31.7 million Americans were receiving food stamp benefits, compared with 27.5 million the year before.

The link between public assistance and drug testing stems from the Congressional overhaul of welfare in the 1990s, which allowed states to implement drug testing as a condition of receiving help.

But a federal court struck down a Michigan law that would have allowed for "random, suspicionless" testing, saying it violated the 4th Amendment's protections against unreasonable search and seizure.

At least six states: Indiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, New Jersey, Wisconsin and Virginia all tie eligibility for some public assistance to drug testing for convicted felons or parolees, according to the NCSL.

If your employer can require drug testing, why can't you as a taxpayer ask for the same treatment for people using your hard earned tax dollars for their source of income?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 23, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I was sad that the Memories of the Medicine Lodge Middle School series had ended last week.

It had just so happened that while discussing it in our office, I came across another memory that had missed the paper. This one came from Fern Heublein. I was so glad she wrote her memories and shared them with us.

Fern's story is on page 10 of this week's Premiere. It will take you back to a simpler time when we actually prayed in school. In fact, they had chapel!

I remember each morning when I was in grade school we would say the Pledge of Allegiance and then we'd have a moment of prayer. I also remembered when prayer turned to a moment of silence and then that moment was silenced all together.

Fern shares her experiences with us from a completely new perspective and one of the most historical looks back at our early school system. Thank you Fern.

Also, thank you to everyone who took a moment to share a memory about the Middle School. The response was beyond my wildest dreams. I expected the series to last 3 weeks at the most. It ended up being enough material to last 10, but we squeezed it into 5 issues.

? ? ? ?

Well, it was certainly a busy weekend in Medicine Lodge. If you timed it just right, you didn't have to pay for food all day on Saturday! Bob and Dorothy Stutler held their grand opening of The Gun Room At The Grand and served food. Later, Mike's Sports Bar celebrated their annual anniversary with free hamburgers. There's no excuse if you went hungry.

Sunday afternoon's reunion and celebration at the Middle School was a success. It was great to see some former teachers and hear some great stories from people who "made a difference" in many peoples' lives, including yours truly.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 16, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

As this paper hits the streets, a missions team, made up from folks from Medicine Lodge, are in Desemboque, Mexico.

My oldest son, Joey, is with them.

The team is building a home for a pastor and his family during their spring break while many other students are spending time at ski resorts and amusement parks. I don't think there is anything wrong with that either! I love amusement parks and I understand the tradition of skiing over spring break!

I just wanted to commend these young men and women and the adults that were willing to dedicate their spring breaks to helping others less fortunate than themselves.

I love Mexico and was excited when Joey told me he wanted to go with The United Methodist Church group. I've always loved Mexico. Ronda and I have made many trips to each of the coasts of Mexico as well as the Yukatan and Baja Peninsulas. I even took my daughter to the island of Cozumel after her 8th grade graduation. Most of the people I met from there seemed to be the happiest people on the planet despite not having the luxary that we have in America. This is going to be a great opportunity for our kids to see how good we have it in America.

Mexico hasn't exactly been getting good press lately. Many of the border and resort towns are listed as being "no travel" destinations. Gang related violence has spiked in some areas making them dangerous to visit. Desemboque is not one of those places, however, your prayers for the people on this missions trip would be appreciated.

I'm excited to hear about their trip when they return to Medicine Lodge.

? ? ? ?

Be sure to mark your calendars for this coming weekend. On Saturday, March 21 from 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Bob and Dorothy Stutler will have their grand opening of The Gun Room at The Grand. Here's your opportunity to see the fantastic work they've done, buy yourself a pistol or a rifle, take in some free food and register for some FREE prizes! They're giving a Ruger 10/22 away at the end of the day, so be sure to go out and support Medicine Lodge's newest business!! Check out their ad on page 3 this week.

Also on Sunday, March 22 from 2-4 p.m., the Medicine Lodge Middle School will hold their reunion for past and present staff. Be sure to go by and say hi to an old acquaintance or a former teacher.

Congratulations to the Medicine Lodge Indians and Coach Ferguson for a great season! You made Medicine Lodge proud!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 9, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

It was a busy week and there wasn't much room for me, so I want to take a moment to thank BP Wind Energy and all of the folks at the Flat Ridge Wind Farm for the invite to their Celebration Ceremony on Thursday. Ronda, Doris and I went out and listened to the dedication.

I wanted to commend our local Barber County Economic Development group and the County Commissioners for all of their efforts in seeing that Barber County be a leader in renewable energy for years to come.

The speeches were all great. I especially enjoyed Commissioner Mike Thomas' comments on being able to "now see" that ridge from all over the county. I too have been impressed with how far away you can see the wind farm. I never really noticed it until after all of the wind turbine lights went online a couple of months ago. Now I can see them from my driveway 5 miles away.

Congratulations to the Medicine Lodge Indians on winning Sub-State and good luck to you guys at the State Tournament this week!

One last quick announcement. The Gyp Hill Premiere will now be available at Kiowa Prescription Plus in Kiowa, Kansas. Stop in and see John and buy a paper!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 2, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Every small town should be as fortunate to have a Bob and Dorothy Stutler move in to their town.

The Gun Room at The Grand will have her "soft" opening later this week after film crews from The Outdoor Channel finish up their feature. I've had several opportunities to sneak peeks at the progress that Bob is making on his project.

To say that it is spectacular is putting it mildly. Most big cities don't have anything to top what Bob and Dorothy have done with The Grand Hotel.

Even if you are not a gun nut, like me, you'll need to make it a point to visit The Gun Room at The Grand and let "The Major" show you around. I wish Bob and Dorothy the best in opening their new store and thank them again for choosing Medicine Lodge as the home of the finest gun room in the midwest!

? ? ? ?

Medicine Lodge got beat out by Pratt.... again.

After months of construction on the Flat Ridge Wind Farm, BP has set up their offices in Pratt to further gain lease agreements for their project. Barber County Economic Development Director Tina A. Davis told me last week, they did pitch Medicine Lodge to them, but the company wanted to be closer to highways, airport, stores and restaurants.....

Wind Energy and the construction of the transmission line to serve the wind farms will be an economic boost to our area in the coming years. We need to be very aware that Pratt is also interested in this.

Our local economic group is very involved with the transmission project and is hoping Barber County will be the place where they place the sub-station. You might have seen recent ads in our newspaper from ITC or ads from Westar soliciting the KCC for the project. It is proposed on many maps that the line will run right across Barber County.

We can't afford to miss out on these opportunities. Larger communities, such as Pratt, seem to be more appealing because they are progressive, rather than regressive.

? ? ? ?

Our Medicine Lodge Middle School Memories series has gotten bigger than I know what to do with it. I have more than a dozen memories, some quite long, of past students and faculty members of the building to share with my readers. Unfortunately, I may run out of time and space before the reunion happens on March 22nd. The Sunday afternoon celebration will be held from 2-4 p.m. at the Middle School in honor of all of those who have worked there over the years.

I have about 2 weeks left to print the memories before the event happens and I'm just not going to have enough room in the paper. I am considering running some of the remaining memories on our newspaper's website. I've also considered continuing the series out until the end of the school year. I'm interested in reader input on this subject. I had no idea that it would be as popular as it has been. It sure has been fun reading your comments.

I had one memory shared in a "for your eyes only" form from a former student of the building. Apparently, he had nearly burned the building down in a prank (gone bad) and was suspended for the event. It made quite an impression on him. Some of you know who I am writing about!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 23, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

The story I wrote about Mark and Marilyn Boyter's headstone got me thinking about how important it is to clearly communicate.

The entire frustration of the Boyters and the cemetery board seems to me to be a complete lack of communication. It wasn't that neither party communicated, but simple factors interfered with the communication. Marilyn didn't receive the correspondence from the board, their attorney or even her's for that matter.

In my fact finding I discovered that the Highland Cemetery Board had claimed they sent Boyter a number of letters directly and through her attorney that she never received, adding to her frustration about the situation.

Unfortunate is putting it mildly. Mistakes are just made.

I got a chance to sit down with Carol Ritter, Sexton at Highland Cemetery. I believe she feels very badly about the incident and wants to do everything humanly possible to resolve the situation.

I believe it was the best example of an "honest" mistake that one can make.

I tried to encourage her by reminding her that we all make mistakes. I even pointed out that the evidence can be found every Monday by reading my newspaper!

Unfortunately, now attorneys are involved and peoples' feelings are hurt. I only hope that it all works out.

Remembering and knowing Mark Boyter, I can say if he could look down on this situation, he'd be shaking his head in disbelief.

Back to communication....

My hopes are that the board of county commissioners and the hospital boards of Kiowa District and Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital can clearly communicate with each other over the coming weeks and months.

Constituents who voted for the construction of these hospitals also need to communicate. It's very easy to get emotional about the situation, but emotions won't bring solutions. Calm and rational thinking will be the beginning of cooperation.

I think back to just over a year ago when I first heard the idea of the two hospital districts in our county working together to pass a bond issue and I thought, "Not in a million years."

I was so wrong. The idea of working together brought a majority of voters to the decision that building these hospitals was the right thing to do. Now it is up to our commissioners to follow through with the will of the people.

Like I mentioned, their job isn't an easy one and I know they want to do the responsible thing in our current economic climate.

It's going to take cooperation and good communication on the part of the hospitals' boards, constituents and the county commissioners.

? ? ? ?

This week, my youngest celebrates his 11th birthday! Nicholas's birthday is on Wednesday and I wish him the happiest birthday ever!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From February 16, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I'm not sure why some things strike me as funny, but I had to share this story with you.

Ronda and I were in Subway last week. We noticed there was a group in the banquet room. Being the nosey-news-man that I am, I wondered what was going on in there.

We took our seat and watched several people going in and out and finally Dale Lonker came out and walked over to our table.

I asked him what was going on the meeting room and he told me that it was a "waterboard" meeting.

The first thing out of my mouth was, "Wow, you guys are torturing someone in there? Do we have like a group of terrorists being held and you guys are in there trying to get intelligence on them?"

"Waterboard, not waterboarding," he clarified.

That sounded far less interesting to me.

Just then, Steve Bowe walked in the restaurant. He said hello to us, went straight into the meeting room and shut the door behind him.

I leaned over to Ronda and whispered, "I'll bet he's doing the waterboarding."

? ? ? ?

By the time you read this Medicine Lodge High School's gymnasium will have a new name: The Bob Dohm Gymnasium. Bob had been a coach at the high school for like 100 years or so and they finally decided to put his name in there. I like Bob. He's a great guy and was one of my favorites in high school because he let us box and wrestle one year and hit golf balls as a part of gym class. Congratulations to you Bob on having the gym named after you.

The school had a big banner made here at our office with Bob's name on it and it was unveiled at Saturday night's game and reunion. (We'll have more pictures of that next week.)

I had visited with Athletic Director Lowell Dohrmann about some alternative names for the gym, but these were all rejected.

The "Bobatorium", The "Bobnasium" and The "Dohm Dome" were a few. Lowell had a couple of other names that apparently were either rejected or not ever discussed with school officials. You'll have to ask him about those!

It would be a real honor to have something in our district named after you. Come to think of it, that would be a great fund-raiser for our school. What if you could have a room named after you for a price or for something you did when you were in school?

If they did name a room after me, it would be something like "The Kevin Noland Detention Room."

? ? ? ?

Our memories of the Medicine Lodge Middle School series is in full swing this week and the memories came pouring into my inbox last week. I sat and thought about all of the memories I had of going to school there from 1981-1984. Some of my teachers included Mrs. Hawkins, Mr. and Mrs. Reneau, Mrs. Taylor, Mr. Hauck and Wanda Groves.

I remember some pretty warm days upstairs as a 7th and 8th grader. We didn't have air conditioning in the school back then. A couple of rooms might have had it, but most of the classrooms were lucky to have windows that opened and a breeze to cool you off on a hot day.

Cold days were quite the opposite. I remember never wanting to sit by the old radiator heaters. Those things would make you pretty toasty sitting next to them.

One memory I had was of choir. Choir was the period after lunch and Mrs. Paul was the instructor back in 1983. I remember one day sitting in the bleachers and the big black grand piano was sitting on the gym floor. Me and my friend Nate Cox had hidden straws and napkins in our pockets from the lunch room.

Every time our teacher would turn and there was a clean shot, we'd launch a spit wad and stick them on the lid of that black piano. Someone finally ratted us out and we got detention for it. It was one of the many memories I had about that old building. I hope you'll share yours with us!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 9, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Wow... This was a newsy week and a busy one here at the paper.

We were without our "Old Faithful" this week. She'll kill me for calling her that. Doris was gone a good part of last week after her daughter and son-in-law had a new baby girl. Congratulations to Seth and Julie Kastle and welcome Reagan!

Another paper in our industry made a startling announcement on Thursday of last week.

After 47 years of publication, The Derby Reporter will close this month. It is also owned by GateHouse Media, owners of The Barber County Index. This announcement by GateHouse is the third newspaper they own in Kansas to fold up.

The newspaper's last day to publish will be Feb. 17, according to a story on the newspaper's Web site and in its Thursday-Friday edition.

I got a chance to speak with Keith Lippoldt, Publisher of The Pratt Tribune last week.

There was some concern over the Index's hard bound editions that dated back several decades and what would happen to them. Last week they were taken to Pratt and stored at the Tribune.

Keith wanted me to assure the community that The Tribune would preserve them and like to see them given to a museum or organization in Medicine Lodge. John Nixon has expressed interest in them and I have given Keith his contact information. I'll try to keep you all up to date as to their status.

? ? ? ?

I wasn't able to attend the meeting a week ago last Friday, but the county commissioners are still discussing the future of our two hospitals.

Erin Jones covered the meeting for us (page 1) and I read with interest some of the commissioners' comments about not moving forward on this.

When I walked into that voting booth back in November and voted for this project, I never thought in a million years that my vote might be trumped if it were to pass. I know many of you feel the same way.

But realistically, times are a tough. They may get tougher.

There seems to be much focus on our current economy and the need for being fiscally responsible. I couldn't agree more, but offer a couple of points when discussing the new hospitals.

Many folks are out of work and interest rates are falling. Building materials are cheaper as well. We can look at this situation in several ways. We can have a gloom and doom attitude and feel that it is not the right time to build or see this as an opportunity to take advantage of the rates and put people to work. Construction on these hospitals will bring contract laborers to our communities. They'll rent houses, buy groceries, buy utilities and services and put some needed money back into our local economy.

If you think this is crazy, look at what the wind farm did for our little town the past year. You could hardly find a house to rent, restaurants were packed and I know of several other local businesses that benefited from the "windies" presence in our community.

We could be at a real crossroads for our county. If we scrap this idea and try and salvage some older plan to add on or repair our existing facilities, only the Medicine Lodge township will pick up that tab for our local hospital.

We voted as a county to build these hospitals and share in the expense of constructing them. The verbage might be confusing about the public building commission and the responsibilities of the commissioners, but I believe that every voter who voted yes, did so with the understanding that if it passed, we would be getting new facilities in both Kiowa and in Medicine Lodge. If that wasn't the case, then voters were horribly misled.

Yes, six months ago oil was over $100 a barrel. It's around $40 now and evaluations are down. Land values seem to be holding in the face of a gloomy national economy. Our school districts in the county are readjusting to budget cuts and declining enrolments.

I think some communities are going to thrive through the recession. Some will suffer and hemorrhage their population for not being proactive in creating a stable economy.

But nobody wants higher taxes either.

So really, how do we look at this situation. Do we see the glass as half full or half empty, or do some of us see it as a glass with a crack in it?

Take a look at where things were two years ago. Look at where they are at now and try to imagine what it will be like in two years from now if we don't do anything.

I commend those officials who have to make these difficult decisions about our future. It's easy to sit behind my computer and make suggestions and comments about other peoples' decisions - It's another to be on City Council, School Board or County Commission and be faced with real numbers and an uncertain future.

I spent a lot of time looking at the state's budget problems this week and how it will affect our school district. Although I am still not a convinced fan of the 4-day school week, I now have a new appreciation for what Mr. Cullen and our school board's job is in the very near future.

The consolidation of the students in the middle school to the high school and grade school is something we have to do in order to survive. That's a quick fix to one problem. It's going to mean job cuts and some scaled back programs.

The next problem we'll be facing is a bigger cut in education next year and with a declining enrollment, more changes are coming. They're not going to be easy changes.

We still need to figure out a way to bring jobs back to this community. Short term job stimulus by constructing new hospitals will put some money back into our local economy, but won't solve long-term population issues.

We need to find ways to attract young families.

I'm grateful that we have a forward looking economic development group in Medicine Lodge. I know they are looking at several options and trying very hard to encourage business in our county.

I am putting this challenge out there. At some point there will be government stimulus money put into play by the government to build infrastructure. Our city and county need to be on the look out for anyway we can get our piece of this pie.

I still think a prison is our answer, but I don't know where to start or who to ask to get something like this going in our county. A federal facility could bring hundreds of jobs to our community.

Think big Barber County!

 

KWIBS - From February 2, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Dozens of people have called and written to me this week concerning the closing of The Barber County Index. The common theme is congratulatory.

One caller said, "You finally won."

Hmm.... It doesn't feel like winning.

My response has been the same each time. There is no contest, there is no prize and I don't feel good about seeing any business close its doors, even my competition's.

Almost 20 years ago my family went into negotiations with a company called Hometown Communications of Destin, FL. The company wanted to purchase several area newspapers in an effort to capture the market for newsprint advertising.

We were told that our newspaper would become even better with all of the backing of this big corporation. My dad sold the paper shortly before I was to head back to college my Sophomore year and I was offered a job there, doing what I always did - running the printing press and managing the print shop.

I dropped out of college and took the job and the next day the new publisher called me into my dad's old office and asked, "If you owned this newspaper, what would you do?"

I remembered that question so clearly. I felt like someone was asking me for my opinion, but really, I was about to be given one. I was only 20 years old at the time and I recall my answer.

"I would continue to do a good job and give the people what they've always asked for - a community newspaper," I told my new boss.

I didn't have a clue how to run a newspaper. I was a printer. I ran the old web press and printed the two Kingman papers, the Coldwater and Protection papers and The Index.

I assumed that's why they hired me. I was wrong.

My new publisher said, "No, we're going to move all of this printing equipment up to Pratt so that it is more centralized. The print shop will close and you need to lay off these people. I was given a list of people to "ax".

My world spun very quickly and within a week, there were forklifts and jack hammers at work disassembling my family's legacy, one press unit at a time. I watched as my grandfather's, uncle's and father's equipment was loaded on to semi trailers and hauled to the great city of Pratt, to its new home, The Pratt Tribune.

Ironically, years later The Pratt Tribune print shop would lose out to a consolidation in McPherson where the Index was recently published.

My duties were clearly laid out at the time. I was to sell advertising. I had quotas to meet for my "territory", Medicine Lodge; and I had to meet them or risk losing my job. The quotas were impossible to meet. I was required to bring in nearly twice of what my family had generated on a quarterly basis, but I met my requirements twice and then as I watched the control of our paper slip away, I decided I was done and I was going back into printing.

After giving my two weeks notice, Ronda and I were approached by several business people in the community who urged me to start a competing newspaper. We said no at first. We had purchased our own print shop, which I was running out of my basement of our home, but the pressure was on and they wouldn't take no for an answer.

A week after I had quit The Barber County Index I was given a $10,000 loan from The First National Bank. Ronda and I bought the minimum equipment needed. We had made contact with a pressman from Belle Plaine. George and Janet Palmer offered us a building to rent. We got some needed help from my friend and fellow Publisher Dennies Andersen of the Western Star in Coldwater and we printed our first newspaper in early July of 1991. Ricky Pyle was on the cover.

So for the past 17 1/2 years we've published a locally owned and operated newspaper in competition with The Barber County Index.

Competition is a good thing, people told us. It made us work harder to please our customers. It was hard competing with several owners with deep pockets over the years, but we love what we do and we try hard to put out the best product we can.

We climbed to the top and outsold our competition despite our resources. They tried to chip away at us with high-priced, 4-color front pages and several writers from the Tribune. They even lowered their ad rates to nearly half of what we did. There were times we were so frustrated we just wanted to quit, but the community kept supporting us. Trying to compete on an even playing field was next to impossible.

A friend gave me advice once when I was frustrated with trying to compete with the resources of the owners of The Barber County Index. In 2 Corinthians 10 he read me "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. We, however, will not boast beyond proper limits, but will confine our boasting to the field God has assigned to us, a field that reaches even to you [me]."

That scripture has stuck with me for all of these years.

It stood out again as some of the Index's last words were, "Unfortunately, our superior coverage of news and sports did not translate into advertising dollars," as stated by the publisher.

I don't gloat in the knowledge my competition has gone. In fact I mourn for the newspaper that was in my family for 25 years and for the readers and for its staff. It had always been my dream to one day have it back.

I did make that attempt, but my offer to purchase the paper was not accepted. Any other information is confidential.

So how do I best describe my feelings about the Index closing?

It almost feels like an old friend has died. One that I hadn't had contact with in years. We had drifted apart, and didn't part on the best terms, but I still thought of them as family - like family you didn't send a Christmas card to. It's hard to describe the bitter sweet feeling of the situation.

I believe it is a lesson about the current state of our affairs. If a business, who can boast of more than a century of operations in our town can not survive in this climate, how vulnerable does that make the rest of us?

My focus now will be one of greater responsibility to my community. For more than 100 years several newspapers have had the awesome privilege to bring the news to the citizens of Medicine Lodge and Barber County. We've done that for more than 17 years, but now we have to perform at our very best, with our very best intentions, to be worthy of your readership and support.

We'll need your patience as we adjust.

Even though there were two newspapers in Medicine Lodge, it was still impossible to cover everything that went on in our community. Many people don't realize, but the newspaper can be a 24/7, 365 day a year job. Medicine Lodge is a pretty "newsy" community and if you've ever taken the time to read other newspapers in cities our size, you'll see we've always gone the extra mile to be a good publication.

Now more than ever, we need your cooperation to keep our community's news alive and well.

Since that first paper in 1991, we've seen computers come into the homes and most people have digital cameras. We are so appreciative of the folks who take time to snap a picture and drop us an email about their events when we can't be there. I always appreciate how the schools keep us up on their events through newsletters and emails from teachers. We want to strengthen that relationship. Email us anytime! My email is knoland@cyberlodg.com. In the future, we have plans to expand our newspaper's website to bring news to you in more detail and in a more "as it happens" setting.

Although we did not see eye to eye, J.W. Keene did the very best he could, with what he was given.

This might sound rough, but I believe that the Index closed because the owners, far away in places like New York, really didn't care about Medicine Lodge. I don't believe they ever did. They can say they did, but in the end I think it was always about the money. Only the local staff cared and sometimes they grew frustrated too.

And what is the truest loss?

Ruby Gieswein has been the secretary at the Index since one week before I left their employment in 1991. She's been the only common denominator and most faithful employee that one could be in the 19 years since my family sold the paper.

She did care, and I wish her the best of luck.

Have a great week....

 

KWIBS - From January 26, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

BTW and FYI .. I hate acronyms and abbvs.

What has happened to the way we communicate? I suppose in the day and age we live in, typing on tiny cell phones and dropping each other instant messages on the internet, we've forced our language to also be miniaturized and reduced to poor spellings and symbols for communicating to one another.

I text daily now that my daughter is in college. Gone are the days of simply picking up the phone and having a real conversation. Her schedule and social life leave her little time to communicate any other way. Now I get random messages that might read something like this, "IDK if I m cmn home 2nite or not, 2 tired."

I used to have to call and get a translation, which defeated her texting me in the first place. It's truly like learning any new language and I'm catching on quickly.

I have no problem communicating on these terms under the condition that it is being done because we are not face to face and we are using electronic devices not actually intended for that use. Believe it or not, cell phones were designed for actually speaking to the person you were calling. I do, however, draw the line when communicating to someone face to face.

Someone actually said to me, "FYI" in conversation.

If this is what's in store for us for the future, there's not much hope for our language. English may not be the most beautiful language, it is definitely not as pleasing to the ear as Latin or French, but it has always had a sort of charm. With texting-style language taking over, English becomes even more complicated and even less attractive. If people can learn to take an extra couple of seconds to say "for your information," instead of "FYI," there may be hope for the future of our language.

If this is the case, we're in for a ridiculous-sounding future and we'd better shape up PDQ.... oops.

? ? ? ?

Doing a little follow-up...

I had many comments about my Chinese underwear article a couple of weeks back. On Tuesday of last week, I received a package in the mail, from China! That's right. Frank's dad sent me several pairs of Lang Ben underwear, or men's panties as it translates.

I eagerly opened the box and spread several pair of the underwear on my desk. There's no sense in being modest at this point, since Doris brought the package from the Post Office and insisted on being present as I opened them.

I ushered her out of my office, locked the door and quickly slipped on a pair. To my satisfaction, they fit exactly like I had anticipated and I am now the most comfortable gentleman in town! Well, one of the most comfortable. I told John Nixon about the underwear and brought over a pair for him to see and he finagled one from me. I didn't tell him I tried on every pair first....

 KWIBS - From January 19, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Our new president takes the oath of office tomorrow.

Keeping to his promise, Barak Obama has already begun stimulating the economy. I was sent this article last week, and being a gun enthusiast, wanted to share it with some of my readers.

January 15, 2009

­Jim Shepherd

(205) 243-3393 cell

Outdoor Wire Names Obama "Gun Salesman of the Year"­

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — In recognition of the unprecedented demand for firearms by nervous consumers, The Outdoor Wire, the nation’s largest daily electronic news service for the outdoor industry, has named President-elect Barack Obama its "Gun Salesman of the Year". With the selection, Outdoor Wire publisher Jim Shepherd says it is time the firearms industry recognizes the fact that without President-elect Obama’s frightening consumers into action, the firearms industry might be suffering the same sort of business slumps that have befallen the automotive and housing industries.

"It’s credit where credit is due," says Shepherd, "Mr. Obama has consistently voted against individual rights to firearms, appointed a re-tread Clinton administration full of gun banners, and made it plain to antigun groups that despite what he might say to the contrary, he’s on their side." That history, along with the unquestioned support of antigun organizations, Shepherd says, has spooked consumers into a buying frenzy for firearms that could be outlawed in another Assault Weapons Ban.

"Manufacturers are months behind on orders for semiautomatic pistols, AR-style rifles, and anything with so-called ‘high-capacity magazines’," Shepherd says, "buyers we’ve surveyed across the country seem to have a single explanation for their rush to purchase firearms – Obama."

"The buying panic is not limited to people you might be described as aficionados or even ‘gun nuts’. Recently, I was in a gun store when a gentleman came and said he’d never wanted to own a gun before, but wanted to get one while he still could."

Since the November Presidential election, firearms sales have been at unprecedented levels. For December 2008 the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS) recorded a twenty-four percent increase in background checks for 2008 (1,523,426) over December 2007 (1,230,525).

This follows a forty-two percent (42%) increase in November 2008, the highest number of NICS checks in the system’s history. Those FBI background checks are required under federal law for all individuals purchasing firearms from federally licensed firearms retailers. In other words, gun sales have never been better.

Sales are so good that on Tuesday, January 6, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF) issued a notice to all federal firearms licensees that "an unprecedented increase in demand for ATF Form 4473" had run supplies low enough that dealers were temporarily given permission to photocopy the form until supplies caught up with demand. Completion of a form 4473 is required whenever a federal firearms licensee sells a fire­arm.­

As a journalist with more than two decades of national newsgathering experience, Shepherd says he’s never seen anything approaching what he calls the "Obama effect". In fact, Shepherd says, gun and ammunition sales are at such frantic levels that they have surpassed the panic-buying of Y2K or anything during the Clinton years when the first Assault Weapons Ban was passed. This time, he says, concerned consumers are buying guns and ammunition in anticipation of Obama Administration actions to prohibit certain types of firearms.

"In 1999, the fear was that computers would shut down, crippling the world," Shepherd says, "Those fears were unfounded. I don’t think the fears of an Obama administration banning guns are unfounded. His record speaks for itself. He’s never failed to support an antigun measure, despite saying he supports the Second Amendment."

According to Shepherd, moves to prohibit firearms sales would drastically impact a billion-dollar industry that is not only healthy, but pours more than one hundred fifty million dollars annually into conservation programs through an eleven percent tax collected on guns and ammo.

"The Pittman-Robertson Act provides the vast majority of funding for wildlife agencies at the federal, state and local levels," says Shepherd, "and that money comes directly from the tax levied against gun owners. Damaging the firearms industry won’t just put workers in the gun business out of work, it will severely impact wildlife and conservation efforts nationally. That damage could take decades to repair – if it can be undone."

Choosing President-elect Obama as the Gun Salesman of the Year, says Shepherd, is a lot like a good-news, bad-news joke. "His election has driven gun sales into the stratosphere," Shepherd says, "but his opposition to guns and gun ownership may be the biggest threat the industry has ever faced. If he puts scoring political points with antigen groups ahead of economic realities, he will be deliberately putting thousands of people out of work. I don’t see that as an economic stimulus plan with much of a future."

"Today, however, the facts are indisputable," Shepherd says, "Barack Obama has spurred gun sales in a time when the entire economy seems to be tanking. If that doesn’t make him the gun salesman of the year – if not the decade – I don’t know what would."

 

KWIBS - From January 12, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

I was thinking about something this past week. Back in 1999, some genius invented glasses that you wore with year 2000 on them. You looked through the two zeros. That guy or gal must have thought, "I've finally done it. I've invented something that will be a huge hit every New Year's Eve."

And then it happened - 2009.

I can see the inventer wearing his or her glasses, looking through the zeros with the two and the nine on each side and it finally sinking in, "Oh my! It's over. The dream is over. I can't do this with 2010."

With the new year, comes the resolutions. Wondering what to do with all of that left over body fat? Here's an idea...

A former Beverly Hills, Calif. liposuction doctor claimed to have the environment's best interests at heart when he began fueling his and his girlfriend's SUVs with human fat sucked out of his patients.

Unfortunately the practice was illegal, according to California state health officials.

An investigation by the California public health department revealed that Craig Alan Bittner created "lipodiesel" from his patients' fat and used it to power his Ford SUV and his girlfriend's Lincoln Navigator, Forbes.com reported this week.

"The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel — and I have more fat than I can use," Bittner wrote on his now defunct Web site. "Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth."

California law forbids the use of human medical waste to power vehicles. I wonder if Kansas has a law like that?

Bittner's practice, Beverly Hills Liposculpture, closed in November.

Apparently, several former patients have filed lawsuits against the doctor, claiming he allowed his unlicensed girlfriend and an assistant to perform procedures, causing mistakes that left the patients disfigured, attorney Andrew Besser, who represents three of the former patients, told Forbes.com.

If you're not interested in losing weight, or in fact, wanting to attract those of the opposite sex wanting to indulge in fast foods, Burger King Corp. may have just the thing. The home of the Whopper has launched a new men's body spray called "Flame." The company describes the spray as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

I can hear my wife now, "mmmm baby, you smell like meat."

The fragrance is on sale at New York City retailer Ricky's NYC in stores and online for a limited time for $3.99.

Burger King is marketing the product through a website featuring a photo of its King character reclining fireside and naked but for an animal fur strategically placed to not offend.

Too late... I was offended when you made a meat scented body spray.....

The marketing ploy is the latest in a string of viral ad campaigns by the company. Burger King is also in the midst of its Whopper Virgins campaign that features a taste test with fast-food "virgins" pitting the Whopper against McDonald's Corp.'s Big Mac.

Their (dis) tasteful advertising makes me long for a Big Mac..

Burger King Holdings Inc. shares actually rose 15 cents to close at $20.53 just before the year's end.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 5, 2009 - By Kevin Noland

Hello and Happy New Year!

It's time to start messing up your checks by writing the wrong date at the top, if you haven't already done that!

When people find out that we are a host family for AFS, they usually ask the basic questions.

Where is the student from? What has the student told you about his life in his home country? What are some of the differences between where the student lived and the United States. What is the neatest thing you have learned from hosting an AFS student?

We're now halfway through our year with Frank, who's real name is Wang Haiji. Frank is from China.

That's about what I've learned in the past six months!

That's not entirely true. I know that Frank is an only child, a rule that is enforced in China to control an exploding population. Frank's family does not own a car because they have a very advanced public transportation system in their home town. They live in a housing complex that has close to 400 other people in it. Frank's dad is captain of a cargo ship that frequently is at sea and often makes port in the United States. Frank's mom is an accountant. Frank lives in a city along with 6-8 million other people, however, I can't pronounce the name of his city.

I know Frank loves to play basketball, which is played a little bit differently than in the United States, but he is enjoying learning plays and experiencing the level of competition he's unfamiliar with. Frank likes to build models and enjoys reading and studying. He's extremely smart.

With little surprise, Frank is a normal teenage boy, not too much different than my own teenage son.

I've learned that kids are just kids - no matter where they are from. Teenage boys are clumsy. They can be unintentionally messy. They stay up too late, spend too much time on the internet, eat too much junk food, listen to crappy music and have a bad taste in clothing.

I've actually learned a lot of neat things about Frank and Chinese culture.

So what is the neatest thing I've learned? I've learned that Frank and the Chinese have the coolest underwear!

Tuesday evening the boys were gone and Ronda was doing laundry. As she was folding clothes, she held up his underwear and said, "Look at Frank's underwear."

They are so cool. Men, you just wouldn't understand unless you could see them for yourself. These underwear look like they are made for male comfort. You know how a baseball fits so nicely into a broken in ball mitt? or a baby kangaroo fits into his mother's pouch? Well, let that thought sink in a minute.

That's kind of how Frank's underwear looks like they'd feel if I could put them on - and I probably would have tried if my waist wasn't 10 inches bigger around than his.... and don't think I didn't check either. I'm not for sure what size they were because they are in Chinese, but I'm pretty sure it would take a couple of pairs to make one that fit me.

So I got online and I searched for the brand name "Lang Ben" and a bunch of scribbly looking characters that my keyboard doesn't have. I didn't find a match, so I modified the search to include "Chinese Underwear."

This kicked up a bunch of matches which included pictures and descriptions and I found one site that had something similar to Frank's amazing looking underwear.

I clicked on the photo and then clicked for a price and description.

That's when I learned something else about the Chinese culture. They have a difficult time when it comes to translation.

The description of the underwear said, "Men's Panties."

I've got to get me a pair!

I did talk to Frank about his underwear when he got home and told him that I wanted a pair. He got his laptop out and webcamera and spoke with his dad for what I thought was a good half-hour. I should be getting some Chinese underwear in the mail soon!

Poor kid, I hope he doesn't read my column. Let's all keep the fact that I wrote about Frank's underwear our little secret.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From December 29, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I'm writing this Christmas Eve, eagerly waiting to get home to celebrate Christmas with my family.

I have the news on and I'm half writing and half listening and half thinking about what I might find under the tree later for me. Hopefully, it's a calculator because obviously I can't add.....

Earlier in the week, I had gone to see Dr. Pete. I developed Rednose Reindeer Eye. I made that up. My eye is all swollen and red like Ruldolph's nose, but higher and to the left. I could lead Santa's sleigh and reindeer if only I had peripheral vision and depth perception.

As I got ready to go see Pete at the clinic, I remembered it was December 23 and I should bring him a gift. Like any crafty man, I had made a stack of gifts in the pantry that I had received earlier in the week and grabbed a can of salted nuts and stuck a bow on it from another gift.

I walked into Pete's office and said, "Merry Christmas, Dude!" He said, "Nice regift......"

It's extrasensory development that every man has by the age of 30. He knew this wasn't the first time these nuts had made a round. Still he graciously accepted them and placed them with the other 5 cans of nuts and 20 plates of cookies in his office.

Regifting probably began in cave man days.

"Atouk! Me lunda (that's "love" in caveman language) this rock. Goes with everything Lar own. Thank you Atouk!"

"Yes Lar, me know Atouk got same rock from you last rockmas." (Note, Christmas hadn't happened yet).

Lar then smashes Atouk in the head with the very same rock he regifted and drags Atouk's woman off by her hair.

Did you know that someone is actually keeping statistics on regifting?

2007 Regifting Survey Findings

* Nearly seven out of ten (68%) women regift or are thinking about it (compared with only 47% of men).

* Regifting favorably has increased by 7% in two years. The 2005 survey showed that 54% of the respondents felt it was acceptable. In 2007, that number grew to 58%. 2008's figures aren't even in yet, but you can bet they'll be higher. I've regifted twice already!

* 42% of respondents said they would regift to save money -- compared to only 33% respondents in 2005. 25% of the respondents think that regifting is growing in popularity because consumers are doing it as a way to save on holiday expenses.

* 14% of respondents think that regifting is growing in popularity because it is a form of recycling. See Barb! That's how I recycle!

* Most regifters have good intentions -- 62% regift because they think it is something the recipient would really like. So that means the other 38% are just heartless and unappreciative!

* Regifting is becoming more widely accepted, 60% of respondents think so. Even more telling, less than 10% of respondents claimed they would be unhappy to receive a regift. 18% even claimed they would be happy or amused to be on the receiving end of a regift.

Of course, the number-one regifting rule is - Don’t get caught. All other regifting suggestions relate to this primary rule. Getting caught could cause a triple-whammy of regifting shame for you (you are a busted regifter), the person who gets your regift (who knows you didn’t buy him anything new) and the first-time gifter (who sees his or her gift given to someone else and now thinks you hated it, which you probably did).

Acceptable Regifting Guidelines

1. The toughest rule of them all: Give the gift with good intentions, just like you would a new gift that you picked out yourself. Give it because you honestly feel that the recipient would enjoy it.

2. Brand new and new-in-the-package items without any trace of wear and tear are suitable for regifting. If it's scratched, dented or torn up, ripped or stained, you're busted.

3. Make sure the gift doesn't still have a tag on it that says, "To Kevin (or insert your name) From Mom".

4. Wrap the gift in nice, new gift wrapping if you can. If you can't, do like I do. I usually stick mine in a gift bag (recycled of course), sticking a new name tag over the old one so as not to alert anyone that it is an old bag. Sometimes I use a staple gun to seal up the bag because nothing says, "This has never been opened before," like a staple.

5. If you know the gift looks like something you had but didn’t want, you can be honest. Tell the recipient, "I got this last year, but it really doesn’t match my skin tone. I kept thinking that it would be great on you. If you don’t like it, feel free to pass it on to someone you think would like it better." But this only works as long as you didn't give it back to the person who gave it to you first.... Which brings me to the last rule of regifting.

6. Keep track of who gave you what to avoid regifting to the original giver, which can be the most uncomfortable situation. I usually try to ship my regifts out of state to family and friends that didn't see me get it.

Dang, I just blew it because they all get the paper.

Happy New Year!

 

KWIBS - From December 22, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Of the 52 weeks out of each year we print a newspaper, the last two weeks of the year are the most hectic for us. Usually Christmas falls somewhere either on a print day, deadline day or smack dab in the middle of it all. We rush around at the paper weeks before, trying to schedule the time off and find ways to get work done in advance so we can produce the last two papers of the year.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, it dawns on me that it's almost Christmas again. I'm so caught up in all of the bustle that until I open the file called "Christmas", I nearly forget that it's even here already.

I opened that file last week and started working on the Christmas edition. This issue is my most favorite one to put out.

This issue has the letters to Santa from the grade school kids in it.

One of my favorite letters this year comes from a kid named Andrew. It reads:

Dear Santa,

I want a cowboy gun and a shotgun. Are your reindeer ok? I want to see your reindeer.

Love Andrew C.

I forwarded this message up to Santa and, to my surprise, got a response back.

Dear Andrew:

My reindeer are good right now, but I'm concerned and suspicious about your gun fetishes. I think I'll bring you some toys instead.

Love, Santa

This issue also has the greetings from the merchants of Medicine Lodge and I've always thought of this issue as a giant Christmas card.

And that's good because Ronda and I are terrible when it comes to sending out Christmas cards. However, we've had a pretty good track record of Christmas editions - 17, to be exact.

Most importantly, when we get this issue put together, it's time to stop and reflect on what the holiday we're observing really means.

It's so easy to forget what the holiday is all about. If you're like me you have last minute shopping to do, gift wrapping, decorating, parties to go to, school programs to attend, baking, family (hopefully not baking family) and everything else that goes along with this time of year.

So what does Christmas symbolize for you?

It's an occasion to nearly freeze time for a moment and spend it with family and friends. It's a time for remembering to be thankful for the things in life that are the most important.

For me and my family, it symbolizes God's love and mercy and the gift of his Son Jesus.

My favorite scripture about this season is in Luke 2, beginning with verse 8: "And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ[a] the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,"Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."

Ronda and I are the worst when it comes to sending out Christmas cards. So this is our card to you all. To our friends, our family and our readers, we wish you a Merry Christmas. I pray that the peace and hope that is Jesus's birth fills your home this holiday.

So from Ronda, Breeann, Joey, Nicholas and Frank (our AFS student from China), along with myself, we wish you all a.......

Merry Christmas!

 

KWIBS - From December 15, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Last week auto makers went before congress requesting close to $40 billion in government loans to save the auto industry.

I have mixed feelings about the government bail out. On one hand I believe that our economy might be on the edge of collapse if we allow millions of Americans to lose their jobs. On the other hand I grow weary of corporate executives who are given large salaries only to have their companies go nearly bankrupt and then ask me as the taxpayer to help fix their problems. The real problem I had with this was a threat that the executives made to the American people: Do this, or we'll fold up and the ripple effect will ruin our country.

These kinds of threats should be taken seriously. And if Congress decides to give these companies money, we must hold them accountable. I'm actually glad for the oversight that many are asking for in giving this money. It must be repaid, with interest to the American people.

With that said, I'll be in Washington on Wednesday to testify before congress to bail out the newspaper industry..... kidding, but do you see the dangerous road we're now on?

And what about Main Street businesses? We generate most of the jobs in this country, borrow the most money and provide most of the services that keep our country going. When will we receive our bail out?

In just under 40 days, our new president will take office. He'll have his work cut out for him. I believe there will be a renewed appreciation for how difficult a job this is and hopefully we'll get that change that we were promised during the campaign.

Today, Dec. 15 is the 217th anniversary of an important date in American history. Do you know what it is?

Doug Anstaett, executive director of the Kansas Press Association in Topeka, sent me this editorial.

I know, you’ve got a lot on your mind today with the economy tanking, Christmas just around the corner and the pressure mounting to come up with a New Year’s Resolution or two.

But if you can find a few minutes in your busy schedule during the next week, you might want to give a "hip, hip, hooray" to the memory of George Mason. For it was Mason who made sure that the Bill of Rights became the law of the land in the fledgling United States of America on Dec. 15, 1791.

Mason, a Virginian, insisted upon the inclusion of individual rights as part of the U.S. Constitution. He had written the Virginia Declaration of Rights that was adopted along with the Virginia Constitution and refused to sign the new national constitution because it lacked such a listing of individual freedoms. He went home from the constitutional convention disillusioned and as an outspoken opponent of ratification.

Fortunately for us, his stubbornness paid off, the Bill of Rights was adopted and we continue today to enjoy the individual freedoms spelled out for every citizen in those first 10 amendments to the Constitution.

Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. Freedom of the press. The right against self-incrimination. The right to a speedy and public trial. The right to bear arms. The right to a trial by jury. Protection against unreasonable search and seizure.

Those of other rights remain some of our most cherished freedoms more than two centuries later.

These rights have stood the test of time and guarantee every citizen — even those who hold views the rest of us might find abhorrent — the right to speak out, the right to be represented in court by counsel, the right to practice any religion or no religion and the right to be safe from unwarranted intrusions into their homes and lives.

The Bill of Rights may not have been on the front burner when our Founding Fathers debated the new Constitution, but George Mason made sure that the country did not move forward without those guiding principles spelled out.

We all owe a debt of gratitude to those who chose not to remain silent, who refused to be intimidated and who stood firm until our nation’s foundation was laid properly.

George Mason indeed earned his title of "Father of the Bill of Rights." Join me today in a "hip, hip, hooray."

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From December 8, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Tough economic times call for thrifty decisions at Christmas time. Surely even the most romantic will think twice about the $86,609 price tag for the items in the carol, "The Twelve Days of Christmas."

That's right. That's this year's cost, according to the annual "Christmas Price Index" compiled by PNC Wealth Management, which tallies the single partridge in a pear tree to the 12 drummers drumming, purchased repeatedly, as the song suggests. The price is up $8,508 or 10.9 percent, from $78,100 last year.

In this tight economy, what's a romantic to do?

The creative, yet cash-strapped consumer, might consider some modifications. After all, who needs dozens of birds?

Instead of two turtle doves ($55) why not two Dove chocolate bars at about buck each? You don't have $4,414 for 10 lords-a-leaping? How about a "Riverdance" DVD? Plenty of crazy leaping there, and it's only about $20. Check at Alco, they can probably get you one. Save a couple grand by skipping the 11 pipers piping and getting a CD of Scottish bagpipe music for less than $15.

Necessity is the mother of invention. So this year, it might pay to be a little more inventive.

While some sources suggest the gold rings actually refer to ring neck pheasants — apparently, all the birds were for feasting, I would personally suggest a turkey at White's costing around $15-$20.

But sticklers for tradition might also save by procrastinating. With the economy in its first consumer-led recession since the early 1980s and energy prices falling as of late, prices could come down between now and Christmas. Our local merchants are providing big savings this holiday and you'll save on gas too!

PNC Financial Services Group Inc. checks jewelry stores, dance companies, pet stores and other sources to compile the list. While it is done humorously, PNC said its index mirrors actual economic trends.

For instance, gasoline costs topped $4 this summer, driving up shipping costs for many goods. So a pear tree that cost $150 last year will cost $200 this year. (The partridge is up $5 to $20.)

For your bird items in the song, I say buy some bird seed from the Coop and you'll get to see some birds. They may not be partridges or in pear trees or calling birds, but you'll get your birds.

Luxury items are also up, as reflected by the price of the seven swans-a-swimming, which are up 33 percent to $5,600.

Take your significant other to the Barber County State Lake for a view of the ducks and geese for free. It's the next best thing.

But if you just want to spend money the faltering economy has also brought down the cost of some items.

The three French hens (down $15 to $30) and six geese-a-laying (down $120 to $240) reflect declines in food prices.

Guys, nine ladies dancing... you should probably not go there if you want to salvage not only Christmas, but your relationships as well.....

The eight maids-a-milking will cost 12 percent more, $52.40 from about $47 last year, thanks to their second annual minimum wage increase. Good luck finding them. Nobody wants to work for minimum wage anymore.

The 10 lords-a-leaping, 11 pipers piping and 12 drummers drumming are all up about 3 percent, reflecting the general average wage increase.

And nothing is more romantic that 12 drummers drumming.

On another good note the five golden rings fell 11.4 per cent as retailers trim prices of luxury goods in light of all markets a-moaning.

Your best bet is probably to not try and keep up with the 12 Days of Christmas theme, but if you are going to, try and substitute some of the items for things you can buy right here in Medicine Lodge. It will be fun and it will save you money and you'll be supporting your local economy.

I'll bet you're singing that song in your head, aren't you?

Have a great week and Merry Christmas!

 

KWIBS - From November 24, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

A lot of talk around town and in my office this week revolved around the idea of a 4 day school week and consolidating the 7th & 8th graders with the high school and elementary grades at the grade school.

I did my best to present the facts concerning this subject and to be unbiased in my reporting on the subject in an article on the front page this week.

It wasn't easy. Many people I spoke with became quite emotional about the subject and I often wondered what I had gotten myself into. I listened to their concerns and encouraged them to attend the meeting to be held Tuesday, November 25.

I was a student in the district for 12 years and my daughter is a recent graduate of MLHS after attending school in the district for 12 years. My sons Joey and Nicholas are in their 10th and 5th years respectively and I have an AFS student who will graduate in May from MLHS. I've been involved with this school district for the past 33 years in some fashion and will be involved in it for at least another 7 years before my last child will graduate there.

I feel like we've done our part, procreating and getting kids enrolled in our school system so they could be taught and counted for state funding. But my wife and I are getting older now. We're not having anymore babies, that we know of or would have to sue a local doctor if we did.

Our jobs of being the baby-makers in town are over and we've passed the torch on to a new generation of people who need to, well, get busy and make babies!

Seriously, there are three ways to bring more kids into the district: Have them born here, move them here with new families or host students from other countries, like through AFS.

One problem we have is, there aren't as many young people in town having babies. This is due, in large part, that there are not enough jobs for young people to come back to.

That's where the real problem lies for this district's future. We do need to be proactive in finding ways to save our district money, but at the same time we need to be figuring out ways we can create jobs and attract younger families to our community.

It should have been a battle cry for our city and county for many years, but it simply has taken a way back seat to issues like taxes, roads, bridges, water lines and even a new pool for those who are left to use it.

There are glimpses of hope.

The wind farm will bring in a few permanent jobs to our community and two new hospitals will at least guarantee the employment of existing families and perhaps attract a few more, but we need to think bigger.

In years past, many "big" ideas were shot down. One such idea was a pig processing plant. I'm not exactly sure that I would be supportive of this type of industry in our community.

Norm Clouse and I were visiting the other day. Surprisingly, we had been thinking along the same lines. A couple of years ago, I had mentioned to my wife and some friends that a 30-45 bed jail facility could create a needed service for the area and would create a few jobs in town.

Norm took this one step further. He asked "Why not convince someone within the state of Kansas to build a prison here?"

I think this is brilliant.

I know your first thought is, why in the world would we want to bring criminals to Medicine Lodge? Well, you wouldn't believe the numbers we already have living in our community and they are free to roam the streets. At least these folks would be locked up and supervised for the duration of their stay.

Depending on the size of a facility, their temporary homes could create job opportunities for as little as 100 people to as many as 10000 people

Crime is a big industry and it's even bigger in tough times

Maybe it's not the right idea for Medicine Lodge, but it's a forward thinking thought and one of the first I have heard in a long time. It should be pursued.

Back to a 4 day school week plan......

I will be honest, my initial reaction to this proposal was not positive.

I don't want to see anyone in our district lose their jobs or be forced to take pay cuts. It's a difficult time for many, including our school district.

My family lives on the far north corner of the county. My children would have very long days if we went to a 4 day week plan and I know others would too. Already, my kids get on the bus at around 7:30 a.m. on good weather days. I can't imagine how much earlier they would get on and how much later they could get home.

Fridays are our deadline day at the paper. It is impossible for us to run back and forth to our home to transport kids to events.

I guess the biggest issue is my own pride in our district. I don't want to see us move backwards. I want things to be the way they were when I graduated. I know that's not realistic. The high school was nearly at capacity then. I want to see growth, so this reason doesn't really count, but I know it is influencing my choices.

It's obvious something needs to change in order to move us forward and to insure we will have the funds needed to operate our district in future years.

You need to go to this meeting on Tuesday, November 25th and hear what Mr. Cullen has to say and if you don't like it then tell him and tell your board members. If you do like it, tell him and tell your board members, but however you feel, be prepared to be a part of some sort of solution. Let's work together to figure out how we can save money and grow in our district.

? ? ? ?

Bob Stuttler was gracious enough to invite me and my wife over to The Grand Hotel to see the progress on the inside. All I can say is WOW! The work is amazing and some people might not realize that Bob and Dorothy will be opening a gun shop on the main floor in the very near future. This won't be your average gun shop. I believe this will attract a high caliber of people (no pun intended).

We'll try and bring you the latest on their progress as soon as it is available.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Stuttlers are a great asset to our community and they have revived an historic icon in the center of our town and should be shown our appreciation.

? ? ? ?

Congratulations to Representative Dennis McKinney on his new job. McKinney has taken the State Treasurer's appointment from Gov. Sebelius for Kansas. He's done such a service to our area and I hope he will be active in finding a replacement for himself. Good luck Dennis and thank you for your great service to our district.

Have a great week and Happy Thanksgiving!

 

KWIBS - From November 17, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

It's a week past Veteran's Day, but there should never be only one day that we honor those who serve our country.

I'm always amazed at the Veteran's Program put on at the High School each year. This year was no different. Despite a few sound glitches, the program was a success.

Thank you to all the area veterans for attending even though the weather was a bit cold and nasty. It's a great thing for our kids to see you all and connect with you on that personal level.

Although she would never want any attention, Linda Hartley has served as this program's organizer for a number of years and has kept it alive and fresh each year. There are so many people that help her - too many to even mention here. They know who they are.

Two of the guest speakers were law makers. Local Representative Dennis McKinney and Congressman Jerry Moran. After Moran spoke, I saw him exit the gym and proceeded to cut him off at the pass.

I found Congressman Moran near an exit and asked him if I could have a minute of his time. I wanted him to know that I appreciated him not supporting the bailout plan and I asked him to hold accountable those who were abusing the money that the taxpayers have given them.

Just last week AIG was caught spending another $330,000+ on high end resorts for some of its executives.
I believe Moran supports the idea of accountability. We'll see what happens over the next few months.

Going back to the subject of veterans, I spoke with my friend Nathan Hunt a while back. Sgt. Hunt has served two missions in Iraq. He lives in Belle Plaine, Kansas with his wife Jeri and their kids Madelyn and Bradon.

Nate broke the news to his family and friends that he is volunteering for another mission. This time in Afghanistan. On Friday of last week, I ran across this news release. It deals with the unit that Nate will be attached to and what their mission is. I found it particularly interesting and wanted to share it with my readers.

KANSAS NATIONAL GUARD WILL DEPLOY AGRIBUSINESS DEVELOPMENT TEAM TO AFGHANISTAN

One of the things the United States is known for is its military might, but a group of Kansas National Guardsmen will soon be demonstrating that there is more to the National Guard than that as they deploy in February 2009 to show the people of Afghanistan how to do something that Kansans are known for: farming.

A joint Kansas Army and Air National Guard team of approximately 60 personnel will go to Afghanistan next year as an Agribusiness Development Team (ADT). The team, comprised of personnel with backgrounds and expertise in various aspects of the agribusiness field, will work in conjunction with the Provincial Reconstruction Team, USAID, USDA, the Department of State and other agencies in Afghanistan’s Laghman Province. Their year-long mission is to assist in building capabilities for increased agricultural production, training and services, and improving the safety of food and other agricultural products that are produced and distributed to the Afghan people. They will also assist in the development of sustainable agriculture and other related enterprises that will increase the economic well-being of the Afghans.

The Kansas National Guard will be performing this mission in partnership with Kansas State University over a three year period to build continuity and relationships with local and regional Afghan individuals and leaders.

"This is an incredible mission for our Guard members who are again stepping up to serve," said Gov. Kathleen Sebelius. "And on this mission they are teaching the people of Afghanistan something that will benefit them and their families for years to come."

"Most people know the National Guard as defenders of freedom, but we’re also builders," said Maj. Gen. Tod Bunting, the adjutant general. "Sometimes, we build physical things, like roads and bridges, but in this case were helping to rebuild a society. These Kansas Guardsmen will assist the people of Afghanistan to develop and improve their agricultural production and storage, making life a little better for everyone."

"This is a unique opportunity for members of the Agribusiness Development Team to employ both their military and civilian skills in Afghanistan and for the people who need our assistance," said Col. Eric Peck, commander of the first Kansas ADT. "All members of the ADT are training hard to meet the mission requirements from a military perspective. We are also working with our Kansas State University partners to develop a cultural and agricultural training program that will benefit all three of the Kansas-lead teams."

The Agribusiness Development Team program is a joint effort of several federal government agencies and the National Guard. The concept has been successfully used in Central America for approximately 20 years. The first such team was deployed from Missouri to Afghanistan in February 2008 and a second was deployed from Texas in June. Four additional teams, including the one from the Kansas National Guard, will be deployed over a 12 month period.

KWIBS - From November 10, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Our newspaper did something new last week. I had attempted it once before, but it didn't work as we wanted it to.

On Tuesday, November 4, 2008 our newspaper's website did a live update of election results for Barber County. This was done in real time. Most of our updating took place within 5 minutes of election board reporting.

I was interested in seeing what kind of response we would get from that type of reporting.

I was overwhelmed.

The website received 1289 hits from 7:00 p.m. on Tuesday until 12:15 a.m. on Wednesday. I fell asleep after that and didn't check until the next morning. As of this writing, the election web page received a total number of just under 1700 hits. The website itself had 1219 views.

To put that in to perspective that's almost three times the number of hard copies we sell on the street!

This will open the door to other possibilities for the newspaper's website. We hope to one day have daily reporting and news stories, but we have to be careful to balance our website with our newsprint edition.

The article to the bottom right is from a fellow newspaper publisher, David Powls from Holton. He wrote the editorial to Kansas Publishers and I wanted to share his thoughts with my readers this week.

Have a great week!

Congratulations Barber County

for passing Resolution 2208-10

Take stand, but don’t take yourself too seriously

Hello from Holton. At this writing, we’re in the process of printing our Wednesday, Nov. 5 edition with the general election results.

My pick for president (John McCain) mirrored the majority of the state’s voters on election day but lost in the national voting.

A $21.3 million Holton school bond issue that I wrote in favor of failed on election day by a 2-1 margin.

Had I been newspapering in any other county in the Second Congressional District, I would have strongly supported Nancy Boyda’s re-election campaign. Her opponent, however, is from Holton and I know Lynn Jenkins will do a fine job at Washington, D.C., too. I editorialized it was a shame that we couldn’t send both Boyda and Jenkins to Congress. I believe that.

Another Holton High School graduate, Pat Roberts, won his U.S. Senate race against Jim Slattery. This political race also featured two good candidates.

As newspaper editors, it is tradition for us to step outside the voting booth curtains and tell our readers how we plan to vote – knowing full well we’re opening up ourselves to the possible business backlash that can come when a customer (or customers) disagrees with us. I’m sure you know what I mean.

At times like these, I think about the life and times of longtime Garnett newspaper editor George Clasen, now deceased.

I grew up in Garnett. Clasen provided me with my first real newspaper job (an internship). My parents often did not agree with the opinions that editor Clasen voiced in The Garnett Review and Anderson Countian. But when Clasen retired, many Garnett residents, including my parents, commented that they really missed him and his opinions – even if they did disagree with him much of the time!

I often write in The Holton Recorder that it’s OK for readers to disagree with me and remain on friendly terms with me.

I also often write that the opinions of the paper are printed on the Opinion Page only.

In community journalism, we strive to provide our readers with both sides of important issues – in every story – all the time.

In fact, a news story is not complete until it provides both sides to every issue.

If we’re doing our jobs as newspaper reporters, readers should not know how we feel about either side of an issue.

Someone a long time ago told me that community journalism is the most difficult career I would ever love. That has been the case for me. As all newspaper editors know, every day in this business brings new stories to write and new advertising messages to sell for the paper.

I believe it’s important for newspaper editors – especially those of us in smaller communities – to continue writing editorials on political issues and races and other important local issues (like school bond issues, for example). There are many places for people in our communities to turn for news these days but not a lot of others willing to take a stand on important community issues of the day.

Some final advice about editorial writing in a small community: Do your homework first. Consult with experts on your subjects. Understand the issue you’re writing about; avoid those issues you don’t.

Trust your judgment on what’s best for your community. Never be too stubborn to admit mistakes when you make them.

…And when your favorite presidential candidate does not win and the school bond you supported fails, don’t take it too seriously.

David Powls is president of the Kansas

Press Association for 2008-09.

 

KWIBS - From November 3, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

You'll be thinking, "welcome to the 21st century Kevin."

My wife and I took a little trip last week for her birthday. Her birthday is actually today, but we celebrated a week early because it fit into the Dallas Cowboys' home game schedule!

Our trip included a visit to Deep Ellum, the old warehouse district in downtown Dallas, and a visit to my Uncle Gary's ranch outside of Ft. Worth.

Although Ronda is from the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, things have changed some in the 23 years since she's left that area. We knew we'd have to rely on maps and instructions to find the points of interest for our trip.

My buddy Dale McCurdy has used a GPS for years with his traveling to various cities around the country and swears by one. We learned that Dan and Val Dutton had a Garmin Nuvi and we asked if we could borrow it for the weekend. They were gracious and we set out on our trip with this neat little gadget.

All we had to do was enter an address and the lady inside the small device took over navigation for us.

"Drive 1 mile and exit left," she spoke to us.

This was incredible! We were finding everything we needed just be listening to this soft spoken electronic female.

And when we got to where we were going, she was elated! "Arriving at destination," she said! You could practically hear the joy in her electronic voice.

It wasn't long before Ronda detected my affection for my new girlfriend. She would give me directions and I would thank her and soon it was evident that we were becoming friends.

"Should we eat Mexican," I asked Ronda?

"I don't know. Why don't you ask your girlfriend," she huffed.

It was apparent to me that she was jealous of my new friendship.

As with any new relationship, the new began to wear off. After four days of, "Recalculating and Course Correction" I found we were growing apart. We learned that when you don't follow her directions, she gets a little snippy.

Although she was wonderful at getting us around in Dallas, she lacked some necessary skills needed in order for our friendship to grow.

I asked her about politics, she didn't answer. Anywhere I wanted to eat seemed to be fine with her. It was like she didn't really care. Once when I asked for a restaurant she led us to a couple that had obviously been closed for quite some time. There were also a couple of times she intentionally told us to exit where there were no exits.

I could feel the tension growing on our way to our hotel one evening when I told Ronda, "I'll be leaving the girlfriend in the car tonight."

? ? ? ?

Look how happy she looks!

Ronda's special weekend in Dallas wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for her Dad and Stepmom Don and Linda Vick, Dale and Michele McCurdy, John Nixon (for watching the boys) and throwing them scraps of food), Joey and Frank (for not trashing our house while we were gone), Sarah and Dwain Richert (for keeping Nick), Grandma MeMe, Dan and Val Dutton (for the GPS/girlfriend, Pete (for his wireless Internet card), the acadamy (for nominating me for this.... oops, wrong speech)........ and my staff here at the Premiere for kicking it up a notch and helping me get the paper done early so we could leave on Friday.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Ronda! I hope it was the best birthday you ever had. We love you!!!! I love you!!!!

? ? ? ?

On an interesting side note to this story, I told my mom last week we were going to stay in Oklahoma City on Friday night to break up the trip to Dallas. She said, "Me too!"

What a coincidence....

I told her we were staying at the Biltmore Hotel and she said, "ME TOO!"

That was too strange.

I told her we were staying in room 229 on the second floor and she said, "We're staying on the ground level."

Wow....That was close! lol....

? ? ? ?

We'll be voting for president tomorrow. I don't know how much of a chance McCain has at beating the Obama Money Machine.

You would have thought that Obama would have graciously given McCain some of that extra money he earned in the last days of the election to help him out in the polls, but that would have been a redistribution of HIS wealth! lol.....

We ran into this guy in the parking lot at the Dallas Cowboy's game. He might have something going here......

No matter who wins or how the bond issue turns out this election, on Wednesday, we'll all still be Americans and we'll all still be residents of Barber County. We have to work hard to improve our current situations nationally and locally.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 28, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I've probably written about this before, but October and November are big birthday months in my family. It starts with my daughter, Breeann on the 3rd of October, then I have one the next day on the 4th of October. For my birthday, we went to Amarillo, TX to see Dale and Michele McCurdy's new home and to go and completely destroy my left knee hiking in Palo Duro Canyon! It was a beautiful canyon that I easily climbed. It was going down that got me.

We get a couple of week's break from the birthdays and then it's my son Joey's birthday.

And an important birthday it is for him on Wednesday, October 28th. This week my oldest son turns 16 years old. Along with that right of passage comes his legal driver's license. I'm sure Joey is dreaming of trips to town without making up excuses as to why he is always on a farm errand. Joey, you can unload the livestock and grain out of the back of the pickup and take your first legal lap around the square on me buddy. Happy 16th Birthday!

And then, just a week later, it's my wife's birthday on November 3rd.

Without telling you her age, this year is a particularly dark birthday for my wife. I wanted it to be something more special for her than black balloons and tombstones around her desk, so I contacted her father in El Paso, Texas. Ronda had mentioned to me that she had never been to a Dallas Cowboy's football game and I knew right away that was what we would be doing for her birthday. Ronda's dad hooked us up with tickets and hotel rooms as our birthday gifts and our friends and former Medicine Lodge residents Dale and Michele McCurdy, mentioned earlier, joined us all the way from Amarillo, TX for a tailgating party at Texas Stadium this weekend complete with adjoining seats in the stadium to watch the Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. our beloved Dallas Cowboys, who have strugled the last few weeks with the injury of their Quarter Back Tony Romo.

Romo, Oh Romo, Wherefore art thou throw Romo? Your Dallas Cowboys need you. We had hoped you would play, but I'm betting we watched you on the sideline.

By the time you read this, we'll be on our way back from Texas, where Ronda grew up until she moved to Kansas in the mid-80s. If all goes as planned, we'll have stopped along the way to see some of her old classmates and a stop to see my Uncle Gary Noland. Gary used to be in Medicine Lodge in the late 60s-early 70s running the Barber County Index with my grandfather Bill Noland. My uncle now raises and trains horses in Fort Worth, TX, a far cry away from the days of slinging ink.

It's a trip we've been anticipating since Ronda first guessed what her surprise was going to be for her birthday earlier this month.

You see, it was supposed to be a game where I gave her clues each day to guess what she was getting for her birthday. I gave her three to start with. Here they were.

1). It's more than five hours away.

2). You can sit down or stand up at it.

3). It's inside but it's also outside.

She said, "YOU'RE TAKING ME TO A DALLAS COWBOY'S FOOTBALL GAME!!!"

I guess with age, she has also gained intuition, because I didn't think the clues were that easy!

Ronda's actual birthday is on Monday, November 3rd, 2008. So be sure to wish her a happy birthday. I love you Ronda. I hope you have a great birthday!

It won't be long after that and we'll be celebrating Wang Haji's birthday. "Frank", as we call him, is our AFS student from East China and he will be celebrating his 17th birthday with his host family on November 23rd.

Best wishes to Deana Horn who left us last week for a new job. Erin Jones will be writing for the Premiere starting this week and we're excited to welcome her on board.

Only one more week before the elections. My predictions: Obama / Biden, two new hospitals for Barber County???

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 20, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I'm going to steal some words from one of our readers this week.

Bill Robbins of Pratt called me for our annual conversation about such things as the hospital bond issue, the school district, 99 Springs and Lake Arrowhead roads and the economy in general.

Bill made an interesting point. The stock market woes have forced big oil to lower fuel costs and this benefits Americans. This comes just in time. They'll now be able to afford gas money to drive to bankruptcy court.

The economy isn't looking so good now is it?

Here’s how bad the economy really is. There are now Americans taking jobs away from illegal aliens.

And it is pretty scary looking at our financial problems in this country. Doesn’t it make you yearn for the good old days when we were just worried about oil hitting 150 bucks a barrel?

At this writing, I'm afraid to tell you what the market is doing. It dropped almost 800 points one day, picked up 600 the next and then dropped like another 700. I can't even add and subtract quick enough to keep up.

I, like many of you, lost a little bit of my retirement last week on the roller coaster ride that is our stock market. I don't really understand how my money magically disappears when the market goes down. I'm sure that someone out there is smart enough to explain it to me in laymen's terms, but for the moment I'll share my confusion.

When your average person goes to the bank and asks for money for a home, for instance, the bank checks your credit score, looks at your liability vs. collateral, your income and the inside of your colon (in most instances, unless you get one of those sweetheart mortgages I hear so much in the news about). Then they decide whether you are approved, or not, and then you are required to pay back the bank with interest.

When your average person invests in the stock market, companies take your money and, in some cases, pay you dividends on your money. In other cases, they lose it and they don't have to give you back anything. I guess I just don't understand how that is fair.

Short of burying my money in a coffee can in the yard, I really don't know how to invest safely and receive the best return on my money.

But I don't need to panic.

"Knock, knock, knock."

Who is it?

"We're from the government. We're here to help."

Well thank God! The government, in all its wisdom, has bailed out the banks and the system that I still don't understand!

This is irony. Congress said recently, "The days of getting money just for the asking are over!" And then they asked for and somehow got $700 billion.

The reason for the financial problem is simple. Not only is the United States deep in debt, but the federal government itself has access to far less than the $700 billion it has promised. In fact, right now the federal government only has like $51.75 in the bank. Think of the overdraft charges they are going to get on a $700 billion check!

AIG was given $85 billion dollars as well. They're going to get another $35 billion in assistance. Upon this news, their executives followed through with a planned retreat and spent $440,000 at some luxurious spa. Saturday Night Live said it best, "That was kind of like learning of grandma's death, but still having her birthday party three days later!"

We should treat the federal government like I treat my college student daughter. I put a certain amount of money on her debit card every week. If she spends it all before the next deposit, tough. If she has a surplus, good for her!

Well, at least we have someone to blame in all this mess. According to Democrats, it's the Republicans who are to blame and according to the Republicans, it's the Democrats who are to blame. That clears things up for me.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 13, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I'm taking a break from writing this week and giving up my space for a very important announcement about Breast Cancer.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I applaud the efforts of the folks at the Shaggy Shack for their efforts to raise awareness and money for cancer research. I hope you'll take the time to read the story on the main page and the story below.

Have a great week!

American Cancer Society encourages women to take charge of their breast health

Early Detection is Key in Reducing Breast Cancer Deaths

October 6, 2008 – As the nation marks the annual National Breast Cancer Awareness Month this October, the American Cancer Society is encouraging women to fight breast cancer by taking charge of their personal breast health and supporting efforts against the disease. The Society is reminding women 40 and older about the importance of getting a mammogram annually to detect breast cancer in its earliest, most treatable stage. An estimated 182,460 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to occur among women in the U.S. in 2008, and about 40,480 deaths are expected.

Studies clearly show that early detection of breast cancer through mammography greatly improves treatment options, the chances for successful treatment and survival. Early-stage breast cancer typically produces no symptoms when the tumor is small and most treatable, so it is important that women follow recommended guidelines for finding breast cancer before the symptoms develop. On average, mammography will detect about 80 percent to 90 percent of breast cancers in women without symptoms.

"Survival rates for breast cancer are significantly higher when the cancer has not spread," said Kirsten Bruce, manager, health initiative field support, at the American Cancer Society. "Numerous studies have shown that early detection increases treatment options and can save lives. That is why it is so important for women 40 and older to get an annual mammogram."

The American Cancer Society recommends yearly mammograms and clinical breast exams for women 40 and older and a clinical breast examination at least once every three years for women between the ages of 20 and 39. The Society also recommends magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) for certain women at high risk. Women at moderate risk should talk with their doctors about the benefits and limitations of adding MRI screening to their yearly mammogram.

While we do not yet know how to prevent breast cancer, we do know that women who maintain a healthy weight, eat a well-balanced diet, and are physically active 45 to 60 minutes on five or more days of the week can reduce their risk of breast cancer. Also, limiting alcohol consumption can reduce breast cancer risk – two or more drinks a day may increase breast cancer risk by 21 percent.

The American Cancer Society and its partner advocacy organization, the American Cancer Society Cancer Action NetworkSM (ACS CAN), continue to engage in activities to increase funding for the National Breast and Cervical Cancer Early Detection Program (NBCCEDP). This important program provides low-income, uninsured and underinsured women access to mammograms, Pap tests, follow-up care and treatment when needed. Current funding only enables the program to serve one in five eligible women ages 50 to 64 nationwide, and for the first time since the program's inception, fewer women are now being served due to flat funding rates and cuts in funding over the past five years.

This lifesaving program cannot be fully realized if eligible women can not get early detection tests due to insufficient funding. ACS CAN encourages anyone touched by this disease to let Congress know that support for the NBCCEDP is important and that an increase in funding for this program, to $250 million this year, is vital to its continuation. The faster members of Congress make their commitment of support, the better the program can serve more of our mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. To get involved, or to learn more about this effort, please visit http://www.acscan.org/makingstrides.

The American Cancer Society has invested more than $352 million in breast cancer research grants since 1972, and has been an important part of nearly every major breast cancer research breakthrough of the past century, including the use of tamoxifen to reduce the risk of first or second breast cancer occurrences. The American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network is also active in the fight against breast cancer, mobilizing more than 100,000 volunteers to defeat legislation that would have allowed insurance companies to remove laws guaranteeing cancer screening coverage for women who need it. ACS CAN continues to support legislation that would improve the quality of treatment for breast cancer patients and the quality of life for breast cancer survivors.

The American Cancer Society is dedicated to eliminating cancer as a major health problem by saving lives, diminishing suffering, and preventing cancer through research, education, advocacy, and service. Founded in 1913 and with national headquarters in Atlanta, the Society has 13 regional Divisions and local offices in 3,400 communities, involving millions of volunteers across the United States. For more information anytime, call toll free 1-800-ACS-2345 or visit www.cancer.org.

ACS CAN is the nonprofit, nonpartisan partner advocacy organization of the American Cancer Society, dedicated to eliminating cancer as a major health problem. ACS CAN works to encourage lawmakers, candidates and government officials to support laws and policies that will make cancer a top national priority. ACS CAN gives ordinary people extraordinary power to fight cancer. For more information, visit www.acscan.org.

 

KWIBS - From October 6, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I love a good rock concert. I've paid as much as $150 for a ticket to see the Eagles live back in 2000. That's a lot of money to see a concert, but nothing compared to a ticket to see Billy Joel and Bruce Springsteen together.

The entry level tickets are $500 and if you want, you can pay as much as $10,000 to the benefit concert.

Who doesn't love a good benefit concert? Raising money for things like fighting disease, hunger, poverty, saving the planet are all worthy causes.

But this concert isn't about saving anything. It's an Obama fund-raiser.

That's right.

"The Piano Man" and "The Boss", are joining forces to raise money for Obama's campaign.

Obama plans to attend the musical fund-raisers at Hammerstein Ballroom on Oct. 16, the day after Obama's final debate with John McCain at Hofstra University, located several miles outside the city in Hempstead, N.Y.

Good ole Obama - just your regular guy - like everyone can afford $10,000 for a concert ticket.

Is this concert even worth $500? Are you kidding me? WHO in the "middle class", as Obama keeps saying he represents, can afford that? The middle class will not be seeing this concert - only all of those "horrible" people who made more than 250K that Obama wants to tax.

Fortunately for me, these are two of my least favorite artists - EVER. I won't be attending, and it's not just because I can't afford it. It makes me ill to think about any artists gathering to raise money for politics. Poor Obama only raised just over $64 million in the past month.

Of course this is almost as sad as listening to McCain belt out "Bomb-bomb-bomb... bomb-bomb Iran".

? ? ? ?

The Republican National Committee did have a little fun with the Springsteen-Joel concert announcement last Tuesday, at Obama's expense.

"While John McCain is working to bring Republicans and Democrats together, Barack Obama was working to bring rock stars together," RNC spokesman Alex Conant said.

? ? ? ?

Thank God none of the bands I really like care much about stuff like this.

I wish rock stars would come together for worthy causes - not to get a candidate elected. Maybe I could organize some benefits.....,

- "The Cure and Asia - Bailing Out The Banks - 2008"

- "Heart for Hurricane Victims"

- "Fat Boy Slim against Hunger"

- "Big and Rich against Poverty"

- "Britney Spears' `Toxic' - China's Milk and Toys Tour"

- "Duran Duran against Iran"

- "REM's `It's The End Of The World As We Know It' - N. Korean Nuclear benefit"

- "The Beatles `Back in the USSR' - rebuilding Russia's empire - world tour opening in The Republic of Georgia"

- "Snoop Dog for the humane treatment of animals - Special Guest: The Stray Cats"

- "Huey Lewis & The News for unbiased reporting"

- "Simple Plan - to fix our economic problems followed by The All American Rejects"

- "Bon Jovi - 'Wanted Dead Or Alive' find Osama Bin Laden Tour."

- "The Kinks, working out problems in Congress"

- "The Clash `Should I Stay Or Should I Go Now', Iraq 2008 tour"

I could only hope that we all agree that we should leave politics to the politicians and music to the musicians.

So, what am I listening to on my Ipod?

Ironically.....

"The Presidents of the United States of America". Yes, it's a real band and I really like them. You can visit their website and listen to their silly music at www.presidentsrock.com.

Have a great week - Republicans and Democrats alike!

 

KWIBS - From September 29, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Several folks called me last week concerning an editorial that was written by J.W. Keene, Editor of the Index.

Thursday, September 18, Keene made it clear how he feels about the upcoming bond proposed by the hospitals of Barber County in his column "Another View".

Keene seems to focus his column on the expense and operation of these facilities and the communities' need (or lack thereof) for two hospitals in our county.

He says we should, "flip a coin" and shut down one of the old facilities, in either community and build one new hospital instead of two - with a transfer station, or clinic in the other community.

In October of 2005, I had blockage in my heart that caused me to have an (acute) myocardial infarction, or heart attack. My condition, so rare for my age, was difficult to diagnose and I only had minutes before I was in serious trouble. If not for the doctor and staff at MLMH, I would have died.

I'm grateful that I did not end up at a transfer station where I would have been shipped to another facility to be evaluated again and sent on to another facility. A possible transfer I would have gotten, if Mr. Keene's option was a reality, was a transfer to the mortuary. I was given big-city care in my small-town hospital and I'm alive today to write about it.

We're very fortunate to have competent staff in both Kiowa and Medicine Lodge. I know that neither community would be in favor of giving up its hospital.

So, I do understand the importance of having good health care facilities in my community. It is not only a crucial service for our citizens, but it provides jobs to many families in our county. I guess if we took Mr. Keene's advice, we could shut one hospital down, lay off 30-50 people and have them move away. The schools would lose additional students and their homes would become empty. What would that do to our tax base over 20 years? Heck, maybe we could just shut the entire county down and we could all move to Pratt.....

I've lived here for 36 years. I own commercial and real estate property in Barber County and I pay my taxes, as painful as they are, just like many of you. I don't pretend to like it and I certainly am not in favor of a "bridge to nowhere" project.

But I don't believe that is what we're talking about here.

We're talking about fixing aging hospital facilities and a future investment in our communities. We have seen progress, despite tough economic times. For example, we have a booming oil industry and the new wind farm is bringing money to our local economy. Yes, our population is aging, but this is another reason we should be investing in our county's health infrastructure.

I don't believe that Barber County's hospital future should be left to a coin toss, especially at the suggestion of someone who:

a) doesn't even live in Barber County

b) doesn't own any personal property in Barber County that I am aware of

c) works for a company that doesn't own any real estate in Barber County and contributes very little to the tax base or the local economy for that matter. I'll take that one step further. The Index, who Mr. Keene so boldly writes for, isn't even owned by a Kansas corporation.

I'm also a parent of a college student. I'm neither in the medical field or associated with one or both of the hospitals in question.

"....a legal way to stuff the ballot box...." His comments about parents escorting their college students in for absentee ballots were snide. My daughter has lived here for 18 years and stands to one day inherit oil royalties and property in Barber County.

Even though she is currently away at college, she has every right to vote on an important issue that will directly effect what she will one day pay in taxes. Her address is Medicine Lodge. She was born at the Medicine Lodge Memorial Hospital and went to school here for 12 years. So proponents take note. Your children do have the right to vote - for or against this issue.

Finally Mr. Keene, I offer you the following suggestions:

a) move here, pay taxes here and we'd love to hear your opinion on our community

b) have your company make an actual contribution to this community - rather than take any profit it makes and send it on to an out-of-town, out-of-state owned corporation

c) Pass or fail, leave it to the constituents of Barber County.

Respectfully, Kevin Noland

 

KWIBS - From September 22, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

If two-ply toilet paper is good, then three-ply tissue must be better. At least that's what toilet-paper researchers in northeastern Wisconsin hope.

Yes, there is such a thing as a toilet-paper researcher. And a team of them at Georgia Pacific's Innovation Institute in Neenah has come up with a three-ply version of its Quilted Northern product.

The new product will be launched Monday. The company touts the toilet tissue as "ultra-soft" and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a "sanctuary for quality time."

Industry analyst Bill Schmitz is skeptical. He said extra layers make toilet paper stronger, not softer, although he said Georgia Pacific may have added extra fibers for softness

How nice, now Exploration Place can have better TP to go with their "poop" exhibit!

That's right, I said "poop" exhibit.....

The sign announcing Exploration Place's newest exhibit features a silhouette of an African hyena at sunset squatting and ........ taking a dump!

Poop.

Manure.

Crap.

Go ahead and giggle, says Christina Bluml, communications manager for the museum.

It's a common reaction to "The Scoop on Poop," a traveling exhibit based on the book by science writer Wayne Lynch. It opened at the museum Saturday.

"The Scoop on Poop: The Science of What Animals Leave Behind" provides a look at the sometimes disgusting, often fascinating world of animal excrement.

If you've never taken in an exhibit at The Exporation Place, it's worth a trip.

Sean McAnarney, my son Joey and I recently went to the "Our Body: The Universe Within," which opened in May at the science center and was scheduled to end Oct. 12. Now the world-famous but somewhat controversial exhibit has been extended through Jan. 11.

I was impressed with the exhibit and a little bit grossed out, but not as grossed out as my son who finished the $25 tour in less than 10 minutes, keeping his eyes to the floor through the maze of body parts. Joey was a nice shade of greenish-white after Sean and I spent about an hour and a half touring the exhibit.

"Our Body" includes 17 full bodies and 150 body parts with cutaway views to allow peeks into the human body's systems -- skeletal, muscular, nervous, digestive, respiratory, cardiovascular, urinary, endocrine and reproductive.

Trust me, unless you are a doctor, medical student or a pathologist, you've never seen the human body like this. A couple of words of advice: 1) Eat before you go, you may not be hungry afterwards and 2) No cell phones, cameras or recording devices inside the exhibit. They mean this and if your phone is out, you will be asked to leave the exhibit. It's out of respect for those who have donated their bodies to this exhibit.

On it's worst day, the exhibit has attracted 150 people- impressive, considering that this is the Exploration Place's priciest exhibit ever at $25 a pop (That made it like a $125 an hour for Joey's tour).

But can the poop exhibit attract more than just flies?

"The Scoop on Poop" leads visitors on an investigation of what poop is and how animals use it -- to build homes, hide from enemies, send messages, cool off and attract mates. It also explores the way wildlife conservationists, paleontologists, farmers, Maasai people and others make use of animal waste.

Turns out, you can learn a lot about an animal by examining what it leaves behind, but I'll bet it's hard to do it with a straight face.

So the exhibit claims it packages its science with hearty doses of humor -- euphemisms, sound effects, even smell effects -- but nothing outrageously gross or offensive, unlike my column.

I, being a guy, am fascinated by the subject matter, but have little interest in paying $8 to view excrement, but that probably won't stop the general public's view of the fun topic - #2.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 15, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

In an effort to finding a cause that no one has yet championed, I am going black!

No, not green, black.

For some time now we earthlings have been cluttering up outer space with our litter and not many are paying attention to the damage we are doing to our own orbit.

While we're all busy trying to save the planet from our wasteful habits, we're shooting thousands of objects into our atmosphere every year that could one day rain down on us in fiery destruction or worse, take out our satellite TV. Frightening, isn't it?

We've ignored this problem for far too long and I call on people like Al Gore and Barb Keltner to take a stand against orbiting trash!

But what can we do?

First, we will need some sort of spokesman or mascot. I have a vision of a commercial. In this commercial is an astronaut on a space walk. The camera pans to his face. He lifts his helmet's shield and is seen with a tear in his eye as a space shuttle flies by and another astronaut is throwing trash out the window.

According to studies, nearly 10,000 pieces of space litter were catalogued at the end of 2008. They break into the following categories:

* 40% -- miscellaneous fragments

* 22% -- old spacecraft

* 13% -- mission related objects

* 7% -- operational spacecraft

* 7% -- rocket bodies

* 1% -- McDonald's styrofoam coffee cups

We've been trashing space around our planet since the 1950s and it's an "out of sight - out of mind" mentality.

My wife would say, "If you are done using that satellite in outer space and want to put a new one up there, you should take the old one down first."

Earth has probably been visited by extraterrestrials who thought we were just too messy to make contact with! Or maybe they made the attempt to visit our planet, but were killed by garbage that struck their space ships at some 17,000 m.p.h.

It's not bad enough that we're leaving trash in space. Now countries are turning space into a shooting gallery and making smaller, faster moving pieces of trash for future generations to contend with. For example, China recently shot down a weather satellite that orbited almost 500 miles above the earth.

The worst part about this, though, is that we are now one step closer to seeing the Kessler Syndrome start to manifest itself. The Kessler Syndrome is basically an orbital doomsday scenario that cuts off mankind’s access to space for thousands of years. The way it works is, some random collision occurs, creating many bits of space debris in orbit. These debris, in turn, end up hitting other things, shredding them, creating even more debris, in a Domino-like fashion.

Eventually, everything in orbit is utterly destroyed, and the space around Earth is so polluted with space junk that it is impossible to even launch anything anymore, as it would be destroyed by random impacts almost immediately upon exiting the atmosphere.

The scary thing is, the Kessler syndrome is already possible with the current amount of hardware we have in space. Luckily, almost all of it is up there in large controlled chunks, but all it could take is one apocalyptic collision to set a terrible chain of events into motion.

Once the Kessler Syndrome takes effect, the only solution with current technology is to wait it out, letting the space debris hit each other, lose momentum, and gradually burn up in the atmosphere. The process takes thousands of years before low orbit is safe to travel again.

So the next time you see trash, and do pick it up, think about the clutter in space and think about the future generations of young astronauts that probably will only dream of the days that we could go into outer space.

And think about that astronaut with the tear in his eye.

Have a great week and SAVE OUTER SPACE!

KWIBS - From September 8, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Last week we brought you a feature on Kali Thompson, a 7th grader at MLMS who has decided to play football on the boys' football team.

I congratulate her courage and desire to play the game.

We've tossed around the subject of mixing gender in boys' and girls' sports here in our office this week.

We don't all agree.

But since none of the others in my office have a column space this week, you get to hear my opinion!

I'm all about equal rights for everyone. I mean everyone, but let's not take it too far. This young lady wants to play football. I think there is probably a place on the team for her, but I question how this will promote fair competition in school sports and what it teaches our children.

Whether she provides an advantage or a disadvantage to the team, she's changed the rules of play.

What if we were to reverse roles here? What would happen if a few boys wanted to play girls' volleyball? Would that be okay? Do we now disrupt the normal procedure for all sports and activities in our district to allow cross gender competition?

Already there are issues with allowing Kali to play football. She obviously can't shower with the other boys. Special accommodations will need to be provided to meet her needs.

This is just one of many problems I can see, but it's really not my point.

In communities where there are no other sports offered to girls, I can see girls and boys playing together on the same team - as long as they are playing other teams that are equally balanced with both boys and girls. You see this a lot in the smaller city recreation leagues for games like soccer  and flag football.

America is becoming gender challenged. Take for example the Park Day School of Oakland.

Teachers at the private Oakland elementary school have stopped asking the children to line up according to sex when walking to and from class. They now let boys play girls and girls play boys in skits. And there's a unisex bathroom.

Park Day's gender-neutral metamorphosis happened over the past few years, as applications began coming in for kindergartners who claim they didn't fit on either side of the gender line. One girl enrolled as a boy, and there were other children who didn't dress or act in gender-typical ways. Last year the school hired a consultant to help the staff accommodate these new students.

I hate to sound old fashioned, but this wasn't a problem when I was in school. We didn't need consultants to tell teachers how to deal with being a boy or being a girl. If you weren't sure you were a boy or a girl, the school nurse could tell you.

I realize we live in a more "sensitive" society now, but I don't believe that we should put gender-challenged kids in the same category as special needs students, such as those in wheel chairs. Spending thousands of dollars of taxpayer money to put in a special bathroom for Billy, because he doesn't know if he should stand up or sit down when he uses the toilet, is ridiculous in my opinion! (Start your hate mail here...)

God created man and woman and they are very different. That's evident in nature and offering special treatment and preference to those who feel "out of place" with God-given organs discriminates against everyone else.

I haven't taken the time to sit down and ask Kali, her team mates, her coach or any other faculty or school board official about their feelings on this subject. Everyone may be fine with her playing football. Or maybe everyone is so timid these days that they are afraid of possibility of legal action if she's not allowed to play.

My column absolutely does not question Kali being gender challenged either. I think she just wanted to play football. Unfortunately, we didn't have a girls' football team and there isn't one in the league.

Sadly, I think it's a small step towards complacency and giving in to social acceptance. I assume that years ago the girls volleyball team was created for girls as a way to include girls in sports during football season. I hope we'll have enough girls to keep a team one day in the future.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From September 2, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I love to go fishing, but I rarely have a good time doing it.

This is one category of my life where I would be stripped of my "father of the year" badge and flogged publicly for my lack of patience if judged.

If I even so much as utter the word "fishing" my kids will go crazy. They love to fish too. Actually, they love the idea of fishing. My boys will spend hours organizing their lures in their tackle boxes and setting up their poles for the big event.

Every fishing experience we have ever had together has ended in disaster, but for some reason, I still make the attempt to have the perfect fishing experience with them.

Joey is almost 16 now and he can pretty much handle himself with baiting, catching and releasing, but if he doesn't catch something within 10 minutes, he's bored and throwing things in the water, scaring off the fish. Nicholas, who is 10, still thinks he needs dad's assistance at baiting the hook, and releasing the fish (if and when caught) and pretty much everything else involved with fishing. Nicholas will marathon fish even if he doesn't catch anything. He will however, change what he's fishing with every other cast and if I don't put the lure on his pole for him, I can pretty much count on it being lost on the first cast.

Last Tuesday Kenny Joe Rinke wanted to go fishing and I decided that since I live 30 yards from a pond, I should probably invite him. Of course, I needed to bring the boys (including Frank, our AFS student from China).

We loaded up the boys, the poles, the tackle and the dog and drove around to the backside of the pond to get ourselves set up. I hadn't been fishing all year and since we'd had so much rain, the pond was overgrown with brush and was difficult to access from the bank on that side.

We had to spend a few minutes tutoring Frank on the fishing pole's operations, but within a few casts he'd figured it out and was just thrilled to cast and have his lure actually land in the water and not in a tree.

We decided to walk around to the other side, closer to our house, where we could actually walk up to the water's edge. To get there, we had to cross through the Amazon jungle. Nicholas and I were in sandals and now covered with chigger bites. The bug spray was back in the truck.

So far, so good.

Joey fished for about ten minutes, didn't get a bite and was bored. He started throwing stuff and caught dragon flies with the fishing net. He walked back to the truck to take a nap.

Nicholas had me rebaiting his hook every five minutes and then broke his pole. He was frustrated because he was itchy and didn't want to walk clear back to the truck to get another pole.

By this time Kenny Joe had caught about 7 bass and was having a great time. I had cast maybe 3 times and had caught nothing. He could see I wasn't having much fun and he put his pole down and opened his tackle box to get me one of his "prize" lures.

At that moment, my dog decided to check out what he was doing and tripped over his fishing pole. The lure hooked him on the right shoulder and he took off running through the trees with my buddy's fishing pole dragging behind him.

Kenny Joe caught up with the pole and attempted to reel in my German Shepherd, Hyde. Hyde zigzagged through some trees and I yelled at Kenny Joe to break the line before he webbed himself in there.

He broke the line and we caught up to my scared dog, who was all tangled up in the trees. Hyde had been hooked pretty good. It was all the way through with the barb poking out the other side. Attempts at pulling the hook back through were futile and only resulted in me getting bit three times.

After getting the dog calmed down, we found some side cutters and we were able to cut the barb off and pull it back through. The dog was fine and we picked up Kenny Joe's pole and went back to fishing.

I had not even cast my pole once and the reel snapped off the pole. I couldn't believe this was happening.

Kenny Joe was up to 10 fish at this point and I was trampling back through the jungle to find another fishing pole, swatting off gnats and other flying, biting insects.

By the time I got there, it was dark, but I could hear laughter coming from at least one of the boys. It was Frank.

Frank was just thrilled to be casting. He didn't catch a thing, but was happy to just make the lure go in the pond.

I am thinking he almost had the perfect fishing experience, less the actual catching the fish part......

Fishing stats:

Fish Bites Lures Broken Poles Trees

Kenny Joe - 10 25 3 0 0

Kevin 0 3 3 1 1

Nicholas - 0 0 30 1 0

Joey - 0 0 2 0 0

Frank 0 1 1 0 4

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 25, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Sunday was a bitter sweet day for Ronda and I and the family.

We packed up my daughter's belongings and moved her to the dorms at PCC. She's now a full time student, living on campus away from home. We realize it's only 30 miles away, but it might as well be a world away.

We helped her unload, went to lunch, an orientation for the parents and then went back to her room to say good-bye. I hugged her and reminded her that we were close if she needed anything and to have fun, but to remember that she was there to be a student and to make good grades.

As we were leaving the dorms Breeann had a sad look on her face.

"Dad, will you call me around 10 p.m. tonight," she asked?

I got a little choked up, hugged her again and we left for home. I couldn't help but think about my little girl sitting on the floor of her dorm room unpacking her things all alone.

Breeann's roommate won't be on campus until late September because she's in the Army, but she has two other girls that share the bathroom in the connecting room.

I watched the clock all day long and paced around waiting for 10 p.m. I wasn't going to call her a minute earlier. Finally, the time was right for my supportive phone call.

It rang, and it rang and it rang. No answer. I tried the dorm room and still no answer.

About ten minutes passed and my phone received a text message.

"Sorry Dad, real busy. Having fun with my new friends. Talk to you tomorrow."

Her home sickness lasted all of about 30 minutes that day. We're so happy that she's having fun.

She called on Monday to tell me that she was doing great, slept well and loved being in College. I told her I missed her and she cut me off saying, "I've got to go Dad, me and my friends are going to a picnic!"

Shortly after hanging up the phone I received another call. The lady on the phone said her name was Peggy Schneider with AFS.

"Kevin, I got your name from John Nixon," she said.

I just groaned.

We had discussed taking an exchange student for the 2009-2010 school year. Our plan was to "take a year off" after getting Breeann off to college.

Peggy explained that she had four students from various countries that did not get placed in homes and since she knew that we were interested in hosting, she wondered if we would take a student.

I politely told her "no".

"Can I at least send you their profiles," she asked?

This is where I could have said no, but I didn't. And now we have a new son and brother, Haiji Wang, or "Frank" as he would like to be called.

It's been a whirlwind week for us. After receiving our daughter's blessing, we had phone interviews, forms to fill out and then an orientation about the AFS program. Frank moved into our home on Wednesday evening and enrolled in school on Thursday morning.

Medicine Lodge is hosting 4 exchange students this year and we'll feature each one of them: Simon, Alex ( this is starting out to sound like the line up of the chipmunks) Manuel and Haiji or "Frank". This week, we'll introduce you to Simon who is from Switzerland and is staying with John Nixon (who indiscriminately gives out people's cell phone numbers.)

I wish I could tell you all about Frank, but we just met Wednesday evening. I can tell you he is from China, speaks very good English and is very, very intelligent. His father is a sea captain and his mother is an accountant. Some of his classes include Physics, Chemistry, Advanced Art and he's taking an upper-level math course. Frank is polite, struggles with combination locks and has a good sense of humor. We're excited to learn about another culture and share in the experience of AFS.

I'll deal with John later.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 18, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

This week our family was busy with moving. No, we're not moving. My daughter is.

Breeann has moved to her new home, which is in a dorm room at PCC in Pratt, KS. It's not too far away, but she's no longer home with her mom and dad and brothers. Her brothers aren't complaining, but I'm sure we're all going to miss her.

I sort of feel like the papa bird taking my young chick over the edge of the nest and dropping her (I know, it's usually the mom bird). She'll either have to learn to fly or she'll hit the ground. Oh wait, maybe there's a point to this story that her mother and I are supposed to catch her before she hits the ground!

Anyway, it's an overwhelming experience to have a child leave home.

Breeann is studying Elementary Education. She wants to be a school teacher one day. Study hard, Breeann. You can do it!

Summer break is over and school is back in session. It seems like it went so fast. I want to welcome back all of the students and faculty of USD# 254. We have a lot of new faces in the district. Be sure you stop and make them feel welcome when you see them.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 11, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Special delivery!

SEATTLE - A 6-foot-tall, 250-pound letter carrier is campaigning for the right to take off his pants. Dean Peterson wants the U.S. Postal Service to add kilts as a uniform option for men.

The idea was soundly defeated in July at a convention of his union, the 220,000-member National Letter Carriers' Association, so Peterson knows convincing management will be an uphill struggle, but at least he'll be comfortable in his kilt, or Male Unbifurcated Garment.

"In one word, it's comfort," he said.

With his build, Peterson said, his thighs fill slacks to capacity, causing chafing and scarring.

And nobody likes chafing and scarring.

Peterson, 48, has Finnish and Norwegian ancestry but not Scottish. He began wearing kilts a couple years ago when his wife brought one back from a trip to Scotland. (A spokeswoman for Britain's Royal Mail said kilts are not allowed as part of its letter carrier uniforms.)

Now Peterson wears them everywhere - to one son's football games, the other son's concerts, shopping and gardening.

"It's the difference between wearing jammies to bed and wearing your work clothes to bed," he said.

Before the convention in Boston, Peterson spent his family's $1,800 economic stimulus tax rebate to mail about 1,000 letters and photographs of him wearing a prototype Postal Service kilt to union branches in every state, Guam and Puerto Rico.

I'm sure that's not what President Bush had in mind to stimulate the economy, but oh well...

"Unbifurcated Garments are far more comfortable and suitable to male anatomy than trousers or shorts because they don't confine the legs or cramp the male genitals the way that trousers or shorts do," he wrote. "Please open your hearts - and inseams - for an option in mail carrier comfort!"

The union's executive committee recommended disapproval, saying there was not enough demand for kilts to be worth the bother of the resolution, and delegates agreed by a large margin.

But Peterson said there are plenty of approved uniform items that very few mail carriers wear, including a cardigan sweater, vest and pith helmet.

Correct me if I am wrong but I think Medicine Lodge actually has a carrier that wears a pith helmet.

Peterson said many convention delegates did express support after his resolution was voted down.

"I got so pumped up after being at such a low that I'm taking this to the next convention in 2010 in Anaheim, Calif.," he said.

You go.... girl, I mean guy.

The writer of KWIBS actually owns a kilt, has worn a kilt several times in public (don't ask, don't tell) and fully supports Peterson's ambitious efforts to make kilts part of the USPS dress code.

? ? ? ?

This kind of stuff just doesn't happen to the chess club.....

26 teen cheerleaders rescued from crammed elevator

AUSTIN, Texas - How many cheerleaders can cram into an elevator? Apparently not 26. A group of teenage girls attending a cheerleading camp on the University of Texas got stuck and had to be rescued after trying to squeeze into an elevator at a residence hall Tuesday night.

One girl fainted and was treated at a hospital and released. Two others were treated at the scene.

The elevator doors refused to open after the pack of 14- to 17-year-olds descended from the fourth to the first floor, police said. Responding to a few panicked cell phone calls from the group, police and firefighters summoned an elevator repairman, who spent about 25 minutes extricating them.

Campus officials weren't amused.

"It's dangerous, actually," said a school police spokeswoman, Rhonda Weldon. "They're lucky that that's all that happened."

I wonder if this was the "male" yell leader's idea????

 

KWIBS - From August 4, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

The power of prayer....

Two prayer services were held at St. Louis gas stations to thank God for lower fuel prices and to ask that they continue to drop. Darrell Alexander, Midwest co-chair of the Pray at the Pump movement, says prayer gatherings will be held Monday afternoon and evening at a Mobil station west of downtown St. Louis.

Participants say they plan to buy gas, pray and then sing "We Shall Overcome" with a new verse, "We'll have lower gas prices."

An activist from the Washington D.C. area, Rocky Twyman, started the effort, saying if politicians couldn't lower gas prices, it was time to ask God to intervene.

The group thinks the prayer is helping, saying prices are starting to fall below $4 a gallon.

And I love my job, but not that much.....

Jeff Hornagold loved being a UPS driver.

So when the suburban Chicago man died this week of lung cancer, longtime co-worker Michael McGowan agreed to take him on one last delivery.

McGowan transported Hornagold's body from Davenport Family Funeral Home to Saturday's funeral services in his UPS truck.

McGowan says he plans to keep a picture of Hornagold in his truck until he retires so that they can keep riding together.

Hornagold was a UPS driver for 20 years, and his wife Judy Hornagold described him as "just the happiest UPS man alive."

She says the special delivery was the perfect tribute.

I just wonder who signed for that?

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 28, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Something happened to me. I can't explain it. I don't know if it was a mid-life crisis or some chemical imbalance, but my priorities changed.

For those that know me, you remember me in my youth as the long haired hippy kid that rode a Harley and played in a rock band on the weekends.

Earlier this year, I sold the Harley. It was something I hated to do, but felt that it was the right thing to do in this time of my life.

The band went into retirement almost a year ago now and I've had to readjust my weekend life. It's usually filled up with writing bail bonds, running sound for different events, going to the lake, going to church and my new favorite hobby: mowing the grass.

I used to hate mowing. In fact, when Ronda was pregnant with our first child she had asked me to mow the grass one day. I didn't want to mow the grass. I wanted to go fishing and then ride Harleys with my buddy.

She got so angry at me that she decided to mow it herself. She didn't know how to start the old mower I had, so she got an extension cord and dug out an old electric mower and proceeded to mow our 2 acre lot with it.

A very short time into her mowing project, she saw a small snake. Hating snakes, the 7 month pregnant angry wife decided to kill the snake with the electric lawn mower. She chased it into a couple of circles and ran over the extension cord, causing sparks to fly and the grass to catch on fire.

She's never mowed since and I've never asked her to.

How I went from motorcycles to mowers, I'll never know. Recently I spent hours upon hours researching ZTR mowers (that's zero turning radius mowers for those of you unschooled mower people). There are lots of brands and lots of options to consider. They range in price from as little as $2,000 all the way up to $20,000.

When I began my research, I had only a couple of things I wanted: A comfortable seat and a cup holder. As I started digging a little deeper I discovered I needed more than a 42" cut, less than a 60" cut, a stamped deck, not a forged one, powerful hydrostat drive motors, at least a 20 hp engine and preferably a three blade, belt driven deck.

I was driving my wife crazy.

"Hey honey, here's an ad for a 'Big Dog' mower," I'd say.

"It has........." As soon as I would start rattling off the specifications, she would interrupt and say, "I don't care what it has in it. How much?"

Only $9999.00!

The look she gave me told me I wasn't getting that.

I won't tell you what I paid for my Hustler FasTrack, but I will tell you it was three times as much as my first car and $12,000 less than my last Harley cost.

I didn't have anyone to talk to about my mower fetish. Nobody in my family would give me the time of day.

Then one day Joey had his friend, Oliver Rutan, come over to spend the night. Oliver, who is 15, has his own lawn care business and has some pretty sharp (no pun intended) mowing inventory.

I took Oliver into the garage to show him the mower and an hour later, Joey was begging his friend to come downstairs to play video games.

"Dad, get your own friends," he snapped.

So the next evening I finished up some mowing around the entrance to our property and then decided to drive the mower over to my neighbor's house, John Nixon, and show him the new "Man Machine."

John checked it over, I gave him a quick lesson on operating the mower and he took off. Only he took off as fast as the mower would go with the deck engaged. John mowed his grass, the driveway, a trash dumpster and a small tree before I got him to realize that it would go slower if he wouldn't push the handles so far forward.

I took the mower home where I've turned my yard into a golf resort.

I seriously don't know what happened to me. I was once the care free guy with my hair blowing in the breeze in a leather jacket. Now I am the old guy in flip flops and socks with safety glasses on yelling at the kids to get off his yard.

 

KWIBS - From July 21, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

It was one of those newsy weeks that I couldn't pass up. Perhaps it was the full moon.

Seattle's five problem-plagued public toilets could be yours if you're flush with cash....

You might remember the city installed some self-cleaning toilets a while back. I guess it didn't work out so well. City officials decided to pull the plug on the multimillion-dollar self-cleaning toilet stalls and instead put them on the auction site eBay.

Starting bids are $89,000 apiece.

Neighbors and city-commissioned analysts said the unisex facilities attracted drug users and prostitutes, and were less cost-effective than regular public restrooms.

On May 19, the City Council voted to remove the problem toilets. Council President Richard Conlin said although people were using the high-tech, self-cleaning silver stalls, they also fostered illegal behavior, such as prostitution and drug use.

The German-made automatic, high-tech toilets were installed in 2004 and have cost the city about $5 million. Each has handsfree washing and drying ability and an emergency button that automatically dials 911.

The automated doors on the impact- and graffiti-resistant toilets will close Aug. 1, said Andy Ryan, a spokesman for Seattle Public Utilities. The auction will last for 10 days.

As of Thursday morning, none of the toilets had received any bids.

? ? ? ?

A 29-year-old man accused of stealing a bicycle in Boston's North End tried to complete his own version of a triathlon to get away from police.

Police said Jason Duncan of Somerville rode the bike onto the North Washington Street Bridge, jumped off the bridge into Boston Harbor and swam to shore when they tried to arrest him Tuesday night.

He then ran down a harbor walkway before being caught.

Suffolk County District Attorney's spokesman Jake Wark says Duncan pleaded not guilty Wednesday in Boston Municipal Court to one count of larceny over $250. Bail was set at $500.

? ? ? ?

An intruder who broke into a Colorado Springs electronics store won't face any charges, even if authorities can find the culprit. Seems no one wants to poke an angry bear.

Colorado Springs police confirm it was a bear who broke a sliding glass door at a Circuit City store Tuesday morning, then went inside to a customer waiting area where surveillance cameras recorded its every move.

The scared bear then ran back out the same broken glass door and headed for a tree.

Authorities say the young adult black bear had become spooked after setting off an alarm at a nearby Fazoli's restaurant.

Circuit City supervisor Dawn Greene joked that the bear probably wanted a new 72-inch LCD-screen television.

No one was hurt, except, perhaps, for the bear.

? ? ? ?

A man says he was so consumed by the spirit of God that he fell and hit his head while worshipping.

Now he wants Lakewind Church to pay $2.5 million for medical bills, lost income, and pain and suffering.

Matt Lincoln says he is suing after the church's insurance company denied his claim for medical bills.

The 57-year-old has had two surgeries since the June 2007 injury but still feels pain in his back and legs.

He says he was asking God to have "a real experience" while praying.

Lincoln says he has fallen from the force of the spirit before but has always been caught by someone.

Lawyers for the church say other congregants saw him on the floor laughing after his fall. They say he failed to look out for his own safety.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 14, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I love the 4th of July holiday, I just hate buying fireworks. I always tell my kids, "We should just put money in a paper sack and light it on fire because that's what it is - money up in flames."

OK, maybe it's not as pretty when you light a bag full of money, but you know what I am saying.

Now with that said, I have no problem watching other folks burn their money on the 4th. In fact, I encourage that. It saves me a little money.

It's a funny holiday. One 4th of July, I got an invitation to watch someone shooting off their fireworks near our home. I thought to myself, do I really need an invitation to look up at the sky at night? What if I didn't get an invitation? Would I have to keep my head towards the ground and not look? I know the invitation was a goodwill gesture, I just thought it was funny.

I liked the fact that the 4th of July fell on a Friday and we had the weekend to enjoy the fireworks. Several people in our area put on really good shows and I love it when neighbors try to outdo each other. Whoever wins, you can't really be disappointed in free fireworks, good or bad.

For some reason, I really enjoy "duds". I like it when something either doesn't go off, or goes off incorrectly - as long as no one is hurt. I get the biggest kick out of watching someone light a fuze, run and then nothing happens. Then they walk back over so carefully, like they're sneaking up on it. That's really funny.

Firework names are funny to read. Have you ever looked at what you are lighting? I saw one package that read "Big Barrel of Bang". It was big and it was a barrel, but it wasn't that big of a bang.

We also had one called "Grand Finale". Once lit, this interesting little box set off a mini fireworks show all by itself. It would shoot several into the air and then stop. We'd all clap and then in a few seconds it would start up again. This time it would do a fountain of sparks. Then it would stop and we'd all clap. Suddenly it would start back up again. I thought that this one was a real bargain. My kids just wanted it to stop so they could shoot the next thing off.......

And what are you we clapping for? Yeah! The guy lighting the small bomb wasn't hurt when it exploded!

We pulled one out of the box that read, "Blue Stars". This one was cool. The kids took it out in the middle of the road and lit it. They ran back to us and we all watched it shoot blue stars in to the air.

It was beautiful. Then all at once, it fell over and pointed in our direction. Blue stars chased us around the yard. We all took cover behind a truck. After the danger was over someone said, "They should have called that one brown stripes on white underwear."

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 7, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

As if I didn't have enough trouble with my dog typing at my computer.....

I learned this week that Facebook, a popular website for those of us with too much time on our hands at work, has branched off into the world of pet web pages with "Dogbook".

Dogs all over the world are logging in, setting up their web sites and joining online parks where they share things of common interest like cat recipes, favorite chew toys, stories of dragging their butts across the carpet and tips on how to get away with pooping on the floor of their owner's homes.

I'm not exactly sure when this site launched, but as soon as my German Shepherd, Hyde, found out that I had a Facebook page, he added me as a friend.

It's true, our pets can actually have web sites. I'm already so frustrated with my dog using my Ipod. Every time I pick it up he's got it playing "Who Let The Dogs Out?". Now I have to worry about scheduling him for computer time.

I logged into my dog's page on Wednesday to find out that he has a few local friends, including Jeff Clarke's dog Lucy. Lucy is a female Westie and has been loved since 2007. According to her website she enjoys playing with toys, sleeping, eating, drinking, playing with her cat Nermal, and playing outside.

Lucy's favorite treats are Milkbones and she claims to be very quiet with a funny personality.

Of course Hyde and Lucy are now friends and no doubt will be emailing each other, writing on each other's wall (a slang for leaving messages on something similar to a message board online), sharing embarrassing photos of each other and discussing their current handler's treatment of them.

But like humans who hide their true identities behind their flat screen monitors, will virtual rear-end sniffing lure some dogs into unnatural relationships like Rottweilers pretending to be small Poodles?

Next my dog will be wanting me to add text messaging to his cell phone.....

? ? ? ?

This Thursday marks a bitter sweet ending to the exchange year of Soeren Niklas Gaertner. Many of you have read right here about "Nick" in KWIBS. Nick is a German exchange student who spent this past year living with our neighbor John Nixon.

Nick has become part of the family and we've all wondered where the time has gone. It just seems like yesterday that he arrived. It was actually in August of last year. First impressions are everything. The night he arrived our family went over to John's to meet him. Nick brought out German chocolate as a gift. Now we're all addicts and he's been our supplier for the past year.

His first week here John, Nick, Ronda and I all went to Texas to a Rush concert. Since then John has taken him to another Rush concert, river rafting, to a professional basketball game and a college football game. He'll be the first to tell you he got a good exchange parent!

Nick is an unusually mature 17 year old with a great sense of humor. We had many nights of debating on subjects like politics, religion and the economy. And even though he's a staunch Obama fan, he found humor in my good-bye message to him, "McCain in 2008!" Look Nick, I spelled it correctly and everything!

Last week Ronda and I took a trip down the Illinois River in Oklahoma with some friends. Breeann, Joey and "Big Nick" tagged along for a last hoorah. There were some good memories made on this trip including Nick driving part of the way home on Monday. Don't worry. He was officially done with AFS on Sunday. He had one day left to legally drive on his learner's permit. Besides, I am sure he didn't violate any of his AFS rules the entire year! *wink*

Nick and I had a nice visit (or "wisit" as he would say) last week about his year in America.

"It will always be one of the greatest experiences of my life," he said.

A gracious and kind kid, Nick will be missed by his host parent, John, and the many friends he's made this year. Breeann, Joey, Nicholas, Ronda, Hyde and I will miss you too and we'll always remember you. Come back for a "wisit" sometime.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 1, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

We could cover it until we're blue in the face, but we could never give enough credit to Bob and Dorothy Stutler for the work they've done on The Grand Hotel.

It's jaw-dropping each time I drive past it. I know I am going to have an accident in the near future as I drive past gawking at it. The place looks incredible. I realize they aren't quite finished, but I wanted to take a moment to thank them for saving and restoring such a fine piece of our town's history. You guys are true assets to our community.

I'm going to put the entire town on the spot now. We need to show some appreciation to these folks. Many of you don't realize the undertaking this was and the amount of time and money that the Stutlers have invested in this property. I think the City of Medicine Lodge should, at the very least, make a proclamation declaring a day of appreciation for their work. Hopefully, someone is reading this. *Smiles*

Let's not let this project go unnoticed. If you agree with me, let the appropriate people know and let's show the Stutlers that we are thankful to have them in our community and that we appreciate what they are doing.

After I wrote this, I went up front to discover a letter from Darrel and Mary Rhea concerning the Grand and some property around town that needs attention. My sentiments exactly!

? ? ? ?

I loved this story. I hope my friend Nick Gaertner reads it and understands how resourceful Americans can be.

Sports bra saves US hiker in German Alps

An American hiker stranded in the Bavarian Alps for nearly three days was rescued after using her sports bra as a signal, police in southern Germany said Monday.

Berchtesgaden police officer Lorenz Rasp said that he helped lift 24-year-old Jessica Bruinsma of Colorado state to safety by helicopter on Thursday after she attracted the attention of lumberjacks by attaching her sports bra to a cable used to move timber down the mountain.

"She's a very smart girl, and she acted very resourcefully," said Rasp. "She kept her shirt and jacket for warmth, but thought the sports bra could work as a signal."

An Alpine rescue team, including five helicopters and 80 emergency workers, had been searching for Bruinsma since she went missing June 16 after losing her way in bad weather while hiking with a friend near the Austrian border.

She fell 16.4 feet (five meters) to a rocky overhang, where she spent the next 70 hours on the narrow ledge, sustained by water that she found by breaking into a supply box on the ledge.

She badly bruised a leg and dislocated a shoulder in the fall, and the cliff was too isolated for her to climb free, Rasp said.

Rasp said the cable was only within reach because the timber transport system was out of service. When a repairman restored the line on Thursday, the cable car started moving up the mountain and Bruinsma's bra reached the worker at the base. He knew of the missing hiker and immediately called police.

Rasp said his team followed the cable line up the cliffside in a helicopter and found Bruinsma standing on the ledge, waving with her good arm. After circling once, they lowered a winch to Bruinsma and lifted her aboard.

"She did so well because she is in very good shape," Rasp said. "She has been training for a marathon - her goal is to finish in 3 hours and 10 minutes."

Bruinsma told Rasp that she has scrapped plans to stay in Berchtesgaden to learn German and plans to return home to Colorado Springs with her parents. He said she still plans to run the marathon, if she recovers in time to keep training.

The moral of the story is that Americans are resourceful and Germans are easily distracted with undergarments.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 23, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I failed to mention a couple of very important dates last week in my column. I was too worried about the creepy spiders.

If you'll notice on the front page of the paper this week, we are at volume 18 - issue 1.

This marks our 885th edition of The Gyp Hill Premiere. More importantly, we are celebrating our 17th year in business in Medicine Lodge.

I glanced through a few years of early Premieres and the walk down memory lane did me good.

I saw pictures of several of us, younger and thinner, in the pages that are now history. I saw people like Mark Boyter and Orval Kutz who are no longer with us, but immortalized in the archives.

I've said it more than once. I love my job and I love putting out the newspaper. It's an honor to serve the community and we appreciate your support these last 17 years! Thanks!

The other important date was more important than the first. I may not have remembered to mention in my column last week, but I did remember the date. Tuesday, June 17, 2008 was our anniversary.

Ronda and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary with a rededication ceremony with our children at our home that night - thanks to some very special people who rearranged their evenings to bless us. Sarah and Dwain Richert and David Kolbek came to dinner and to participate in our ceremony. David brought his guitar and beautiful voice and Dwain remarried Ronda and I down by our pond.

It had been something Ronda and I had wanted to do for a while now, but never could seem to organize it. Our 20th seemed like a good time to do it.

Monday afternoon I originally gave Dwain a call and asked him if he could do it. It turned out that he couldn't because of ball game schedules with his kids. So I scrapped the whole idea and tried to come up with something creative to do.

I got online to see how to celebrate a 20th anniversary and I found a site that said Day Lilies were the flowers to give for that anniversary and China was the theme gift. As easy as this all sounded, you can't get Day Lilies on that short of notice and my wife really doesn't like China.

So instead, I got Ronda twenty balloons and tied paper with scripture about love on them. My plan was to read her each one and release them.

Early Tuesday morning Dwain called me back and said his son's game got rained out. God does answer prayer, even when you pray He'll ruin a kid's baseball game. So, he said he could do the ceremony! (I'm kidding about praying for rain to ruin a baseball game of course).

I visited with David and he agreed to play a couple of songs for us and everything was in motion. David and Sarah and Dwain would meet us at our house for dinner at 6:30 p.m.

Ronda was completely unaware. I would spring the whole thing on her when I got home.

Things don't always go as planned.

I got home to find Ronda laying on the couch with a cold pack on her head. She felt sick and wasn't really up to helping me with supper. She had already put on her pajamas for the evening. It was 5:45 p.m. and she didn't have any idea that company would be here at 6:30 p.m.

"Hey, honey," I said at about 6:10 p.m. "Why don't you slip your clothes back on? I have surprise for you."

"You can surprise me in my jammies," she said from under her blanket on the couch. "What do you want me dressed back up for?"

She knew something was up and I finally said, "Look, if you're not dressed here in about 10-15 minutes, you'll wish you had been!"

She got up and went back in the bedroom, giving me the "you're up to something" look.

In between all this, I was cooking food on the stove, on the grill and making a salad. I love to cook, but I am often easily distracted by shiny things like the TV and the telephone and at one point forgot I had potatoes on the side burner on my grill. They call that thing a burner for a reason, as it was turning my potatoes into an ash tray quickly. I jerked the pan off the burner and started to carry it inside when my hand cramped. I reached to grab the other side of the pan to steady it. HOLY MOLEY! I burned my fingers as Dwain and Sarah pulled into the drive way.

When I finished my hot pan dance, I set it down on the door Matt and opened the door to take the potatoes inside. I got the door open and reached down to grab the pan only to discover I had melted the pan to the front door mat and was dragging in a piece of it like string cheese from a hot pizza.

The rest of the evening went well. Dinner was salvaged and Sarah brought a great peach cobbler.

At dinner Sarah asked what our secret was to making our marriage last 20 years. Ronda and I both agreed that one of the biggest things that helped our maraige work was humor. We've had plenty of that for the past 20 years. It probably doesn't hurt that we really love each other too.......

After dinner we walked down to the pond. All of our kids were home and even the dog became part of the ceremony.

Without boring you with the mushy details, it was a great ceremony and I can't thank David, Dwain and Sarah enough for being a part of it.

After the ceremony, we read and released the balloons one at a time and watched them drift off into the sky. It was cool and I even got a little emotional.

Then I got a smirk on my face and asked Ronda, "You think the neighbors are going to be mad when they find twenty popped balloons in their pasture?"

Happy anniversary, Ronda. I love you. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 16, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

We finished eating dinner one night last week and my son Nicholas went down stairs for his after-dinner video game.

Ronda and I were cleaning up the kitchen when we heard him scream, "Mom, come downstairs quick and bring a giant shoe!"

Ronda looked at me and asked, "What was that all about?"

I explained to her that there was either one very big foot downstairs or it was Nicholas's way of telling us there was a large spider in the basement.

The kids instinctively know that when you need a light bulb changed, a carburetor put on a motorcycle, the battery charged, a door hung, some heavy lifting or even the occasional computer problem solved, you call for dad. When there is a scary bug, you call for mom.

I especially hate spiders. Do you want to see me run screaming like a thirteen year old girl? Put a spider in front of me.

I'm not a simple fraidy-cat by nature. I have little fear of mice, rats or even snakes (unless I startle it and myself at the same time). I just hate those scary little spiders. I would say I am quite brave when it comes to the critter department. I just don't like bugs and I especially don't like spiders.

Arachnaphobia is the scientific name for fear of spiders. Despite centuries of evidence that many people are afraid of spiders, I read that there is no known evolutionary reason to trace its origin.

Is that right?

I can see Caveman Nog returning from his hunt and holding the hind quarter of his kill high in the air. Off in the short distance at the entrance of their cave his tribe shouts for joy as they see the big game that Nog has killed. Nog approaches his cheering tribe and walks between two trees where a spider has just spun himself a home. It drapes across his face - he wets his leopard skin loin cloth, drops his meat and runs off into the jungle screaming.

That's the evolution of Arachnaphobia.

I thought maybe I was brave enough to take on a small spider last weekend. I was sitting in my wife's car and a tiny spider was crawling near the top of the window.

Here was my chance to be a hero.

I took off my sandal and rolled the window down so I could get a good swing. Then the wind came up, He shot himself a web out of his butt and landed right in my face. I was half way across the parking lot before I realized I was one shoe short.

A few years ago, my wife and I took a trip to Mexico where I had decided to face another one of my biggest fears - heights. We hiked several miles into the jungle and climbed several cliff faces to reach the top of this mountain. Then we had some guy strap a harness around us, attach it to a cable and throw us off the side of the perfectly safe mountain. It was called "flying". The cable and pulley system sent you soaring across the canyon below at speeds of nearly 50 mph for up to a half mile long. My pants were nearly dry when I reached the other side. A series of these cable systems brought you to the bottom of the mountain where a guy with an alcoholic beverage awaited you. I was ready for that when we got down.

After they soften you up a bit with their local nectar, they started introducing us to some of the bar's regulars. The first was a giant snake. I don't mean like one that you see in your garden. This was all National Geographic big and was like an 18 foot or longer snake. They put it on you and it starts wrapping itself around you as two guys try to keep it from making you lunch.

I was fine with this. My wife was a little uneasy, but she might have had just the right amount of cactus juice in her to try it. We both felt a sense of accomplishment after handling the giant snake. We had now conquered the mountain and a giant snake. This was time for celebration.

"Bring me another," I boldly proclaimed.

I discovered at that moment that there was a language barrier between our people. I meant something to drink. The bartender brought me a giant spider.

My first instinct was to hide behind Ronda in hopes that she would kill it.

"Here! Here! He no bite you. See?," he said as he placed it on my hand.

I was frozen. The spider's venom must have already entered my blood system and paralyzed me. I hadn't even felt the sharp fangs of this tricky predator pierce my flesh. So this is how I was going to die? It was crawling up my arm - probably tasting me and preparing to wrap me up in a giant cocoon to feast on me little by little. How horrific.

Ronda sat there and smiled. Why hadn't she taken off her shoe to kill it? Was my life insurance paid up? It was! This was her diabolical plan from the beginning. She took me on vacation to have me eaten alive by a giant spider and then she would collect my insurance money.

The bartender grabbed the spider, saving my life.

Then he put it on my face and said, "No blow! No blow!"

No kidding? I wasn't blowing. I couldn't even breath at that point. This thing was about to eat me from the inside out. I felt his hairy legs on my lips and could feel his fuzzy body sliding over my nose. I needed to sneeze! I needed to breath! I thought I was going to pass out. I was dieing. That's when I felt a strange peace overcoming me and I saw the bright light that people see when near death.

I realized the spider was gone. I opened my eyes to find my wife taking my picture.

I was still alive. Scarred for life, but alive.

Do you see the can of Raid behind me? Do you think anyone grabbed that? No...

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From June 9, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Father's Day is coming up this Sunday and I was thinking about the joys and struggles associated with fatherhood.

"Father" is one of those titles that demands respect, but often gets much less. I remember that I was far from the perfect child growing up. I know I gave my father grief.

He may think that I never paid any attention to all the fatherly wisdom he laid on me, but I did. I remember a couple of things he told me. One was to always "kill'm with kindness" when faced with adversity.

I find myself giving my kids advice and wondering if they are even paying attention. I am sure one day they will recall some bit of wisdom I gave them.

And now that I am a father (of 18 years now), I realize that you have to take the good with the bad and you try your best in every situation to, as the song goes, "teach your children well."

Most of the time I probably come off sounding like I am nagging and ragging on my kids, but my hope is that they will learn, not only from their mistakes, but mine as well.

"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right." -- Bill Cosby

As a father, I sometimes question if I am deserving of a special day of observance. Then I realize that I have three great kids, so I will celebrate!

Like most fathers, I don't expect a gift. I have everything I want as a father. I have my wife and kids. What more could I possibly want?

Father's Day is a day to honor your dad. Every day my kids wake up healthy is Father's Day for me. I'm sure my dad feels the same way.

The idea for creating a day for children to honor their fathers began in Spokane, Washington. A woman by the name of Sonora Smart Dodd thought of the idea for Father's Day while listening to a Mother's Day sermon in 1909.

Having been raised by her father, William Jackson Smart, after her mother died, Sonora wanted her father to know how special he was to her. It was her father that made all the parental sacrifices and was, in the eyes of his daughter, a courageous, selfless, and loving man. Sonora's father was born in June, so she chose to hold the first Father's Day celebration in Spokane, Washington on the 19th of June, 1910.

In 1926, a National Father's Day Committee was formed in New York City. Father's Day was recognized by a Joint Resolution of Congress in 1956. In 1972, President Richard Nixon established a permanent national observance of Father's Day to be held on the third Sunday of June. So Father's Day was born in memory and gratitude by a daughter who thought that her father and all good fathers should be honored with a special day just like we honor our mothers on Mother's Day.

Today nearly 100 years have elapsed since the first Father's Day was celebrated. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.

In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.

Today, it's the size of his minivan.

In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success. Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.

In 1900, fathers passed on clothing to their sons. Today, kids wouldn't touch Dad's clothes if they were sliding naked down an icicle.

In 1900, fathers could count on children to join the family business. Today, fathers pray their kids will soon come home from college long enough to teach them how to work the computer and set the VCR.

In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE."

With fatherhood comes the right of passage to use phrases like, "Shut the lights off. Do you pay the electricity bill around here?"

Here's some things you'll never hear your father say.

- Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

- You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

- I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

- Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

- What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

- Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

- Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

- No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

- Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend!

With all that joking aside, I do want to wish my dad a happy Father's Day. I love you Dad. Without sounding like I am patting myself on the back, I think you did a pretty good job with your kids!

I hope all of you fathers have a special Father's Day!

 

KWIBS - From June 2, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Now that American Idol is over for the season, the only things I can find on TV have to do with politics. As interested as I am, I am finding the candidates all a little bit dull.

I have enjoyed the interviews with the candidates, but none of them really have any answers for the economy, the war in Iraq, the situation with Iran or how to deal with the changing global climate.

The questions they answer all seem to be very well rehearsed.

I have received a lot of emails lately on how underqualified Obama is, how John McCain is too liberal for the Republicans and how devious Hillary Clinton is, but the following comparison just made me laugh.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

You can take it further.....

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From May 27, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Unless you were as crazy about American Idol as I was, read no further.

I got hooked on this show in the beginning - season 1 in 2002. I've had a love-hate relationship with it ever since.

That's the year Kelly Clarkson won and she was awesome. She still is. American Idol was a huge success and had captured the viewing audience.

It seemed like America was pretty sharp and could pick a winner.

Then came season two....

Ruben Studdard. A man, named after a sandwich, that looked like he'd eaten a few in his lifetime won the competition - or lack thereof. Season two was in my best English accent, "an utter disappointment."

Season three wasn't much better. We saw Fantasia win. She was good, but beat out my favorite, George Huff. I figured his name wasn't as cool as her name. Where is Fantasia now? Not doing so good...... I began losing interest in the show.

Then came season 4. We finally saw some competition. Things picked up season 4 and Carrie Underwood became a household name. You recognize that name, don't you?

Season 5 was the nail in the coffin for me. This was the season that America got it all wrong and voted Taylor Hicks as American Idol.

You probably couldn't find one of Taylor Hicks's CDs unless you hit a weekend garage sale.

Idol's record label had this to say about Hicks, "We didn’t want to shove any songs down his throat. We wanted to make an album in the style he was comfortable with. We mutually agreed that he’d work on an album [on his own], we’d listen, and we’d see where we go from there. There’s no acrimony."

I had to look up the definition of acrimony: " harsh or biting sharpness especially of words, manner, or disposition."

That was probably a polite way of saying, "you're terrible."

The most surprising thing about season 5 was when Chris Daughtry was the 4th from the top and got voted off. He was my pick early in the season and all my "musically unchallenged" friends agreed he was the best talent that season.

Daughtry didn't need American Idol. He went on to release several hits and has become a huge success.

I was so angry after season 5 that I protested American Idol season 6. I and most of America couldn't even tell you who won. You don't even remember Jordin Sparks do you?

This year has been different. There has been an immense talent turnout for season 7 and with a lot of hype, American Idol got back on track and folks like me and my mom started watching and voting again. I can honestly say that there will be some memorable talent from this season and you can take it to the bank, which is exactly what Simon Cowell will do.

Now that I have mentioned my mom, let me say that she was nearly single-handedly responsible for David Cook's win last week.

I called my mom after Idol and she told me she voted between 75-100 times for David Cook. Way to go, Mom. That's probably why the line was busy when I tried to vote.

According to the show. David Cook edged out David Archuleta by 12 million votes! That is just incredible. The finale recorded just under 100 million votes for the episode.

David Archuleta was a great performer, but in my opinion only appealed to a small group of teenage girls. They may be able to text their little hearts out, but voting was open until midnight. Most of his voters had to be in bed by 10 p.m., so thanks to people like my mom, David Cook is this year's champion!

I wish I could walk up to Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell and tell them how wrong they got it. They had this year's trophy already engraved with David Archuleta's name on it. Shortly before they read the winner's name, Simon took a moment to say he was sorry for being so hard on David Cook.

I can't help but wonder that Simon and the other judges knew who the winner was and watching him eat a little crow put a renewed interest in American Idol.

I can't wait for season 8!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 19, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Everyone says something dumb at least once in their life. If they do it around our office, they make the white board. I have a big board in my office that I refer to as "my brain". We use the board to keep track of the week's events at a glance.

There's also a spot for words that are just funny. Most of the time they aren't even real words.

I'm not going to pick on anyone in particular because I have words on this board, but one word that cracked me up was "interflicted". I would say the word was either supposed to be interfered or conflicted, but the word came out "interflicted". It made the board!

Interflicted (v): When a conflict interferes with speaking fluent English.....

The other day my mother sent me this and I could not resist sharing it. I dedicate this column to Deputy Justin Rugg - king of made up words.

The following are a few of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitationals which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido : All talk and no action.

Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee , n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted , adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate , v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade , v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent , adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph , v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle , n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence , n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies

up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent , n . An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

 

KWIBS - From May 12, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I had been rushing around for the past couple of weeks trying to get everything in order for the special section for the MLHS graduating class of 2008 when it suddenly dawned on me - my first child is graduating from high school.

Breeann is my oldest child. Everything that is a first in life, she's been the one to do it. First complete kindergarten, first to graduate from the 8th grade, first to drive, first to crash and now, first to graduate.

There are a lot of emotions that come with thinking about her graduating from high school.

My first emotion is a feeling of satisfaction. I'm proud of Breeann. I haven't always been easy on her. I hope she knows that when I was hard, it was to help her learn to be a better person.

I'm also feeling sadness. It's not easy letting go. I'm so grateful for all the time we've had together and that I have two more kids at home. Whether she believes me or not, I'm really going to miss my her when she leaves home.

Even though I hate to see this time become history for her, I am feeling excitement about her future. She plans to become an elementary school teacher. Of course all college kids make plans and sometimes they change, but I am proud that she has a goal in mind.

I also have fear - fear for my kid going out into the world and experiencing some of the failures in life. As a parent, my natural instinct is to protect her, but I know she has to experience and learn from life's mistakes.

There is also a feeling of relief. It's hard to explain. It's like giving birth I suppose. It's painful, but when it's all over there is this reward of life. Having your child complete high school is a great accomplishment. With this part of her life completed, Ronda and I are now looking forward to college, someday a wedding, someday grandchildren. Wow....

As I was looking over photos of the class of 2008, I started thinking about all the slumber parties, field trips, sporting events and summers spent with a lot of these kids.

I thought back on the year that a group of us went to Dallas, TX to a M.A.Y.B. tournament and afterwards going to Six Flags. I remember the whole group waiting on Brooke Mease to finally decide which shirt she was going to wear so we could finally go to the park. I rode all the roller coasters with the kids and remember how sick I felt.

I also remember a 10th birthday party where about 12 little girls came to our house to eat cake and ride gokarts. I remember Erica Andrews crashing into my fence. Later on the girls got tired and grumpy. After a fist fight broke out, I had to separate a few girls!

Danae Rice jumped out of our back seat of our suburban on cue one stormy night during a scary story about an escaped inmate. I had a car full of screaming little girls. It was hilarious.

Enough time has passed for me to tell this final story of two car thieves from the class of 2008. Ronda and I were in Wichita one day when we left Cori Christensen and Erica Andrews at our house with Breeann. Cori and Erica got up early and decided to take our car for a joy ride around the ranch. Now neither of them were even old enough for a driver's license! No harm was done and I did my best to sound mad, but I had little or no effect! I never told their parents. I guess this is my revenge girls! lol.....

All of these memories seemed to have happened in such a short time. With 13 years of school behind them, this class now takes their big step out into the world.

I can't believe how fast the time has gone by.

How did it get so late so soon?

It's night before

it's afternoon.

December is here before it's June.

My goodness how the

time has flewn.

How did it get so late so soon?

Theodor Geisel

also known as Dr. Seuss

I read through each of the kids' graduation information and one student caught my attention. I want to mention her because she wrote something that really caught my attention. It was something different.

Deidre Johnson's information was different. Yeah, she listed her parents, her accomplishments and the college she plans on attending, but she added something.

Her future plans read: "I plan to attend Wichita State University and study Dental Hygiene after school. I plan to start a family and come back to Medicine Lodge to open a dentist office."

She plans on coming back. How often do you hear a kid say that?

In the many evenings Breeann and I spent together filling out financial aide, scholarship applications and talking about her future, she too mentioned how she would one day like to come home and be a preschool teacher. It made me proud.

Ted Colborn also said he wants to come back and work on the family farm. Good for you, Ted. I'm sure there are others in the class that want to call Medicine Lodge their home.

There is a good reason why the students of MLHS should consider coming home one day. It was obvious by the local scholarship awards given Tuesday evening that people in our community care. I can't tell you how many thousands of dollars went to the class of 2008 from our community. It was very cool and I know how much the kids appreciate the help with school. For those of you who helped out with these scholarships, as a parent, I want to thank you for helping my child.

My family got acquainted with one of the newest members of the MLHS class of 2008 this year. Nick Gaertner (Soeren Niklas Gaertner) is a foreign exchange student from Germany who has been living with John Nixon. John is one of our closest neighbors and his host student, Nick, is my Son Joey's age. They've become good friends and we've enjoyed spending time with Nick.

It's been especially fun to spend time sitting around our little camp fire and experiencing Nick's quick-witted responses. We'll miss you Nick. Thanks for spending time with us.

You know, it seems like only a few years ago that I was graduating from the very same high school that my daughter and her class will now graduate from this coming Saturday, May 17th. Actually, it has been exactly 20 years. I graduated with the class of 1988.

To Breeann and the class of 2008:

I love all of you kids. I'm so proud of you and wish you all the success in life. You'll always be special to me and Ronda and I thank you all for the memories. I pray that God will give you wisdom and bless each of you on your journey.

Have a great week!

Congratulations class of 2008!

 

KWIBS - From May 5, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

One of my favorite weekly pastimes is reading area newspapers.

My mission is to keep up on some of the Newspaper Publisher "Old-timers", as I like to call them. My "Old-timers are Bob McQuin of the Kingman Leader-Courier, Bob Greer of the Protection Press and Dennise Andersen of the Coldwater Western Star.

These are three newspaper publishers that I have known since I was barely able to measure up to a pica pole (newspaper lingo).

Back in the early 1970s, my Uncle Gary, my Grandpa Bill and my Dad Ron used to print these area newspapers at our printing plant in the old Index building on First Street. I would be entertained weekly by the publishers from Coldwater and Protection. I still keep in contact with them and Bob Greer still makes his monthly stops by my office to steal my toilet paper. He says the same thing every time, "I’m on my way to Wichita to check on my doctor."

When I was finally old enough to stand on milk crates to reach the press controls, I began helping with the press work and eventually did the majority of the printing.

By the time I turned 14, I had my learner’s permit and I started driving the newspaper to Kingman twice each week after I got the paper printed. It was my summer job.

So, I got to know Bob McQuin when I was a little newspaper guy. This week in the Kingman Leader-Courier, Bob McQuin announced he was turning over his Editor’s duty to his daughter Connie Schoenhofer. Bob will stay on as Publisher with a few reductions in duties as his health hasn’t been the best lately. Bob has been the Editor/Publisher of Kingman’s newspaper for 41 years.

Bob’s weekly column "So What’s New" is my first stop when I pick up his paper each week. Congratulations Bob and I hope you get to feeling better.

? ? ? ?

This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day. I wanted to drop a note to the important mothers that surround my family and bring them love.

I love you Mom. Thank you for always being there for me and sis and being a part of our lives.

I love you Ronda. Thank you for being my partner in raising our three children.

I love you MeMe. Thank you for being a mom to Ronda when her’s went home to be with the Lord.

? ? ? ?

I want to thank Kraig and Steve at Bowe Chevrolet, John at Hibbards HealthMart, Brandon Hazel at State Farm, Norm at White’s Foodliner, Riley at Taco Tico/Simple Simon Pizza, Brent at Home Lumber, my staff here at The Gyp Hill Premiere, John Nixon at Nixon Realty and Jon Walz at The Rock -KPAK 97.5 FM for helping us promote Imminent Domain last weekend at the American Legion Building.

We’ve heard good things from the kids that came and we hope to have this group back in Medicine Lodge, maybe in September????

? ? ? ?

A giant helium-filled pig didn't drift off to hog heaven after it was released into the night sky during Roger Waters' performance at the Coachella music festival. It's been found, in two pieces.

Two couples found tattered halves of the inflatable swine in their yards, a few miles from festival grounds in the Southern California desert.

Concert organizers had offered a $10,000 reward for the pig's return. On Tuesday, pieces of the plastic carcass were examined.

"That's definitely our pig," producer Bill Fold said.

Susan Stoltz found a plastic heap in her driveway Monday, but said she didn't know what it was until she read about the missing pig in the Desert Sun newspaper.

"My kids are going to think I'm so cool," she said.

Another resident of the same neighborhood, Judy Rimmer, said she found a piece of the pig draped over a front-yard plant.

The two couples will split the cash reward, Fold said.

As tall as a two-story house and as wide as two school buses, the pig was led from lines held on the ground Sunday as Waters played a version of Pink Floyd's "Pigs" from the 1977 anti-capitalist album "Animals."

Then it just floated away.

"It wasn't really supposed to happen that way. I don't have the details," festival spokeswoman Marcee Rondan said.

The pig displayed the words "Don't be led to the slaughter" and a cartoon of Uncle Sam holding two bloody cleavers. The other side read "Fear builds walls" and the underside read "Obama" with a checked ballot box for Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama.

My guess is that some small-town, gun-toting Christian conservative shot it down. hehehehehehe

 

KWIBS - From April 28, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

I know it is only April, but my house was hot and stuffy. I made the decision to turn on the air conditioner. It didn't work. So the windows came open and the ceiling fan came on last week after the house reached 84 degrees.

It felt good as the breeze started moving through my house, so I grabbed a book and sat down to read.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

Nine years ago, I bought a ceiling fan and decided I would "do it myself". It's clicked for approximately nine years.

It should have been a simple job, especially for a guy who went to school to study home construction for 2 years. Yes, I had trouble declaring a major in college. I built homes for two years in college. That's another column.

I remember 9 years ago laying the pieces all over the floor and spending a couple of head-scratching hours putting it up. When it was finished, I looked up with great pride and pulled the chain.

Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click.

I decided right then and there it was a decorative light. We rarely turned it on. But it was hot and we needed to move some air.

I tried to ignore the sound, but it kept getting louder and louder. My God, it was annoying.

Ronda and I looked at each other. She was giving me that, "I wish you would fix that" look. so I put my book down and went out to the garage for my tools.

I brought back a screwdriver, some wrenches and of course, a hammer. Instead of a ladder, I brought over a kitchen chair. At 5' 7" I was still on my tippy toes to reach the fan.

I shut the power off at the wall, not the breaker, and proceeded to examine the situation. The solution seemed simple. The fans were striking the outer ring of the mounting hardware. My choices were to move the mounting hardware a little bit or grab a grinder and grind off the brass ring. I chose the less destructive, although the grinder would have been cool with all the sparks and metal shavings flying through our living room. If I moved the mounting hardware, the clicking sound would be eliminated.

All I needed to do was expose the inside of the fan where it was mounted to the ceiling. I just needed a screwdriver to remove an access panel. It came off easy enough and I could see clear to the ceiling and the bolts that would move the mounting hardware to stop the clicking sound.

Unfortunately, I could not reach the bolts and had to take off a brass ring. I got out my wrenches. It was a tiny nut. Smaller than my smallest wrench, so I went back out to the garage to find a new tool to help me in my latest home improvement project. After trying several American wrenches, I found a wrench that wasn't an American measurement that fit. Go figure.

I removed the ring only to find that the fan blades were in the way. I would need a large phillips head screwdriver. I went back out to the garage and came back with a new tool.

I took all five blades off and carefully laid them on the floor of my living room. I placed all of the brass screws in my left pocket. The screws for the brass ring were already in my right pocket. I then attemped to remove the brass ring.

The lights were in the way.

I said a few choice words and stepped off my kitchen chair. My shoulders were tired and my feet were hurting.I took a small break and got back on the chair. I then unscrewed the lights, removed the brass ring and discovered a clear plastic decorative ring that had to be moved so I could reach the mounting hardware. That came off with a twist.

Finally, I got a break.

I loosened the screws to the mounting plate and grabbed my hammer. With a couple of taps, I decided that I had moved it enough to stop the clicking sound. My neck was getting a little sore, so I stepped back down off the kitchen chair, tripping over a few of the fan blades and spilling my screws out of my pockets.

I gathered my screws and composure and started replacing the plastic decorative ring. It went on with success and I proceeded to put the brass ring back on. It went on easy too. I put the lights back on and was ready to put the blades back on.

I was going to need a couple of extra hands for this, so I called my oldest son in to the room. This was going to be an important lesson for him. We were going to be a team, father and son, fixing a ceiling fan in mom's prescence.

I grabbed an extra chair.

Without complaining and with great skill and patience, Joey held the blades up for me. Okay, I made that part up. With a lot of whining and squirming, Joey attempted to hold the fan blades while I lined up the screws with the holes in the fan motor.

I failed to notice earlier in the project that there were five fan blades that took two screws each and 15 holes. What idiot put that many holes up there? We stepped down off our chairs and studied the situation.

Back up on our chairs, I picked a spot to start and struggled to put the blade back on. Getting the holes to line up was tricky and when I turned the screws the fan motor turned and the screws would fall to the floor. We coordinated our efforts and got one blade on.

This was hard. We took another break and started on the next fan blades.

We were pros at this now and before we knew it, we were on the last holes. Success was almost ours. I tightened the last screw and we stepped down.

Joey said, "Hey dad, what about this last blade?"

I looked down and to my horror, discovered an extra blade. I looked up and counted. Yep, only four blades were mounted to the ceiling fan.

"How the heck did that happen," I asked?

Well, good for us, it looked just fine with four blades and I decided to turn it on and check to see if the clicking sound was gone. I pulled the chain and the sound was gone!

"Great! It's fixed," I said.

We looked to mom for approval. Ronda had a look on her face that simply said, no. Joey saw it too.

"Mom, it looks fine with four," he said.

She wasn't going to let this one slide. She was right. The ceiling fan started with five blades, equally spaced, and now had four blades that resembled a large, lopsided X.

Joey and I looked at each other with understanding. We grabbed the screwdriver, got back on our chairs and systematically started removing the blades. Once they were all off, we studied the problem again.

It was a complete mathmatical impossibility. I'm not sure who the genius was that put this up the first time, but I'm guessing he had the instructions. Oh yeah, that genius was me and I didn't keep the instructions.

After arguing for several minutes about which holes to start with, Joey convinced me that he was in algebra and that he was right. I had no choice but to trust him.

Now sweating profusely, my neck and shoulders throbbing, we started the long process of putting the fan blades back on.

To my surprise the fourth blade went on and we had two holes left.

"See dad, I'm a genius," said Joey.

I was impressed and embarassed all at the same time. It was a coming of age for my son - the problem solver.

We put the last blade on and stepped back.

I pulled the chain and the fan started turning.

It didn't make the clicking sound! However, it now has a wobble to it that causes the light to swing, making our living room look like a disco.

Neither Joey nor I made eye contact with Ronda.

I also have one screw left over, but hey, it doesn't click...........

 

KWIBS - From April 21, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

It's a good time to express our thanks to area fire fighters for all of the hard work they've done this past week. For several days, area volunteers fought fires west of town that were driven by strong winds. Not only did the weather not cooperate, but Murphy's Law applied. There were blow outs, not enough water trucks at times, not enough fuel trucks at times and the general confusion that comes when that big of a fire occurs. We need to commend the people that take time out of their busy lives to sometimes put their lives in danger to protect our property. Other volunteers like ambulance crews, off duty law enforcement, county and township people were instrumental in getting these fires under control. A lot of these volunteers also have wives who are on the front lines with food and drinks for their families and their friends who are working hard to stop the fires from spreading.

Thank you folks for working so hard. You are heroes.

? ? ? ?

I’d like to extend an invitation to everyone who likes a good, clean, rock band to come out to The American Legion Building Friday night, April 25th from 7-9 p.m. Imminent Domain is the band playing. I will tell you this show is going to be geared for ages 9-18, but if you like original Punk / Emo this will be a good show. I’ve known the Petitjean family now for about two years. They’re a great family and brothers Mac, Kyle and Chris are neat kids and have a unique sound. The cost is $5. Taco Tico / Simple Simons will be serving food downstairs starting at around 5:45 p.m. The band will be selling their CDs and other merchandise throughout the evening. I want to thank Kraig and Steve at Bowe Chevrolet, John at Hibbards HealthMart, Brandon Hazel at State Farm, Norm at White’s Foodliner, Riley at Taco Tico/Simple Simon Pizza, Brent at Home Lumber, my staff here at The Gyp Hill Premiere and Jon Walz at The Rock -KPAK 97.5 FM for helping us get Imminent Domain to play a show here.

? ? ? ?

It's been a few months ago, but I heard a really funny story. I will try to share it with as much accuracy as possible, but I'll confess, some of the details were hard to commit to memory because I'm sure I was laughing until I had to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Steve Bryan told me this story one night after Bible Study and I've been meaning to share it, but if you've ever heard one of Steve Bryan's stories, you can understand how hard it is to repeat and get it to be as funny as Steve told it. Steve has a way of telling a story like nobody else.

The story starts with Steve and his wife, Suellen hooking their pickup up to a trailer. The Bryans were heading down to Sam Spicer's so that Steve could make a deal on a pickup truck he wanted either for a parts truck or a fixer-upper. I can't remember which, but it's not important to the story. He'd never seen the truck, so he was taking Sam's word that it was what Steve wanted. Steve made it down to Spicer's near Hazelton and examined the pickup. It wasn't what Steve was wanting, so the deal didn't happen.

Now knowing Steve, he probably didn't want to be rude, so I can see him shutting off his truck and staying for a visit. Sam and his dog and Steve and Suellen spent some time talking (the dog probably didn't do much talking. I would guess Steve and Sam did most of the talking.) Some time passed and knowing Suellen, she probably gave Steve the sign that he'd done enough visiting and it was time to get home. The Bryans loaded up in their vehicle and headed north on Tri-City Road back to their home north of Medicine Lodge.

Now remember, this entire trip was with a pickup truck with a car trailer attached in anticipation of Steve purchasing another truck and hauling it home.

When Steve and Suellen reached the old 160 Hwy near Sharon he looked in his rear view mirror. To his shock he realized that he hauled Sam's dog home on their car trailer. There was Sam's dog, lying comfortably in the middle of the trailer, completely content as a stowaway on the Bryan's trip home. Steve guesses that Sam's dog, like Suellen, got bored with the conversation and decided a nap on the trailer was better than listening to Sam and Steve.

Now, nearly 9 miles away from Sam's place, the Bryans had to turn this big trailer around and haul Sam's dog home.

According to Steve, Sam's dog enjoyed the drive around the southern part of the county on Steve and Suellen's trailer. If you'd like Steve to take your dog for a ride on his trailer, call him at SolutionsBank for an appointment. Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 14, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Step back soccer moms.

Things got slightly carried away last week during a soccer game held at Krug Field.

Norm Clouse and I were only joking around when the pushing started. My kid was on one soccer team and his on another. When his daughter’s team scored, he got a little bit excited and gave me a shove nearly knocking me over.

My rooster instinct kicked in and I shoved back.

I just wanted to let all know who were present that this was just guy-horse play. We were just excited about our kids competing and playing the game of soccer. There’s no battle going on between the grocery store guy and the newspaper guy. It was all fun and games - except for the fact that my kids’ team lost the game.

? ? ? ?

If you have kids who love music or you are a fan of original punk / emo rock, there will be a concert on April 25th at the American Legion Building.

Imminent Domain, winner of the MTVU’s Summer Battle of the College Bands, will perform. This band was also the 2006 KPAK Battle of the Bands winner. They put on a great show and they are a neat family. I hope you can come!

This will be a NO ALCOHOL family event.

The concert is cosponsored by area merchants. For more information, see page 9. We’ll have a story about the band in next week’s Premiere.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 7, 2008 - By Kevin Noland

Richard Wortman stopped by my office last Tuesday to schedule my lynching.

Wortman, like many others ventured down to the courthouse last week after buying Monday’s paper to see the famed time capsule.

Surprise! It wasn’t there. It was my April Fools joke.

After toiling over what I would do as my master April Fools joke, I came up with the idea of pranking as many folks as I could through the fake article about the time capsule discovery.

If you read the article carefully, you might have picked up on some of the obvious humor. A man named "Quibs" was mentioned. My column’s name is KWIBS. Also he was a "barber" and friends with Thomas Barber.

Medicine Log. Medicine Lodge’s long lost original name. Did you fall for it?

Xie Gallagher in the Treasurer’s office was quick to act when she realized my prank. She printed up signs stating, "If you are here to see the time capsule that was in the paper, it has been moved to The Gyp Hill Premiere on Main Street. Ask for Kevin Noland."

She posted them all over the courthouse and I prank called the Clerk of the District Court asking where I could see the time capsule.

I told Xie that it would have been funnier to say something like "The time capsule had termites and had to be removed from the building. It is now at the County Road and Bridge building on Isabel Road."

I couldn’t convince her to play along.

News of the time capsule travelled more quickly than I expected. The story was also posted on our Internet website at www.gyphillpremiere.com. By the end of the day, I had several emails wanting more information about the artifact.

Kim Fowles wrote:

"Was the date really 1855? I am searching SD newspapers through their historical society and can't find any published in 1855."

It was all I could do to contain myself.

One of my friends said, "I speed read all the articles and I missed the part about reading KWIBS for more information.

The day wasn’t all fun and games. One of my readers called and told my staff that she didn’t find the story funny at all and it was the responsibility of the newspaper to be trustworthy. I agree, but I did not leave my readers hanging. The truth was out there. You just had to read.

My favorite story comes from my son Joey. Joey called me from school on Tuesday, April 1st. Whispering into the phone he said, "Dad, my teacher just mentioned the time capsule story to the entire class and he is really excited about it and asked if any of us had heard about it or seen it."

It was all Joey could do to maintain his composure.

So, I hope you all aren’t too mad at me!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 31, 2008 - By Kevin Noland     

April Fools' Day or All Fools' Day, though not a holiday in its own right, is a notable day celebrated in many countries on April 1. I know it’s sure celebrated at our house.

The day is marked by the commission of hoaxes and other practical jokes of varying sophistication on friends, my kids, my wife, enemies and neighbors. The aim of which is to embarrass or prank the gullible. In some countries, April Fools' jokes (also called April Fools) are only made before noon on 1 April. I like to celebrate all year long.

Thinking back on some of the pranks I have pulled instantly sparked column material. A lot of which I have done, I can’t print for fear of prosecution or worse, retaliation.

A few years back on April 1st I got the kids up for school and fixed them breakfast. Little did they know, I had filled the bottoms of their cereal bowls with rubber fishing worms! That’s probably the one prank I remember doing to my kids.

My wife and I played an April Fools joke on another couple here in town (name held to protect their identity and to comply with the protection order they might file on us).

It started innocently enough with us jacking their car off the ground and putting blocks under the axles. We did this in a manner that the tires looked like they were on the ground, but they weren’t. My friend got in his car for work, hit reverse, looked back and took his foot off the break, but didn’t go anywhere. Classic.

The next morning I got to work, walked into my office and was ensnared by fishing line. His wife had gotten a key and come into my office earlier and strung fishing line from every conceivable point in my office. I spent over an hour with scissors cutting my way back in. Classic.

There was also this time when my wife decided to fill up Dr. Meador’s Lincoln Towncar with styrofoam peanuts. This resulted in a truce being called and the air vents professionally cleaned. Classic.

One of the greatest pranks ever played on us was the time our former cleaning lady came into our house and completely turned everything upside down and inside out. She rearranged furniture, moved pictures and did a number on our living room. The best part of the joke was that my wife thought I did it and she spent all evening crying because she thought it was the meanest thing I had ever done to her! Classic.

Now for the meanest prank ever - that would go to our former Editor, Mr. David Fasgold.

If you remember a few years back, I had some heart trouble. After a week in the Kansas Heart Hospital and three stents, I was home and on the mend. A day or two into my recovery, David sneaked in to my office from behind and blew a trombone in the back of my head. I lived, so the work on my heart was obviously a success. Classic, but twisted and mean.

I pranked him back by waiting until he was in the restroom and stacking boxes and metal folding chairs against the door. I did this so quietly that he didn’t hear me and when he opened the door, everything fell in on him. Classic.

I wish I had invented the April Fools holiday, but I didn’t. Throughout history, there have been some very classic pranks. Here’s what I found.

In its April 1985 edition, Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch, and he could reportedly throw a baseball at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. This was 65 mph faster than the previous record. Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans celebrated their teams' amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the author of the article, George Plimpton.

In 1962 there was only one tv channel in Sweden, and it broadcast in black and white. The station's technical expert, Kjell Stensson, appeared on the news to announce that, thanks to a new technology, viewers could convert their existing sets to display color reception. All they had to do was pull a nylon stocking over their tv screen. Stensson proceeded to demonstrate the process. Thousands of people were taken in. Regular color broadcasts only commenced in Sweden on April 1, 1970.

In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced that it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.

In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

On March 31, 1989 thousands of motorists driving on the highway outside London looked up in the air to see a glowing flying saucer descending on their city. Many of them pulled to the side of the road to watch the bizarre craft float through the air. The saucer finally landed in a field on the outskirts of London where local residents immediately called the police to warn them of an alien invasion. Soon the police arrived on the scene, and one brave officer approached the craft with his truncheon extended before him. When a door in the craft popped open, and a small, silver-suited figure emerged, the policeman ran in the opposite direction. The saucer turned out to be a hot-air balloon that had been specially built to look like a UFO by Richard Branson, the 36-year-old chairman of Virgin Records. The stunt combined his passion for ballooning with his love of pranks. His plan was to land the craft in London's Hyde Park on April 1. Unfortunately, the wind blew him off course, and he was forced to land a day early in the wrong location.

So in case you’re wondering, the story on the front page this week "Time capsule unearthed, reveals city’s original name might have been Medicine Log" is actually a hoax. I wanted to have some fun with everyone and hope it doesn’t ruffle too many feathers.

My Nephew Ryan Landwehr was born on April Fools Day. I’m sure he’ll be thinking up ways to one up Uncle Kevin!

Have a great week

Medicine Log! hehehehe

 

KWIBS - From March 24, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

Some randomness for me this week.

Hi, my name is Kevin and I am an American Idol watcher (everyone say "hello" Kevin).

I’m sad to say, but I am hooked on this show. It’s brilliant up to a certain point. That point is when America gets to vote.

I wish I had an American audience. I sort of do through our website, so maybe everyone in America will read my column on line this week at www.gyphillpremiere.com/kwibs.html

America, did you finally figure out how to use your phones to vote this week? Thank you so much for finally voting off Amanda Overmyer. Surely you all figured out as soon as I did that this girl can’t sing and had NO PLACE on this show. That was like week 1 of the finals.

? ? ? ?

Now lets talk politics.

Do you like Borok Obama? How could you not? He’s against the war, but strong on terrorism, a Christian, but not affiliated with his crazy uncle-like pastor, sort of raised Muslim, but not really, mostly black, but a little white.

Do you like Hillary? How could you not? She worked for the poor, while serving on the board of directors for Walmart. She’s pro American, but supports free trade, for NAFTA, but against it, has a lot of experience in the White house, even though recent records show she wasn’t there much and spent a lot of money on vacations during Clinton’s administration and wants healthcare for all of America. Yeah! Oh wait, she wants small businesses like mine to foot the bill.....

Do you like McCain? I haven’t a clue what he’s all about! He looks like a nice old guy and I know he proudly served our country in time of war, served as a POW, and has been a senator for like 100 years and I am going to vote for him.

I wish we could somehow figure out a way to make a show called "American President". It would work just like "American Idol". First you would audition hundreds of potential finalists and then you would narrow it down to 12 contestants that were of no party affiliation whatsover. They would have to perform for all of TV land to see and then we could pick up our phones and vote them through the competition. This process would be cheaper for America and we could skip all the mudflinging and just get down to who is more talented!

I’m guessing Hillary singing "Unchained Melody" would have gotten her kicked off week 1.

? ? ? ?

The Euro was up to near $1.60 to our U.S. Dollar last week. the only reason I even know this is because I get a daily briefing from Nick Gaertner, German Foreign Exchange student, living with John Nixon, our neighbor.

It used to be kind of cute to hear him give the report, but now I am just kind of tired of it. Not tired of Nick, but tired of our dollar not doing so good.

Come on U.S. dollar. You can do it! You’ve been strong for so long. Don’t give up now! Some of us have gotten our tax returns and more are on the way. And soon we’ll all have our magic rebate checks to spend and strengthen our economy. Or some of us will run with our money to WalMart and buy crap made in China, strengthening their economic grip on our country. Can you take the hint here? Shop at home and buy American products when possible. That is the only way to strengthen our economy - from the inside out.

? ? ? ?

Finally, I read last week that a guy is selling his entire life on Ebay sometime this summer. The guy wants to sell his house in Pertth, Australia, his car, motorcycle, jetski and personal possessions after a nasty break up with his wife of 5 years. What? She didn’t get $40 million? She must not have married a former Beattle. No, this is just an average Joe who wants to start over.

Also included in this auction is the sale of his friends and his job. If you win, you get his job for a two-week trial and he’ll arrange for you to meet his friends. Starting price of his auction will be just shy of $400,000.

I’ve got to run. I just got my rebate check in the mail and I’m going shopping for a new life! Have a great week!!

 

KWIBS - From March 17, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

Three years ago in KWIBS I wrote about how little I actually knew about prom.

Now that I am about to put my 4th prom behind me, I feel that I am somewhat of an expert.

I have had 4 years of my own experience with proms in high school and dates at all of them (including multiple dates my freshman year). I know much more about prom now. At least from a male perspective.

As I’ve learned, from looking at my credit card statement, prom is big business. When you have the gentler of the two chromosomes in your home, it becomes an even more expensive and emotionally draining venture.

Dress shopping was something I used to avoid like the plague by being conveniently busy. Yes, I got out of it and it was to my daughter’s advantage as well as my advantage. Me being forced to go shopping with Breeann for evening attire is nearly as cruel as the time I took her to a tool sale where I spent over an hour shopping for locking pliers.

I had to change my evil ways this year because mamma wasn't around to do the shopping. She was in New Mexico with our boys on spring break. This left me in charge. I had penned off Tuesday for the trip and prepared mentally for shopping with my teenage daughter.

I kept replaying in my mind.

Prom dress $75?

Lunch/Supper $30?

Fuel $30?

Years drained from my life - 1.5?

In reality it was:

Prom dress $180

Lunch/Supper $60

Fuel $60

Years drained from my life - 3

We started the Wichita prom dress shopping trip with a stop to my cousin's office. He's a chiropractor. I figured an adjustment to my spine would be a good start. He told me that as the day went on and my wallet got emptier, I would begin to feel relief in my lower back. However, the pain would move to my head.

Our first stop was to a shop on East Douglas. The shop had sent Breeann an advertising catalog complete with models (who couldn't possibly have been high school girls) wearing formal gowns. The gowns were advertised at "Starting at $99". When we got there, I couldn't find half of a formal that started any where near $99. In fact, the average price was $400-$600.

I tried a "kill two birds with one stone" move.

"Hey Breeann, if you bought this white one, in a few years you could just get married in it!," I said in my smartest, fatherly voice.

She just glared at me and said, "OMG, Dad. It's not a wedding dress. It's a prom dress. Just take me to the mall."

So off to the mall we went. Four shops and five prom dresses later she had found what she thought she liked. Even though my knees were throbbing from the 20 miles of walking from shop to shop I had just done, I kept it as low pressure as possible.

"Dad, you know that there are some other prom dress stores in the other mall," she said.

Thinking quickly I pointed out that if we got all the way to the other side of town and she didn't find one, there was a possibility that this one would be gone. It was, after all (and to my advantage), the last one in the store. We took a walk through the mall and stopped at a couple of other stores before she made up her mind to go back and buy the dress.

I was saved.

The dress came home in a pretty expensive looking garment bag and a hanger that looked like it cost more than my old ratty jean jacket that gets thrown over a doorknob. And to think, I wear that jacket almost every day and she’ll only wear that dress once! I was totally going to score on that hanger….

So dads, I have some advice for those of you who are just beginning the prom adventure for the first time or have daughters coming of age.

Start saving now or begin selling blood plasma while they’re still young (clarification: your blood, not their blood….)

For girls, prom means it’s time to tan. I like a good tan and appreciate having dark skin, but news flash: It’s dark where they have prom! Not only will her date barely see the expensive dress I bought her, he won’t notice the tan unless he carries a densitometer. Tanning begins, at the very least, a month before prom.

Tanning sessions $45

Somewhere in prom history it became necessary for woman to have their real fingernails filed and buffed down to a dull finish and fake, long, synthetic ones glued on over the top. This may be some type of self defense weapon used to ward off other females that ask to dance with their date. I’m not sure, but open up the wallet guys….

Fingernails $30

Polish $5

Prom day finally arrives, but the giant prom money sucking machine is still turned on.

Within five minutes of saying the word "prom" every hair dresser in a 50 mile radius becomes booked up. By mistake, in the past we've waited until 3 weeks before prom to make an appointment locally. With no options for local hair styling left, it meant another trip back to Wichita.

Hairdresser $30

Hair accessories $10

Lunch $30

Fuel $60

Prozac – $100

Sorry guys, even though your cash is depleted and your last credit card just burst into flames when it was swiped, you are not finished.

Make up $15

Picture package $35

Prom night tickets run about $10 (if you’re lucky, her date will pay!)

Prom guys don’t get off too easily either. A good tux will cost you at least $100+ to rent. You also have to take your date somewhere nice to eat and you’ll be expected to buy her flowers.

Grand total (for estimating and budgeting purposes only) of prom 2008 could be around $1,000,000.

Seeing how beautiful my daughter looked as she emerged from the dressing room, wearing the dress I helped her shop for, was simply priceless. And to think, it's my last one before I have to think of which kidney to sell when she decides to get married.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 10, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

Medicine Lodge lost one of its greatest philosophers on Friday, February 29. Rod Henke "bought the farm" or "kicked the bucket" after a long illness.

What? Yes, you read that right.

There isn’t meant to be any disrespect towards Rod or his family. They will agree that Rod was the king of euphemisms. He’d be the first to tell you that he’s "pushing up daisies".

As a kid growing up with Rod’s kids, Tate and Adam, I used to think Rod was the scariest guy in town. I always thought he was as tough as nails and harder than steel. That guy ate concrete for breakfast. I thought that about Rod until I was older and had graduated from high school. Rod was actually a pretty gentle, kind-hearted guy, once you got past the rough edges.

Rod was a giver and a helper. If you look back at the years of Boy Scout Pinewood Derby race pictures, you’ll see Rod in about all of them.

Even if you don’t even know who Rod was, you probably saw him around town. Usually dressed in overalls, Rod made his rounds on Main Street and pretty much lived on Taco Tico. I guess I would describe Rod as being one taco short of a combination plate.

In recent years Rod’s health had deteriorated, but that didn’t stop him from getting around. He went from Cushman Scooters to a mobility scooter and he always looked like he was being towed around by his dog.

If you knew Rod, you knew that he had an opinion about nearly everything. You got Rod’s opinion whether you wanted it or not. Rod would tell you that opinions were like _____________, everyone has one, but nobody wants to hear the noise they make. Feel free to fill in the blank with your own ideas.

Rod was a frequent visitor at the Premiere. He would stop in and ask us if we had any reading material for his puppies. We are an all-purpose newspaper......

Rod had a saying for everything and he taught us a whole new language growing up. A lot of what he taught us I can’t print in the paper, but for every situation, Rod had a saying. We called it "Rodology" - the language of Rod.

A lot of what Rod said made good sense to us. It was kind of a truth humor. I remember him at Tate’s shop telling his son that whatever he was working on was going to be as useful as a screendoor on a submarine or as useful as a wooden frying pan.

In honor of Rod, I want to share some funny sayings. Many of these I heard from Rod.

* He was as scared as a longtailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

* Don’t bother me right now. I’m as busy as a set of jumper cables at a Mexican wedding.

* I’m as frustrated as a one legged man in a butt-kicking contest.

* Busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger.

* I think you are a few clowns short of a circus.

* The village called. They want their idiot back.

* You’re a fortune cookie short of a Chinese dinner.

* You have a photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

* She’s ugly enough to scare a buzzard off a gut wagon.

* It takes you 1-1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

* What you did there was about as bright as a burnt out 20 watt light bulb.

* You are an experiment in Artificial Stupidity

* He’s as bright as Alaska in December

* She couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel.

* You’ve got a full 6-pack, but lack the plastic thingy to hold it all together.

* He dove into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t watching

* Has two brains, one's lost and the other is out looking for it.

* He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

* He’s got a mind like a steel trap, rusted shut.

* His cheese has slipped off his cracker.

* If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.

* If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change back.

* Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

Rod will be missed. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 3, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

I hadn’t given a lot of thought to this, but last week I realized my child would be graduating high school in a few months.

I’ve known she was potentially going to graduate for about 6704 days now. Go ahead, do the math.... I actually didn’t make that number up. I just never really thought the time would creep up on me this quickly.

I was told once that having a teenage daughter was like trying to nail jello to the wall. I kind of understand the meaning of this insanity.

There is no way of explaining how difficult it is to go through the motions of the senior year, graduation and then off to college.

A couple of weeks ago we took a college day. This time to PCC. We spent the day at the college meeting a lot of nice folks and getting a taste of what Breeann will need to be successful in her major.

Breeann is interested in becoming a school teacher. We couldn’t be more proud of her for thinking of this. She has given it careful thought and for once, her mother and I agree that this is a good field for her. She is interested in becoming a preschool teacher!

Great! I thought. I know she can color and stay in the lines. I’ve seen her do a fantastic somersaults and she can say her ABCs flawlessly! Give that kid her degree and let her start working!

Well, if only it were that easy. Becoming a teacher, even a preschool teacher, takes a lot of time and education. It won’t be easy, but it will be an incredibly rewarding job.

The tour of the college brought back a lot of memories for me. I went to school there from 1988-1990. I had been back to the college a couple of times since I was a student there, but I hadn’t been back, really back, to where the student life was happening.

We walked the halls and I remembered where certain rooms were. I saw a couple of class rooms and remembered what classes I had taken there almost 20 years ago. The student cafeteria and recreation hall was just being built and was completed about the time I left.

The library was pretty new when I was a student there. I even ran into a former instructor and we shared some stories about my college days.

We continued our tour of the campus and our guide began explaining the process for enrollment, financial aide and scholarships.

All at once I felt a strange sensation. It might have been that I had just gotten over the flu or it could have been a panic attack. As we stopped at the cashier’s window and were handed the fees schedule, the hallways suddenly got narrow and long and I felt myself grabbing for the wall so that I didn’t pass out.

I was warned by a friend last year that the senior year is the most expensive year of the student’s elementary education and then it got worse when they went to college. My friend couldn’t have been more correct. There have been activity fees, enrollment fees, college/high school class fees, invitation fees, cap and gown fees and other "fees" associated with the status of the class. My friend didn’t mention the, oops - I wrecked my car fees, I need a new dress for Sadie Hawkins fees, my college day trip fees, I went over my text messaging limit fees and the list goes on and on....

I had heard that college is expensive and as I looked down the schedule of fees, I could hear cash registers laughing in my head.

There was actually a fee for the paying of the fees "fee". In order to begin making payments you must first pay a $35 fee to set up your account.

Sadly, I have only just begun.

The good news is that PCC is offering her scholarship opportunities, work study, financial aide and success programs that will help her with her future. I think she’ll be in good hands.

The other good news is that she’ll live in the dorms and get to have the college experience and only be a short drive away from home. Her brothers are already casing lots for her room, but I’ve got news for them. I’m making into a weight room!

Just kidding Breeann - Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 25, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

I want to send a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my littlest man of the house! Nicholas turns 10 today. Wow! Double digits!

I remember when I turned 10 years old back in 1979. The reason I remember it, was because it was the defining age when I couldn’t decide what I wanted for my birthday anymore. I was almost out of the toy stage, but I really wanted this cool Space Ship Adventure People set with astronauts. I also wanted to spend it with this really cute girl and didn’t want her to think I was a geek for playing with space ship toys.

I did end up inviting the girl to my birthday party and I got the really cool Space Ship Adventure People set too. It was at that moment that I had a tough decision to make. Did I play with the girl or the space ship? Well, I chose the Space Ship and hundreds of Star Trek episodes later, I am still a geek. Fortunately, I found a girl that could tolerate me playing with space ships. I married her and made three little geeks of my own.

So Nicholas, my advice to you is don’t get in a hurry to grow up. And always enjoy life’s space ships!

Here’s a photo of Nicholas and our dog, Hyde, sharing a cookie.

? ? ? ?

Like many, I spend a considerable amount of time writing emails to friends and acquaintances. Most emails are just forwards of good jokes that I thought someone else should enjoy.

For quite a while now, I have had somewhat of a pen pal in a former Doctor from Medicine Lodge. You old-timers (I’m almost with you) will remember him - Dr. John Hoffer.

Doctor Hoffer was my family doctor before Pete Meador came with his Practice back in the early 80s.

He now resides in sunny Florida.

He keeps a few of us up to speed with his busy life. At 90-something, (hate to give away his real age), he’s still very active and is still of very sharp mind. I look forward to his weekly emails about his adventures to dinners, musicals and concerts. He has a better social life than most of us 30-somethings and I would dare to say is probably the most intelligent man I have ever met in my short life-span.

Dr. Hoffer had read my KWIBS from a couple of weeks ago about bottled water and wished to join the discussion. I was honored that he took the time to write to us.

Note to Kevin Noland in response to his learned discussion about drinking bottled water:

I shall try to deliver an equally qualified lecture although I can't present any scientific authority.

For 20+ years we depended on Culligan or Miracle Water (now Eco Water) in M.L. Softened water is usually preferred for the source of water to be treated. I am referring to reverse osmosis water treatment.

First the water must pass through a filter to render the water crystal clear, free of tiny visible particles, then an activated charcoal to remove any chlorine which tends to destroy the essential part of the system, the semipermeable membrane in its own replaceable capsule. Each of the three capsules need replacement from one to three years. No other water system except distilled water can equal the purity of water treated this way, and distilled water is very expensive because of the enormous amount of energy required..

The semipermeable membrane system allows pure water alone to slowly permeate this membrane and be collected and stored for use.

A system to supply whole house with treated water can be expensive, but a system designed to furnish only 3 to 5 gallons daily for cooking and drinking only cost us less than $500 and lasted many years.

The best demonstration of proof is simple but not often used.. Take several perfectly clean glass slides of the kind used for microscopic examination and place several drips of different waters on the several slides. Then place the slides on a warm platform for evaporation in a reasonable time..... Careful examination of each dried plate will usually reveal a faint crystalline residue on most all specimens except distilled water, or water from a reverse osmosis system. This faint visible residue represents trace amounts of dissolved substance sometimes toxic but its nature unrevealed because of costs of specific analysis.

I thoroughly recommend investigating this system especially in this time when many possibly toxic substances may be added to irrigation waters.

Sincerely John G. Hoffer, M.D.

Dr. Hoffer would enjoy hearing from any old acquaintance from the area. If you get a moment, drop him a note and get on his email list. You can email him at:

JGHoffer@tampabay.rr.com

 

KWIBS - From February 18, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

I wish I had an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.....

Last summer I took my two boys, Nicholas and Joey to the McConnell Airforce Base Airshow. I remember it was one of the hottest days of summer. Our mission was to see the Blue Angels.

We wondered around the displays for several hours before the performance. The blistering heat made us spend a lot of money on water and we looked for shade at every stop.

When the Blue Angels Pilots appeared, a long line formed for autographs and pictures. Of course my kids wanted to do that - that was until they saw the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

We quickly cut out of line and Joey posed for this photo.

It was one of the highlights of the entire day.

Last week I was flipping through the news and ran across the following article. I rushed home to share it with the boys. We all got a good laugh.

Wienermobile wipes out

Famed vehicle spins, crashes

on snow-covered PA highway; 'hotdoggers' OK.

February 11, 2008

Reprinted with permission

By George Osgood

gosgood@stargazette.com

Star-Gazette Wellsboro Bureau

MANSFIELD -- Let's be frank: motor vehicle accidents aren't much fun for anyone.

But when a 27-foot-long tube-steak spins out on a snow-covered highway, it's bound to generate some grins.

That's what happened Sunday to an Oscar Mayer Wienermobile on Route 15 about two miles south of Mansfield (at least it didn't roll over).

The growler contained two "hotdoggers" -- driver Emily Volpini, 22, of Lexington, Ky., and Caylen Goudie, 22, of Hinsdale, Ill. Although they didn't relish the experience, they weren't hurt, investigating state Trooper Rex Johnson said.

"Hotdoggers" are goodwill ambassadors for Kraft Foods and Oscar Mayer. There are 12 of them in the country -- two for each of the six Wienermobiles. They spend a year on the job traveling around the country. Part of their job is to recruit their replacements.

On Friday and Saturday, Volpini and Goudie and the iconic frankfurter were at Syracuse University, fulfilling the promise to the winner of "A Weekend with the Wienermobile" contest. Sunday morning, the women and the wiener on wheels headed south toward Penn State, where they will try to recruit candidates for the 2008-09 hotdoggers from a stable of Nittany Lion hopefuls.

Mother Nature intervened, though briefly, at 12:20 p.m., putting the plastic porksicle on the median and out of service.

"We thought we had come out of the blizzard," Goudie said. "We thought we were through it. Then we hit a patch of ice. The Wienermobile weighs 7,000 pounds, so usually ice and snow isn't much of a problem. It was this time."

Stuck, Volpini called 911 dispatchers in Wellsboro. Though skeptical at first, they notified state police at Mansfield. As passersby called in the crash on cell phones, the dispatchers became convinced that the barkburger was indeed in hot water.

Police contacted Dave Kurzejewski of Costy's Truck and Auto Mart, and he showed up in short order with a heavy four-wheel-drive vehicle and some chains. Johnson, the trooper, grilled the women briefly and concluded that a routine and sober spinout was all he had on his plate.

Kurzejewski hooked up and Emily fired up the highway hot dog, and a few well-timed tugs later, the Wienermobile was back on the highway.

For Kurzejewski, veteran of hundreds of tows over the years, Sunday's experience was a new one.

"I've pulled out a lot of vehicles," he said. "But that's the first wiener I've ever pulled out."

It was a first for the women, too. They left none the wurst for wear.

"Usually we try to keep from scratching our buns," Goudie said. "But sometimes, things go wrong."

? ? ? ?

I want to give a quick HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Sister Rhonda. She qualifies for 30-something spankings today!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 11, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

Writer’s block is a phenomenon involving temporary loss of ability to begin or continue writing, usually due to lack of inspiration or creativity.

At least that is how the encyclopedia defines it. I also define it as: waiting too long in the week before starting your column and realizing you don’t have anything to write about.

In an average week, by Tuesday evening I have a column idea for the following Monday.

I didn’t last week.

It was Thursday morning and I was up at about 6 a.m. and I was jotting down some subjects. None of them tripping any of my several triggers.

It wasn’t that I had waited too long. I mentioned to Doris that I was struggling for an idea on Wednesday morning. I always ask her what she is writing and she said, "I’m writing about Valentine’s Day."

Darn it. Why didn’t I think of that? And why was Doris already writing her column? I’m usually paging her on Friday afternoon going, "Hey, uh, did you know we’re putting out a paper on Monday and I have this hole on page two and three. I think it might be where your column is supposed to go."

But there she was Wednesday morning, writing her brains out with a subject that I should have been thinking about. Valentine’s Day! I couldn’t steal that from her. She thought of it first, so I looked at the calendar to see what else was happening.

Hmm... Lincoln’s birthday was falling on Tuesday, February 12. He wore a funny hat! Nope, I got nothing.

Doris asked, "How long have you been writing your column?"

I thought back. Way back.

In 1989 my dad moved to Missouri and I remember being in the composing room at the Index early on a Wednesday morning before press time. I was looking at page two where my dad’s column "KWIK KWIBS, JR." was supposed to be and asking, "Hey, what is going here?"

Before KWICK KWIBS, JR., it was just KWICK KWIBS. That was a column my Grandpa Bill Noland wrote starting in the early 1960s.

Nobody had really thought of what was going in that empty space since dad had moved and I didn’t have anything else pressing, so I said, "I’ll write KWIBS this week."

I can’t remember exactly what I wrote, but it had something to do with my dad moving and that hole being filled. I was only 19 at the time and in college part time. I knew my dad would be getting the paper in the mail and would see that I wrote something that was probably horrible (some things never change). I waited for the dreaded phone call telling me that I couldn’t write KWIBS, but it never came.

So I started KWIBS almost 20 years ago and have written an average of 45 columns per year since. That is somewhere in the neighborhood of 900 columns. The paper goes out to around 1000 readers each week and since 1995 is read by another 1200 per week. That’s over a Brazilian readers.

Here are some statistics of KWIBS:

55% of the columns dealt with silly stuff

25% of the columns were about my family

12% of the columns were about friends

5% of the columns had political overtones

4% of the columns were religious in nature

.036% of the columns were about my terrible math skills.

In my 20 years of writing. I have received around 20 nasty letters about my columns, 1 death threat, 90-100 sneers and probably a few more compliments.

As Doris and I continued talking about our columns, we discovered one common denominator. There is a great satisfaction when a column is completed. Sometimes it’s only the feeling of, "wow, I filled this space." But more times than not, it is a feeling of, "I got my thoughts down on paper and it sort of makes sense to me." We just sit back on Monday afternoon and hope that everyone who reads it also gets it.

I hope 101% of you have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From February 4, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

I can’t help myself. I fall into the category of gullible when it comes to purchasing bottled water.

Bottled water is one of the most profitable schemes ever devised to deprive people of their money. I say that as I look at my water bottle to the right of my desk.

In the western world, tap water is about as safe as it can be and it is relatively cheap. Yet people like me are prepared to pay up to 1,500 times as much when the same stuff comes in a bottle.

I’m also the same guy who gripes about paying $3.00 a gallon for gasoline and walks into the quick shop and pays $1.25 for the 20 oz. plastic bottle of water. The gasoline goes through more of a purification process than they put that bottled water through most generally, but then again, I am not going to drink gasoline.

One of the strangest thing about this whole bottled water phenomenon is that this bland commodity made its impact in Britain in the late 1970s at the height of a recession and with raging inflation. There was a general lack of money in people's pockets (and brains as it seems), yet bottled water became an overnight success.

When purchasing bottled water my argument is.... it does taste better than tap water. However, in an article I read on water taste, studies show those who professed to be able to tell the difference failed miserably. The testers used Evian and Highland Spring against local tap water - three waters which had very different characteristics from each other. Even so, only one-third of the 140 people got the correct answer. That is exactly what one would expect to get by chance.

Bottled water is a necessary evil when on vacation in places such as, Mexico, South America and Wichita..... I’ve been a victim of Montezuma’s revenge and it isn’t pretty. I did learn that you not only have to be careful not to drink the water, but also be aware that ice in drinks is nothing more than frozen water from the same area as the water comes from. Duh.....

Now, before I go and get myself into trouble with my local water guy, Leroy Seiler, let me say that his water is absolutely wonderful and is filtered and bottled in a way that guarantees its taste and freshness. I don’t mean for this to be an ad for Eco Water, but it’s a product I believe in and use daily.

Listen though, I’m talking about off the shelf bottled water here, not Leroy’s water. There’s a big difference.

Natural water is never purer than when it falls as rain. Once it hits the ground, however, all that changes. Seeping into the soil, it moves underground through passages and caverns carved over the millennia, eating away at the rock and dissolving metals, salts and minerals along the way. As it goes, its character changes, depending on the type of rock through which it passes. Eventually, it arrives in underground lakes or aquifers - the sources of most bottled mineral waters. And in Kansas, it might travel across a cow patty or two on its way.

Like I said earlier, I’m sinfully guilty for buying this stuff, but I am trying to change my evil ways.

I look at it like this now. I might buy a bottled water when I’m out on the road somewhere and not sure about the quality of the water.

When I do purchase the bottled water, I look for information on how it is filtered, if it is filtered at all and then I look at the purchase from a completely different perspective. I decide that I am making an investment in a plastic bottle and the water is basically just a free gift with the purchase.

I reuse my water bottle for as long as it holds together through the washes and daily abuse it takes. And yes, I refill it with water from Leroy Seiler at Eco Water. Generally, I can get a few weeks out of a water bottle provided I don’t lose it before the end of its life expectancy. But I am thinking a good water bottle from the store will probably cost me $7.00 and I could expect for it to last at least a year.

You have to admit though, someone had a marvelously stupid idea when they went into that marketing meeting with this sales pitch: "We’re going to bottle water and sell it to the people!"

What will they think of next?

Bottled air?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 28, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

Attention all of you arm chair quarterbacks, referees and coaches. Superbowl XLII is February 3rd! For those of you non Romans, that’s Superbowl 42.

Don’t be the guy sitting there with nothing to add to Sunday’s Superbowl conversation. I have found 42 interesting facts about the Superbowl.

Enjoy! (Go NYG!!!)

XLII facts about Super Bowl XLII

I. This is the 42nd Super Bowl and the second time it has been held in Arizona. Super Bowl XXX was held at Sun Devil Stadium in Tempe, Arizona (Cowboys 27, Steelers 17).

II. The NFC leads 21-20 all-time but the AFC has won eight of the last 10 games after losing 13 straight.

III. The AFC is the home team in this year’s Super Bowl.

IV. To date 3,205,733 people have attended Super Bowl games.

Careful when you cheer when the coin toss comes up heads ... winning the pregame toss doesn't mean a Super Bowl victory.

V. No Super Bowl has ever gone to overtime.

VI. The team that has won the coin toss is 19-22 all-time in the Super Bowl and has lost the past four straight and nine of the last 11 games. The Patriots lost the coin toss in each of their three Super Bowl wins. They won the coin toss for Super Bowl XXXI and lost the game; they lost the coin toss for Super Bowl XX vs. the Bears and also lost that game. The Giants won the coin toss in Super Bowl XXXV and lost that game; they lost the coin toss in both Super Bowls XX and XXV and won those games.

VII. The Giants-Patriots Super Bowl is the 12th Super Bowl to feature two teams that met during the regular season. The team that lost the regular-season meeting has won six of the previous 11 matchups. The last matchup was Super Bowl XXXVI between the Patriots and Rams (Rams won regular season; Patriots won the Super Bowl)

VIII. The Giants-Patriots Super Bowl is only the second time that the two Super Bowl participants have met in the final regular season game; the other occurrence was in 1977 when the Cowboys and Broncos met in Week 14 and then in Super Bowl XII. The Cowboys won both games. (The Giants and Patriots also met in the final game of this year's preseason; The Patriots won that game 27-20).

IX. The Patriots have 20 players with Super Bowl experience on their current roster; the Giants have three.

X. Patriots LB Tedy Bruschi will be playing in his fifth Super Bowl; he is the 15th player to play in five Super Bowls. He is the seventh player to play in five Super Bowls with the same team, joining Larry Cole (Cowboys), Cliff Harris (Cowboys), D.D. Lewis (Cowboys) Charlie Waters (Cowboys), Rayfield Wright (Cowboys) and John Elway (Broncos).

With another Super Bowl MVP award, Tom Brady will tie Joe Montana for the most all-time.

XI. 21 Quarterbacks have been named MVP of the Super Bowl, the most of any position.

XII. Tom Brady is one of four players with multiple Super Bowl MVP awards –- the three others are quarterbacks as well: Bart Starr (2), Joe Montana (3) and Terry Bradshaw (2).

XIII. Tom Brady is 1 of 4 players with three Super Bowl wins as a starting QB. The other three are Terry Bradshaw (4), Joe Montana (4) and Troy Aikman (3).

XIV. Tom Brady is the 23rd NFL MVP to play in the Super Bowl in the same season. The last MVP to win a Super Bowl the same season was Kurt Warner in Super Bowl XXXIV in 1999. Overall, 10 NFL MVPs have won the Super Bowl in the same season. In 1968, Earl Morrall won the NFL title but lost Super Bowl III to the Jets.

XV. The Patriots are making their sixth Super Bowl appearance –- and fourth in last seven years. The Patriots are the fourth franchise to make six Super Bowl appearances, joining the Cowboys (8), Steelers (6) and Broncos (6).

Bill Walsh won all three times he led the 49ers to the Super Bowl.

XVI. The Patriots have won three Super Bowls; with a win they’ll join the Steelers (5), Cowboys (5) and 49ers (5) as the only franchises to win 4 Super Bowls.

XVII. Bill Belichick is the eighth head coach to appear in four Super Bowls. The others are Don Shula (6), Tom Landry (5), Chuck Noll (4), Joe Gibbs (4), Bud Grant (4), Marv Levy (4) and Dan Reeves (4).

XVIII. Belichick is one of four coaches to win three Super Bowls. The others are Chuck Noll (4-0), Bill Walsh (3-0) and Joe Gibbs (3-1).

XIX. Since 2001, the Patriots are 24-7 when meeting teams for the second or third (Jets, 2006) time in the same season.

XX. Junior Seau is making his second Super Bowl appearance; the first since Super Bowl XXIX. The 13 years between Super Bowl appearances is the longest span in the game’s history.

XXI. The Patriots are the third team to win 18 games in a season, including playoffs. The ’85 Bears (18-1) and ’84 49ers (18-1) also won 18 games.

Junior Seau's Super Bowl XXIX experience was a bitter one.

XXII. The Patriots are the 11th team to go 10-0 at home, including the playoffs. Of the previous 10 to accomplish the feat, 8 of them won the Super Bowl (only the 1990 Bills and 1988 Bengals lost).XXIII. The Patriots led the NFL with 36.8 PPG this season, the highest in the Super Bowl era.

XXIV. The Patriots are the 17th team to lead the NFL in scoring and reach the Super Bowl. The previous 16 teams are 9-7 in the Super Bowl (last two -- the ’05 Seahawks and ’01 Rams -- have lost). The last team to lead the NFL in scoring and win the Super Bowl was the ’99 Rams in XXXIV.

XXV. The Giants will be playing in their 18th NFL title game dating back to 1933. The Giants have won five NFL championships in their history –- including two Super Bowls.

XXVI. The Giants' 18 NFL championship game appearances are the most in NFL history.

Eli Manning was a No. 1 overall pick, but was originally selected by the Chargers.

XXVII. Eli Manning is the seventh No. 1 overall pick to start the Super Bowl at quarterback; the others are Peyton Manning, Drew Bledsoe, Troy Aikman, John Elway, Jim Plunkett and Terry Bradshaw.

XXVIII. 18 sets of brothers to have reached the Super Bowl. Eli and Peyton Manning are the first set of brothers at quarterback.

XXIX. Eli Manning is the only quarterback in the 2007 playoffs yet to throw an interception. Of the 12 quarterbacks in the 2007 playoffs, he had the most interceptions during the regular season (20) -- tied for the most in the NFL with Jon Kitna and Carson Palmer.

XXX. Eli Manning is the seventh quarterback in the Super Bowl era (since 1966) to throw 20 interceptions in the regular season and reach the Super Bowl.

XXXI. This is the second straight season in which the NFC quarterback in the Super Bowl threw 20 interceptions in the regular season (last year, Rex Grossman threw 20 interceptions, and threw three in the playoffs, two in the Super Bowl). The other to throw 20 interceptions during the regular season and then reach the Super Bowl are Kurt Warner (22 in 2001), Phil Simms (22 in 1986), Terry Bradshaw (25 in 1979 and 20 in 1978) and Darryl Lamonica (20 in 1967). The only two Super Bowl quarterbacks to throw 20 interceptions during the regular season and not throw one in the playoffs were Boomer Esiason in 1990 and Simms in 1986.

XXXII. Tom Coughlin is coaching in his first Super Bowl as a head coach. Head coaches making their Super Bowl debut are 20-22.

XXXIII. Tom Coughlin has coached 205 career games, including the playoffs. That is the most games coached before making a Super Bowl debut as a head coach.

XXXIV. The Giants are 10-1 away from Giants Stadium and 3-5 at home this season.

XXXV. The Giants are the third team to reach the Super Bowl by winning three straight road games, joining the ’05 Steelers and ’85 Patriots.

Hines Ward helped the wild-card Steelers win Super Bowl XL.

XXXVI. The Giants are the ninth wild-card team to reach the Super Bowl. Wild-card teams are 4-4 in the Super Bowl. The ’05 Steelers were the last wild-card team to win.

XXXVII. The Giants are the fourth team to reach the Super Bowl following a 0-2 start. They join the ’01 Patriots, ’96 Patriots and ’93 Cowboys.

XXXVIII. The Giants are the only team in NFL history to win 10 straight road games in a season.

XXXIX. Bill Belichick (15) and Tom Coughlin (7) have 22 postseason victories combined, tied for the second most in Super Bowl history among opposing coaches and surpassed only by the 25 combined playoff wins by Tom Landry and Chuck Noll in Super Bowl XIII.

XL. Giants long snapper/linebacker Zak DeOssie’s father Steve DeOssie played in Super Bowl XXV as a member of the Giants (Belichick was the defensive coordinator of that Giants team). The DeOssie’s are the ninth different father-son combo to reach the Super Bowl.

XLI. When he appears in the game, Jeff Feagles will be the oldest Super Bowl participant at 41 years, 335 days. The previous oldest was Mike Horan at 40 years, 363 days. Feagles began his career with the Patriots in 1988.

XLII. Giants DE Justin Tuck and Patriots LB Adalius Thomas are cousins. Tuck’s father and Thomas’ father are first cousins. - From NFL.com

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 21, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

If it doesn’t work out exactly the way you wanted it to, then cry.

That seems to be the trend last week. Just before the New Hampshire Primaries, Hillary Clinton made a tearful plea to voters when she learned she was behind in the polls to Barack Obama and she almost came to tears as she defended her reasons for running for the presidency.

Hillary Clinton showed some emotion and it won her New Hampshire. Alpha males everywhere sighed. They collectively rolled their eyes and asked: does crying help a woman get what she wants?

People really don’t have any idea of the stress she’s under. She’s tired, hormonal, she has people touching her hair and fussing with her makeup. Obama probably doesn’t have to participate in discussions on whether it’s best to pluck his eyebrows or not.

I’m not saying it wasn’t genuine emotion, but maybe it was just a little bit inappropriate in her situation. Crying might get you out of a speeding ticket, but it shouldn’t help you win the position of the most powerful leader in the free world.

Can you imagine Ronald Reagan and Mikel Gorbachev during negotiations to eliminate intermediate-range nuclear missiles if Reagan would have cried?

Reagan: Please Mr. Gorbachev, we’ve increased our military spending by 35% this year and eventually, sniff-sniff, we’ll bankrupt both of our countries if we don’t stop spending like this.

Gorbachev: You’re being a big cry baby. I don’t buy your Hollywood drama for one minute. I’m pushing the button. I mean it Ronny!

Reagan: Sniff-sniff..... But what about all the good work I’ve done for the free world?

Gorbachev: Okay, let’s hug. Here’s my hanky....

Reagan: While we’re at it, sniff-sniff, can you tear down that Berlin Wall?

Frankly, I think our country needs a leader with, well, equipment that Hillary just doesn’t have..... It’s only my opinion.

? ? ? ?

And alright all of you Cowboy haters (and Kenny Joe Rinke), here’s your moment of ZEN: T.O. (Terrell Owens) crying in the post-game press conference after the Cowboys became the first #1 seed since the NFL playoff format was changed in 1990 to lose its playoff opener.

He wore pitch-black aviator shades to his postgame news conference. And he needed them to shield his eyes, which dripped tears when the subject turned to Tony Romo.

"It’s not about Tony," he said, his voice even and flat. "You guys can point the finger at him. You can talk about the vacation. ..."

His voice trailed off, then cracked and wobbled. But Owens continued on. He fought to contain his sobs, blurting out sentences between them.

"If you do that, that’s really unfair," Owens said. "Really unfair. That’s my teammate. That’s my quarterback. We lost as a team. We lost as a team, man."

Somebody give that guy a tissue and then slam him to the turf. Get a grip man. You’re a Dallas Cowboy, not a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.

Everyone knows the reason Dallas lost their playoff game is because I wore my Tony Romo jersey and everytime I’ve worn my jersey the Cowboys blow it. I even wore my jersey to church one Sunday and they lost. Last weekend I wore it to Bible Study and still no help. It’s all my fault, sniff-sniff. I’m shopping for a Tom Brady jersey this weekend, sniff-sniff.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From January 14, 2008 - By Kevin Noland  

Somehow, somewhere cell phones sneaked up on us and became a necessary evil in our lives. I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but I can’t imagine living without one now.

Years ago cell phones were enormous devices, carried in heavy bags or boxes that only a few elite citizens could afford. Now everyone has one.

I remember my first "portable" bag phone. It weighed about 30 lbs. You had to stop and get out of the vehicles on high ground, put a magnetic antenna on the roof and pay like $1 per minute to get something that sounded like AM radio.

Without argument, the cell phone has been one of the greatest inventions of the modern communication era. You can now be accessible almost anytime, anywhere. Those are the pro’s. The con’s are you are now accessible almost anytime, anywhere.

So really the pro’s and con’s cancel each other out. When you top off the fact that people who talk on cell phones in public places are annoying, then you have way more con’s than pro’s.

Here’s an example:

You’re in a book store. Generally, book stores are like libraries and they are quiet. Some woman walks into the aisle you are in and she’s reading the back of the book to someone on the other end of the phone. Only, this lady is so loud you would have thought she was calling in an air strike on a Pacific Island over a WWII radio.

"The book is about people who talk too much and how to make them stop!"

A perfect way to handle something like this would be to shout back in an equally loud voice, "HEY EVERYONE, SHE’S ON THE PHONE, BE QUIET!"

As if always having a phone to the side of your head isn’t annoying enough, now they have those Blue Tooth devices. These are the devices that make the user look like they are Uhura from Star Trek. This is some great technology. Too lazy to hold the phone up to your ear? Try this device.... The only thing better is if the user were to dematerialize into thin air. Beam me up, Scotty. *Poof*.... applause....

I see people wandering around talking to themselves and I think, poor crazy people. Then I get closer and I see they have something sticking out of their ear - some of them anyway...

And if you are going to be receiving multiple calls, you should have a different ring tone for everyone who decides to reach you.

My daughter is a habitual offender of ring tones. She actually just got her phone back from a two week hiatus after charging nearly $90 worth of ring tones to my account.

When I got the bill my first words were, "Is this a phone or a jukebox?"

When her boyfriend calls her phone plays, "My Baby Loves Me Just The Way That I Am" - by Martina McBride.

When I call it’s, "Papa Don’t Preach" - by Madonna.

Well not really, but that’s what I feel like.....

I know this guy and when his wife calls his cell phone the death star theme from Star Wars plays. It’s hilarious.

And texting.... oh my. I wanted to hate message texting up until the time I began using it.

It’s brilliant!

If you don’t like talking to people and wish your conversations could be shorter and on your terms, then you need texting. I actually prefer being texted than having to answer the phone and speak.

Conversation: "How R U?" - "IM Fine". End of conversation.

You can also get news sent right to your phone now. Several news agencies let you subscribe to their news text services. Last week I got this message: U.S. & BRITISH FORCES ATTACKED A HOUSING ESTATE IN PAKISTAN TODAY. 250 ARE REPORTED DEAD AND 400 INJURED. A SPOKESMAN SAYS THEY WILL ATTACK THE SECOND HOUSE TOMORROW.

Oh, I have to go - call waiting.....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From December 24, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Here it is, my favorite publication of the year. It’s the one with the Letters to Santa.

Why do I like this edition most? It’s because kids ask for the funniest things from Santa for Christmas.

I always have my favorites. This year is no different with the exception of what one little fellow wants.

He simply writes:

A dirt bike guiter hero monkey marbl run labtops PSP PS3 girlfrend - new bed.

Love Tallyn

? ? ? ?

I suppose, if I could sit on Santa’s lap this year and ask for anything I wanted, I would be stumped.

Sure, I’d love more money, a new truck, a 50" plasma display, a brand new Fender P-Bass, and the list goes on and on..... But I have everything I need.

I have a beautiful wife, three great children, many family and friends, a roof over my head, plenty to eat and my freedom.

But there is the difference between wants and needs. I want lots of stuff, but I don’t really need anything (Maybe some new socks and underwear). My needs are met and the greatest gift I have is God’s love - his Son Jesus and my family and friends. What more could a person actually ever need?

Luke 1: 30 But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. 31You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. 32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."

God Bless you and Merry Christmas!

 

KWIBS - From December 17, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

 

I received this from Bill Barnard last week and got such a kick out of it that I had to share it with you all. I will be sending one. I hope you do too!

HOPE YOU ALL WILL TAKE THE TIME AND 41 CENTS TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA - IT ONLY TAKES A CHRISTMAS CARD!!!!

What at clever idea!

Send them a card....

Yes, Christmas cards.

Want to have some fun this CHRISTMAS? Send the ACLU a CHRISTMAS CARD this year.

As they are working so very hard to get rid of the CHRISTMAS part of this holiday, we should all send them a nice, CHRISTIAN card to brighten up their dark, sad, little world.

Make sure it says "Merry Christmas" on it.

Here's the address, just don't be rude or crude. (It's not the Christian way you know ;)

ACLU

125 Broad Street

18th Floor

New York, NY 10004

Two tons of Christmas cards would freeze their operations because they wouldn't know if any were regular mail containing contributions.

So spend 41 cents and tell the ACLU to leave Christmas alone. Also tell them that there is no such thing as a " Holiday Tree". . .

It's always been called a CHRISTMAS TREE!

And pass this on to your email lists. We really want to communicate with the ACLU! They really DESERVE us!!

For those of you who aren't aware of them, the ACLU, (the American Civil Liberties Union) is the one suing the U.S. Government to take God, Christmas or anything Christian away from us. They represent the atheists and others in this war. Help put Christ back in Christmas!

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From December 10, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

I’m "taking a knee" this week so that Deana can have a word.

Briefly, but with great conviction, I again remind you to shop at home this Christmas season. I really believe that we can make a difference in our community simply by shopping with our local merchants. Many retailers in the big city make more than 50% of their gross annual sales during the holidays. Wouldn’t it be cool to put that money into our home town?

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From December 3, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

This might sound really sad, but I dread Christmas. I don’t dread the celebration of the birth of Christ, I dread the getting ready and gift-giving part. Don’t get me wrong, I love to give, I just hate buying stuff that people may not actually want or even need.

I knew how I felt when I got my 10th pair of fake-deerskin slippers. I just tossed them in the back of the closet. I figured eventually I would either like to wear them or grow 4 more pairs of feet and have a use for them.

Every Christmas has been the same since my childhood. I would get 2 or 3 really good gifts and the rest were just stinkers.

I remember a few years ago I got some pretty bad gifts and put them in the pantry. A few weeks went by and my oldest son and I decided to go out and shoot guns for the afternoon. We didn’t have anything to shoot at and suddenly I had this bright idea. Why don’t we target practice on the bad Christmas gifts? This is all in fun. I am grateful for all the gifts I receive, especially cash and gift cards!

Here are some ideas of things you can do with unwanted Christmas gifts.

Regifting! You have to be super careful when re-gifting. First, you don’t want to regive a gift to the person who gave it to you in the first place and second, you have to be careful that it is a "regiftable" gift. For instance: Nobody knows that you regifted a fruitcake from last Christmas. Everyone knows if you regift a puppy.

Tell your family you were robbed! A simple solution... Burgle yourself! (Trash the crap and tell everyone you were robbed. Avoid all queries as to why the burglar chose 10 pairs of bikini underwear and cheap chocolates over your DVD player and PC).

Make a contribution! Wait for the next time a little kid comes knocking on the door looking for sponsorship in a walkathon, bikeathon or readathon or whatever-athon they are having. Rather than sponsor with money, dig deeper (into the pile), hand over the Celine Dion CD and brand new $1.99 digital watch with the dead battery.

Create something from your bad gifts! By the time they've given you toaster number 28, you have enough to dismantle and make your own tanning lounge. Threaten the kids with toasting if they won't eat their veggies.

Okay, so some of that was just being mean, but you understand where I am coming from. Sometimes there is just too much pressure in giving gifts.

? ? ? ?

You’re probably thinking that I am a Scrooge, but I’m really not. We have fun at our house!

I know that the Christmas tree symbolizes the season, but I sometimes dread that too. I know that the weekend after Thanksgiving my football game will be interrupted with, "Honey, why don’t you go out into the garage and get the tree?"

What I really hear is, "Hey, get off your butt. I don’t care that the Cowboys are tied up with 2 minutes to go in the game. Tip toe across the cold concrete floor, stand on a ladder and throw your back out trying to pull that tree off of that dusty shelf!"

It’s all good once the tree is put together and my attitude always changes as each layer of branches gets unbent and stabbed into position.

Ronda puts on her traditional Christmas music and it reminds me of why I hate Kathie Lee Gifford and everyone else who thinks they can sing and should put out a favorite Christmas music CD.

After arguing where the tree should go, our tree went together in about an hour. And to my surprise, I only had two bulbs burned out this year. That’s one more than last year. I put those towards the back. Eventually we’ll be down to one light and I’ll know it’s time to buy a new string.

It’s my job to put the tree together. It’s Ronda’s job to dig out the ornaments and it’s the kids’ jobs to decorate the tree. It’s also Ronda’s job to take down the Christmas decorations. That usually happens at 12:01 a.m. December 26th.

The kids make the tree decorating a full contact sport. They make fun of each other’s ornaments and someone usually ends up crying. That process takes around an hour and always results in some broken ornaments and a tree that leans to one side.

After the kids go to bed, Ronda and I redecorate the tree.

Have a great week!!!

KWIBS - From November 26, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

I don’t know what I was thinking, but I had skipped breakfast last Monday morning. I was sitting in my office and my stomach was making that processing sound without food present.

I had lost track of time, but when I heard the whistle blow, I knew it was time to take a break and get some lunch!

I ran out to my truck and looked at my clock. It was only 11 a.m., not noon.

Uh, that would have been the noon whistle I heard, but someone forgot to "Fall Back".

I ran into Ted Hauser, City Administrator on Tuesday. I mentioned the whistle blowing at the wrong time. It must show my age. I’m griping about things like the whistle blowing at the wrong time. I’ll just let everyone know right now to stay off my lawn.

Ted informed me that, "It’s not the city’s job."

"In fact, when it blows at 11 a.m., it wakes me up from my nap," he said jokingly.

Apparently, it’s the county’s job to set the clock for the noon whistle. I think it should also be the county’s job to set the clock on my VCR that’s still flashing 12:00 a.m., but I and my stomach would settle for the whistle blowing at noon and not at 11 a.m. on Monday.

? ? ? ?

I’m not meaning to pick on Ted Hauser, but I have a funny story from last weekend.

I ran into Ted during the raffle drawing at the Christmas Open House in Medicine Lodge. Ted was pretty sure he was going to be a winner that day. Most everyone I spoke with was convinced they would win the grand prize meat bundle. It was mandatory that you be present to win this item, so almost everyone was there.

Ted was there. I’m sure he thought he was going to be a winner and he was! Ted’s name was drawn. I believe he won a candle. Ted was so excited that he ran off to show his wife. When he did, they drew again for the grand prize - the 300 lb. meat bundle. Guess who’s name was drawn? That’s right - Ted Hauser! Well, he wasn’t present, so he lost the meat bundle to Faye Whelan and I’m sure Ted’s wife is saying, "Where’s the beef?"

? ? ? ?

Here’s one that will make you say, "duh."

While blondes may have more fun, a new study suggests that fair-haired ladies may be making those around them dumber.

Researchers found that men's scores on general knowledge tests drop when they are shown photos of blonde women, the Sunday Times of London reported.

Upon further inspection, it was found that the test subjects were not distracted by the light hair, but driven by social stereotypes to "think blonde."

"This proves that people confronted with stereotypes generally behave in line with them," Thierry Meyer, joint author of the study and professor of social psychology at the University of Paris X-Nanterre, told the Times of London. "In this case blondes have the potential to make people act in a dumber way, because they mimic the unconscious stereotype of the dumb blonde."

The study indicates a belief by scientists that stereotyping is a powerful driving force in interacting with others.

Another waste of government money...

? ? ? ?

Folks, if you haven’t noticed, gasoline is $3.19 a gallon. I’ve always been an advocate for shopping at home, but now more than ever you have a reason. If you’re shopping for Christmas gifts and you are looking to save on an item because it is a few dollars cheaper in Pratt or Wichita, I would encourage you to buy a calculator while you are there because you are not going to save money.

Take a day and look at your local retailers. If they don’t have what you want, they can probably get it for you. You’ll not only save money, but you’ll put money into your local economy as well.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 19, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

The list of contaminated toys "made in China" keeps getting bigger and bigger.

I’m sure if I spent some time digging through my kids’ toys, I could come up with enough lead to poison the entire grade school.

What shocks me the most about toys made in China is the sheer quantity of toys that are made there. I was watching the news at lunch on Monday and the news anchor listed only a few companies in the United States that make toys. Let me tell you - they are few, and the ones that are made in the good ole’ U.S.A, well, frankly they are terrible toys. I know I wouldn’t want to play with them if I were a kid.

I’m going to discuss some of these toys and why they are terrible. This is a real website where you can go and purchase real toys that are made in the U.S.A. Some aren’t too bad, but in the spirit of my column, I am focusing on the ones that are just stupid....

The website is: www.fatbraintoys.com

Soda Pop Kit - Invent your own secret soda formulas, create some fizz, experiment with flavors and colors, conduct taste tests, and get started on your life of obesity and type II diabetes. What kind of ploy is this? If you buy this toy for your kid and your kid doesn’t die in his or her mid-thirties, good job parent!

Good Luck Egg Micro-Terrarium - Remember the funny uncle who smelled like sandal wood, liked Pink Floyd and always had Oreo cookies stashed in his room? When you finally kill the plants included with this toy, you can start your kid off learning how to grow their own illegal substances in the upstairs window of your home. Hemp seed not included. Good luck with your 5-7 year prison sentence.

Fort Canister (Lincoln Log Knock-Offs) - Made in the USA since 1930, this Log Building set is still made of real wood and still tastes just as bad as they did when I was a kid. Remember how they would stain your mouth brown?

Collectors Edition Slinky - Now your kid too can be bored stupid with a coiled up piece of metal that comes no where close to making it down the stairs as shown on TV. I always wanted to watch the person who gave me this toy topple down the stairs. The only fun I had with a slinky was to hand my sister one end of it and say, "hold this", as I stretched it out and let it fly back towards her at super slinky speed. Sorry about that sis.

Gold Plated Slinky - For the rich, bored kid.

Super-Snow Bulk Bag - Simply combine water with Super Snow, stir and instantly make boredom! The more you stir, the more it shines and sparkles! The more it shines and sparkles, the less friends you have. An actual review of this product read: "Super Snow was horrible. Not as good as original product (Sno) that this product copied. It was too slushy regardless of the amounts of snow or water we used. (Note From Fat Brain Toys: We apologize Super Snow was a Super Slush. Mr. Hood was contacted and will be returning Super Snow for a full refund.) I just can’t get over that someone copied this toy in the first place!

Pick-Up Sticks - I know, you’re saying, "Hey, I had those as a kid." Now admit how terrible they were and think of the health risks. Give your kid a sharp pointy object and hope to God they don’t poke their eye out or their friend’s eye out. Do you remember Yard Darts? Now that was a cool game, but you don’t see those on the shelves anymore either do you?

By the way, Pick Up Sticks are believed to have originated in ancient China of all places.

Dinosaur Marshmallows - Great, the real reason dinosaurs became extinct. Our kids ate them.... I’m not even going to begin to describe how dumb this is.

Okay, so these are pretty wholesome toys and would probably be fun for like 5 or 10 minutes when it is pouring down rain outside and the electricity is off, but come on....

No wonder why China is kicking our butts. America, we need to get creative.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From November 12, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Well, if this isn’t a bunch of crap, I dont know what is.

I can’t believe it. I even printed it on my own paper! What really stinks is I didn’t pay much attention to it at first.

As part of a creative fundraiser, The Barber County Jr. Leaders are preparing to hold what they call, "Cow Chip Bingo". I just sensed several old ladies perking up at the mention of BINGO, but wait, there’s more.

In this country-style fundraiser, 100 squares will be drawn on the ground. Each square will be sold and half the proceeds will be given to the lucky person who owns the square in which the cow leaves its first cow pie!

Hilarious... I love small-town living.

Approximately $500 will be given per cow.

In a release from the Wendy Prosser, this "Chippin´" good time is set to take place on Sunday, November 18th at 5:00pm following the Medicine Lodge Christmas Open House and Craft Show. It will be located at the corner of Kansas and Oak in Medicine Lodge.

While waiting for the "chips" to fall a freewill donation supper will be served. The menu includes homemade ham and beans and country stew. If you would like to get in on a piece of the "pie" you can purchase your squares from the Jr. Leaders booth at the Medicine Lodge Christmas Open House and Craft Show from 1pm to 5pm that day. You can also contact Paula Doman (620-886-3971) or Wendy Prosser (620-886-5714). Tickets are $10 for each square.

You do not have to be present to win, but you´ll miss out on a great time. The Jr. Leaders are using the proceeds from the fund raiser to go skiing in Colorado this Spring.

I wonder, if you win do you get to shout some explicit?

? ? ? ?

In Britain last week, health officials decided that Santa is too fat! Santa is being told to slim down for the Christmas season because Santa is too obese and is failing to set a "good example" for children.

This revelation comes after a medical report earlier that stated by 2050 more than 50 percent of Britains will be obese, and probably toothless.

There must be an evil think tank somewhere that sits around and thinks of ways to further screw up Christmas. First they take Christ out and make it Xmas and then we make Santa a skinny guy. I’ll bet these guys are the same people who convince the big shopping centers to put out Christmas stuff right before Halloween.

And they're even sending Santa to boot camp!

Bluewater's Santa Boot Camp is getting Santa in shape and setting a good example to children who idolize him.

I'm all about excercise. I think it should be a part of everyone's life, but I'm not sure Santa is a bad example for children.

Besides, has anyone not noticed that this fat guy seems to be the epitomy of health? He's been around for more than 1500 years, doesn't ever seem stressed and has plans to be around for many years to come with no plans for retirement.

I can see a skinny Santa at the mall and kids lined up to sit on his.... uh, leg.

"Ouch Santa, You're bony knee is hurting my fat little behind," said Timmy.

I'm thinking we should lay off Santa and focus on Timmy here. Timmy should switch out his after school potato chip bag for a banana and lay down the video game controller, pick up a soccer ball and go outside! When he does finally sit on Santa's lap and asks for candy and video games, Santa should give him a loving squeeze and say, "Not this year Timmy. I'm bringing you a Total Gym XL3000! HO-HO-HO!"

Come on. Leave Santa alone. Can you imagine being a skinny guy flying around the world in the dead of winter at 30,000 feet, delivering presents to children and not having the extra padding?

Have a Jolly week!

KWIBS - From November 5, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

In 1918, on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day in the eleventh month, the world rejoiced and celebrated. After four years of bitter war, an armistice was signed. The "war to end all wars" was over.

In 1921, an unknown World War I American soldier was buried in Arlington National Cemetery.

Similar ceremonies occurred earlier in England and France, where an unknown soldier was buried in each nation's highest place of honor (in England, Westminster Abbey; in France, the Arc de Triomphe).

These memorial gestures all took place on November 11, giving universal recognition to the celebrated ending of World War I fighting at 11 a.m.

Armistice Day officially received its name in America in 1926 through a Congressional resolution. It became a national holiday 12 years later by similar Congressional action. If the idealistic hope had been realized that World War I was "the War to end all Wars," November 11 might still be called Armistice Day. But only a few years after the holiday was proclaimed, war broke out in Europe.

Realizing that peace was equally preserved by veterans of WW II and Korea, Congress was requested to make this day an occasion to honor those who have served America in all wars. In 1954 President Eisenhower signed a bill proclaiming November 11 as Veterans Day.

A law passed in 1968 changed the national commemoration of Veterans Day to the fourth Monday in October. It soon became apparent, however, that November 11 was a date of historic significance to many Americans. Therefore, in 1978 Congress returned the observance to its traditional date.

On Friday, November 9th, our community will gather at MLHS to honor our area's veterans. The ceremony will be held in the MLHS Auditorium at 1:15 p.m. Mr. Hill’s junior history classes will have the Memorabilia Museum at the Christian Church Family Live Center from 9 a.m. to noon. This is a very cool museum and kudos to Mr. Hill for keeping this tradition alive.

It has become an annual celebration of great importance. If you have never been to this program, I encourage you to attend.

Every day 1,000 WWII veterans die. Soon a generation of kids will no longer be able to say they knew a veteran from WWII.

Over the past year, I was privileged to take part in a project that has recorded the memories of 50 WWII veterans. You've read about it in the newspaper and I don't need to go into great detail about it. The project met its goal of 50 veteran interviews. Approximately 30 of these WWII veterans are from around the Medicine Lodge area. 16 of the interviews were from the South Barber area and were completed by the Kiowa schools before the project began. One interview was from a veteran near Protection, Kansas and the remainder were scattered throughout Barber County.

The oral accounts and the video taped interviews will be available from The Lincoln Library and will also be a part of the media center to be located at The Greater Barber County Historical Action Association’s Heritage building on HWY 160.

Since the time the interviews began, we've lost 3 of these veterans. One in particular that was dear to my heart was Bob Gilmore. I had known Bob since I was just a child. It was such an honor to hear his story. It was an honor to hear all of the veterans' stories. It's for veterans like Bob Gilmore that we honor them with a celebration at MLHS.

WWII is only the beginning of the veterans we honor in our community. Several wars and conflicts later, our community continues to have their sons and daughters serve their country in peace time and in times of conflict. All of them deserve our praise and gratitude.

And finally, Phelps's abuse of the first amendment may be coming to an end. As a Kansan, I applaud the decision by the jurors to award nearly $11 million in damages to the family of Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder. And I pray to God that Phelps and his group, or any group for that matter, are censured from disrupting any more time of mourning for families laying to rest their fallen sons and daughters. This is distasteful and does not represent the love of Christ that my Bible so clearly displays. God Bless the Snyder family and God Bless every family who lost someone in the line of service to their country. Remember our Veterans with honor this coming Veterans Day.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 29, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

"Green car. NO!!!!!"

That’s all the poor kid could cry as Ronda and I left Newcastle, OK last weekend in David’s Explorer.

I pulled up the drive way behind her and took 2-year-old Ben Fasgold’s photo as he reached out towards the vehicle that he had apparently become so attached to all his short life.

David Fasgold was ready for a new vehicle and made us an offer we couldn’t refuse. As you know, David and his family moved to Newcastle, OK nearly one year ago. I was going to be going to Oklahoma City over the weekend, so it just seemed like a good opportunity to take Ronda with me to drive the Explorer back to Medicine Lodge.

Ben was just a little guy when he left Medicine Lodge a year ago, but he was still happy to see us when we got there. He took Ronda by the hand to show her his latest toys in the driveway. David and I slipped off to finalize paperwork and exchange money for merchandise while she kept Ben entertained.

We knew something was up by the concerned look on his face when we were checking over the Explorer. For being so young, he knew something was transpiring and he told us several times, "My Green Car." It was half question and half matter of fact.

But when Ronda jumped in the front seat and hit the ignition, the tears flowed as "Green Car" drove away.

David gave me a call a day later to tell me Ben was doing better, but he was pretty tore up about "Green Car". As it turns out, the tears didn’t stop flowing when the car was out of sight. Ben cried himself to sleep with, "Green car gone" and "bye-bye Green car....." The first words out of his mouth the next day were, "Where’s Green Car?"

Of course David wanted to know if I was happy with the car and I told him that it got really good gas mileage on the way back and everything checked out fine.

When I say "checked out fine" I mean things like:

a) it starts

b) it goes forward and backwards

c) it stops

d) the stereo kicks butt

For those of you who know David, you know he is very meticulous about his vehicles. Before we got to Newcastle he cleaned it all out and detailed it. It actually had the greasy feel and new car smell to it. He had even bought new sparkplugs, but hadn’t had the time to install them.

When I got there he actually felt bad because he forgot to tell me that one of the door locks wasn’t working all the time. It was really no big deal, but he was concerned that he had forgotten to tell me.

In actuality, the car was in even better condition than I remembered.

Ronda drove the Explorer back to Medicine Lodge that afternoon with no issues.

Then on Monday morning Ronda took off in "Green Car" to go get the newspapers from the printing plant. Just 15 miles from our house Bambi entered the roadway and Ronda laid on the horn. The horn didn’t work. That was probably check point "e" that I didn’t check before I left Newcastle. It didn’t seem important.

She slammed on the breaks, but it wasn’t in time and "Green Car" hit brown deer. Ronda, shaken, got out of the vehicle to check the damage and to see if she killed the deer. The deer jumped up and took off. The Explorer wasn’t quite as lucky. The headlight housing was busted and the blinker light was broken out, but other than that, no cosmetic damage - just a bunch of fur sticking out of the bumper cover.

I emailed David to tell him about the car.

"I want my money back. The horn doesn’t work."

David called me later and felt really bad.

"I don’t remember ever having to honk the horn," he said.

I believe him. He’s that kind of guy.

He did say that there were deer horns on the vehicle and was surprised they didn’t work. I told him that they were probably installed backwards.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 15, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Last month I was awarded a prestigious position as owner of my very own Fantasy Football team. This coveted position is only bestowed on one when a previous owner: a) moves away; b) doesn’t pay their entry fee and shows no interest; c) dies.

Fortunately for both the former owner and myself, it was b.

I was completely and utterly in the dark about this secret underground football league and was lucky enough to have training and instruction from longtime friend and neighbor Mark Rice. My team was already picked out and positioned by the former owner. I just had to manage my team.

Remember I knew very little about the sport, but I’m a quick learner and I am now seeing football more as entertainment and not an excuse for a Sunday afternoon nap. I still napped through the Dallas vs. St. Louis game, 35-7, Dallas.

I’m now calling my league commissioner weekly for my stats, looking up my own information on the internet and I am even switching players around. So far, so good.

I always have watched/napped football games in the past. It is something of tradition in our home to go to church on Sunday, rush home to eat and then fall asleep on the couch watching the games. My wife might actually be a bigger football fan than I am. From Dallas, TX, Ronda always wants to watch the Cowboys play and over the years, she sucked me in to being a Dallas fan. Years ago my father-in-law even took me to see a Dallas Cowboys vs. Houston Oilers game. Now they are called the Houston Texans, which I thought was kind of dumb. That would be like changing the name of the Kansas City Chiefs to the Kansas City Kansans or the New York Jets to the New York New Yorkers.

Ronda may be a fan of football, but she has even less knowledge of the game than I have. Two weekends ago Dallas scored against the Chicago Bears and she shouted, "Home Run"! I gave her a puzzled look and she instantly corrected herself, but the damage was done. Now the whole family shouts "Home Run" when a touchdown is made!

She’s not the only person to have ever said something silly about the sport. Many NFL players and coaches over the years have made some pretty funny comments on and off the field.

Last Monday evening after the game Tony Romo, Dallas QB, was asked about his 4 turnovers in the first half vs. the Buffalo Bills and he said, "Really? It was only 4? I thought it was more......"

Let’s face it. Most football players aren’t highly regarded for their intelligence (not to say there aren’t some smart guys playing the game). And as a result, the large amount of time they spend in front of a microphone answering questions can lead to some very amusing moments.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental"

- Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies

"It is beyond my apprehension."

- also Danny Ozark, manager of the Philadelphia Phillies when asked by reporter what he thought of his team during a losing streak.

"Well, we’ve determined that we can’t win at home and we can’t win on the road. What we need is a neutral site."

- John McKay, the first coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, during the inaugural season of 1976 when the Bucs endured a 0-14 record.

"Well, we didn’t block real good but we made up for it by not tackling."

- John McKay, the first coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, during the inaugural season of 1976 when the Bucs endured a 0-14 record.

"You guys line up alphabetically by height."

- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.

- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

- Bill also gets extra credit for these inspirational words:

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."

- Joe Theismann, ESPN Announcer and Former NFL Quarterback

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

(Norman? Is he related to Albert? I guess we know who isn’t a genius.)

- Torrin Polk, University of Houston Wide Receiver

- When asked about his coach John Jenkins, he said...

"He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."

And next he’s going to let them paint their fingernails?

- Former New Orleans Saints RB George Rogers

"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first"

- Dick Butkus, Former Chicago Bears Linebacker

"I wouldn’t ever set out to hurt anyone deliberately unless it was important — like a league game."

- William Perry, Former Chicago Bears Defensive Tackle

"I’ve been big ever since I was little."

- Jerry Rice, San Francisco 49ers Wide Receiver

"I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that."

- Lee Corso, College Football Analyst

"Hawaii doesn’t win many games in the United States."

- Bob Hoying, Ohio State Buckeyes Quarterback after winning a Big Ten title for Ohio State...

"I’m really happy for Coach Cooper and the guys who’ve been around here for six or seven years, especially our seniors."

Thomas "Hollywood" Henderson, Former Dallas Cowboys Linebacker commenting on Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw’s intelligence...

"He couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the C and the T."

I hope this makes you feel better sweetheart.....

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 1, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

There are several important birthdays that a person has growing up. Turning 10 is the double digit birthday, turning 13 is the beginning of teenage years and at 16 you can drive.

When you finally reach 18 you are considered a legal adult, but little do you know how much growing up is left to do.

Heck, I’m going to be 38 this week and my family and friends will tell you I am no where near grown up. I’m not sure what the magic age for me will be.

But even though my birthday is on Thursday and you can send gifts and money to me at the address of this newspaper, this isn’t about me.

This is about Breeann.

Breeann was born 18 years ago this Wednesday to a couple of young parents who had no idea what kind of ride their lives would be.

She wasted no time capturing our hearts and minds and we became a family because of her birth. Now we are a family of five with one of our family members reaching a time in her life that will lead to her independence as an adult (not that I am trying to force her out the door or anything...... just yet.)

It’s a big birthday, Sissy. Life is coming at you fast from here on out. As your daddy I can only offer you a few honest words of advice. - When passing something to another whether it be heavy, hot, a liquid or food, do not pass it over someone’s head as it may accidentally slip out of one’s hands.

Okay, I’ve got nothing. I’ll think of something smart to tell you. Happy Birthday Breeann. I love you!

KWIBS - From September 24, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

"Man, I want a Chuck Norris butt and abs," I said as I watched the Total Gym infomercial late one night on TV.

I said that out loud at least 50 times. That’s only half the number of times I had seen the commercial. Chuck Norris is so cool. He can kick people in the head and act. Okay, he can kick people in the head, but they don’t give out Oscars for that.

Every week I would ask my wife, "Hey, wouldn’t I look good with a Chuck Norris _______?"(insert Chuck Norris body part of the week.

I kept telling her we should get one of those!

She would tell me, "That would be a great place to hang our laundry to dry. Like your Ab Lounge 2000."

I’ll have her know, I have used that Ab Lounge several times. In fact I watched TV in it the other night and even took a little nap in it.

When I bought that little piece of exercise technology, I dreamed of a washboard stomach. Even though my stomach might look more like a fuzzy bagel, I still dream of one day showing off a six pack. She’ll just have to settle for a keg right now.

I remember thinking the day I bought it, "I wonder what the Ab Lounge 1999 and under models looked like?"

One day a few months ago I decided to look into the Chuck Norris Total Gym. I found one in Wichita and tried it out. It didn’t seem hard, which is a bonus when working out, but the next day I was terribly sore in several places. I knew if I was hurting, this thing must have worked because at my age any type of exercise that doesn’t hurt is usually called something like "fantasy football".

The only downside I could see to the Total Gym was the fact that it cost as much as a small car. After I saw the price (and my wife found out how much it was), it was obvious I wouldn’t be buying a Total Gym anytime soon. Besides, there were knock-offs out there that looked the same and cost a fraction of the real deal. I would save some money up and get one of those, and feel smarter for doing so.

One night a few weeks ago I searched the web for "Total Gym" and came across a website that was selling the real deal for far less than retail. I read a little further and found out that it was the "scratch and dent" department of the original Chuck Norris Total Gym. I would have thought Chuck Norris was unscratchable, but I kept reading. These models were guaranteed and came with the original factory warranties.

I thought long and hard about how I could convince my wife to let me buy one of these and then it came to me.

I begged.

After a couple of days of pouting, she let me order my Chuck Norris Total Gym. According to the commercials, my life was about to change.

We started talking around the office about how I would soon have Chuck Norris abs and a Chuck Norris butt. I couldn’t wait. I checked up front every day to see if it had come in.

Each day for the past couple of weeks I had asked the FedEx guy, "Do you have my Chuck Norris Total Gym yet?"

I explained that if he brought in on Monday, by Friday I would be kicking people in the head. I’m not sure if he was afraid to deliver it or it just took an extra week, but it finally came in last Monday!

At the end of the day, I had rounded up a couple of kids to help me load it in the back of my truck. I had just gotten my first Chuck Norris Total Gym workout and I was tired. I went home, ate dinner and unboxed my newest exercise equipment, my second Chuck Norris Total Gym workout.

It was glorious.

After pinching my fingers and smashing my wife’s toe, it was completely assembled in five easy steps, just like it said on TV, but without the smashing fingers and toes part.

As with every new piece of exercise equipment, everyone wanted to try it out. My youngest, Nicholas, has decided it is playground equipment. I may never get to use it, but I can tell you that no laundry will hang from it in Chuck’s honor.

On Tuesday I saw the FedEx guy in the alley behind my building. I immediately flexed and he pulled over, rolled his window down and said, "For a minute there, I thought you were Chuck Norris!"

I said, "Mark my words: I will have Chuck Norris abs and a Chuck Norris butt very soon."

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 10, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

 

It’s already September and I am sick of the 2008 presidential election.

The one thing that really got me the other day was seeing a "Hillary in 08" sticker.

Are we already in bumber sticker season? Can we let President Bush just serve out the rest of his sentence, I mean term, without all the name tossing and imaginary scandals?

A friend of mine used to sell bumper stickers for a living and did quite well at it. I read these possible political bumber stickers on my daily top 5 pics and thought they were pretty funny. Today I offer a bi-partison look at some presidential bumper stickers that we may be seeing in the near future.

We’ll start with the Democrats:

20% More Constitutional than Republicans

Printed on recycled 2004 Florida ballots.

Republicans: Their work here is done.

She's on the ballot, but he'll run things... we promise.

Still white and starchy, but slightly greener!

Sure, hide your daughters -- but at least your sons are safe!

We Embrace All Stances

Iraq: It's just like Viet Nam, only started by Republicans.

The only thing we want to occupy is the White House.

Unbelievably, without your vote, we might lose this.

Waiting for the last head to roll.

Sure, we'll mop up the mess.

Our turn! C'mon! Our turn!

Edwards/Obama/Clinton: the Middle-Aged Mod Squad!

We couldn't POSSIBLY do any worse!

Klaatu Barack Obama: He comes in peace.

Presidential-scandal-free for nearly 7 years.

Do you want Howard Dean to yell at you again?

This time, nothing can go worng!

And to be fair and balanced like Fox, here are the Republican bumber stickers we may see in the near future:

Who do you want on your side in a fight, Bono or Nugent?

Stay the curse!

Join the GOP! There's plenty of room in the closet.

We have a VERY wide stance.

Vote for us or we'll shoot you in the face and neck.

One more time? LOL!

Vote Cheney for Supreme Overlord.

It's Dem or U.S.

The *new* GOP: Now 97% less smug!

Every time you vote Democrat, Jesus cries.

Anti-Hillary 2008

Bush/Cheney '08: Hey, Amendment 22 isn't carved in stone!

Hey, how 'bout them terrorists, huh?

Imagine Ted Kennedy on the Supreme Court!

Keep the Oval Office PMS-free! (sorry ladies...)

The GOP: Sex-scandal free since... uhhh... Tuesday!

Visualize World War III

Vote Republican. Because if you don't, we'll know.

War! Huh, what is it good for? Winning elections! Say it again...

We may all be white guys, but at least we're not all lawyers!

Who killed your childhood pet? That's right: DEMOCRATS!

BOP - Bland Old Party

At least we dress like we know what we're doing!

Border fences make good neighbors.

Can't understand the ballot? Then don't vote!

It's Bill Clinton's fault. What was the question?

Just look at the bozos THEY'VE got running.

Nixon cut and run in '73. We've learned since then.

Nowhere to go but up!

So far, nobody impresses me. I’m going to write in Ben and Jerry for President and Vice-President. Bring ice cream back to the White House and to all of America.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 4, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

I never thought I would hear the words come out of my mouth.

"Joey, you need a hair cut!"

I know I heard my parents say that. It must have come out like all the other stuff you say you'll never repeat like, "Turn off the lights. You don't pay the electric bill around here" and "You call that music?"

Even though it took me like three minutes to realize what I had just said to my 14-year-old son, the hypocritical statement hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was thirty-two years old when I finally cut off my pony tail, opting for a more adult hair cut. Some times I regret it, but most of my family and friends agree that it was time for me to look like someone other than Jesus or some heavy-metal rock star.

I could see the look in his eyes and his lagging behind on our family's walk let me know loud and clear how he felt about my haircut statement. I didn't have to ask him if he was mad, I just sensed it.

I backed up where he was. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean you needed to cut it all off - just a trim," I reassured him.

Actually, I wanted to take the shears to his head, but I couldn't figure out where that urge came from. There must be some gene that kicks in at some point in life when you are a father. I had really long hair in high school and I can remember my dad's face when I came home with my ear pierced. It was 1985 and it was cool to have long hair and an ear ring. It was also cool to listen to "Wang Chung", but that didn't make it right. Everyone was doing it, but my dad didn't like that. However, looking at pictures of my dad from the 1970s, I see that many area barbers didn't rely much on his coin.

Ah, I am flashing back to the 80s. My hair was, well, gorgeous. It was long, thick and flowing. It was full of body and most of the girls I knew envied my long locks. My hair would grow so fast, I could actually go in and donate to "Locks of Love" once a year. ("Locks of Love" made wigs for children who lost their hair to chemo treatments -true story). My hair grew so quickly that I finally stopped having it cut and would have my wife braid it every morning before work. It finally reached close to my waist and was causing me headaches and the split ends were terrible, but that's another column.

Flash back to the present...... So here we are - father and son, walking down a dirt road talking about hair length. Then all at once I had an epiphany. I wasn't wanting him to get a hair cut. I really wasn't that concerned about his hair. I just missed being able to grow hair of my own! It was like Dr. Phil was walking down the road explaining it all to me. I realized I was offended by every hair growth commercial on TV and I am in the early stages of a comb-over!

Holy God, what happened?

Why the heck would I take advice from Dr. Phil anyway? What does he know about growing hair?

At some point in my life, my hair became less important. I don't even go to the barber anymore. I just have my wife cut it. Make sure you tell her how nice she does. I think it's fine. Nowadays, I have it cut so short, I rarely even use a brush. I just run my hand and a little bit of gel through it after the shower and "presto", I am ready for work!

I looked again at Joey's hair. It was all thick and wavy and reached down past his shoulders.

"Well, I think you should at least get it out of your face and above your eyes," I said. I just didn't know when to keep my mouth shut. I felt Dr. Phil slap me on my bald spot.

Joey isn't easily offended, but I knew he was done talking about his hair. I should just leave it alone.

But I couldn't. I reached out and grabbed it and pretended I was Edward Scissorhands. He swatted my hand and fell behind. I tried to reassure him I was only joking, but I couldn't help but think there must be a scientist somewhere who could take some of Joey's hair and surgically place it on my head where my hair used to be. I mean, think about it. If I needed a kidney and he was the only match, surely he would give me one of his kidneys. Why not a little bit of hair?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 27, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

 

When I was a kid my family would take a week or two each summer to go back to Rhode Island to visit my mom's side of the family. We'd stay at Grandpa Joe's house in Warren, RI.

Grandpa Joe was a comedian. He reminded me of a Don Knotts meets Jackie Gleason kind of character.

This guy was always happy, even when he was tying to be mad at me. And I gave him plenty of reason to be mad at me.

I could have flawlessly played the role of Dennis the Menace as a kid.

I remember one summer, I was alone upstairs in my Uncle Mike’s room and I was so bored. I hadn’t seen any of my cousins yet and my little sister was just too little to play with, so I decided to do some experimenting with electricity.

My uncle had started some lamp projects and there were switches, wires and various parts lying around. His tools were also conveniently located within reach, so I decided to finish the project and make my Grandpa Joe a lamp.

After an hour of electronic tinkering (remember I was probably 8 or 9 at the time), I was finished with my lamp and ready to install a bulb and plug it in. I found a bulb from another lamp and looked around the room for an outlet and walked over and plugged it in.

WHAM!

The next thing I remember, I was flat on my back in a dark room. My hand was tingling and the next sound I heard was my Grandpa Joe yelling, "What are you doing up there? - What happened to the power in the house?"

Grandpa’s basement was full of stuff. I would spend hours digging through tools, magazines with pretty girls (cough, cough) and these liquid filled containers that me and my cousins later learned was a magical homemade fruit drink called "wine". It tasted just like apple juice, but had an interesting kick to it.

I think it was the following summer that I found my Uncle Mike’s wood carvings down in the basement. I used to love to watch him carve out illustrations on wood. I remember one that was a man in a boat, sitting in a chair, fishing.

On that particular day my Uncle Mike had left his work and his knives out on the work bench. I decided it was time for me to explore my artistic side, so I picked up the knife and started whittling away. My Uncle Mike wasn’t impressed with the "Man with no legs, sitting in a chair on a boat, fishing" wood carving that I did for him.

During this same summer, I had slipped one of my Uncle Mike’s sweet pocket knives in to my pants pockets. My mom washed my pants in my grandpa’s washing machine and it got caught up in the agitator and broke the washing machine.

Grandpa Joe's house was like a castle when I was a kid. It seemed huge. Everything about Grandpa Joe’s house was big including his garden.

Now, as a kid, my memory of Grandpa Joe’s garden is probably not very accurate. I would have said it was the size of a football field then. In reality, it was much smaller, but like I said, I was a kid.

He had rows and rows of strawberries and I would get up early in the morning and pick strawberries to bring in and would eat them until I was sick.

My Uncle Al’s house, next door to Grandpa Joe’s was every kids wildest fantasy. Uncle Al was a TV repairman and his basement was full of radios, TV tubes, transistors and all sorts of neat tools.

One summer I learned that TV tubes are vacuum sealed. So when you throw a pair of pliers at one, they implode! How cool!

I also had the unfortunate experience with a capacitor that summer. I learned that you can weld a screwdriver to one and start a small fire even though it hasn’t been plugged in for years.

I had a lot of fun back in Rhode Island and remember getting into a lot of trouble at Grandpa Joe’s.

I’m sure he was glad to see us leave at the end of our trip!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From August 13, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

It might just be that I'm a newspaper publisher in a small town, but if history has anything to say about it, small town newspaper publishers usually wear more than one hat.

For as long as I have been alive, I've known folks in the newspaper business in small towns. It is a rewarding business to be in, if you like "hey, nice job on the paper this week," comment as your reward. It's a modest living, but one I love and that my heart has always been in. Some of my friends in the industry still dabble in job printing. I used to do a lot of job printing: forms, envelopes, business cards and flyers. I still do my fair share, but one day I decided it would be a good idea to sell computers and the next thing I knew, people were printing their own forms, envelopes, business cards and flyers. So I moved into something else.

Some of my newspaper publisher friends still do job printing Some even do lawn care, photography, film processing, etc.

I've always had a sideline, whether playing in a band, selling computers, offering internet service or even lawn care because like most of America, I do what I can to put food on the table for my family. I guess you could call it diversifying. Yeah, that's a great word.

Whatever I am doing at the moment to bring home the bacon, I always try to find something interesting. About a year ago, I was approached by an acquaintance about becoming a bail bondsman.

I turned that down in a hurry.

I had too much going on during my weekends as it was with the band, but I told him it was something I would think about. And when the band slowed down after David left town, I started thinking about it again and made the call to find out more information.

I liked what I heard, so I took the position.

Now, for the past nine months, I dabble in bail bonds for the 30th district of Kansas.

I've told Doris on a number of occasions how much I wanted to write a column on my bail bond work. I just couldn't think of a way to write about it. Not everyone would appreciate that line of work, but not many understand it either. Further, not many people that are arrested want to read about me bailing them out of jail in my column. It's bad enough they appear in local courthouse news columns in the area.

So what is a bail bondsman? It's someone who becomes responsible for making sure a defendant is accountable to the court system. Usually, this is a financial obligation. This obligation is motivation for me and my defendant to make sure that he or she shows up for court when told to.

The process is pretty simple.

a) get arrested and charged

b) get a bond set on you for what you are charged for

c) call me and ask if I will bond you out.

d) I come and bail you out if you meet the requirements

e) you be responsible and get yourself out of the trouble you’re in and go back to life

Yes, it's true that I bail folks out of jail on the side. Maybe they're guilty of what they were accused of and arrested for, but then again, maybe they aren't. I don’t get too involved in trying to decide because our system is supposed to be known for the "Innocent Until Proven Guilty" theory.

What I have found most interesting about this sideline is the people I work with and work for. Most are just common folk that were in the wrong place at the wrong time, doing something wrong.... allegedly. Whether it's a DUI (Driving Under Influence), DWS (Driving While Suspended), FTA (Failure To Appear) or a PDQ (not really one I use on a form, but folks like it when I get there in a hurry.) One way or another they all end up initials on my forms.

Some folks aren't so common. They appear common until you find out what they are accused of.

I have a file with all of my defendant's information in it. They all call and check in with me weekly. Some of them I have come to consider friends. Some of them, not so much and I wish they would just straighten up and fly right. There is a lot of repeat business in this industry....... Regardless, one of the biggest perks of this job is the interesting stories I walk away with. I keep a mental file of each one I bail out. I have even taken notes on some.

There was the exotic dancer from Houston, TX, the man who wanted me to flee with him to Mexico when I got him out, the Marine just home from Iraq who had a few too many, the dude from Colorado with the marijuana leaf on his VW bug ( he couldn't figure out what got him caught with marijuana in the car?), the man from the Fiji Islands with two wives and the list goes on and on. Just when I think I heard the greatest story of all, one better comes along.

No matter who they are or what they are "in for", when I show up at the jail, I might as well be wearing a red cape with a giant "S" on the front, because I am going to be someone's hero. Thank God I don't have to wear my underpants on the outside of my clothes.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From August 6, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

At 5’6" and 100 lbs. dripping wet, my 14-year-old son Joey, is becoming formidable competition.

I guess in every father-son relationship there comes a time of growth, equality and then superiority. I’m going to keep Joey in the "growth" section of this relationship evaluation, but it’s not going to be long before I have to pull out some of the serious "old guy" fighting tricks.

Rough play comes naturally between boys, no matter how old they might be. This intensifies when you have brothers vs. brothers or fathers vs. sons.

On any given weekend out at the lake, you’ll find my boys Nicholas and Joey playing a round of "king of the dock". The object of the game is simple: if you end up in the water, you lost that round.

Joey has the advantage here. He’s about a foot taller than Nick, but not much ahead of him in weight. Nick is built more like a freckled truck and Joey like a muscular flamingo. Joey usually ends up winning, but not without getting wet a few times himself.

This is a game that I can still win (when I choose to participate). My secret weapon is 175 lbs of disciplined balance, stealth and speed of hand and feet. In other words, they grab me, aren’t able to budge me and I throw them in the water.

But rough play doesn’t come without a price. I’m feeling my age, usually the day after.

This past weekend I did not participate in "King of the Dock". I didn’t have to, I had a garden hose and I was king of that. I had deadly aim and an evil laugh and no one was brave enough to take my hose, except Joey.

I must have let my guard down for a moment or been distracted by my wife in her bathing suit. Regardless, I turned my head and there he was with his skinny little arms wrapped around my garden hose and he was going to challenge me to the death for it.

It would be his death if I had it my way.

"Let’s get it on," I yelled!

The background music would have been fast fiddle playing, had it been there and I was knocking Joey all over the place as we struggled over the garden hose.

I would not be beaten.

Since he had grabbed close to the end of the hose, he was in control of where the water was spraying (in my face), but I was inventive and grabbed the hose three feet lower and pinched off the water.

"Ha," I thought! I had him now.

When I reached for the end of the hose, Joey did some contortionist moves and then the next thing I knew, the hose was wrapped around my hand. I gave it a tug and I regained full control of the hose and I released its fury on him.

I had once again proven that I was the pack leader and I was unbeatable. We packed up from the lake and headed home for dinner.

As we were driving home I began feeling some pain in my left hand and looked to see what was going on. My ring finger on my left hand was red and swollen. I had received an injury from my rough play with Joey.

Joey noticed that I was evaluating my injury and took great pride in being the person that dealt it.

"I kicked your butt," he said with confidence.

"No, you did not," I snarled back.

For someone who just kicked my butt, he was awfully wet. But come to think of it, so was I.

I got home and iced it down. The swelling continued and by the first of the week I couldn’t bend it or straighten it. I ended up in the doctor’s office Tuesday, but I still won.

I received a phone call from a buddy of mine out in Phoenix, AZ. He asked what I was up to.

I told him my story about Joey and the garden hose and explained I was icing my hand down at the moment, but reassured him that I had won.

He asked me a simple, sobering question.

"Oh yeah? What part of Joey’s body is he icing down?"

It took me almost an hour to type this........

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From July 30, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

I guess one of the pleasures and privileges of growing older is the right to gripe.

I hear many of my friends griping about their lives, families, jobs, money situations and so on.

I even find myself jumping in to contribute to the "negative energy" conversation at times.

Then I catch myself.

Usually when things are settled down and it is quiet time for Kevin, I have a chance to weigh out what is good and what is bad in my own life.

When I do this, I have a tendency to look around and compare my situations to other’s. That’s only human nature and part of a universal equation that equals nothing in the bigger picture.

When you start comparing, it’s easy to find yourself becoming jealous and envious. If my friends have money in their pockets and have an easy time paying their bills and I don’t, I have to be careful not to be envious of them.

I learned a long time ago that you can be jealous in life. Even God is jealous according to several places in the Bible.

What, you ask?

Webster’s Dictionary might make this clearer:

Jealous

1 a : intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness b : disposed to suspect rivalry or unfaithfulness

2 : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage

3 : vigilant in guarding a possession <new colonies were jealous of their new independence -- Scott Buchanan>

Envy

1 : painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage

2 obsolete : MALICE

3 : an object of envious notice or feeling <his new car made him the envy of his friends>

Is that clearer?

So when you stop and compare your situation, do you look at your own and look around and get envious or jealous?

I’m not meaning to give a Bible lesson, but a life lesson I suppose. It just so happens that the Bible addresses it! Jealousy and envy are completely different things.

Be careful when you compare yourself to others.

2 Corinnthians 10:12 reads :We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise."

When things are good in our lives, we still gripe about what could be better and we forget to be thankful for all that is good. We’re supposed to be thankful for what is bad too. That’s really tough for us, but if there was nothing bad, we’d have nothing to compare good to.

Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s better to be thankful.

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes, because they will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made an effort.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they will become your blessings.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 23, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! My sister sent this to me and I thought I would die laughing.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill BOTH ways.

yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way I was going to lay a bunch of garbage like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty (37 to be exact), I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy!

I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email! ! We had to actually write somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talked over the beginning and mess it all up!

We didn't have fancy stuff like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids" and the graphics were terrible! Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever and you could never win! The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just out of luck!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on!

You didn’t channel surf! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning.

Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.

You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,

The over 30 Crowd

Wow, that felt really good.

Now I am off to chase some kid out of my yard with a garden hose.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 16, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Over the 4th of July week, my family was honored by a visit from some friends from the Belle Plaine area. Nathan and Jeri Hunt and their kids, Braden and Maddie, came to visit. What made this trip so special was that we hadn’t seen Nate since Labor Day weekend of 2006. He is in the middle of his second tour in Iraq as an E5 serving as a convoy leader near Bahgdad.

Nate had a two-week pass to come home and visit his family and we were scheduled in for a visit. He and his family became close to ours after an introduction from my wife’s cousins in Wichita. Nate and Ronda’s cousin Andy were long-time pals in the Belle Plaine area and graduated high school together. Nate and his family have been a part of our family since around 2001.

The 4th of July held a new meaning for us as I watched Nate and his family catch up on lost time. Since this is his second time there, the stress on their family is unimaginable. What makes his story unique is that he more or less volunteered to go back with his unit despite a knee injury that would have disqualified most soldiers. But not Nate. Nate doesn’t want any special recognition for himself. He serves his country proudly and quietly and does his duty outside of the limelight, but that wasn’t good enough for his friends here in Medicine Lodge. I felt he deserved a little better and I knew some good old boys that felt the same way I did.

As many of you know, our band, Dorfus CrackTractor, held its last performance last weekend at Mike’s Sports Bar. It just so happened that Nate is one of our biggest fans and has 3 or 4 shirts floating around Iraq and Kuwait. When we found out he was going to be able to make it to our last show, we contacted the great local guys of the American Legion Riders for a welcome home ceremony for Nate. Even though we only gave them a little over a day’s notice, organizers got more than 20 bikers together and honored him with a drive by salute, a certificate of their appreciation and asked Nate to autograph their flag.

I stood back and watched this large soldier with tears in his eyes as each one of the riders came by and shook his hand and told him that they were proud of him. It made me prouder of my community than I had ever been. Nate is not well known here, but these local riders took the time to welcome him home, tell him of their appreciation for what he is doing and paused to pray with Nate and his family. They made Nate feel at home and made him feel a part of the community .

Like many I was moved to tears as I watched my big friend’s shoulders shake a little bit when he signed the flag and looked each of them in the eye to thank them.

Everyone called Nate a hero but Nate also recognized each of them as a hero. He couldn’t have hit that any more on the money than that. All of you guys who have taken the time to welcome back one of these soldiers in this way are true heroes. Heroes to the soldier, their families and heroes to the community. You guys made that night for Nate one of the most memorable of his visit home and maybe one of the most memorable of his life. It is exactly the kind of support we need to give to each soldier returning home, whether for a visit or from a long deployment on their way home. They all deserve our gratitude for the sacrifice they made in their life to protect our freedoms. Nate also pulled a young girl from the crowd named Elizabeth. I didn’t catch her full name, but her husband had been serving with Nate in Iraq and she drove down to Medicine Lodge from Kansas City to see Nate be welcomed home by these great riders. Nate wanted to make sure they all recognized her sacrifice and her husband’s sacrifice. Because Nate wouldn’t dare hog the spotlight. That’s not his style.

The evening didn’t end there. Dorfus CrackTractor went on to mention Nate a couple of times and that brought cheers from the crowd. So we played in his honor that night - The night before he had to leave for Iraq and head back to being a soldier in danger in a country far away. We miss him and love him and pray that the good Lord keeps him safe for his family and he returns to us on Labor Day weekend so we can welcome him home once more.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 9, 2007 - By Kevin Noland

I don’t read the Wallstreet Journal or the New York Times. I prefer to read the more interesting publications like The Protection Press, The Coldwater Western Star and the Cunningham Courier.

These newspapers still know their roots and support their respected communities and they do it with a style all their own.

Publisher of the Cunningham Courier David Steffen often writes about the struggles of small towns, their businesses and its newspaper. I enjoy reading his "Notes from the Country" column.

This past week Dave wrote about a contest that is being held by the Kingman County Economic Development Council, using the name "Kingman County Branding Contest." The contest will net someone a $100 prize and a bag of goodies totaling even more.

The group is seeking a 15-word or less slogan that will leave a lasting image on their county.

Dave takes a lighthearted approach with some examples already in use:

Kingman - "Rich History, Bright Future." Dave’s translation - "We have a lot of neat old buildings and a power plant.

Mid-Continent Airport - "Friendly. Convenient. Affordable." Dave’s translation - " Unless you really like driving to Oklahoma City or Kansas City or have one of those hybrid electric cars."

Newton (Former slogan) - "Small Town. No Apologies." Nearby Walton edged them out on the small town claim.

Dave has some of his own suggestions that had me shouting some Amens.

"Kingman County: a Perfect Rectangle."

"Come Home to Kingman County, We’ll Leave the Key Under the Mat."

"Ah, Kingman." .... Never mind, that didn’t work for Kansas, either.

"We May Shop in Pratt, Hutchinson or Wichita, but Our Hearts are in Kingman County."

"Take a Drive Thru Kingman County, Turn Around and Do It Again."

"Kingman County: The Cannonball Starts Here and Heads West."

"Kingman County: Wheat, Cattle, Grass, Oil, Public Hunting, Grumpy Old Men, Patient Old Women, and a Few Onery Kids." ... too many words.

"Kingman County: Kansas Doesn’t Get Any Better"... change that to wetter this year.

"Kingman County: What More Do You Need?"

"Kingman County & Spivey, too."

And my favorite....

"Kingman County: Three Newspapers and Desperately in Need of a Fourth."

Nice job Dave. You have at least one fan here in Medicine Lodge.

Now Dave, let me contribute a couple of my own. Please feel free to submit these as your own and if you win, you can take me and Ronda out to dinner at the Lumber Yard in Kingman County!

"Kingman County: And Kingwoman too."

"Kingman County: We take a notch out of Barber County."

"Kingman County: It’s Good to be the King, man."

"Kingman County: Crowned #1 County by its Residents."

"Kingman County: We’re on 54 HWY, So if You’re Heading West Out of Wichita, You Can’t Miss Us. Next Stop Cunningham."

Also a little "way to go" and a plug for the Cunningham Courier. The newspaper just launched its website: www.cunninghamks.com

He says it will add to the other websites with information and misinformation about Cunningham.

Dave will tell you it’s amateur and needs work, but I was impressed and encourage anyone interested in the Cunningham area to check it out.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From July 2, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Hi ya’ll. With the 4th holiday coming up, we were a little short on space, so I graciously bowed out this week (some call it gracious, Doris calls it lazy....).

I want to remind everyone about the Chamber of Commerce’s 4th of July display on Wednesday night at the Barber County State Lake. This event gets better and better each year and I also encourage you to take in the Assembly of God’s "Freedom Bash" at 6 p.m. in their parking lot before the big fireworks show.

Have a safe and happy 4th!

 

KWIBS - From June 25, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Bravo to the Medicine Lodge Chamber of Commerce. And thank you to everyone who helped put on Chautauqua.

The Chautauqua has moved on and the tents are gone, but the spirit of Chautauqua will be present for a while in the minds of our community – at least for some of us.

I will be honest. I wasn’t that excited about Chautauqua. I’m like many who just didn’t see how this event could compete for my time. Then I was hired by the Kansas Humanities Council to run sound for the event. So I brushed up on some of my Kansas history and learned of the characters who would be portrayed by some very fine scholars.

The folks at the Kansas Humanities Council were great people who enjoyed our town. They spoke highly of the people they interacted with and drank in our history and culture. On Saturday evening after the show, a few of the representatives gathered with some of the local people who put on the Medicine Lodge Chautauqua. My wife and I were among them. It was a relaxed atmosphere and there was lively discussion on the success and failures of Chautauqua.

One question came up concerning the low numbers of attendance. The representatives were quick to point out that it wasn’t the quantity of people who showed up, but the quality of the people who came. Sure, they said they would loved to have filled all 400 seats each night, but more than 25% of those seats were full each night. The ones that came were tuned in to the speaker and asked good questions to the characters and the workshops were well attended by folks that didn’t just sit and listen, but interacted with the presenters.

One of these scholars’ names was Fred Krebs. Fred would be portraying William Allen White, Editor and Publisher of the Emporia Gazette. I grew up knowing who William Allen White was. There was a reading award in grade school, that I never won, that was named after him. I had also heard White’s name mentioned through the foundation at Kansas Press Association. That was the extent of my history retention of White, but I quick-studied him and began remembering some of the things he had written. Much of his political views shifted over the course of his life. His opinions changed many times throughout his editorial career, but one thing remained consistent. White practiced the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Fred did a wonderful job portraying White and many times I forgot that he wasn’t actually William Allen White. Fred brought his wisdom to his workshops and to the program on Saturday night in the big tent. One of White’s famous columns was "What’s the Matter with Kansas?"

He also reminded me the responsibility of the small-town newspaper editor. I have always gone by "Publisher" and bestowed the title of "Editor" on someone else, but the actual duties of "Editor" have fallen on us all in my newspaper.

White, Fred’s character, sought to bring truth and justice to his readers and in his spirit, I might just ruffle a few feathers. But I do want to remind everyone that I am often guilty as charged.

What’s the Matter with Medicine Lodge?

Chautauqua reminds me of the things that can be right with Medicine Lodge, but places a large spotlight on what’s wrong at the same time.

For the first time in 80 years, our city became a showcase for education and a celebration of not only our rich heritage and history, but that of Kansas. We were chosen to be one of two cities to host the event. A little side note, my writer Doris Sorg was the one who found the information concerning Chautauqua and passed it along the channels to the Chamber of Commerce.

I went to all the presentations: Carry A. Nation, Langston Hughes, William Allen White and Dr. Brinklow. I was amazed at how the actors knew the lives of the people they were portraying.

Frankly, I was disappointed in the turn out. I had hoped for better from our town. This was a quality, family event that was very well organized. I couldn’t believe that more people didn’t come. I was grateful to see those who did attend and they can testify that their time was well spent.

Each night I did a crowd inventory in my mind.

On any given night I saw….

- Maybe two from our city government there.

- Two of our county commissioners there.

- Several of our Peace Treaty Board representatives there.

- Two local attorneys there.

- Fewer than five local businessmen there.

- Less than 5 school teachers there.

I know, "Summer is so busy". I heard that. I understand. It’s busy for me too and like I said, I may not have taken in this event if it weren’t for the fact I was hired to. I’m glad I did.

The problem I see isn’t with organization of an event of this magnitude. It wasn’t with promotion, especially with our publications in town. It wasn’t with The Kansas Humanities Council. The problem is what we do with information. Many just chose not to come. Many more just chose not to participate.

To the folks that did go and helped out, you’re what’s right with Medicine Lodge. You have been for a long time. Keep up the good work and the good fight. Events like this will make Medicine Lodge a better place to live and by hosting this event, you enriched the lives of many people in the community and surrounding area.

On a side note, Saturday evening’s performance by Fred Krebs, portraying William Allen White, brought out two other famous Kansas newspaper editors. Well, they are famous to me. Bob Greer from the Protection Press and Bob McQuin from the Kingman Leader-Courier were both in the audience for presentation. I’ve known both of these guys as long as I can remember. They both printed their newspapers at my family’s newspaper plant on First Street where the Barber County Index once was. These two guys were influential in my life and still are. I pick up Greer’s newspaper and read, "Bobbing Along Broadway" and McQuin’s "So What’s New?" each week.

We posed for a photo with Fred (Portraying William Allen White). (Left to Right) Bob Greer, Bob McQuin, Fred Krebs, and me.

KWIBS - From June 11, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Last week in the news I read a couple of interesting items.

During the Presidential debates held last Tuesday evening, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani was asked a question on his position on abortion. Most know that Giuliani is pro-choice, but just before he answered the question a lightning strike near the facility took out his microphone. Could God be trying to weigh in here?

A man tried to jump into the back of the open-air vehicle carrying Pope Benedict XVI in Vatican City on Wednesday before being wrestled to the ground.

Video showed the man, wearing a red t-shirt, dark shorts, a baseball cap and sunglasses, launch himself over a crowd of people waving flags and holding banners on the side of the street as the popemobile passed by.

The man then jumped over the barricade and seemed to touch the back of the vehicle before at least six men in dark suits wrestled him to the ground.

My solution for this: The rubber-bubble-Pope-Mobile.

Paris Hilton entered Jail on Monday to serve out her 23 day sentence handed to her by a judge for violating the terms of her probation. Hilton has been offered a $1 million deal to write her daily experiences down in a diary.

She’ll be spending 23 hours in her cell in solitary confinement every day, only to be let out 1 hour for showering, phone calls and recreation. Her diary should be short and sweet. Look for it soon on a post-it-note in stores near you.

A judge who was seeking $67 million from a dry cleaners that lost his pants has loosened the belt on his lawsuit. Now, he’s asking for only $54 million, according to a May 30 court filing in D.C. Superior Court.

Roy L. Pearson, a District of Columbia administrative law judge, first sued Custom Cleaners over a pair of pants that went missing two years ago. He was seeking about $65 million under the D.C. consumer protection act and almost $2 million in common law claims.

Pearson, who is representing himself, said in an e-mail that the focus of the case, from the start, was based on the "false, misleading and fraudulent advertisements displayed by the Chungs."

In a local related story, Publisher Kevin Noland has filed suit against his wife for $12 million. Noland claims his wife has been losing his socks in the dryer for the past 19 years.

That is correct, it has been 19 years of blissful marriage for Ronda and me. Our anniversary is on Sunday, June 17. Happy anniversary baby. I love you!

Sunday is also Father’s Day! That means I am getting like 4 gifts that day! Happy Father’s day to my Dad Ron and my Father-In-Law Don Vick.

They’ve let Jack Kevorkian out prison. Kevorkian, known as "The Suicide Doctor" or "Doctor Death" was released from his sentence for good behavior and upon his release has agreed to put the New York Yankees out of their misery.

It’s official: The Rolling Stones will be headlining a huge goodwill concert in Toronto. When asked if the band was worried about SARS, their manager replied, "I don't know about Mick, but it's starting to look like nothing can kill Keith Richards!" It is reported that Jack Kevorkian may be in attendance....

Well summer is here and the wheat harvest has begun. I know because my eyes are watering, my throat hurts and I can’t breath through my nose.

It seems like the weather went from mild to wild in a just a couple of days. The heat is bringing record numbers to the new city swimming pool. I was there on a couple of occasions and the kids and the parents are really enjoying the facility. It’s a credit to our city and we should all be very proud of the new pool.

I flipped to June and didn’t like the photo they used for the month on my wall calender, but I’m guessing it’s too late to bring it back now.

Have a great week!

 

 

KWIBS - From May 29, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

I’m a huge fan of writing headlines. Many of the headlines I write for the paper never see print. In my opinion, headline writing is one of the most creative things in creative writing. I often search Fox News and CNN for headlines that make you want to read a story. Sometimes they are just plain goofy and sometimes they are provocative.

There were some crazy headlines in the news over the past couple of weeks. These are real. I’m not making them up.

"Man dies after attempting to saw off his own head." He also sawed off his mother’s.

"Paris Hilton seen with self help book, Holy Bible, not wearing bra."

"Cop warned after tazering man’s genitals." Ouch....

"Man gets 5 years after blowing up a toilet."

"Man Sentenced to Life for Killing Teen Who Walked on His Lawn."

"Cat staggers home with arrow through its head."

If I had written headlines last week, some of them would have been:

"Bush says: Carter Is Irrelephant."

"Al Gore Successfully Lures Two Lost Whales Back to Ocean."

"Star Wars" Turns 30; I Turn Really Really Old."

"G-8 Leaders Promise More Whatever for Africa."

"Canadian Gun Owners Form NR, Eh?"

"Five Stranded Climbers Rescued From Lincoln's Nose."

"Paris Hilton Decries Lack of Suitable Prisonwear."

"McDonald's CEO Arrested on Assisted-Suicide Charges."

"Global Warming Not Hurting Arctic Monkeys CD."

"Bush Names Alec Baldwin "Parenting Czar"."

"Giuliani Legally Changes Name to Nine E. Levin."

"Earnhart Jr., Stepmom Go Separate Ways at 200 MPH."

"Study: iPods Adversely Affect PacemakeRRS GGGGGGGGGGGHHWEWPO"

Here’s some real news from around the county. This is a real blog from some area law enforcement

May 22 2007. (Officer’s names withheld to protect the investigation).

I am on patrol for the great county of Barber when I get a call.

"Barber County to Barber _."

I said, "Barber _ go ahead."

Dispatch stated, "I just got a call from a person in south Barber County that says someone got in to their chicken house and killed chickens."

I answered with a questionable 10-4, but after I thought about, I knew this was a serious matter. I turned on the lights and siren and went to the address.

I got out of my car and began looking around to see if the perp was still in the area. As I walked up to the house, I was met by a lady who gave me some other info on what had happened. I told her to go back in the house just in case the perp was still around. I unsnapped my sidearm and drew. I checked around every corner with caution. I went into the chicken house and could not believe what I saw. 3 chickens had been murdered in cold blood. I knew that because they had been there a while and their blood was cold to the touch.

I then ran back to my car and got my crime scene tape and roped off the area to make sure no one else entered. I then called for my CSI team, but they were tied up on a dead turtle in the road call. I knew at this very moment I could be the one to crack the case. I took samples of the blood and sent them into the lab. I also took many pics of the scene and they are being processed as well.

After all that I told dispatch I would be 10-24 10-8 but this case was long from being solved..... More to come when I get lab results back....... Stayed tuned!!!!

Two other officers in the area responded:

Officer 1: Okay, dude... I confess... I did it!!! It was only because __ wouldn't let me shoot the friggin snake at Pizza Hut... I got mad!!! I was driving, while fuming down, heard the chickens laugh at me.... so I got mad and shot them... right after that I shot the three bull frogs I swore were saying "Bud-Weis-Er"... so after shooting frogs and chickens in cold blood... still mad that I couldn't shoot the snake... I was ready for a cold one.

Officer 2: Dang It! Why did you not call me for back up? We could have put up a perimeter and conducted a house to house search for the suspect! I got my own evidence kit and could have collected the evidence! All this training and desire to help and I get hosed. I miss all the good calls.

 

KWIBS - From May 21, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

A first car is a right of passage for a young man.

My dad bought me my first car in 1985. He handed me the keys and a payment book from the bank. I think it cost $600. I remember it well. It was a 1966 Ford Ranchero. This was a sweet ride and a one of a kind in Medicine Lodge. Not only was it one of the only Rancheros from the 1960s, it was the only one painted camouflage.

I didn’t get to help pick the car out, but I was going to be the determining factor at how it looked. The car was ugly to begin with, but me and my friend Nix White spent $15 on spray paint and an afternoon on this old truck transforming it from a pea-green color into something straight out of the TV show M.A.S.H., complete with a giant white star on the hood and matching stars on the doors.

Most of my friends had nicer vehicles, but my dad made sure I appreciated my first car. If it broke, he would help me figure out what was wrong with it and down to the parts store I would go. And break it did. Several times.

I remember the first starter I had to replace. Actually, my dad did most of the replacing, and cursing, and throwing tools! Then there was the replacing of the windshield, the alternator, the installation of new seats, the roll bar (like that would ever be needed), the valve cover gasket, heater hoses, heater core and eventually the radiator. Come to think of it, that car didn’t have many original parts on it by the time I got rid of it.

Not too long ago, my middle child, Joey, started talking about what kind of car he wanted for his first car. He’s 14 and thinks the world needs another teenage-boy driver. We talked about all kinds of strange cars and trucks and Joey settled on the idea of a 1970s AMC Gremlin.

Probably one of the ugliest cars ever made, next to the Corvair, the Gremlin was AMC’s attempt at a compact car that ended up being somewhat of a flop. That made perfect sense that Joey wanted one. You could say he’s kind of quirky like his dad. We looked up pictures on the internet and decided that the Gremlin was the car for him. We’d keep our eyes open for one.

It wasn’t more than a week later that we saw one sitting on a lot near a home in Spivey, Kansas on our way to the car show in Wichita. We stopped and looked, and laughed. The house near by was the obvious choice of where a Gremlin owner might have lived. There were other cars parked near the home with their hoods popped. The grass was a foot tall and there were a bunch of chained up, mean-looking dogs in the yard.

The Gremlin actually looked like it was a recent "driver". It appeared that a flat tire was the only thing keeping this cherry off the road.

We knocked on the door, but nobody was home, or they were hiding because they saw someone looking at the Gremlin in the yard. We decided to leave a note with my cell phone number on it and left.

A few hours later we were at the car show and my phone rang. A cranky lady told us, "The car is not for sale, so don’t ask for a price."

I told her that I appreciated her calling, even thought I didn’t, and we finished our tour of the car show.

On our way home, we passed by the car in Spivey and noticed a guy in the yard. We stopped to tell him that we were the ones that left the note and just wanted to peek at the car again. He explained it was his son’s car and his sister was the one that called us and said it wasn’t for sale. Apparently, now the car was for sale and the son would get a hold of us to tell me how much he thought he had to have for it.

A few days went by and finally the phone rang. The owner of the Gremlin gave us a price and I turned him down. It was just too much money. I explained to Joey that sometimes you have to wait patiently for the right car for the right money. Joey was sad, but he understood. A long story short, there’s never a right price to pay for a 1974 AMC Gremlin.

Another week went by and the guy called me back. This time, the car was discounted to comfortable range and we made the deal. Joey was getting his Gremlin and I was getting like 4 years worth of column material.

We got the car home and started a project that is sure to cost me money and add many years to my life.

We’ve already spent more fixing the car than we paid for it and we’ve only just begun the journey that is the first car.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From May 14, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

You just don’t think it could ever happen, or at least happen close to home. With the recent Greensburg disaster caused by one of the largest F-5 tornados recorded, you can’t help but take a second look around.

I drove into town from my home last Wednesday morning. My drive in was different all week long. I come in from the north on Highway 281 and as I crest over the hill by the gas plant I can see almost half of Medicine Lodge.

Each morning I imagined it being gone - my business, my friends’ homes, my family’s homes, the schools I went to, the hospital, city hall, the churches. All of it gone and nothing left of the town I grew up in. It just didn’t seem possible.

It can happen. It could have been any of our homes.

What a wake up call Greensburg has been.

Most people don’t remember that Medicine Lodge has been hit a couple of times by tornados. Once in 1907 and again in 1927.

Greensburg should be a reminder to us all the danger that Kansas weather can bring. Thank the good Lord that not more perished. And thank Him for the diligence of weather spotters and for taking shelter when warned. It is truly a wonder that more people did not die.

I will always remember Greensburg as a beautiful community. One of the greatest memories I have is when a friend and I traveled there to see the World’s Largest Hand Dug Well. I thought it would be fun to take in one of the  tourist attractions of Kansas, so one afternoon, former Medicine Lodge resident Randy Nichols and I ventured off for a day at the Big Well.

I wasn’t disappointed. It was so awesome.

I want to take a moment to recognize the volunteers that responded to Greensburg’s victims. Many of you worked 24 hours straight and did so because you felt it was your duty to help your neighbors. You are all heroes.

Now, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath and look around you. Be grateful.

 

KWIBS - From April 30, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

It seams like the squeaky wheel might have gotten greased this week.

Last month, Barber County voiced their opinions over a proposal to close the local FSA office and consolidate records with Pratt County. The proposal wasn’t exactly met with enthusiasm. In fact, around 167 folks turned out to the meeting - just a few short of an angry mob I’d say.

Several members of our area communities commented at the informational meeting. After the meeting, several sent letters to their congressmen and representatives and it looks like it has made a difference.

We had heard rumor earlier in the day that an announcement was coming down concerning Barber County’s office. Around 6 p.m. on Monday evening I received a news release from Bill R. Fuller, State Executive Director of the Kansas USDA Farm Service Agency announcing his final plan of consolidation. In it, Barber County’s office will remain open and Comanche County will be consolidated with Barber County, rather than Clarke County as originally proposed.

I had to reread it. I couldn’t believe it.

In an about-face from March’s meeting, Fuller changed his mind. I can only hope it was a decision influenced by a community pulling together to save such a vital service. I believe it was.

Although it isn’t finalized, the final proposal is set in motion to be approved by the FSA national office.

Nice work everyone! Now, keep squeaking.

? ? ? ?

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

That was the most important quote of the evening at the community meeting last Tuesday night concerning Peace Treaty’s future.

I was disappointed in the turn out. The same selfless folks were there. The ones that have kept this going forever. There were a couple of new faces there to criticize the way the two-weekend event went. They were full of opinions and suggestions, but when the sign-up sheet for volunteers rolled around, I noticed they had put their money where there mouth was.

I voted for it, before I voted against it. Sound familiar? I just couldn’t make up my mind on the issue of Peace Treaty one weekend or two. There are so many advantages and disadvantages to both. I spoke in favor of two weekends and then gave my opinion vote for going back to one. The room was pretty much split in half.

To be honest, I don’t care what we do as long as we keep it alive and work together.

I hope more people will get involved. I am sure this is just a first in many meetings to come and we’ll do our best to keep everyone informed as to when the next meeting will be held.

I want to compliment Sara Whelan for her efforts as President and Chairman for the association. She poured her heart out in to this and did the town well. She’ll be serving again in this capacity and she deserves everyone’s support and gratitude.

Thank you Sara!

? ? ? ?

Bless her heart. I haven’t picked on my daughter in a while, but this one was just too good.

Breeann was late getting home one night last week and I gave her cell phone a ring to remind her that she was past her curfew.... and was in my truck.

She answered and said, "Dad, I can’t go over 20 miles an hour! Your truck makes a weird whistling sound when I do and I don’t want to tear anything up!"

I told her OK and to drive home carefully. I would look at the problem when she got home.

She pulled in the driveway and I jumped in the driver’s seat and we took off. Just as described, at about 20 m.p.h. the truck made a weird whistling sound.

I reached to my left and rolled the passenger window all the way up and the noise went away. I thought she was going to die.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 23, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

The City of Medicine Lodge held their city wide clean up week last week or as I like to call it, "Trash Swap 2007".

I buzzed in to town last Sunday to pick up some groceries at White’s and took in the sight seeing. I actually counted 4 places on Main Street where folks were gathered around piles of trash, digging and rummaging around.

I chuckled at those dumpster divers. Then I saw it - the most glorious barrel stove with flu that I had ever seen. My mind pictured it in my garage on a cold winter day, pumping out heat. How could someone throw away such a neat, hand-made stove? Then I realized I was parked in front of it and there were vehicles behind me. I quickly flipped open my cell phone to appear as though I was making an important call. The vehicles passed by. Whew! That was close.

Although I did not stop and grab someone’s trash, I did see a pickup in front of me stop at another pile and grab a ladder. The driver looked like he was part of the witness protection program as he slumped down in his seat. The "grab trash and dash" event netted them a few items from this location.

Several years back, the city used to include businesses in the city wide clean up. After tons of trash collected, the city could no longer afford to have its help spend the hours required to haul off some of the items. I remember copy machines, a row boat with a hole in the bottom, a chair that looked like it had been on fire at one time, a couch and an old stove - all located in our alley!

We had decided to clean out the old stock of computer parts. Tim and I threw away close to 30 computer and monitors. None of them worked. One day while driving down the alley to work, there was a line of cars and folks digging through our trash! I pulled over a few buildings down and watched people taking computers, printers and monitors and putting them in the car. It was just crazy!

I told Tim what I had seen and we both got a good laugh out of it. One morning close to the end of the week of clean up, we gathered up the rest of the computers and printers, found an old desk and the burned chair and set up a display. We had a complete office set up in the alley behind our building. The trap had been set.

We hid in the back of the building, peaking through a window on the door. Up came our first contestant on our new game show, "Who wants to be a trashzillionaire!"

One after another, the folks came, jumped from their vehicles, looked around, grabbed an item and jumped back in their cars and drove off. Once they left, Tim and I would run back out and set up more stuff.

Finally, someone in a truck came down the alley and took the desk and burned chair. (Don’t ask how the chair burned - that’s another column).

If I remember correctly, it seems like we actually had to steal some of Rick Dirks’ trash to complete our display. I’m sure he doesn’t mind after all these years.

The funniest part of this story is: Most of the trash reappeared after the weekend, redumped behind our building!

A newcomer to town paid me a visit on Tuesday to tell me about his experience with "Trash Swap 2007".

My friend, who will remain anonymous to protect his identity and to keep from getting fired, was amazed at the amount of people that would just stop and pick through other people’s trash.

Over the weekend he was driving around with a couple of friends when the wife of his friend screamed, "Stop, I must have that deer!"

In the yard, at this undisclosed residence in Medicine Lodge, near the curb stood some older yard art. It was a deer, missing an ear.

My friend leaped out of the passenger seat and grabbed the deer, only to discover it was made of concrete and it was too heavy! His friend jumped out of the vehicle to assist him in the trash-napping of the concrete, earless deer. I can’t stop laughing thinking about the two of these guys trying to carry a broken concrete deer out of someone’s yard!

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From April 16, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

I view my body as a mathematical calculation. I’ve finally figured out why my math teacher, Mr. Buel, insisted on me learning algebra. For instance, one French Fry divided by .00978 of a 10/40 Vytorin, x 10 minutes exercise x 1.80 increase in heart rate = just under the needed calories to burn off the French Fry.......

It also calculates this way - 1,000 French Fries, divided by 37 years x 1 heart attack = 3 titanium stents totalling $100,000 - insurance benefits + deductible and premiums.

You’ve all heard the saying, "Your mouth is writing checks your body can’t cash," or something close to that. Although it means something entirely different, it works with my story. When I was young in my 20s, I could pound down several burgers, beers and eat an entire pie without gaining weight. My only exercise was walking from the refrigerator to the couch. Back in my teens, I could blink calories away while taking sugar intravenously. Now I think I absorb calories through things I touch in my every day activities.

Life changed somewhere around 30. Calories suddenly became an important factor.

30 is the magic number that is kind of like hitting the limit on your credit card. You’ve reached it, you owe a whole bunch (with interest) and now you are barely making the minimum payment. Trying to lose weight in life is like paying a little more than the minimum, but then having a weak moment and using your credit card to order something from the Sky Mall magazine on an airplane. Gaining weight and buying new clothes is like calling the credit card company and asking to increase your credit limit. You feel good in the new pants and actually have to tighten that belt a notch to make them stay up.

The real key to losing weight is taking in less calories and burning more calories with exercise. That’s all easier said than done.

I read somewhere about keeping a daily calorie diary. A daily calorie diary is where you record what you eat and include the total number of calories eaten in that day. My calorie diet would read something like this.

Dear Calorie Diet,

I hate my jeans. They are not the same size they were when I bought them. I’m going to start wearing sweat pants. I seem to fit into them fine.

Today all I ate was celery. I don’t know why I gained 2 pounds over the weekend. It is probably just water retention. OK Diary, I am going to be straight with you. I found a piece of beef jerky (still in the wrapper) on the dash board of my pick up. I took a bite. Actually, I ate the entire 12" stick, but it was up there in the window for a week or two, so I am assuming it had no nutritional value and didn’t count as calorie intake.

I also lied about the celery. I didn’t have any celery today. In fact I haven’t had any celery in years. When I did, it was smeared with peanut butter. I actually ate: 2 packages of cheese crackers for breakfast, a pizza sub and a bag of chips for lunch. I snacked on a candy bar around 4 p.m., ate a plate of spaghetti for supper, followed by a bowl of Captain Crunch cereal before bed.

So by my calculations, I took in about 1500 calories, give or take 2000.

Considering an average diet is 2000 calories a day, it’s interesting to look at a calorie chart to see how much you burn in your daily activities:

Activity: Calories Burned Per Hour

Cooking (moderate effort) 110

Eating 85

Driving 110

Housekeeping (moderate) 160

Lawn mowing (push type mower) 400

Playing in the pool with kids 270

Raking leaves 290

Shopping (mall or city street shops) 180

Shoveling snow 430

Sitting 85

Sleeping 55

Standing 100

Vacuuming 180

Window washing 180

Marital activity 300 (per hour!)

So using math again... 10

Pleading 19

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 26, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

For some dumb reason, one of my favorite pastimes is talking with David Fasgold about strange dreams we’ve had. Often times we write them down and email each other. This is one he sent me this week:

Letter to the Editor

(From the former Editor)

"Former ML Resident and Premiere Editor Expresses Concerns"

Dear Editor,

It was with great amusement last night that I dreamt of reading your paper. In the dream, I had just received my weekly copy of The Premiere, only to find that there was so many mistakes I felt compelled to mark them all with a highlighter and send it back to you. While part of me felt like one of those busy-bodies with nothing better to do than point out your mistakes, another part of me got a chuckle out of correcting your little news writing faux pas.

In the dream, it was obvious that the community was in crisis and your news staff had become so overwhelmed that hundreds of mistakes were scattered throughout the paper. The front-page headline read "Car Jacking!" in 100-point type. Below it, a sub-headline indicated that the city council had voted to make car jacking illegal within city limits. Just thinking about attending that meeting gave me a headache, and I could almost feel the pain in my backside of sitting for an extended period of time in a metal folding chair.

Throughout the rest of the paper, every single headline had semicolons between the words. I laughed at this, knowing all too well the difficulty with which Mr. Noland struggles to type headlines correctly. Every page was "page j" and many of the stories did not continue, despite that fact that each one clearly indicated at the bottom "continued on page j."

There was also a story buried somewhere deep in the paper about a new countywide law that would establish a 102 mph speed limit for motorcycles. This was in reaction to a bunch of wild teenagers riding crotch-rockets recklessly along county roads.

The stories were filled with typos, bad grammar and offensive content. And I hadn’t even read KWIBS yet.

When I finally turned to "Section E: Fun Facts" I woke up.

I’m not sure what that dream was about, but I know that Doris was recently out of town, so maybe I was dreaming that Doris and Joyce were gone and Kevin was stuck there all by himself.

Cordially,

Mr. David Fasgold, Esq.

Newcastle, OK

P.S. Since I’m now officially a "Former ML Resident" (and one of Kevin’s buddies) does that mean I can have a news story written about me every time I sneeze? How about a headline that reads "Former ML Resident and Premiere Editor Expresses Concerns"?

P.S.S. Please do not run an embarrassing picture of me with this letter.

Stop trying to tell me what to do David. You’re not the boss of me.

I wasn’t completely alone last week, just without Doris a few days. I only made a few mistakes. I apologize to Charlie DeGeer for leaving his big "G" a small "g". I know I looked that up to be sure it was a big "G".

Also, sorry to Brandon Poland for single-handedly electing him to the Kiowa City Council. I don’t even know how that happened. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From March 19, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

 

Who are they kidding?

The USDA and Bill R. Fuller are "Fuller" of it. In a meeting with Barber County FSA program participants, Bill Fuller laid out his plan to close the Barber County office and consolidate with Pratt, Kansas.

He claims it is necessary to do this to save just over $24,000 a year in facility expenses.

Just like so many businesses, the USDA has a shrinking budget. When the ax falls, it always seems easier to pick on the little guy. That’s what Fuller’s consolidation plan is doing - picking on the little guy.

He says it just makes sense to close our FSA office, which ultimately could cause the closing of NRCS as well since they share the facility with FSA.

I was pleased to see how many of you showed up at the meeting last Tuesday. A lot of good points were made. However, no alternative plans or solutions were offered. But seriously, do any of us have a real answer to these problems?

I don’t have an answer, but I have one solution. Start at the top and work your way down when looking for spending problems.

I shared an example of colossal waste of taxpayer money by the USDA on Tuesday and if you didn’t hear what I had to say, I’ll explain it here. In a nutshell, several years ago a Wichita based company was given a substantial loan by USDA to bring this amazing new technology to rural Kansas. It was called "wireless internet". Little did the USDA know that a company I co-own had already been doing this in the area for several years and guess what? We didn’t ask for or receive the $6.4 million loan that this company got.

And.... we didn’t take your taxpayer money, file bankruptcy a year later and then only pay back what the bankruptcy courts ordered them to pay back, which was a fraction of what they were given.

This was millions of dollars in USDA funds that just basically swirled down the proverbial toilet of wasted funding and resources.

In light of that, it seems quite unfair that our services here in Barber County are in jeopardy over a proposed savings of $24,000 a year doesn’t it? After all, USDA gave millions of dollars to a private industry that was supposed to be offering you a service that already existed in many rural communities in this area. By the way, they didn’t follow through either.

The following are excerpts from The Wichita Business Journal that helps explain some of what I am talking about.

Bankrupt Pixius ready to expand once

judge approves reorganization

From the Wichita Business Journal - July 8, 2005

by Ken Vandruff

The reorganization plan designed to bring Pixius Communications LLC out of bankruptcy includes repaying 20 percent of its loan from the USDA and 17 percent of a Minnesota judgment on a defaulted loan.

It's a plan that company officials say will make it possible for the area's second-largest Internet service provider to start new expansion plans that will make the company profitable.

Pixius filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy in December after it was hit with a $2.8 million judgment by a Minnesota court. Pixius had stopped making payments on a $4 million deal to acquire Infinetivity, a software development company.

Ellis Davis, the widow of Infinetivity's former owner, agreed to accept $500,000 over a 5-year period to settle her claim.

"Her husband had built up this company," says David Hellmuth, Davis' attorney. "He died and it was sold to Pixius, and that was more or less her retirement, so to speak. ... It's just, in my mind, a very sad story of my client not being paid what she had coming to her."

Pixius proposes to repay, over a 10-year period, $1.3 million of a $6.4 million loan from the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Rural Utilities Service, according to court documents. The loan was part of a 2002 Farm Bill pilot program that loaned more than $180 million to ISPs to expand Internet service to rural areas.

"To my memory ... Pixius is the only one (to receive a loan) that's had to file bankruptcy to work out of its situation," says Claiborn Crain, USDA spokesman.

The bankruptcy plan includes payment of a $48,344 Internal Revenue Service claim for unpaid withholding taxes; $4,925 for each employee who filed wage claims against Pixius; and a 17 percent dividend to unsecured creditors paid over five years.

"The whole goal is to get the judge to slam down the hammer and say, 'The plan's approved,' " says Jay Maxwell, Pixius CEO. Pixius serves 15,500 customers in Kansas and Minnesota through dial-up, T-1 and wireless connections.

Prior to the bankruptcy, company officials applied for another $14.5 million USDA-RUS loan to pay for expansion. That application evaporated with the bankruptcy.

Maxwell says he's ready to restart expansion once the reorganization plan is approved. The company has secured $1.2 million in new private financing, which dictates a slower rate of new network construction, and it will not apply for government loans.

"They (USDA) dictated that we build in rural areas, do certain things and do things a certain way," he says. "That's probably the major change in business philosophy is private-sector money versus government money."

REACH KEN VANDRUFF at 266-6172 or on the Web at kvandruff@bizjournals.com.

? ? ? ?

In 2001, my partner and I filed a lawsuit against Pixius. We lost the lawsuit. I believe it was for the simple reason that the information about the $6.4 million loan was suppressed from the jury.

Interestingly enough, one of the employees at the FSA/NRCS office sat on that jury. I often wondered what the outcome would have been if they had only known the truth.

Folks, this is just one example of wasted money by the USDA in Kansas alone. I don’t have other examples, but I’ll bet $6.4 million they are out there. Have a great week. Support FSA/NRCS

 

KWIBS - From March 12, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

 

For all local news,  subscribe to The Gyp Hill Premiere

"What did you say," I asked?

I could have sworn I heard her say, "You could put a bean in your head."

What my wife really said was, "You should go home and go to bed."

I grew up with loud music blaring at maximum volume, I still play in a rock band and I’ve blown both my ear drums in freak SCUBA diving misadventures, but my loss of hearing wasn’t related to any of this.

I was just completely congested and it was so stuffy upstairs in my head that I had lost some of my hearing. All I was hearing was a dull mmmmmmm.

I went home and laid down after taking some decongestants. I woke up about 2 hours later realizing that I had turned the volume up so loud on my TV that when the medicine starting working, I inadvertently woke myself up.

I got some minor relief every 4-6 hours, but the congestion came back.

I drove to town the next morning in my beater pickup that doesn’t always want to start and often dies when idling. As I slowed down and put my blinker light on to turn into the EZ-Mart to get some breakfast, I could have sworn the truck died. Everything was quiet, so I quickly shifted into neutral and hit the ignition. Long story short, it was still running and I got that RRREEEEEERRRCH sound from the starter kicking in to a spinning flywheel.

Ooops... that was embarassing.

For all local newssubscribe to The Gyp Hill Premiere

KWIBS - From March 5, 2007 - By Kevin Noland 

Late in the afternoon on Friday, February 23rd, I spoke with John Nixon on the phone. Unrelated to our conversation, he told me about US Army Specialist Chad E. Marsh, 20 years old, of Wichita, Kansas who was killed in action on February 18, 2007 in Baghdad, Iraq of wounds when a grenade launch by the enemy landed in his combat Humvee while his unit was conducting combat operations.

Chad was a gunner on the Humvee and supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom in the war on terrorism for the United States of America. Chad was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, Ist Infantry Division. "The Big Red One" - "Prepared and Loyal, Sir!!

The mother said Chad was a ROTC Cadet and joined the Army while still in high school at Northwest. After graduation he went to serve in Iraq September 2006. She said he was a very good kid and describe him as "One of a Kind"

Chad was posthumously promoted from Private First Class to Specialist.

Chad fought and died to protect his families, his fellow-soldiers in his unit, our families and our freedom.

Specialist Marsh's mother, brother, Aunt, Uncle, and family members, invited the Patriot Guard as their guests at the funeral services in Wichita, KS. and to the Full Military Graveside services in Coldwater, Kansas.

The funeral procession passed through Medicine Lodge around 2:15 p.m. on Monday. I decided to grab my flag and join in respect to honor one of our fallen heros.

I was not alone.

Veterans, students, businessmen and retired people all filtered to the corner of Main and 160 at the Memorial Wall. I don’t really have an estimate of how many folks in the community showed up, but it was enough to pack both sides of 160 HWY from east of Bowe Chevrolet to the corner of 281/160 HWYs intersection.

Most of the folks who came out, got there about an hour early and if they didn’t have a flag, they were given one. I’ve never seen such a sight in all my life. This is the kind of stuff you see on TV, but never think about it happening in your town. And remember, this was for a young man that most people in our community didn’t even know existed until late last week.

With a calm atmosphere, people lined the streets and visited for a while until a line of cars in the east crested the hill by the golf course. All fell silent as a couple of hundred or more vehicles, including the hearse, a Humvee limousine and motorcycle riders from the Kansas Honor Guard crept through town.

I know it’s impossible, but it felt like I made eye contact with everyone passing through on their way to bury Chad. Some waved, made the peace sign, took photos and videos. Everyone of them, although in mourning, looked happy to see us.

I cried for the soldier I never knew and for his family and friends. I know most of you there did too.

The line of vehicles crested the hill going west and everyone just stood there for a few minutes. Nobody said a word. And then like it was all rehearsed, everyone walked back to the Memorial Wall and returned their flags and got into their vehicles and left.

As everyone was leaving one lady said, "Thank God for such nice weather." It was a beautiful day, but I think even if the weather would have been cold and rainy, we would have all been there.

Mark Buck, Middle School Principal, walked past me and said, "This is how it should be."

I said, "Yes, it is."

I got in with my wife and we drove off. A few blocks from where we just witnessed the greatest outpouring of love I have ever seen in our town I thought, "This is the way it is here."

I saw something in Medicine Lodge I forgot existed. Everyone put their differences and feelings aside for a short moment to honor Chad’s sacrifice.

No matter how much you agree or disagree with our country’s involvement in this war, you can’t help but respect and honor those who serve and make the greatest sacrifice - their life.

I am so proud of our community for coming out in support.

God bless Chad and his family

God bless America

and

God bless Medicine Lodge

 

KWIBS - From February 26, 2007 - By Kevin Noland

A few times a year, I am blessed to wish my kids happy birthday. I’m the proud parent of three great kids. They’re my world and bring me great joy.

Yesterday (February 25, 2007) was my baby’s birthday. Nicholas Tate Noland turned 9 years old.

This is a picture of Nick at age 3. Nick loves kittens.

We live in the country and we have a lot of cats and these cats seem to make more cats. Nicholas always picks a kitten out of the litter that becomes "his" cat. One kitten from this litter was named "Lucky" If I remember correctly, this was his sister "Smokey".

Lucky had a rough, short life. He spent all of his 9 lives in a matter of a couple of months. He first drown in a bird bath (he was rescued by Kitty-CPR). Later we found that Lucky hadn’t lived up to his name. Lucky decided to go for another swim one warm summer day in Nick’s little swimming pool.

I thought maybe little kitty life jackets would make a good birthday gift. What do you think Nick? Happy Birthday Buddy!

 

KWIBS - From February 12, 2007 - By Kevin Noland

Here’s to MySpace and all 53 of my friends!

Yes, I’m up to 53 friends now thanks to the crave known mostly has a cyber-hangout for teenage girls.

Somehow, I got caught up in all of it about a year ago after our band got a MySpace site. I objected, saying it was unnecessary to have a band website and a band MySpace site, but I lost out to Guitarist/Former Editor of The Gyp Hill Premiere David Fasgold and Drummer/Deputy Sheriff Justin Rugg.

At their persistence, I also had to make my own MySpace page, which I thought was just dumb, but I did it anyway and here I am today with 53, count’em, friends!

All 53 of my friends have friends too and now we’re all networked together and instead of calling them, I can just MySpace message them - all at once!

You know, it’s not really a contest (even though David has two MySpace pages and I am ahead of him in friends on one). I actually have MySpace friends who have friends that number in the thousands. I don’t envy them. I actually haven’t even thought of what I would do in the event my popularity exploded and my friend’s request list grew that big. I would hate to turn legitimate people away from friendship, but I am struggling to stay in contact with my own family.

There’s an idea MyFamily.com. I’ll bet that is taken by the time this column is out.

MySpace is a place where you can tell the world about who you are and share with them all the intimate details of you life. You can keep a diary (I don’t), share photos and songs and just be yourself, or not. My MySpace page says:

"I'm here on Earth only for a short time, visiting from Planet "M", gathering information to take back to my home world. In my 30+ years visiting your planet, I have taken one of your women hostage (wife) and I have genetically engineered three of your human life forms with her help. My plans are to eat all of your planet's beef, watch as many episodes of "Scrubs" as possible in one night and master the musical instrument "the slide whistle". Upon my return to my home world in the year 2017, I will resume my position as the head of the department of homeland insecurity. While on your planet, I have joined the band "Dorfus CrackTractor" where I have joined forces with David Fasgold and Justin Rugg, both from planets near my galaxy, and we rock. Visit our MySpace page at www.myspace.com/dorfuscracktractor."

Here’s a little more about me.

I enjoy: Tree climbing and digging holes. Really: my family, being near water (salt or fresh), being underwater (salt), playing music, gardening, walking my dog and playing jokes on people. Bass guitars and PA gear really makes me happy.

I like this kind of music: Anything featuring a slide-whistle.

My ethnicity: Pacific Islander

My Occupation: Self Motivationalist

My Income: Over $250,000 a year.

So just being honest and one year later, I have 53 friends.

Now with all of these friends, you can bet I am going to need to call in some favors. I’ve been a little down on my luck and if each of you is really my friend, as made contractual by MySpace by adding me as your friend, you’ll send me $100 each ($1,000 if you can afford to) to:

Kevin Noland (MySpace friend)

110 N. Main - P.O. Box 127

Medicine Lodge, KS 67104

I want to apologize to the following: Karise, Brenda, Lovely-Girl, Make Money from Home, Refinance Now and Love Kitten for not being your friends. I would say it’s not you - it’s me, but I would be lying. It is you. I don’t know you and I really don’t know if I want to be your friend. I’m already in at least 53 other relationships that require much of my time. I just don’t think I can devote what it takes to be your friend and it wouldn’t be fair to you, me or the other 53 friends.

If you would like to be my friend, simply go to www.myspace.com/dorfuskev and click "add to friends". If I like you, I might be your friend.

Have a great week (at least 53 of you).

 

KWIBS - From January 29, 2007 - By Kevin Noland

I may be skating on thin ice here, or going out on a frozen limb, but I don’t care. I hate snow.

I just never have been that excited about the white stuff. Maybe I was traumatized as a kid when the neighborhood girls buried me in that snow drift in 1979 or maybe it was when they changed the gender of my snowman. Regardless, I just don’t like it and I have my adult reasons.

I will admit this, it’s pretty when it falls lightly to the ground. This is only true if immediately following this light snow comes a 90 degree heat wave that quickly melts it away and leaves behind no evidence.

And speaking of falling.... I fell... twice.

One of my adult reasons for not liking snow might be the dreaded snow day. Dreaded by adults, loved by school children everywhere, the day begins by destroying the child’s bedroom looking for warm clothes to play in. I’ve seen my kids so over dressed they’ve had small heat strokes before they could get their shoes on and get outside. On the flip side, I’ve seen my middle son go outside in a pair of wind pants and a T-shirt.

Nevertheless, they manage to destroy their bedrooms and the destruction doesn’t stop there.

On average, I can expect the kids to last 15-20 minutes outside in the cold. In contrast, it might have taken them 30 minutes to get dressed, another 20 minutes locating snow-worthy toys and tools and another 20 minutes taking off wet clothing.

My garage always gets destroyed after a good snow too. Unfortunately, all of the necessary things to have fun in the snow are located in there, tucked away neatly. Ronda and I usually pick up all the winter mess sometime around SPRING and throw it back in the garage. Sometime in the fall I clean the garage and the cycle starts all over again.

Some of the things the kids drag out just floor me. I actually found squirt guns in the yard after this last snow.

And comes the next reason I don’t like snow - it turns into water when it thaws. I like water, just not cold water, soaked up into my sock when I step in a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor. There is no worse feeling than stepping in ice water and it always happens just after I get dressed and go to put my shoes on.

Of course, the kitchen area becomes destroyed when the kids get inside. They’re cold and need 19 cups of hot chocolate to warm up.

The destruction moves on to the bathrooms where towels are needed to dry off, blankets are pulled out of the cupboards, space heaters and blow dryers strung out all over.

Snow removal is not high on the list of things Kevin enjoys doing. I don’t like shoveling snow and thanks to Joey, I didn’t have a good way to shovel snow last week. Apparently, a snow shovel can double as a sled and he and a friend dragged off my snow shovel to some distant hill and it never returned.

The fact that I live on 3.5 miles of dirt roads also influences my hatred of snow. I have no problems getting in and out with four wheel drive, but a light snow that thaws slowly turns a dirt road into a mud wrestling pit, only without the entertainment value.

I’m just not big on being cold in general. Most of you know that I like summertime and warm weather. I like wearing shorts, a T-shirt (optional) and sandals. I did give this snow a chance though. Saturday afternoon I caved in and I rounded up the kids, the dog, an inner tub, some rope (all from my garage) and tied it all up to my truck (less the kids and the dog) and off we went down the road in the snow.

I was content with being the driver and we pulled into 99 Springs to pick up my neighbor, John Nixon. John took his turn on the tube after the kids and I was oh-so gentle with him behind my truck.

After a few laps, the kids and John had about all they could take of the cold and John asked, "Do you want to take a turn?"

Sure, I thought that would be fun, so I let him drive and I jumped onto the tube - a decision I later regretted.

I spent Sunday nursing my wounds and laying flat on my back. Apparently, "Nice and easy" wasn’t understood.

I hate snow. You know what payback is, right John?

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From December 18, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

It’s so simple to get wrapped up in the holiday season and forget about the sacrifices of others. Ironically, it’s what Christmas is all about - the birth of our Saviour Jesus Christ and his life of sacrifice.

Our grandmother found this anonymous poem about our soldiers serving during the holidays and it immediately brought to mind my friend Nathan Hunt who is serving his second tour in Iraq.

We are desensitized to who these people really are serving our country. We see them in their body armor, carrying guns and patrolling the streets of Iraq. We forget that they are our friends, family and fellow countrymen, answering the call of duty and separated from everything they know and love. Please pray for our troops this Christmas season and remember my friend Nate and his family, Jeri, Braden and Madeline of Belle Plaine, Kansas.

’Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone, in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone. I had come down the chimney with presents to give,

and to see just who in this home did live.

I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,

no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

No stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand,

on the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,

a sober thought came through my mind.

For this house was different, it was dark and dreary,

I found the home of a soldier, once I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,

curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,

not how I pictured a United States soldier.

Was this the hero of whom I’d just read?

Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

I realized the families that I saw this night,

owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

Soon round the world, the children would play,

and grown-ups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.

They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,

because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone,

on a cold Christmas Eve in a land far from home.

The very thought brought a tear to my eye,

I dropped to my knees and started to cry.

The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,

"Santa don’t cry, this life is my choice;

I fight for freedom, I don’t ask for more,

my life is my God, my Country, my Corps."

The soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,

I couldn’t control it, I continued to weep.

I kept watch for hours, so silent and still

and we both shivered from the cold night’s chill.

I didn’t want to leave on that cold, dark, night,

this guardian of honor so willing to fight.

Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,

whispered, "Carry on Santa, it’s Christmas day, all is secure."

One look at my watch, and I knew he was right.

"Merry Christmas my friend, and to all a good night.

Anonymous

Nate and his daughter Maddie at Nate’s going away party.

 

KWIBS - From December 4, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Like most of America, I opened my newspaper on Thanksgiving Day and was crushed from the weight of the falling sale flyers inside.

One advertisement caught my attention.

Apparently, we can no longer brush our teeth properly and now a company, in order to save us from our dental deficiencies, has placed a tiny computer chip in our toothbrush to calculate the number of strokes and amount of time it takes to remove plaque and tartar.

What distinguishes ads for Oral B’s Triumph from most other toothbrush commercials is probably the phrase on-board computer. Yes, the Triumph has a microchip in its brush heads that talks to a CPU, one like you might use to play X Box’s Vice City, which sends messages to a digital display in the handle, which tells you (in any of 13 languages) just how well you’re brushing. And if you’re keeping score like my kids, you may only have half your health remaining before you have to hit reset or brush your teeth.

The "words on-board computer" may seem jarring in a toothbrush ad, but you should take time to read the press release. It’s full of phrases like "mouth quadrants," "ergonomics" and "metallic accents," and offers various insights into the user’s "brushing experience." All of which has the effect of making the Triumph seem a lot like a foreign object—something you probably shouldn’t put in your mouth in the first place. I’m assuming you don’t want to take your toothbrush down a wrong path and brush your tonsils or worse, lungs. Soon we may see a Toothbrush "Tom-Tom-Teeth-Teeth Navigation Systems" By Garlin

So like most Americans, I was lured into going shopping last weekend by the advertising. My wife and I can shop like nobody’s business. So to stay on track, we made a list. We’re pretty focused and we stick to our list. We made it home with practically nothing that was on our list. Not because we couldn’t stick to the list, but because most of the stores were out of the things advertised in their flyers. In fine print I read, "Limit 4 per store" on some items. I was so close. I think I was about number 5705th in the store that day.

And because we weren’t smart enough to stand in line at 3 a.m., we didn’t get some of the things we wanted. One store advertised a $10 certificate to the first 100 people in the store. News stations in Wichita reported that people began forming a line at midnight the night before to take advantage of the sales and to receive their free $10 certificate. I personally would have paid $10 to sleep in and not stand in line.

Along with these confusing sale flyers, the big chains trick customers with the layout of the store in order to get you to buy more stuff you don’t need. I found chainsaws and meat slicers within 4 feet of the toy section at one supercenter. Around the corner from that I found bandaids…..

The trick that really got me was being in the middle of the store and feeling the call of nature. Thinking quickly (with my wallet) I decided to pick the restrooms nearest the exit, in the front of the building. My theory: The quicker I get out of the store, the less money I would spend. After wandering around like a mouse in a maze, I made my way to the front of the store. I could clearly see the sign, "RESTROOMS", above all of the "SALE" signs that seemed to pop up out of no where. After getting there I discovered that this restroom was "CLOSED FOR CLEANING". Come on, they never actually clean those do they? I had to go to the back of the store if I wanted relief. I felt like I had just drawn the "DO NOT PASS GO– DO NOT COLLECT $200" card.

Speaking of cards….

A new craze for most department stores is to sell gift cards. This is the "I don’t have a clue what you want for Christmas" gift, so here’s a card. I remember in the good-old days it used to be called "CASH". For some reason, we have forgotten that you can slip a $20 in an envelope and it means nearly the same thing as driving to the store, paying $20 for a card with a magnetic strip that tracks your shopping habits and can only be spent at the store it was purchased from. Don’t expect change from these things either. You use it up and usually cough up a few bucks out of your own pocket to complete your purchase. You have a time limit in which to spend it and once it passes, the gift goes "poof".

Time’s up for me and my family. If you are on our list, you’ve been purchased for and we’re wrapping your gifts. There’s no turning back.

Now I’m no expert on gift giving, but I do know some pretty bad gifts to get. It’s easier for me to think of things to get, than to give. Here’s my list of worst Christmas presents I could possibly get for 2006. (This is a hint for my family and friends. Don’t buy me this stuff. )

1) A bunch of keys, but with no indication of what doors they open. That’s the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night.

2) Windows 2000 because it blows. I already have it and I hate it. Stop letting these people tell you that they did something good in 2000 with an operating system. They still haven’t done anything good with the operating system that is coming out 6 years later!

3) 37 cent stamps. Man, that would make me really mad.

4) One of those glass bubbles with a forest scene inside, and you shake it and there’s blizzard .. a snowstorm, yeah. Why? I hate snow and my fireplace mantel space is at a premium this year.

5) Fruitcake. No need for any explanation why. Just know if you give this type of gift, Joey and I have started a game that involves your fruitcake, a 20 ga. shotgun and a box of shells.

6) A tin box full of dead tadpoles, all floating in about two inches of filthy water. I don’t know why anyone would give this, but it would be a terrible gift.

7) Underwear. I hate new underwear. If you are going to buy it for me, buy it this year and wash it and stretch it out all year and give it to me at Christmas 2007.

8) One of those massive wooden horses full of soldiers. Getting that on Christmas Day with no warning would be a disaster if you didn’t prepare enough food for everyone. Those soldiers could track all kinds of nasty across my wife’s floor and we all know how clean she keeps it.

9) Please don’t buy anyone in my family a gift that would require any assembly because I put my tool box away and had planned on spending Christmas Day splashing along the warm coastal line of the Gulf of Mexico which should have been near Barber County by now with all of the hurricanes we were promised along with global warming.

10) And finally - Gift cards. I want the cash. I also want whatever cash it was going to take you to go buy the cards. Just give me the cash! I don’t want big brother knowing what I like to shop for. It’s that simple. I don’t give them my real phone number at the check out counter either. It’s not any of their business that I like body sprays, hair gel and toothbrushes with on-board CPUs.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From November 27, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

I started to write my column this week, when I noticed Dave had his column finished and it was already in my inbox! That’s unusual for David to be early.....

For those of you who do not know this, David no longer works here. He reminds me that every time I call him for some reason.

Since he sounds annoyed when I call, I’m making it a point to call for dumb reasons.

"Hi David. Are you working? I just called to tell you I was writing about you in my column."

David works at a newspaper in Newcastle, OK and has a new deadline with his new job. (I just wanted to see how many times I could write "new"). Since they print on Friday, I’ll get his column earlier in the week, which is not the norm for us because he used to wait until the very last second to get it done.

So I opened his email and pasted his column on. To my surprise, his column was twice as long as usual and I hadn’t allowed enough space, but since I’m a nice guy, he finished his column earlier and he’s usually funnier than I am, I am giving up some of my space this week for him.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 30, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Halloween is tomorrow, so it’s a great excuse to discuss something morbid. Like I need an excuse?

Why is it that so much attention is given to what a death row inmate eats for his last meal?

What is the fascination?

To be quite honest, I don’t care what they have for their last meal. If they’ve done something so heinous to bring on the death penalty, I say they get something they dislike for their last meal.

Warden: Here you go Hannibal. It’s Goat Cheese casserole with Brussels Sprouts and Kidney Beans!

Hannibal: Could I just have some toast? My stomach kind of hurts.

What inmate on death row is all that excited about his last meal? If it were me, I wouldn’t be very hungry.

Warden: Here you go Kevin - just like you ordered. Captain Crunch Peanut Butter Cereal and Snicker’s Cake!

Me: No thanks. I’ll just have toast. My stomach kind of hurts.

A really smart inmate would order something really hard to get.

Warden: What would you like for your last meal?

Inmate: Write this down please. I’ll have the kha-nyou (that’s the rock rat found in Laos) lightly roasted with garlic. I’d also like a side of Chinese White Snow Frog, not too done, browned, seasoned with Wasabi and mustard seed.

If I were the inmate, I would also ask for common food, like a Twinkie and some beer so that I wouldn’t look suspicious.

For death row inmates that have food allergies, like me, I would take a different approach.

Inmate: I would like lobster and shrimp.

Warden: Aren’t you allergic to shellfish?

Inmate: Yes, I am. If I go into anaphylactic shock and die, will you care?

Warden: Well, I guess not.

I even found a website dedicated to last meals of death row inmates, where someone has actually taken the time to record the menus of all death row inmates for 2001-present.

I was particularly interested in this inmate from Mississippi.

His name: John B. Nixon (Our John is a "W" Nixon I believe).

MISSISSIPPI LAST MEAL

JOHN B. NIXON SR.

December 14, 2005

Last Meal: Nixon ate two eggs, two sausage patties and two slices of white bread for breakfast. He did not eat his cereal at breakfast and turned down his lunch because he wanted to save room for dinner. Nixon requested a well-done T-bone steak, buttered asparagus spears, a baked potato with sour cream, peach pie, vanilla ice cream and sweet tea.

The skinny: ...Nixon pulled out a .22 caliber pistol and said, "I brought y’all something."... Nixon was executed for the killing of a woman for $1,000 and shooting her husband in 1985. The dead woman's ex-husband, hired Nixon to kill the man.

You can read more accounts of what death row inmates had for their last meal at http://www.deadmaneating.com.

Now let’s look at the similarities if our John Nixon were on death row.

If this were our John Nixon the last meal would go something like this: Nixon ate cat fish, two hotdogs, potato chips and a Schwan’s Pizza. All microwaved.

The imaginary skinny:..... Nixon killed a man with a ping pong paddle after losing his third consecutive game. His uncontrollable rage was further driven after losing a $50.00 Grand Hotel postcard auction on Ebay. The post card ended up being a copy, not the original. Nixon tried to elude law enforcement on his Cushman scooter but was apprehended after driving through a pasture, losing his headlight and running off into 99 Springs.

Remember, it’s Halloween. I’m looking for something bizarre and scary. Trust me, it’s scary. Have you ever ridden with John Nixon on his Cushman?

Happy Halloween!

 

KWIBS - From October 23, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Three people in my household celebrate birthdays in October, making it a very busy and expensive month.

Breeann is first, I’m the day after and my middle son, Joey is last. Joey celebrates his 14th birthday on Saturday, October 28, officially old enough to get a learner’s permit to drive a car (which isn’t happening anytime soon, but probably sooner than I’d like).

It’s not bad enough we have to celebrate three birthdays in October, but we turn around in the first week of November and celebrate my wife’s birthday on the 3rd - making it 4 birthdays in 30 days or 1 birthday cake every 7.5 days. That makes October the highest calorie month on the calendar at my house.

When you get to a certain point, birthdays no longer matter. A friend of mine from the Derby area (who just turned 50 last week - Happy Birthday Gary Renberger) sent me this very true commentary on birthdays.

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . You become 21.

Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50. And your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90's, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Yeah, Peace Brother and Happy Birthday Joey!

 

KWIBS - From October 16, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

This might seem incredibly dumb to some people, but I am at my wit’s end. Sometime over Peace Treaty I lost my only pair of everyday shoes. I do own some running tennis shoes and several pairs of sandals, but with the seasons changing, I really need my shoes!

They are tan and black Merrell brand tennis/hiking shoes with high tops and heavy laces.

So here I am, stooping to a new low by using up space in my newspaper to ask you to help me find my shoes. I’m sure I will get hate mail for this, but last Tuesday, it rained and was cold outside and I wore sandals and socks to work.

I have something a little different this week. I’ve written a poem to share with you and I hope it will help my situation out a bit.

Help me readers,

I’ve lost my shoes

The weather has changed - it’s colder outside.

My feet are freezing. My toes want to hide.

I’m still wearing sandals. They’re actually called Crocs.

I’ve made quite a fashion statement even wearing socks.

But it’s not for the looks, it’s for the lack of heat

That I need to stop wearing them to protect my feet!

I’ve misplaced my shoes. I don’t know what to do.

Where I’ve misplaced them, I haven’t a clue.

Please help me find them. I’ve looked high and low.

Just the other day, I stubbed my big toe.

The last place I wore them, I think was at Peace Treaty.

I hope no one decided to become greedy.

These shoes I’ve had now for at least 2 years.

A new pair would be nice, but it would bring me to tears.

You see, these are special, slightly tattered and worn.

The soles are almost gone and the stitching is torn.

My feet are so flat, and breaking in shoes takes time.

I’ve never had a pair that fit me so fine.

These shoes, I tell you, fit me like no other.

They’re closer to me than my own brother.

I don’t have a brother, but I do have a sister.

She’s closer to me, but I’m getting a blister!

I know this is corny, so I hope you understand.

I’m all out of ideas. Please give me a hand.

If you would kindly call me if you find my shoes.

I promise to go back to reporting the news.

- Kevin 620-886-5654 xt 14 (update, my shoes returned)

 

KWIBS - From October 2, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

I have to be short this week due to our statement of ownership publication. I want to thank everyone who made Peace Treaty such a great success. It was a blast!

A special thanks to Sara Whelan and the Peace Treaty Association Board for a great two-weekend celebration. I’m feeling really good about the weekends and I hope you do too.

Today is my oldest’s birthday! Breeann is 17 today. Happy Birthday Sissy!!! We love you and we’re proud of you!

I hope you have a great day.

Ya’ll have a great week!

KWIBS - From September 18, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

 

as you can see, I'll be back next week.....

KWIBS - From September 18, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

If you haven’t been involved with a Peace Treaty just know that it’s the way Peace Treaty works. We spend months and months of planning only to finalize things in weeks, days, hours and minutes before the events. Sometimes that’s just the way things work.

The 2006 Special Peace Treaty Section was like that. It started out as a 48 page tab that quickly went to 60 pages and then shedded 4 pages to end up at 56. It was just right and the staff felt like that was a perfect fit. We got it to press last week and the final product is inserted in this issue, free of charge to you. The edition is supported by area advertising and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for supporting such a large project.

This year’s edition is one of the best editions we’ve ever published.

Inside this special issue, you’ll find stories and the accounts that led us to the signing of the treaty with the five tribes. Not only will you find that , but you’ll become more familiar with the people who played an important roll in shaping the rich heritage we have.

Medicine Lodge is a pretty amazing town, historically speaking. We’ve got, well, history - to put it in perspective. We have wild and woolly history that other towns can’t, or don’t want to boast about. Not only did we host the signing of the original treaty, we hung Caldwell’s Marshal after he tried to rob our bank, had a lady who swung her axe around to make her point about the evils of liquor and we ran a newspaper man out of town after he was dipped in molasses and cockaburs when he didn’t meet the expectations of the townsfolks with one of his newspapers. That’s enough to keep this publisher in line.

And we did all of this before we even had electricity and telephones!

We’re much more civilized today, but you may not know it when you see cowboys firing their guns into the air over the next two weekends or see stampeding longhorns traveling down Main Street like a documentary of "the running of the bulls". You may want to put your hands over your little one’s eyes as pretty ladies take the stage and rowdy men join them for a dance. After that, you can enjoy the carnival or the free downtown street dances.

Whatever you do, I hope you remember the spirit of Peace Treaty from your youth. If you are a first-timer, then I hope you thoroughly enjoy yourself. Many of you are returning to Medicine Lodge to see the town and remember it from Peace Treaty’s past. Some things will be different, but one thing is the same. We’re all here to have fun and we’re all looking forward to seeing old and new faces!

There’s a lot going on, so keep your Peace Treaty Edition handy. It could serve you well over your stay with us in Medicine Lodge.

As I close this week, please remember that we’ll be publishing on Tuesday for the next couple of weeks as we’ll need time to recuperate from the festivities of the weekends.

We’ll be in and out of the office both of those weekends, as we participate in many events around town.

We also want to wish you a safe and happy Peace Treaty Celebration and look forward to seeing you out and about.

Please share your photos with us! If you have a computer and a camera and wish to download and share pictures, you may do so day or night right in front of our building. We have wireless internet that should be accessible from your 802.11b capable card in your laptop. Email me with your photos and comments: knoland@cyberlodg.com or David at: david@medicinelodge.com

How’s that for modern and civilized!

We hope you’ll share with us.

Thanks for coming.

Watch your step and have a great weekend, ya’ll!

- Kevin Noland, Publisher

A.K.A - Colonel J.K. Rankin

 

KWIBS - From September 11, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Today marks the 5th anniversary of the terror attacks on our country. I knew last week that I would mention it in my column and I spent a good portion of last week watching documentaries and reading up on the events that lead to what we simply now call 9-11.

Five short years ago I sat in my living room waiting my turn for the shower. I had CNN on and I was drinking coffee when the news broke that an airplane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I watched for a few seconds and then ran to tell my wife what had just happened.

I remember us both sitting in front of the TV as the second plane hit and the news rolled in about the Pentagon and flight 93 in Pennsylvania.

We were to travel in a couple of weeks. A flurry of emotion is what I remember next - fear, anger and confusion.

Not a lot got accomplished that day in my life. The day was spent watching the TV in our office listening for reports of new attacks that we were expecting. The long, tense day ended with search and rescue pulling just over 20 survivors from the towers.

Earlier this summer I went to see World Trade Center. I haven’t seen Flight 93 yet. These movies portray the courage of the people who were first hand witnesses and unwilling participants that day. At the end of the movie the names of the victims scrolled across the screen - over 2700 of them. My throat swelled up as I remembered that day. The list was long. I realized there were more people killed in that single attack than the number of people who live in Medicine Lodge.

I flipped through pages of information on the internet and came across a site dedicated to the victims of 9-11. I found their names again and my throat swelled up.

To this day I still only have a limited understanding as to why innocent life was taken and for what purpose it served the attackers. It appears obvious that there will never be peace between America and the radical Muslims.

Today, Wednesday, I have CNN on in my office and I am listening as the President defends the war on terror. I’m puzzled why anyone would think that leaving Iraq and Afghanistan would be the right thing to do now. Regardless of the reasons we went, we’re there now and we’ve brought the fight to the terrorists.

My heart breaks every time I hear about one of our soldiers being injured or killed overseas. I’m so grateful for the sacrifices they make.

The world is a different place.

That phrase came from the lips of our President shortly after the attacks on 9-11. It’s true. We value the freedom our country enjoys, but we’re often so unwilling to pay the price.

Many of my friends are paying the price. I have two great friends that are nearly my age (I’m almost 37) who serve our country. You can ask either of them why they reenlisted and you’ll get the same answer, "Someone has to do it."

Dale McCurdy and Nathan Hunt are two of my biggest heroes. They have both served our country during this war on terror, Dale in Afghanistan and Nathan in Iraq. Nathan leaves a few weeks from now for his second tour in Iraq. His wife and two small children will wait for him in Belle Plaine.

They serve because, "Someone has to do it." They are two normal Americans with lives similar to many of my other friends, with one difference. They understand what freedom costs.

I would like to personally thank all the brave men and woman who serve our Country by responding to this attack by enemies of America. We must stand together regardless of our religious beliefs or Nationalities and fight this form of terrorism - which is bent on placing us all into their religious bondage.

It has been said that we are in the midst of WWIII and most people have chosen to take a position of denial. I couldn’t agree more. We must recognize this threat for what it is and respond by destroying it now before it is too late. We must never forget the victims of 911 or any of the other attacks of terrorism that has taken lives around the globe in different Nations, their blood cries out for Justice.

KWIBS - From August 14, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

A philosophical question was asked of me last week and I got a chance to ponder it. Rather than simply containing my answer(s), I thought I would share them with you.

The question directed at me: "What makes you happy?"

There are a lot of things that make me happy. I guess that my first answer of what happiness is to me is to see my kids and my wife happy. If they are happy, I am happy. I love to spend time with them.

That was an easy answer, but there is one thing in particular that makes me happy. An elaboration on my first answer would be: Enjoying the time with my family - especially in the summer.

It is easy to spend time with the ones you love, but never enjoy that time. Sitting in your living room watching a movie is not enjoying time spent with your family.

During the summer months, I’ve found myself sitting in a lawn chair next to my wife, under an umbrella, drinking a cold malt beverage and watching my kids play in the lake.

I get up from my chair, grab a Frisbee and hurl it to two young sons waiting for their turn to jump off of the dock to catch the Frisbee and land safely into inviting waters.

I laugh as they jump in and climb back out and do it all over again hundreds of times, wishing I still had that kind of energy. Hours go by and my fingers turn in to prunes.

Then moss tag begins – a game no one is safe from playing. The object: grab as much moss off of the bottom of the lake as possible and hurl it towards your closest family member. Nothing is off limits. You can shove it in their mouths or down their pants. It’s a free-for-all.

After that’s over you might take yourself a little lake bath and share play-by-play episodes of moss tag and who ate it and who had it shoved in their swimming trunks. Everyone shares a laugh and life is good. Remanants of dried moss is found days later in pockets and stuck on sandals and sunglasses.

I watch as my daughter zips by at 55 mph on a jetski and makes my heart race with excitement. I hop on one and race her to the dam and splash her. The adrenaline flows and the spray of the water cools our skin in the hot summer sun.

There’s watermelon in the cooler grown from my sister’s garden. It tastes good. I see sticky chins on every member of my family. A red stain gives them funny clown faces and they leave their sticky calling card on everything they touch.

In the late afternoon, frog castles are constructed from the finest sand and tenants are captured from the reeds growing near the water and are forced to live inside the fortress walls - unless they are able to hop out or swim for safety. But it’s temporary freedom. No frogs are safe from the public housing project my boys create. Time flies by and castles become more elaborate and more difficult to escape from. The castles are soon destroyed by the crashing waves of passing boats. Frogs leave to start new lives in smaller subdivisions. The waves are like natures etch-o-sketch and the pallet is clean for next weekend’s art.

Old toys from last year’s summer are uncovered like ancient archeology. Tiny, slimy army men still holding their weapons, ready for battle, emerge from the depths of the lake to see sunlight once again. An occasional metal car is found with its paint still shiny like it was when it was buried a year earlier. It’s like brand new Christmas presents wrapped in sand.

It’s one of the things that makes me happy. It makes the entire family happy – a day at the lake in the summer.

Everything melts away. There are no problems, no phones, no demands. The clock is the sun. It’s like I can control time and have the remote control to life. It’s on full blast on my favorite channel.

The only worries are silly ones like, wet, smelly towels left in my truck, a bag of spilt potato chips to pick up, a bug bite, a bee sting, a sticker and an occasional sunburn.

They aren’t enough to make me unhappy.

I’ve never had a bad day at the lake. Even when it rains.

"What makes you happy?"

 

KWIBS - From July 24, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

My daughter got a new cell phone last week. She didn’t like the color of her old one and wanted something prettier.

I shopped around and found one that I thought would be practical. This phone had more bells and whistles than most phones, but was simple enough that even I could use it.

She flipped it open and a semi-grouchy female voice said, "Please say a command."

"Wow," she said, "What was that?"

I explained it had voice activated commands and she would have to train it.

She did that over and over and finally shouted, "Shut up!"

The phone went silent.

"There," she said triumphantly.

Breeann went over and activated her phone with Alltel and walked back with it up to her ear. By morning a flap of skin had grown over the phone grafting it to her head. She now wears an ear ring from it.

Kids seem to need to be in constant contact with each other. It’s cell phones, text messages, MSN Messenger, MySpace and Yahoo 24/7. Many times it’s several of these at once.

I remember passing notes in school and actually using a pencil and notebook paper with "check yes or no" boxes.

I was describing some of the features of the phone and mentioned to her that this phone had a GPS locator.

Breeann asked what GPS was.

Ah, GPS, the longest leash on the planet. I couldn’t wait to explain this.

In my day, GPS was used for launching a missile and getting within 100 feet of your target. Now GPS can pinpoint things within a few feet anywhere on the planet.

I tried to explain to her what GPS was (Global Positioning Satellite). She didn’t get it.

I wanted to tell her that:

a) I could us GPS to locate and punish any boyfriend I wanted, at any time I wanted, for any reason I wanted.

b) If she was doing anything she wasn’t supposed to be doing, the phone would call me and tell on her.

c) If she were late coming home, the phone would have her beamed from wherever she was directly into our living room where her mother and I would be waiting.

I had a feeling she was smarter than that.

I tried explaining it slowly.

"It’s so I know exactly where your phone is whenever I want to know exactly where your phone is," I said with an evil, mad-scientist voice.

I have little worry that she’ll leave the phone one place and go another.

My wife was listening. She knew where I was going with all of this.

"It means if you say you’re going to Medicine Lodge and you end up in Pratt, your dad will know," Doris added.

She still didn’t quite understand.

"I can find you by using technology built in to the phone that is detected by a satellite," I explained.

Breeann got a deer-in-the-headlights look on her face.

"Really?", she asked.

"Really", I said - and I meant it.

I think I’m going to like this phone and I think I am going to get a lot of mileage out of its features.

Maybe I’ll read the manual and find out if I can record my voice telling her things like:

a) Hey, slow down. Are you going to a fire?

b) Did you put your seat belt on?

c) You call that music?

d) Clean your room!

e) Get your hands off my daughter. This phone has GPS and I can launch a missile that will land within 100 feet of you. Wait, I mean a few feet of you, you little *^~^@$$!!

Now that is a ringtone I would love to make.

I looked at Breeann and smiled and said, "Can you hear me now?"

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - from July 17, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

"Cars for sale! Cars for sale!" my youngest son screamed at by-passers on Main Street last Tuesday morning.

I asked Ronda, "What’s he doing out there?"

"He’s selling cars on Main Street," she answered, not looking up from her work.

"I hoped the folks on Main Street would not press charges against the little guy for selling their cars," I answered.

Nicholas is our little businessman of the family. He frequently sets up lemonade stands and offers to sweep in front of Main Street businesses. He always has his price. Sometimes he doesn’t tell you what his price is until he’s finished the job.

For example, he asked me if he could sweep the sidewalk after I mowed.

I thought to myself, "How nice? What a good kid."

I let him and later in the evening he hit me up for $5.

Nick has no summer job and no real allowance, so he's dug deep into his toy chest and pulled out all the die-cast metal cars to try to sell for extra cash.

I looked out the window of the office. If I hadn't known any better I could have mistaken Nick for pedaling stolen or imitation Rolex watches to the public.

He hit up everyone that passed by.

He had what appeared to be a pretty sophisticated operation going on. He had dragged out some office furniture, a table, found some professional looking price tags and had set his price for goods out for anyone to buy. He just didn't have any buyers.

I walked outside.

"What are you doing out here," I asked?

"Dad, I'm selling all my cars for money," Nick proudly exclaimed.

I quickly got alarmed because Nick plays with some of the cars that were mine from my childhood that I prefer he didn't sell on Main Street. A quick inventory revealed they were indeed all his.

"Well, how are you doing so far," I asked?

"Not so good," he replied. I saw his disappointment.

I could see that traffic was low and those that did walk by, walked even faster as an eight-year-old boy tried to shout his sales pitch at them.

"Why aren't they buying from me dad," he asked?

I didn't know how to respond to him.

a) The cars are old son, but not old enough for them to be worth more than $1.

b) The cars are kind of in rough shape. Some were broken. Some had probably suffered the same fate (hammer) as some of my cars did from my childhood.

c) There wasn't a big market for tiny metal cars on Main Street on Tuesday mornings, or any mornings for that matter.

He was getting discouraged and really needed a sale.

I went back inside to observe.

Along came a fellow I knew could be rope-a-doped in to buying a tiny die cast metal car. A man who knew the value of HotWheels and MatchBox alike.

Clay Rusk was a picky buyer, but could be persuaded. He approached the table and did the whole kick-the-tire business as he walked around looking for cosmetic flaws and such. He probably wanted to see what was under the hood, but unfortunately, the hood on this particular car didn't come open and I guessed it probably didn't have an engine to look at anyway.

It was a tough sale, but even car sales veteran Steve Bowe would have been proud. Nicholas worked the sale and soon Clay gave in and forked over $1.25 for the used Matchbox car and Nicholas thanked him and closed down for the day.

It was time to figure up profit on the car. Let's see. Nicholas paid $.95 for the car and had $0 in expense in turning the car. He put it on his tiny car lot for $1.25 and didn't take a penny less. Nick netted $.30 for the morning.

Come to think of it, I paid for the car he sold. Nick netted $1.25.

Nick spent about 5 minutes on the sale, so that makes him about $25 an hour - more than I make!

What did he do with the money? He went down to Alco and spent $.95 on another car.....

 

KWIBS - From June 26, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Sure, telemarketing firms are annoying, but imagine how much worse it would be if instead of people, they hired yippy little dogs to make the calls.

I have heard of some pretty creative things to get even with telemarketers, but I think I have one of the best ones.

Our office receives several calls of solicitations per week. All of them begin by asking, "May I speak with the owner of the company?" Some even ask for me or my wife personally.

In any case, Doris can quickly identify them and forward them to the appropriate department.

We call this department, extension 13.

Our voicemail system at our office allows us to have up to 99 extensions. One afternoon after receiving several telemarketing calls, I walked over to one of our least-used phones, picked it up and recorded the following message: "We’re sorry, if you’ve been sent to this extension it’s probably because you are trying to sell us something we don’t want to buy. No one checks this mail box......."

It’s been quite successful and mildly entertaining for us to send folks there.

I do check the box from time to time because sometimes telemarketers actual leave messages or you can hear the pause, and then maybe even a chuckle before they hang up.

However, a few folks have called after-hours and gotten extension 13 either by mistake, or by just beating in numbers on their phone out of frustration. I do apologize for that. Please listen carefully to our menu or cut this out and keep it by your phone.

If the auto attendant picks up and you know your party’s extension type it in.

Doris - 10

Ronda - 11

Tim - 12

Kevin (me) - 14

David - 15

If you are a telemarketer and just want to be run around in circles, press 13 now.

If you are having problems with telemarkters, here’s some good ideas to get rid of them:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up,my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the Rubberband Refrigerator Company, ask him to spell their name, then ask them to spell the company name, then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well,see ya."

11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my God!!!" and then hang up.

12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel smiling of course... [If nothing else, just thinking of this list the next time one calls you, you may begin to laugh out loud, which is sure to upset their concentration.

KWIBS - From June 12, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Last Wednesday, I received an interesting call from a sheriff’s deputy in Barber County.

A Suburban was pulled over on HWY 160 carrying 18 people. The Suburban seated 9, so twice the legal number of people were in the vehicle. As if this weren’t enough, all 18 people inside the Suburban were undocumented illegals from, you guessed it, Mexico. One had a Mexican driver’s license, who knew whether it was valid or if the driver had any warrants.

After a few phone calls to immigration and to Senator Pat Roberts Office, the deputy had to let them go.

Let them go where, I wondered?

Hopefully back to Mexico, but more likely to the next county, where the same story would be told. All of this after the day President Bush appeared on TV in Arizona and in New Mexico promising tighter boarder security and introducing the new Boarder Security Director.

Immigration authorities told our local sheriff’s department that they were not able to take care of our problem no matter how big or small.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Mexican people. This is just ridiculous.

Have you ever travelled to Mexico? I have on several occasions. Not once was I able (or willing) to sneak across their border undocumented.

As long as you are a well-behaved tourist, Mexico is a blast, but I know from stories of first-hand accounts of Mexican jails - and it doesn’t take much to end up in one in some areas.

? ? ? ?

Someone wrote a great editorial, which explains things better than all the stuff you hear on TV.

"Recently, large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that the U.S. might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house.

Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave.

But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hardworking and honest (except for when I broke into your house)."

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work, because he too is hardworking and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends, who will picket your house, carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself.

I'm hardworking and honest ... um, except for ... well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me!

I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being anti-housebreaker.

Did I miss anything?

Does this sound reasonable to you?

If it does, grab a sign and go picket something.

If this sounds insane to you, call your senators and enlighten them, because they are stumbling in the darkness right now, can't possibly understand the situation, and really need your help."

Have a great week amigos.

 

KWIBS - From June 5, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

I enjoy TV – probably too much. Thank God summer is nearing and I have something to do other than flip through the channels avoiding commercials. I almost had to quit watching TV because I developed some sort of thumb disorder that caused it to nearly hang off the bone from flipping so much and we all know how much we need thumbs. As humans, we need those opposable thumbs for such things as playing video games, scratching the insides of our noses and choosing whether gladiators live or die. This year I decided my thumb would be green.

Since the weather has changed and TV rerun season is on, I have developed a need to be outdoors. This year Ronda and I would plant a garden. In the past 18 years of marriage we have discussed a garden at least 14 times and planted twice. Our first attempt at a garden resulted in me mowing it down along with the rest of the yard after about a month of frustration.

This year would be different. We would have a super-garden that even a bag of kryptonite fertilizer couldn’t kill.

A few weeks ago I decided to get out the rototiller that hadn’t been started since my attempt at a lawn for my house in 1999. Since being unsuccessful at growing something as simple as grass, I have stuck to easily growing moldy items in my refrigerator.

After digging through the shed looking for the rototiller, I found it. For some stroke of dumb luck, it started on the second pull, not counting the 46 pulls before realizing it had no gas in the gas tank.

A puff of smoke later, I had an earth-chewing machine at my disposal and I was ready to use it, even though I had no idea what to do with it.

I spent the next few days tilling and building a fence to keep out the critters. We planted the vegetables a few nights later. Our garden is growing and Ronda and I think we might have a knack for this. Every single plant we put in the ground is now growing.

My sis came over that evening with her family and dropped a hint that she too wanted a garden, but her rototiller was broken. Since the last time I did something nice for her was to give her Barbie a free hair cut in 1981, I volunteered to help her get her garden started.

The next day I drove to her house and called her to find out exactly where she wanted it. She and my brother-in-law had a lot of cattle earlier this year near their house and built a nice stock yard. They felt this would be the best place to grow a garden since the cows had kindly fertilized for them.

I located the exact spot and fired up the tiller. I was going to make my sister a garden and I was feeling pretty good about myself. The tiller fired up and I engaged the tines and put the tiller to the ground. The second I did I fully realized what 200 head of cattle waling around does to the earth. For those of you who don’t understand where this is going, a 1200 pound cow packs the ground harder than concrete. The tiller skipped across the ground and before I knew it, I was face down in something that didn’t smell very pleasant.

I jumped up and made sure no one saw me. I was safe, only their donkey "Shooter" was there. I tried again. Shooter came near and chewed on the handle of the tiller as to say, "let me help you…. idiot."

After he stuck his nose in my rear-end a couple of times, I let him out of the pen. He stood near showing his teeth. I’m sure he was laughing. I continued to work - and work it was. I made several more attempts at tilling that resembled something more like water skiing. I spent two hours to get a spot 12’ by 20’ long – about half the area my sister wanted for a garden.

I was beginning to think a little glue, some hair from Shooter’s tail and a sincere apology could fix that Barbie.

I took a break and opened my cooler to get a sandwich. My entire body hurt and my thumbs had no feeling. Great, I could have just continued flipping channels and crippling them that way.

Maybe next year I can grow grass on concrete.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From April 17, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

My mission seemed easy – infiltrate a Kansas Corvair club meeting on April 8, 2006 in Derby, Kansas.

Under cover, I would be traveling with David Fasgold, owner of one such car, the Corvair of 1965.

The objective – find out what the heck all these guys are doing buying and refurbishing cars that Ralph Nadar says are unsafe at any speed.

My journey began at 5 p.m. Saturday as we left Medicine Lodge on HWY 160 in a car I was unsure could actually make the speed limit. Surprisingly, it did a few times.

We just missed the supper meeting place and proceeded to find the meeting at the city’s recreation building.

It was pretty easy to find. Look for all the geeky guys driving upside down bathtub-looking cars. We saw the dozen or so cars lined up in the parking lot of the recreation commission along with their respected owners. Each of these guys resembled "Ned Flanders" of the cartoon "The Simpsons" on Fox. In fact, I later learned that their dee diddlee doo leader was none other than a man named "Ned."

David grew excited as we drove into the parking lot. Like he’d just seen an old war buddy that was reported KIA. Actually, most of these cars were reported KIA, but someone kept resurrecting them and dragging them out to Corvair meetings. There were more cars than people. This made me scratch my head until it was made known many of the owners had multiple examples of the Corvair that they had brought for this meeting. There were competitions between those with later and earlier models, so everyone brought out every piece of scrap they could find.

I also felt like I was in a scene from invasion of the body snatchers where all the other Corvair guys were detecting that I wasn’t part of their group and they pointed and shrieked at me, a way of identify outsiders to their group. I would be consumed by their slimy pods.

As a kid, I always wanted to be in a club. The only things I collected were stamps. However, there was no club and nobody met. If we would have met, it would have gone something like this.

"Hey Brett, nice One Cent Lincoln Stamp. You didn’t lick that did you? If you licked it, you cut the value in half. I would have been more interested in the club for protection from rival clubs like the sports card collectors.

These guys were passionate about their Corvair club. Many of the guys were wearing Corvair attire like hats, shirts, jackets and possibly underwear.

Within five minutes of our arrival, David and most of the members were on the ground, prostrate, worshiping a silver Corvair. I later learned they were all examining the drive train. My mistake. The meeting moved inside and "Ned", their leader, opened the meeting by introducing everyone.

Being on the guest side of the table, I was introduced as the guy who, "Didn’t own a Corvair, but did own an AMC Gremlin." There were grunts and long thoughtful groans as eyes around the room focused on me. I didn’t know whether to break out and run or say, "Look, over there! Ralph Nader is keying your cars!" or just slip outside and quietly stack their cute little cars all together so they couldn’t pull out of the parking lot.

The meeting was well underway when David took the floor to make a very important announcement.

"There’s a car and bike show in Medicine Lodge on Saturday, June 3, 2006," he said. "Our band, Dorfus CrackTractor will be playing at the show," he continued. David brought flyers and was handing them out.

Now David is a Corvair club member who could be considered a "newbie" to the Derby area. This seemed to attract attention. He was a Corvair enthusiast and a musician. I could see that there was a movement of interest towards our end of the table.

An alpha male of the Corvair group spoke up and announced that there was a meet in El Dorado that same day and there were "free" hot dogs after the parade.

Crap, those darn "free" hot dogs.

Someone announced to the group that the car show t-shirts in Medicine Lodge were free to those who paid their entries.

The alpha male reminded the group of how nice the people were that put on the parade in El Dorado.

David was losing the crowd. I could see he was in trouble and needed my help.

I disguised my voice and said, "I make a motion we all go to Medicine Lodge to their car and bike show. All in favor say so!"

I didn’t fool anyone. They knew it was me--the guy with the AMC Gremlin. The only car that drew more attention from the Corvair, simply by being uglier and probably more unsafe.

"Get them," I heard them scream as they lit their torches!

No, actually they laughed.

After much discussion about, none other than Corvairs, and a small argument about how big the steaks should be at their next get together, the group did "show and tell." Ned started by sharing his very funny story about his Corvair checking account and his difficulties cashing a money order. Knowing that I was about to say something I would regret or would warrant a severe beating, I quietly left my seat and wondered the hallways of the recreation building.

I heard music down the long corridor. I walked the line and peeked in the room where the strangest thing caught my attention. Square dancers.

I had gone from bad to worse. I watched through the reflection in the glass on a window across from the square dancers until a man came out and I quickly returned to my seat.

Back at show and tell, it was David’s turn and he held up his item for the group.

A long series of "ooooooo’s" and "ahhhhhhhh’s" filled the room as David showed off his rebuilt door hinge and spring.

It was like David had traveled to a far off land with his new invention, "fire."

At 45 mph, we traveled home from Derby with no heater. I reflected on the strange Corvair people.

David had won their respect.

The evening was very surreal. The last thing that struck me odd was seeing a bonfire in the distance and jokingly saying, "Oh look, a KKK meeting. Maybe we should catch that too."

Seconds later we were passed by an early 80’s model Chevy pickup that had two Confederate flags mounted in back. The truck turned in to the bonfire.

We said nothing to each other until Wellington.

KWIBS - From April 3, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

It’s the hottest thing going now. If you don’t have one, you’re a square. Wait, that was so fifties.

Web blogs are now the "in" thing. If you don’t know what a blog is, I’m sure someone has written an entire blog on blogging.

What is a blog?

I first heard the word a few years ago and thought it was a cool word, but the concept wasn’t anything new. According to the blogging experts, a blog is a shared on-line journal where people can post diary entries about their personal experiences and hobbies. Blogs are also like opinions and opinions are like, well you know…..

Like I said, nothing new here, just building on an old concept that a teenage girl kept in a pink book with a tiny, worthless lock and key. Yeah, sis, I read your "blogs", only it was a called a diary back then and Strawberry Shortcake was on the cover. I’m really sorry about leaving you at the cemetery late that one night when you were only 7.

I did a quick search of blogs and there are blogs on dogs, blogs on cats blogs on war, blogs on Bush, blogs on television shows, blogs on current events, blogs on health and yes, even blogs on creating blogs. It seems everyone wants to share their experience about something.

This is mostly being done by the younger generation of web surfers who spend their entire night on the Internet, which, by the way it is 12:09 a.m. and I am still working on putting this info into a Word Document. So, it’s kind of a blog.

Blogs are too much of an open book in most cases. They have become popular with services such as "MySpace.com". I think it is a HUGE mistake to keep a blog here where people and potential perverts can learn almost all they need to know about you with the click of a mouse.

No worries for me though. This is how my blog would read:

Dear blog,

March 29th, 2006: I was awakened at 7:30 a.m. by the sound of roaring blow-dryers. I swear my daughter puts on her makeup with a backhoe in reverse. I could have slept another hour or more. Too bad I insisted on staying up to watch Mythbusters until 2 a.m.

I have to get up. It’s time for my shower and to get dressed. Which pair of camo pants will I wear today? Tiger stripes, desert combat or jungle? They are all so comfortable. I love the way Ronda makes my socks smell. I don’t know how she does it. Brushing your teeth and shaving in the shower saves so much time and it’s so much less messy. You just have to be awake enough to know which to shave with and which to brush your teeth with.

It’s now 10 a.m. I’m not sure how I got here at my desk. I’ve had my 12th cup of coffee. I can’t find my glasses. Oh, here they are on my head. Wow, it’s already time for lunch. I hate waiting 5 1/2 minutes on high to nuke a Healthy Choice dinner that will leave me hungry in 30 minutes. I’ll just cook two to be safe.

Early this afternoon, I was all alone. Oh, the horror. Thank God Ronda came back from the post office when she did. The phone was a killer and one customer asked a question that I just couldn’t answer. Fortunately, I was only convinced to sign up for one more credit card and the customer wanted a "prescription" not a "subscription". I hope he’s not mad that I sent him down the street to the pharmacy.

I’ve answered all my emails without buying a fake Rolex, investing in a company called IMOD, or refinancing my property at 110 N. Main that I don’t even own - not a bad day’s work. I should get a Black Cherry Coke and celebrate.

Before leaving town, I aired up my tire. I’ve been doing this for two weeks. I should just get the hole fixed, but I get great satisfaction from filling up something on my truck for "FREE".

For supper I had chicken on the grill, a baked potato and salad.

I’m so glad they kicked Lisa off of the American Idol. She just didn’t have the right voice and Simon hated her.

Before bed, I ate a bowl of Grape Nuts. I’m ahead of the next day on my fiber intake.

I’m changing the channel to….. Man, Bill O’Reilly is a genius. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

KWIBS - From March 13, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

If you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you’ll nod your head as you read this week. I’m not alone in the struggle to battle weight gain.

I’m also in a particularly interesting position of having to eat right and exercise due to a recent (4 months ago now) heart episode.

It’s amazing what some chest pain and a couple of surgeries will do to get you motivated to take care of yourself.

And so it goes....

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 18.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island and Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep -fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created insurance companies and HMOs.

Ok God, it’s your turn. Save us......

It’s not easy getting fit, but one place in town does make it a little easier. The Wellness Center on Main Street has super torture devices, I mean exercise equipment and expert advice on how to shed pounds, tone up and get heart healthy.

Maybe you’ve thought about stopping in, but you just can’t seem to find the time or build up the courage. Or maybe you were like me and went every day for more than a year and then stopped suddenly and never got the motivation to go back?

I’m writing this not only to encourage you to find the time and motivation, I’m also trying to keep myself motivated.

According to the U.S. Health and Human Service: Physical inactivity contributes to 300,000 preventable deaths each year in the United States.

Daily physical activity can (among other things):

• Substantially reduce the risk of developing cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain cancers.

• Lower blood pressure and cholesterol.

• Help slow the development or progression of osteoporosis.

• Reduce the livelihood of obesity and symptoms such as anxiety and depression.

• Ease the symptoms of arthritis.

Thirty minutes, four times a week can make a difference in your health. Stop by or call 886-5370 to find out how you can benefit from The Wellness Center.

Have a great, healthy week!

 

KWIBS - From February 6, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

Don't put those winter coats away just yet. What? You never got them out?

The world's most famous weather prognosticating groundhog was roused from his burrow at 7:23 a.m. Thursday and saw his shadow, a sign that there will be six more weeks of winter.

I said, "Bring it on" as I walked outside in my shorts and sandals at 8 a.m. to get the dog. Isn’t global warming wonderful?

And though the crowds booed, hundreds were rowdy anyway, dressed in black and gold and swirling Pittsburgh Steelers Terrible Towels in the air in anticipation of Sunday's Super Bowl. Again, I yawned.

Phil even got in on the Steelers frenzy, with his handlers draping a Terrible Towel over him as he emerged. Earlier, members of the groudhog's famed Inner Circle threw the trademark towels at the crowds as they sang "Here we go Steelers!" Phil, scared, pooped on the floor.

Each Feb. 2, thousands of people descend on Punxsutawney, a town of about 6,100 people located about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh, for a little midwinter revelry, celebrating what had essentially been a German superstition.

The Germans believed that if a hibernating animal casts a shadow Feb. 2 — the Christian holiday of Candlemas — winter will last another six weeks. If no shadow is seen, legend says spring will come early.

"This is just a ball. I'm having so much fun," said Nancy Durr, who had rub-on Punxsutawney Phil tattoos on each of her cheeks. Durr, of Paxton, Neb., who came to this small western Pennsylvania town with her six brothers and sisters to celebrate her 50th birthday.

"Next year, I am going to water a plant and watch it grow," she said.

She had been outside awaiting Phil's arrival since about 2:15 a.m. Thursday. Seriously... I won’t even stand in line for free concert tickets and this chick stood outside for a rodent....

"I just always wanted to spend my birthday here," she said.

Susan Leal traveled from Rancho Cucamonga, Calif. The trip was a gift from her husband, John, for her 40th birthday.

I think John needs to spice things up a bit.

"I've always dreamed of coming to see Punxsutawney Phil," Leal said. "It's in my genes. I have just always wanted to do this."

According to the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club, Phil has seen his shadow 96 times, hasn't seen it 14 times and there are no records for nine years. That makes Phil the oldest-living, mostly wrong, groundhog of all times.....

The last time Phil failed to see his shadow was in 1999. Still, Thursday's forecast was calling for variable cloudiness and a high of about 48 degrees — significantly warmer than the temperatures in the teens the last two years.

But the weather is secondary. The real point is having fun.

"It's kind of crazy that so many people come here," said Justine Juart, 21, of Punxsutawney. Justine is obviously single.

Nic Weymouth, 27, and Ben Thompson, 30 (also probably single), traveled from Alabama to join in the fun. Both are big fans of the 1993 Bill Murray movie "Groundhog Day."

I’m guessing Justine will hook up with one of these party animals....

"That's probably what turned us on to Groundhog Day," said Weymouth, a preacher.

Thompson began planning the journey while he was in Tanzania, Africa, where he spent two years as a missionary.

"He said, 'The first February I'm home, we're going to Punxsutawney,"' Weymouth said while stopped at the edge of town to pose for pictures in front of a large groundhog cutout.

Because no tickets are sold, organizers don't do an official count. But, an estimated 2,000 people were on hand last year, when Groundhog Day fell on a Wednesday. Crowds are larger when Groundhog Day falls on or closer to the weekend and in 2002, estimates placed the number of revelers at 30,000 to 40,000.

Interest in the town's festivities got a huge boost after "Groundhog Day," in which Murray plays a television reporter covering Groundhog Day. Each day he wakes up to the same day.

"As repetitive as it can be, it's different every year," said Mike Johnston, a member of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club's Inner Circle — the top-hat- and tuxedo-wearing businessmen responsible for carrying on the tradition.

In his regular duties, Johnston is the evil banker who knocks on widows’ doors demanding payment on the mortgage or face foreclosure on the farm... Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 30, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

"Roughing it" is a phrase that seldom slips into my vocabulary. I admire those who can rough it, but it’s not a situation I try to put myself in. I hear stories from my friend Nate, who is in the Army. He told me a tale of survival in a course he took years ago. In his survival course, Nate was forced to live off the land for several days while eluding an imaginary force of "bad" army guys. At one point in his two week long adventure without food, he was forced to eat the remains of a freshly hit dog on the highway. He said it tasted like chicken and really wasn’t that bad.

If I were on the run for two weeks without food I am sure I would resort to eating some pretty disgusting things, but I would hope I could find a payphone and order Dominos Pizza, which I find disgusting.

You could say that roughing it for me would be settling for a hotel without a coffee pot or hair dryer in the room. I’m kind of used to being somewhat pampered. I hear the stories of people who survived plane crashes by eating other victims. Most likely, I would have been been the passenger who was eaten. I might be able to force myself to eat another human being if there was like a cargo hold of Ranch Dressing on the plane with me. I just hope to never be in that situation.

It’s all over the news. You see where an unlikely survivor of an earthquake was able to hold out for several days with nothing to eat or drink other than his own….. yes, urine. It’s disgusting, but amazing.

I don’t even camp because I can’t be without my necessities. I’m so set in my ways and routine that I can hardly manage if faced with having to rough it.

Last week we made a trip to Wichita to my daughter’s ball tournament. The game ended late, dinner reservations fell through, and we were forced to take a late spot at a restaurant for our group of 10 people. Service took a long time and by the time dinner was finished, it was nearly 11 p.m. and we were full and tired. Nobody wanted to drive home and since we have family that live in the Wichita area, they convinced us to just spend the night.

Spending the night anywhere other than my own bed takes preparation at the very least for me. Many things have to be packed in my "survivor" kit before I can sleep away from home. I’m kind of anal in this respect, but it’s just who I am and I am not about to change.

Some of my essentials include, but are not limited to: Toothpaste and toothbrush, mouthwash, Q-tips, my brand of soap, razor, shampoo and conditioner, my vitamins and heart medicine are a must, clean clothes, my bathrobe, jam jams, my contour pillow, a fan for white noise, my laptop, a TV, my dog, bottled water, a bedtime snack, chapstick and a nightlight.

It takes me several days in advance to pack for a one night’s stay with friends or family. I just can’t help it.

My wife will tell you she is less maintenance, but she’s lying. I’ve seen her pack things like, pillows, several changes of clothes and shoes and even our coffee pot and coffee before.

I will admit, coffee is essential for me as well, but when staying in Wichita, I can usually hold out until I reach a Starbucks, which are conveniently located every 250 feet apart in the city. Ronda, on the other hand, must have "her" coffee, made at her convenience.

So we were roughing it last weekend when we had none of the above with us and were forced to spend the night. We slept in the same clothes as we had on the day before, were forced to shower with other than our own soap and even had to skip brushing our teeth. But my wife would not go without coffee, and being an early riser, was first up and on the hunt for the magic brown fluid we so love.

Not being familiar with our cousins’ house, Ronda searched frantically for coffee. After finding the coffee pot and some stale coffee (our cousins aren’t big coffee drinkers) she went in search of the coffee filters. Apparently, the search for coffee filters went on for several minutes before Ronda’s survival instinct kicked in. She finally gave up and began thinking of ways to make coffee without the coffee filter.

I could smell the coffee brewing and knew it was my cue to get up and partake. Little did I know what she had done.

I poured myself a cup and sat down at the breakfast table. Just as I was about to take a sip she said, "I had to improvise on the coffee this morning."

The cup was nearly at my lips. The aroma filled my nose with joy.

"I couldn’t find the filters so I went into the baby’s room and searched for something to make a filter with," she said.

"Oh?," I said.

By this time I was flirting with the warmth of the coffee on my lips.

"I got a diaper out and cut out the middle and made a filter," she proudly proclaimed!

I put the coffee down and I know I must have looked scared.

"What’s wrong," she asked?

By this time our cousin Andy was in the room and overheard her coffee story and ran into the baby’s room. He returned with the diaper box and began reading the materials in the diapers.

The anatomy of a Disposable Diaper: The outer cover of a disposable diaper is made of special plastic that has been formulated to feel like cloth. But it's still plastic, and it is waterproof and coffee proof, so Ronda cut that part off.

The absorbent middle layer, or Ronda’s makeshift coffee filter, is the essence of the "magic" disposable. It has a cotton/polyester mesh that covers a chemical powder that will turn into gel when it gets wet and release pleasing fragrance. The gel is supposed to stay inside the diaper but it's common for parents to find gel beads on their baby's skin during a diaper change or in Ronda’s case, in the bottom of her cup. The gel will allow for multiple pees, or one good brew, before needing a change. The child will probably not feel wet until the diaper gets very full. And for the coffee drinker? Well, the coffee drinker may or may not become ill, depending on how many cups he or she drinks from the baby diaper coffee filter.

It was an hour later before we made it to Starbucks, but I am proud to say, I made it without drinking Ronda’s survival brew.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From January 9, 2006 - By Kevin Noland

You’ve probably heard someone say it, or even have said it yourself, "kids think they’re so smart." Some even think they’re smarter than their parents. Being the father of two teenagers, a boy and a girl, I experience the intelligence of both sexes of this generation. But hold on – we may have spoken too soon.

A cliché it may be, but you have to admit it’s true. Most kids are much smarter than their parents at programming the video recorder or setting up the new computer. Almost certainly they can thrash Mom and Dad at video games. And they always think they are smarter than their parents.

But here’s the surprise: those kids may be right. If IQ tests tell us anything at all, today’s young people really are smarter than their parents! Studies from numerous countries suggest that IQ scores have been rising sharply since at least the 1950s.

Humans, it seems, even teenagers, are getting more and more clever with each passing generation.

But not so fast. Intelligence is a slippery thing at the best of times. There’s a serious argument among psychologists over just what the upward trend in IQ scores really means. Some researchers argue that we’re not getting more intelligent overall, just getting better at a particular sort of problem-solving.

In my travels and studies of the human teenager subject, I believe the trend may be about to grind to a screeching halt. My new research proves that parents are actually smarter than their children 60% of the time, everytime.

Humor me for a moment.

Remember back when you were a kid. Think about an instance where you were caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing. Got something in your mind now? Good. Now remember your parents saying something like, "Don’t try to pull that over on me. I was your age once and I’ve done everything you’ve done (and possibly more) and you won’t get away with it."

Your parents remind you that they’ve been there, done that, and that you as a teenager weren’t doing anything new.

Now fast forward to 2006. Yes, it’s already 2006 and still no flying cars.

My middle son, Joey, is 13 and for the most part, a really good kid. He avoids mischief, when at all possible. He’s your typical teenage boy: gamer, always sitting in front of either the TV or the PC, showers more frequently and without being reminded as often, eats anything not healthy or nailed down, has an attention span shorter than Ashlee Simpson’s career and has one annoying habit – he has to jump up and touch the ceiling like every 10 minutes.

I don’t know if it is his way of showing us how tall he is, how high he can jump, or if he just wants to be reassured he has a roof over his head, but Joey loves to run and jump and touch the ceiling. Breeann, my 16 year-old daughter, did the same when she was younger and often resorts to this same behavior when provoked by her brother.

I also remember this isn’t anything "new" to teenagers.

Rewind with me to 1985-1986.

It was a new school year with new seniors and I recall third hour. The bell would ring and the room cleared and we would have three minutes to get to our next class. A group of upper classmen would run down the hall by the art classroom (taught by none other than Claudia Vollbacht). As they passed her classroom door, there was a short flight of stairs that everyone naturally jumped over. While jumping, it was customary for them to slap the speaker-bell hanging over the stairs. The bell was kind of loose and would swing a little bit and made for a fun target. After a while, we as freshmen would do the same thing. Art imitates life I guess.

One morning that tradition came to a halt, when a friend of mine (name withheld to protect his identity) jumped up and hit the bell. The bell swung a bit then was hit by another friend (name withheld to protect his identity). This time the bell came flying off the ceiling and went skidding down the hallway.

We were terrified.

I remember clearly the interrogations of Bud Moore, principal at the time. There were too many witnesses and eventually there came a confession.

Now fast forward to present again.

Jumping up and touching the ceiling seems to be an unavoidable behavior in teenagers. I often get annoyed by this, but usually let it pass. The one rule I have is: If you jump and touch the ceiling don’t hit anything or break anything. It’s not really a written or spoken rule, but it is implied and understood clearly.

But that didn’t stop Joey from jumping up and slapping a certain item on our ceiling last week.

In our home we have several fire and smoke detecting devices. One such device is a spring-loaded fire alarm that, once heat is detected over a certain temperature, it releases a triggered spring that sets off a 10 minute alarm that cannot be stopped until the spring reaches the end. The alarm is, well, "alarming." It is perhaps the loudest, most annoying sound in the world, next to Ashlee Simpson singing. The alarm is designed to, well, "alarm" in the event of fire in your home.

What happened next took place in slow motion. I watched as Joey came out of the bathroom and jumped up and hit the fire alarm. He gave it a tap and knocked off the trigger. The alarm well, "went off" and "alarmed us" to his stunt.

Everyone came out of their rooms to see what was happening.

In an unrelated side note, I did discover that in the event of a fire in my home, the alarm will sound and everyone will come to where the alarm is and die a horrible death after being engulfed by flames. But that’s another column.

I was not pleased by this act of stupidity, but wasn’t particularly angry. I was annoyed because we were getting our house in order for company. I was cooking dinner and Ronda was cleaning. Now we were all holding our hands over our ears like we were listening to an Ashlee Simpson song.

You can’t stop the noise, but you can muffle it by holding your hand on the alarm. And what more of an appropriate punishment could be handed down than to place a chair under the alarm and force Joey to stand on his tippy-toes muffling it? How about winding the alarm after it is finished? That takes about 10 minutes as well and is a feat in itself.

I did learn something by all of this. IQ levels may be on the rise in our youngsters, but stupidity is still handed down from generation to generation.

Have a great week!

KWIBS - From December 12, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, but don't expect to hear someone say it.

There sure is a lot of noise this year about saying "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas.

I was thinking about the whole "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy Holidays" debate. Why can’t the atheists and/or the ACLU leave that alone? I don’t remember them going after the "Happy Halloween" crowd. Since when does Satan and Frankenstein get more pull than Jesus and Santa Claus?

Even commercials and advertisers are giving in to pressure by excluding saying "Merry Christmas" in their promotions. It’s pretty silly to see a picture of a Christmas tree accompanied by "Happy Holidays". Come on, it’s a Christmas tree, not a Holiday tree.

I don’t mind a "Happy Holiday" greeting from someone. I just don’t want it replacing my traditional feelings for Christmas. And I don’t want it imposed on me that it isn’t OK to say "Merry Christmas".

What really fires people up over this issue is that Christmas is a religious holiday and almost 90% of Americans celebrate it and observe it as a Christian holiday. Why then are we making such a fuss over 10% of the country not observing it?

I’ve read stories where retailers are making their employees say "Happy Holidays" as opposed to "Merry Christmas" so as not to offend anyone. Well, that offends me and I am sure it offends a majority of the employees it is imposed upon. For example, Wal-mart is one of many stores asking its employees to replace "Merry Christmas" with "Happy Holidays". The company says its trying not to offend anyone, by catering to one kind of celebration.

What’s next? Will we have to be so politically correct that we have to change the greetings of all the holidays? If we have to, let me be the first to make them up.

I’m sending out a memo to all my employees. It will now be proper for them to say the following greetings where appropriate holidays come in to question.....

- Happy day we celebrate the nation’s symbol sewn onto cotton and flown from a pole!

- Happy day off work! (No, never mind.... just work!)

- Happy recognition of those who have died day! (at least we all celebrate or become celebrated on this one...)

- Happy feelings for another human being day where we give flowers and chocolates to show our affections! Gender not important, so as not to offend.

- Happy beer drinking, green wearing day!

- Happy ignite gunpowder fueled, loud noise making devices that light up the sky day!

- Happy first day of May! ... duh

- Happy person you work for day!

- Happy Martin Luther King Day! Oh.... that one’s already politically correct.

- Happy leader of our country day!

- Happy chocolate egg laying rabbit day! They’ve already screwed that one up.

- Happy birth giving human day! This one applies to both men and women who have chosen to procreate.

- Happy round-globe of which we live on day!

- Happy "man who supposedly discovered our country" day!

- Happy .....August.... (There wasn’t anything going on and to be fair to all the months.....)

- Happy devil worshiping day! OK, that was uncalled for, I know.... so how about... - Happy scary mask, candy eating day!

- Happy war people day.

- Happy overeating, while watching football day!

- Happy first calendar day of the year!

Anyway, I’ll be saying "Merry Christmas" this season and don’t worry, I won’t be offended if you say "Happy Holidays" back to me, but don’t even expect me to get you a "Happy Holiday Gift" because it isn’t going to happen.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Ha, I said it!

KWIBS - From November 21, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

Sometime between Labor Day and Valentines we rush into this frenzy of holidays that I like to call "Hallowthanksnewismasyear". It’s a time where leaves fall off trees, we hang pumpkins off the turkey tree and eat black beans, while promising to lose weight and stop looking more and more like that guy who brought us presents on December 25th.

It all just seems like a blur, but we just celebrated Halloween and this week we’ll be eating turkey. I’d say I don’t know where the time went, but since I spent 5 days in ICU at the Kansas Heart Hospital, a week off my feet and now back to half days at the office, I have a good idea where the time went.

With my recent "heart episode" I have been trying to follow a new type of diet. It’s the type of diet where you eat food that doesn’t taste good, while watching your friends stand in line for corn dogs at the deli. You can only imagine how difficult this is during the holidays.

If it just wasn’t plain wrong, I’d wish heart-attacks on them all for eating that stuff in front of me, but I’m not that vicious and I am really starting to enjoy things with 0g of "trans-fats" NOT. These things are called "air" for the most part. You just imagine you’re eating something yummy while in reality, you’re just breathing.

This whole new diet thing is like trying to quit smoking. I remember after quitting long ago the smells of someone who had just smoked a cigarette and how bad I wanted one. You just wanted to put your nose in close to them and inhale, hoping to catch a buzz off of the nicotine trapped in their hair. My mom came to visit me last weekend and I gave her a hug and caught a whiff of something, "Hey, you smell like Mexican food!" She had just eaten Mexican food in Pratt. Man, I wished I could have had Mexican food. I have missed the friendly, dark-skinned, border-crossing, heart-haters’ food. And I miss their funny big hats.

I padded her down, but didn’t find anything on her and sent her on her way.

Ronda felt bad for me. She knew I wanted Mexican so she surprised me with chips and salsa one afternoon. I eagerly tore into the sack of chips and had her open the jar (I didn’t have the strength to open a jar and wanted her to feel useful – hey, give me a break. I just had a heart attack three weeks ago.)

I dipped the chip into the salsa and took a bite, "What the heck is this?"

I didn’t mean to be ungrateful, but I’ve tasted cardboard with more flavor than these chips. I looked at the bag and they were "baked" chips. I had tasted the salsa, but the chip wasn’t really there. It was more like a delivery system for the salsa. After reading the bag, I understood why I didn’t taste the chip. The chips had no "trans fats", no "saturated fats", no "sodium", no "carbs" and most importantly, absolutely no "taste". They were like a disposable, dissolving spoon…….

I began to wonder, had I been delivered from my heart attack to be forced into a world of hellish tasting foods? For a moment I wished my brush with death had turned out differently.

Being in ICU for five days was like introducing kryptonite to Superman. I was weak and needed to regain my strength. Since they didn’t feed me well in the hospital, I expected to be fed once I got home.

I had been fortunate enough to have Ronda as my nurse while home resting. There were many benefits to having my attractive wife as my nurse. For one thing, she would cook me some pretty darn good meals that week I was home getting my strength back. She also helped me out of my chair, helped me put on my socks, etc....

Once I started venturing out of the house before lunch, I became responsible for my own nourishment with strict orders to stay within the rules for eating: no trans fats, low saturated fats, no taste, you get the idea.

Have you ever shopped for foods without these things in them? It’s pretty tough. I’ve learned to hate reading labels on foods. They’re like seeing attractive movie rental covers and then reading the back to find out that no one you know is in the movie and it probably sucks. After reading several, you pick one that looks good, go home and watch it, only to find out it sucks. That’s what food shopping has been like for me.

As a general rule, if there is a food I once liked and it has a substitute sitting next to it that has a big "low fat" sticker on it – avoid it like the plague. It won’t taste anything like what I remembered the good stuff did.

Last week we dug out the George Foreman Grill. I soon realized why we had stored it away in the first place. If you want to make yourself a tasteless, greaseless steak, here’s your tool. It cooks a sirloin in 5 minutes and leaves it as tasty as a piece of shoe leather.

And now that I’ve managed to eat right for three weeks, we enter into the middle of the "Hallowthanksnewismasyear" holiday, commonly known as "Thanksgiving". Thanksgiving is better known for foods that have great taste, possibly so great, I can’t eat it.

Let’s examine the menu:

Turkey: yes, I can eat that as long as you peel off all the skin, rinse off all the taste, make sure it’s white meat and that the turkey had a complete physical before becoming the meal.

Ham: no, this is pork and pork is very fattening. Did Porky ever look healthy to you?

Dressing: no, I shouldn’t eat this. I don’t really know what’s in there, but it tastes way too good to be something that I can eat. I should avoid this, but I will probably take some and hide it under Beets. Beets are ok, but I hate them. They’ll simply come in handy for hiding things I can’t eat. I’ll throw them away once I’ve dug out the yummy foods underneath.

Green bean casserole: Yes, I can eat this once I rinse off the cream of mushroom and French-fried onions, making this dish simply "green beans".

Mashed potatoes and gravy: Yes and no. I can eat the mashed potatoes without the gravy, but only about a teaspoon of them because starchy foods should be avoided.

Bacon-wrapped water chestnuts: Yes, I can eat these after disassembling them into their basic elements – the toothpick, the water chestnut and the bacon. I can eat the toothpick and water chestnut but have to throw the bacon away.

Layered salads: No, I hate this stuff anyway and now I have an excuse why I can’t eat it. Not only does it make me gag, but it is full of trans-fats, or so I have been told.

Rolls: Yes, as long as they are whole-grained breads and no butter or margarine. Just choke it down with a glass of water.

Dessert: Are you kidding? If I get dessert it will be while hiding in the closet somewhere while the football game is on.

Happy Thanksgiving......

 

From November 7, 2005

Have you ever had one of those days that didn’t go as planned?

My column is going to be a bit scattered this week, but bare with me and find meaning in it, where you can.

I had one of those days last Monday. It was a Monday like any other Monday that started off great, but ended in near death for me. Yes, you read that correctly.

I got to work kind of late, got some work done and grabbed a bite to eat. After lunch I began experiencing some discomfort that I credited to the spicy food I had just eaten. I blew off the first couple of waves of pain and went about my business.

The pain didn’t stop and it came more frequently and I became concerned. This was the type of pain you see on TV when Fred Sanford had a heart attack. I didn’t really think that was the case, but didn’t want to risk it. So, like a good boy I drove myself to see my doctor.

By 1:30 p.m., my pain hadn’t stopped and my doctor believed I was indeed having a heart attack. He called a helicopter for me, put me on the necessary meds to stabilize me and by 4:30 p.m. I was at the Kansas Heart Hospital in Wichita, KS.

Tuesday morning, bright and early, I had a heart cath that revealed I was nearly 100% blocked on one side and 75% on the other. They immediately fixed the 100% blockage and sent me back to bed until Thursday afternoon to repair the other side.

I’m 36 and I have a family history of heart problems. But I never imagined in a million years I could have been so close to death over something you rarely think about – your heart.

You might read in our classified section letters of thanks and appreciation from people who have been in similar situations, but I sort of skim them. They didn’t have much meaning until now. It’s pretty tough to be able to express thanks in the classified section of my paper, but it just so happens I don’t have to. I can do it here and I can do it in a way that draws attention to several things.

Pete Meador has been my friend for a number of years and he’s been my family’s doctor for longer than I can recall. I’ve always known he’s a good doctor – even when I second guess him. I’ll stop doing that.

By God’s grace, Pete saved my life and gave me a little longer to be with my family and friends. Hey Medicine Lodge… We have a really good hospital and really competent people working there. If you don’t believe me get really sick and go see them. There are great nurses there, responsive EMTs, gentle lab technicians and people who will stop their other jobs to take care of someone in need. I was that someone.

I also got to take a helicopter ride that I am sure will be an interesting bill to open when I get home! These folks were really cool, although they wouldn’t fly me by my house to pick up an extra change of clothes or let me try flying. They’re just real people with important jobs that they take very seriously. They got me to Wichita in one piece and I appreciate it.

l love my family so much. They showed so much concern for me. Lowell and Cheri Dohrmann brought my kids up to see me Tuesday. My children were so sweet. Nicholas, my seven-year-old, already started changing his diet to accommodate me and my new diet! Joey and Nicholas both drew me funny pictures and my Daughter BreeAnn wrote me a beautiful letter that, well, it made me cry.

My wife held it together. She’s amazing. I went in for my second heart cath on her birthday Thursday, November 3. That’s not exactly how we planned on spending her birthday. She spent it in the waiting room with my parents and my sister and a friend Tim Crow. Later she fed me and stayed with me while I laid still for 4 hours.

Thursday’s heart cath was a little more complicated. I had some damage and blockage they hadn’t seen on the first peek. After about three hours on the table, they came out smiling and so did I.

I actually had them smiling going in. Humor was my way of relaxing (the awesome drugs they give you didn’t hurt either).

There’s a good group of people at Kansas Heart Hospital. My Doctor Roberts and his staff fixed my bad vessels. RNs: Jan, Angie, Mike, Brian, Mindi, Tami , Dani and Veronica – you guys made my stay a little easier. I would also like to thank the makers of Ativan, Valium, Restoril and Versed for making me extremely comfortable and Making Pink Floyd’s "The Wall" so much more interesting.

Our family here in the Wichita area gave Ronda a place to stay. ICU doesn’t allow sleep over guests, hehehe…. I tried, but they sent my wife out.

My dad knew exactly what I was going through and now we even share something more in common than bad genes – we had the same heart doctor, 19 years apart.

My office gang is awesome. I don’t know what I would have done without them. This is the first paper in 15 years that I had very little to do with. This column is about the extent of my work this week. The office staff deserves all the credit and thanks from me and Ronda for keeping things running. I’ll be giving them my critique when I get back to work in a couple of weeks. (Kidding of course).

Lots of people stepped up for me and Ronda and took our children in while Ronda stayed in Wichita with me. I know Mike and Christi Rutan helped us out, my sister, my mom, Carol Ward, Barbara Hawkins, Deb Kolb and I am sure there were others, but I was kind of out of it and didn’t keep up with everyone. Doris took care of my other kid, Hyde. Hyde is my dog and he gets a little lost without me and had a little separation anxiety. Knowing that my kids and my dog were ok, made it easier to be in the hospital.

I wasn’t a model patient as any of the staff will tell you. I quickly figured out how to disconnect myself from monitors and IV drips and wander off for moments of fresh air. Most the staff didn’t mind that I was restless and they understood. They were, after all, about all my age!

It’s strange where I went to a hospital where the young guy before me was in his late 50s. I bet that made him feel good when he heard I got checked in.

The community has been wonderful. Doris shared with me some of the calls I received and some of the visitors. As of yet, I haven’t been able to answer my emails.

On Wednesday I started answering the phone in my room, "Kansas Heart Hospital. This is Dick Cheney." That was David’s idea. I must have had 50 calls a day from people and before my stay ended I had more cards, letters and flowers than I could carry off. I even got a plant arrangement from Kandahar, Afghanistan! Of course it was from my buddy Dale who is serving there. I even got a phone call from him on Thursday night. People in Mexico sent their wishes!

Lots and lots of people came and visited. I appreciated Kevin Colborn coming in and he and Tim with helping me hack the hospital’s computer network so I could at least surf! I saw my accountant walk through the door and nearly died thinking he was going to give me bad financial news! Kidding Cecil! Cecil’s son Mike and his Grandpa Dwight poked in to say hi. My friend Gary Renburger, a correspondent from the paper Kim (Hoagland) Fowles and our local Superintendent Suzanne Germes came to see me. My bandmates David and Justin came in and had me laughing so hard it nearly gave me another heart attack while they were here. We had a little Dorfus CrackTractor unplugged moment, except for the fact that I was plugged in. I had classmates who drove from Medicine Lodge and Pratt to see me. My grade school music teacher Mrs. Tatera was also a patient there so I walked down to see her and her husband Art. My Pastor and his Wife, Michael and Jane Law came to see me and I met countless other pastors who were sent by friends to visit me while I was in the ICU.

I got well wishes from folks at the courthouse, calls from my Uncle in New Hampshire, a call from Mike Lynch and dear old friend Daryl Johnson, former Superintendent of Schools. My friend MT Main even found out and called me from his vacationings in Wisconsin. Tate and my brother-in-laws and my father-in-law called to cheer me up as well.

I already mentioned my family: Uncle Greg, Aunt Deb, Cousins Amanda and Andy and calls from Grandma Mildred and friends at Lake Arrowhead. Each one of them meant so much to me. If you came and saw me or called when I was under the influence of any sedatives, I might not have remembered you visited me, but I do appreciate you. It is so hard to name everyone.

I never got tired of any visitors. But each night they would leave and I realized how much I appreciated each one of their visits.

You almost hate to write down each and everyone who showed you kindness, but at the same time, you know who you were and you know I appreciate you helping me be here today and others who simply showed compassion to me and my family. It blesses us to the bottoms of our hearts – mine especially now that is it working agian.

Although I was anxious to get out of there, I was also in perfect peace about my situation and knew the promises God made me through his Son Jesus.

Seemed like a good time for a plug for that guy!

This is from Matthew 25. It has a new meaning to me: 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37"Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40"The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

Kevin 1 would read, "I was hungry, you didn’t feed me right away because I was going to have surgery, but afterwards you sneaked in food from Applebee’s and gave me something to eat and watched movies and shared pictures with me. I was thirsty, I wasn’t allowed a drink, but you gave me ice chips and you wet my lips, I was a stranger and afraid, but you gave me drugs and calmed me down, I needed clothes and you gave me a robe that showed my backside, I was sick and you took darn good care of me, I was in Prison (hospital), but you let me unplug my stuff to let me roam around and you let my friends and family come visit me and call me."

Thanks friends, I love you all – Have a great week!

KWIBS - From October 24, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

It takes very little to get the rumor mill started.

Have you ever played the game as a child and told the person next to you a secret? Then you watched as the secret went around the circle and came back to you told completely different?

Ah, those were the days. Things like, "Billy rides a white horse and eats peanut butter." Then it got back to you that, "Billy eats peanut butter covered horses….."

Well, things haven’t changed much since we were kids.

Aren’t you ever curious how some rumors start in Medicine Lodge?

Every time I hear a rumor, and ask the person how they got their information, ‘The Rumor Mill’ or ‘The Grapevine’ is always one of the top ‘vehicles’ that people mention. Now, that’s fine when the information is accurate (which it often is, I know). I’ve actually used the informal grapevine to pass along information for David to follow up on for a story or two.

But what about when the information is inaccurate? And where do those inaccurate rumors come from?

Last Tuesday, the talk of the area was about two convicts who had escaped from a prison facility in south central Oklahoma. A couple of really bad characters kidnapped a gal in the prison’s parking lot, bound her and took her and her van. Reports from authorities state they headed north, dumping the girl off alive and unharmed near Oklahoma City. They continued north until they dumped the van at the Kansas/Oklahoma border near South Haven.

From that point, nothing was a fact. Only rumors.

We happened to be in the area and picked up the news from friends and family. Schools in some of the small towns were "locked down" as a precaution and by the end of the day, several "sightings" had occurred in the area between Belle Plain and Ark City.

Our office received several calls of "tips" about the situation in town. My favorite came as I was walking out the back door with one of the Sheriff’s Deputies. The caller stated that she had just overheard at the courthouse that the two suspects were being arrested at the Barber County State Lake. That was news to the deputy I was accompanying.

Just as that call came in, another caller reported a sighting at nearly the exact same moment in Attica, KS. I was waiting patiently for the call that Elvis had been sighted at White’s Foodliner, but it never came.

So, I know what you are thinking. What does Kevin feel about the sightings of the convicts in Medicine Lodge?

Well, personally, I don’t think they were ever here. I think it was a case of mistaken identity and a few stirred up rumors that caused several to believe that they had seen the escaped convicts on Tuesday and Wednesday in the area.

One of the convicts confirmed my suspicions that they were never here after he was caught near Midwest City in Oklahoma on Wednesday night. The two were originally (allegedly) seen running through a field near Wellington, KS just hours earlier.

So, my belief is - the rumor mill was working overtime.

I was impressed with how thoroughly local authorities investigated reports and how the community took precaution over the news. But could it have been one of the men? Sure it could have.

Some rumors keep circulating long after they are debunked. Take for example this rumor that originated in the mid-1940s:

The Harvard School of Medicine will buy your body for $500. All you have to do is let them tattoo the words "Property of Harvard Medical School" on the bottom of your feet. When you die, your body will be shipped C.O.D. to Harvard. It spread by word of mouth back when $500 was a great deal of money.

The truth is, Harvard says it has never paid people for their bodies, and only accepts donations from people who specify in their wills that they want their bodies to go to the school. Even then, surviving relatives have to agree with the bequest. To this day, the school still receives several calls a week asking about the program.

I guess it is just human nature to take a story or event, retell it and ad flavor to it. It kind of makes you wonder how accurately history has been recorded. - Gotta run.. I think I just saw Elvis.

KWIBS - From October 10, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

Nothing is more disappointing than spending an hour and a half on a column to have the silent editor tell you that it isn’t fit for publication.

This happens more than you think, but some of those "banned" columns end up in the paper, despite the protests.

Every-once-in-awhile I’ll slip one past radar and it will make the paper. That usually gets me into trouble.

Those are the types of situations that come up in conversation ten years in the future.

"You don’t like my dress. Well, you remember that column you wrote about _____________." Insert your least favorite column I wrote in 1995.

I pass my column around the office for approval before I let my wife see what I have written. I sort of muster up support for "going to war" before I speak to congress.....

Congress denied my declaration this week. If you want to read it, you have to go to the website. It is a "web only" KWIBS article this week.

She only does it because she cares.

She says, "Yes, It’s very funny Dear, but you can’t put that in the newspaper."

I pout for a while and think of the hours wasted writing a column that I felt was worthy of a Pulitzer Prize.

She, on the other hand said, "You know, maybe you should send that article to one of those motorcycle magazines you like to read."

That’s kind of like saying, "Gee Honey, why don’t you put that in the stainless-steal trash can instead of the plastic trash can. She meant well, I think.

and here's the column.....

I’m no Howard Hughes, but sometimes I find myself a little uncomfortable when using bathrooms away from home.  Let’s face it. Most of them are dirty and disgusting. And some are poorly stocked….

I know. You’re thinking, “more toilet humor from the local publisher.”

Well, yes. This will be toilet humor, but I am sure you can either relate, or I can save you some real embarrassment.

All of us, as far as I know, use the bathroom on a regular basis and as you all can testify, when you “gotta go, you gotta go.” So, this column should come as no shock to you. It’s a part of life and we all live it.

If you’re anything like I am, certain things may make you “gotta go” more than other things.

Last week my wife took me out for my birthday. We took the whole day off and it was “my” day. I got to pick where we went and what we did. Naturally, I wanted to go to my favorite store – a music store, which happens to be at the opposite spectrum of favorite stores on my wife’s list of favorite things to do. But she accommodated me because it was my birthday and there happened to be a Pier One store next to the music store.

The trip up was uneventful. We stopped at the local Shell station before we left town for coffee – my certain thing that makes me “gotta go” and we left town shortly before 10 a.m. Time was everything. The closer to lunch time we got to Wichita, the less time I was likely to spend in the music store.

We got to Wichita a little after 11 a.m. and went straight to the music store. All my senses go on overload when I am in there. It’s like candy to me and I lose all feeling in my extremities and have not a lick of common sense. I handed over my credit cards, accepted birthday cash and began looking at walls of “gear,” as I call it. Guitars, speakers, amps and music stuff were everywhere. I was in heaven. My wife was in hell and she looked at her wrist like it was time to leave. She wasn’t even wearing a watch. I was just supposed to understand the gesture and I did.

I was about to wrap up my purchases and my shopping when the sudden urge hit me. I had to “go” and I had to “go” now.

I’d been in this particular store before, so I knew where the facilities were. They were pretty nice facilities too since this store opened up late this summer. I explained my situation to my wife and she nodded sympathetically and told me she was going to Pier One – meet her there when I was finished.

I sprinted around the corner and found the restrooms right where I had left them from a couple of months back visit. I put my shoulder into the door like a football player, spun around and locked it and took my seat.

My business in this department was quickly finished and I decided to cash out, so to speak. I reached for the “paper currency” normally placed handily on the wall in circular wrapped form and realized, “oh, no….” someone had withdrawn all the funds from the bank. As nicely as I can put it, I was in need of toilet paper and it was all gone.

I left my cell phone in the truck. I didn’t want to be distracted in my favorite store by some annoying phone call. I had also left my signal flares at home, along with my walkie talkies and my rescue dog. I was trapped in here. I had no food and only a limited amount of oxygen.

My first thought was one that MacGyver might have had, “I have a pocket knife, some chewing gum and a receipt from my coffee this morning… Think Kevin, think….” Nothing came to mind, so I scanned the room for other paper products.

With the whole “sanitary facility” idea in mind, my favorite music store had installed those silly, worthless hand air dryers on the wall instead of those handy paper towel machines, so my odds were not good at finding anything to help me out of my dilemma. And to think, I had really practiced that “crab walk” routine in gym class when I was younger. This was the perfect situation and I couldn’t even use the skills I had been taught in grade school.

I looked back at the toilet paper machine thing. It was one of those multi-roll containers, but everything appeared empty. I suddenly became a toilet paper conservationist. I managed to peel off about a 4 x 4" piece of paper from the bottom roll and began folding it into tiny squares. If anyone could have seen me, I could have been mistaken for one of those guys who fold paper into tiny decorative swans, but I was not folding for anyone’s amusement. I knew nothing about origami. This was a fight for my very life. Well, no, it wasn’t, but it felt like it was.

The first tiny piece went quickly. As you well know, most stores don’t put “Bounty, the quicker picker upper” in their dispensers. They put that thin, see-through excuse for toilet paper that costs like 20 cents a roll.

I was down to cardboard and had no choice but to stick my hand further up into the machine, contorting my arm to feel for more product.

Ah, ha!

I gently pulled out another 5-6" off of a roll further up in the ferris wheel of sanitary product. Some people are just simply wasteful.  Another feel up the machine would net me similar results from other “empty” rolls.

Moments later, I had retrieved enough paper to get the job done and I was free from the clutches of the toilet-paperless bathroom at my now, slightly-less-than-most-favorite-store in the world.

I checked out of the store with my spoils (I’ll call them Self Inflected Birthday Gifts), too embarrassed to tell them the stock boy should be fired, and went to find my wife.

I was quiet on my way to lunch. I reflected on my near-death experience. Oh, that’s another story. This wasn’t a near-death experience. I am sorry. It was just traumatic.

I learned that I have to be careful not to be distracted by shiny objects in music stores and always look around the bathroom before doing my business....... or carry around my own toilet paper from now on.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS - From October 3, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

Today, Monday, October 3rd, 2005, my oldest child and only daughter turns 16-years-old. It is somewhat of a benchmark year for her, making her a legal driver, being half-way through her teen years, officially becoming smarter than her parents - you get the idea.

But oh, what a beautiful woman she is becoming. I am so very proud of her, whether she thinks so or not.

I found this really funny article on teenagers and decided it would be my little tribute to her (one more thing I do to embarass her) for her birthday.

If you have a teenage daughter, you can totally appreciate this....

Teenage Daughter Owner’s Manual

Congratulations! You are now the proud new owner of a teenaged daughter.

Please read this manual carefully, as it describes the maintenance of your new daughter and answers important questions about your warranty (which does NOT include the right to return the product to the factory for a full refund.)

IF YOU FEEL YOU HAVE RECEIVED YOUR TEENAGER IN ERROR

To determine whether you were supposed to receive a teenaged girl, please examine your new daughter carefully.

Does she:

a) Look very similar to your original daughter, only with more makeup and less clothing?

b) Refuse to acknowledge your existence on the planet Earth (except when requesting money)?

c) Sleep in a burrow of dirty laundry?

If any of these are true, you have received the correct item. Nice try, though.

BREAK-IN PERIOD

When you first receive your teenaged daughter, you will initially experience a high level of discomfort. Gradually, this discomfort will subside, and you will merely feel traumatized. This is the "Break-in Period," during which you are becoming accustomed to certain behaviors that will cause you concern, anxiety, and stress. Once you have adapted to these behaviors, your teenager will start acting even worse.

ACTIVATION

To activate your teenaged daughter, simply place her in the vicinity of a telephone or Instant Messenger. No further programming is required.

SHUTDOWN

Several hours after activation, you may desire to shut down your teenaged daughter. There is no way to do this.

CLEANING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER

Having a teenaged daughter means learning the difference between the words "clean" and "neat." Teenaged daughters are very clean, because they take frequent showers that last more than an hour. They will scrub themselves with expensive, fragrant soaps that you must purchase for them because like I'm sure I'm going to use like the same kind of soap my mom and dad use. When they have completely drained the hot-water tank, they will step out and wrap themselves in every towel in the bathroom, which they will subsequently strew throughout the house. If you ask them to pick up the towels, you are confusing "clean" with "neat." Teenagers are very busy and do not have time to be neat. They expect others to pick up after them. These others are called "parents."

FEEDING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER

Your teenaged daughter requires regular meals, which must be purchased for her at restaurants because she detests everything you eat because it is like so disgusting. She does not want you to accompany her to these restaurants, because some people might see you and like I'm sure I want my friends to see me eating dinner with my parents. Either order take-out food or just give her the money, preferably both. If you order pizza, never answer the doorbell because the delivery boy might see you and ohmigod he is so hot. Yes, your daughter's idea of an attractive man is the pizza boy.

CLOTHING YOUR TEENAGED DAUGHTER

Retailers make millions of dollars a year selling stylish and frankly sensible clothing that will look adorable on your daughter. If you enjoy shopping, you will love the vast selections that are available to you. Unfortunately, your teenaged daughter wants to dress like a lap dancer. You may be able to coerce her into putting on a cute outfit before leaving the house, but by the time she walks in the schoolhouse door, she will be wearing something entirely different.

OTHER MAINTENANCE

Teenaged daughters require one of two levels of maintenance: "High," and "Ultra High." Your daughter is "Ultra High." This means that whatever you do won't be enough and whatever you try won't work.

WARRANTY

This product is not without defect because she has your genes, for heaven's sake. If you think this is not fair, talk to your parents, who think it is hilarious. Your teenaged daughter will remain a teenager for as long as it takes for her to become a woman, which in her opinion has already happened and as far as you are concerned never really will. If you are dissatisfied with your teenaged daughter, well, what did you expect? In any event, your warranty does not give you your little girl back under any circumstances, except that deep down she's actually still there - you just have to look for her.

Breeann was her given name, but she now goes by things like Bree, Breezy or BreeAnn. She’s my first baby, my only girl, my pride and joy. I love you sissy - Happy Birthday! - Dad

KWIBS - From August 26, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

Believe it or not, I’m actually old enough to remember when gasoline was under a buck a gallon. Those were the days when you didn’t have to sell a kidney to go cruising the square. $15 would nearly fill my gas tank and buy me a soda.

Those days seem like they’re long gone now with prices at the pumps reaching near the $3.00 a gallon mark. It just seems like last summer that gas was under two bucks a gallon. Oh wait, gasoline was under two bucks a gallon last summer.

Nobody is talking much about the fact that gasoline is so expensive and there doesn’t seem to be anything that can be done about it, unless you buy into the hype of one day gas protests and pump boycotts that circulate on the internet, which by the way, don’t harm the oil companies one bit. Eventually, you have to purchase fuel and it doesn’t really matter when you buy it. "Going slow at the pump" is only going to tick off the guy behind you that is wanting to fuel up his racecar or dune buggies for a weekend of entertainment.

This hike in fuel costs couldn’t come at a worse time. My daughter just recently got her license to kill, I meant drive. And she’s always on a mission to nowhere by the longest road possible with nothing to do, but has to get there in one of our gas-guzzling vehicles right now!

Conversations go something like this:

Breeann: "Dad, I need your truck to go to town to (insert friend’s name here)."

Me: "Why. It’s like 10 p.m.?"

Breeann: "Because she needs this pencil."

Me: "Just bring it to her in the morning."

Breeann: "Dad, this is her favorite pencil and Medicine Lodge is all out of pencils and she has to have this one right now!"

Ok, that wasn’t a real scenario, but similar to recent events in our household.

We have become a carpool family overnight. I don’t know why it took us so long to figure it out, but Ronda and I don’t have to take two vehicles to town everyday. We both work at the same place! It is more convenient to each have our own transportation, but not necessary.

Now that Breeann is driving, it became instantly obvious that something was going to have to give. As it turns out, it is me…… giving her money to put gas in the vehicle!

It’s not all bad though. Since gas is so high, I have refused to mow my grass. It’s just too expensive to waste gas on keeping up on my yard! My wife disagrees and I don’t really think I am going to get away with that, but it was worth a shot.

Never before have I paid so much attention to detail of my vehicles. I check my tire pressure like every 10 minutes. One pound of air off could kill my gas mileage. I use gas additives that promise increase performance and fuel consumption. I look for ways to conserve my gas. I have even considered removing non-essential pieces of my truck, like the backseat, tailgate, bedsides and doors, to lighten up my load.

I dread when my "low fuel" light comes on in my truck. It might as well say, "wow, that went quick" or "which one of your kids doesn’t need a college education?"

The "low fuel" light is now a subject of my nightmares. The yellow light with a picture of a gas pump on it haunts me in my sleep. I actually had a dream where my truck’s gas tank had a tiny hole in it and I was leaving a trail of gasoline wherever I went and some guy was putting a cup under my truck and stealing my gas at night.

I got up the next morning after the dream and checked my truck. There wasn’t a hole.

You probably do this too, but when I go to the pump I am so careful not to spill any remaining gas that the last customer might have left in the nozzle. I carefully place it in my truck like it is a prize left behind by some wasteful idiot. It’s a find that will surely give me just enough gas to get me two inches further away from the pump, absolutely free! Two inches every time I fill up adds up. If I fill up 36 times a year that’s 72" further I get on somebody else’s dime!

Hope your week is a gas, gas, gas.....

KWIBS - From August 8, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

Last week I had the good misfortune of having a mechanical problem on I-35 just north of Oklahoma City. I was on my way to see my friend Dale McCurdy who was home on leave for two weeks from Afghanistan.

"Good Misfortune"…. That’s a funny phrase isn’t it? I’m sure I am not the first to use it or say it, but it was true. I started the day off great. I was ahead of schedule by several hours. The paper was going great. Nothing was standing in my way to leave early and get to my friends’ house by dinner time. I was fully loaded – Three kids, check; one wife, check; cooler full of pop, check; snacks, check; jetski trailer and two SeaDoos, check.

I stopped in Blackwell and did a trailer check. Everything was perfect. All straps were tight, the covers were tight and the tires were up.

We tooled along the interstate when suddenly…. Here it comes…. We got hungry! So, we decided Cracker Barrel sounded good and we exited.

I asked Ronda, "Did you feel that?"

The trailer shifted a little and felt funny when I turned the corner. We pulled into the restaurant and I jumped out to do a trailer check. I’m pretty sure I said a naughty word as I looked and saw that I had lost my driver’s side wheel bearings and smoke was rolling off the axle.

"This isn’t good," I proclaimed.

We went inside and I started making calls to wrecker companies. Nobody had a problem with towing my vehicle, but nobody could fix my trailer’s axle. We were stranded. It was hot and my family was losing their senses of humor.

"I want to go home," Breeann said.

That wasn’t happening. I tried to explain to her that the wheel would come off at any moment. I would have had better luck explaining to my dog the theory of relativity.

I was running out of options when I remembered that our Editor, David, was from the OKC area. I gave him a call.

I asked, "Hey Dave, you know anyone out here that can help me?"

He told me that he was the one that usually got the call from friends needing mechanical assistance. None of his friends were of the mechanically inclined.

"Let me make some calls and I’ll get back with you," he said.

I kept making calls on my end and was hitting rock bottom. Even one "Christian Mechanic", as advertised in the book told me he was on vacation and couldn’t help me. It ended abruptly with "click". Hmm… God bless you too sir….

David called me back and said, "My dad’s on his way home from WalMart and will give you a call shortly."

Sure enough, he did and he had tools and was on his way with his grandson, Shane.

They were about an hour away and were a welcome sight when the pulled into the Cracker Barrel Restaurant. We jacked up the trailer (after he arrived with a jack because I forgot the "jack handle") and as I suspected, the wheel came off without the use of tools.

David’s dad, Clarence, had already made some calls and found the necessary parts to fix the trailer, so we left and drove south into "bling-blingville". Maybe it wasn’t "bling-blingville" but everyone I saw there had lots of "bling-bling".

"This is the part you need," said the parts guy. "But you’ll need the washer to hold this together. You’ve got the washer, right?"

I barely had the wheel when I got there, let alone a washer.

"Uh, no," I explained.

"Well, we don’t stock that part," he said.

It’s a washer: A little round, flat piece of metal with a hole in it….. They didn’t stock the washer that holds it all in place.

"I can have one here by Tuesday or you can check at ACE," he said.

Tuesday wasn’t good for me…..

Off we went. We checked at ACE, nope; AutoZone, nope; O’Reilly’s, nope; Lowe’s, nope; some garden shop, nope; in the parking lot of each, nope….. Nobody had a washer that was going to fit. We took a shortcut back to the restuarant that turned out to be not such a shortcut and returned to the trailer, the truck and my very angry family by this time - three and a half hours later.

We were going to have to make due without the washer and I was going to have to do this job over when I could get the trailer somewhere safely.

Unbelievably, the washer was still hanging off the scored and burned axle. I couldn’t have felt any dumber.

We took the rest of the axle apart only to find the guy had sold us the wrong bearings!

One side of my face went numb. I wanted to cry, stomp my feet and throw a hissy-fit, but I contained myself somehow.

Clarence devised a plan and I took Ronda and the kids to a not-so-fancy hotel and he went to get more parts.

He returned shortly with bigger bearings and a file and within minutes, the trailer was fixed.

Earlier in the day, Clarence’s Grandson said, "Hey grandpa, we’re like superheros. We need capes!"

I couldn’t agree more.

Now for my "good misfortune".

I had met David’s dad a couple of times before and first impressions were – nice guy.

I bought Clarence supper and Shane went and swam with my boys at the hotel. Supper was the least I could offer. Clarence drove me all over OKC and had to drive all the way back to Newcastle. He went out of his way – like a superhero, only without the cape and evil villains, invisible jet, hall of justice, etc…

I had the "good misfortune" of having a serious problem that didn’t result in an accident and the "good misfortune" of having a cup of coffee and dinner with some pretty good Fasgold stock. Now I know where David gets it……

The trip went without much more excitement. Seeing my buddy Dale was great and my kids didn’t mind spending time around his pool.

I found a book in Dale’s bathroom titled, "Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff… and it’s all small stuff. - Author Richard Carlson, Ph.D. It sure reminded me of the problem I had on the interstate and Clarence’s kindness.

Clarence made the problem, "small stuff" and was instrumental in helping my family have a wonderful vacation.

Thank you and God Bless you Clarence!

 

KWIBS - from July 25, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

We’re all a little crazy deep down inside. It must be the single qualifying factor for being a newspaper publisher. Something about deadlines drive people crazy. Now multiply that times 52 weeks a year and factor in any special edition you might want to throw at your readers and that equals one crazy publisher.

This goes for editors too. Editors wouldn’t get jobs if it weren’t for crazy publishers who can’t concentrate long enough to write simple things like headlines, their own names and paychecks, let alone an entire news article. Therefore, we as publishers choose our editors wisely. They can’t be any saner than we are or they would make the publisher look bad. Maybe you think David is sane. And yes, he probably does make me look bad at times, but you only know the "sane" David. I know the crazy David.

Small towns are notorious for not-so-sane editors (pre-publisher era 1860-1940). In fact, one such editor was run out of Medicine Lodge in the later part of the 1880s when he published the same exact newspaper twice in a row.

His problem was that he was so well received with the first edition of his paper, he partied with the townsfolk past the deadline of his next issue and upon reasoning with himself, decided his best course of action was to just put out the first edition again. Besides it was so well received right? Well, not quite so the second time and the town decided to teach him a lesson with tar and feathers.

But wait! The small town general store was all out of the ingredients to make a good "running them out on a rail" recipe of tar and feathers and had to resort to another sticky substance made of molasses and stickers.

That seemed to do the trick as I can only vision the poor editor screaming as the cheering crowd set him down outside of town and told him never to come back.

Thank God we live in civilized country where those types of things don’t happen anymore. *Gulp*

There’s also a lot of history of alcoholism with newspaper folk. Several stories throughout journalism history report publishers/editors were found drunk just hours before the paper was to hit the street and the printer’s devils were known to save the day and produce the town’s paper, saving the publisher/editor from certain shame, humiliation and possibly newly dreamed up schemes involving sticky substances and pointy objects. For those of you who don’t know what a "Printer’s Devil" is, look it up sometime.

I’ve been fortunate to grow up in a business where I have been a part of many editors’ and publishers’ lives at different levels of their careers. One such Editor and mentor of sorts, is a man named Dennies Andersen. Pronounced "Dennis", Dennies played an instrumental roll in my upbringing in my early teens as a printer. He would show up with his newspaper pages from Coldwater each Wednesday, somewhere close to the deadline, but never on time. Dennies produced Coldwater’s fine newspaper, "The Western Star".

Picture if you can a tall fuzzy, frizzy-haired man wearing a one piece jumper suit with pinstripes and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth that when he finished it, another one would magically appear in its place and relight itself.

Dennies was full of unwise, useless advice about life, but was always worth a few laughs, even when the paper was done and we were all ready for him to leave at the printing plant.

I remember one April 1st edition of The Western Star, Dennies asked me to print his newspaper entirely upside down and backwards so that his patrons would be confused reading it – his April Fool’s joke to the town. I had to check with my dad to make sure I wouldn’t get into trouble doing that and to my surprise, he said, "Do what the customer wants done." So I did. This solidified my belief that all publishers and editors were slightly off of their rockers.

Years later our newspaper sold to a large chain and my dad retired from the business. My dad, who was seeking to regain some of his sanity, was ready to retire, but not ready for me to take over the reins of my grandfather’s newspaper. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the new owners didn’t care about the newspaper itself, but wanted the money generated from our printing plant where we printed newspapers like the Western Star and the Protection Press, another fine publisher story of Bob Greer should be forthcoming, but will have to wait due to space. This is Dennies’ story. He and many others didn’t stick around to be the new customers of the printing plant that moved out of Medicine Lodge and into Pratt, KS.

The business of printing left Medicine Lodge shortly after the sale of the paper. Shortly after, I quit the newspaper I had worked since early childhood. Now I had my hands deep in ink and in July of 1991 I had a new family and no ideas.

This Dennies Andersen of Coldwater said to me, "Start your own paper Needle!" Needle was one of many nicknames I had been given by Dennies. Another one was "Reggie".

I didn’t have a clue how to start my own paper. I was a print shop guy. Bring me the camera-ready pages and I’ll make you a newspaper in a couple of hours and send you on your way. I could run a line camera, develop negatives, burn plates and slap them on a press, get ink adjusted and put out a nice looking edition with as little waste as possible. That was the extent of my knowledge of the newspaper business. That and having Rosie Shoemaker chase me around the office with a pica pole. (You should look that one up too or stop by. I’ll show you what one is.) I had very little knowledge of what happened outside of the print shop.

Dennies persisted and before long I was hooked up with equipment, local financing and a plan for a hometown newspaper that has spawned over 750 issues since its debut in 1991. As of last week, I was still calling him for advice.

Like I said, as of last week….. Then something changed. Dennies apparently changed. After several decades of being the editor and publisher of the newspaper in Coldwater, KS, Dennies put his keys on the counter and walked off into the sunset with about $3.00 in his pocket and an unfinished newspaper on the layout tables.

The paper made it out without him, but it wasn’t the same paper without him at the reins and the town started buzzing about rumors of his disappearance. I got a call as a possible contact for Dennies, but I too had no idea where to find him.

With some tips from a Western Star staff member and after an extensive search over the week, he was located in cyber space by my 12 year old son. Dennies was on a popular fantasy gamesite online called Runescape. Joey hooked me and Dennies up and I asked him point blank if he’d lost his mind and gone crazy?

Dennies replied, "I’m pretty sure I could pass any loony test anyone threw at me."

That could mean he’s either sure he’s loony or he’s sure he isn’t, but that was a good enough answer for me. He was alright.

He also said, "You’re accusing me of being insane? You still collect Star Wars action figures!"

I corrected him. It’s Star Trek… not Star Wars, but that’s irrelevant.

Dennies like many publishers from the past was so much a part of his paper, he couldn’t separate himself from it and it got him in the end. Dennies is leaving the town and the county’s largest newspaper and he’s probably not coming back.

Where am I going with this column? I don’t really know. Just wanted to share a story about another crazy publisher in the area. And Dennies wouldn’t mind me sharing it.

I sat around last weekend remembering some of Dennies’s advice. I really can’t think of anything he told me that would be helpful, but at least I laughed.

I sort of feel like Luke Skywalker without Obi-Wan Kenobi teaching him the powers of the force. Just like Luke, I never listened or took much advice or paid attention to my training. I was ready to go off on my own. I am pretty sure I know enough to battle the evil forces of the dark side of the newspaper business: big newspaper chains that only want a town’s money and give them nothing more than a scaled down version of what the paper had for the town in its glory days. The light side was simple to me. Dennies taught me to enjoy the newspaper business, be thick skinned at times and never, never appear sane.

For the community’s sake, his sake, and The Western Star, I hope he finds an ounce of sanity and returns to Coldwater to churn out the news of Comanche County. Best of luck to The Western Star.

Good luck to you "Bearded Sage" wherever you are. (he's back now.... :-)

 

KWIBS - From July 18, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

We all ask questions. It’s how we communicate. We all love to hear the cute little expressions our kids come up with as their language skills blossom, but sometimes their insistent questioning seems a bit like the drip, drip, drip of an ancient water torture device.

All of my children ask "Why"? There are different degrees to asking "Why?" and each of these degrees is based on their age. My 15-year-old daughter’s "Why?" is much different than my 7-year-old son’s "Why?".

Example #1: Breeann might ask, "Why can’t I take the car to town and see my friends?"

I would answer, "Because you aren’t legal to drive by yourself"

To which she would respond, "But all my friends do it."

Come to find out, not all her friends do it - one might, and this constitutes "all" in her mind.

This conversation is over despite the whining and door slamming.

Example #2: Nicholas will ask, "Hey Dad, hey Dad, hey Dad…. Why do you shave?"

To which I would respond, "Because mommy likes me clean shaven."

This question has to be answered promptly or it is followed by more, "Hey Dad, hey Dad, hey Dad….."

For someone older, this would seem like a legitimate answer and end to a question, but not so for Nicholas. This answer, or any answer as a matter of fact, only opens the doors to more interrogation by the little master-mind. "Why does mommy like you clean shaven?"

There is the trap. You’ve answered once already. You should be able to quit right? Wrong.

"Because," I always answer.

"Because," is my ending answer, but it never seems to work.

Still not good enough.

Nicholas will ask, "Because why?"

And then for some unknown reasoning, possibly an involuntary parental reflex, I will answer yet another question, "Because she likes my face when there’s no hair on it."

This is where I am confident I have answered the question in detail and left no loopholes, but I lose again. It’s right here that I am hit with a barrage of questions.

"How do you shave? When did you start shaving? Does it hurt when you shave? How long does it take to shave? Hey Dad, can I watch you shave? What time will you shave? Will I shave when I grow up?"

AAAAHHHRGGGG! This is when I break and must only give name, rank and serial number. Remember though that your seven-year-old may not recognize the Geneva Convention rules for interrogation. In fact, don’t even mention that or you’re bound to get, "What’s the Geneva Convention? Why do I have to follow it? Where’s the convention at? What’s a convention?"

Last week Ronda and I were gone for a couple of days. It was a nice break from all of the questioning, but my little boy’s mind was working overtime and I swear he had a tablet with hundreds of questions written down and memorized for my return.

"Hey dad, where did you guys go?"

I answered, (first mistake), "River rafting buddy."

"What’s that?" he was trapping me.

"It’s where you get into a raft and float down a river," I said, figuring this was the end of it.

"What color was your raft?" he asked.

This was followed by, "What did you bring me?" Which opens up a whole new series of questions and answers.

"NOOOOOO! Stop!!", I said, running from the room with my hands cupped over my ears.

Sometimes I use others to divert his attention.

"Look Nick! There’s David!"

He’ll then forget what he asked me and run to David’s office to ask him questions.

"Hey David, hey David, hey David. What are you doing?"

David’s nice. He’ll answer a lot of questions before going and locking himself in the bathroom to cry.

The other day I was leaving for Pratt in the morning and Ronda said, "Hey, you should take Nicholas with you."

That’s like saying, "Hey bring these fingernails and drag them down this chalkboard for a couple of hours will you?"

No, I’m kidding, he’s a great kid. I was able to zone him out a little bit. He picked up some magazine and pretended to be interested in it.

"Hey Dad, hey Dad… Why do you have these magazines in your car?"

Uh oh, I was thinking. How was I going to get out of this?

It was only thirty minutes, but it seemed much, much longer. By the time we got to Pratt, I was twitching a little bit.

As I was standing at the register of a business in Pratt writing my check I could hear Nicholas bringing out the full arsenal and asking the owner, "Is this your store? What do you do? Why do you have so many cats in here? Did you know I have cats?"

The owner’s eyes glazed over as I paid my bill. We left the store and I put Nicholas in the car.

"Can we go to McDonald’s", he asked?

You never say no in a situation where McDonald’s is brought up by a seven-year-old.

I pulled up at the drive through and he yelled in the speaker, "Do you have happy meals? What’s the prize inside? Can I have ketchup? I like Sprite. Do you have Sprite?"

I got his food and drove as fast for home as I could. He knows it’s not polite to talk with his mouth full.

"Why is it not polite to talk with your mouth full," I fully expected him to ask, but he fell asleep. Have a great week.

 

KWIBS  - June 6, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

I’m going to preach at you a little bit this week. It won’t be a religious theme this time, but it will be on something that could save your life.

Last week our little community at Lake Arrowhead was saddened to learn that one of our own had been killed in an auto accident on the edge of Ford County.

There will be a memorial service for Mike at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesday, June 7, 2005, at the First Christian Church.

If you knew Mike, you knew that he was a fun-loving, life-living guy. I never saw that guy frown. He always seemed happy and our hearts go out to his mom and dad. I know, like many others out at the lake, I’ll miss seeing that crazy "Huckleberry Finn" raft he’d float around on with the tree in the middle.

As I understand Mike Davis and his girlfriend were driving to Colorado after the holiday weekend and their lives were cut short when their vehicle hydroplaned and struck an oncoming semi.

Sadly, neither were wearing seat belts and in this case, it may not have saved their lives, but we’ll never know. This has been an ongoing theme for my family. They are probably sick of me telling them to put on their seat belts.

Several years ago, we lost a family member in a one car accident by Wellington. He wasn’t wearing his seat belt either and he left behind a pregnant wife, three children and family that will never be the same. In this case, his death probably could have been prevented if he would have been wearing a seat belt.

Accidents happen and sometimes it’s no one’s fault. In most of the accidents that result in a fatality, the drivers were not wearing their seat belts.

Here’s some interesting statistics from the department of transportation...

More people under 60 now die from injuries sustained in car crashes than from any other cause.

Isn’t it funny that we’ll take medicine to protect against heart disease or exercise for better health and longer life, but many are still unwilling to put on a lifesaving device like a seat belt?

Kansans are among the least likely in the nation to wear seat belts. Only 64 percent of adults buckle up, according to a KDOT survey conducted last summer. That terrible performance earned Kansas a ranking of 46th in terms of seat belt use – only Arizona, Mississippi, Massachusetts and New Hampshire have lower compliance rates. The national rate is 79 percent, and in several states the compliance rate exceeds 90 percent.

Sadly, it appears too many of Kansas’ young people are taking a cue from adults and neglecting their seat belts. A survey of seat belt habits among young people conducted over the past two springs revealed only 55 percent of those under 18 buckle up. The lowest compliance rate was among children ages 10-14; only 44 percent were buckled up. Children ages 5-9 also had a low seat belt usage rate – 45 percent. Children up to age 4 were much more likely to be in compliance with the Kansas child passenger safety belt law, with 79 percent in child car seats.

An advertising and education campaign recently ended today, June 6; the "Click it or Ticket" campaign. I hope it continues.

Don’t expect a break from law enforcement if you or your passengers are found to be unbelted during a traffic stop. Police have enthusiastically joined this effort to save lives and minimize preventable injuries. Their mission isn’t to punish; it’s to educate.

Law enforcement officials know their aggressive writing of tickets for seat belt violations won’t win them any popularity contests among drivers. But, as they say in radio and television ads that are blanketing the state: "We’d rather have you angry than dead."

Kansas Highway Patrol Second Lieutenant John Eichkorn says changing Kansas’ seat belt law for adults from secondary enforcement status to primary enforcement status could make a difference. The secondary status means a person must be cited for another traffic violation such as speeding before being ticketed for not wearing a seat belt.

"There is nothing worse in this job than going to a house, knocking on the door and trying to explain why a loved one has been killed in a car crash," said Eichkorn.

I’m speaking to all reading, but particularly, I want my kids and their friends to know how important they are to us and that we love them. Buckle up.

Have a great week.

From May 23, 2005

Another school year is nearly behind us. I can only imagine what your calendar looks like if you have children. You’ve got music programs, art shows, graduations, fiestas .....etc.

I have to admit, I always dread going to my kids’ music programs. It’s a mind set. More than anything, I hate to be confined to a metal chair for more than about thirty minutes.

Once the program starts, I have a new attitude as I see and hear how awesome our kids are. I’m not just talking about mine.

Last week I attended the music program at the Middle School. The program started with the 5th grade band. My preconceived notion was that they would be terrible and I would politely applaud at the end. Boy, was I surprised when I heard them! They were on the opposite end of terrible. In fact, I wondered if they were even 5th graders at all! It was one of the most incredible things I had ever heard and it made me sit up in my chair and enjoy the rest of the program!

I remember being in middle school and I remember the music program well. I hated it. I hated band and I hated vocal music, but with a little encouragement from my teacher, family and friends (and the fact that vocal was not an elective), I stayed in there.

I even stayed in chorus and band through high school. I ended up on some neat drum ensembles and eventually ended up singing and dancing in show choir. By my senior year, I was in a rock band playing a new instrument and truly finding my love for music.

Where am I going with this? Well, on the way home from the music program my middle son, Joey, was grumbling about how he hated music. Against my wishes, he quit band last year as a 5th grader and if vocal music were a choice, he would have quit that too. He said he was quitting music as soon as he could.

When I told Joey he couldn’t quit music, he became angry at me. I told him, no music, no sports. That got his attention, although it just made him angrier at me. I’m not trying to force my kid to do something he doesn’t like. If that were the case, I would let him quit math and English. He dislikes those too. I simply believe that there is something to learn from music.

Could the arts like music be a dying thing in our schools? This question was raised at the music program by Gloria Morford. Some schools, when faced with cutting programs, consider cutting music.

Don’t worry, I don’t believe our music programs in Medicine Lodge are facing the ax. In fact, they will be going through some changes. Hopefully - good changes. I hope to see the music departments continue to prosper as they have over the past several years. Interestingly, the state will now require all entering Freshmen to take one hour of fine arts starting next school year. Music is a fine art.

To love something like music so much to decide to become an instructor of it, is just awesome and admirable. It’s terribly sad to have to teach something that is less and less appreciated. I personally know people who were instructors of music, who quit from burnout. Imagine you had a job that required you to teach something that most of the kids didn’t want to learn.

You don’t have to go very far to see that music is taking a back seat to many other things in our society. Just turn on the radio and listen to the crap. I can only tolerate about one song out of every five played. I know, I sound like your parents, who just don’t get the music teens listen to today. Well, you’re partly right. There’s some that I can’t believe is even classified as music. I do love music - all kinds. The only thing I can’t listen to is rap and angry music. I can appreciate Bach and Beehtoven as well as Metallica and Tool. Ask my wife. She just doesn’t get it.

I’m hoping one day when Joey’s not mad at me anymore, that he’ll look back and see some good in being involved in music. Right now music seems less important when compared with XBox, TV, computer games and sports.

Even though I was probably a total headache to them, I look back with appreciation for what my music teachers contributed to my life and to the community.

Have a great week!

KWIBS  - from May 16, 2005

My kids are always cracking me up. Sometimes they say things in a totally serious fashion and it just turns out funny. Other times, they’re just being funny.

Last Tuesday was "Parents’ Day" at the Medicine Lodge Grade School. This is a day where moms and dads can come and eat with their children, grades 1st through 5th.

Our youngest son, Nicholas, is a first grader this year and was totally thrilled to see me and his mother standing in line for lunch waiting for him. He gave us instruction on what to do in the lunch line, we grabbed our trays and sat down for lunch. It was kind of awkward . I felt like a giant sitting at the tiny lunch table with my tiny glass of iced tea and my tray full of beef tips and mashed potatoes. Don’t get me wrong, it was a very good lunch, I could have eaten everyone’s tray at the table though.

I was making conversation with some teachers and then Ronda reminded me that I was there for Nicholas and I should talk to him so I said, "Hey Nick, how’s school today?"

He fired off, "Just fine dad."

Ah, small talk with small people......

"What have you done today," I asked?"

He responded with: "School work dad."

This wasn’t going well. I was running out of things to talk about. I mean, I could have told him about all the stuff I had done at the newspaper that day, but I didn’t want him to go to sleep and drown in his mashed potatoes, so I asked, "How many classes do you have left?"

With a frustrated glare he put down his fork and counted on his fingers and answered, "Second, third, fourth and fifth grade, DAD!"

? ? ? ?

Breeann is gearing up for her Sophomore year. I’m hoping she’ll include some home economics in her course studies.

For some reason, Ronda thought it would be both fun and educational to begin teaching our daughter how to cook. I went along. It was bound to be fun. I thought it would be a nice break for us too since Ronda and I share in that responsibility. On that particular evening, Breeann would be cooking the noodles she picked out from the grocery store and making the salad, which consisted of opening the sack of premade salad….

"What do I do," she asked?

"Read the directions," her mother and I said in unison.

She read outloud, "In a medium saucepan…. Wait, what’s a saucepan?"

Ronda pointed to the pot already on the stove and I just rolled my eyes.

She continued, "Bring 4 cups of water, 1 cup of milk and 1 tablespoon of butter to a boil. Stir in package contents." Frustrated now she yelled, "Where am I supposed to get all that stuff?"

Without missing a beat, Ronda pointed to the faucet and said, "Well, water is right here!"

We both nearly hit the floor laughing. How did we ever make it as parents?

? ? ? ?

An ad was FAX’ed to our office last week. I can’t image the feeling this ole’ cowboy had when he realized he’d placed the following ad with our paper:

"Come visit the Caldwell Cowboy Church. Short sermons, and lots of GREAT Christian Country-Western Music. Not your normal Sunday go to meeting service. Come as you are - Don’t get dressed on our account. Services held at the Caldwell Sales Barn 1 mile East of Caldwell, KS on 81 Highway 1st and 3rd Monday evenings at 7 p.m."

Now there’s an interesting church!

A new FAX came right after it!

What should have read was.....

"Come visit the Caldwell Cowboy Church. Short sermons, and lots of GREAT Christian Country-Western Music. Not your normal Sunday go to meeting service. Come as you are - Don’t get all dressed up on our account. Services held at the Caldwell Sales Barn 1 mile East of Caldwell, KS on 81 Highway 1st and 3rd Monday evenings at 7 p.m." Have a great week!

 

KWIBS  - From May 9, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

It all started Friday, April 29th.... It was a very busy day and weekend, as many of you remember. Martina came to town for the KaBOOM! playground build and the Greater Barber County Historical Action Association held their dedication of their new building.

Those two things were going to make the weekend a very busy, fun one, but both David and I would not be a part of it because of a previous engagement in Wichita. In fact, it was so previous that it was on the calendar last October, 2004. When we found out the build date and dedication date, we panicked because we didn’t know how things would be covered over the weekend with both of us being absent.

Little did we know, a big-hearted, hard working member of our community would come to our rescue. Deb Kolb saved the day when she graciously volunteered her time to the paper to take photos and write the story on the KaBOOM! playground activities. This, on top of her already busy volunteering for the project itself, helped us out tremendously!! We can’t thank you enough, Deb, for all the fantastic pictures and great story.

One out-of-towner had this to say in an email to me last week:

I just wanted to say-- Outstanding article by Deb Kolb regarding the playground build! Humble Deb didn't take much credit, but I hear she, too, was an integral part of the planning and organization of Build Day.

As an out-of-towner coming in to help, I must say the day was as organized as could be for a project of that size--from breakfast to clean-up, Amy and Deb had it covered!

Kudos to Medicine Lodge for making this a true community project. Your small town spirit is to be envied.

Paula Willford

While thanking, I have to mention Martina. She was, after all, the entire reason everything happened. What a great person you are! When we pulled back into town late Saturday, we pulled into the park to see the awesome donation of the new playground, I got goosebumps.

Already, I am hearing from my nephews about how great the playground is and my youngest son (who’s been sick all week) can’t wait to go to the park and play!

Martina also helped raise close to $30k dollars for the county’s new Heritage Center! Her acts of kindness have energized the group as well as the community. Her donations will be enjoyed by many generations to come!

Medicine Lodge is so proud and so grateful to you, Martina, for all you have done for us. Thanks for remembering us with the kind gifts and donation of your time and energy. We appreciate you and are proud of your career, family and many accomplishments.

? ? ? ?

Our community made a big impression on a lot of people last weekend. I guess you could say we were on our best behavior. John Nixon relayed this act of kindness to an out-of-towner during the weekend:

.......I also have to tell you, we were 20 miles from Medicine Lodge one hour before the concert started and we had a blow-out in my SUV. Jacks are totally foreign to me and we were sure we would miss the concert. Michael Stull, the AG teacher at Medicine Lodge stopped and changed the flat, then followed us to the next town and aired up my tire !! He was a true angel. Big cities have nothing on the values and people in small towns!! Thanks again John and we will definitely call when we are in your area again! - Murray Anderson, 8 Circle Drive, Newton, KS 67114

? ? ? ?

I should have just stayed in bed all week..... After the paper came out, it was brought to our attention that the traffic report was wrong. Really wrong.... Correction and apology: Due to a human (me) /computer glitch, last week’s traffic report (week 45) was overwritten by week 5 of last year’s Gyp Hill Premiere (July of 2004). I am terribly embarrassed and sincerely apologize for the error and have corrected it for this week’s edition.

Have a great week!

From May 2, 2005

Last week I learned how little I actually knew about prom.

It was Breeann’s first prom and my wife couldn’t wait.

Even though I had 4 years experience with proms and dates at all of them (including multiple dates my freshman year), I still knew nothing about prom. At least from a male perspective.

As I’ve learned, from looking at my credit card statement, prom is big business and when you have the gentler of the two chromosomes in your home, it becomes an even more expensive and emotionally draining venture.

Dress shopping was something I avoided like the plague by being conveniently busy. Yes, I got out of it and it was to my daughter’s advantage as well as my advantage. Me being forced to go shopping with Breeann for evening attire is just as cruel as the time I took her to a tool sale where I spent over an hour shopping for locking pliers.

Anyway, stage one of prom was complete. Ronda and Breeann had gone to Wichita and found a prom dress.

Prom dress $150

Lunch $30

Fuel $40

Years drained from my wife’s life - 3

The dress came home in a pretty expensive looking garment bag and a hanger that looked like it cost more than my old ratty jean jacket that gets thrown over a doorknob. And to think, I wear that jacket almost every day and she’ll only wear that dress once! I was totally going to score on that hanger….

Don’t get in a hurry, fathers with little girls, this is in no way where the wallet closes for prom. Start saving now or begin selling blood plasma while they’re still young (clarification: your blood, not their blood….)

For girls, prom means it’s time to tan. I like a good tan and appreciate having dark skin, but news flash: It’s dark where they have prom! Not only will her date barely see the expensive dress I bought her, he won’t notice the tan unless he carries a densitometer. Tanning begins, at the very least, a month before prom.

Tanning sessions $45

Somewhere in prom history it became necessary for woman to have their real fingernails filed and buffed down to a dull finish and fake, long, synthetic ones glued on over the top. This may be some type of self defense weapon used to ward off other females that ask to dance with their date. I’m not sure, but open up the wallet guys….

Fingernails $20

Polish $5

Prom day finally arrives, but the giant prom money sucking machine is still turned on.

Within five minutes of saying the word "prom" every hair dresser in a 50 mile radius becomes booked up. By mistake, our family waited until 3 weeks before prom to make an appointment locally. With no options for local hair styling left, it meant another trip back to Wichita.

Hairdresser $25

Hair accessories $10

Lunch $30

Fuel $40

Prozac for my wife’s life – $100

Sorry guys, even though your cash is depleted and your last credit card burst into flames when it was swiped, you are not finished.

Make up $15

Picture package $35

Prom night tickets run about $10 (if you’re lucky, her date will pay!)

Prom guys don’t get off too easily either. A good tux will cost you at least $100 to rent. You also have to take your date somewhere nice to eat and you’ll be expected to buy her flowers.

Grand total (rounded for clarification) of prom 2005 was around $450.

Seeing how beautiful my daughter looked as she emerged from the bathroom to meet her date was simply priceless. And to think. I only have to do that 3 more times at the very least before I have to think of which kidney to sell when she decides to get married.

Check out the prom photos on page 11 of this week’s Premiere. Have a great week!

 

KWIBS  - From March 14, 2005 - By Kevin Noland

Sometime in our early childhood we begin to take the form of who we are to become as adults. I’m not sure when that is exactly, but I do know that we bring many of the attributes of our childhood with us into adulthood.

I’m talking about things like, what we like and dislike to eat and feeding what we dislike to the dog under the table, or when we drink directly out of the milk jug and put it back in the fridge empty and that we all still occasionally put our fingers in our noses when we think no one is looking. The last one usually happens to me when I am driving and I pass someone I know.

These things can be annoying, but often times humorous to those who witness the behavior of others as they are acting "badly". When we see a kid doing it, it’s annoying and it usually results in reprimand because we don’t want them forming these habits and taking them with them to adulthood. When we see an adult doing it, it’s humorous. We point, stare or laugh because we can’t believe they are acting like children.

Here’s an example. I find my 12 year old son, Joey, in the basement with a bag of chips, hiding them under a blanket just minutes before supper. This results in reprimand. This isn’t a behavior or a habit I wish for him to continue. First off, it isn’t healthy. Secondly, it will spoil his dinner. Thirdly, he is making a mess for someone else to clean up – could be me, but more likely, his mother.

I can see him in 20 years if this behavior keeps up. He’s in his office, hiding under his desk with all of the corporate ledgers that proves he’s been padding the books to support his popsicle habit. The feds take him into custody and put him in prison where he’s forced to eat healthy food.

Here’s another example, but with an adult added. You finish dinner and realize your wife left the table and gone to the bedroom. You get up to investigate. Upon opening the door to your room, you don’t see your wife but you hear rustling, like a nest being built by large birds or some kind of snack food being opened. You investigate further to find your wife sitting behind the far side of the bed, out of sight, eating something. When the beam of the flashlight hits her you discover it’s your girl scout cookies! Apparently, if you eat them behind your bed and no one is looking, the cookies can’t make you fat.

Finding your wife with your stolen cookies invokes the following from you: First you laugh that your wife is so worried about eating cookies that she is hiding it from you behind the bed. It’s not like I found her back there with a bottle of vodka, just my cookies. Secondly, you become suspicious. What else is she hiding back there? Vodka? Thirdly, you begin to feel anger as you realize she is eating the last box of your favorite Peanut Butter Girl Scout Cookies that you ordered and paid for using money you stole from her purse and hid from her in the first place! Besides that, doesn’t she realize that it takes the Girl Scouts weeks to make those peanut butter cookies from the time they take my order?

That’s right. The dirty little secret is out. Ronda has been hiding behind our bed and eating my Girl Scout Cookies, possibly other things too, but I can’t be for sure yet. I wasn’t sure what to think of this.

"What are you doing down there," I asked?

"I’m weeting ur irl shout ookies," she said shyly with a mouth full of my cookies.

I expected that kind of behavior from Joey, but not of my wife of almost 17 years.

"Why are you hiding from me back there," I asked?

"Ooo on’t hare’em wishme," she answered!

So I stormed off to find a quiet place to pick my nose and think about how to handle this situation. Several questions began racing through my mind. Why my cookies? Who shot JR? How could I get even with her?

I’ve got it! The next time she’s out of the house, I’m going to fill the tub with her smelly-good soaps, light up all the scented candles in the house and take myself a bubble bath. That will teach her to eat my cookies.

Ah, who was I kidding? I didn’t have it in me. I walked into the kitchen where I found Joey cleaning up a glass of milk that he spilled all down the cabinet doors. He was using his mother’s good dish towel and he had a Popsicle hanging out of his mouth. It was nearly bedtime. Without saying a word to him, I went to the fridge, took the last swig out of the milk jug and put it back in there empty. Have a great week.

KWIBS  - From December 27, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

Have you ever wondered what that handle above the passenger side door in your vehicle is for?

Well I happen to know. The makers of my vehicle knew someday my 15-year-daughter would be learning to drive. It’s like a security blanket for scared daddies. It’s the "instructor’s handle".

It’s something most adults take for granted, but there is a learning curve to driving. When I am in the vehicle with Breeann, I find we’re either going way too fast, way too slow or we’re in the wrong lane of traffic and people are honking at us.

While driving around the square the other night she asked, "Dad, when I turn left onto the four lane, which lane do I need to be in?"

"You need to stay in the far left lane," I told her.

She did.... the one with on-coming traffic in it.

But that’s why all the other cars have horns, brakes and steering wheels and their drivers have middle fingers.

We practiced parking that night too. I told her to pull up and park next to this little green truck. She did so closely I couldn’t get my door open.

For the most part, she (we) are doing pretty well with driving. There’s a few things we (she) needs work on like the bright lights switch. For some reason, there is immense fascination and confusion with this little switch. It’s like she uses it to make her own little dance club on the highway. If you are run off the road going north on Highway 281 some evening around 6-7 p.m. by some crazy bright light flasher, it’s my daughter. I apologize.

In my opinion, the main components to driving are: Common sense and courtesy, the steering wheel, brakes, the gas pedal, turn signals and lights. My daughter also uses: The steering wheel tilt, the electric seats control, the makeup mirror, the stereo and of course, the bright lights switch all at the same time.

Breeann has a car. Her car is a 1992 Pontiac. When I first started driving they promised us flying cars by 1992. Even though her car does not fly, her car is a lot nicer than my first car - a 1966 Ford Ranchero. I could peel up my floor mats for ventilation. The only problem with that was when driving through puddles your shoes would get wet. Breeann’s car, in my opinion, is a really nice car. She told me that for Christmas she wanted a new car. When I asked her why she told me that her car doesn’t have a good stereo in it...... My first car didn’t have a heater or air-conditioning, power steering, brakes, a horn, cruise control or seatbelts, but it did have a groovy 8 track tape player with a cassette tape adapter and one working speaker.

She is currently finishing her driver’s education course, once the instructor is released from the institution where she drove him to. I think they were in the middle of the "Road Rage" chapter when he mysteriously became ill and needed medical attention.

A couple of weeks ago we were trailing a farm truck going home and it was obvious that she was going to overtake the truck. I was measuring the distance between us and the truck by counting, "one thousand one, one thousand two." I was also taking my own pulse for curiosity.

"Can I pass him daddy," she asked?

"Uh....," nothing intelligible came from my mouth.

The next thing I heard, over my heart pounding and pants soiling, was the roaring of my 5.7 liter V8 truck as we hit somewhere around the speed of light. If you’ve ever seen the movie "Space Balls", I think we hit "Plaid or Ludicrous Speed".

Signs and fence posts began to blur by outside my window and I grabbed the instructor’s handle above my door. I saw the face of the farmer as we flew by and he looked scared for me too.

My tires were as close to dirt on the left side of my truck as the tolerance of the heat tiles on the space shuttle and I think nearly as hot. I could hear calculators clicking at State Farm Insurance as they figured my new insurance rates. It would be ok, if I lived through this. I could afford them once the second mortgage on my house was approved or I could sell a kidney on Ebay.

When I looked back, the farm truck we passed had disintegrated into ashes. Poor farmer - he never knew what hit him. He’ll be missed.

Have a safe and happy new year!

KWIBS  - from December 6, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

Oddities. The supernatural. The world of the bizarre and the science fiction. All my life, I have been fascinated by amazing facts. I subscribe to several newsletters via the internet that give me plenty of amazing and bizzare facts. But I just can’t get enough.

And so, with our giant budget at the Premiere, I formed a team of researchers and sent them around the globe, searching for oddities and outlandish trivia. They returned with facts so amazing, so incredible, so fantastic they could hardly be taken seriously, let alone believable!

Which stands to reason, because it turns out most of these "facts" were just BS those guys thought up on the ride home. Just another way to waste my money!

Still, I've got space to fill. So let's look at some other facts, ones that maybe aren't so amazing. Let's enter the world of the credible, but true... the world of Less-Amazing Facts!

It’s a fact: There are well over one dozen bones in the human body. If you were to lay them out end to end, they'd stretch for several feet!

It’s a fact: Jupiter may be the largest planet in the solar system, but it boasts less phones than the tiny town of Sun City, KS!

It’s a fact: The Gyp Hill Premiere has more than 5 "ands" per page. Go ahead, count’em!

It’s a fact: The Aztecs had no word for "Corvette." They also had no word for "Internet", "Cell Phone" or "X-Box".

It’s a fact: It is easier to smile than frown. Smiling uses only 17 facial muscles while frowning takes 42. However, it only takes 24 muscles to smile at someone sarcastically while giving them the finger.

It’s a fact: If you ate a 10-year-old grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary on it that you paid $28,000 for, you would probably still become very ill.

It’s a fact: Ancient rock pictures, recently discovered in a prehistoric cave in France, reveal that as early as 2 million years ago, cavemen were really bad at drawing.

It’s a fact: "Napoleon" is a palindrome for "Noelopan"... a made-up word which has no meaning at all.

It’s a fact: It's common knowledge that kangaroos carry their young in pouches and ants can lift many times their own weight, but few realize that an ant can't lift a kangaroo and kangaroos seldom carry ants in their pouches.

It’s a fact: The Millennium Dome in London, England is the largest enclosed space in the world. If you were to completely fill it with people, then your band must be really good.

It’s a fact: Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb in 1879. Ironically, it was the solution to exactly the same problem he'd been working on!

It’s a fact: When you lose something and then find it, it is always in the last place you look!

It’s a fact: A chameleon can change colors to match its environment yet, come on, you can still see there's a chameleon there.

It’s a fact: The tallest man in recorded history, who lived in a remote village in Kenya, stood well over six feet!

Fact 16: Some cars have over 300 horse power, but none are designed to, in fact, "carry" any horses.

Fact 17: Many have heard of the Great Wall of China, the world's largest man-made object and the only human construction visible from orbit. But fewer have heard of the Okay Wall of China, which is also pretty good.

It’s a fact: The human body consists of more than 75% water. The other 25% is stuff that we actually might need to live.

It’s a fact: There are over two hundred words in the English language. Some of them are very hard to spell.

It’s a fact: The Sun shines on over 99% of the total mass of the solar system and has shone for several billion years. If it were shrunk to the size of a golf ball and placed on the pitcher's mound of Yankee Stadium, it would most likely burn many of the players and fans.

It’s a fact: Eskimos have over 17 words for snow. Yet, they still get sick of talking about it.

Now don’t you feel smarter for reading "KWIBS" this week?

It’s a fact: "KWIBS" is an acronym that stands for absolutely nothing.

Have a great week!

 

KWIBS  - From November 29, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

When you meet new people, you often learn interesting things about them. These things can often shape your life. It’s true. Imagine if you were born on a deserted island and met no one. You wouldn’t really have much of a personality when the ship came to rescue you. You’d probably stand back and heave coconuts at your rescuers.

OK, I got off track a little there.

I met our Editor David Fasgold just one year ago. He came from a land far away called "Oklahoma". I liked this guy when I first met him. He was witty and had a fun personality. You could say we clicked and with a little persuading (begging) he came to work for the Premiere. He met all of the requirements for working here: Sense of humor and I forgot what else.

David brings with him some interesting things that we both share in common like: we’re both musicians and we’re now in a band together on the side. We both like motorcycles and he’s talked me into buying a dirt bike to do some trail riding. We both like humor and we’ve shared some things that make us laugh. I like peanut butter and he likes jelly. The list goes on and on.

One thing David enjoys is asking stupid questions. His favorite person to direct stupid questions to is his wife Tonya. This has been a little game he’s played with her for more than 5 years now. He’ll ask things like, "So, what was your favorite thing we bought at the hardware store today?" or "How long is a piece of string?"

Sounds dumb doesn’t it? But take this to an extreme. You’re shopping with your spouse or a friend and at the end of the day you ask, "What was your favorite thing you got today while shopping?" They might answer something like shoes, but you counter by asking, "What is your favorite thing about those shoes?" They might say the price. You again throw out a questions, "How did you pay for them, cash or credit card?" They might answer, credit card. And that’s when you nail them with, "What’s your favorite credit card?"

This gets really annoying, really fast as you can tell.

David’s wife is sick of this game, but since it is new to me, I’m just beginning to enjoy playing it. We watched a movie at our house last weekend and I asked, "So, what was your favorite part of the movie?" I got a lot of serious answers from everyone but Tonya. She wasn’t amused and knew exactly what I was doing. She decided it was time to go home, but David wanted to play too.

"What was your favorite part about today," he asked? She wanted to leave desperately now. She was getting angry. David wasn’t ready to go. He was negotiating borrowing an XBox game from my 12-year-old son.

Tonya went to the vehicle. It was 11 p.m. on a cold Saturday night and it was about to get colder for David. I yelled out the door. "What is your favorite part about leaving?"

Tonya started the car and began driving slowly towards the end of the driveway. David let out a scream like a little girl would and began chase while Ronda and I stood at the door and watched her pulling away with David running behind her.

I picked up the phone as they were driving away and called their house. I got the answering machine.

After the beep, I asked, "Hey Tonya, What part of driving away and having David chasing after you was your favorite part?"

This game is getting raving reviews. We’ve even tried it on our new drummer after his audition with the band, "Hey Justin, did you like that song we did?" To which he answered, "Yes". And we asked, "What was your favorite part of the song?"

It didn’t take him long and he was hooked.

We even shared this with some locals in town. Jeff Clarke is our scapegoat "Local" as we’ve labeled him and Tuesday he took the time to ask some stupid questions of his own. Jeff is really "cracktractored" if you know what I mean. (please refer to an earlier "Dave’s Waves" or visit www.dorfucracktractor.com. )

Here’s some of Jeff’s questions: "Hey, does water float? ... If you choke a smurf what color does his face turn? How many times does a radio play? What part of incomprehensible don’t you understand? Do moles drag their dead to the surface? What was your favorite part about Hitler’s mustache? This is fun, and such a waste of time.... Of all the people you know, who blinks the loudest? Is the world turning right or left? Isn’t it cool how dogs give you that split second warning before they barf on your carpet?"

That was really cool, Jeff. Thanks for sharing. What was your favorite part about my column?

 

KWIBS  - November 22, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

This may turn out to be more of a public service than a column for my readers.

We are approaching the Thanksgiving holiday, when we pause to give thanks for our blessings by eating pretty much everything not nailed down for an entire day, then staggering off to find a comfortable chair or couch to sleep on during a football game.

It’s a spiritual time, yes, but it can also be a tragic time if an under-cooked turkey gives us salmonella poisoning, which occurs when tiny turkey-dwelling salmon get into our blood, swim upstream and spawn in our brains (this is probably what happened to Michael Moore). That’s why the American Turkey and Giblet Council recommends that to ensure proper preparation, you cook your turkey in a heated oven for at least two full quarters of the football game, then give a piece to your dog and observe it closely for symptoms such as vomiting, death, etc.

If you don’t have a dog, look for your least favorite family member and give them a piece, again observing their behavior. If they want to play cards and talk about the war, call a vet immediately. Your dog probably died 15 minutes ago. Stop feeding your family the cold turkey.

Apparently, it has been determined that turkeys aren’t washing their hands after going to the bathroom. Try taping the turkey’s rear-end shut (Do this after the turkey is dead. Remove all the icky stuff inside that nobody eats anyway). If your dog didn’t die, give him that stuff. If you are afraid to stick your hand up inside the cold, clammy turkey rear-end to remove the icky stuff inside, take your turkey outside and stick a garden hose in his neck and turn on the hydrant. This will flush out the icky stuff. Remember, take your turkey outside.

It is also recommended that you carry a rectal thermometer in your pocket this Thanksgiving Day. Don’t place your pride in front of your family’s health and safety.

Here’s some more useful Thanksgiving Holiday tips:

I always eat way too much at Thanksgiving. So, I start by starving myself the day before. Taking special care to eat only diaretic foods and drinking lots of water.

Find time to drink a lot of coffee and get little sleep the day before Thanksgiving. This will ensure that your naptime will not be interrupted after your noon meal.

Wear clothes that fit someone bigger than you. You may become that person in a few days and you may still be wearing these clothes if you slip into a gravy induced coma. If you have elastic clothing, wear that. The more it stretches the better. Remember, you have lots of body fat and you can survive several days if you become lodged in your bathtub. Do not panic.

Get plenty of exercise the day after Thanksgiving. Running to the bathroom because you undercooked your turkey does not count as exercise, but studies show that vomiting will produce weight loss in most people.

Thanksgiving dinner, particularly where you have it, can cause relationship stress between partners and among families. Especially family members who don’t get along. The following relationship advice should ensure a peaceful Thanksgiving dinner for you and your family:

Rather than choosing between two families, choose a neutral location for Thanksgiving dinner and invite both families together. Take your immediate family and go to the neutral place and don’t tell the other members of your family where you are.

A warm, juicy turkey is probably the one Thanksgiving tradition that everyone can agree is essential to properly celebrating the holiday.

But one of the greatest fears for people inviting friends and family over for a holiday feast is how to prepare the bird .And so I share this favorite Thanksgiving recipe of mine:

1.Heat car to operating temperature.

2.Place family in car far enough apart that they won’t fight.

3.If fighting occurs, separate a little further making idle threats.

4.Point car in desired direction and leave.

5.Arrive thirty minutes later at a relative’s home. (one that isn’t tired of your family because you only see them once or twice a year.

6.Eat their food and watch their TV until you can’t keep your eyes open.

7.Place leftover food (that you didn’t help prepare) on a tray with plastic wrap over the top to take home.

8.Reheat car to operating temperature and repeat instructions 2-4. 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

 

KWIBS  - November 15, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

Man, I am totally freaking out because this is the first year I can’t get a flu shot.

I’ve been watching the news and the presidential campaign wasn’t the only thing sickening people this season. There’s the flu. And since the discovery of contamination at one of the two factories in the world that make flu vaccine for the U.S. market, over half the vaccine doses ordered will not be delivered, causing massive shortages throughout the country. This is bad news for people suffering from the flu, but good news for people looking to scam some days off from work.

When I found there was a criteria for getting the flu shot, I looked to see if I fit it. Nope - Irritable Bowel Syndrome does not fall into that criteria, so I guess I’m not getting a flu shot.. Trust me, I asked new County Health Administrator Heather Henke.

A few weeks ago, John Kerry criticized Vice-President Dick Cheney for getting the shot. Let’s see, Mr. Cheney is over 60, has a heart condition that includes his need to wear a pacemaker, has had a few open-heart surgeries........ THAT GUY GOT A FLU SHOT? How dare he!

Doctors warn this year’s flu could be particularly strong, with symptoms including: headache, fever, vomiting, fatigue, and jealousy of your neighbor who got a flu shot.

Meanwhile, companies unable to get enough vaccine for their employees are resorting to measures such as hand sanitizers to keep their employees from contracting the potentially deadly disease. Because when it comes to providing America’s workers with health care, nothing is too good if it comes in a small bottle for 89 cents and smells like flowers.

In past years, demand for vaccine has not been an issue, with doctors typically reaching the end of flu season with millions of unused doses. But if there’s one good way to get Americans to want something, it’s to tell ‘em they can’t have it.

As a result there have been reports of long lines at pharmacies, price gouging, and even thefts, as 62 boxes of vaccine went missing from a Colorado health clinic. An employee at the clinic said, "I could not imagine that someone would actually steal a flu vaccine." She then added, "I mean, not after my imagination-ectomy."

This means that a needle full of flu vaccine is now both more expensive and harder to come by than a needle full of heroin, which means, for the first time ever, that your grandma has more street credit than Robert Downey, Jr.

If I end up getting the flu, I’m gonna be sick about it.

? ? ? ?

As if Wal-Mart doesn’t have enough stores in our country....

The chain’s latest store is being built in Teotihuacan, Mexico, barely a mile away from The Pyramids of the Sun and the Moon, literally in the shadows of the 2000-year-old ruins. But hey, don’t feel bad for the ruins. Just think of them as being even "more ruined."

I visited some ancient ruins a few years ago and commented to my wife, "Wouldn’t it be handy if there was a Wal-Mart nearby so we could get our prints developed?"

Despite Wal-Mart’s long history of generosity to the Mexican people — including employing them illegally in the United States, until it was forced to stop doing so by the federal government — the new store was greeted by protestors.

The 2000-year-old ruins were built by a little-known culture which is believed to have abandoned the pyramids 800 years ago, after the local economy was destroyed when a Sam’s Club wholesale warehouse opened up across the street that had cheaper live human sacrifices.

In other Wal-Mart news, the company recently opened "the world’s biggest Wal-Mart" in Honolulu, Hawaii, where thousands of shoppers were so eager to take advantage of the wide selection and low prices, they barely even noticed the handful of folks out front protesting the fact that Wal-Mart unearthed 44 ancient Hawaiian gravesites during construction.

Native groups had tried to stop the opening until the 44 remains of Hawaiians unearthed during construction could be reburied. A Wal-Mart spokeswoman said the company is treating the remains with respect, placing them in the entrances to the store to greet customers.

Wal-Mart says the store will offer residents, "quality merchandise, low prices, and Wal-Mart’s spirit of aloha." A nice gesture to local custom, although it should be pointed out that Wal-Mart’s spirit of aloha was made in China.

Have a great week. Shop your hometown first.

November 8, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

I hadn’t given it a whole lot of thought, but it occurred to me last Sunday evening that all Halloween is, is a time for children to stock up on sugar to last them until Easter…..

Halloween’s origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom, and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. I associate this time with it getting dark by 6 p.m..

Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth, probably searching for candy. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.

Somehow this ancient tradition evolved into the holiday that will push thousands of children over the edge to becoming diabetics.

So, like all good parents do, Ronda and I loaded up our costumed boys and took them to town to trick-or-treat last weekend. They were like a couple of heroin addicts who had just escaped the Betty Ford Clinic looking for their next fix. We got to town and entered the first neighborhood. They were like Trick-or-Treating Special Forces and they organized and hit like 30 houses in less than 15 minutes. I walked the streets with the kids, while Ronda drove the Suburban like a get-away vehicle leaving a bank robbery. We had 1.5 hours and we were on a candy mission.

There’s always the usual houses we hit: John Nixon’s (giant candy bars), Dr. Pete’s (fun decorations and scary music), Grandma Joyce’s house (for photographs), Tate and Elisa’s (where there is usually a trick or treat for dad) and the Holy Grail of Halloween Houses – Johnny Bowers house on A-way Street. I’m probably blowing it for my kids’ Halloween future, but this is the house where candy is distributed by a backhoe and my kids know it. I’m guessing that either the Bowers spend hundreds on candy for Trick-or-Treaters or my kids are two of the luckiest kids in town. It’s one of the best kept secrets around. Well, it was one of the best kept secret in town.

In the course of the evening, Joey and Nicholas netted some 10 lbs of candy each, enough to rot out 25 complete sets of teeth. Joey’s orthodontist is most likely behind this madness. I’m sure he takes the thousands of dollars we’ve spent on his mouth and uses it to promote the Halloween Holiday.

I could hear my kids in the back seat on the way home inventorying the spoils of the evening. Occasionally, I could hear a wrapper being peeled, quietly, so not to alert their parents that their children were eating sugar so soon before their bedtimes.

We got home just before Nick’s bedtime and I was trying to help him out of his costume and into his pajamas. You wouldn’t believe how hard it was since he refused to put down his sack of candy. He might have even gained a pound or two during the ride home.

Joey, will no doubt, lock himself into his bedroom with his sack of candy and slip into a chocolate induced coma by the week’s end. We’ll have to call in professional negotiators to talk him out so that he doesn’t hurt himself. I’m planning on buying a defibulator in the event I have to jump start his heart. Nicholas will probably use his candy like currency to purchase favors from his older brother like playing his Xbox. And what about me? Well, I’ve been sneaking into their rooms at night and stealing the Mr. Goodbars and Snickers from each of their sacks!

My tummy hurts….

Have a great week!

Premiere Inside

School
Sports
Record
Local
Deaths
Opinion
KWIBS
Classifieds
Business Dir.
Subscribe
Ad Information
Staff
Contact Us

KWIBS - From January 14, 2013 - By Kevin Noland

By the time you’ve gotten to my column, you’ve probably read that my dad passed away Friday night.

I remember reading my dad’s KWIBS in December of 1985 when he had to share the news about his father dying. In the window of our store there is a framed front page of the newspaper with my Grandpa Bill’s picture. There’s also one of when my Grandma Ethelyn died.

It’s hard to write your parent’s obituary. I could say so much about my dad in a large space. His story is so big and his death so close to deadline, that I am sure he’ll understand.

My dad died at the Attica Nursing Home. He had been suffering from severe dementia for many years and rapidly declined in health this past year. It’s comforting to know he’s not suffering anymore. He's at peace now. Dad died on my Grandson Kycen's 3rd birthday. Now it’s Kycen’s birthday and dad's rebirthday. Pretty cool blessing from the Lord. I know when he died that his mind cleared and he lives on with Jesus.

He also leaves a legacy in ink that I share with him in a bond I will treasure for all my days.

KWIBS  - September 20, 2004 - By Kevin Noland

I’m a restless person, so when I travel long distances, I prefer to fly. Driving is too stressful and I can’t sit still longer than about an hour before going crazy.

We flew to South Carolina last week to attend a military graduation for former Medicine Lodge resident Dale McCurdy. Naturally, we flew there. It’s 900+ miles.

I’m not afraid to fly, but I do get that nervous, anxious feeling on planes. I hate the feeling of being crammed in a seat designed for a 12 year old girl’s frame. Most designers of airplanes don’t include foot room either. They’re probably a bunch of "footless" designers sitting in a room punishing the rest of us who do have feet. A lot of times, I’ll hang my feet out in the isle. The flight attendants seem to always whack an elbow or drive that mobile concession stand right over a toe on every flight. I’ll bet it’s a game for them.

Have you ever noticed that men who are flight attendants seem to be very, how should I say it, happy?

On our last flight home from Atlanta, I was really tired and my mind started paying very close attention to all of what the flight attendants were saying and doing. I was pretty sure that our female flight attendant was Mr. Bean wearing a blonde wig. I have illustrated this with the magic of photo shop.

The no smoking sign on the newly built airplane had me thinking too.

What idiot actually thinks he COULD smoke on the plane? It is probably the guy they froze in 1972, dieing of lung cancer and just thawed out, looking for the cure. He’s on his way home from the Chryo Clinic and needs a smoke really bad. This is for his benefit, right?

They stressed NO SMOKING in the bathroom, like we were a bunch of mischievous high school kids. And don’t tamper with the smoke alarm or you’ll get fined $10,000, the equivalent of the cost of about 3,712 smoke alarms.

There were no ash trays on the arm rests like I remember from years ago, but there was an ash tray on the door of the bathroom. It was like they were saying, "just try and smoke in here buddy."

Who could smoke in the bathroom of an airplane anyway? There’s probably not enough air in there to make the combustion part of lighting the cigarette possible. The bathrooms are miniaturized. I can barely get my pants down in there. And if I do manage to do that, I can’t stand up off of the stool without resting my chin on the stainless steal sink, trying to keep my knees from getting pinched in the accordion door, while pulling up my pants.

I always fear that I might accidently push the "Call Flight Attendant" button instead of the "flush" button. Everything is so close together in there. There’s even a 110 volt outlet for passengers who carry in things like toasters on the plane.

While in Atlanta, we were grounded for some time while we were waiting our turn in line to take off. I sat and listened to the flight attendant as she flipped through the safety features of our airplane, specifically the emergency exits and the passengers’ responsibilities of opening the doors in case of an emergency, i.e., crash....

She said, "If you are seated in row 14, this is an emergency exit. If you are unable to perform the duties or are injured and cannot perform your duties, please ask a flight attendant to move you at this time."

I thought, now if I’m in that row and an emergency arises, how will I know if I need to move because of an injury? I’m not currently injured and I really won’t know if I’m injured until the time comes for me to open the door.

Fortunately, I wasn’t in that section, so it was someone else’s problem, unless of course, we were to crash, survive the crash and needed off the plane. Then it was everyone’s problem.

A guy sitting in that row raised his hand and asked to be moved. He didn’t look injured to me. If I had a choice, I’d want to sit there. I’d be the first person off of the plane, if the plane was still something to exit from in the event of an emergency. Upon closer observation I learned he didn’t speak English. So it was a good idea to move him.

"Sir, open the door. The plane is on fire." He just smiles and waves......

She showed us how the seat belts worked. This is something I didn’t need instruction on, but paid close attention to anyway.

Just before take off, we had a problem with the main door. Apparently, Mr. (or Mrs.) Bean shut his tie in there or something and we had to wait. So I decided this was a good time for a bathroom break. I got up and asked the other flight attendant if I could go and she said, "Yes, but hurry."

Saying "Yes, but hurry" automatically tells my body to cease all function except respiratory and limited nervous system. I went into the bathroom, shut the door and instantly the plane started rolling. This did not help the "hurry" part. Then came the "sir, you need to take your seat. We’re departing." That pretty much ended "hurry" all together.

"I’m trying to hurry," I said. Ah forget it... I returned to my seat, now very uncomfortable.

As soon as plane took off I heard, "ding, dong". I thought to myself, who could be at the door at this altitude? Then I realized it was the fasten seat belt sign. The flight attendant said I could now roam the cabin freely, like the buffalo on the plains I imagined.

I shot out of my tiny chair and ran for the bathroom, only to be beaten by someone in first class. Those jerks in first class think they’re so cool. So, I asked the flight attendant if it was OK, if I sat down in first class while waiting my turn for the bathroom. Before she could answer, I clicked my seat belt, smiling to show her that I was paying attention earlier when she showed the passengers how they worked. I figured, she’d have to let me sit there now. I was putting safety first. She agreed to let me stay there, but only until the bathroom was free and then I had to return to my peasant seat in coach.

These seats were awesome! They reclined way back and I could stretch my feet all the way out.

"So, this is what first class is all about," I said to the lady sitting by the picture window. She somewhat ignored me, only acknowledging that I was sitting there for a short period of time. This was done by raising one eyebrow and looking at me over her glasses. She had a bigger bag of pretzels than what we were given back in coach. Hey, come to think of it, we hadn’t even been served back there yet.

The concessions cart rolled by. This time my hands, feet and elbows were comfortably tucked away in the Lazy Boy recliner-style seat in first class. The flight attendant glared at me, but I pointed to the "Occupied" sign on the bathroom door and she went on her way, reaching now for smaller bags of pretzels and bottled water for the less fortunate passengers. It seemed like she was throwing them at the passengers.

The bathroom door opened and I nearly knocked the old guy that was in there into the cockpit door on my way past him.

Ahhhhhh......

I practically had to stand on the stool to open the door while exiting and realized that the concessions cart was now blocking coach. I tapped the flight attendant on the shoulder, the one that was glaring at me earlier and asked, "Is it against federal aviation rules for me to hurdle the cart in the isle?"

She said, "Yes, it is sir. Please take your seat."

"I can’t," I said, pointing 15 rows back.

She pointed to the first class seat and without hesitation, I plopped my butt down, stretched out and opened my pretzels.

Finally, after about 15 minutes, I looked back to see my seat was clear, so I gingerly walked back and sat next to Ronda.

The flight was only 45 minutes long so by the time I got back, we were preparing for landing.

The announcement came to put our tray tables up and our seats in the upright position, like there is any other position to the seats in coach. They only recline about 4mm - again, punishment by the "footless" airplane designers. This statement is for the benefit of those in first class who can actually recline. They were laughing up there, I could feel it. Have a great week!